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1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:04,936
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,285
Oh, no! No!
3
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,633
Ah, why me?
4
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,787
What's wrong, Tony?
5
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,667
I've been called for jury duty.
6
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,457
Oh... Ah, you're very lucky.
7
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,770
You're getting a
chance to participate
8
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:34,804
in the judicial system.
9
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:35,839
It's really a privilege.
10
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,296
Have you ever been called?
11
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,609
Not so far. Yeah.
12
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:41,866
Here you go.
13
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,369
(phone ringing)
14
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:50,942
Yo... Alex, phone for you.
15
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,911
Oh, thanks, Jim.
16
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,913
Who is it? Your father.
17
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:58,250
I don't want to talk to him.
18
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,186
He'll have to call you back.
19
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,756
Are you anywhere near a phone?
20
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,063
He says it's important.
21
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,330
(mouthing words)
22
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,844
You're not gonna
talk to your father?
23
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:15,645
Look, I'll, uh, I'll
trade ya, okay?
24
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,480
You talk to him and
I'll do your jury duty.
25
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,304
Oh, come on, Alex.
26
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:21,418
I know you're not close
to your father, "Not close"?
27
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,820
But don't you think this is... We've
talked exactly once in the last 20 years.
28
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,176
Why is he calling me now?
29
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:29,147
Well, you know, some people
yakkety-yakkety-yakkety-yak.
30
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,696
Come on, pick up that phone.
No, no, no, no, no, Elaine. Elaine.
31
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,364
Right now, it's the first
step. I don't want to talk
32
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,665
to the guy! Give me
this. Give me this.
33
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,249
Elaine, please. Here. Alex.
34
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,660
Hello?
35
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,661
Yeah.
36
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,632
So, what's goin' on?
37
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,369
Come on, what'd I miss?
38
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:51,603
Come on, come on,
39
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,038
what's new in the
always fascinating world
40
00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:57,109
of my drivers?
41
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,810
Why should we tell you?
42
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,278
None of your business, Louie.
43
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,747
Alex got a call from his father.
44
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:05,883
Hey, what the heck?
45
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,322
Tony's got jury duty.
46
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,325
Oh...
47
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,028
Well, the law says
48
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,998
"everyone's entitled
to a jury of their peers."
49
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,000
Who are they tryin', a pinhead?
50
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,105
Ha-ha-ha, Louie.
51
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,673
I give the kid this...
52
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,542
He's never at a
loss for a comeback.
53
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:36,181
Boy, can you imagine
being some poor defendant?
54
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:40,718
You're caught in a web
of circumstantial evidence.
55
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,220
You've got all your hopes
56
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:45,590
pinned on an incredibly
complicated defense.
57
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,159
You glance over at the jury box
58
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,362
and there's Banta
playin' with his lips.
59
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,676
Oh. Are you okay?
60
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,178
Yeah, I guess so.
61
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,246
He wants to take me to lunch.
62
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,426
Oh. He said he's coming
over here in a few minutes.
63
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,918
Well, well, did he say
what's on his mind?
64
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,420
Yeah, only that we've been
strangers for so many years,
65
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,467
he figures it's time we
became friends again. Good.
66
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:20,258
Sounds like a pretty
nice fella to me.
67
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,896
Who are we talkin' about?
68
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,631
Alex's father, Jim.
69
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,366
Oh, oh, uh, right, right.
70
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,612
ALEX: Jim.
71
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,070
Jim, he walked out on
the family when I was a kid
72
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,339
and I haven't seen him since,
73
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,084
except that one time
when he was in the hospital.
74
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,452
What, is he in town on business?
75
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,810
No, no, no, he lives
here now. Since when?
76
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,979
1974.
77
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,450
And you haven't seen him in all
that time? Look, Elaine, Elaine,
78
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,131
just leave me alone... look, I'm entitled
to resent what he did to my mother.
79
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,622
Your mother?! My
God, who is this man?
80
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:57,095
He's always been a
compulsive ladies' man.
81
00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,464
And a real charmer,
too, by the way.
