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1
00:00:00,801 --> 00:00:03,204
[Rock music]
2
00:00:03,237 --> 00:00:04,772
Girls, i need your attention.
3
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:08,276
You also need a booster seat
for most places.
4
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,312
No, I came out
to tell you some big news.
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,347
You also came out
when you wore that sweater
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,249
to work today.
7
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,752
John Mayer wore
this sweater in details.
8
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,655
Tonight, we are trying
family-style service.
9
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,533
I thought family-style service
was what I had to do
10
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,294
with my uncle.
11
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:29,463
Well, my family-style is
more "potluck"...
12
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:34,302
Heavy on the pot,
not so heavy on the luck.
13
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,305
Why would a family come here?
14
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:40,574
If I see a child in here,
I'm calling the police.
15
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:44,112
It's like seeing a dog
locked in a hot car.
16
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,814
Chicken cacciatore,
family-style.
17
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,350
Liver and onions,
family-style.
18
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,453
Spaghetti and meatballs,
my family-style,
19
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:55,123
which means the balls are
kinda small,
20
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:59,493
but the noodles are extra long.
21
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:02,330
You bring out the food
in large bowls
22
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,298
and the customers
serve themselves,
23
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:08,102
as they've been doing
since I hired you two.
24
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,603
Good idea, han.
25
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,605
The diner food
does belong in a big bowl...
26
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:15,143
The toilet bowl.
27
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:19,713
I don't know what
your uncle saw in you.
28
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,183
(peter bjorn and John)
* ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
29
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,384
[cash register bell dings]
30
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:28,489
* ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh *
31
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,728
Max, I just found something
32
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,564
very upsetting on my phone.
33
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,867
Another free U2 album?
34
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,469
Worse.
35
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,238
And worse than an e-vite
to a friend's improv show.
36
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,476
It's an e-mail
from the managing director
37
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,878
of all the high restaurants
saying he's seen our sales
38
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,381
and is disappointed
with my performance.
39
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:56,584
Duh-lete...
40
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,851
Like I do with all
41
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,620
the "disappointed
in your performance" texts
42
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,323
I get from guys after sex.
43
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,259
Sorry, gents!
My boobs make a promise
44
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:08,296
my bad back can't deliver.
45
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,365
Those bad sales numbers
are not our fault.
46
00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,301
Our unit's out at the airport.
47
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,544
Well, I'm not taking
ownership of this
48
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,470
because my unit is not
at the airport.
49
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:19,373
It's in my bed table drawer.
50
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:22,243
I'm the manager.
It's on me.
51
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:25,513
As is this tartar stain.
It just refuses to come out.
52
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:29,250
You'd think
it's parents were baptist.
53
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,584
[Bell rings]
54
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,453
Well, manager,
i need to get out of there
55
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,322
early tomorrow
to do Sophie's wedding cake,
56
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,758
and also because
you're annoying as a boss.
57
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,228
Hey, everybody!
58
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:47,768
Me, me, me, me,
me, me, me, me, me...
59
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:51,439
I love being a bride.
You don't even have to pretend
60
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:54,342
it's about anyone else.
61
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,410
Kinda like me, when I was rich.
62
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:59,547
Pretty much
every single day still.
63
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,216
Good news, bad news.
The good news is
64
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:07,888
the rash is
not spreading past my nuts.
65
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:11,292
And that's the good news.
66
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,494
Bad news...
The wedding donkey we booked
67
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,930
for the church service died.
68
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,267
I'll ask the obvious question.
69
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:23,304
Did it have anything
to do with the rash?
70
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,838
I mean, what are we gonna do?
71
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,540
It's not a traditional
Polish wedding
72
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:30,244
without an ass walking
down the aisle.
73
00:03:30,278 --> 00:03:33,681
I think Oleg's got that covered.
74
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,251
Girls, we need an ass,
you have a horse...
75
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,986
Same family, but not related,
76
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:43,524
like the Jolie-pitt kids.
77
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,859
No way.
Chestnut is my baby.
78
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,762
Well, the donkey was getting
a thousand bucks.
79
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,731
Baby's gotta work.
80
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,866
[Rock music]
81
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,868
Wow, business is slower
than the third season
82
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,339
of house of cards.
83
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,907
You know what's doing
great business?
84
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:03,744
It's my new grindr profile.
85
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:08,749
Changed my screen name
to "suction junction".
86
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,819
That damn cinnabon next door
is taking all our business.
87
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,887
What kind of low lives
would prefer those
88
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,524
to these fine desserts?
89
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:19,827
I found a secret pathway
to the cinnabon kitchen!
