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1
00:00:09,769 --> 00:00:10,470
[yawns]
2
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:12,575
[crowing like a rooster]
3
00:00:12,642 --> 00:00:14,078
I really hope
you chumps are happy,
4
00:00:14,178 --> 00:00:16,216
'cause I had to open up
at 6:00 a.m. here.
5
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:17,217
Thank you, Moe.
6
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:18,620
And thank you, pro football,
7
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,194
for playing your worst games
every year in London.
8
00:00:22,261 --> 00:00:23,998
Yeah, the games start so early,
9
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,937
now we can spend Sunday morning
as God intended...
10
00:00:27,037 --> 00:00:29,308
not in church!
11
00:00:29,342 --> 00:00:32,047
And still drunk from last night.
12
00:00:32,114 --> 00:00:33,985
[British announcer]
Welcome back to Wembley Stadium
13
00:00:34,051 --> 00:00:35,454
where the score at the interval
14
00:00:35,554 --> 00:00:37,959
is Jacksonville Jaguars 25,
15
00:00:38,059 --> 00:00:40,196
Buffalo Williams nil.
16
00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:42,735
Oh, boy, I got 100 quid
on the Jag-u-ars,
17
00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:44,505
and I don't even know
how much that is.
18
00:00:44,605 --> 00:00:46,509
I'm Buffalo all the way.
19
00:00:46,609 --> 00:00:48,647
Ten bob, six shillings, baby.
20
00:00:48,747 --> 00:00:50,952
You know, I've dabbled
in a lot of anonymouses
21
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:51,954
but never gambling.
22
00:00:52,054 --> 00:00:54,125
I always thought
betting was for class acts,
23
00:00:54,225 --> 00:00:56,997
like, uh, James Bond
or Pete Rose
24
00:00:57,097 --> 00:00:58,399
or Secretariat.
25
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,270
Why don't you give it a try,
Moseph?
26
00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:02,975
Yeah, make one little bet
on the next game.
27
00:01:03,076 --> 00:01:04,211
Baltimore-Detroit.
28
00:01:04,278 --> 00:01:05,681
It's harmless fun.
29
00:01:05,747 --> 00:01:09,155
Uh, uh, all right,
I guess I could bet a buck.
30
00:01:09,221 --> 00:01:11,091
That's nothing
to get too worked up about.
31
00:01:11,191 --> 00:01:12,327
[Moe grunts]
32
00:01:12,394 --> 00:01:14,766
[Homer grunting]
33
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,469
[exasperated grunt]
34
00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,807
[Homer]
The walrus has his own money.
35
00:01:18,907 --> 00:01:21,446
[announcer] And we are underway
here in Baltimore,
36
00:01:21,546 --> 00:01:24,685
as the Ravens take on
the Detroit Lions.
37
00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:26,389
Beautiful day for football.
38
00:01:26,522 --> 00:01:28,125
...and Detroit scores!
39
00:01:28,225 --> 00:01:29,963
- [whoops]
- Baltimore ties it up!
40
00:01:30,029 --> 00:01:31,466
Detroit kick is good.
41
00:01:31,532 --> 00:01:32,969
Touchdown Baltimore!
42
00:01:33,036 --> 00:01:34,672
...and Detroit is coming back.
43
00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:36,709
Baltimore retakes the lead.
44
00:01:36,776 --> 00:01:40,016
Man, this game could go
either way.
45
00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:41,486
Detroit player injured.
46
00:01:41,553 --> 00:01:43,489
Baltimore just might
pull it out.
47
00:01:43,556 --> 00:01:45,126
Oh, my God, I'm gonna win!
48
00:01:45,193 --> 00:01:47,597
Turns out I was a winner
all my life.
49
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:49,635
[announcer]
Oh, but what's this?
50
00:01:49,702 --> 00:01:52,007
Detroit scores
a last-second safety
51
00:01:52,074 --> 00:01:54,545
and the Lions are victorious.
52
00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:57,919
De-who scores an un-what
and the wheres are wha-torious?
53
00:01:58,019 --> 00:01:59,688
Geez. Tough luck, Moe.
54
00:01:59,756 --> 00:02:00,490
You lost.
55
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:01,993
Damn you, Balty-more!
56
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:05,367
You crab-infested
Edgar Allan Poe-munchers!
57
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:06,569
[muttering]
58
00:02:06,636 --> 00:02:08,039
Uh, calm down, Moe.
59
00:02:08,072 --> 00:02:09,308
It was just a dollar.
60
00:02:09,441 --> 00:02:10,577
To you it was just a dollar!
61
00:02:10,644 --> 00:02:12,714
To me it was a whole simoleon!
All right?!