82
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,299
I mean, that, that
was his curse.
83
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,346
You know, every woman he
saw became a challenge to him.
84
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,070
Okay, Alex, but, you know,
85
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,739
time presumably has
taken care of that little habit.
86
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,309
Yeah. He's probably just
a sweet, little old man now.
87
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,556
Oh, big deal. What am I gonna
do with a sweet, little old man?
88
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:14,858
I mean, what are
we gonna talk about?
89
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,181
Oh, God, I hate it.
90
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,370
It's always so awkward
when we get together.
91
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,363
We don't know whether
to shake hands or hug.
92
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,431
We end up standing
and staring at each other.
93
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,588
Look, whatever you do,
94
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,001
don't make a big
deal out of this, okay?
95
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,702
Just don't anybody
make a big fuss.
96
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,426
Oh, God, here he comes now.
97
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,572
Look, just cool it, all right?
98
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:30,876
Just cool it.
99
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,610
Hello.
100
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,347
Hi, Joe.
101
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,719
(sighs)
102
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,721
Why don't you just get up and...
103
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,350
Elaine, Elaine, stop.
Don't do this to me.
104
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,564
You push a girl like that away?
105
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:11,069
You're still mad at me?
106
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,803
Look, we'll talk later, okay?
107
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,806
Um, uh, uh, this is Elaine.
108
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,287
This is Tony. This is Jim.
109
00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:19,277
This is Joe Reiger.
110
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,153
That's for all the
sons in the world
111
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,155
who never hugged their fathers.
112
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,825
This is the one I talked
to on the phone, isn't it?
113
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,332
Nice seeing you again, Alex.
114
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,034
Been such a long time.
115
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,435
It sure has.
116
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,282
Running around with other women,
117
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,118
leaving your mother
was inexcusable.
118
00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:49,841
I wasn't good as a husband,
119
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,010
I wasn't good as a
father, but at least I was
120
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,178
a good enough
human being to realize
121
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,248
what a bad influence I
was and simply leave.
122
00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:59,294
Yeah, and never send a dime.
123
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,919
I didn't say "perfect,"
I said "good."
124
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,867
For Heaven sake,
Alex, I'm an old man.
125
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,092
I'm not saying we can
be a close father and son.
126
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,637
I'm not saying
we can be friends.
127
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,706
I'm just saying can't
we be a couple of guys
128
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:11,930
who don't bother each other?
129
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,568
I guess so. I guess so.
130
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,037
Okay, we can give it a shot.
131
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,643
How come you never remarried?
132
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,044
I don't know.
133
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,457
I guess it's kind
of hard to find
134
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:29,914
the woman I'm looking for.
135
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,382
What are you looking for?
136
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,385
Well...
137
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,555
Someone who's interested
in the world and, uh,
138
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,324
doesn't take it too seriously.
139
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:41,437
Someone who's not afraid
to ask for what she wants.
140
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,805
Excuse me, if you're through
141
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,640
with that newspaper,
could I borrow it?
142
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,184
I want to see the Doonesbury
cartoon on Alexander Haig.
143
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,345
Yeah, sure. Thank you.
144
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:54,172
Uh, someone who's,
uh, not afraid to be happy.
145
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,841
(laughing)
146
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,210
And someone who appreciates me.
147
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,839
Thank you very much.
That was nice of you.
148
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:07,218
Alex. Hmm?
149
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,390
Oh, yeah, that's amazing.
150
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:14,892
She's lovely.
151
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,906
And you spotted her
before I did, didn't ya?
152
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,396
I saw her park her car.
153
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,231
I memorized her license plate.
154
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,834
Excuse me.
155
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,402
Joe! Joe, cool it, will ya?
156
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,871
I'm not going to embarrass you.
157
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,908
Hi. This young man here
158
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,143
was just describing
the perfect woman,
159
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,345
and he described you to a "T."
160
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,281
Oh, come on.
161
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,116
Joe, would you stop, please?
162
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,195
Alex, there's nothing
wrong with nice people
163
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:41,731
acknowledging
they're nice people.