90
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,431
Move, bitch!
91
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,367
Really? You too?
I just don't get.
92
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:30,404
It's an acquired taste,
like crystal meth.
93
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:31,739
[Cell phone chimes]
94
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,873
Ugh.
95
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,809
Great. My waiter's
gonna be late again.
96
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,578
"Held up at the tsa line."
97
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,580
That's what I get
for hiring an airport waiter
98
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,782
named Mohammed machdinajihad.
99
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,620
Oh, look, Ronnie, a new place.
100
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,790
I see it, Bonnie,
I'm right next to you.
101
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,925
Didn't this used to be
the bar we got wasted in
102
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,427
before our flights?
103
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,928
I can't remember.
I was wasted.
104
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,464
[Both laugh]
105
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,698
Welcome to the high...
106
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,601
The finest
in high quality desserts.
107
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,903
We also have yogurts,
cappuccinos, lattes, coffee,
108
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,405
herb teas, or smart waters.
109
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,441
And did I mention
we're a boingo hotspot?
110
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,443
Take it down a notch.
111
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,954
You're selling it harder
than Anne hathaway
112
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,813
on the tonight show.
113
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,416
Oh, hi, I'm not here to buy,
just to look.
114
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:19,420
On a diet... Since 1998.
115
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,788
Oh dear lord,
those look amazing.
116
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,856
- Can I just smell a piece?
- Bonnie, don't.
117
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,092
It'll get you going,
and then halfway to Paris,
118
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,729
I'll find you in coach binging
on a bag of sun chips.
119
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,731
That's my favorite thing
about the job.
120
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,501
[Both laughing]
121
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,135
Oh, Paris reminds me.
122
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,904
I bought two first class
tickets to Paris...
123
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,906
On three credit cards
that will escalate 20%
124
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,641
over six years... anyway...
125
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,042
I really need to return them.
126
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,753
What's the window
on that with your airline?
127
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,079
A month... about the same
amount of time I have
128
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,450
until this fake smile
finally falls off my face.
129
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,084
Lady, we're flight attendants.
130
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,686
If that smile
falls off your face,
131
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,956
you're gonna have to
get a job at southwest.
132
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,667
Why are you returning them?
You don't like Paris?
133
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,127
J'adore Paris,
but long story short...
134
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,995
Uh, I'll make it short
because she's incapable
135
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,865
and will throw in lots more
of that fake French.
136
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,576
Bought the tickets
so that I could get to the gate
137
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,101
to see a guy I was banging.
138
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,703
I hear ya.
139
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,605
I once hid in the luggage
cart for 12 hours
140
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:12,940
to do it with this cute guy
141
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,408
who works at customs here.
142
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,910
Oh, right. Rick.
What's he doing now?
143
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,479
Me, every third Tuesday.
144
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,614
[Laughing]
145
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:22,783
Ahh, don't leave me
hanging, ladies.
146
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,485
Ah. If we hadn't
just read lean in
147
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:27,054
in our wine club...
I mean book club...
148
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,989
We'd be real jealous
of you gals.
149
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,425
We always had a dream
to open a shop at the airport.
150
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,702
Well, whatever it is,
just don't open
151
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,662
near a cinnabon
because failure smells
152
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,164
a hell of a lot like cinnamon.
153
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,632
(Female voice)
Final boarding call
154
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,734
for flight 24 to Paris.
Final boarding call.
155
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,103
Final boarding call?
We better hurry.
156
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,706
[Both laughing]
157
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:52,079
[Instrumental music]
158
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,851
Wow, everything looks
so much smaller in here
159
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,653
than I remembered it.
160
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,197
Like returning
to your old high school...
161
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:04,658
Or your old high school
boyfriend's penis.
162
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:07,828
Not mine.
I went to an urban high school.
163
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,064
What's that weird smell?
164
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,534
Probably that milk.
It's been in here so long,
165
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,937
its own photo was on the carton.
166
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:22,976
No, it's over here.
Really pungent.
167
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,778
Yes!
168
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:35,556
Mm...
I might owe you two some rent.
169
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,691
Unless you wanna settle in weed.
170
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:40,060
I always wanna settle in weed.
171
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,963
In fact, I plan to retire there.
172
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,765
Marijuana's in the closet?
173
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,735
This is more shocking than
Meredith Baxter-birney.
174
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,973
Look, I figured since you two
abandoned the cupcake shop,
175
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,875
this space was available.
176
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,844
Also, I stopped asking
permission for stuff
177
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,912
when I turned 70.
178
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,748
We did not abandon it.