62
00:02:12,747 --> 00:02:14,118
Get the hell out of here!
All of youse!
63
00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:15,320
- Bar's closed!
- [yelping]
64
00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,859
- [Homer] We're leaving!
- You, too, Slumpo!
65
00:02:17,925 --> 00:02:19,963
Slumpo?
66
00:02:20,998 --> 00:02:22,167
[thunks]
67
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,303
[squishes]
68
00:02:23,403 --> 00:02:25,707
I don't like
the sound of that squish.
69
00:02:27,511 --> 00:02:29,949
Guys, I think Larry's...
70
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:32,287
...dead.
71
00:02:32,354 --> 00:02:35,327
[organ playing]
72
00:02:35,427 --> 00:02:36,930
I don't know
why we had to come here.
73
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:37,965
Funerals are stupid.
74
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,270
You're all excused
from coming to mine.
75
00:02:40,337 --> 00:02:42,307
Good. I had something
that day anyway.
76
00:02:42,407 --> 00:02:44,278
[quietly]
I didn't have anything that day.
77
00:02:44,345 --> 00:02:46,449
Homie, you have to pay
your respects.
78
00:02:46,582 --> 00:02:49,155
You spent more time with Larry
than your own kids.
79
00:02:49,221 --> 00:02:50,490
That's not true at all.
80
00:02:50,590 --> 00:02:52,795
Who's my best friend?
What's my favorite subject?
81
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:54,465
Who do I admire most
in the world?
82
00:02:54,531 --> 00:02:56,435
How old am I?
And what color's my bike?
83
00:02:56,502 --> 00:02:59,308
Pass. Pass. Crackle
from Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
84
00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:01,178
Pass. And trick question...
85
00:03:01,278 --> 00:03:03,683
you have a skateboard.
86
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:07,691
Huh. I'm strangely comforted
by the passes.
87
00:03:09,662 --> 00:03:12,133
[Marge]
Wow, light turnout.
88
00:03:14,605 --> 00:03:17,244
I'm so glad
you guys could make it.
89
00:03:17,311 --> 00:03:18,313
How could we not?
90
00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:20,050
Larry was... around.
91
00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:22,855
So we just throw some money
into this tip jar here?
92
00:03:22,922 --> 00:03:25,995
What's the right amount?
One? Five?
93
00:03:26,095 --> 00:03:26,997
One?
94
00:03:27,097 --> 00:03:28,333
This is gonna take a while.
95
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,336
Want to crash a few funerals?
96
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,975
Eh, I'm already wearing a dress.
97
00:03:33,777 --> 00:03:35,513
[Sea Captain]
So as you sail alone
98
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:37,885
'cross the wine-dark seas
of eternity,
99
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:41,392
you shall remain evermore
in our hearts.
100
00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:44,698
Yarr-I-P, my feathered friend.
101
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:48,975
You always said that you wanted
one of these, Polly.
102
00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:51,546
And now you have one.
103
00:03:51,646 --> 00:03:53,282
[all crying]
Arr!
104
00:03:53,349 --> 00:03:54,886
Arr! Arr!
105
00:03:54,953 --> 00:03:57,390
[chuckles]
Check me out, Lis!
106
00:03:57,491 --> 00:03:59,495
I'm bearing pall!
107
00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:02,034
Aunt Eunice,
you saw us through so much,
108
00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:03,503
triumph and sorrow,
109
00:04:03,569 --> 00:04:05,908
and it's a comfort to know
that you died at 92
110
00:04:06,009 --> 00:04:07,244
of natural causes.
111
00:04:07,311 --> 00:04:08,513
Natural causes?
112
00:04:08,613 --> 00:04:11,251
She clearly died
from the vaccine!
113
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,790
You shut up,
Robert F. Quimby Jr.!
114
00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:16,095
You're an embarrassment
to this family.
115
00:04:16,161 --> 00:04:17,932
And that's saying a lot!
116
00:04:17,999 --> 00:04:19,635
[playing organ]
117
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,372
Sorry I'm late. Uh...
118
00:04:21,439 --> 00:04:22,607
[quietly]
Who are we doing today?
119
00:04:22,674 --> 00:04:25,313
A sad, balding drunk
120
00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:28,119
- who hung out at Moe's.
- Got it.
121
00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:33,296
Homer Simpson was a beloved
pillar of this community.
122
00:04:33,396 --> 00:04:35,067
He thinks you died.
123
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,335
Do something.
124
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,173
Why? He's saying nice things.
125
00:04:38,273 --> 00:04:39,943
You never call me a pillar.
126
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:42,013
- [speaking indistinctly]
- He's not?
127
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,817
Are you sure?