164
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,315
Well, that was very nice.
165
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,524
I think she likes you.
166
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,059
Oh, please.
167
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,628
What's your name, sweetheart?
168
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,031
Karen. "Karen."
169
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,100
This is Alex.
170
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,567
He's a wonderful person...
171
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,303
Kind, sensitive, very quiet.
172
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,671
So without further
ado, here he is
173
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,585
to ask you what you're
doing tomorrow night.
174
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,175
Joe, please!
175
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,379
(chuckles)
176
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,657
What are you doing
tomorrow night?
177
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:11,683
Good, Alex. Joe, come on.
178
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,051
I'm sorry, this must be
very embarrassing for you.
179
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,721
I mean, it's very embarrassing
for me, believe me.
180
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,991
Yeah, but as long as
we've come this far,
181
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,060
I'm not doing anything
tomorrow night.
182
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,662
Great (chuckles).
183
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,863
Let's go out.
184
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,732
Great. Where are we going?
185
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:30,968
How about a movie?
186
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,470
Oh, come on, Joe.
187
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,183
That's not very
imaginative of you.
188
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,674
I mean, uh, I thought, uh...
189
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,788
I know a great place
in the Village for jazz.
190
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,211
Oh, I love movies.
191
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,547
Yeah? Well I hate jazz anyway.
192
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,460
I was just foolishly
trying to show you
193
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:45,916
that I have a mind of my own.
194
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,225
Now, here's Joe to make
the arrangements; go ahead.
195
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:52,190
Why don't you meet
here at 8:00 for drinks?
196
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,125
See you then.
197
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,127
Okay.
198
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,433
She's great, isn't she?
199
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,602
Yeah, she really is.
200
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:06,749
Hey, look, Joe,
um, this was, uh,
201
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,051
this was a lot better than I
even imagined, you know?
202
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,552
Why don't we do
it again sometime?
203
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,509
It's been great. Okay, soon.
204
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,511
I'll pay the check.
205
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,117
Tommy, here.
206
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,364
Thank you. Karen,
I'll see you right here
207
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,566
tomorrow at 8:00.
208
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,030
I'm looking forward
to it, Alex. Me, too.
209
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,228
Smooth, Reiger, smooth.
210
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:41,305
Hi. I just wanted to say
I'm sorry if I made you, uh,
211
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,107
feel uncomfortable
a few minutes ago.
212
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,453
Oh, no, that's okay.
213
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,911
I'm Joe McGinty.
214
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,984
Sometimes I find it
hard to resist being cute.
215
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:55,353
I've tried to stop it.
216
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:58,122
I even went to
Cutie-Pies Anonymous.
217
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:01,804
I must say, I do feel like
dunking you in a cup of coffee.
218
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:06,097
Oh... Well, it's
nice meeting you.
219
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,599
Oh, by the way,
220
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,302
uh, I see that you're a
big fan of Doonesbury.
221
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,349
If you like political humor,
222
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,174
I think you'd be
interested in a lecture
223
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,387
down at the New School
on Wednesday night:
224
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,524
Art Buchwald, Jules
Pfeiffer, Russell Baker.
225
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,982
Why, that's fantastic.
Maybe I'll go.
226
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,828
Yeah, and maybe
I'll see you there.
227
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,952
Oh, no!
228
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,955
I just realized you have
to have tickets for that,
229
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,623
and I think they're sold out.
230
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,204
Oh... Well, if you're
that interested,
231
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,395
uh, how about my tickets?
232
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,831
Oh, no, I wouldn't think of it.
233
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,833
Why don't you take just one?
234
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,371
Now, wait a minute.
235
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,573
I don't think that's
a good idea either.
236
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,419
I just made a date
with your friend.
237
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,363
I'd feel funny
dating both of you.
238
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,491
JOE: First of all,
239
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,880
this isn't really a date.
240
00:11:56,950 --> 00:12:00,318
Second of all, he's
really not my friend.
241
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,888
We've only seen each other
two times in the last 20 years.
242
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,517
So I'll leave a ticket
at the box office.
