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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:06,214 Toby, this is insane. You could get seriously hurt. 2 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,514 We've done some crazy stuff, 3 00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:09,149 but this is nuttier than squirrel poop. 4 00:00:09,151 --> 00:00:11,151 He'll pull it off. We have a plan. 5 00:00:11,153 --> 00:00:12,920 I found six "D" batteries. I'll put 'em in. 6 00:00:12,922 --> 00:00:14,388 Tell him this is too dangerous. 7 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:16,957 Actually, I kind of want to see how this plays out. 8 00:00:16,959 --> 00:00:17,791 When did you get here? 9 00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:18,892 I'm Ray. 10 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,027 I'm always here. 11 00:00:20,528 --> 00:00:21,528 It should work now. 12 00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:22,229 It's time. 13 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:22,996 TOBY: Okay. 14 00:00:22,998 --> 00:00:24,131 Someone push the button. 15 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,074 (click) 16 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,343 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:53,828 --> 00:00:55,462 Whew. 18 00:00:55,464 --> 00:00:56,497 (music shuts off) 19 00:00:56,499 --> 00:00:57,998 That was getting kind of heavy. 20 00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:00,567 This was a mistake. Be careful. 21 00:01:00,569 --> 00:01:02,770 All you have to offer society is your mind, 22 00:01:02,772 --> 00:01:05,239 so let him work your... body. 23 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,975 CABE: All right, let's go, killer. 24 00:01:11,012 --> 00:01:12,880 Here we go! 25 00:01:12,882 --> 00:01:14,081 Where the hell you think you're going? 26 00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:15,983 I'm the-the cut man. 27 00:01:18,386 --> 00:01:19,987 I can squirt water in his mouth. 28 00:01:20,855 --> 00:01:22,556 Yes! 29 00:01:23,658 --> 00:01:24,925 I'm the cut man! 30 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,528 Not now. 31 00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:29,430 In the blue corner, 32 00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:32,266 weighing in at 171 pounds, 33 00:01:32,268 --> 00:01:34,701 from Hawaiian Gardens, 34 00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:37,171 Hector Guardino... 35 00:01:37,173 --> 00:01:39,139 (audience cheering) 36 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,775 In the red corner, 37 00:01:41,777 --> 00:01:44,144 at 168 pounds, 38 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,381 from MIT undergrad and Harvard Medical School-- 39 00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:50,884 he's got more degrees than a thermometer, 40 00:01:50,886 --> 00:01:52,419 more knockout punches than a... 41 00:01:52,421 --> 00:01:54,121 Seriously? 42 00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:55,456 Just read the card, zebra. 43 00:01:57,459 --> 00:01:58,525 More knockout punches 44 00:01:58,527 --> 00:02:00,661 than a frat house refreshment table: 45 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,629 the Doctor of Doom, 46 00:02:02,631 --> 00:02:04,665 the Head-Hunting Headshrink, 47 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,834 the Therapist with a Hit List, 48 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:10,204 Dr. Tobias Curtis... 49 00:02:10,206 --> 00:02:13,474 (audience jeering) 50 00:02:13,476 --> 00:02:15,709 (whoops) 51 00:02:15,711 --> 00:02:17,711 Can't believe Happy didn't make it. 52 00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:19,179 Just focus on the fight. 53 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,014 Once again, what's our plan? 54 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,050 I profiled my opponent online last night. 55 00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:24,818 I know a ton about him. I'm gonna get in his head. 56 00:02:24,820 --> 00:02:25,986 That is not the plan! 57 00:02:25,988 --> 00:02:27,120 Stick and move, that's the plan! 58 00:02:27,122 --> 00:02:28,288 Stick and move! 59 00:02:29,257 --> 00:02:30,991 (growls) 60 00:02:30,993 --> 00:02:31,992 CABE: Stick and move! 61 00:02:31,994 --> 00:02:34,228 (bell clangs) 62 00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:38,966 Keep your feet under you! 63 00:02:38,968 --> 00:02:40,634 Keep your feet under you! 64 00:02:40,636 --> 00:02:42,436 You're the reason your parents got divorced 65 00:02:42,438 --> 00:02:43,437 when you were eight. 66 00:02:43,439 --> 00:02:44,771 (grunts) 67 00:02:46,241 --> 00:02:47,508 Oh, yeah, yeah! 68 00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:50,444 Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 69 00:02:50,446 --> 00:02:51,578 Maybe I crossed a line. 70 00:02:52,747 --> 00:02:55,249 Oh! Oh! 71 00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:56,650 (audience cheering) 72 00:02:56,652 --> 00:02:58,452 One... two... All right, get up. 73 00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,653 three... 74 00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:01,889 Get up, Doc! four... 75 00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:02,990 five... 76 00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:04,191 six... 77 00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:05,859 seven... 78 00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:09,963 SYLVESTER: Okay... 79 00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:11,298 Here we go. 80 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,069 That's cold. 81 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,371 It's liquid nitrogen. 82 00:03:17,373 --> 00:03:18,405 It should be cold. 83 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,707 12 hours, still swollen. 84 00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:22,809 I hope you've got that boxing nonsense out of your system. 85 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,211 TOBY: One more fight. 86 00:03:24,213 --> 00:03:25,812 Just need Happy to see me 87 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,648 in a more manly, less academic light. 88 00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:29,683 You want more manly? Lose the hat, already. 89 00:03:29,685 --> 00:03:31,285 And if Happy 90 00:03:31,287 --> 00:03:32,786 were interested in you, she would have been there. 91 00:03:32,788 --> 00:03:34,588 (door opens) Sorry. 92 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:37,624 Sometimes the truth hurts more than a right hook, buddy. 93 00:03:37,626 --> 00:03:39,760 HAPPY: Guys? 94 00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,361 SYLVESTER: Morning! 95 00:03:42,664 --> 00:03:43,564 What happened to you? 96 00:03:43,566 --> 00:03:44,665 I had my first fight 97 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:45,666 yesterday evening. 98 00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:46,667 You missed it. 99 00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,835 Right. Uh, sorry. 100 00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:50,103 I had a prior engagement. 101 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,306 How did it go? 102 00:03:52,308 --> 00:03:54,041 You should've seen the other guy. 103 00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:56,076 WALTER: Oh, yeah, he was standing over Toby 104 00:03:56,078 --> 00:03:57,811 with his arms raised in triumph. 105 00:03:57,813 --> 00:04:00,781 Yeah, well, hopefully I'll be there 106 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,482 the next time somebody hits you. 107 00:04:06,588 --> 00:04:07,888 See that? 108 00:04:07,890 --> 00:04:08,922 She was just busy. 109 00:04:08,924 --> 00:04:11,925 First stage of grief: denial. 