All language subtitles for 2.Broke.Girls.S05E03.And.the.Maybe.Baby.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-CasStudio_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,174
People, I have huge news!
2
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,676
Who's carrying
the rest of it in?
3
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,682
I found a way
to improve diner business,
4
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:19,453
and the crazy part is
I don't have to fire you two.
5
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,789
Are you gonna clean
that dead body smell
6
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:24,292
out of the ladies' room?
7
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:28,396
No, that's what
plug-in Glade is for.
8
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:31,099
Okay, remember how
that ice bucket challenge
9
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,500
caught on with celebrities?
10
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,269
Han, people did
those challenges for ALS,
11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,805
not to get publicity
for a diner that Yelp calls,
12
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,707
"A bit of a dice roll."
13
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:42,710
Well, I've invented
the condiment challenge.
14
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,812
Why, 'cause condoms
are a challenge
15
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,780
to you and other virgins?
16
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,286
Earl, you're on fire!
17
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,823
I'm gonna down ketchup
and mustard
18
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,159
and then nominate
Mr. George Clooney.
19
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,494
If you really want this thing
to go viral,
20
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:04,865
I happen to know that Clooney
likes him some spicy sriracha.
21
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,337
All I know is
that anal is hot.
22
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:16,210
His wife's name is Amal,
not anal.
23
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:19,079
I still stand by my statement.
24
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,714
Action!
25
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,684
Otherwise known as,
"Let's get this over with."
26
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,258
[garbled]
Mr. George--
27
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,766
Uh-oh!
I--hot!
28
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,734
Too hot!
29
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,375
I actually think
that could go viral.
30
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,510
Damn!
I hit the wrong thing.
31
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,780
Han!
Han, do over!
32
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,751
My insides are on fire!
[screams]
33
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,053
(Peter Bjorn and John)
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
34
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,589
[cash register bell dings]
35
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:06,927
* Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
36
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:14,568
I love Wednesdays.
37
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,570
I get to erase
all the genitalia
38
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,939
that was drawn
on the cupcake board.
39
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,510
And I love Thursdays
'cause I get to redraw them.
40
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,247
I need some more
paper towels.
41
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,450
Oh, I think they're downstairs.
42
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,352
[chuckles]
43
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,854
Max, you do fake stairs
so well.
44
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,189
I know.
45
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,292
It's the second best thing
I fake.
46
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,160
Hey, isn't that Andy?
47
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,395
My Andy?
48
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,165
Oh, God,
it is Candy Andy.
49
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,267
[bicycle bell rings]
50
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,436
He's coming over here.
51
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,173
Hey, Max.
Wow.
52
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:57,010
Your chalkboard
has really nice legs.
53
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,646
[chuckles]
Hi.
54
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:01,148
- Hey.
- I know, so silly.
55
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:04,184
It's just I'm not very good
at seeing my exes.
56
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,320
Yeah, or hiding.
57
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,357
How's the candy business?
58
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:13,394
Sour? Nutty?
Full of Nerds?
59
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,396
It's great.
Candy's not going anywhere,
60
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,465
like my grandma's knee fat.
61
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:18,866
So you guys still over
at the diner?
62
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,969
[scoffs]
We aren't still at the diner.
63
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,104
This is our cupcake window.
64
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,706
Uh, hello?
65
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:30,177
Your shift at the diner started
five minutes ago!
66
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:31,845
Okay, we're still
at the diner too.
67
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,881
We're here, we're there,
we're all over.
68
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,082
(both)
Like herpes?
69
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:36,417
- Nice.
- Yeah.
70
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,718
So what brings you over here
71
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,987
besides obviously stalking
your ex-girlfriend?
72
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,155
Actually, I'm looking
for a flower shop.
73
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,892
Oh, flowers for a girl
you never got over?
74
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,261
Uh, no, for my fiancГ©e.
75
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,330
Did he just say BeyoncГ©?
76
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:55,068
Actually,
I'm getting married.
77
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,237
Coo.
78
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,141
Caroline, I'm sorry.
79
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,576
I was gonna call you
and tell you,
80
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,312
but then I felt like
maybe you wouldn't care.
81
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,480
You know, I mean,
it's been a long time.
82
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,181
I hope you're not hurt.
83
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,584
Hurt?
I'm hurt.
84
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:14,588
Hurt that you didn't ask me
and Max to do your wedding cake!
85
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,757
Oh, God.
I'll be downstairs.
