Original subtitles

- Hey. - Hey, Barbra Jean.

Where you been for the last couple of days?

And when you goin' back?

Forgive me for not dropping by as much as we would both like,

but since the hurricane,

I have been swamped with my volunteer duties

as head of the Save the Dog campaign,

or as I like to call it: STD.

Oh, so how's your little foster puppy working out?

Oh, great, he's so cute.

Jake's been playing with him all morning.

And Van's so jealous that he put bacon fat behind his ear.

That's how I got Brock.

[clears throat]

Listen, we got a problem.

What's up?

The dog's family saw the picture I put online,

and, after the hurricane, they were bused here to Houston,

so they're gonna be here in about 10 minutes.

Oh, well, we knew it was gonna happen.

It just happened sooner than we expected.

We better go break the news to Jake.

This isn't gonna be easy.

I think I'm gonna call him Jake Junior.

I love him so much.

I want him to be my son.

Oh, Lord.

Reba, this is the most painful part of STD.

Hey, Jake, we have some great news about the dog.

You know how we talked about the best situation would be

if his family found him and could come get him?

- Mmm-hmm. - Well, they have,

and they're coming by to pick him up today.

You gonna be okay with this?

Mom, it's not about me.

Jake Junior's gonna be with his family.

That's why we did this.

My sweet, sweet little man.

You understand charity.

Even though it's hard on us, we always help those in need.

And you get that,

which reflects well on me.

[doorbell rings]

It's them.

Okay, now remember, these people have had a tough time.

Let's make sure that we stay upbeat and positive,

and not dwell on everything that they've been through.

Van... [hums]

[chuckles]

Hi, I'm Ruby Jackson, and this is my grandson, Darnell.

Oh, you poor, miserable wretches. [crying]

You were almost swallowed up by the sea.

Barbra Jean, let 'em go, they suffered enough.

Hi, I'm Reba Hart.

Hi, Reba.

Grandma, it's Jambalaya!

- This is so kind of you, Reba. - Oh.

Well, Ruby, actually, the kindness was mine.

Hi, I'm Barbra Jean Hart,

and I'm the face of STD.

Well, thank you all for taking care of our dog.

Well, we were very happy to.

We're very glad that Jambalaya gets to go home with his family.

Well, unfortunately, he's not.

We're staying down at the shelter, and they don't take pets.

But a kennel has volunteered to take him.

A kennel?

You mean doggy jail?

No, a shelter, like the one that we're living in, except for dogs.

But thank you for pointing out the similarities to jail.

Come on, baby. We got to get back to the shelter now.

Okay, you know what?

We have plenty of room.

Why don't y'all just stay here with us, all of ya?

Oh, no, Reba, that's asking too much.

No, it's not really.

Really, we can make room.

Stay with us. Don't go back down there to that shelter.

Yeah. It's horrible and cold and...

and full of homeless people.

- Does she live here? - No.

Then we'll stay.

Oh, that stupid copy machine breaks down every other day.

And so I took the flier, I put it in the fax machine,

but then the fax machine jammed.

So we don't have any fliers for our open house tomorrow.

You think you had it rough?

I had to listen to you all the way home.

I'm sorry, Van. I'm just in a terrible mood.

I really shouldn't be around people today.

[indistinct chatter]

[whispers] Mrs. H, do you see 'em too?

[theme song playing]

[Reba] Hey, hey.

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands ♪

♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Hey...

Black people.

[in African-American style] Oh, Ruby girl, you so crazy.

Yo, Rebs, Van.

'Sup? [chuckles]

Hey, Barbra Jean.

What is goin' on here?

A miracle.

Grandma Ruby finally got in touch with her family,

and she was gonna meet them at the shelter,

but I said, "That's silly."

"There's tons more room at Reba's house."

Barbra Jean, did you do something with your hair?

Yeah, yeah. Do you like it?

Felicia did it.

I won't have to wash my hair for a month.

Look. Look.

- [laughs] - [Van] Mmm.

Something smells great, and I'm hungry.

What an awesome convergence of circumstances.

I feel ya, V.

There's food in the kitchen.

[sing-song] ♪ Know what I'm sayin'? ♪

No. No, I don't.

Well, I do. Word.

Hello.

Barbra Jean, I don't have enough room here for all these people.

First off, they're called, "my peeps."

[chuckles]

And they're only here for dinner, so chill, girlfriend.

[vocalizing]

I love that. [laughs]

Barbra Jean, you're the whitest person in Texas.

Stop talking like that.

Oh, no, she didn't.

Well, everybody, make yourself at home.

Hey, Brock.

Hey, Reba.

Aren't you gonna ask me why I have 20 Black people in my living room?

I noticed you had a lot of people.

I didn't notice the color of their skin.

There he is.

There's my little piece of white chocolate.

Oh, good, Barbra Jean, you did your hair.