243
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,137
If you feel like coming,
I'll meet you there.
244
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,894
Well, then I don't
suppose there's any harm
245
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,441
in dating both of
you. Oh, of course not.
246
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:13,409
It's the most natural
thing in the world.
247
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:17,268
Especially if one of us happens
to be a harmless, old man.
248
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,937
Which one of you is that?
249
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,605
(chuckles)
250
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,206
Then it's a date?
251
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,687
(giggles): Okay. I'll walk
you to your blue Alpha
252
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,811
with the brown seats. Why, you!
253
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,349
(laughing)
254
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,830
Hey, uh, what's so funny, Louie?
255
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:38,623
Reiger's on thin ice,
and I'm a blow torch.
256
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,468
Hey.
257
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,471
Tony. I thought
you'd be at jury duty.
258
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,139
Yeah, I was.
259
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,788
Except, uh, I kept getting
turned down by all the lawyers.
260
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,257
And for the dumbest reasons,
too, like, "Where do I live?"
261
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,881
Oh, come on.
262
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,994
They don't challenge you
off a jury because of that.
263
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,185
It's true. I filled
out a questionnaire.
264
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,398
It asked if I was a
resident of New York City.
265
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,455
I wrote "yes."
266
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,867
Then it asked
length of residence.
267
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,824
I wrote "about 30 feet."
268
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:19,764
Uh, maybe you measured wrong.
269
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,670
(Alex whistling)
270
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,172
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
271
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,208
And meanwhile,
while you were away,
272
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,021
Alex got himself
a new girlfriend.
273
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,677
TONY: Oh... Well,
I wouldn't go so far
274
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,157
as to say she
was my "girlfriend."
275
00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,347
Yeah, who is she? Who is she?
276
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,160
She's a commercial
artist named Karen.
277
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,544
Woo-woo. Yeah.
278
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,897
You've been seeing a
lot of her, haven't you?
279
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,422
Well, I guess I have
been monopolizing her.
280
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,423
(hysterical laughter)
281
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,932
Excuse me.
282
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,468
Oh, I can't contain myself.
283
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,470
Pay no attention.
284
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,872
What is it, Louie?
285
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,786
Something I said
about me and Karen?
286
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,910
(hysterical laughter)
287
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,351
Certainly not.
288
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:16,187
Oh, come on.
289
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,599
If there's something
so hilarious
290
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:19,268
about me and Karen,
I'd like to hear it.
291
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:22,326
You don't understand, Reiger.
292
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,662
This is special.
293
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:27,098
It just can't be blurted.
294
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,267
Well, suit yourself.
295
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:33,938
It's like a fine wine.
296
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,974
First, we should uncork it.
297
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,943
(pops)
298
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,679
Then, we let it breathe.
299
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,915
Then, we pour it.
300
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,350
(mimics pouring)
301
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:48,753
Then, we taste it.
302
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,624
(gargles)
303
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,961
Then, we swill it down.
304
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,589
Can I have some of that, boss?
305
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,901
(indistinct)
306
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,317
Was he making you curious? Yeah.
307
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,819
Well, he's not
making me curious.
308
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,687
Whatever's on his mind,
I'm not the least bit curious.
309
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,143
What the hell is on your mind?
310
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,113
Well, I was just wondering
311
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:20,484
whether you and this Karen
woman have a, you know,
312
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,287
"exclusive" relationship,
313
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:27,625
or whether she dates other guys?
314
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,328
Oh, what happened,
what happened, Louie?
315
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,364
You saw her with
some other guys?
316
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,635
Well, I happen to know
she dates other guys.
317
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,348
And it happens to
be okay with me.
318
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,905
Well, I don't mind
tellin' you, Reiger,
319
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:45,943
that takes some
broad-minded guy.
320
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,878
I take my hat off to ya.
321
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,848
Come on, Louie, why
are you going on like this?
322
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,494
You keep acting like
you know something
323
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,930
that he doesn't, so what is it?
324
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:59,958
Well, I mean... it
takes some kinda guy
325
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:04,996
to share a woman...
with his own father.