128
00:04:46,655 --> 00:04:48,961
Uh... anyhoo,
129
00:04:48,994 --> 00:04:52,601
and now a few words
from Larry's mother,
130
00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:55,006
Iris Dalrymple.
131
00:04:56,342 --> 00:05:01,854
Well, my Lawrence always talked
about his best friends,
132
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,591
the fellows at Moe's Tavern.
133
00:05:04,658 --> 00:05:07,664
It would warm my heart
if they came up
134
00:05:07,731 --> 00:05:11,605
and shared fond memories
of my son.
135
00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:14,311
[quietly]
I'm not talking. You talk.
136
00:05:14,378 --> 00:05:15,714
- I didn't know him.
- No one did.
137
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:17,318
Your stool was closest.
138
00:05:18,086 --> 00:05:22,327
Perhaps one of you could talk
about Larry's love of fishing.
139
00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:24,397
Uh, uh, one time,
140
00:05:24,464 --> 00:05:26,602
we went
to this great fishing lake.
141
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:27,906
Lake Fish.
142
00:05:27,972 --> 00:05:30,911
Oh, yeah.
Fish Lake was full of...
143
00:05:32,147 --> 00:05:33,049
...fish.
144
00:05:33,149 --> 00:05:36,155
You know who always caught
the biggest fish?
145
00:05:36,222 --> 00:05:37,290
Who? Who?
146
00:05:37,357 --> 00:05:39,763
I-I, uh... I want to say Larry?
147
00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:41,198
[chuckles]
Big Fish Larry.
148
00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:42,734
Oh, yeah. Larry, indeed.
149
00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:44,205
[Lenny]
Watch out, fish!
150
00:05:44,272 --> 00:05:45,941
What a true story.
151
00:05:47,945 --> 00:05:50,583
- Oof.
- Why did you never take the time
152
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,454
to get to know this man?
153
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,757
Hey, at least we came, huh?
154
00:05:53,824 --> 00:05:55,693
Hey, Barney totally blew this
off.
155
00:05:55,761 --> 00:05:57,731
Said he had something
more important to do.
156
00:05:57,799 --> 00:06:00,003
Eh, selfish jerk.
157
00:06:00,136 --> 00:06:01,372
[creaking]
158
00:06:01,406 --> 00:06:03,642
[speaking Spanish]
159
00:06:08,186 --> 00:06:09,856
[cheering]
160
00:06:09,956 --> 00:06:10,991
[belches]
161
00:06:11,058 --> 00:06:14,866
Marge, Larry just didn't fit
into our band of bros.
162
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:17,036
The four of us
are closer than close.
163
00:06:17,136 --> 00:06:18,874
Yeah, we're like
the Sex and the City broads,
164
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,677
except, uh, super gross.
165
00:06:20,743 --> 00:06:23,449
Yeah, Larry just wasn't part
of our deal.
166
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,754
Because you never asked him
to be.
167
00:06:25,821 --> 00:06:29,528
All he ever wanted was
a simple human connection.
168
00:06:29,594 --> 00:06:34,371
But, instead,
he died unloved in a bar.
169
00:06:34,438 --> 00:06:35,640
[Homer moans softly]
170
00:06:35,707 --> 00:06:37,812
♪ Ah ♪
171
00:06:37,878 --> 00:06:41,986
♪ Look at all
the lonely barflies ♪
172
00:06:43,122 --> 00:06:44,625
♪ Ah ♪
173
00:06:44,691 --> 00:06:48,767
♪ Look at all
the lonely barflies ♪
174
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:53,409
♪ Larry the barfly
sat at a stool every night ♪
175
00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:55,714
♪ And he ordered a beer ♪
176
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,419
♪ Shedding a tear ♪
177
00:06:58,486 --> 00:06:59,956
♪ Look at him eating ♪
178
00:07:00,022 --> 00:07:01,860
♪ Checking his phone all alone ♪
179
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,464
♪ As he sits with his pain ♪
180
00:07:04,531 --> 00:07:07,271
♪ Chicken chow mein ♪
181
00:07:07,371 --> 00:07:09,809
♪ All the lonely Larrys ♪
182
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:13,851
♪ They all come to an end ♪
183
00:07:13,951 --> 00:07:16,890
♪ All the lonely Larrys ♪
184
00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:23,135
♪ Forgotten by their friends. ♪
185
00:07:23,236 --> 00:07:25,875
Is it possible
we're terrible people?
186
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:29,315
Yes, but the one
I'm really disappointed in is...
187
00:07:29,415 --> 00:07:31,252
- Lenny.
- What?
188
00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:35,560
You just always struck me as a
sensitive guy with a good heart.
189
00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:36,863
I did?
