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1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:06,282
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
2
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:11,521
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
3
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:17,460
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
4
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:21,164
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
5
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:25,368
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
6
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:26,836
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
7
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,906
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
8
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:35,378
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
9
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:40,806
- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
10
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:49,993
-♪ SILENT NIGHT ♪
11
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:54,597
♪ HOLY NIGHT ♪
12
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:59,068
♪ ALL IS CALM ♪
- THAT CHRISTMAS OF 1968,
13
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,337
MY BROTHER, WAYNE, AND IFELL IN LOVE...
- ♪ ALL IS BRIGHT ♪
14
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,673
- WITH COLOR TV.
15
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:08,010
-♪ 'ROUND YON VIRGIN ♪
16
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,947
- IT WAS MORE THAN LOVE. IT WAS LUST.
- ♪ MOTHER AND CHILD ♪
17
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,416
-WE WERE WITNESSING
A MODERN MIRACLE,
18
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,218
AND WE WORSHIPPED ITLIKE ABORIGINES...
- ♪ HOLY INFANT ♪
19
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,220
- FROM THE
BLACK-AND-WHITE STONE AGE.
20
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,722
- ♪ SO TENDER AND MILD ♪
- IT WAS THE FIRST THINGWE'D EVER AGREED ON.
21
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,258
- COOL.
- BOSS.
22
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:26,062
- ♪ SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE ♪
- EVEN MOM AND KARENTENDED TO MIST UP
23
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,466
IN THE PRESENCE OF ALL
THAT ALMOST-LIVING COLOR.
24
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,735
- HELLO. CAN I HELP YOU?
- OH.
25
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,804
- ♪ SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE ♪
- YEAH, LOAD A DOZENOF THESE BABIES INTO THE CAR.
26
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,673
AND MAKE IT SNAPPY.
27
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,274
-WELL...
28
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:43,179
-UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WAS
ONE VERY SMALL, VERY MINOR HITCH.
29
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,148
-YOU'D REALLY HAVE
TO TALK TO MY HUSBAND.
30
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,582
-YOU GOT TO BE JOKING.
31
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,618
8 BUCKS FOR A CRUMMY,
LITTLE STICK LIKE THIS?
32
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:49,786
-A BUCK A FOOT.
33
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,254
-THAT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY.
34
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,222
-NOT THAT MY FATHER WAS SCROOGE.
35
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:55,992
IT'S JUST THAT, EVERY
YEAR AROUND THIS TIME,
36
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,528
HE'D... HE'D GO INTO
KIND OF A... SLUMP.
37
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,531
-NEXT YEAR, WE'RE
GONNA SKIP THE DAMN TREE.
38
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,366
-IT WAS A BAD TIME
TO BE HITTING HIM UP
39
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,367
FOR A MAJOR APPLIANCE.
40
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,836
STILL, IN AN EMERGENCY,
41
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,405
THERE WERE WAYS TO
THE BIG GUY'S HEART.
42
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,541
-HERE, LET ME HELP
YOU WITH THAT, DAD.
43
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,609
-YOU HAD TO KILL
HIM WITH KINDNESS,
44
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,445
DROWN HIM IN GOODWILL...
45
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,013
-HEY, I GOT IT!
46
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:21,351
- ALL THE WHILE, SENDING HIM
VERY SPECIFIC PSYCHIC MESSAGES.
47
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:25,922
-TV, TV, TV, TV, TV, TV.
48
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,691
-YOU OKAY?
49
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,993
- SURE. WHY?
- LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A HEADACHE.
50
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:33,163
-OF COURSE, YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO TIP YOUR HAND.
51
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:36,700
THIS WAS A DELICATE PROCEDURE
THAT REQUIRED THE TOUCH...
52
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:39,669
-SO, DAD, YOU GONNA BUY
US THAT COLOR TV OR NOT?
53
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,571
- OF A SLEDGEHAMMER.
54
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,006
-WHAT TV?
55
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,808
-HE DIDN'T TELL YOU?
56
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,810
-UH...
57
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,411
-WHAT DO WE NEED A COLOR TV FOR?
58
00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:50,613
-SO YOU CAN WATCH THINGS.
59
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,081
IN COLOR!
60
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,083
-WATCH WHAT?
61
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:54,450
- "BONANZA."
62
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:55,885
-BASEBALL...
63
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,320
FOOTBALL...
64
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,321
UH...