326
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:15,539
I was there the first time
the old boy asked her out.
327
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,342
I've seen them leave
Mario's together.
328
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,846
She's two-timing
you with your old man.
329
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,849
(hysterical laughter)
330
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,090
Hey, Reiger,
331
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,526
I'm sorry I had to
be the one to tell you.
332
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,209
Hi, Alex.
333
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,910
Karen, before this relationship
334
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,379
goes one step further, I
have a question to ask you.
335
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,780
I, uh, heard some gossip,
336
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,716
uh, something some
little bat told me.
337
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,519
You aren't by any chance
dating my father, are you?
338
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,787
Dating your father? Yeah?
339
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:06,323
(laughing)
340
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,893
Oh, now, Alex, that's absurd.
341
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:11,896
Oh, God... Thank you.
342
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,163
That's a relief.
343
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,110
I mean, that would be
ludicrous, wouldn't it?
344
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,001
Oh... Oh, now listen.
345
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,114
I think I know what happened.
346
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:20,938
I have been seeing Joe,
347
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:24,408
the guy that you were
with here the other day.
348
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,856
Someone obviously
mistook him for your father.
349
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,479
Yeah, me and my mother.
350
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,615
Oh, no.
351
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,417
Alex, what are you saying?
352
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,086
(groaning)
353
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,556
That munchkin I was having
lunch here with the other day
354
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:39,556
is my father!
355
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:40,791
(gasps)
356
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,361
Oh, now, come on,
Karen, it's not that bad.
357
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:44,895
(screams)
358
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,930
Karen, it's really not that bad.
359
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,499
At least we nipped it in the bud
360
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,208
before anything
embarrassing could happen.
361
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:54,238
(moaning)
362
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,206
I can't believe it!
363
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,841
The man lied to me.
364
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,555
Maybe he lied about everything.
365
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,590
He seemed so dear and sweet.
366
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,747
(groans)
367
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,749
Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry.
368
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,737
If I had known, I
wouldn't have...
369
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,986
Oh...
370
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,988
Karen, just tell me
one thing, will ya?
371
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,123
I mean, what is
it about that guy?
372
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:16,060
All his life he's had the
most beautiful women.
373
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,729
Women so beautiful,
it took my breath away.
374
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,876
Even thinking about
them took my breath away.
375
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,833
My mother thought I had asthma.
376
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,848
I mean, I hated him
for what he was doing,
377
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,850
but at the same time, I
was always in awe of him.
378
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,273
What does he have?
379
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,942
Well, he makes me laugh.
380
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,444
Makes you laugh? How?
381
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,513
Well, I don't know.
382
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,648
Silly things.
383
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,316
He imitates soup.
384
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,986
Pardon me?
385
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,254
Pea soup.
386
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:47,525
Oh, I know what it is about Joe:
387
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,560
he loves women.
388
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,895
But I love women.
389
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,231
No, no, no-no-no... I
mean, he loves women.
390
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,668
I-I've seen his eyes
glisten with tears
391
00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:00,204
at the way I put on an earring.
392
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,673
Oh, talking about him
this way makes me
393
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,675
almost wish he wasn't slime.
394
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,276
Now wait a minute,
395
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,190
that's my father
you're talking about.
396
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,480
Please continue.
397
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,094
He's expecting me for dinner.
398
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,719
I am going to go over
there... No, I'm not.
399
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,099
Why not? Go ahead. Do it.
No, I'm not gonna go over there.
400
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,067
I'm gonna call him and
give him a piece of my mind.
401
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,402
No, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
402
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:21,704
Don't you think this should
be done face-to-face?
403
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,060
I don't want to go over there.
404
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,239
I never want to see him again.
405
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,097
No, I was thinking more
of my face and his face.
406
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,566
For the first time in my life,
407
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,779
I'm looking forward to
seeing that father of mine.
408
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,569
Uh, I'll call you later.
409
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,613
(knocking on door)
410
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:51,021
Joe, this is the lousiest
thing I've ever heard of!