190
00:07:36,930 --> 00:07:39,869
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
gentlemen,
191
00:07:39,936 --> 00:07:42,942
but I found this
in my son's room.
192
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:47,651
It's all five of us.
193
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:51,725
Hey, it kind of looks like we're
in front of Serenity Falls.
194
00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:56,970
I know. We should all take
Larry's ashes there, together.
195
00:07:57,070 --> 00:08:00,777
- [Carl and Moe and Homer] Huh?
- It's the sensitive thing to do.
196
00:08:01,946 --> 00:08:04,953
[gasps]
That's a wonderful idea.
197
00:08:05,053 --> 00:08:06,622
I can't go to Serenity Falls.
198
00:08:06,722 --> 00:08:08,459
It sounds stressful!
199
00:08:08,526 --> 00:08:09,461
[Marge grunts]
200
00:08:09,528 --> 00:08:10,797
And I...
201
00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:12,367
love stress?
202
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:15,674
[Lenny]
The four amigos are on the road!
203
00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:17,811
Or should I say "five"?
204
00:08:17,878 --> 00:08:20,751
♪ All the lonely barflies ♪
205
00:08:20,818 --> 00:08:24,325
♪ Confronting mortal dread ♪
206
00:08:24,391 --> 00:08:27,731
♪ Their souls
in need of searching ♪
207
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:32,240
♪ They booze it up instead. ♪
208
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,156
See, Larry? We're not so bad.
209
00:08:40,223 --> 00:08:41,725
We're taking you
to your special place,
210
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,562
Serenity Falls.
211
00:08:43,629 --> 00:08:44,731
Let's get this over with.
212
00:08:44,799 --> 00:08:46,435
I got a big date with my girl.
213
00:08:46,535 --> 00:08:49,775
Naima's taking me to see
the reunited Kool & the Gang.
214
00:08:49,909 --> 00:08:52,013
Didn't she date one of the Gang?
215
00:08:52,113 --> 00:08:53,149
One of?
216
00:08:53,216 --> 00:08:54,819
She dated Kool.
217
00:08:54,886 --> 00:08:57,891
- Whoa! Kool!
- Wow! - Ooh.
218
00:08:58,994 --> 00:09:00,998
We spent a million hours
with this guy,
219
00:09:01,065 --> 00:09:02,936
but he never felt
like one of us.
220
00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:05,808
He was a drunk,
and we're just social drinkers
221
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,544
who also drink alone.
222
00:09:07,644 --> 00:09:08,646
Two different worlds.
223
00:09:08,746 --> 00:09:11,753
I just hope that if Larry knew
we were doing this,
224
00:09:11,786 --> 00:09:13,222
it would make him happy.
225
00:09:13,322 --> 00:09:15,227
[chuckles]
Yeah, as happy as Naima
226
00:09:15,327 --> 00:09:17,563
when she was dishing it out
to Kool, huh?
227
00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:19,735
- Would you shut up?!
- Sorry, sorry.
228
00:09:19,803 --> 00:09:21,439
Hey, let's listen
to some music, huh?
229
00:09:21,505 --> 00:09:23,409
Get your mind off of, uh...
230
00:09:23,476 --> 00:09:24,544
you know, things.
231
00:09:24,644 --> 00:09:26,081
♪ Get down on it ♪
232
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,819
♪ Get down on it... ♪
233
00:09:27,919 --> 00:09:29,421
[Carl groaning]
234
00:09:33,997 --> 00:09:35,801
Could you turn off the light?
235
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:37,972
And leave Larry all alone
in the dark?
236
00:09:38,039 --> 00:09:40,276
[chuckles]
Can you believe this guy?
237
00:09:40,343 --> 00:09:41,411
Larry's not here!
238
00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:42,414
He's dead!
239
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:43,817
His ghost is here.
240
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:44,819
Aw, come on, Lenny.
241
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,388
Ghosts ain't real, huh?
242
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:47,524
Yes, they are.
243
00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:50,596
I believe that Larry's ghost
is hovering above us,
244
00:09:50,663 --> 00:09:52,401
blowing out birthday candles,
245
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,773
helping figure skaters
land their jumps
246
00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:58,713
and cooling down hot soup
with his icy cold ghost finger.
247
00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:00,716
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
248
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,956
Everybody knows
that when you die,
249
00:10:03,056 --> 00:10:05,360
your soul becomes cosmic energy,
250
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:07,563
until your consciousness
is reborn
251
00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:10,938
as a creature that befits
your metaphysical station,
252
00:10:11,005 --> 00:10:12,407
be it mighty moose
253
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,277
or a proud paramecium.
254
00:10:14,377 --> 00:10:16,282
Shut your traps,
you deluded freaks.