And just in time for our formal dinner at the club.

- Oh, that's right. - Yeah.

I gotta get my bling-bling.

Keep it real, y'all.

Lates.

Oh, I totally know what you guys must be going through.

I have been through some really hard stuff myself.

First, I got pregnant in high school.

And on top of that, I got myself a drinking problem.

[sighs]

You know, but I guess every family has problems like that.

Okay, girls, take that into the other room,

and make sure that everyone has enough to eat.

And keep away from her.

This is so good.

- What is it? - Jambalaya.

[screams]

What?

Why would you do that?

I loved that dog.

Van, the dog's outside in the yard.

Then what dog is this?

We went to the store and bought some food and cooked it.

Oh.

Well, it's really good.

So you guys wore the same clothes for two weeks?

Yep.

That's awesome.

The most I've ever gone is three days.

That's when I was at my dad's.

You know, Reba, I want to thank you for everything,

but we're all goin' back to the shelter tonight,

including Darnell and I.

Oh.

Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

Oh, yeah, now that my family's back together, we gonna be fine.

Mom, can't they stay?

Well, honey, it'll be a little crowded if everybody stays.

But remember what you said about charity.

"Even though it's hard on us,

we always help those in need."

[chuckles]

Did I say that?

Yeah. Yesterday.

Yeah. Yeah.

I did say that. [laughs]

You can't remember to change your shirt for three days,

but you remembered that.

So, can they all stay?

Yeah, Grandma, can we?

You know, Jake, honey, your...

your mama's already done enough,

and who knows how long this might go on.

That doesn't matter, she does this all the time.

She took me in, and I've been here for four years.

So, Mom, can they stay?

- Please, please, please? - Please?

Please, with Jambalaya on top?

What am I gonna say? "No"?

Can I say no?

Of course, they can.

- Yeah. - This is gonna be great.

Hey, wouldn't it be fun if your family stayed here for four years?

[laughing]

Whoo, something smells good.

Hey, no cuttin'.

What are you talking about?

The line for breakfast forms right here.

[chuckles]

Honey, I don't have time to wait in line.

Oh, yeah, whitey jumps to the front.

Get over here.

Save my spot.

Look, I'm sorry, but I've been late for work

because I couldn't get in the bathroom because there was such a line.

And when I did get in,

all the towels were wet, so I couldn't take a shower.

Oh, that's a very sad story.

If it only had a dramatic ending like,

"And then I was pulled off the roof from my submerged home by a helicopter."

Yeah.

I'm not trying to be difficult.

It's just that I've been late for work for the last three mornings.

Oh.

That is a very sad story, Mrs. H.

If it only had a dramatic ending like,

"The next thing I knew, I was floating down Main Street in a laundry basket."

Knock it off, Van.

Oh, there you are, Reba.

I brought you a plate.

We were running out of sausage, I wanted you to have some.

Oh, man. That's my favorite.

Darnell!

Sorry.

You can have it, Mrs. Hart.

We're very grateful.

[chuckling] Yeah, well,

thanks, Ruby, but I'll just get a bagel on the way to work.

- Thanks. - Dibs.

- Hey. - Shut up, Darnell.

Ruby, this is so delicious.

You can practically taste the South and the Cajun influence.

What do you call 'em?

Eggos.

That is so cute.

Here we call 'em "waffles."

Okay, guys, if you need me, I'll be at the office.

I really gotta get going.

Oh, okay, you want me to call you a cab, or you gonna take the bus?

I was thinking about taking my car,

but is there a line for it too?

Yeah, kinda.

See, I lent it to Cassandra and Felicia.

They have to go downtown and file a claim with the government,

pick up a temporary cell phone,

and then on the way back,

I'm treating them to hair extensions.

Mom, it's very important for their self-esteem.

Hey, you should get some.

Shut up, Van, I have gorgeous hair.

Okay, the bus it is. I'm gonna be late for work again.

Oh, it's a very sad story.

If it only had a dramatic--

[Reba] Van!

I will pull your tongue out.

[groans]

Dog food is so gross.

I know.

It's like you cooked it.

Man, I need an aspirin.

I don't know what it is, but I've got a horrible headache.

[dogs barking]

[Reba] Get back! Get down!

Look, there's a cat!

Barbra Jean, how come I've got a whole house full of people,

and all you've got is just a yard full of dogs?

Well, I invited Ruby and her family to stay with me,

but they all said no.

All at once.

You know, Cheyenne, maybe you, me and the baby

- should stay over here for a little while. - [Cheyenne] Hmm.

What are you talking about?

Oh, you know, 'cause living at your house is hell.

It is not.

It is too, Mom.

There's way too many people.

I could never get to the bathroom.

I can never watch what I want on TV, and Van's been snoring.

You think this has been easy on me?

They're killing me at dominoes.

Well, I, for one, am disappointed.