86
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:24,432
Well, yeah.
87
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:26,934
Actually, Romy and I haven't
decided on a cake yet.
88
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,002
You know, she's pretty busy.
She runs her own business.
89
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,139
Ohh!
Oh!
90
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,874
"The Business Bride."
91
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,109
Wasn't that Katherine Heigl's
last movie?
92
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,179
The one that brought her
back to TV?
93
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,814
Max, can you please
come back upstairs?
94
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,417
(Max)
I'm waiting for the elevator!
95
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,393
Is that Candy Andy?
96
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,527
Well, well.
97
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,363
You two getting back
together again?
98
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,465
- Oh, I'm getting married.
- To someone else.
99
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,634
Oh, Lord, this is why
I don't like to be outside.
100
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,238
Well, I gotta run.
101
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,740
Not really.
I'll be walking away.
102
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,342
But if you're serious
about the cake...
103
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,910
So serious.
104
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,513
Major ser-i-osity!
105
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,282
In fact, it's our
wedding gift to you.
106
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:16,517
- Oh, God.
- Max, stop.
107
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,719
There is no downstairs.
108
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:23,424
Yeah, it's not possible
to get any lower than this.
109
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,960
Okay, well...
110
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,896
how about I text you
after I talk to Romy?
111
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,297
It was great seeing you,
Caroline.
112
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:31,799
You too, Max.
113
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,368
You guys are gonna watch my butt
as I walk away, right?
114
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,004
You gonna make it clap
for daddy?
115
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,574
I cannot make it clap,
but I can make it go, "Whoo!"
116
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,947
Um, couple things.
117
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,516
One, he's still hot.
118
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:50,718
And two, are you insane?
119
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,754
You want us to do your
ex-boyfriend's wedding cake?
120
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,957
Max, I broke up with him.
Remember?
121
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,593
I'm a mature, evolved,
sophisticated,
122
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:03,096
sexy but not in your face
about it woman.
123
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,131
I can handle this.
124
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,999
I think it's a bad idea.
125
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:09,336
And I know bad ideas.
I was one.
126
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,572
I...
127
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:15,476
broke up...with him.
128
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,879
Dramatic...talking...
129
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,048
is...annoying.
130
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,120
How's it going there,
hot stuff?
131
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,056
Is your tongue working?
132
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,525
I'm gonna think
of another video to go viral
133
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,027
to set this place on fire,
and if not,
134
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,865
I'll eventually have to set
this place on fire.
135
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,867
Either way,
I'm not giving up.
136
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,603
You tell your clothes that?
'Cause they didn't get the memo.
137
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,507
Get this.
Andy says that he and Romy
138
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,509
would love to meet us
to talk about wedding cakes
139
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,511
at their loft in Manhattan.
140
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,546
[British accent]
Queen Romy has summoned us
141
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,916
to a cake tasting
at their loft!
142
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,522
Uh, can I borrow your phone
for a sec?
143
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,023
There.
I deleted his text.
144
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,091
I deleted his number.
145
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:07,528
I also deleted my number.
146
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,963
We aren't doing this.
You are not that cool.
147
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,298
Everyone knows that.
148
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,801
You're not.
Cool girls don't freak out
149
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,504
when you cop a feel
in the freezer.
150
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,339
Oh! Oh!
151
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,974
You know his number by heart.
152
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,743
This has nothing to do
with my heart.
153
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,878
It's business.
I broke up with him.
154
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,414
It's like you don't know
that I broke up with him.
155
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,450
I broke up with him.
Didn't know if you caught that
156
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,620
'cause my back was to you.
157
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,955
Hey, everybody!
158
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,395
Good news!
159
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,599
My baby was delivered today.
160
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,067
Oh, my God!
161
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,803
Did I black out
for nine months again?
162
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:54,708
The baby didn't come out
of my box, Earl.
163
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,111
It came out of this one.
164
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:02,349
Wow, you can really get
anything on Amazon.
165
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,151
It's called a "Maybe Baby."
166
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,920
While Oleg and I are trying
to get pregnant,
167
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:11,692
we're gonna use it to practice
for the real thing.
168
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,694
So you're having
a key-section?
169
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,569
Strangely, this is not
the weirdest birth
170
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:25,939
we've seen at the diner.
171
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,741
Do you like him?
172
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:31,745
Weren't you the baby
in "American Sniper"?
173
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,181
Yeah, it's got a computer inside
to keep track
174
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,749
of our parenting skills.