255
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,019
Here's the deal...
when you croak,
256
00:10:18,086 --> 00:10:20,022
it's just a sad, silent void.
257
00:10:20,089 --> 00:10:22,360
Nothin'. And it's not even
a regular nothin'.
258
00:10:22,461 --> 00:10:24,264
It's an absence
of everything, huh?
259
00:10:24,331 --> 00:10:26,235
Where no matter
how hard you think,
260
00:10:26,302 --> 00:10:29,007
you can't imagine
how nothin' it is.
261
00:10:29,074 --> 00:10:31,344
Like that abandoned mall
where the JC Pennys
262
00:10:31,445 --> 00:10:32,781
is full of bears?
263
00:10:32,848 --> 00:10:33,784
No.
264
00:10:33,851 --> 00:10:35,253
[scoffs]
You're all wrong.
265
00:10:35,319 --> 00:10:37,859
Why have questions
when we have the Bible?
266
00:10:37,925 --> 00:10:39,896
I didn't serve
20 years to life in church
267
00:10:39,996 --> 00:10:42,902
not to cash in on
those frequent prayer miles.
268
00:10:43,002 --> 00:10:44,671
I can't wait till I die
269
00:10:44,737 --> 00:10:46,408
so I can slide in next to Larry
270
00:10:46,475 --> 00:10:49,614
and eat buffalo angel wings
for all eternity
271
00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:52,654
without a celery stick in sight.
272
00:10:52,755 --> 00:10:53,958
- Ghosts.
- Void.
273
00:10:54,058 --> 00:10:55,660
- Space moose.
- Wings.
274
00:10:55,761 --> 00:10:57,563
Don't listen to them,
ghost Larry.
275
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,308
Void!
276
00:11:04,277 --> 00:11:06,681
First pee of the day.
Let's make it count.
277
00:11:07,852 --> 00:11:10,222
[mutters indistinctly]
278
00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:14,230
[yelps]
Larry, get back in your jar.
279
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:17,036
What the hell is this?
280
00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:19,541
And this, and this.
281
00:11:19,608 --> 00:11:21,880
What parts of Larry were these?
282
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,317
[groans unhappily]
283
00:11:25,319 --> 00:11:26,355
[whistling]
284
00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:29,027
Hey, Homer, what you doing
down there?
285
00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:33,068
Sweet Tabasco Sally,
286
00:11:33,135 --> 00:11:35,506
is thems what I think thems is?
287
00:11:38,446 --> 00:11:39,548
Hmm.
288
00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:40,818
Sapphires.
289
00:11:40,885 --> 00:11:42,454
Larry's ashes were full of them.
290
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:43,422
What gives?
291
00:11:43,522 --> 00:11:45,160
Larry must have had
these Smurf-stones
292
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,932
crammed up his wazoo
when they crematized him.
293
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,000
[pops]
294
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:50,636
He must have been moving
stolen gems
295
00:11:50,736 --> 00:11:53,108
across the northern border
by stuffing them up
296
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:55,212
his southern pass.
[laughs]
297
00:11:55,312 --> 00:11:58,685
All I knows is Larry is dead,
and we are rich.
298
00:11:58,753 --> 00:11:59,688
Oh, my God, you're right.
299
00:11:59,756 --> 00:12:01,960
We gotta tell Lenny and Carl.
300
00:12:02,026 --> 00:12:02,995
Uh, uh, real quick sidebar.
301
00:12:03,095 --> 00:12:05,466
Um, do we really want to bother
302
00:12:05,566 --> 00:12:06,535
our gentlemen friends
303
00:12:06,635 --> 00:12:10,242
with this here, uh,
gemalogical situation?
304
00:12:10,309 --> 00:12:12,380
- Why wouldn't we?
- Aw, bless your heart.
305
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,921
But whatever money
these corpse jewels yield,
306
00:12:15,988 --> 00:12:18,692
we'd be crazy to split it
four ways.
307
00:12:18,793 --> 00:12:21,332
- [groans, grunts]
- [groans]
308
00:12:21,398 --> 00:12:23,102
Look, you and me need this money
309
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:24,873
way more than Lenny and Carl,
all right?
310
00:12:24,973 --> 00:12:26,374
You got an expensive trophy wife
311
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,011
and, like, a thousand
crazy kids.
312
00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:29,681
And all I got is a crummy bar
313
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:31,618
full of toxic black mold.
314
00:12:31,719 --> 00:12:33,256
What?
[coughs]
315
00:12:33,322 --> 00:12:37,096
I guess I do have
a lot of financial burdens.
316
00:12:39,969 --> 00:12:42,007
- [knock on door]
- [Carl] Hey, open up.
317
00:12:42,073 --> 00:12:44,278
I gotta record my gum depth.
