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1
00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:02,536
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:05,373
Max, what's a five-letter word
for "happy"?
3
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:09,277
And it's not my first wife,
Helen.
4
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,513
I was gonna suggest "drunk."
5
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,548
Maybe 'cause I am.
6
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,550
Hey, everybody!
7
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:21,455
Hey.
8
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:24,158
Guess what I have
under my coat.
9
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:27,561
And it's not ice cream sundaes
like last time.
10
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,565
It's my baby bump!
11
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,536
Aw, Sophie, you're showing!
12
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:38,472
And this time, it's not
either of your nipples.
13
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:41,342
Ah, look!
Only four months.
14
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:45,146
And I'm already
approaching Kardashian.
15
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,515
And that's quoting the doctor.
16
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,582
Impressive.
17
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:52,620
You may have a North, South,
East, and West in there.
18
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,523
The baby really kicks.
19
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,425
So it's either gonna be
a soccer player
20
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,561
or a Los Angeles policeman.
21
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,298
Hey, Han, what do you think
22
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:07,168
of my baby bump, baby bump,
baby bump?
23
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:10,538
In my country,
we never comment on two things:
24
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,674
women's pregnancies
or Kim Jong-un's haircut.
25
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,878
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
26
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,480
(cash register bell dings)
27
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:24,618
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
28
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,191
(upbeat music)
29
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,493
(bell dings)
30
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,628
One tuna malt.
31
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,866
That was a tuna melt.
32
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,304
Oh.
33
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,240
Max, here comes Han.
34
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,376
Now remember,
we have to be extra nice
35
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,778
so we can get his support
for our new dessert bar.
36
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,213
How can he support us?
37
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,882
He can barely support
his giant head.
38
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,317
See, that's
the kind of stuff
39
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,152
you're gonna have to
stay away from.
40
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,357
What's this about?
41
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:08,229
Last time you were smiling,
I almost lost an ear.
42
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:11,232
Well, my Hollywood money
has finally arrived,
43
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,167
and as you know, Han,
Max and I want to
44
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,936
convert the cupcake window
into a dessert bar.
45
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:21,175
And as you know, I want to
convert you two into waitresses.
46
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:23,644
Come on, Han, it won't affect
the diner at all.
47
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,513
All we want to do
is use the dish room--
48
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:29,650
home of two of the three
original strands of E. coli.
49
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,185
It's a no.
50
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,853
My therapist said
this had to be the year
51
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:36,857
of standing up for myself
and cutting out soda.
52
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,727
All right, well go ahead,
stand up.
53
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:45,333
But because I would like to see
you make someone else miserable,
54
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,668
I know a real estate agent
that could help you two
55
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,869
find a new space.
56
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:53,274
Did you say
"real estate Asian"?
57
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:56,344
Her name is Evie,
and I know her from my church.
58
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,946
And let's just say
she's been angling
59
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,715
for what I've got dangling.
60
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,755
Your keys?
61
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,991
She likes me, you shrews!
62
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,561
Okay, well that's what we get
for being nice.
63
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:14,962
So back to the dessert bar,
64
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,398
did you get the pictures I sent
you of those cool stools?
65
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,867
I saw the subject heading
was "cool stools,"
66
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,637
and I thought you finally
shattered our last boundary.
67
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,340
Here, give me your phone.
68
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,575
I can't find the stools.
69
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:28,642
(gasps)
70
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,843
Oh, my God!
71
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,479
I can't believe
what I'm seeing.
72
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,714
Is it that dog driving?
73
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,583
No, why do you still
have a picture
74
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,485
of your ex-boyfriend
on your phone?
75
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,953
You swiped on my phone?
76
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,889
What if I had something
embarrassing in there?
77
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,892
Like a tasteful hoo-ha shot?
78
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,595
Why do you still have a picture
of Randy on your phone?
79
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,998
The guy who broke up with you
in L.A. using a therapist?
80
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,734
This bespeaks
of an unresolved longing.
81
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,704
Be-stop be-talking right now.
82
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,840
I am gonna delete them, I just
haven't gotten around to it yet.
83
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,975
Like being nice to people.
84
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,714
Oh, my God,
this is too weird.
85
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,616
-What?
-It's Randy.
86
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:09,783
Does Max work here?
87
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,520
This smells like the place
she described.
88
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,823
That smell's how I find
my way to work every day.
89
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,529
What is he doing here?
I don't want to see him.
90
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,598
Then don't turn around,
'cause he's right behind you.
91
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,734
Max?