179
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,716
We just haven't paid attention
to it in 3 months,
180
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,519
like me with any hair
above my mid-thigh.
181
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:06,687
Tell me about it.
182
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,088
When you bend over
in that skirt,
183
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,157
it looks like you're
giving birth to art Garfunkel.
184
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:18,532
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
185
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:21,068
Oh, good.
Earl, you're here.
186
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:26,574
Yes, I am.
Don't tell any of my ex-wives.
187
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,642
Earl, would you do me the honor
188
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:31,211
and walk me down the aisle
tomorrow night?
189
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,780
Sophie, sorry.
190
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,057
I didn't know
your father was dead.
191
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,618
Did he die upon meeting Oleg?
192
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,086
Oh, he's not dead,
193
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,990
but I'm not getting
upstaged by an iron lung.
194
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,694
Well, Earl, how could you say no
195
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,029
to such a heartfelt request?
196
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,798
I'd be honored, Sophie.
197
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,132
Like the wedding saying goes,
198
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,602
something old, something new,
199
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,636
something borrowed,
200
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,906
and someone black.
201
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,808
Oh, Caroline, look.
202
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,910
Here are the pink ribbons
for Chestnut.
203
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:06,013
Chestnut has to be
covered in girly ribbons?
204
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,948
I can't do that to my boy.
205
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,316
I'll throw in another 50.
206
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,585
I guess there's a reason
"horse" sounds
207
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,987
so much like "whore."
208
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:17,658
Now, we're all gonna leave
for the church at 6:00,
209
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,827
but I told Earl 4:00,
210
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:23,196
'cause, well...
You know.
211
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:32,105
- * mm-hm hm hmm
- what's happening over there?
212
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,807
Max, you're humming!
213
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,008
[Scoffs]
What?
214
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,944
[Laughs]
Please...
215
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,078
I am not a Hummer.
216
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,212
I mean, I'll drive in them,
217
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:43,216
I'll give them,
but I am not one.
218
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,918
[Continues humming]
219
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,755
Oh, my god, I am humming!
What's wrong with me?
220
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,090
What am I gonna do next, smile?
221
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,194
That's right!
Today's special promotion,
222
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,830
in and out in five minutes
or your dessert is half off.
223
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,032
Eat it, cinnabon.
224
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,635
Pear tart and a coffee.
Come on, I'm on a clock here.
225
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,171
Who had the damn pear tart
and a coffee?
226
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,239
Max, hurry!
Five minutes, in and out!
227
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,851
Yeah, the one thing
you don't have to explain
228
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:09,877
to me is "in and out."
229
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,945
I need help!
I never said I was fast.
230
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,356
All my high school
guidance counselors did,
231
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,982
but I did not.
232
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,249
I'll go get John off break
233
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,885
because my waiter
still isn't here.
234
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,095
This whole middle east situation
235
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,621
is just so inconvenient for me.
236
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,826
Okay, now we have
a real situation.
237
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,394
You hit someone.
Damn it, Max.
238
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,863
It's not about me.
It's Sophie.
239
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,131
Her gown arrived from Poland
240
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,067
and it's stuck
in customs out here.
241
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,736
(Sophie on phone)
My gown!
242
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,170
My beautiful gown!
243
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:40,674
[Screaming]
Oh, my god! My gown!
244
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,676
Wow.
She is really upset.
245
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,944
Really upset,
246
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,646
'cause this isn't
even on speaker.
247
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:51,018
Yes, it's awful,
but look on the bright side.
248
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,320
Our certain-to-be-hideous
bridesmaids dresses
249
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,955
are stuck in customs too.
250
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,157
No, those arrived.
251
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,259
Damn it!
First, it's the middle east,
252
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,360
now those dresses.
253
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,863
I cannot catch a break.
254
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,833
Wow, this place is packed.
255
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,434
Remember us?
Bonnie and Ronnie?
256
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,369
We knew you when.
257
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,370
Hey, wait, uh, Ronnie,
258
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,906
didn't you say that
you boned a guy in customs?
259
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,042
That was Bonnie.
I have standards...
260
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,477
And he didn't like me.
261
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,280
To be clear, I did have sex
with the customs guy,
262
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,414
but not in customs.
263
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,785
It was in one of
those family bathrooms.
264
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,453
Look, is there any way
you could help us
265
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,188
get a package out of customs?
266
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,791
Wait...
What bra am I wearing?
267
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,359
Oh, done!
268
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,460
[Both laugh]
269
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,164
John, we're leaving.
You're in charge.
270
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,966
Max!
We can't leave right now.