318
00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:47,417
Two, two, two, three, two...
319
00:12:47,484 --> 00:12:48,887
Okay, getting ready to lie
to our friends.
320
00:12:48,987 --> 00:12:50,389
And... showtime!
321
00:12:50,423 --> 00:12:53,162
Good morning, dearest Carlton.
322
00:12:53,262 --> 00:12:55,500
I know what's going on in here.
323
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,270
- I, um...
- Uh, uh...
324
00:12:57,304 --> 00:12:59,541
You guys were getting up early
325
00:12:59,674 --> 00:13:02,046
to use the two free
continental breakfast vouchers
326
00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:03,249
without us.
327
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:07,023
Well, we're using 'em.
Me and Larry.
328
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,829
Don't worry,
we'll get our chance.
329
00:13:09,929 --> 00:13:11,264
[Moe hums greedily]
330
00:13:16,508 --> 00:13:19,047
Wait a sec, this ain't
the road to the Falls.
331
00:13:19,147 --> 00:13:20,649
Yeah, I took the scenic route.
332
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:24,291
I thought Larry would appreciate
seeing those wildflowers.
333
00:13:24,357 --> 00:13:27,197
Guess who planted those.
Lady Bird Johnson.
334
00:13:27,263 --> 00:13:28,432
What the hell, Lenny?
335
00:13:28,499 --> 00:13:30,569
You know I gotta get back
to save my lady
336
00:13:30,636 --> 00:13:32,406
from the clutches of
Kool and the Gang.
337
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,044
I thought you weren't worried.
338
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:35,379
Of course I'm worried.
339
00:13:35,446 --> 00:13:39,054
They won the 2014 Soul Train
Music Legend award.
340
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:40,824
- Now let's get back on the highway.
- [yelps]
341
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:43,062
- [grunts] Give it!
- [tires screeching]
342
00:13:43,128 --> 00:13:44,664
[indistinct shouting]
343
00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:46,401
[both cry out]
344
00:13:53,215 --> 00:13:55,085
[tires screech]
345
00:13:57,724 --> 00:13:59,628
- Phew.
- [groaning] Oh...
346
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:02,801
I'm sorry, Carl.
I'll get back on the highway.
347
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:04,972
No. You go however you want.
348
00:14:05,072 --> 00:14:07,176
Let's do right by Larry.
349
00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:14,491
[both]
Larry!
350
00:14:14,557 --> 00:14:16,528
[Homer and Moe]
Our secret gems!
351
00:14:16,595 --> 00:14:17,697
[panting]
352
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,269
Nothing to see here, huh?
353
00:14:20,336 --> 00:14:22,106
Just, uh,
crystalized Larry chunks.
354
00:14:22,173 --> 00:14:23,508
[whispering]
Gems. Gems, gems, gems.
355
00:14:23,608 --> 00:14:25,680
Gems. Gems, gems.
Precious gems.
356
00:14:25,747 --> 00:14:28,419
There were sapphires
in Larry's urn?
357
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,387
And you knew?
358
00:14:29,487 --> 00:14:31,993
Look, guys, we can explain.
You see...
359
00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:33,495
Homer talked me into
screwing youse over
360
00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:36,001
so we could keep them gems
all for ourselves, all right?
361
00:14:36,034 --> 00:14:38,105
- [both] What?
- You liar!
362
00:14:38,205 --> 00:14:39,440
[sheriff]
Hands up.
363
00:14:40,777 --> 00:14:43,215
Back away from the urn.
364
00:14:46,121 --> 00:14:47,991
Y'all are under arrest
for violating
365
00:14:48,058 --> 00:14:51,498
section 545 of
the U.S. commerce code:
366
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:53,002
jewel smuggling.
367
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,037
[whimpering]
368
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:56,876
Y'all get in the frunk.
369
00:14:56,943 --> 00:14:58,178
[vehicle chirps]
370
00:15:02,955 --> 00:15:04,892
[all mutter indistinctly]
371
00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:08,232
[Homer]
Oh, "front trunk." Frunk.
372
00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:09,734
Now I get it.
373
00:15:09,835 --> 00:15:11,571
[laughs, then cries]
374
00:15:15,446 --> 00:15:18,319
- [all groaning]
- [Lenny] Oh.
375
00:15:18,452 --> 00:15:19,588
[Lenny]
I'm not going to jail
376
00:15:19,655 --> 00:15:21,125
'cause you two were
gem smuggling.
377
00:15:21,191 --> 00:15:22,727
It's worse than that, dummy.
378
00:15:22,828 --> 00:15:24,598
Homer and Moe weren't gonna
tell us about
379
00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:27,404
the sapphires they found
in the Larry crumbs.