110 00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:13,026 Grief over what? 111 00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:14,328 The fact that your attempted romance 112 00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:15,662 with Happy is dead. 113 00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:16,897 Okay, no offense, 114 00:04:16,899 --> 00:04:18,265 but I'm not about to give weight 115 00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:19,466 to the psychiatric musings 116 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,535 of a guy who uses a superhero lunch box 117 00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:23,203 and someone who still watches Bonanza. 118 00:04:25,673 --> 00:04:28,842 Second stage of grief: anger. 119 00:04:28,844 --> 00:04:31,044 RAY: Wally! 120 00:04:31,046 --> 00:04:32,546 Uno momento s'il vous plait? 121 00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:34,014 Yeah. 122 00:04:39,087 --> 00:04:40,053 Wow. 123 00:04:40,055 --> 00:04:41,888 Today is your lucky day, brother. 124 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,223 I'm taking you to the beach with me. 125 00:04:43,225 --> 00:04:45,559 Sit in traffic for hours 126 00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:47,127 just to lie on dirt next to water? 127 00:04:47,129 --> 00:04:48,095 Come on! 128 00:04:48,097 --> 00:04:49,329 The beach is fun. 129 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,999 Girls, waves, horseshoe crabs... 130 00:04:54,068 --> 00:04:55,669 Hey, hey. Don't-don't touch that. 131 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,204 Put that down. 132 00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:58,639 Yeah, o-okay. Sorry. 133 00:04:58,641 --> 00:05:01,274 I just... I... saw it there. 134 00:05:01,276 --> 00:05:03,710 It's cool. It's just... Okay. 135 00:05:03,712 --> 00:05:05,078 it's not mine, okay? 136 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,947 Yeah. 137 00:05:09,951 --> 00:05:11,852 You know, Paige said that you used to be a firefighter. 138 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:12,919 Is that a bravery award? 139 00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,489 Not for me. 140 00:05:18,159 --> 00:05:20,260 Anyway, why are we talking about the past 141 00:05:20,262 --> 00:05:21,928 when the present is so tasty? 142 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,597 So get your junk in some trunks, all right? 143 00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:24,898 We are outta here like Vladimir. 144 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:25,999 Come on. 145 00:05:26,001 --> 00:05:27,434 Oh, no, I can't. 146 00:05:27,436 --> 00:05:28,735 I have, uh, plans. 147 00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:30,237 Oh, that's right. 148 00:05:30,239 --> 00:05:31,371 Paula's kid invited you to the science museum. 149 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,472 I forgot. It's Paige. 150 00:05:32,474 --> 00:05:33,774 And I couldn't go. 151 00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:35,075 Making too much rocket progress. 152 00:05:35,077 --> 00:05:36,109 Hold on a second. 153 00:05:36,111 --> 00:05:37,110 You could've spent your Saturday 154 00:05:37,112 --> 00:05:38,845 hanging out with a beautiful woman, 155 00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:40,547 but you picked work. 156 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:41,715 I have to work. 157 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,383 Have fun sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. 158 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,985 Okay, see, joke's on you, my brother, 159 00:05:44,987 --> 00:05:46,019 because I am taking the subway 160 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:47,254 straight to Santa Monica. 161 00:05:47,256 --> 00:05:49,389 Subway? That's another reason not to go. 162 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,294 Can't believe the school is making us take 163 00:05:54,296 --> 00:05:56,029 the children to the museum on a Saturday. 164 00:05:56,031 --> 00:05:57,097 I know. 165 00:05:57,099 --> 00:05:58,365 Lost weekend, right? 166 00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,900 No. 167 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:00,834 It's just... 168 00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:02,436 Tyler's almost a pre-Eagle Scout 169 00:06:02,438 --> 00:06:03,737 and there's an event today. 170 00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,205 Does Ralph do Scouts? 171 00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:07,307 Um... no. Oh. 172 00:06:07,309 --> 00:06:09,443 Well, normally we have basketball practice afterwards, 173 00:06:09,445 --> 00:06:11,978 but by the time we get back, it'll be halfway over. 174 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,647 Does Ralph play sports? 175 00:06:13,649 --> 00:06:16,550 Ralph is more of a... indoor cat. 176 00:06:16,552 --> 00:06:19,086 RALPH: My telescope has a six-inch 177 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,020 f8 reflector. 178 00:06:20,022 --> 00:06:21,488 Most are eight inches now, 179 00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:22,889 but I prefer the older version. (sighs) 180 00:06:22,891 --> 00:06:25,358 Who cares? 181 00:06:28,196 --> 00:06:29,229 Mom... 182 00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:31,498 why do I have to be partners with him? 183 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,934 MOTHER: Your teacher chose the partners. 184 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,536 You get what you get and you don't get upset. 185 00:06:36,538 --> 00:06:38,472 MAN (over P.A.): Now approaching Grand Park. 186 00:06:38,474 --> 00:06:40,741 Okay, uh, Ralph, telescope away, our stop's coming up. 187 00:06:46,214 --> 00:06:47,614 That was our stop, Mom. 188 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:48,749 Yeah, don't worry. 189 00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:50,383 Weekend schedules sometimes get messed up. 190 00:06:50,385 --> 00:06:52,886 We'll just get off on the next stop and, uh, walk. 191 00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:54,254 (screaming) 192 00:06:54,256 --> 00:06:56,957 Oh, boy. That's a rocky ride. 193 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,258 Um, Ralph, hold onto something 194 00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:00,427 in case we hit another bump. 195 00:07:00,429 --> 00:07:01,461 (screaming) 196 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,363 WOMAN: Oh, my God! PAIGE: Oh, my God, 197 00:07:03,365 --> 00:07:04,765 are you okay? 198 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:07,501 Ralph? 199 00:07:07,503 --> 00:07:08,702 You okay? 200 00:07:10,271 --> 00:07:11,304 Ralph. 201 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,572 We didn't hit a bump. 202 00:07:12,574 --> 00:07:14,508 The train's going too fast for the track 203 00:07:14,510 --> 00:07:16,109 and it's speeding up. 204 00:07:16,111 --> 00:07:17,611 Something's wrong, Mom. 205 00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,448 Ah. 206 00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:22,983 Okay, 207 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,818 now that I know the doc's peeper's okay, 208 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,820 I'm not wasting my Saturday in this joint. 209 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,655 See you when duty calls. 210 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,957 Okay, Paige, can you ask Ralph how fast you're going? 211 00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:32,192 Cabe... 212 00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:33,426 Can you get SoCal D.O.T. 213 00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:35,095 on the phone immediately? 