65
00:02:58,345 --> 00:02:59,755
BASEBALL.
66
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:02,692
-TVs COST MONEY, KIDS.
67
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,360
-UH-OH.
68
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,763
-AND MONEY DOESN'T GROW
ON TREES. YOU KNOW THAT.
69
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,531
-YEAH, WE DID KNOW THAT.
70
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,166
IF THERE WAS ONE THING WE KNEW,
71
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,868
IT WAS THAT MONEY
DOESN'T GROW ON TREES.
72
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:14,571
-COME ON, GET IN!
73
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,872
-STILL, HE HADN'T
SPECIFICALLY SAID NO,
74
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,808
SO THERE WAS STILL HOPE.
75
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,211
AFTER ALL, CHRISTMAS WAS A TIME
76
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,847
WHEN IMPOSSIBLE
DREAMS CAME TRUE...
77
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,815
WHEN THE GRINCH TURNED GOOD.
78
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,149
SO, JUST MAYBE...
79
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,386
-A BUCK A FOOT.
YOU BELIEVE THAT?
80
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,887
HIGHWAY ROBBERY.
81
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,611
-OR MAYBE NOT.
82
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,926
FEW THINGS IN LIFE
ARE LESS PRODUCTIVE
83
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:40,463
THAN THE LAST 10 MINUTES OF
SCHOOL BEFORE A MAJOR VACATION.
84
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:45,668
MAINTENANT, TOURNEZ à
PAGE 67, S'IL VOUS PLAîT.
85
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,559
ALORS, GUILLAUME?
86
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:55,311
-UH...
87
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:59,215
JE PENSE QUE...
88
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,617
UM...
89
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:03,185
LE...
90
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,491
-OH, WELL.
91
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,793
JOYEUX NOEL, EVERYONE.
92
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,634
-I MEAN ON AVERAGE.
93
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,336
-COUNTING SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR?
94
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,504
-TOTAL ANNUAL TONNAGE.
95
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,439
-SEE, WELL, I THOUGHT
WE WERE TALKING QUALITY,
96
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:24,540
NOT QUANTITY.
97
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:25,842
-OH, COME ON, PAUL.
98
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,877
I MEAN, YOU GET HANUKKAH
PRESENTS EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK.
99
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,612
-PAUL AND I HAD A
STANDING ARGUMENT
100
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,647
OVER WHO MADE OUT
BETTER ON THE HOLIDAYS.
101
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,849
PAUL'S LASTED EIGHT DAYS,
102
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,583
WHICH I THOUGHT
GAVE HIM THE EDGE.
103
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,519
-WELL, LET'S SEE. I'LL
GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.
104
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,855
WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU
REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
105
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,356
-WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH IT?
106
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,958
-JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.
107
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,926
-WHAT DID I WANT?
108
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,110
WHAT WOULD MAKE THINGS
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT?
109
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,622
-♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
110
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,937
♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
111
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:59,197
♪ AHH-AHH-AHH-AHH ♪
112
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,235
♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
113
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,752
♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
114
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,020
♪ AHH... ♪
115
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,059
-A TV.
116
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,560
I GUESS I WANT A COLOR TV.
117
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,694
-KEVIN?
118
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,930
-SHE WAS ALONE.
119
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,366
SHE WAS WEARING PERFUME.
120
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,367
-HI.
121
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,836
-HI. I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS.
122
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,138
-WHAT IS IT?
123
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,995
-IT'S A PRESENT.
124
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,843
-SURE. I KNEW THAT.
125
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,745
-I WANTED TO TEAR IT
OPEN WITH MY TEETH.
126
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,047
-BUT DON'T OPEN
IT TILL CHRISTMAS.
127
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,049
OKAY?
128
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:41,184
-OF COURSE NOT.
129
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,786
-A THOUSAND THOUGHTS WERE
BARRELING THROUGH MY HEAD,
130
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,289
A MILLION
QUESTIONS, A BILLION...
131
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,691
-WELL, SEE YA.
132
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,992
-WAIT. STOP HER! STOP HER!
133
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,261
-UH, I-I GOT SOMETHING
FOR YOU, TOO.
134
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:55,598
-GOOD. A LIE, BUT A-A GOOD LIE.
135
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,500
-I JUST...
136
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,768
DON'T HAVE IT WITH ME.
137
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,970
-OH, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
138
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,906
-MAYBE I CAN BRING
IT TO YOUR HOUSE?