380
00:15:27,504 --> 00:15:29,308
I wanted to tell you,
but Homer threatened
381
00:15:29,374 --> 00:15:30,609
to set my bar on fire.
382
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:33,515
What? You told me
to keep the gems a secret,
383
00:15:33,548 --> 00:15:36,388
and I only listened to you
because I'm highly suggestable.
384
00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:39,094
- No, you're not.
- You're right, I'm not.
385
00:15:39,161 --> 00:15:41,364
Who cares? All I know is
we were the victims
386
00:15:41,431 --> 00:15:43,235
of an A-1 screw job.
387
00:15:43,301 --> 00:15:46,074
This is the worst thing
you guys have ever done.
388
00:15:46,141 --> 00:15:47,043
[Homer moans sadly]
389
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,747
Oh. yeah, Carl?
Well, what about when you
390
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:53,088
won a year's supply of
Old El Paso taco kits,
391
00:15:53,155 --> 00:15:54,859
and never invited me over?
392
00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:56,228
You won that contest?
393
00:15:56,294 --> 00:15:58,231
I wrote the taco poem.
394
00:15:58,298 --> 00:16:00,636
You must have submitted it
as yours.
395
00:16:00,703 --> 00:16:02,874
Maybe I just got tired
of hearing your voice
396
00:16:02,941 --> 00:16:05,412
that sounds like a duck
with a sinus infection.
397
00:16:05,479 --> 00:16:09,220
"The box contains seasoning
and five broken shells.
398
00:16:09,354 --> 00:16:13,763
You and your family buy
everything else. Old El Paso."
399
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:15,265
He does sound like a duck.
400
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:16,668
Now I'll never not hear it.
401
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,973
You knew broken shells
are my thing.
402
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,344
[all grunting]
403
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,356
Is this what we're like
when we're... sober?
404
00:16:27,423 --> 00:16:30,062
We're nothing like
the Sex and the City broads.
405
00:16:30,129 --> 00:16:33,069
You take us out of that bar,
and what's holding us together?
406
00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:34,071
Nothing.
407
00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:36,508
And to think all Larry wanted
out of life
408
00:16:36,608 --> 00:16:39,214
was to be part of
this friend group.
409
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,184
What a dumb dead chump.
410
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:43,255
[sheriff]
Hey, boss, I found the idiots
411
00:16:43,355 --> 00:16:45,392
who took Larry's last haul.
412
00:16:45,459 --> 00:16:49,768
They're just a bunch of losers
that hate each other. Heh.
413
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:51,304
It's all taken care of.
414
00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:54,644
Excellent work,
Mickey No-Loose-Ends.
415
00:16:54,711 --> 00:16:56,648
So what you want me
to do with them?
416
00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:58,285
Mm, let them go.
417
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,189
They know nothing.
418
00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,994
Got it. No loose ends.
419
00:17:05,299 --> 00:17:07,772
Ugh, I gotta pay more attention
to the nicknames
420
00:17:07,838 --> 00:17:09,240
when I hire these guys.
421
00:17:09,340 --> 00:17:12,080
Now, can you go pick up Connie
at the airport,
422
00:17:12,147 --> 00:17:13,415
Bruno Wife-Banger?
423
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:15,352
Hey, with pleasure.
424
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,025
[whistling]
425
00:17:18,092 --> 00:17:19,628
[sheriff]
No loose ends.
426
00:17:19,728 --> 00:17:22,901
This psycho ain't a sheriff.
He's a psycho!
427
00:17:22,968 --> 00:17:24,939
Oh, and we're his loose ends.
428
00:17:25,006 --> 00:17:26,108
We're all gonna die.
429
00:17:26,241 --> 00:17:29,948
Oh, what if Lenny's right,
and we're all gonna be ghosts?
430
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:32,586
What if Moe is right,
and it's just a void?
431
00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,490
Incomprehensible nothing.
432
00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:36,595
I don't think
I could handle that.
433
00:17:36,695 --> 00:17:39,234
No, no, no, Homer's heaven
makes sense to me now.
434
00:17:39,301 --> 00:17:41,738
Hey, Lord, I repent
everything I ever done.
435
00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:45,346
That he knows about.
Heh, heh, heh.
436
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:48,619
Guys, I think Carl's
stupid energy crap is real,
437
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,325
and I'm totally coming back
as one of those koalas
438
00:17:51,391 --> 00:17:53,562
with an STD.
439
00:17:53,662 --> 00:17:55,666
[grunting]
440
00:18:02,013 --> 00:18:04,084
Mm? [grunts]
441
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,221
Hey, hey, look at this.
442
00:18:06,288 --> 00:18:08,659
I could blast him
when he opens the frunk.
