All language subtitles for Freaky Stories - 1x12 - School Daze_Legendas01.ENG

¶ [SPOOKY THEME
MUSIC THROUGHOUT] ¶

¶¶

MAURICE:
You are smart, Larry...

... really, really smart.

Aw, gee...

You have to do it.
You have to teach me...

... and make me
smart like you.

How coincidental.

This episode of Freaky
Stories is all about school.

[CHUCKLES]

You'll NEVER be
as smart as me!

Teach me.
Teach me whatever you can.

I'll learn. You'll see.
I'm a sponge.

You're a maggot.

Same thing. See?

[FART]

Come on... you be the teacher.

I'm your student.

Well alright. Why not?

Let's start by taking
attendance.

Maurice.

Maurice.

Why don't you answer
to your name?

If I don't answer,
you keep saying it.

And I like the way it sounds.

Anyway, I prefer to be
called by my middle name.

Moron!

Present.

This is not going to be easy.

Here's our first Freaky Story.

It's about someone else who's
not too bright.

8-YEAR OLD GIRL:
This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine...

Stephanie's class was on
a field trip

to the farmland
outside of town.

They were going to visit
the grape juice factory.

She was very happy.

Grape juice was Stephanie's
favourite drink of all!

She drank it every day.

With her breakfast,
lunch and supper.

And now she was going
to visit the factory!

She wore her favourite purple
dress for the occasion.

The school bus pulled up to
the door of the building

and the kids piled out.

Stephanie was so excited,

she thought that she
was going to burst!

A nice man from the
factory gave each kid

a safety helmet and plastic
safety goggles to wear.

Then the tour began!

They watched the trucks bring
the grapes in from the farm.

The grapes were
dumped into a big bin

where sprayers
sprayed water all over them

to wash them off.

Then they went up-up-up on
a conveyor belt

to the mixer where they
got all squished up.

The grapes... Not the kids.

Stephanie was a bit
disappointed by this.

She'd sort of imagined
that there'd be

people squishing the
grapes with their feet.

Just like she'd seen on TV.

But there was only a
machine at the factory.

It looked sort of like a
giant kitchen mixer.

It sure smelled good, though.

Stephanie took a
biiiiiiiig sniff.

She loved the smell
of grape juice.

Then they moved on to
the filter room.

The man from the
factory explained that

this was the place where
the grape skin, seeds

and stems are removed.

The grape juice splashed happily
along through glass tubes,

through the filter and
on to the next stop...

The cooking vat.

The nice man from
the factory led the kids

up a steep ladder to the top
of the cooking vat.

The vat was as big as a house.

The kids walked along a
creaky metal catwalk

high above the bubbling juice.

Stephanie stopped in the
middle of the catwalk

and let the other kids
continue on with the tour.

Her class climbed down the
ladder on the other side

of the catwalk and went
into the packaging room.

And then she was alone.

She'd catch up
to them in a 'sec'.

She just wanted to
savour the moment.

It smelled so grape --
I mean great!

Purple clouds of
grapey steam wafted up

past Stephanie's nose.

She shut her eyes
so she'd remember

this wonderful smell forever.

"This must be what heaven
smells like", she thought.

Then she heard a noise.

She'd thought she was alone...

But then Billy -

the mean boy in her class
crept back up the ladder.

Stephanie hated Billy!

He stood at the far end of
the catwalk, looking down

into the bubbling vat.

Then he took a deep breath
and shut his eyes.

"Maybe he likes grapejuice
too", thought Stephanie.

Maybe she'd misjudged him.

Then Billy opened his
eyes and looked around.

He didn't see her in the
darkness of the factory.

"What could he be doing?"
she wondered.

Billy made a noise - like he
was clearing his throat.

"No. " thought Stephanie.

He wouldn't... he couldn't!

He did...

Billy hoarked a huge green
'loogie' right into the vat.

Then he laughed and
scampered down the ladder

before he got caught.

Stephanie looked down and,

as the 'greener'
dissolved into her grapejuice,

a single tear rolled
down her cheek.

Hey it's a true story.

It happened to a friend of
a friend of mine.

And Stephanie?
She got over it.

And ya know? From that day on,
she's never-ever touched

another glass of grapejuice
again in her life.

Now, let's see...
what'll we teach you first.

How about... how to spell.

I already know that.

Oh?

Sure. This spell is to turn
you into a frog.