214 00:07:35,097 --> 00:07:36,696 Okay. What's going on? 215 00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:38,265 Paige and Ralph are on the subway, 216 00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:40,066 and their train's gaining speed and missing stops. 217 00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,002 I'm sure it's just a rectifiable snafu, but... 218 00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:43,103 Calling 'em now. 219 00:07:43,105 --> 00:07:44,304 PAIGE: Uh, Ralph says we're going 220 00:07:44,306 --> 00:07:45,405 approximately 75 miles an hour. 221 00:07:45,407 --> 00:07:46,907 Uh, what line are you on? 222 00:07:46,909 --> 00:07:48,008 The Olympic line. 223 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,876 Uh, it's automated. No conductors. 224 00:07:50,778 --> 00:07:51,978 (screaming) 225 00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:53,046 Oh, my God. 226 00:07:53,048 --> 00:07:54,981 Walter, there's something going on here. 227 00:07:54,983 --> 00:07:55,982 People are getting scared. 228 00:07:55,984 --> 00:07:57,050 You hear her voice? 229 00:07:57,052 --> 00:07:58,451 That's real panic. 230 00:07:58,453 --> 00:07:59,820 Her instincts are screaming-- this isn't just a snafu. 231 00:07:59,822 --> 00:08:01,188 Something is seriously off with that train. 232 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,590 CABE: And I'm telling you, get me your supervisor 233 00:08:03,592 --> 00:08:04,558 or I'm gonna come down there 234 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,526 and kick every square inch of your ass! 235 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,162 Got SoCal D.O.T. on the line. 236 00:08:09,164 --> 00:08:10,430 Total incompetents. 237 00:08:10,432 --> 00:08:11,598 Yeah, you just keep sweet-talking 'em, Cabe. 238 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,866 You're doing great. SYLVESTER: Oh, boy. 239 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,367 I just hacked the D.O.T. control center, 240 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,503 and Paige's train is going 80 miles an hour and gaining. 241 00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:18,638 HAPPY: Okay, this just reached DEFCON 1. 242 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,207 Subway cars average 30 miles per hour. 243 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,510 50s is pushing it, 70s is unsafe 244 00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:25,745 and if it reaches mid-90s, someone is getting hurt. 245 00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:26,713 MAN: Agent Gallo? 246 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,781 This is James Taggit. 247 00:08:27,783 --> 00:08:28,949 I'm a supervisor 248 00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:30,116 at SoCal Department of Transportation. 249 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,184 Mr. Taggit. 250 00:08:31,186 --> 00:08:32,352 Are you aware that you presently have 251 00:08:32,354 --> 00:08:34,888 an out-of-control train on your Olympic line? 252 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,790 The situation red-lighted moments ago. 253 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:37,891 We're just trying to figure out... 254 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,260 What the hell? 255 00:08:40,262 --> 00:08:42,462 WALTER: Relax, Mr. Taggit. That's just me. 256 00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:43,830 I've hacked your system. 257 00:08:43,832 --> 00:08:45,498 I'm giving the command for the train to slow down, 258 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,499 but nothing is responding. 259 00:08:46,501 --> 00:08:47,968 Question one: who the hell are you? 260 00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:48,969 And question two: 261 00:08:48,971 --> 00:08:50,704 how did you get into the D.O.T. server? 262 00:08:50,706 --> 00:08:52,372 Answer one: my name is Walter O'Brien 263 00:08:52,374 --> 00:08:54,941 and answer two: your security sucks, it's atrocious. 264 00:08:54,943 --> 00:08:58,078 As for your software, there's a glitch somewhere 265 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,279 that is not allowing it to respond to commands. 266 00:08:59,281 --> 00:09:00,413 Uh, Walt, we've got a bigger problem. 267 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:01,748 Bigger than a runaway train 268 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,049 under the streets of Los Angeles? 269 00:09:03,051 --> 00:09:04,251 HAPPY: Yeah, like if that train 270 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,052 is 20.5 miles from approaching 271 00:09:06,054 --> 00:09:07,487 an unsustainable curve radius. 272 00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:08,788 I don't like the sound of that. 273 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,156 We've got a major cant issue. 274 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,258 CABE: Screw that. 275 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,759 There's no "can't" in Scorpion. 276 00:09:14,729 --> 00:09:17,063 "Cant" is the name of the height difference 277 00:09:17,065 --> 00:09:20,333 between the outside and inside rails on a track curve. 278 00:09:20,335 --> 00:09:24,337 The tilt creates a down-thrust to counter sideways force. 279 00:09:25,373 --> 00:09:26,640 And at the current speed 280 00:09:26,642 --> 00:09:28,541 of Paige's train, the cant can't work. 281 00:09:28,543 --> 00:09:30,243 The train will derail. 282 00:09:30,245 --> 00:09:32,145 I like the sound of that even less. 283 00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:34,281 Paige, I will fix this! Sly, stay on with the D.O.T. 284 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,283 See if you can regain control of the system. 285 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:37,584 Where is the curve in the track? 286 00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:39,219 It's under the corner of Olympic and Arlington. 287 00:09:39,221 --> 00:09:41,288 Average 80 miles an hour, don't stop at any red lights, 288 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,023 and you'll get there in just above 11 minutes. 289 00:09:43,025 --> 00:09:44,791 It's gonna be close. Let's go! 290 00:09:47,328 --> 00:09:48,461 Paige, you'll have to get all the passengers 291 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:49,529 to the right side of the train 292 00:09:49,531 --> 00:09:51,898 and have them push against the train wall. 293 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,733 Counterbalance is one of the keys to your survival. 294 00:09:53,735 --> 00:09:55,902 One of the keys? What's the other? 295 00:09:55,904 --> 00:09:58,204 How often they empty the grease traps at Chucky Burger. 296 00:09:59,173 --> 00:10:01,374 (tires squeal) 297 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:11,651 Go get canisters from the gas station! 298 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,719 Happy, hose! 299 00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:15,255 Yeah, okay, 300 00:10:15,257 --> 00:10:16,790 okay. 301 00:10:23,397 --> 00:10:25,398 PAIGE: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, 302 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,901 but we all have to get to the right side of the train. 303 00:10:27,903 --> 00:10:29,002 Let's just pull the emergency cord! No. 304 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,537 Sudden braking will make us derail, 305 00:10:30,539 --> 00:10:31,671 or so I've been told. 306 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,940 And piling to one side could make things worse. 307 00:10:33,942 --> 00:10:35,241 This train ain't exactly steady. 308 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:36,476 RALPH: It'll work, mister. 