All language subtitles for 2.Broke.Girls.S05E05.And.the.Escape.Room.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-CasStudio_track3_[eng]

[knocking on door]

Okay, that's Mookie for
the rent money.

I just found two fives
in the couch!

Which brings us to
5, 10, carry the one...

a new low.

Hello,
I'm Murray.

Did you order
curry in a hurry?

I don't know.
Is it paid for?

Yeah.

Then, yes, we did.

Max, you're awful.

We didn't pay for that.

It's Indian food.

We'll pay for it
in three hours.

Any samosas in there?

You want some naan?

'Cause whoever ordered it
ain't gettin' naan.

[knock on door]

Did you guys see Murray
with our curry in a hurry?

Nope, sorry.

(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

[cash register bell dings]

* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Just a heads up,
the samosas are a little dry

and also completely gone.

I need all
the energy I can get.

Sophie and I are doin' it
'round the clock.

She wants a baby so bad,

she even got an ovulation app
on her phone.

Sophie's phone has
a fertility app?

My phone's so old
it can't get pregnant.

Tells us when
she's most fertile.

Actually, a little
cartoon monkey tells us.

What's his name?

Overly curious George?

[monkey screeching]

Oleg, it's time.
See?

The monkey's got a boner.

I'm pretty sure
that's a banana.

It's yellow and he's holding it.
It's a boner.

Sophie,
don't get your hopes up.

We've had so much sex,

it's basically just
steam coming out now.

Oh, you found the food.
Good.

You mind if I use
your stomach as a tray

so I can eat while
we do it?

Do I ever mind?

I have to block out so much now
just to get through the day.

[knock on door]

Wow, we have
more visitors than

a mildly attractive prostitute
at Comic-Con.

(Mookie)
It's Mookie for the rent.

Okay, Max,
this time can you do

the blow-it-up hand
thing with him?

I've tried it, but I'm just not
good at hand stuff.

Ask anyone at Yale PREP.

Just give it a shot!

You also thought you couldn't
eat food that's been stepped on.

Look at you now.

Sup, ladies?
Sorry I'm late.

Some guy threw
a cat at me.

Who's gonna blow it up
for me?

I'm not allowed
to blow stuff up anymore.

My parole officer's rules,
not mine.

[imitates explosion noise]

I know that was bad.
I'm sorry.

Is there a class I can take?

I'll go get the last
of the rent money.

It's either in my bra pile,
or I don't have it.

Take your time.
We cool.

So, what kind of name is
"Mookie"?

Is it short for something?

Long for something?

Max, hurry up, girl.

Okay,
you should have $800

and here's the last of it.

Sweet.
Well, I gotta go.

I got a tennis lesson.

Caroline,
wanna try again?

[imitates explosion]

Make sure you get
the whole $825.

No funny business down there,
gangsta.

825?
The rent is 850.

No, always been 825.

What's going
on now?

Max, why do you tell me
the rent's 850 if it's 825?

Oh, yeah,
I'ma go ahead and--

good luck with that.

You've been
overcharging me rent?

It's not like that.

How is it not like that?

Okay, it's exactly like that.

Seriously, Max,
other than the rent,

what else have you not been
telling the truth about?

You probably didn't even see
Emma Stone at Costco.

And is Max Black
even your real name?

It's a real name.

Hey, in my defense,

you do have a bigger bedroom.

That's because I sleep
in the living room.

Can you just let this go?

So I took a little
off the top.

Everybody takes
a little off the top.

Look what God did to Han.

Don't drag me into the middle
of Pretty Little Liars.

I've got two ferrets at home
with the stomach flu,

and I don't need it.

Now everyone stop
what you're not doing.

I'm calling
an emergency staff meeting.

Is this the whole,

"Don't ice your junk
in the food sink" thing again?

No, I have a rule.

20 warnings,
then it's a dead issue.

This is about all of you.

We need to talk about
diner teamwork.