92
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,869
Hey.
93
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,773
Good to see you.
94
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,643
You're not gonna turn around?
95
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,512
No, I'm good.
96
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,382
You're not gonna turn around
for that guy?
97
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:44,284
I mean, I would turn around
for that guy.
98
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,788
See on the board
you have some specials.
99
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,958
I guess I'll have
the sloppy...job?
100
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:54,862
It's "joe."
101
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,531
Sometimes my "E"s
look like "B"s.
102
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,901
Clearly, I need to start writing
the specials on the board.
103
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:06,106
You know what,
just give me the meat...load?
104
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,910
That one, sadly,
is spelled right.
105
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,779
Randy,
what are you doing here?
106
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,947
Lawyer stuff.
I'm in town for the weekend.
107
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,949
My client, Tony Bennett,
is suing Lady Gaga
108
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,719
for making him uncool.
109
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,622
And I thought I'd come by
and see if Max wanted to see me.
110
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,925
I guess I also wouldn't mind
a cup of hot caca.
111
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,530
Max...
you're not gonna turn around?
112
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,867
Okay.
Guess I better go.
113
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,703
Well, bye.
114
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:36,837
Bye.
115
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,007
(stomping feet)
116
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,579
Damn it!
117
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:49,049
Fell for the ol'
Scooby Doo fake footsteps.
118
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,854
-How are you?
-I'm great.
119
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,122
Never been greater.
120
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,724
Max, I need someone
to clean up
121
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,892
the baby-changing station
in the ladies' room.
122
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:02,029
-We don't have one.
-We do now.
123
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,034
I guess I better let you
get back to work.
124
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,471
If you want to see me,
give me a call.
125
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,741
Tony has dinner
and goes to bed around 3:30.
126
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:16,644
*
127
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,480
Randy thinks he can just
show up with his face
128
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,483
and his body and his
muscular-but-not-too-thick neck
129
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,685
and think I'm gonna forget
that he dumped me?
130
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,420
Max, don't say "dumped."
131
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:29,089
Say "kicked to the curb."
It's kinder.
132
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:32,526
Oh, Max, we have an
unattended package situation.
133
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:36,497
Not unlike that homeless guy
we just passed on the stoop.
134
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,732
Wow, that's the biggest box
I've seen
135
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:42,870
since I accidentally clicked on
a "big, beautiful women" porn.
136
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,905
It stops being
an "accident"
137
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,640
when you wake me up
by yelling,
138
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,577
"Hey, check out this 'big,
beautiful women' porn!"
139
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,844
Well, this is exciting.
140
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,179
I haven't had
a surprise delivery
141
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,682
since that baby I felt
was just Chipolte.
142
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,187
Max, that never really
happened, right?
143
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,591
Whatever makes you sleep
sounder, sweetheart.
144
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,192
Never happened.
145
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,228
Oh, good God!
It's three kinds of popcorn!
146
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,764
And all kinds
of disappointment.
147
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,099
Crazy?
148
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,901
You've got your
standard butter,
149
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,069
you got your sweet,
sweet caramel,
150
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,006
and finally, the popcorn
that needs no introduction,
151
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,041
cheese!
152
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,844
Cheese-us, that's good.
153
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,212
It's from Randy.
154
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,881
"I know it's corny,
but I miss you.
155
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,216
Love, Randy."
156
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:32,753
Oh, great,
so he's a great writer too?
157
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,655
Why am I mad at him again?
158
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,524
All right, he obviously knows
your sweet spot
159
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,125
is the grocery aisle
at Rite Aid,
160
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,562
but I am not gonna let junk food
cloud your judgment again.
161
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,832
Like that time you donated blood
for a chocolate chip cookie.
162
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,968
Hey, I also got orange juice.
163
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,138
(knocking at door)
164
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,208
Hey, girls.
165
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:58,912
Max, this was delivered upstairs
for you.
166
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,714
Uh, sorry about
the bite marks,
167
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:04,051
but the baby a whiff
of the pimento loaf and said,
168
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:07,655
"Oh, I just got to have it."
169
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,657
"I know I was a jerky,
170
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,159
so let me say sorry
with salami."
171
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,027
What, does Randy have, like,
a team of writers
172
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,228
working on these things?
173
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,196
Randy?
174
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,733
You mean that hot guy
with the muscular neck?
175
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,735
Muscular, but not too thick.
176
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:23,003
Yeah!
177
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,005
He's trying to win you back
with salamis
178
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,274
and delicious biscotti?