139
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,109
-I GUESS SO.
140
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,677
-THEN I'LL SEE YA.
141
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,112
-IN A MATTER OF SECONDS,
142
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,480
MY WHOLE LIFE HAD BEEN
BENT INTO A QUESTION MARK.
143
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,549
WHAT DID THIS MEAN?
- HI.
144
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,985
WAS IT A MESSAGE?
145
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,253
ONE THING I WAS SURE OF...
146
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,623
WINNIE COOPER HAD
NEVER SMELLED BETTER.
147
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,890
-YOU'RE DREAMING.
148
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,760
-HUH?
149
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,861
YOU'RE NEVER GONNA
GET A COLOR TV.
150
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,363
-HAMMER.
151
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,865
-MAYBE PAUL WAS RIGHT.
152
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,900
THE GREAT COLOR-TV
CAMPAIGN WAS SPUTTERING.
153
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,202
DAD WAS A ROCK.
154
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,237
THE SITUATION WAS
GETTING DESPERATE.
155
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:36,873
SO WAS WAYNE.
156
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,542
-HONEY, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN
PEEKING IN THE CLOSETS, HAVE YOU?
157
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,877
-SCREWDRIVER.
158
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:45,215
- OH, LOOK, EVERYBODY, IT'S
THE LITTLE BIRD IN THE CAGE!
- AW!
159
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,549
REMEMBER, DADDY?
160
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,885
-UH-OH. HOLIDAY TRADITIONS.
161
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,153
MY FAMILY WAS HONEYCOMBEDWITH THEM.
- OH!
162
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,756
YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THIS TO US?
- UNCLE MIKE.
163
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,091
-YOUR UNCLE MIKE.
164
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,860
HE USED TO SAY
THAT IT REMINDED HIM
165
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,764
OF THE ONLY GIRL HE EVER LOVED.
166
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:02,432
-PLIERS.
167
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,567
-I HATED THOSE OLD STORIES.
168
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,236
THERE WAS A REASON.
169
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,771
-YOU KNOW WHAT I'M REMEMBERING?
170
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,072
-AND HERE IT CAME.
171
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,242
-THE YEAR KEVIN PLAYED
SANTA IN THE SCHOOL PAGEANT.
172
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,509
-UGH!
173
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,144
-MOM, LOOK, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO RIGHT NOW. IT'S...
174
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,913
-I KNOW, BUT YOU WERE SO CUTE,
175
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,382
THE WAY YOU CAME WADDLING IN,
176
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,950
JUST LIKE A BOWL FULL OF JELLY.
177
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,352
-YEAH, WITH HIS PANTS
ALMOST FALLING OFF.
178
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,921
-HAD THESE PEOPLE NO MERCY?
179
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,589
-HE WAS PRETTY CUTE.
180
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,491
-WAIT A MINUTE.
181
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:31,327
WAS THAT A SMILE ON
THE OLD MAN'S FACE?
182
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,263
AN ACTUAL SMILE?
183
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,465
WE'D CAUGHT HIM OFF
GUARD. NOW WAS OUR CHANCE.
184
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,767
WITH THE RIGHT COMBINATION
OF TACT AND FINESSE,
185
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:39,563
WE MIGHT JUST...
186
00:07:39,587 --> 00:07:42,371
-DAD, ARE YOU GONNA GET US
THAT NEW COLOR TV SET OR NOT?
187
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,639
-UNBELIEVABLE.
188
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,197
-WHAT TV?
189
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,611
-NOTHING, HONEY.
190
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,379
-WHAT TV?
191
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,215
-REALLY! NOTHING.
192
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,716
-MOM SAID THAT WE
WERE GONNA GET ONE.
193
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,384
DIDN'T YOU, MOM?
194
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,787
-OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING
CRITICAL HAD MALFUNCTIONED
195
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,355
IN WAYNE'S BRAIN.
196
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,491
-I DIDN'T SAY DEFINITELY.
197
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,727
I DID SAY THAT YOUR
FATHER AND I MIGHT...
198
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,284
-EVERYBODY ELSE HAS ONE.
199
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,973
FACT IS, I LIKE COLOR TV.
200
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:21,633
FACT IS, I BET I LIKE COLOR
TV AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY.
201
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,948
BUT LET ME ASK YOU THIS.
202
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,718
DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE ANY IDEA
203
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,662
HOW MUCH ONE OF
THOSE SETS COSTS?