Oh, our teamwork's fine.

For example,
we're covering for Earl

while he chases
the ice cream man.

* Got me a Chaco Taco

Everybody, sit down.

Why?
So we can be eye level?

Good put-down,
Caroline.

See, Han?
Teamwork.

All right, listen
to our latest Yelp reviews.

Daryl B. says,

"Sat in booth an hour
before anyone talked to me.

"When someone did,

it was the waitress
asking me for water."

I was thirsty!

And Daryl B. was real slow
with that water.

You don't see me
Yelping about it.

I'll read one.

Caroline C. from here says,

"Max has been overcharging me
$25 a month for four years."

That sounds made up.

So tomorrow night,
I'm closing the diner,

and we're all working on
our team building skills.

So no one cares that

Max has been stealing
$25 a month from me?

That's correct.

[rock music]

*

Right this way.

What the hell is this place?

This looks like
the room I was kept in

when that trucker
borrowed me for three days.

Did you overcharge him too?

You'll all find out
where we are soon enough.

All part of the adventure,

and the mystery,
and the--

did I say adventure?

Oh no, this isn't
one of those escape rooms

where they lock you in a room

and you have to work
as a team to get out?

Welcome to the Escape Room,

where we lock you in a room,

and you have to work as
a team to get out.

And so it begins!

What?
Us beating the crap out of you?

Together, of course.

Now let me get this straight.

Y'all are volunteering to be
locked up in a tiny room?

See now, that's some
white people stuff right there.

It's a fun way
for us all to learn

how to work together
to solve a problem.

If the group of us could work
together to solve a problem,

you'd be back in Korea.

I'm in no rush to
get home to Sophie.

I mean,
I love her and she's a fox,

but baby-making is brutal.

I'm so tired of having
my legs up in the air.

How do you--
What do you--

How would that--
Let's just move past it.

Sign these waivers saying that

if anything happens to you,

it is entirely your fault.

Nobody's signing these waivers.
We're not idiots.

We're gonna read through
all the fine print.

(all)
Done.

Here you go.

Oh, well, I'm gonna
read mine anyway.

Caroline reads everything.

She read the entire iTunes
user agreement before she bought

Rihanna's
"Bitch Better Have My Money."

Wish I'd read the fine print
when I agreed

to be your roommate.

Turns out,
bitch do have my money.

Do I have to escape
from this too?

I mean, is this
part of the game?

Is this a bad time
to tell you

your horse masterminded
the whole thing?

Before we start,
I need to collect your phones

so you can't Google answers.

Don't look at my screensaver

unless you have
a strong stomach.

I've seen lots of phones.

It takes a lot to shock--
Aah!

Why are your legs up?

Ah, white light means it's a go.

Hey, hold up!
Aah!

Oh, one second.

You know,
I'm breathin' harder

than Paula Deen on
Dancing with the Stars.

Sophie?

How did you find me here?

I told you to take that

"Find My Husband" app
off your phone.

Yeah, well...
I didn't.

Yeah.
We're trying to make a baby.

Sophie,
you can't be here right now.

This is
a work team-building thing

and you're not part of the team.

Right, Han?
- She can stay.

She does as much
at the diner as the girls do.

Well, I gotta stay
close to Oleg.

You know, the monkey's
unpredictable.

You never know when
he's gonna demand intercourse.

Well, that's a fun wrinkle.

Okay, this is the whitest thing
I've ever seen,

and I've seen those shoes
that have toes.

(Earl)
Oh, hell no.

(Caroline)
I'm feeling angry, scared,
and both of Max's boobs.

(Max)
Is this our version
of make-up sex?

(Sophie)
I can't see a thing!

Here, let me use
my pepper spray flashlight.

Aw.
[pepper spray fizzes]

(Han)
Aah!

(Max)
Hey, I'm starting
to like this now.

(Sophie)
Hey! Look at all
those kooky light switches!

Let's try that!