271
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,944
The wedding's not till tonight
and we're in the middle
272
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:43,036
of a store promotion
and we're losing.
273
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,138
You know I'm
gonna kill you, right?
274
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,840
I just have to figure out how.
275
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,217
Top contender
is hooking your necklace
276
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,310
on the front gate
and pushing up.
277
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,179
We'll stay as late as possible.
278
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,082
Just pick up Sophie's dress box
and hop on the subway.
279
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:59,953
Easy peasy.
280
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,230
(Male announcer)
Watch the closing doors, please.
281
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,956
[Struggling]
Ugh... oho...
282
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,793
Why is nothing easy peasy?
283
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:10,964
*
284
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:12,232
*
285
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,843
(male voice)
Watch the closing doors, please.
286
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,335
I am watching the doors!
287
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,504
It's hard not to.
They're about to eat my box.
288
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,039
[Laughing]
289
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,841
[Mocking laugh]
290
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,109
Yeah, real funny, sir.
291
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,277
A girl said, "eat my box."
Grow up.
292
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,850
[Whimper] Jeez!
How could a dress be this big?
293
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,853
This is just the veil.
294
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,063
I have to get something
out of my bag.
295
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,522
Hold this by yourself
for a second.
296
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,992
[Groans]
297
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,328
I can't find it.
Here, take this.
298
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,830
What is this?
299
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,231
A hundred dollars in change.
300
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,875
We need it for the wedding.
It's a Polish custom
301
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,267
to throw change at the bride.
302
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,870
Loose change?
Live animals?
303
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,140
Is this a wedding
or a cock fight?
304
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,407
Max, this is heavy!
305
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,109
What do you have
to get out of your bag?
306
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,545
- Something important.
- What is it?
307
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,914
The rest of my cinnabon.
308
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,582
Max, that's our competition!
309
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,918
The reason for our failure
is that piece of crap.
310
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,319
I mean, I ca...
311
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,456
Oh, my god, this is delicious!
312
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,260
No! Max,
he's got the money bag.
313
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,528
[Yelp]
[Scattering coins]
314
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:18,431
No...
No! No, no, no!
315
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,134
That is our Polish bride money!
316
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,435
Back off!
317
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,204
This is not the day
to the screw with me.
318
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,472
I'm at the business bottom
319
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,341
and I've had nothing
to lose since 2011.
320
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:33,246
[Screeching brakes]
[Loud clunk]
321
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,448
(Male voice)
Queen's Plaza.
322
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:39,419
Yup. That's what
would happen next.
323
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,422
[Rock music]
324
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:47,327
*
325
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,196
What's the hold up back there?
326
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,464
People are placing bets
that I'm halfway to Reno
327
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,334
with a hooker
and the wedding cash.
328
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,203
Relax.
After that subway,
329
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:59,039
Max and Caroline needed
some time to freshen up.
330
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,041
They came smelling
like that diner cheese
331
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:04,577
I tell you all is still good.
332
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,614
Hey, everybody!
333
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:10,550
We look just like Sophie!
I am so relieved.
334
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:14,287
I thought I'd be way overdressed
but I'm just under-boobed.
335
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,555
Yeah, we were in a hurry
336
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,557
or I would have loaned her
a cup of mine.
337
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,027
All right.
338
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,295
Oleg, stop looking
at us like that.
339
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:26,166
It's okay.
I'm marrying you.
340
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,969
You guys look
like the four tops.
341
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:32,139
Well, two tops and a bottom.
342
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,577
Oleg, Sophie doesn't
want you to see her.
343
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,180
Jump on Chestnut
and start down the aisle.
344
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,149
And Chestnut, I'm sorry, baby.
345
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:46,419
I know you never wanted
to do drag.
346
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,422
And, han, you're supposed
to take this
347
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,392
in case something happens
in the aisle.
348
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,029
This just went
from best man to worst job.
349
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:59,032
[Bombastic music]
350
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:07,066
*
351
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,911
* hey!
352
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,150
Hi.
353
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,685
What do you think, girls?
354
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:22,522
Do I look like a virgin?
355
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,291
[Horns sound]
356
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,660
I heard the tubas.
That's my cue! Go, girls. Go!
357
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,663
[Brassy folk music]
358
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:38,638
*
359
00:15:54,721 --> 00:16:02,662
*
360
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,269
Oh, god!
361
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,770
Her dress almost killed us
362
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,439
and now it killed Earl.
363
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,343
[Gasps]
Thanks.
364
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,478
I thought i was a goner.
365
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,050
[Organ music]
366
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,785
Time for the vows.