411
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:52,934
This is the lousiest
thing you've ever done,
412
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:53,969
and that's saying something!
413
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,737
You went behind my back!
414
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,028
You lied, it's the most
despicable thing...
415
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,263
This place is gorgeous.
416
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,368
Thank you. My second
wife left me a bundle.
417
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,603
I'd ask you to explain
418
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,817
how you could do such a
thing to Karen and to me,
419
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,352
but I don't think in a
million years you could...
420
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,936
There's no fish in this tank.
421
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:15,412
I always wanted
422
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,361
a fish tank; they're so pretty.
423
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,161
But the fish are
too much bother.
424
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,451
Oh! You know, you're amazing!
425
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,120
Did it ever occur to you
426
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,067
how, how you could
hurt Karen and me?
427
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,891
Your second wife?
428
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,225
You were married again?
429
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:30,561
Yeah, 15 years ago.
430
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,396
She was a doctor.
431
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,833
This is your step-brother Mel.
432
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,035
"Mel"?
433
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,349
Now look, Joe, I didn't
come here to talk to you.
434
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,584
I came here to tell you something;
I'm-a tell it to you right now.
435
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,953
I don't respect
anything you stand for
436
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,388
and I never want
to see you again.
437
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,179
Good, I'm glad you feel better.
438
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:50,981
You were so upset
when you came in.
439
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,250
Now that that's
settled, why don't you go
440
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:55,186
because Karen is going
to be here any minute.
441
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,665
No-no, no-no,
no-no, no, she's not.
442
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,567
She doesn't want to have
anything more to do with you.
443
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,659
You mean I cooked
my specialty for nothing?
444
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:02,994
What's your specialty?
445
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,295
Tuna casserole.
446
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,062
That was Mom's specialty!
447
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,398
Remember her?
448
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,600
Yes. I got the recipe from her.
449
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:12,202
I changed it a little.
450
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,882
She always used a
little too much salt.
451
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:16,340
She used absolutely
the right amount of salt!
452
00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:18,709
She used the perfect
amount of salt, you lousy rat!
453
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,280
It's a matter of taste.
454
00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:23,792
Why don't you sit
down and have some?
455
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:26,016
You're not even
bothered by the fact
456
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,529
that I said I'm never
gonna see you again?
457
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,863
What is it? It's
like hitting air.
458
00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:31,555
You're wrong, Alex, it
would bother me a great deal.
459
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,724
But it's not true.
460
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,559
Why isn't it? You
have to see me.
461
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,561
You have to listen
to me, 'cause I'm old.
462
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,129
I'm going to die.
463
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:41,231
Probably a long time before you.
464
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,667
And anytime I call, you'll come,
465
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,202
'cause it could be the
last time you'll see me.
466
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,174
Tonight could be the
last time you see me.
467
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,547
I don't like you, Joe.
468
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,449
I like you.
469
00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:01,452
Call it love, call it
blood, call it genes,
470
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:04,654
but every ten years or
so, I have got to see you.
471
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:08,893
You're not such a dull guy.
472
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:11,028
You've still got
a little kick in you.
473
00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:13,698
And you're not bad with
the ladies, from what I saw.
474
00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:16,478
Oh, yeah? Well, you're not so bad
with 'em either, from what I've heard.
475
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,001
Karen?
476
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,436
I did the pea soup.
477
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:20,938
What the hell is the "pea soup"?
478
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:24,208
Thick pea soup
coming to a furious boil.
479
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:47,631
You can't do that without
getting a pinch on the cheek.
480
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:48,943
Women really like that?
481
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,702
Drives 'em nuts.
482
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:54,805
Listen, the only thing
you can do right now, Alex,
483
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,474
is kiss me on top of the
head and sit down and eat.
484
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,677
I'm not gonna kiss
you on top of the head.
485
00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,679
Your loss.
486
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:15,559
(clanking)
487
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,123
♪ ♪
488
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:00,938
(theme song playing)
489
00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:25,340
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!
490
00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:26,396
(man grumbling)
34798
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