204
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,280
-$469.95.
205
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,061
PLUS TAX.
206
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,364
MINUS THE DISCOUNT.
207
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,999
$434.40 TOTAL.
208
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,768
-LOOKING BACK,
209
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,304
HE PROBABLY MEANT THAT
QUESTION TO BE RHETORICAL.
210
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,738
-NICE GOING, BUTTHEAD!
211
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,607
-ME?! WHAT DID I DO?!
212
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:54,043
-NICE GOING, BUTTHEAD!
213
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,479
-OH, WELL... ONE MINUTE YOU'RE
EVERYBODY'S LITTLE SANTA.
214
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,347
THE NEXT MINUTE
YOU'RE BENEDICT ARNOLD.
215
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,648
-YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT TO LEARN.
216
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,451
DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY?
217
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,353
-THIS FROM A WOMAN
WHO'D READ THE CLIFF NOTES
218
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,188
FOR KAHLIL GIBRAN.
219
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,424
-I MEAN, YOU'RE BACKING
DAD INTO A CORNER.
220
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:12,462
HE WANTS TO BUY US A TV,
BUT HE WANTS TO SURPRISE US.
221
00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:14,418
IT'S COMPLEX.
222
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,470
-NICE GOING, BUTTHEAD!
223
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,429
-HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO STARTED ALL THIS.
224
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,477
-OKAY, I'D BLOWN IT.
225
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,312
THERE WAS DISSENSION
IN THE RANKS.
226
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:30,847
I COULD TAKE IT.
227
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:34,050
BUT OUT THERE,
DOWN THAT HALLWAY...
228
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,751
-I'M NOT BUYING A TV, NORMA.
229
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,554
WE CAN'T AFFORD IT
DESPITE WHAT YOU...
230
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,822
WHAT THEY THINK.
231
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,024
-WELL, I THINK WE OUGHT TO...
232
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,394
-IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T WORK
HARD FOR A LIVING, YOU KNOW.
233
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:45,394
I DO WHAT I CAN.
234
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,729
-HONEY, I KNOW.
235
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,733
IT'S JUST THAT, WHEN I
SAW IT THERE IN THE STORE...
236
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,969
THE TV... I SAW THE
KIDS LOOKING AT IT,
237
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:58,574
I SAW US HERE,
WATCHING IT, TOGETHER.
238
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,243
THEY'VE GROWN UP SO FAST, JACK.
239
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,635
KAREN'S ALMOST LEAVING US.
240
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:06,983
HONEY?
241
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,284
WHAT THE HECK?
242
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,786
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO FOR IT?
243
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:14,390
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET
ME ANYTHING THIS YEAR.
244
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,726
WE'LL... WE'LL EAT HOT
DOGS FOR A MONTH.
245
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,084
YOU KNOW IT WOULD
MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD.
246
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,405
I COULDN'T SLEEP.
247
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,673
I FELT CONFUSED.
248
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,708
WHY COULDN'T THINGS BE SIMPLE,
249
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,611
THE WAY THEY USED TO
BE, IN THE SIXTH GRADE?
250
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,479
-WAYNE?
251
00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:40,049
YOU AWAKE?
252
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,505
-ANGELA!
253
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:48,390
-IT WAS ALL A RIDDLE
INSIDE A RIDDLE INSIDE A...
254
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,125
A BOX.
255
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:53,029
AND I HAD TO FIND THE ANSWER.
256
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:57,254
BOY, CHRISTMAS WAS
TURNING INTO A MINEFIELD.
257
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,741
120 SHOPPING MINUTES
TILL CHRISTMAS.
258
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,176
IN MY FAMILY,
259
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,779
THAT'S WHEN THE SERIOUS
LAST-MINUTE PURCHASING BEGAN.
260
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,880
-WILL YOU STOP?!
261
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:16,018
-GEE, LOOK OVER THERE.
WONDER WHAT THOSE ARE.
262
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,088
WHY, THEY LOOK LIKE COLOR TVs.
263
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,723
-IF DAD WAS PLANNING A SURPRISE,
264
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,992
HE WAS SURE PLAYING
IT CLOSE TO THE VEST.
265
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,728
-CHRISTMAS?! HA! BAH HUMBUG!
266
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:28,231
-BUT I HAD PROBLEMS OF MY OWN.
267
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,899
I HAD TO FIND A
PRESENT FOR WINNIE.