Whoever this guy
is says,

"Choose correctly
or lost five minutes."

(Max)
Wow, you're no whoever
that guy is, Oleg.

(Han)
10, 20, 26 switches!
What other things are 26?

(Caroline)
Hmm, that's one more dollar than
Max has been stealing from me.

(Han)
How about something
a little more universal

and a lot less annoying?

(Oleg)
There are 26 letters in
the alphabet.

Thank you, Comrade Kangaroo.

(Caroline)
Okay, 26 letters.
Which one could represent light?

(Han)
Light starts with "L"!

(Sophie)
Oh, wow, he's good!

(Caroline)
Too easy. It's Einstein so
the answer must be scientific.

Wait, in Einstein's famous
formula E=mc2,

the speed of light is
represented by the letter "C."

A...B...C.

[gasping]

Oh, it's
Alice in Wonderland themed!

I'll be great at this.

It was always my favorite story.

Sophie and I only watch
the hard-core porno version.

Yeah, it was called
Alice in Underpants.

And our dentist was in it!

[in British accent]
That's enough

of all your chatter!

It's time to listen
to the Mad Hatter.

I think it's the same guy
as before.

Oh...
Wow.

He's a genius!

You filled this room
with illumination,

but you are not done
with this situation.

What rhymes with
"kick in the crotch"?

To proceed
and be done with me,

you must answer
these riddles three.

Y'all know I'm 80, right?

One: Take it out
of the package.

It goes in your mouth.

Chew it too long,
and it will go south.

It's what Earl's
doing right now.

Oh, Lord,
am I peeing?

No, he's chewing gum.

"Take it out of the package.
It goes in your mouth.

Chew it too long
and it'll go south." Gum.

Exactamente.

That wasn't too hard.

Put your answer onto this card.

Well done!

This Groupon has already paid
for itself.

Two:
Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big;

Michael J. Fox's is small;

the Pope has one
but doesn't use it;

Madonna doesn't
have one at all.

Dongs.
The answer is dongs.

C'mon, Oleg,
I mean nobody can say for sure

that Madonna
doesn't have one.

Dongs aren't the answer
to everything.

I used to think that.

You know where that got me?

Pennsylvania,
with no car.

Schwarzenegger's is big,
Fox's is small.

It's last names.
The Pope doesn't use his.

Madonna doesn't have one at all.
That's it!

Correctamundo.
[chuckles]

With your brain power,

you'll be out of here
in under an hour.

Well, thanks,
but if I was that smart,

I wouldn't have spent
the last four years

getting ripped off
by my roommate.

Oh, come on,
are you still on the money?

Oh, my God,
my sister lost both her thumbs

in a combine accident

and she didn't talk
about it this much.

Ah, here's $25.

Let's call it hush money,

so hush.

First of all,
this is $12,

and fine,

you won't hear
a peep out of me anymore.

Fine, I don't care
if we never get out.

[monkey screeching]

All right, FYI,

yeah, Oleg and I are gonna get
really Amsterdam-y up in here.

All right,
we gotta get the hell out.

Come on, Caroline.
Where's your sense of whimsy?

And don't say Max stole it,

because that's getting older
than Randy's accent.

Sorry, Randy, I knew you were
a safe person to slam.

Time moves forward.
It doesn't go back.

You've got 15 minutes.
It's 45 that you lack.

[scoffs]
Come on, guys.

We don't need Caroline
to solve these puzzles.

This is the same team
that was able

to figure out
the Wi-Fi password

to the women's shelter
next to the diner.

Who said this?

"If it was so,
it might be;

and if it were so,
it would be."

The fat twins?

'Cause that made no sense

and they look like
they get stoned a lot.

[monkey screeching]

Okay, Oleg,
drop your pants.

The monkey wants his banana.

Caroline,

if I have to see Oleg so much
as honk one of her boobs,

I'm gonna lose it.

I would help you,
and be your heaven-sent,

but you screwed me on the rent.