175
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,352
And if we get a score
of over 92,
176
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,488
we get 20% at Papa John's.
177
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,957
Any Papa John's!
178
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:49,162
Well, you're having a fake baby
for all the right reasons.
179
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,900
The baby's here?
180
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:57,004
Aww, you're a father.
Think fast!
181
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,572
Aww!
182
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,609
Our first father-son catch.
183
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,278
Let's get to know each other...
"Bob"?
184
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,448
All they had left
were the white babies.
185
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,853
The single actresses over 40
snap up all the minorities.
186
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,125
Hey, Max.
187
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:22,229
Could you maybe babysit
my Maybe Baby tomorrow?
188
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:26,634
You know, 'cause I-I really
need some me time.
189
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,168
Fine.
20 bucks an hour.
190
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,837
Extra in case he orders
some adult movies
191
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,172
I've been wanting to see.
192
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:35,575
Okay, Max,
wash your fancy sweatpants.
193
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,410
We are confirmed
for Andy and Romy's
194
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,546
wedding cake tasting
for tomorrow.
195
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,282
[gasps] Andy?
You mean that cute guy
196
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,218
that you ruined
your relationship with?
197
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,821
Sophie, it wasn't
the right relationship.
198
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,523
He didn't support my career.
199
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,325
The cupcake thing?
200
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,664
[bell rings]
201
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,573
Pickup!
202
00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:08,608
Like father like son.
203
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,653
Thank you guys so much
for coming.
204
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,088
These cakes look so lovely.
205
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,590
They are.
206
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:25,458
Really nice place
you got here.
207
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:29,296
I noticed there was a door
on the bathroom.
208
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,565
I don't want to brag, but check
out all the outlets we got.
209
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,168
Lot of power.
Two-prong, three-prong.
210
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,004
You got one of those weird
European plugs?
211
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,539
Bring it.
212
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,708
How funny is he?
213
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:44,444
Oh, the funniest.
214
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,780
Oh, God.
215
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,116
So, Romy, it looks like
you travel a lot.
216
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,417
I love all your...
217
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,920
[French accent]
Objet d'art.
218
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,422
Oh, God.
219
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,424
I'm a hat designer,
so I go to Malaysia
220
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,526
and Sri Lanka a lot
for materials.
221
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,863
I'm poor, so I go to McDonald's
and Taco Bell a lot
222
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,531
for my meals.
223
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,600
Oh, show 'em one of your hats,
Romes.
224
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:10,437
The purple one Pippa Middleton
wore in "Star" magazine.
225
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:13,640
Oh!
Pippa Middleton, wow.
226
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,608
She was up for a job
on "The Today Show,"
227
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,010
but she didn't get it.
228
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,183
Andy, they don't want
to see my hats.
229
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,952
Oh, Andy wants us
to see your hats.
230
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,120
Let's see your hats.
[giggles]
231
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,890
Oh, this guy was there
when no one believed in me,
232
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,658
and he supported me
in every way,
233
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,494
and now I'm in over a hundred
department stores worldwide.
234
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,164
Worldwide?
[forced laugh]
235
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:39,632
That is wide.
236
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,172
You know the tasting
is for them, right?
237
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,240
Come on, let 'em see
what you do.
238
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,076
Sorry, I'm a proud fiancГ©.
239
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:51,344
It's a little unmanly,
but it's m'thing.
240
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,046
Ooh, I'll go get Black Dahlia.
241
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,248
Max will like that one.
242
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,591
[coughs]
Oh!
243
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,625
You okay?
244
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,160
Absolutely.
245
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,296
We didn't work out,
you found someone great,
246
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:12,465
supported her business,
and now you're getting married.
247
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,936
Pretty sure he meant,
"Are you choking?"
248
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,938
Yup, that's where I was headed.
249
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,940
Caroline, you broke up with me.
250
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,641
She broke up with you?
251
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,411
I hadn't heard that.
252
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,280
See?
All bitter--better.
253
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,184
Max, do you want to try it on?
254
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,153
Ahem, she doesn't need a hat.
255
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,656
Romes said I could have
the sweet hat!
256
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,326
Oh, it looks adorable on her.
You should have it.
257
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,462
[chuckles]
What is this, a hat tasting now?
258
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,731
Well, it's not
a cupcake tasting anymore
259
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,499
'cause you ate them all.
260
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,436
You guys are hilarious.
I don't need to taste those.