309 00:10:36,478 --> 00:10:38,478 You're a construction worker-- you'll understand. 310 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,813 It's like a horizontal counterbalance 311 00:10:39,815 --> 00:10:41,481 on the back of a construction crane. 312 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,617 It's the theory of stable equilibrium. 313 00:10:44,619 --> 00:10:46,319 (brakes squeak) 314 00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,557 Okay, everybody, let's get to the right side! 315 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:51,925 Let's go! 316 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,830 Thank you, honey. 317 00:10:56,832 --> 00:10:58,098 What are you doing to my phone? 318 00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,332 No time to get to the other cars, 319 00:10:59,334 --> 00:11:00,734 so I had to tap into the P.A. system. 320 00:11:00,736 --> 00:11:03,136 Had to strip the insulation off your earbuds, Ms. Goldberg. 321 00:11:03,138 --> 00:11:04,871 That's okay. 322 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,473 Attention, everybody. 323 00:11:06,475 --> 00:11:08,675 We have an emergency announcement. 324 00:11:12,279 --> 00:11:13,980 They only had two. 325 00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:15,849 Should be enough. CABE: How exactly 326 00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:17,550 is putting grease on the tracks gonna slow down the train? 327 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:18,985 The grease will lower the coefficient of friction 328 00:11:18,987 --> 00:11:21,354 between the train track and the train wheel. 329 00:11:21,356 --> 00:11:25,058 This might be enough to slow the train down to survive the curve. 330 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,594 I don't like the word "might" in that sentence. 331 00:11:27,596 --> 00:11:29,763 Sly, can math ease Toby's mind? 332 00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:32,532 Only if a 42% chance of survival helps. 333 00:11:32,534 --> 00:11:34,200 Guys, this is really... 334 00:11:34,202 --> 00:11:35,735 HAPPY: Not good. I can hear the train coming down the track. 335 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,736 WALTER: Well, run faster then. 336 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:37,971 HAPPY: You're behind me. 337 00:11:39,507 --> 00:11:41,307 HAPPY: Curve's up ahead. 338 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,543 Okay. 339 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,351 Walter, there's no more room over there. 340 00:11:51,353 --> 00:11:53,153 Get over here before you get hit. Almost done. 341 00:11:55,222 --> 00:11:57,390 O'Brien, move it! 342 00:12:12,239 --> 00:12:13,807 (passengers scream) 343 00:12:18,546 --> 00:12:19,779 I can't believe it worked. 344 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:20,880 I can't believe it worked. 345 00:12:20,882 --> 00:12:21,881 I can't believe it worked. 346 00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:23,116 I can't believe that worked. 347 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,984 HAPPY: Paige, I got a good look at the train 348 00:12:24,986 --> 00:12:26,686 when it was passing, it's an A-250. 349 00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:27,954 Uh, there should be a hatch 350 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,489 in the front cab of the train. 351 00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:31,458 Find it, and I'll talk you through switching operation 352 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,694 from automatic to manual, and we can stop that sucker. 353 00:12:36,063 --> 00:12:37,297 It's locked. 354 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,566 After 9/11, trains were required to install 355 00:12:39,568 --> 00:12:41,101 electronically locked security doors. 356 00:12:41,103 --> 00:12:43,169 Give me the nine-volt battery from your stud finder. 357 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,106 Stud finder? 358 00:12:46,108 --> 00:12:47,373 I can't go near those things. 359 00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:48,575 They just go off. 360 00:12:53,447 --> 00:12:54,781 Hold this. 361 00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:02,922 Uh, you want to fill me in here? 362 00:13:02,924 --> 00:13:05,859 Most electronic doors use a servomotor. 363 00:13:05,861 --> 00:13:08,761 The computer sends an electronic signal to unlock it. 364 00:13:08,763 --> 00:13:11,097 But since that computer isn't working, 365 00:13:11,099 --> 00:13:12,966 I'll send the signal myself. (click) 366 00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:15,735 That's why he doesn't have time for Scouts. 367 00:13:16,971 --> 00:13:18,204 PAIGE: Okay, I'm in. 368 00:13:18,206 --> 00:13:19,272 Uh, there's a hatch on the floor. 369 00:13:19,274 --> 00:13:20,474 Okay, that's the one. Open it. 370 00:13:22,276 --> 00:13:24,344 WALTER: Okay, look for a yellow switch in a yellow box 371 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,479 right near the opening. 372 00:13:26,481 --> 00:13:28,281 There's a yellow box, but there's no switch in it. 373 00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:29,916 Okay, that's impossible, that's how those trains are designed. 374 00:13:29,918 --> 00:13:32,018 Okay, feel inside the box. 375 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,720 Is there, uh, a remnant of a lever or switch? 376 00:13:33,722 --> 00:13:35,889 Just a bolt, th-there's n-nothing attached to it. 377 00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:37,524 Ugh, someone took out the switch. 378 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,425 PAIGE: What does that mean? 379 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,547 It means the train isn't malfunctioning from a glitch. 380 00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:44,831 Someone sabotaged that train, 381 00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:46,766 and whoever did that is controlling it remotely. 382 00:13:46,768 --> 00:13:48,434 Can't I just pull the-the cable from the router, 383 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,770 like I do at home? HAPPY: No, they're kept 384 00:13:50,772 --> 00:13:52,672 in locked iron boxes on the underside of the train's frame. 385 00:13:52,674 --> 00:13:53,873 Why the hell are they there? 386 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:54,841 So crazy people don't pull 387 00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:56,109 the cable from the router. 388 00:13:57,111 --> 00:13:59,045 I'm sorry, but as of now, 389 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,446 there's no way for you to stop the train. 390 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,148 What do they mean the train can't be stopped? 391 00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:04,651 It can't be stopped manually, but some of the smartest people 392 00:14:04,653 --> 00:14:06,686 in the world are working on a solution. 393 00:14:06,688 --> 00:14:09,422 Guys, I need a solution now! 394 00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:13,424 ♪ Scorpion 2x07 ♪ Crazy Train Original Air Date on November 2, 2015 395 00:14:13,448 --> 00:14:19,948 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 396 00:14:21,815 --> 00:14:23,582 Sly, any ideas from the D.O.T.? 397 00:14:23,584 --> 00:14:24,817 I just got off the phone 398 00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:26,151 with Deputy Director Cooper at Homeland. 399 00:14:26,153 --> 00:14:27,453 The D.O.T. has been ordered 400 00:14:27,455 --> 00:14:28,787 to turn control of the situation over to us. 401 00:14:28,789 --> 00:14:30,322 Homeland must think this is terrorism. 402 00:14:30,324 --> 00:14:32,825 There's no other reason they'd exercise their jurisdiction. 