367
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:30,357
Bring the crowns!
368
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,093
And crowned is married...
369
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:37,630
[Drawn out]
With honor.
370
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,534
Ohhh...
371
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:45,205
Raise the crowns to their heads.
372
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,350
Better go.
This is as good as
373
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,453
it's gonna get without a ladder.
374
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:06,293
I, Sophie kachinsky...
375
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:15,302
Take you, Oleg golishevsky
376
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,670
to love and to Cherish,
377
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,407
to have and to hold,
378
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,176
never to leave your side
379
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:26,813
'til death comes to take me.
380
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:31,118
I, Oleg golishevsky,
381
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,553
take you, Sophie kachinsky,
382
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,688
to love and to Cherish,
383
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,158
to have and to hold,
384
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:39,559
never to leave your side
385
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,695
'til death comes to take me.
386
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:49,802
I pronounce you
husband and wife!
387
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,838
[Applause]
388
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,443
Max, now you throw the coins.
389
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,746
[Coins clunking faintly]
390
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,349
Long story.
391
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,587
Wow, girl,
your fingers work fast.
392
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,689
[Giggles]
Must be from years
393
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:12,725
of opening those 501
button-fly jeans...
394
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,661
Mine and others'.
395
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,863
Max, I'm done waiting.
I need that piece
396
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,431
of cake right now.
397
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,866
We just had a close call
in the air.
398
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,269
So close, we gave
the finger to the pilot
399
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,704
in the plane next to us.
400
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,273
We almost crashed,
and I didn't wanna
401
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,607
go down screaming,
402
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,909
"i should have
opened a daycare center!"
403
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,614
I usually go down screaming,
"you didn't buy me dinner!"
404
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,882
Bonnie, let's admit it.
405
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,617
We're never gonna
go for our dream,
406
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,487
just like we never went
to get those colonics.
407
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,355
If we really wanted
our own business,
408
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:45,625
we would have done it already,
like Max and Caroline did.
409
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,861
You're right, we did.
410
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,764
John,
cut these two the biggest piece
411
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,467
of coconut
macadamia nut cake we have.
412
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:57,637
Oh my god.
I think I just climaxed.
413
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,706
Well, then pull your panties on
414
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,709
and slink the hell out
like you usually do.
415
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,412
[Both laugh]
416
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,380
Caroline, I need to talk to you.
417
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,581
What are you doing?
418
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:11,684
Working!
I'm very sick.
419
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,754
Bonnie and Ronnie out there just
reminded me of something.
420
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,424
I mean, besides two aunts
drunk on vacation.
421
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:21,794
We have our own business.
The high isn't our failure.
422
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,830
We already have
our very own failure
423
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,333
called Max's homemade cupcakes.
424
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,676
And if we stay here,
we're building
425
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,437
someone else's dream, not ours.
426
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,538
Also, if we stay,
427
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,874
your ass will be
the size of a house.
428
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:38,545
I mean, when was the last time
you felt happy here?
429
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,813
Like 30 seconds ago
when you said this place
430
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,782
wasn't our failure
and I remembered I was holding
431
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:46,553
another one of these
in my other hand.
432
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,920
Let's get out of this airport.
433
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:51,358
We never have to see another
Nicholas sparks novel again.
434
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,692
First, we have to get rid
435
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,794
of those two plane tickets
to Paris.
436
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,964
Do we?
437
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,701
I mean, if we're gonna fail
438
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,337
we can still do that after
a week in Paris, right?
439
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,805
Right.
440
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,475
I'm so stoked!
I've never been in first class.
441
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,711
Except, Max, this is coach.
442
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:13,846
I got a refund on one ticket
and traded in the other
443
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,949
to buy two coach tickets
and to pay for a cheap hotel.
444
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,319
I'm so stoked.
I've never been in coach.
445
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,853
[Giggles]
And also so
446
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:21,854
we have money to spend.
447
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,857
We should be able
to do Paris for a week on $12.
448
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,660
Of course, we can.
449
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:30,797
What's the difference between
coach and first, anyway?
450
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,499
The champagne.
451
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,434
We'll be back
with the good crackers,
452
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,002
and I don't mean us.
453
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,937
[Both laugh]
454
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,941
Well, partner,
after all we've been
455
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,377
through this year,
whatever comes next,
456
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,279
I kinda feel ready for it.
457
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,948
(Bonnie)
Flight crew, prepare
for take-off.
458
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,652
[Humming]
459
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:55,288
Hey, now you're humming.
460
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,256
I am?
461
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:04,731
Hey, can I trade this in
for a beer?
32987
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