What is it gonna take
to make you get over this?

You haven't even apologized.

Okay.
I am sorry.

Are we good?

You know what?
No, we not good.

(all)
Aw, come on!

Fine, I'm the only one here
who knows this story,

and I'm the only one who knows
how to get out of here.

There, the rabbit hole,
Alice went down and so will I.

That's it.

This is a bigger bust
than Max's future.

Just like Alice,
I'm sick of being stuck

in this upside-down world

when your best friend
lies about the rent.

- No, you can't!
- Oh, yes, I can.

I bid you adieu.

No, seriously,
don't!

Ooh, I'm next!

I don't mean
to burst your bubble,

but your friend's in
a lot of trouble.

What I'm saying is:

that's not part of the room.
That's just for show.

You're not supposed
to jump in it.

I'm not next.

So that's not
a cute rabbit hole?

Rabbits?
No.

Couple of rats, though.

This place is
a deathtrap.

Caroline,
please tell me you're okay.

(Caroline)
I can't, because I'm not.

I'll use the emergency code
to get us out of here.

5...9...4...7.

[alarm buzzes]

Okay, I'm gonna be real honest
with you right now.

I don't know the codes.

(Caroline)
Help, there's something
moving down here!

I'm going in.

Sophie, give me
the pepper spray flashlight.

All right, yeah.

Hurry!
[pepper spray fizzes]

That really does sting.

[monkey screeching]

Okay, Oleg,
now it's time.

It's that beautiful moment

where you and I
are gonna make a baby

right in front of
your coworkers.

Can we have a little more class

and wait till
we get in the cab?

What?

We're gonna do it
on top of teacups.

That's pretty classy.

[grunts and moans]

What is happening?

You know what?

Spray some of
that stuff in your mind.

Max, look.

Oh, that's why his leg's
up in the air.

I've seen enough.
I'm out.

[shrieks]
Ow!

Ugh, I think I landed
on what was moving.

So that's dead now.

Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

Yeah, I think.
Are you?

Yeah.

Wait, you said
you weren't okay.

I meant emotionally.

I jumped into a floor hole
for feelings?

Well, my feelings
are really hurt, Max.

It's been four years.

Well, I don't know
what to do,

because like
the Sad Hatter said,

time goes forward;
it doesn't go back.

I can't undo the rent thing.

I just thought
we were in this together,

50/50.

We are,

and I should have told you
four years ago,

but I thought we wouldn't
last a month.

But then we did,
and then another month,

and I'm still not sure
how this happened:

we became best friends.

Max, that's the first time
you've ever called me

your best friend
without a bribe,

and that's worth
a lot more than money,

and you know how
much I love money.

Yeah, you almost ruined
our friendship over it.

All right, come on,
let's get out of here.

Ow!
Ow, ow, ow!

I'm not okay.

Searing pain,
searing pain.

Ugh, I think I twisted my ankle
when I jumped down here.

Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.

You're right.

Sometimes sorry
just doesn't cut it.

So how are we gonna get
you out of here?

If you want me to carry you,

you'll have to
take off your boobs.

Which way should we go?

My sense of direction led me
to being a waitress in Brooklyn.

You know what?
Let's go forward.

'Cause much like the time,
you can't go back.

Also, the moving thing
just came to and looks mad.

Go.

Max, I've never been this close
to your butt before,

and it's spectacular!

What's your secret?

I'm 27.

(Sophie and Oleg)
[moaning and grunting]

(Han)
I really shouldn't
be seeing this.

(Earl)
Can we please turn
the lights back off?

(Sophie)
Oh, God, help me!

Well, one good thing
about being down here:

Sophie and Oleg are up there.

Wait, why is the floor sagging?

[both screaming]

Oh, my God.

You know,
I'm pretty sure that fall

knocked the baby
right up into me.

Correction,
if I could turn the clock back,

I wouldn't go back four years.
I'd go back 30 seconds.

[rock music]

*