403 00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:34,159 Well, they're wrong. 404 00:14:34,161 --> 00:14:36,061 The subway's a byzantine rats' nest 405 00:14:36,063 --> 00:14:38,897 of dead ends, tight corridors, half-finished terminals. 406 00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:40,332 If they were terrorists, 407 00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:41,767 they'd have crashed that train a million different ways already. 408 00:14:41,769 --> 00:14:43,402 Not to mention no one's taking credit, 409 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,437 no demands, no release of a manifesto. 410 00:14:45,439 --> 00:14:46,872 This doesn't follow the terrorist playbook. 411 00:14:46,874 --> 00:14:48,273 Whoever did this has an ulterior motive 412 00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:49,541 to just controlling a train. 413 00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:52,344 Look, all the trains are being called back 414 00:14:52,346 --> 00:14:53,278 to their various yards. 415 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,147 CABE: Safety maneuver. 416 00:14:55,149 --> 00:14:56,415 Now there's no chance that Paige's train 417 00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:57,483 will collide with another one. 418 00:14:57,485 --> 00:14:59,251 Maybe that's the ulterior motive. 419 00:14:59,253 --> 00:15:01,320 Getting the trains back to the yards? 420 00:15:01,322 --> 00:15:02,488 No, no, no, clearing the tracks. 421 00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:03,589 What if whoever's behind this 422 00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:04,723 set the whole thing up just so the D.O.T. 423 00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:06,058 would clear all the subway lines, 424 00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,159 save for one lone train? 425 00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,293 Why the hell would they do that? 426 00:15:08,295 --> 00:15:09,428 TOBY: I don't know. 427 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,696 But they'd have to have a darn good reason 428 00:15:10,698 --> 00:15:11,630 to want to be on those tracks 429 00:15:11,632 --> 00:15:12,698 with no risk of getting run over. 430 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,700 Okay, so most of the tunnels are built 431 00:15:14,702 --> 00:15:17,302 under, uh, commercial districts or low-rent neighborhoods. 432 00:15:17,304 --> 00:15:19,271 Uh, doesn't really help with a motive. 433 00:15:19,273 --> 00:15:21,140 What if there's something in the tunnels themselves? 434 00:15:21,142 --> 00:15:22,508 No, I've done some urban exploring 435 00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:23,809 down there on my bike. 436 00:15:23,811 --> 00:15:26,011 Nothing in those tunnels except rats and more rats. 437 00:15:26,013 --> 00:15:27,913 SYLVESTER: You know, some of the tunnels predate 438 00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,181 the L.A. airport's construction. 439 00:15:29,183 --> 00:15:30,616 There are terminals built right on top of them. 440 00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:33,952 L.A. airport is one of the most secure in the country. 441 00:15:35,388 --> 00:15:38,056 Okay, our bad guy could use the underground access 442 00:15:38,058 --> 00:15:39,458 from the now-clear subway tunnels 443 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:41,326 to get past all the security 444 00:15:41,328 --> 00:15:42,961 and go right up into the airport. 445 00:15:42,963 --> 00:15:45,230 Doc, you might be wrong about that no-terrorism theory. 446 00:15:45,232 --> 00:15:46,398 Well, if I am, we better move fast, 447 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,633 'cause those tracks are clear now. 448 00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:49,768 An attack could go down at any minute. Happy. 449 00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:52,037 Yes, I know, I drive crazy. Let's go. 450 00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:53,639 Just give me the keys. 451 00:15:53,641 --> 00:15:55,841 (passengers scream) 452 00:15:58,011 --> 00:16:00,279 Tyler, everything will be all right. 453 00:16:00,281 --> 00:16:01,980 Everything will be okay. 454 00:16:01,982 --> 00:16:03,348 I promise. 455 00:16:09,956 --> 00:16:12,024 MAN: You guys need to wrap this up ASAP. 456 00:16:12,026 --> 00:16:14,326 We got 10,000 passengers evac'd in the street. 457 00:16:14,328 --> 00:16:16,028 If they miss their flights for no reason... 458 00:16:16,030 --> 00:16:18,163 Terrorism's a good reason. MAN: Already told you 459 00:16:18,165 --> 00:16:19,965 we've been through every inch of the airport. 460 00:16:19,967 --> 00:16:22,601 No suspicious packages, no traces of explosives. Nothing. 461 00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:24,670 WOMAN: We just checked inside this room 20 minutes ago. 462 00:16:24,672 --> 00:16:26,104 And Customs has had double security 463 00:16:26,106 --> 00:16:27,773 outside this door all day-- no one's come in or out. 464 00:16:27,775 --> 00:16:29,908 Open the door; this is the last place we look. 465 00:16:29,910 --> 00:16:32,230 If there's nothing there, I'll take the heat for this mess. 466 00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:38,617 WALTER: Oh, great. 467 00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:41,119 So much for nobody going inside or out. 468 00:16:41,121 --> 00:16:43,188 HAPPY: Well, they came under. 469 00:16:43,190 --> 00:16:45,491 This isn't terrorism, this is a heist. 470 00:16:45,493 --> 00:16:47,826 What the hell were you guys keeping in this place? 471 00:16:47,828 --> 00:16:50,829 The Kellion collection, $50 million of British gold coins, 472 00:16:50,831 --> 00:16:52,865 being shipped to some Silicon Valley billionaire. 473 00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:54,299 Not anymore. 474 00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:55,567 MAN: How'd they get in without anyone hearing? 475 00:16:55,569 --> 00:16:57,436 HAPPY: Hydro-drill with a silencer. 476 00:16:57,438 --> 00:16:59,071 Hammer wrapped in a hand towel. 477 00:16:59,073 --> 00:17:00,472 You wouldn't hear it from all the way out there. 478 00:17:00,474 --> 00:17:02,241 They didn't hear it from all the way out there. 479 00:17:02,243 --> 00:17:03,842 (metal clangs) 480 00:17:03,844 --> 00:17:05,577 Heard that. 481 00:17:05,579 --> 00:17:08,514 PhD I have, but I go in the hole with the rats and the bugs. 482 00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,584 All right. 483 00:17:15,188 --> 00:17:16,455 You know, for the record, 484 00:17:16,457 --> 00:17:17,823 I was right about this not being terrorism. 485 00:17:17,825 --> 00:17:19,191 Since no one's pointing that out, I thought I would. 486 00:17:19,193 --> 00:17:20,192 I was right. 487 00:17:20,194 --> 00:17:21,927 Up there. 488 00:17:22,762 --> 00:17:24,096 Freeze! 489 00:17:26,032 --> 00:17:28,267 Okay, everyone off the track. I have an idea. 490 00:17:29,802 --> 00:17:31,637 Can't out-run electricity now that he's wet. 491 00:17:31,639 --> 00:17:34,273 He's conductive as long as he's within a foot of the rail. 492 00:17:42,582 --> 00:17:46,084 Strong pulse-- he's just knocked out. 493 00:17:46,086 --> 00:17:48,787 CABE: Found the coins, nothing else. 494 00:17:48,789 --> 00:17:50,722 Yeah, that makes sense-- he steals the gold 495 00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:53,058 while some partner somewhere remotely controls the train. 496 00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,160 Not for long. Sylvester, 497 00:17:55,162 --> 00:17:56,461 how far away is the train? 498 00:17:56,463 --> 00:17:58,463 Its current path has it just a few minutes from you, 499 00:17:58,465 --> 00:18:00,832 headed towards the Olympic and Westwood stop. Why? 500 00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:01,967 'Cause I'm getting on board. 