443
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,498
- [indistinct chatter]
- That flare gun. Flare gun will save us.
444
00:18:11,564 --> 00:18:13,836
Time to get out. Whoa!
445
00:18:13,903 --> 00:18:15,874
Eat flare, jerk.
446
00:18:15,941 --> 00:18:17,743
[all crying out]
447
00:18:20,149 --> 00:18:21,084
Phew.
448
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:22,519
[car creaking]
449
00:18:22,553 --> 00:18:24,925
[all cry out]
450
00:18:25,025 --> 00:18:27,898
Nobody move. As long as
our weight is balanced,
451
00:18:27,964 --> 00:18:29,234
we're not going over.
452
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,204
Although,
if one of us jumped out,
453
00:18:31,271 --> 00:18:32,574
that person would
save themselves,
454
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,277
and everyone else would die.
455
00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:36,815
So any one of us
could save themselves
456
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,218
and doom the rest?
457
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,122
[all]
No!
458
00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:42,828
[car creaking]
459
00:18:42,894 --> 00:18:46,034
Our only hope is to jump out
at the exact same time.
460
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,337
Either we all survive,
461
00:18:47,403 --> 00:18:49,240
or we all find out
what the afterlife is...
462
00:18:49,307 --> 00:18:51,278
together.
463
00:18:51,345 --> 00:18:52,413
Unless it's the void,
in which case
464
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,817
we won't find out nothin'.
465
00:18:53,917 --> 00:18:55,285
Okay, on three.
466
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,989
One, two...
467
00:18:57,056 --> 00:18:58,826
[all]
Three!
468
00:18:59,294 --> 00:19:00,931
- Yay, we did it.
- Whoo!
469
00:19:01,031 --> 00:19:03,535
You don't jump on three.
You jump on "go."
470
00:19:03,602 --> 00:19:05,206
One, two, three, go.
471
00:19:05,306 --> 00:19:07,110
The three is the go.
472
00:19:07,176 --> 00:19:10,515
[shouting]
Agree to disagree...
473
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,889
I probably should leave,
but I can't.
474
00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:16,763
Got to make sure there's no...
[grunts]
475
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:19,333
...loose ends.
476
00:19:19,433 --> 00:19:21,638
♪ ♪
477
00:19:23,141 --> 00:19:25,146
- Larry?
- It can't be.
478
00:19:25,213 --> 00:19:26,447
It's another urn.
479
00:19:26,547 --> 00:19:28,753
[crying out]
480
00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:38,873
[Homer grunts]
481
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,309
[groaning]
482
00:19:40,376 --> 00:19:41,845
What happened?
483
00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:43,415
Ow. Oh...
484
00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:45,753
Larry saved your life.
485
00:19:48,091 --> 00:19:51,698
Wow, these electric cars
even explode quiet.
486
00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:55,239
And look, we're right here
at Serenity Falls.
487
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:57,376
Larry's special place.
488
00:19:57,476 --> 00:20:00,649
Wait, this don't look
the same at all.
489
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:02,921
This whole stupid trip
where we were driven apart,
490
00:20:03,021 --> 00:20:05,426
and then came back together
with a much deeper bond,
491
00:20:05,493 --> 00:20:07,229
was for nothing.
492
00:20:07,329 --> 00:20:09,768
Oh, my God, guys, I think I know
493
00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:13,475
where Larry really wanted us
to take his death dust
494
00:20:13,542 --> 00:20:15,346
and bone chunks.
495
00:20:15,446 --> 00:20:19,387
♪ Cherish the love we have ♪
496
00:20:19,487 --> 00:20:24,264
♪ We should cherish
the life we live ♪
497
00:20:24,364 --> 00:20:25,566
♪ Oh... ♪
498
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,069
Welcome home, Larry.
499
00:20:27,136 --> 00:20:29,273
Enjoy your special place.
500
00:20:29,373 --> 00:20:31,779
It's too bad
we lost those sapphires.
501
00:20:31,912 --> 00:20:33,648
I guess they fell out
of the urn.
502
00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:36,654
Yeah, it's a real mystery.
503
00:20:37,423 --> 00:20:40,128
Heh, heh, heh. Ow.
504
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:42,633
♪ Cherish the love we have ♪
505
00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:46,107
♪ For as long as
we both shall live ♪
506
00:20:46,174 --> 00:20:47,176
♪ Ooh... ♪
507
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:54,858
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
508
00:20:54,925 --> 00:20:58,065
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
509
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,870
and TOYOTA.
510
00:21:00,937 --> 00:21:04,176
Captioned by Media Access Group
at WGBH access.wgbh.org
511
00:21:30,797 --> 00:21:32,901
Shh!
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