268
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:31,467
IT HAD TO BE PERFECT.
269
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:35,004
IT HAD TO SAY EVERYTHING
WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING.
270
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,006
AND IT HAD TO BE
UNDER SIX BUCKS.
271
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,174
-HOW ABOUT A BOOK?
272
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,542
-HOW ABOUT ONE OF
THOSE PAPER WEIGHTS
273
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:43,512
WITH THE ICE SKATER INSIDE
AND THE SWIRLY SNOW?
274
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,615
-ARE YOU KIDDING? I HATE THOSE!
275
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,206
-WELL, MY MOTHER
LIKED THE ONE I GOT HER.
276
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,454
-SORRY.
277
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,622
-IT'S OKAY.
278
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,423
-COMPROMISE WAS
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
279
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:58,382
I HAD TO FIND THE
RIGHT GIFT OR DIE TRYING.
280
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,898
-I CAN'T TELL.
281
00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,967
-I THINK I'M DYING.
282
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:09,939
-IT SMELLS LIKE LEAVES
I-IN THE OCEAN, AT NIGHT.
283
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,529
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
284
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,312
-WHY DON'T WE JUST
PICK UP THE PHONE
285
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,080
AND ASK WINNIE WHAT IT'S CALLED?
286
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,248
-WE CAN'T.
287
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,617
-WHY NOT? WE CAN
DISGUISE OUR VOICES.
288
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,318
WE COULD BE AVON CALLING.
289
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:26,655
-PAUL COULD BE AMAZINGLY
DENSE WHEN IT CAME TO WOMEN.
290
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,225
FORTUNATELY, HE HAD
ME TO SET HIM STRAIGHT.
291
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,861
-IT'S GOT TO BE A SURPRISE.
THAT'S WHAT SHE'S EXPECTING.
292
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,463
-OH.
293
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:38,000
-SEE, THAT'S WHY SHE GAVE ME
THE PRESENT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
294
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,236
SHE WANTS ME TO
MAKE THE NEXT MOVE.
295
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,537
- OH.
- YEAH.
296
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,623
-♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
297
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,338
♪ DA-DA-DA ♪
298
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,242
♪ AHH-AHH-AHH ♪
299
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,709
-ONE QUESTION.
300
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,034
IF SHE ALREADY HAS
SOME, WHY GET HER MORE?
301
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:27,884
-OKAY, SO IT WASN'T
302
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:30,285
WHAT JAMES BOND
WOULD GIVE PUSSY GALORE.
303
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,824
007 WASN'T GETTING BY ON 50
CENTS A WEEK IN ALLOWANCE.
304
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:35,825
BESIDES...
305
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,159
-IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
306
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:40,050
-I HAD TO BELIEVE
THAT. I HAD NO CHOICE.
307
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,566
CHRISTMAS EVE.
308
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:46,435
IN HOMES ALL OVER
THE KNOWN UNIVERSE,
309
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:50,873
AN AGE-OLD CELEBRATION
WAS ABOUT TO UNFOLD.
310
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:55,944
A TIME OF JOY AND
HARMONY AND FAMILY.
311
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,149
-GEE, WOULD YOU
LOOK AT THAT CAR?
312
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,185
I WONDER WHAT COLOR IT IS.
313
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,555
OH, WAIT. THERE'S THE OCEAN.
314
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,291
YOU THINK IT'S ORANGE?
315
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,159
NAH, IT'S PROBABLY BLUE.
316
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,727
BUT HOW WOULD I KNOW?
317
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,929
-WAYNE! TURN IT DOWN.
318
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,832
-THAT NIGHT, ALL THE
SEAMS WERE SHOWING.
319
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,001
ONLY MOM WAS IN THERE PITCHING,
320
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:22,071
LIKE A LONE FIREMAN
AT A FIVE-ALARM BLAZE.
321
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,238
-EGGNOG, ANYONE?
322
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,540
LYDIA HERSCHMULLER JUST CALLED
323
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:28,777
TO REMIND US ABOUT THE
CAROLING PARTY TONIGHT.
324
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,680
I TOLD HER WE'D BE
THERE WITH BELLS ON.
325
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,251
-WAYNE! TURN IT DOWN!
326
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,787
-YOU HAD TO WONDER...
327
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:41,123
MAYBE EVERY FAMILY WAS GIVEN
ONLY SO MUCH CHRISTMAS CHEER
328
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:42,291
TO BEGIN WITH.