501 00:18:01,969 --> 00:18:04,102 Suicidal genius says what now? 502 00:18:04,103 --> 00:18:05,873 This guy has nothing on him to help with the train, 503 00:18:05,874 --> 00:18:08,540 but if I can hardwire into the train's computer, 504 00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:10,976 then I can build a firewall to block off the incoming signal 505 00:18:10,978 --> 00:18:11,944 that's controlling it. 506 00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:13,579 Then once it's blocked, 507 00:18:13,581 --> 00:18:14,980 Sylvester can slow down the train gradually. 508 00:18:14,982 --> 00:18:17,416 Happy, you're gonna drive me to Olympic and Westwood. 509 00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,885 Hold on, how the hell are you gonna 510 00:18:19,887 --> 00:18:21,920 get on a train going 90 miles an hour? 511 00:18:21,922 --> 00:18:23,989 I presume with great caution. 512 00:18:33,967 --> 00:18:36,802 Better hurry if you want to catch that train. 513 00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:38,070 Really? 514 00:18:38,072 --> 00:18:39,705 Couldn't help myself. 515 00:18:39,707 --> 00:18:42,708 Ralph, I have to assume these trains weren't designed 516 00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:44,810 for these kind of speeds. 517 00:18:44,812 --> 00:18:46,311 Structural integrity is already compromised. 518 00:18:46,313 --> 00:18:47,913 Mechanical failure is certain if the train isn't stopped. 519 00:18:47,915 --> 00:18:50,215 Wonderful. It'll be okay. 520 00:18:50,217 --> 00:18:52,718 Walter will be here any second. That's right, stay optimistic. 521 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,153 No, really, he'll be here any second. Look. 522 00:18:57,323 --> 00:18:58,323 Oh, God. 523 00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:01,193 (grunts) 524 00:19:02,829 --> 00:19:05,063 I seem to have overshot the emergency window. 525 00:19:05,065 --> 00:19:06,498 It won't open. 526 00:19:08,568 --> 00:19:11,470 Walter, you're coming up on a junction box in 25 seconds. 527 00:19:11,472 --> 00:19:12,638 You need to get inside. 528 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,007 The emergency door, we can pull him in here. 529 00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:16,942 It's not working. 530 00:19:16,944 --> 00:19:19,911 Ugh, mass transit, of course it's broken. 531 00:19:20,913 --> 00:19:22,147 Paige, in 20 seconds, I'm broken. 532 00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:24,750 We need to do something or I die. 533 00:19:32,896 --> 00:19:34,430 I don't know what to do. 534 00:19:34,643 --> 00:19:36,844 You are normally the person in charge of these situations. 535 00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:38,445 Yeah, well, not while I'm hanging off a train. 536 00:19:38,447 --> 00:19:40,714 Ralph, you need to help me out here, buddy. 537 00:19:40,716 --> 00:19:42,616 Is anyone wearing porcelain jewelry? 538 00:19:42,618 --> 00:19:45,018 Even just the smallest piece can break tempered glass. 539 00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:48,789 Yeah, yeah. Stand back. 540 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,068 RALPH: My telescope. 541 00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:03,036 I'll get you a new one. 542 00:20:03,838 --> 00:20:05,239 Damn, Paige. 543 00:20:07,475 --> 00:20:10,911 Okay, now, Ralph, we need to hard-wire 544 00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:12,813 my laptop into the train system 545 00:20:12,815 --> 00:20:15,349 so I can build a firewall-blocking 546 00:20:15,351 --> 00:20:17,784 wireless access to the router. 547 00:20:17,786 --> 00:20:20,754 We cut off the bad guy's access, we can drive the train. 548 00:20:20,756 --> 00:20:22,422 That's my boy. 549 00:20:22,424 --> 00:20:23,690 HAPPY: Hey, you guys might not have 550 00:20:23,692 --> 00:20:24,992 enough time to get that firewall down. 551 00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:26,960 You've been burning up track for way too long. 552 00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:28,495 The gearbox can go at any moment. 553 00:20:28,497 --> 00:20:30,564 Cabe, I think our best bet is for you to find 554 00:20:30,566 --> 00:20:31,732 whoever's controlling that train. 555 00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:33,200 What do you think I'm trying to do? 556 00:20:34,369 --> 00:20:36,603 Who's your partner controlling that train? 557 00:20:36,605 --> 00:20:38,972 (shouts) 558 00:20:38,974 --> 00:20:41,575 I've stolen hundreds of millions 559 00:20:41,577 --> 00:20:43,944 for-for clients from Hong Kong to Dubai. 560 00:20:43,946 --> 00:20:45,379 I talk, they kill me. 561 00:20:45,381 --> 00:20:48,715 I keep quiet, I get 12 years, I do nine. 562 00:20:48,717 --> 00:20:50,751 And when I get out, they reward me-- 563 00:20:50,753 --> 00:20:52,085 millions-- for keeping quiet. 564 00:20:52,087 --> 00:20:55,222 So what's in it for me to cooperate? 565 00:20:55,224 --> 00:20:58,158 What the hell are you doing? 566 00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,359 What you clearly can't. 567 00:20:59,361 --> 00:21:01,328 Stuff this jerk inside. To what end? 568 00:21:01,330 --> 00:21:03,030 I'm sending him to sleepaway camp 569 00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:04,531 to get the name of his partner. 570 00:21:04,533 --> 00:21:06,767 Can you trust the guy with the genius IQ? 571 00:21:06,769 --> 00:21:08,335 You're wasting your time. 572 00:21:08,337 --> 00:21:09,469 I'm not claustrophobic, all right? 573 00:21:09,471 --> 00:21:11,805 I'll just go in there and take a nap! 574 00:21:11,807 --> 00:21:14,141 Sweet dreams. Aah! 575 00:21:14,143 --> 00:21:15,709 Now what? 576 00:21:15,711 --> 00:21:18,245 Let's take this putz for a ride! 577 00:21:19,781 --> 00:21:21,848 WALTER: Okay, I'm making progress. 578 00:21:21,850 --> 00:21:23,750 Just configured the first network card. 579 00:21:23,752 --> 00:21:25,252 You're not making fast enough progress. 580 00:21:25,254 --> 00:21:27,955 I know, Happy already told me about the gearbox. 581 00:21:27,957 --> 00:21:29,222 No, screw the gearbox! 582 00:21:29,224 --> 00:21:30,557 You're coming up on a split in the tracks 583 00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:31,625 18 miles ahead. 584 00:21:31,627 --> 00:21:33,360 Right now, the train is going to turn left. 585 00:21:33,362 --> 00:21:34,461 And it's gonna send you 586 00:21:34,463 --> 00:21:37,264 head first into an unfinished subway platform. 587 00:21:37,266 --> 00:21:39,733 But if it goes right, you'll land on a straight 588 00:21:39,735 --> 00:21:41,034 stretch of track for several miles. 589 00:21:41,036 --> 00:21:43,170 Then send us right! I can't. 590 00:21:43,172 --> 00:21:45,205 When the D.O.T. recalled the rest of the trains 591 00:21:45,207 --> 00:21:46,306 back to the yard, 592 00:21:46,308 --> 00:21:48,041 they locked all the switches. 593 00:21:48,043 --> 00:21:49,242 The D.O.T. is going to take 594 00:21:49,244 --> 00:21:51,144 20 minutes to unlock the switch system! 595 00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:52,546 Can the switch be controlled manually? 596 00:21:52,548 --> 00:21:56,216 Uh, let me check. 597 00:21:56,218 --> 00:21:59,386 Yes, but you need to hit the lever on the switch itself. 598 00:21:59,388 --> 00:22:02,022 Okay, Walter, keep on that firewall. I'll handle this. 599 00:22:02,024 --> 00:22:04,324 Give me a comm! Uh, okay. 600 00:22:08,630 --> 00:22:09,830 We need anything of length! 601 00:22:09,832 --> 00:22:10,964 Sir, I need your cane. 602 00:22:10,966 --> 00:22:13,567 Sarah, start tearing your scarf into strips. 603 00:22:13,569 --> 00:22:15,469 I need it to tie this stuff together. 604 00:22:20,308 --> 00:22:22,409 We've been doing this forever. This is stupid. 605 00:22:22,411 --> 00:22:24,344 There is three primal fears everyone shares. 606 00:22:24,346 --> 00:22:25,946 Extinction-- ceasing to exist. 