179
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,610
There's no biscotti in here.
180
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,178
Oh, yeah, well...
181
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,247
the baby needed
something sweet.
182
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,616
(gasps)
183
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,650
Oh, my gosh.
184
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,619
The baby just kicked.
185
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:39,352
Oh!
186
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:42,656
Oh, that brings me
so much joy.
187
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:43,757
(gasps)
188
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,258
It did it again!
189
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,293
Oh!
190
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,227
My gosh.
191
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:51,565
Hey, I think it's following
the salami!
192
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,200
*
193
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,840
Thank you so much for showing us
the space today, Evie.
194
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,842
I'm sure Max will be here
any minute.
195
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,777
It's hard for her
to be on time.
196
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:07,047
Or sober for more
than an hour.
197
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,817
Well, the pros are the location
and the price.
198
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,319
And the cons are
the 11 people I'm guessing
199
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,822
have died in here.
200
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:18,592
It is a little small,
but people like small.
201
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:22,195
I know I do.
202
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:26,099
And I know I am very curious
about the natural light in here.
203
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,068
And I can make
anything pretty.
204
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,103
Just ask Suda Mahmoosh
from high school.
205
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:34,341
Everyone called her Bert
till I worked my tweezer magic.
206
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:37,077
Well, you have to act now,
because there are three other
207
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,647
very attractive offers
on the table.
208
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,783
And one wants
to take me on a cruise.
209
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,686
What did I tell you?
210
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:49,122
She's undressing me
with her eyes.
211
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,926
Well, I'm buttoning you
back up with mine.
212
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:53,927
(cell phone ringing)
213
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,729
Oh, I have to take this.
214
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:56,897
And Han?
215
00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,033
(speaking native language)
216
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,071
What did she say
to you in Korean?
217
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,906
'Cause she was
coming at you hard.
218
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,376
That she wants me
to come at her hard.
219
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,078
Well, what's the problem, Han?
220
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,013
I mean, she's cute
and she likes you,
221
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,715
and it's not your job
to ask why.
222
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,650
That's mine and Max's.
223
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:20,020
The problem is that she's
from a very conservative family,
224
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,956
and she wants to be a virgin
when she gets married.
225
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:26,293
A two-virgin marriage.
226
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,294
That's cute.
227
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,831
Or is it too matchy-matchy?
228
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:34,968
No, no, she wants
to have sex before marriage.
229
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,437
I'm confused--
she wants be a virgin,
230
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,741
but she wants to have sex?
231
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:43,076
Oh!
232
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,880
Like an "everything but"
situation.
233
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,415
So to speak.
234
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:52,953
She's found a loophole,
and it rhymes with loophole.
235
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,760
What?
236
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,162
Below the waist,
she's like a mullet--
237
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:05,298
business in the front,
party in the back.
238
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,270
-Still nothing?
-Yeah, I got it!
239
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:13,040
I just don't want
to talk about it.
240
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:16,443
This is a conversation
you need to have with a man.
241
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,212
And when Max gets here,
242
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,782
I'm sure she'll
make fun of you
243
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,216
and then tell you what to do.
244
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,919
I'm sorry, Caroline.
The space just got rented.
245
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,822
Spaces don't stay empty
for long around here.
246
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,058
Han, can you walk me to my car?
247
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:34,227
I need help putting something
in my trunk.
248
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:41,468
I'm right behind you!
249
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:44,337
I mean...
250
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,776
Where are Mickey
and Minnie Mouse going?
251
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,077
Max, where were you?
252
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,411
You're late,
we lost the space,
253
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,081
and I had to learn
that our real estate agent
254
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:57,851
wants to have sex with Han,
but remain a...
255
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:01,822
front virgin.
256
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,456
Please understand me.
257
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:07,527
Oh, she's working
the ol' loophole argument?
258
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,962
What, you never heard of that?
259
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,865
The girls at St. Bridget's
invented it.
260
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,934
I can't take any more of this!
261
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,970
That's what they said!
262
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,973
But then they did.
263
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,378
Shouldn't you be coming in
through the back door?
264
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:29,249
*
265
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,919
I got to say, Max,
I'm really surprised
266
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,486
you didn't cave in
and see Randy.
267
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:38,125
You're showing more backbone
than a supermodel.
268
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,127
Yup, I'm not gonna see Randy!
269
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,030
I'm not seeing Randy at all!
270
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,166
Okay, and they say
I'm the loud one.
271
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,402
Get out of here, Caroline!
272
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,839
Who I am talking to.