261
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,471
You and Max are a part
of Andy's past,
262
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,540
and I would honored
if you'd do our cake
263
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,442
and come to the wedding
as our guests.
264
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,610
Oh, that is a great idea.
Hey, there will be a lot
265
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,612
of self-destructive
man-children there.
266
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,883
Max, feels like
your kind of party.
267
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,751
And it's on this awesome yacht.
268
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:07,855
You know,
technically it's not a yacht
269
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,323
unless it's over 40 feet.
270
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,192
Is it?
Okay.
271
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,328
Come on.
It'll be fun.
272
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:18,065
Gah!
I don't know.
273
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,732
And I'm not really into fun.
274
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,602
You know, I've had fun
and it's not that fun.
275
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:25,038
Got it.
What was I thinking?
276
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,739
Be weird for you, Caroline,
right?
277
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,441
Weird?
278
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,111
Weird if we didn't come!
279
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,213
Oh, God.
280
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,289
Look at this, Max.
281
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,858
Cupcakes and candy.
282
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,994
This could have been
me and Andy's cake.
283
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:50,363
Our perfect cake
for our perfect marriage.
284
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:54,534
No marriage is perfect...
except Ice-T and Coco.
285
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,169
Now, he's not perfect.
286
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,438
You broke up with him
for a reason.
287
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,407
Andy's out there now.
Come here.
288
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:01,708
[romantic music playing]
289
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,978
Music at a wedding?
How original.
290
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:06,513
Oh, there he is.
291
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,950
He looks so handsome
in a tuxedo.
292
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,920
Calm down.
So does Jane Lynch.
293
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,322
He's not perfect.
Look, there.
294
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,724
He's going in
for a nose pick.
295
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,560
No, just a scratch.
296
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:25,198
He has such nice hands.
Big hands.
297
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,968
And there's gonna be a ring
on it soon.
298
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,703
He's looking over here!
Oh, oh!
299
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,440
- He can't see me cry!
- Okay, come on.
300
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,674
Think of something bad
about him.
301
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,376
Think, think, think, think,
think.
302
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,513
Uh...he always took too long
to finish during sex!
303
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:44,451
Oh, wait.
That's a good thing.
304
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,720
It is?
All right, come on.
305
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,556
There had to be something
terribly wrong
306
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,690
with that relationship.
307
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,793
There was.
That I ended it.
308
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,264
I kicked the perfect guy for me
out of my life.
309
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,266
Yup, here come the tears.
310
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,867
And here comes Andy!
311
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:04,537
Uh, do you have a bathroom?
Oh!
312
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,173
[wedding guests applauding]
313
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,808
Hey! Thought I saw you guys
peeking out of here.
314
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,811
So you guys act weird
everywhere?
315
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,513
Yup, that's our signature.
316
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,583
Got us bounced out
of Six Flags.
317
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,418
Where's Caroline?
318
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,120
The pretty ladies' room.
319
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,221
(both)
Hmm.
320
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,056
So it looks like
you're getting married
321
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:24,992
to Not Caroline.
322
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,293
How's she doing?
323
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,295
I'm getting the feeling
this has been hard for her.
324
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,530
Temperature check.
325
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,399
Okay, I don't understand.
326
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:36,836
Are you asking me
to bend over?
327
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,805
What if Caroline thought
she might have made a mistake
328
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,340
by breaking up with you?
Would you consider being
329
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,409
a runaway groom and giving it
another shot with her?
330
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,843
Just a thought.
331
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,912
Well, I guess I'd have to say
it's too late.
332
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,548
I'm getting married to Romy.
I love her.
333
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,350
So that's a firm no?
334
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,124
Uh, Max.
335
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,160
All yours now.
336
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,297
How about we pretend
like none of this happened
337
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,733
and you guys come watch me
get married, okay?
338
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:10,037
Andy, wait.
339
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,272
I'm sorry.
340
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,242
I really am happy for you.
341
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,844
Go live your life.
I wish you well.
342
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:21,948
Thank you.
That means a lot to me.
343
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,384
Um...
344
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,387
I really did love you.
345
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,821
I know.
346
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,190
Even though you broke up
with me.
347
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,925
Yeah, even though I broke up
with you.
348
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:42,269
I did it.
I didn't cry.
349
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:44,704
Max, what's wrong?
350
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,778
[sobbing]
You could have had it all!
351
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,716
Max, I've never seen you cry.
352
00:16:56,816 --> 00:17:02,055
I'm sorry, but maybe he was
the perfect guy!