I think you two should take a page from your mother's book

and learn how to be a good person.

I want 'em gone.

What?

I can't help it.

I've got people everywhere in my house,

and they're all thanking me.

And the whole time I'm thinking to myself,

"You're welcome, now get out."

I see.

Is it because we're Black?

Barbra Jean, you're white.

You're the whitest person in Holland.

You know, this charity thing is so much harder when you have to live it.

I mean, why can't I just write a check and go on about my business?

'Cause you don't have any money, Mom.

Just kick 'em out of the house, Mrs. H.

I can't do that.

Not after everything they've been through.

Well, then do something that'll make 'em want to leave.

Play that country music you like so much.

So you want me to kick those poor people out of my house

because we're not comfortable?

People?

Are we all really that shallow?

Some of us, yes.

Well, I can't do it.

Even though it's gonna make us miserable,

we're gonna help those people, and we're gonna be happy doin' it.

I agree with, Reba.

Oh, stick a sock in it, Snoop Dogg.

Don't be a hater, "Re-Bizzle," okay?

[vocalizing]

[door opens]

Hey, Ruby.

Oh, hey, Reba.

Wow, you forget how big this place is until you see it empty.

I know.

Sent everybody down to the park so the kids could play.

Oh, that was a nice idea.

Nice ain't got nothin' to do with it.

They were driving me nuts.

[laughs]

You know, Reba, ever since that hurricane, all I've heard is noise.

Every day, all day, just noise.

Do you know what that's like?

Have you met Barbra Jean?

Yeah, that whole, "new wife hangin' around all the time," situation,

is that a white thing, or are you just crazy?

I guess I'm just crazy.

Well, if you wasn't, you wouldn't have 18 strangers moving in on you.

So I thank God that all your screws aren't tight, Reba.

Hey, Ruby, we need to talk.

This is what you miss.

- What? - This picture of your family.

Now it might sound crazy, but it's not the house or the furniture

or all that big stuff that you miss.

It's the pictures.

That little old jewelry box that Darnell made me

out of tongue depressors.

[chuckles softly]

Well, that and my La-Z-Boy recliner.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Jake once made me a pot holder made out of paper towels.

Bet you saved it.

No, it burst into flames.

What'd you want to talk to me about, Reba?

Ah, nothing, I'm fine.

Reba,

you got 18 people living in your house,

and there's nothing you need to talk to me about?

Okay, I'm not fine.

I'm losing my mind.

I should be happy doin' this.

I should have joy in my heart, but I'm miserable.

Of course, you are.

Girl, if Uncle Tyrone leaves one more wet towel in a ball on the floor,

I'm gonna slap the black off him myself.

[laughs]

So it's okay that this isn't easy?

Reba.

Honey, we had a disaster.

Yeah.

Tends not to be easy.

- But I got something I need to tell you. - What?

And that's why I sent everybody down to the park.

We're leaving.

No. No. It's not that tough on us. You gotta stay.

Reba, my son called.

He's comin' tonight.

And we goin' back to New Orleans.

He's gonna work for that Habitat for Humanity.

We gonna rebuild our city.

So you're goin' back?

It's gonna be hard.

Well, it ain't no harder than living with a crazy white family.

[laughs]

You know, the problem with all this is there's no instruction manual.

- Really? - No.

Come here, Reba.

Read your Bible right there.

"I was hungry and you gave me something to eat."

"I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink."

"I was a stranger..."

"...And you invited me in."

Oh, Ruby, I'm gonna miss you.

I really am.

I'm gonna miss you too, Reba.

The blonde with the braids, not so much.

[laughs]

Here.

Here.

Here's a picture of your crazy white family to go in your new home.

[siren wailing in distance]

Well, I'm guessin' that your neighbors have noticed

there are 18 Black people down at the park.

- Gonna straighten that out. - [laughing]

Hey, Reba.

Barbra Jean, it's been three weeks.

When are you gonna get rid of those silly cornrows?

[scoffs]

Reba, I like how this looks.

I like what it says about me.

And, plus,

I can't.

I've tried and tried.

I think they're stuck.

I think I'm gonna have to shave my head.

All right.

I'll go out to the garage and get my Weed Whacker.

Don't.

[door opens]

Hey, Mom, we got a letter from Ruby.

Oh, ooh. Let's read it.

"Dear Reba, we're back in New Orleans

and working with Habitat for Humanity."

"It's so beautiful seeing hundreds of strangers pitching in

and building house after house."

"You should come down here."

"It's something to see."

"Plus, we miss you."

Reba, we should go down there.

I would really love to help out.

Oh, Barbra Jean, I don't think that's a good idea.

Well, why not?

I'm gonna say this as delicately as I can.

She didn't like you.

"But if you do come down,

please be sure to bring Barbra Jean with you."

See?

"I've told all these people about her, and no one believes me."

[closing theme music playing]

Acme! [coughing]