329
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,126
MAYBE THIS YEAR, MY
FAMILY HAD RUN OUT.
330
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,962
-WHOOPS! THAT GUY'S
EATING A GRAY BANANA.
331
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:50,065
-WE HAVE TO SING "LITTLE
DRUMMER BOY" TONIGHT.
332
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,135
-THIS WAS PATHETIC.
333
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,803
SOMEONE HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
334
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,928
-HEY, YOU REMEMBER THE YEAR I
PLAYED SANTA IN THE SCHOOL PLAY?
335
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,913
-WELL, I'D GIVEN
IT MY BEST SHOT.
336
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,214
NOTHING.
337
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,350
-IF WE PUT ON SUNGLASSES,
338
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,253
WE COULD WATCH THIS
IN BLACK-AND-GREEN!
339
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:13,122
-WAYNE HAD FINALLY
REACHED THE LIMIT.
340
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:16,825
-HOLD ON. I'M PICKING
UP SOME COLOR HERE.
341
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,528
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. IT'S...
342
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,864
-WAYNE! WILL YOU
JUST GIVE IT UP?
343
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:24,066
WE'RE NOT GETTING A TV!
344
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,735
JUST FORGET IT!
345
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,170
WELL, I GOT TO GO.
346
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,572
-WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
347
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:31,574
-I HAVE A DATE.
348
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,308
-ON CHRISTMAS EVE?
349
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,311
WHY NOT?
350
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:36,712
-WHAT YOUR FATHER MEANS...
351
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:40,315
-IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. WE SPEND
CHRISTMAS EVE TOGETHER.
352
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,351
I CAN SAY WHAT I MEAN.
353
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,821
-♪ JINGLE ALL THE WAY ♪
354
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,890
-I'M GOING OUT, DAD.
355
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,926
-NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE.
356
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,418
WE'RE ALL STAYING RIGHT HERE.
357
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,398
-I WASN'T SURE EXACTLY WHAT
TO EXPECT AT WINNIE COOPER'S.
358
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,933
BUT I HAD A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.
359
00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:36,772
-♪ I'M DREAMING ♪
360
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:41,944
♪ OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS ♪
- HI.
361
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,113
-HI.
362
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,383
- ♪ JUST LIKE THE ONES ♪
- I BROUGHT THIS FOR YOU.
363
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,585
-♪ I USED TO KNOW ♪
364
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,588
-THEN YOU GOT MY MESSAGE.
365
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:57,859
-♪ WHERE THE TREETOPS GLISTEN ♪
366
00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:04,032
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, SWEETHEART.
- ♪ AND CHILDREN LISTEN ♪
367
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,133
♪ TO HEAR... ♪
368
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,937
-YES?
369
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:11,674
-HOLY COW, I'D NEVER SEEN
THIS PERSON BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
370
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,076
-UH... IS WINNIE HOME?
371
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,877
-NO, SHE'S NOT.
372
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,246
CAN I HELP YOU?
373
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,248
-NO, THAT'S OKAY.
374
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,715
-YOU'RE THE BOY NEXT
DOOR, AREN'T YOU?
375
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:22,618
GWENDOLYN SAID YOU
MIGHT BE STOPPING BY.
376
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,086
-SHE DID?
377
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:27,323
-THE COOPERS DECIDED TO SPEND
THE HOLIDAYS WITH RELATIVES.
378
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,225
IT WAS A LAST-MINUTE DECISION.
379
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,460
SHE SEEMED TO THINK
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
380
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,161
-UNDERSTAND WHAT?
381
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,530
THAT NOTHING MADE SENSE?
382
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,965
THAT CHRISTMAS WAS A BUST?
383
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:38,600
THAT MY WHOLE FAMILY
WAS COMING APART AT THE...
384
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,837
-YOU... DO KNOW ABOUT
HER BROTHER, DON'T YOU?
385
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,893
BRIAN?
386
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:45,708
-OH.
387
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,177
-BRIAN WAS KILLED LAST FALL...
388
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,645
IN VIETNAM.
389
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:51,946
-I KNOW!
390
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:54,015
I-I KNOW THAT!
391
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,087
I GUESS I JUST... FORGOT.
392
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:03,125
-THEY NEEDED TIME AWAY.
THEY'LL BE BACK IN A FEW DAYS.
393
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,159
GOOD NIGHT.