353
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:05,725
And he loved you!
You heard him!
354
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,129
Max, it's okay.
Nobody gets it all.
355
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,830
Max, turn around
and look at me.
356
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,333
No, I don't want you
to see me cry.
357
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:16,936
Max, turn around.
358
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,772
This hat doesn't even work!
359
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,779
Oh, hey, I was just looking
for the bathroom.
360
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,981
I wanted to get stoned
before Andy got hitched.
361
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,484
You got some love for me
and my friend here?
362
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,686
- We need it.
- Whoa.
363
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,388
They put candy
on Andy's wedding cake?
364
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,357
Brutal, dude.
365
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,092
Why is it brutal, dude?
366
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,361
'Cause of the bald spot
where I ate the gumdrops?
367
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:44,030
No, I mean with Andy's business
in the toilet.
368
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,366
Andy's business
is in the toilet?
369
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,968
Yeah, he had to close it down,
but it's cool.
370
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,338
Romy's, like, loaded now.
371
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,805
I can't believe Andy
didn't tell me
372
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,574
his business was in the toilet.
373
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,409
[knocks on door]
374
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,077
Oh, bummer.
375
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,079
Looks like I gotta do
this wedding thing sobes.
376
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,749
As long as it's not me, right?
377
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,854
That stoner,
who I can easily see
378
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:11,191
having very sloppy sex
with later,
379
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,994
just saved the day 'cause now
we know Andy lied to you.
380
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,897
And I wouldn't want to be with
someone who can't be honest.
381
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,032
See?
He is so not perfect.
382
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,669
You so would not
have had it all.
383
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,971
- Caroline.
- Andy?
384
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,707
I'm kind of in a hurry but I
think you should know something.
385
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,143
I lost my business.
386
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,044
I didn't want to tell you
because I was too proud.
387
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,447
I wanted you to think my life
was perfect, and it's not.
388
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,016
I mean, it's great,
but it's not perfect.
389
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,353
Okay, I gotta go get married.
See you out there.
390
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,394
All right,
so he's perfect.
391
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:50,096
I guess I'm not taking
this dress back
392
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,465
'cause we're swimming home.
393
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:53,833
We're not swimming.
394
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,135
We're gonna take
the "I hate my life" boat.
395
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,543
Um, big news.
396
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,646
Andy and Romy are in Mexico
for their honeymoon.
397
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,880
Weather forecast?
398
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:11,784
Cloudy with a chance
of diarrhea.
399
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,120
Um, can I borrow that
for a sec?
400
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,855
Oh, you're on her Instagram.
401
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,557
Cute.
Good-bye.
402
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,925
You unfollowed her?
403
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,227
Now it's gonna look
like I'm jealous
404
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,894
and can't handle
their happiness.
405
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,763
Ya can't!
406
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,533
Hey, everybody!
Look!
407
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,469
I got our report card back
from the Maybe Baby people!
408
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,304
We passed the test!
409
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:35,308
We're gonna be
solid "C" parents!
410
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,077
Well, that's a better grade
than the diner got.
411
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,213
I'm gonna miss
that little guy.
412
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,948
What I'm not gonna miss
is fighting it
413
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,050
to get to Sophie's boob.
414
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,887
Okay, people.
415
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,256
Are you leaving?
416
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,292
I hope it was something
I said.
417
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,794
Well, I have a video
that is sure to go viral.
418
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,230
I'm gonna stuff myself
in this suitcase
419
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,266
for the Williamsburg Diner
challenge.
420
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,067
Caroline, you film it this time.
421
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,602
Max, you zip me up.
422
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:06,873
And I thought I'd be
the first one to die here.
423
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,343
I, Han Lee,
nominate Mr. George Clooney
424
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,245
to the Williamsburg Diner
challenge
425
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,281
of packing yourself
in a suitcase.
426
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,950
I'm also a fan
of "The Men Who Stare At Goats."
427
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,620
Let 'er zip, Max!
428
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,324
Han...consider this
my birthday present.
429
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:29,596
I got my Papa John's
gift certificate.
430
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:33,032
Mama Sophie wants to buy
pizza for everyone!
431
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,435
Well, now is as good a time
as any.
432
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,306
(Han)
Hello?
433
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,642
Are you filming?
Hello?
434
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:46,646
Don't tell George Clooney!
435
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,282
Anyone?
Are you filming?
436
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:54,954
[cash register bell dings]
31119