607 00:22:25,948 --> 00:22:28,315 Mutilation-- having one's body boundaries infiltrated. 608 00:22:28,317 --> 00:22:30,283 And loss of autonomy-- feeling entrapped or paralyzed. 609 00:22:30,285 --> 00:22:32,853 Being buried alive covers all three. 610 00:22:32,855 --> 00:22:34,521 That should be enough. 611 00:22:34,523 --> 00:22:35,989 (engine shuts off) 612 00:22:40,928 --> 00:22:43,263 Hey, Cabe? 613 00:22:43,265 --> 00:22:44,665 You got a hat? 614 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,566 It's boiling out here. 615 00:22:48,836 --> 00:22:50,203 SUSPECT: Are those shovels? 616 00:22:50,205 --> 00:22:51,705 What the hell you guys doing?! 617 00:22:51,707 --> 00:22:53,206 You're in Angeles National Forest, dingus. 618 00:22:53,208 --> 00:22:54,474 To be more accurate, 619 00:22:54,476 --> 00:22:56,576 you're in a trench in Angeles National Forest. 620 00:22:56,578 --> 00:22:59,179 I would start holding my breath if I were you. 621 00:22:59,181 --> 00:23:00,247 You kidding me?! 622 00:23:00,249 --> 00:23:01,281 You're cops! 623 00:23:01,283 --> 00:23:03,050 You can't bury me alive! 624 00:23:03,052 --> 00:23:05,018 CABE: You take my friends' lives, 625 00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:07,154 we take yours-- they die, you die! 626 00:23:07,156 --> 00:23:09,222 TOBY: Soil here is ripe with centipedes. 627 00:23:09,224 --> 00:23:11,058 The good news is, you'll be mostly dead 628 00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:12,826 when they get in your intestines. 629 00:23:12,828 --> 00:23:14,861 All right, all right! My partner's name is Aldo! 630 00:23:14,863 --> 00:23:17,230 He's controlling the train out of a warehouse! 631 00:23:17,232 --> 00:23:19,299 4343 Cooke Street! 632 00:23:19,301 --> 00:23:21,535 Now get me the hell out of here! 633 00:23:21,537 --> 00:23:23,537 Let's go. 634 00:23:23,539 --> 00:23:25,872 Hey! 635 00:23:27,742 --> 00:23:29,676 What is that? 636 00:23:29,678 --> 00:23:32,012 Uh, magic wand-- it's gonna let me change the track switch 637 00:23:32,014 --> 00:23:33,680 lever without ever leaving the train. 638 00:23:33,682 --> 00:23:34,648 Well, I'll-I'll do it. 639 00:23:34,650 --> 00:23:36,383 No, you need to build a firewall. 640 00:23:36,385 --> 00:23:38,185 Efficiency dictates that one of us each try 641 00:23:38,187 --> 00:23:39,786 to solve this problem to double our chances of success. 642 00:23:39,788 --> 00:23:40,987 And since I can't code, 643 00:23:40,989 --> 00:23:42,889 I get to hang outside of the speeding train. 644 00:23:42,891 --> 00:23:44,024 I don't like this. What? 645 00:23:44,026 --> 00:23:46,093 Me taking a risk or me using logic against you? 646 00:23:46,095 --> 00:23:47,095 Both. 647 00:23:49,697 --> 00:23:52,232 (passengers screaming) 648 00:23:56,204 --> 00:23:57,771 SYLVESTER: Okay, Paige? 649 00:23:57,773 --> 00:24:00,507 Think of it like a giant light switch. 650 00:24:00,509 --> 00:24:01,675 Got it! 651 00:24:01,677 --> 00:24:02,743 You're gonna hit the lever, 652 00:24:02,745 --> 00:24:04,077 change tracks, buying enough time 653 00:24:04,079 --> 00:24:05,512 for Walter to get control of the train digitally. 654 00:24:05,514 --> 00:24:07,581 Right. And if you miss, 655 00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:09,916 you go left, right into the concrete platform. 656 00:24:09,918 --> 00:24:11,818 Sylvester, I know the situation! 657 00:24:11,820 --> 00:24:13,220 I'm sorry, I'm nervous! 658 00:24:13,222 --> 00:24:15,222 HAPPY: Walter, I do not like the sound of this! 659 00:24:15,224 --> 00:24:16,723 At 92 miles per hour, she is never 660 00:24:16,725 --> 00:24:18,291 gonna be able to hold onto that lance. 661 00:24:18,293 --> 00:24:19,659 I can do it! 662 00:24:19,661 --> 00:24:21,762 It's just like when I take Ralph to Medieval Times. 663 00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:22,796 You need a backup plan! 664 00:24:22,798 --> 00:24:25,799 (tires screech) 665 00:24:28,269 --> 00:24:29,870 Don't move! 666 00:24:30,838 --> 00:24:32,372 You better hope you can reach 667 00:24:32,374 --> 00:24:34,708 for that before I shoot. 668 00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:35,976 (shouts) 669 00:24:35,978 --> 00:24:37,677 I think that's my buddy's seat. 670 00:24:37,679 --> 00:24:38,879 Nice, subtle. 671 00:24:38,881 --> 00:24:40,380 All right, Walter, we found the remote user. 672 00:24:40,382 --> 00:24:41,481 I'm at his computer now. 673 00:24:41,483 --> 00:24:43,016 Then slow us down! 674 00:24:43,018 --> 00:24:44,151 It's not that easy. 675 00:24:44,153 --> 00:24:46,019 He had locked-in operational protocol. 676 00:24:46,021 --> 00:24:47,721 If I want to stop the train, I have to shut it down 677 00:24:47,723 --> 00:24:49,689 and reboot first. Not enough time! 678 00:24:49,691 --> 00:24:51,792 Paige, we're 30 seconds away from that switch! 679 00:24:51,794 --> 00:24:52,859 You got to hit that lever! 680 00:24:52,861 --> 00:24:53,927 Yeah, I can see the switch! 681 00:24:53,929 --> 00:24:54,928 I'll be able to hit it! 682 00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:56,730 We'll be okay! 683 00:25:01,769 --> 00:25:04,504 Oh, my God, I dropped it! 684 00:25:15,603 --> 00:25:17,971 Walter, we're gonna crash! Aah! 685 00:25:17,973 --> 00:25:19,272 What are we gonna do? 686 00:25:19,274 --> 00:25:22,109 I don... I don't have an answer. 687 00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:28,315 What the heck is that?! 688 00:25:28,317 --> 00:25:30,417 (panting) 689 00:25:34,155 --> 00:25:36,189 I think that's our backup plan. 690 00:25:49,804 --> 00:25:52,539 Okay. 691 00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:54,308 That was amazing, Happy! 692 00:25:54,310 --> 00:25:57,344 I told you you weren't gonna be able to hold onto that pole. 693 00:25:57,346 --> 00:25:59,513 It's done-- I shut down the remote protocol. 694 00:25:59,515 --> 00:26:01,948 (beeping) 695 00:26:01,950 --> 00:26:04,051 Walter, you should have manual control now. 696 00:26:04,053 --> 00:26:06,219 (beeping) 697 00:26:06,221 --> 00:26:08,522 Happy, I can drive this thing now-- any advice? 698 00:26:08,524 --> 00:26:10,257 Apply the brakes gradually. 699 00:26:10,259 --> 00:26:11,958 Any more than a nine percent depression rate, 700 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,427 and you will jackknife at that speed. 701 00:26:13,429 --> 00:26:14,661 Use a light hand and you'll coast 702 00:26:14,663 --> 00:26:16,196 right into the downtown station. 703 00:26:18,366 --> 00:26:20,233 Copy that. Here goes. 704 00:26:21,703 --> 00:26:24,471 (brakes screeching) 705 00:26:31,913 --> 00:26:33,780 (beeping) 706 00:26:33,782 --> 00:26:35,315 Walter, what the hell is happening?! 707 00:26:35,317 --> 00:26:36,616 Happy, we're overheating! 708 00:26:36,618 --> 00:26:38,018 That's impossible. 709 00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:40,187 Okay, unless some of the Chucky Burger grease 710 00:26:40,189 --> 00:26:41,855 leaked into the brake pads. 711 00:26:41,857 --> 00:26:45,092 Okay, lard has a flash-burn point of 301 degrees. 712 00:26:45,094 --> 00:26:47,027 The friction is heating things up. 713 00:26:48,830 --> 00:26:51,164 We've lost the brakes and we're still going 88! 714 00:26:51,166 --> 00:26:52,866 Walter, in six miles you're going to reach 715 00:26:52,868 --> 00:26:54,267 the entrance tunnel to the station! 716 00:26:54,269 --> 00:26:56,503 This train is a wide-body-- swaying at this speed, 717 00:26:56,505 --> 00:26:58,338 it'll hit the sides of the tunnel and derail! 718 00:26:58,340 --> 00:27:00,907 Maybe not! I have an idea. 719 00:27:02,910 --> 00:27:04,444 Cops will be by for you shortly. 720 00:27:04,446 --> 00:27:06,113 Doc? 721 00:27:06,115 --> 00:27:08,014 We got to get to the train station. 722 00:27:11,819 --> 00:27:13,520 I am already on my way. 723 00:27:13,522 --> 00:27:16,189 O'Brien, what exactly is your idea? 724 00:27:16,191 --> 00:27:18,091 Guys, everybody, listen to me! 725 00:27:18,093 --> 00:27:19,760 You have to get onto the next car! 726 00:27:19,762 --> 00:27:22,028 Okay? It's for your safety! 