Hugga-mugga-mugga-hugga --

Ptew! Ptew! Ptew!

Don't spit on me!

If you're going to be a frog,
you'll need moisture.

Do I look like a frog?

Hmm...

While the embers of his feeble
brain rapidly turn to ashes,

here's a story...
about a story.

Hmm...

PROFESSOR:
This is a true story.

It happened to a friend
of a friend of mine,

an English professor, who's
heart was in the right place.

He watched one student,
Dave, practically salivate

over this girl, Zoe, who
sat in front of him.

And Zoe, the professor thought,

was kind of sweet on Dave.

Well, it was Spring, and the
professor was feeling romantic.

He teamed up Dave and Zoe
to write a tandem story.

One would start writing and
stop when the egg timer ran out,

then the other would pick
up where the first left off,

until time is up.

Okay? Computer fired up?

Time!

Dave went first. He figured
the way to Zoe's heart

was the way to any
girl's heart... ROMANCE.

So he started to write.

"Carrie was confused.

Was it eyes open
and mouth closed,

or mouth open and eyes closed?

It was the most romantic
moment of her young life,

her first meaningful kiss and

she didn't want to get
it wrong ..."

TIME!

Now, Zoe figured
Dave is a guy.

So to impress him, she'll
go with the kind of story

all guys like,
scarry and gory.

"...so he ripped
off his enemy's arm.

The blood dripped
on Lazlo's shoe.

But so what? He'd lick
it off later.

Right now, he was interested
in the flesh he was holding

in his hand..."

TIME!

...This is what she had been
waiting for.

Being there, alone on the
dock with her Dan.

He smiled at her and looked up
into the glittering sky.

There must have been
a million stars.

And when a shooting star
streaked across the diamonds

over their heads,
he thought..."

TIME!

"... he was hungry for a snack
before he delivered

the brain to the evil doctor.

He nibbled on a finger, spitting
out the cheap brass ring.

Then Lazlo looked
down into the grave

and an arm reached out..."

TIME!

"... and tenderly wrapped
around Carrie's soft shoulder.

Her heart pounded. He
wants me to be his girlfriend.

And when he said he never
felt this way before,

Carrie melted
into his arms... "

TIME!

"...and smothered the
life out of the body.

At first the eyes
bulged wildly.

But as the last breath
left the corpes and

the last drop of blood ran out,

the whole body drew rigid.

At that moment, Lazlo knew
he would need fresh

human organs to regenerate
his monster... "

TIME!

And make her the
happiest girl in the world.

Oh Carrie's heart
raced with excitement.

The thought of being with this
man who she loved so dearly

was exhilarating.

Her eyes sparkled
her face blushed.

TIME!

The professor glanced
over their shoulders.

Were they out of their minds?

He had to call
time and stop them.

But at that very moment,

the Dean summoned
him to his office.

So Zoe went on,

"...with the infusion of
the synthetic serum,

the monster's
grotesque body twitched.

It's green eyes
oozed the excess fluid.

It's mouth foamed as it
rose on it's haunches.

All six hairy legs... .

[BELL RINGS]

"... He loved every
fiber of Carrie's being.

And right there, under the
stars, he kissed her and

promised to be with her
forever. Nothing, he said... "

[BELL RINGS]

"... would ever force the
monster to turn on him.

But it did. In one swift move,
the jaws of the beast

severed Lazlo's head. "

Dave looked up from the
computer and shouted

"You're sick, Zoe! Sick!
Your mind is warped!"

"Your sappy story could make a
sugar plum fairy hurl!"

"You have a twisted mind!"

"You're swimming in
honey and maple syrup!"

"You're brain is
a mangled mess!"

"You should write with a
pink feather quill!"

"Will you go out with me?"

"I'd love to. "

And they leaped into
each others' arms.

This is a true story.

It happened to a friend
of a friend of mine.

An english professor who
gave up his teaching job

to run a very
profitable dating service.

Okay, let's try a
different subject...

How about Math?

First thing... count.

[DRACULA VOICE] How do you do.
Take off your scarf, my dear.

What a lovely neck you have.

Blah! Blah! Blah!

Not that kind of count!
Count! Count!

One-two-three-four.

Who the heck
are we rooting for.

Five-six-seven-eight.

What the heck
comes after eight?

That's it. School's
over. Get outta here.

But I didn't learn anything.

I did. I learned you can't
teach anyone whose got

no brains at all.