273
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,373
Uh, can you go outside
274
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:55,308
and bring me something
from outside?
275
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,110
-Like what?
-Oh, I don't know.
276
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,112
A souvenir
from Coney Island.
277
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:02,816
An old woman's hat
from Manhattan.
278
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,885
Okay, sure.
Outside stuff, got it.
279
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,187
Thanks.
Take your time.
280
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,423
What are you still
doing here?
281
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,860
You said you were just gonna
take as shower and leave.
282
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,327
I was waiting for
the water to get hot.
283
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,030
Took four hours!
284
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:19,132
You have to go before
Caroline gets back.
285
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,001
Wow, I haven't snuck out
of an apartment
286
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:24,371
since I helped my friend
escape Scientology.
287
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,374
Well, she's back.
And you two are busted.
288
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,541
I knew he was in here.
289
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,243
I saw his 12-pack in my phone
290
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,513
when I was taking
a couch selfie.
291
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,382
And you let him use my towel?
292
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:40,120
It's also my sheet/dress
for summer weddings.
293
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,321
Okay, you know what?
294
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,622
I'm gonna get out
of your dress
295
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,026
and give you two a minute.
296
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,461
I can't believe
you had sex with Randy.
297
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,897
More than just sex!
298
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,231
Stay out of this!
299
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,900
You said you were gonna
mull it over.
300
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,301
Weigh the pros and cons.
301
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,969
You know,
before you came here,
302
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,471
I used to date pros and cons.
303
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,874
I'm not used
to thinking about stuff
304
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,376
and making sound judgments.
305
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:07,480
I just found out last year there
are instructions on medicine.
306
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:10,283
Well, I'm sorry if I want
what's best for you.
307
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,985
Just throwing this
out there--
308
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,420
got a great job,
nice house,
309
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:17,657
full-fledged AAA member
since 1998.
310
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,093
Please, this is between
me and Max.
311
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,963
We have to figure out
what to do about you two.
312
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:27,100
Well, I-I like him, but I don't
want to get hurt again.
313
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:30,037
See?
Those are pros and cons.
314
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,105
This is exciting.
315
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,573
What's going on out there?
316
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,243
'Cause it kind of sounds like
I'm on trial.
317
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,245
You know what?
This is a big decision.
318
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,513
Maybe we should all
just sleep on it.
319
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,917
Isn't sleeping on it what got me
in trouble in the first place?
320
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:46,153
*
321
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,690
I thought of another pro
for Randy.
322
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:55,428
He looks like a man from
the front and from the back.
323
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:58,465
Very rare in these times.
324
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,500
Okay, I'll put it
on the list.
325
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:04,437
Oh, no, this is my list
of reasons to stay alive.
326
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,239
You should know
I'm down to one.
327
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,075
Oh.
328
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:11,544
Evie found a small place in
Brooklyn she wants you to see.
329
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,281
As for the small place
she wants me to see,
330
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,416
I haven't decided.
331
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,585
Caroline, let's get some
pros and cons going
332
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,121
for Han taking the A-train.
333
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:25,058
I mean, this is the closest
to a vagina that any of us
334
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,094
ever thought you'd be.
335
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,563
So if I decide to pass,
you won't think less of me?
336
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,366
Han, that would be impossible.
337
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:38,571
Hey, everybody.
338
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,508
You know, you get a seat
on the subway if you're pregnant
339
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,711
and willing to sit
on an old person's lap.
340
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:48,581
Sophie, what's a
seven-letter word for--oh, hell.
341
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,951
Three years is too long
to spend on one crossword.
342
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,522
According to my mom,
it's too long to spend
343
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,524
in third grade too.
344
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,592
Carol, come to my booth.
345
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,494
I think my baby's
gonna kick again.
346
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,330
Uh, Sophie,
we're kind of working.
347
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,465
Oh, you got a job?
348
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,103
Hey, there.
349
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,205
I'm, uh, here for Max.
350
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,174
Oh, and 14 across?
351
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,408
Papaya.
352
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:18,145
Damn!
I'm back in!
353
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,215
Randy, we actually haven't come
to a decision yet.
354
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,616
Well, I want my day in court.
355
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,486
Oh, you could have mine.
It's the third.
356
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,055
As you know,
I'm a lawyer.
357
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,023
And I usually don't practice
in a courtroom
358
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:33,026
that serves something
called pork chip.
359
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,627
But if I'm gonna be
on trial here,
360
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,663
-I'm gonna make my case.