394
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:07,629
-AT THAT MOMENT,
395
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:11,433
I FELT LIKE THE DUMBEST
HUMAN BEING ON EARTH.
396
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,999
-IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PERFUME.
397
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,902
-♪ IT'S COMIN' ON CHRISTMAS ♪
398
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,304
♪ THEY'RE CUTTIN' DOWN TREES ♪
399
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,073
♪ THEY'RE PUTTIN' UP REINDEER ♪
400
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:54,376
♪ AND SINGIN' SONGS
OF JOY AND PEACE ♪
401
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,546
♪ OH, I WISH I HAD A RIVER ♪
402
00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:02,039
♪ I COULD SKATE AWAY ON ♪
403
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,687
♪ BUT IT DON'T SNOW HERE ♪
404
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,822
♪ IT STAYS PRETTY GREEN ♪
405
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,525
♪ I'M GONNA MAKE
A LOT OF MONEY ♪
406
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,528
♪ THEN I'M GONNA QUIT
THIS CRAZY SCENE ♪
407
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,630
♪ I WISH I HAD A RIVER ♪
408
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:19,990
♪ I COULD SKATE AWAY ON ♪
409
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:25,607
♪ I WISH I HAD A RIVER SO LONG ♪
410
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:29,644
♪ I WOULD TEACH MY FEET TO FLY ♪
- THAT NIGHT, I THOUGHTABOUT A LOT OF THINGS...
411
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,580
ABOUT WINNIE...
412
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,415
ABOUT BRIAN...
413
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,551
ABOUT MY FAMILY...
414
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,887
- ♪ OH, I WISH I HAD A RIVER ♪
- ABOUT HOW THINGS GET LOSTOR MESSED UP.
415
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,956
-♪ I COULD SKATE AWAY ON ♪
416
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:45,393
-♪ SILENT NIGHT ♪
417
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:49,198
♪ HOLY NIGHT ♪
418
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:52,901
♪ ALL IS CALM ♪
419
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,605
♪ ALL IS BRIGHT ♪
420
00:19:56,629 --> 00:20:00,776
♪ 'ROUND YON VIRGIN ♪
421
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,780
♪ MOTHER AND CHILD ♪
422
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,283
♪ HOLY INFANT ♪
423
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:12,020
♪ SO TENDER AND MILD ♪
424
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,823
-NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE
WAS GONNA MAKE THIS RIGHT.
425
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:20,262
-♪ SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE ♪
426
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:25,734
♪ SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE ♪
- AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
427
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:33,008
IT STARTED...
428
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,111
TO POUR.
429
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:42,217
THE THING WAS, DAD
JUST STOOD THERE.
430
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,619
WE ALL WANTED TO RUN FOR COVER.
431
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:48,023
BUT DAD WAS JUST STANDING THERE.
432
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:51,048
SO WE JUST STOOD THERE WITH HIM.
433
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:11,268
COME ON. WHAT ARE WE WAITING
FOR? LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
434
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:17,819
-HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
ALL RIGHT, ALREADY. ALL RIGHT.
435
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:20,255
-I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I
GOT FOR CHRISTMAS THAT YEAR.
436
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:24,893
BUT DAD GAVE MOM A BRACELET
THAT KNOCKED HER SOCKS OFF.
437
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,430
OH, YEAH, AND HE DID
GET US THAT COLOR TV...
438
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,831
TWO YEARS LATER.
439
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,034
-OH, MAN, EAT 'EM OFF THE FLOOR.
440
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,041
-FOR ME, THAT YEAR,
441
00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:42,277
CHRISTMAS STOPPED BEING
ABOUT TINSEL AND WRAPPING PAPER
442
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,746
AND STARTED BEING ABOUT MEMORY.
443
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,748
AT FIRST, THAT
WAS DISAPPOINTING.
444
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,884
UNTIL I LEARNED
THAT MEMORY IS A WAY
445
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,020
OF HOLDING ON TO
THE THINGS YOU LOVE,
446
00:21:51,044 --> 00:21:55,190
THE THINGS YOU ARE, THE
THINGS YOU WISH TO NEVER LOSE.
447
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:56,791
AND I LEARNED FROM WINNIE
448
00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:59,328
THAT IN A WORLD THAT
CHANGES TOO FAST,
449
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:02,719
THE BEST WE CAN DO IS WISH
EACH OTHER MERRY CHRISTMAS...
450
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,559
AND GOOD LUCK.
32920
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