If you can't teach me,
it's you who is the failure.

Wait a minute...

See? You're all
talk. Big mouth.

Lotta noise.
Yadda-yadda-yadda...

Hey. I can teach you.
I will teach you.

Oh! I hate maggots.
[SIGHS]

NERD: This is a true story.

It happened to a friend of a
friend of mine.

His name's Norman, but he
called himself Slick,

but he wasn't really.

You see, Slick was
the wussiest wuss in

the freshman class at Hardy U.

But almost from birth, Slick
was brainwashed with

Spring Break movies, having
watched Animal House

seventy-two times.

So when Slick graduated
from high school,

Party Hardy was all he wanted.

He joined the fraternity
with the wildest rep,

BGX, Beta Gemme Chix.

He even thought the pledge
hazing was cool,

the highlight of which
was the panty raid.

Slick and three other dweeb
pledges got decked out

in commando gear and set out
for the sorority house,

with the hottest babes.

The four salivating
imcompetents scaled the

ivy covered walls and there
was a gaggle of sisters

in one room, doing toe
nails and hair do's.

The pledges gaped
through the window.

Wow! Girls in pajamas!

Slick spotted an empty room.

The window wasn't locked.

Slick slipped in and headed
for the dresser.

But then he heard,

"Gotta get some sleep before
that Psych quiz. "

And Slick dove under
the bed, just as

Jodi came into her room.

Slick didn't move.

He'd have to wait till
Jodi fell asleep

before he could grab
a pair of panties.

But it would take an awful lot
of patience because

Jodi was a super
A-plus student.

And even though she had the
psych book memorized,

she decided to
pull an all-nighter.

Jodi stayed awake and studied.

Slick stayed under the
bed and was dying.

It must have been
the corn dogs he ate.

Or the tortilla chips. Or
the Super Salty pretzels.

Whatever, it was
making Slick pretty thirsty.

But Jodi would have to
get up sometime to go

to the bathroom.

Gorgeous as she was,
she was still human.

Oh yeah?

By 4 A. M. , Slick thought the
inside of his mouth

was lined with sandpaper.

He had totally run out of
spit. He needed water.

He'd have to roll
out and surrender.

His dream lost for the need
of a bit of water. How tragic.

Fortunately, Slick was not
as nerdy as he looked.

Nobody could be that nerdy.

Slick remembered, when he was
peeping into Jodi's room,

there was a glass of water
on her night table.

While she was absorbed in her
books, ever so slowly

Slick's hand slid up
the side of Jodi's bed.

Jodi reached for a pencil,
almost, touching Slick's hand.

The pencil rolled
off the table.

And when Jodi reached down,
Slick put the pencil

into her hand.

Jodi was so into studying,
she never noticed.

So Slick, made
another try for the water.

And he got it.

Slow and easy, he took
the glass down

and had himself one big gulp.

It's times like this that
one tells God he will never

participate in a panty raid...

unless, of course, he gets
away with this one.

By morning, Slick
was still under the bed

and Jodi was still
memorizing every word of

every psych book ever written.

Finally, Jodi packed it in.

She swung her feet over
the side of the bed

and she screamed.

The other girls rushed in.

"MY contacts!" Jodi said.

"I put them in this glass
of cleansing fluid

on the night table... and
they're gone!"

This is a true story.

Happened to a friend of a
friend of mine. Norman.

And since that all-nighter, he
can really watch his diet.

Since his stomach is now
wearing contacts.

The subject is Geography.

Geo... what?

Do you know what this is?

Uh-Huh.

Okay... what is it?

Uh... . I don't know.

IT'S A GLOBE!!! A
map of the world!

The Earth! The
planet we live on!

How come I don't fall off?

Because you wallow
in disgusting,

gooey, sticky stuff.

Lucky me, huh?

Do you know anything
about geography?

Uh-huh.

Okay, where is...
oh, let's see --

New York City?

In the Northeast United
States, one hundred and eighty

miles southwest of Bridgeport
Connecticut,

twenty six miles east of
Newark, New Jersey,

latitude 41 degrees north,
longitude 72 degrees...

WHAT???

It just came out.

Prince Albert in...

Saskatchewan. North northeast
of Saskatoon,

On Qu'appelle River,
south of Waskesiu Lake.

Maurice, you are
a geography savant!

What did you call me?

Savant! A geography savant.

It means you know
everything there is to know

about geography, but about
everything else,

you're a complete,
brainless idiot.