-Okay, but let me just say--
361
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,298
Do you want the list
of pros and cons?
362
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,566
I got this.
363
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,434
I need to make sure
that I can trust you
364
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,270
with my best friend's heart
again.
365
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:47,640
Oh, my God, that was pure
Good Wife.
366
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,776
Max, go have a seat
in Sophie's booth.
367
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:54,181
That's fine, but I'm getting
some of that pork chip.
368
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,382
It's good, baby.
369
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,118
It comes with a side
of ass potatoes.
370
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,322
Randy.
371
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,425
You live in L.A.
Max lives in New York.
372
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,395
Did you or did you not
say you're bad
373
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,263
at long-distance relationships?
374
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,431
I did.
375
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,333
And did you
or did you not say
376
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,602
that you're just in town
for the weekend?
377
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,504
Well, I did say that--
378
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,106
Ma'am, do you
or do you not see me
379
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:23,276
conducting a mock trial
up in here?
380
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,146
Randy, did you
or did you not
381
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:30,550
break up with Max
using a therapist because...
382
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:34,687
you couldn't do it yourself?
383
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,857
-Well, I--
-Answer the question!
384
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,825
Yes.
385
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,595
Caroline, girl,
you are good.
386
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,564
Where were you
when I got arrested
387
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,735
for being black in Tacoma?
388
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:51,438
You're living in L.A.,
Max is living in New York,
389
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,705
and you're both living
in denial
390
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,674
if you think
a relationship can work.
391
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,810
May I approach the booth
and mount my defense?
392
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:03,716
You mounted the defense
three times yesterday.
393
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,519
Objection!
Kissing the witness!
394
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,821
What the hell
is going on out here?
395
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:12,859
They are putting that white
Billy Dee Williams on trial.
396
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:19,332
You're right,
I did hurt her.
397
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,335
Breaking up with her using
a therapist was a bad decision.
398
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:25,738
Breaking up with her at all
was a bad decision.
399
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,640
And why should she trust me
if I'm just gonna
400
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,642
blow into town for the weekend
and leave?
401
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,312
Well, for a lawyer,
you're not making
402
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,181
a great case for yourself.
403
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,348
Yeah.
404
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,617
I mean, if I were you,
I'd just
405
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,253
take my shirt off right now.
406
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,224
And the truth is...
407
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,758
I'm not here on business.
408
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,927
Tony Bennett isn't suing
Lady Gaga.
409
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,798
Although he should.
I'm just not involved.
410
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:56,769
I came to New York
for the weekend to see Max.
411
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,638
RANDY: And she's the reason
I'm gonna stay
412
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,640
in New York for a month
413
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,643
to see if we can make this work.
414
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,813
I think that should count
as two pros.
415
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,652
You're really gonna
stay here for me?
416
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,787
I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
417
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:19,192
I didn't even delete
your photos off my phone.
418
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,461
Well, that's pathetic.
419
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,831
*
420
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,900
So I think I found the perfect
space for your dessert bar.
421
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:30,270
It's got to be better than
the other holes you showed us.
422
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,272
Well, it's in the trendiest part
of Williamsburg,
423
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,508
cheap, and the landlord
is a really nice guy.
424
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,210
It's so close to the diner.
425
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,412
Won't it be weird
if we run into Han?
426
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,481
And not with a car?
427
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,483
Okay.
This is it.
428
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,385
Hello!
429
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,688
Oh, no,
I hate puppet shows.
430
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,524
Evie, this isn't available,
it's a cupcake shop.
431
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:54,427
Unless those two girls
finally gave up.
432
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,463
I've decided
to let you expand.
433
00:19:56,496 --> 00:20:01,368
Evie convinced me to do things
outside my comfort zone.
434
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,304
-Yes, I did.
-How 'bout that, Caroline?
435
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,907
We're not the only ones she
showed a dingy, dark hole to.
436
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,277
Get your minds out
of the gutter.
437
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,011
She took me to hot yoga.
438
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,581
He vomited two "oms" in.
439
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,449
But at least he tried.
440
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,551
So who knows what's next?
441
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,753
Well, I've never had lobster.
442
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,322
Han, are you sure about this?
443
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,357
You'll let us
build our dessert bar here?
444
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,627
I'm sure I'll regret it
almost immediately.
445
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,596
Han, I would hug you
right now,
446
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,599
but the cons outweigh the pros.
447
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,501
This is gonna be
the coolest bar!
448
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:37,404
We just have to get rid of that.
449
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,606
*
450
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,773
(cash register bell dings)
32732
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