Yup, that's me.
[LAUGHS]

KID: This is a true story.

It happened to a friend
of a friend of mine.

Wayne had a problem.
He was flunking biology.

And he really needed this
credit to graduate.

It was frog dissection day' -

the one 'science' thing
that he was good at...

Everything was going real good
until near the end of class

when Wayne took the frog
that he was dissecting

and stuck it on his
thumb like a puppet.

Then he turned to
Henrietta, the girl at

the next lab station.

He didn't really like her

but he was crazy about
Maryanne, her lab partner.

Maryanne was on the Swim
Team and she was very pretty.

He tapped
Henrietta's shoulder.

When she turned around, he
stuck his frog-thumb-puppet

right into her face.

She screamed so loud that
her retainer flew

out of her mouth and
right into the hole

in the frog that she and
Maryanne were dissecting.

Henrietta kept screaming.

Everyone was looking at them.

This wasn't working
out so well.

The teacher made him stay
after class and clean up.

He had to scrape each of
the carved up frogs

out of the dissecting trays
and into a rusty old bucket.

Guts and all.

Then he had to take the bucket
to the Custodian's Office

and dump it into a big bin.

So, he was in the hall near
the Custodian's Office

when he saw this big metal
bin sitting on

a trolley cart in the hallway.

Wayne figured that this must
be the place where he was

supposed to dump
the frog guts.

He lifted the lid and
poured the stuff into the bin.

Then he went to
his next class.

A couple of hours later
the bell rung.

It was lunch time.

Which was a good thing
because Wayne was hungry.

He went to the
cafeteria wondering what

the special of the
day would be.

It was a choice between the
french fries with gravy

and the meatloaf and
mashed potatoes with gravy.

Very popular item - gravy.

But when he got to the "caf",
something was going on.

The Swim Team was having a
fund-raiser to raise money

so they could go to the
regional finals.

A chili-sale. Cool.
Wayne liked chili.

It came with nachos.

Maryanne, from
Wayne's Biology class

was scooping the
chili into bowls

and handing it out to people.

She waved him up to
the front of the line.

"Hi. " said Maryanne.
Wayne said, "Hi. " back.

She asked him if he
wanted some chili.

He said "sure".

She scooped an extra-big
gob of chili into his bowl

and handed it to him.

"That was really funny, what
you did in class today... "

said Maryanne.

She gave him some nachos, too.

"Yeah. " said Wayne. He
was getting the feeling

that maybe she
kinda liked him.

She asked if she could eat
with him and he said "sure".

That's when Wayne realized that
something was kinda familiar...

He said, "I'll
be right back... "

He ran to the Custodian's
Office as fast as he could,

but the big metal bin and
trolley were gone.

He went back to the cafeteria
where Maryanne was waiting.

But, she hadn't
waited for him.

She was just about finished
eating her bowl of chili.

Wayne sat down and he made
his most serious face.

Maryanne was smiling at him.
Wayne had a problem.

He could fess up and
admit that he'd dumped

a big rusty bucket
full of frog guts into

the Swim-Team's fund-raising
chili and Maryanne

would hate him forever.

And he'd get kicked out of
school and not graduate.

And the Swim Team would pound
the living snot out of him...

Or...

He could keep his mouth shut.

No one would
know the difference.

And everything would be fine.

So Maryanne said, "Try the
chili. It's really good. "

And she smiled at him...

Hey. It's a true story.
It happened to

a friend of a friend
of mine...

And Wayne? He's no fool.
He ate the chili.

And ya know
what? It wasn't bad.

Kinda tasted like chicken.

I can't go on. My head's
tired and my belly's empty.

Listen.

[BELLY GROWLS]

The customer on Table Four
stepped on a glob of waffle.

And who can
resist squooshed waffle.

Hey. Table Four's in the
west side of the diner.

I know east from west. I'm a
geography genius, right?

But that way's west,
and that... way's the...

MAURICE: Aaaaarrggghhh!!!

[LOUD THUD]

... edge of the counter.

Maurice? Maurice?
Where are you?

I'm down under.

Aw... he's still playing
the geography game.

Hey Maurice, could you
be in... Australia?

MAURICE: I'm in Heaven.

How can you be in Heaven
if you're down under?

[LAUGHS]

I'm down under week
old chicken gizzards.

Mmmmmmm...
Heaven.

You gotta love the slob.