727 00:27:22,030 --> 00:27:24,531 Come on, faster! Faster! Empty the car! 728 00:27:27,969 --> 00:27:31,304 PAIGE: Now what? 729 00:27:31,306 --> 00:27:33,140 Okay, now that we've got control of the train, 730 00:27:33,142 --> 00:27:34,808 we can decouple the cars. 731 00:27:34,810 --> 00:27:36,209 The front car will crash, 732 00:27:36,211 --> 00:27:37,878 but the rear cars will slow to a stop. 733 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,279 Okay, that's part of a two-step process. 734 00:27:39,281 --> 00:27:40,881 Now, you guys get onto the next car. 735 00:27:40,883 --> 00:27:43,150 Ralph, there's an operating panel near the door. 736 00:27:43,152 --> 00:27:44,918 There's a decoupling lever-- you flip it, 737 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,353 it sends a signal. 738 00:27:46,355 --> 00:27:48,722 I accept the signal and then I have ten seconds 739 00:27:48,724 --> 00:27:49,890 to get onto your side 740 00:27:49,892 --> 00:27:51,291 before both cars separate. 741 00:27:51,293 --> 00:27:52,492 Okay, we have more than enough time, 742 00:27:52,494 --> 00:27:53,894 but you have to hurry. 743 00:27:56,030 --> 00:27:59,032 Okay, be careful. 744 00:27:59,034 --> 00:28:02,536 I will. 745 00:28:11,579 --> 00:28:14,181 Mommy, there's no decoupling lever in here. 746 00:28:23,257 --> 00:28:25,192 Walter, no! 747 00:28:25,194 --> 00:28:28,662 Someone needs to stay on here to disengage the cars. 748 00:28:28,664 --> 00:28:30,764 It's how the train was designed. 749 00:28:30,766 --> 00:28:31,998 Walter, don't do this! 750 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,100 I'm sorry. 751 00:28:34,102 --> 00:28:35,635 Walter, no! 752 00:28:35,637 --> 00:28:37,337 SYLVESTER: Walter, once you remove the weight 753 00:28:37,339 --> 00:28:40,373 of those back cars, your car will gain speed and it will ping 754 00:28:40,375 --> 00:28:42,075 around that narrow tunnel like a pinball! 755 00:28:42,077 --> 00:28:44,611 It is guaranteed death! 756 00:28:46,714 --> 00:28:48,415 And guaranteed life for Paige and Ralph. 757 00:28:48,417 --> 00:28:49,883 Walter! 758 00:28:51,352 --> 00:28:53,119 Walter, don't do this. 759 00:29:20,793 --> 00:29:22,635 SYLVESTER: Walter, you have exactly 19 seconds 760 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,639 until you reach that tunnel! 761 00:29:23,641 --> 00:29:25,274 You need to do something! 762 00:29:26,176 --> 00:29:28,678 19 seconds-- he's not gonna make it! 763 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,847 The brake cord! 764 00:29:30,849 --> 00:29:32,448 No, you know what happens 765 00:29:32,450 --> 00:29:33,716 when you pull that thing! 766 00:29:33,718 --> 00:29:35,885 I'm not gonna pull it! 767 00:29:35,887 --> 00:29:38,421 I'm gonna use it to get out of here. 768 00:29:38,423 --> 00:29:40,223 Six seconds! 769 00:29:40,225 --> 00:29:42,458 Five, four, 770 00:29:42,460 --> 00:29:43,993 three, two, 771 00:29:43,995 --> 00:29:46,696 one! 772 00:29:46,698 --> 00:29:48,164 Okay, here it comes! 773 00:30:00,944 --> 00:30:04,147 I can't see anything. 774 00:30:04,149 --> 00:30:06,315 There's nothing but twisted metal and smoke. 775 00:30:08,352 --> 00:30:10,219 WALTER: Little help! 776 00:30:16,860 --> 00:30:19,095 Oh, thank God! 777 00:30:19,097 --> 00:30:20,763 TOBY: Walter, what are you doing? 778 00:30:20,765 --> 00:30:22,031 You just hanging around? 779 00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:26,135 That joke never gets old. 780 00:30:26,137 --> 00:30:28,337 Oh, very funny. Some assistance? 781 00:30:28,339 --> 00:30:31,007 Yeah, I got you, kid. Let go! 782 00:30:34,878 --> 00:30:36,979 I guess your plans 783 00:30:36,981 --> 00:30:39,015 to work on the rocket today were derailed. 784 00:30:39,017 --> 00:30:39,982 (laughs) 785 00:30:39,984 --> 00:30:40,983 Seriously? 786 00:30:40,985 --> 00:30:42,852 PAIGE: Walter? 787 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,056 Oh, Paige, you know, next time maybe you... 788 00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:51,994 Don't ever do something like that to me again! 789 00:30:51,996 --> 00:30:53,796 Come on. 790 00:30:57,434 --> 00:30:59,402 Great, she hits harder than me. 791 00:31:15,219 --> 00:31:16,252 I would give anything 792 00:31:16,254 --> 00:31:18,221 for Happy to care enough to slap me. 793 00:31:18,223 --> 00:31:19,555 Bargaining. 794 00:31:19,557 --> 00:31:21,190 Third stage of grief. 795 00:31:21,192 --> 00:31:22,859 It's just so disheartening. 796 00:31:22,861 --> 00:31:24,961 And there's depression. 797 00:31:24,963 --> 00:31:26,329 I've counted the gold coins. 798 00:31:26,331 --> 00:31:27,797 One of them's missing. 799 00:31:27,799 --> 00:31:28,931 Oh, I'm not a thief. 800 00:31:28,933 --> 00:31:30,233 I just wanted to play Proton Arnold 801 00:31:30,235 --> 00:31:32,368 with a $2 million quarter. 802 00:31:33,470 --> 00:31:36,439 I'll go get it. 803 00:31:38,675 --> 00:31:41,944 Ooh. Yo! 804 00:31:41,946 --> 00:31:43,246 So? 805 00:31:43,248 --> 00:31:45,882 Polly knock some sense into you? 806 00:31:45,884 --> 00:31:48,384 It's Paige, and I made a calculated decision 807 00:31:48,386 --> 00:31:50,453 to save passengers. 808 00:31:50,455 --> 00:31:51,821 Whoa, see, I'm not talking about the train. 809 00:31:51,823 --> 00:31:54,023 I'm talking about you ignoring your feelings for her. 810 00:31:54,025 --> 00:31:55,191 I did have feelings, 811 00:31:55,193 --> 00:31:57,193 but now they're under control. 812 00:31:57,195 --> 00:31:59,462 Anyway, shouldn't you be back in the camper? 813 00:31:59,464 --> 00:32:03,299 Denial ain't just a river in Turkey, my friend. 814 00:32:04,034 --> 00:32:06,235 (scoffs) 815 00:32:08,071 --> 00:32:10,139 If you really believed they were controlled, 816 00:32:10,141 --> 00:32:13,676 you wouldn't feel the need to distance yourself from her. 817 00:32:13,678 --> 00:32:15,678 Right? Like saying you need to work, 818 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,280 instead of going to the museum with her 819 00:32:17,282 --> 00:32:20,049 and the-the kid, you know, with the Beatles haircut... 820 00:32:20,051 --> 00:32:21,217 His name's Ralph. Sounds right. 821 00:32:21,219 --> 00:32:23,819 Anyway, look, as your best friend, 822 00:32:23,821 --> 00:32:26,489 I can tell you, putting distance between you 823 00:32:26,491 --> 00:32:29,825 and people you care about? 824 00:32:29,827 --> 00:32:31,661 That doesn't end well. 825 00:32:36,733 --> 00:32:40,870 Is this from experience? 826 00:32:47,344 --> 00:32:48,744 This have something to do 827 00:32:48,746 --> 00:32:51,314 with the medal I saw this morning? 828 00:32:51,316 --> 00:32:53,649 You said it wasn't yours. 829 00:32:54,584 --> 00:32:56,285 Ray? 830 00:32:57,854 --> 00:33:01,490 You say we're best friends. 831 00:33:01,492 --> 00:33:03,693 Whose is it? 832 00:33:04,861 --> 00:33:07,029 Danny Tuggle. 833 00:33:09,499 --> 00:33:12,001 We joined the department together. 834 00:33:12,003 --> 00:33:16,005 Same house, same engine company. 835 00:33:16,007 --> 00:33:18,908 I-I didn't really have a family, so he and his wife-- 836 00:33:18,910 --> 00:33:21,177 they kind of, they adopted me. 837 00:33:21,179 --> 00:33:23,045 You know, I ate with them three times a week. 838 00:33:23,047 --> 00:33:26,248 I was, I was godfather to his son. 839 00:33:27,918 --> 00:33:30,953 Ten years ago, there was a five-alarm. 840 00:33:30,955 --> 00:33:33,990 Downtown. Gas line blew. 841 00:33:33,992 --> 00:33:35,925 Smoke everywhere, and I got a, 842 00:33:35,927 --> 00:33:37,626 I got a lungful... 843 00:33:37,628 --> 00:33:39,328 before I got my mask on. 844 00:33:39,330 --> 00:33:40,763 And-and-and, you know, Danny, 845 00:33:40,765 --> 00:33:42,698 he was, he was, he was down. 846 00:33:42,700 --> 00:33:43,966 He was on the ground. 847 00:33:43,968 --> 00:33:45,935 And I-I tried to... 848 00:33:45,937 --> 00:33:48,971 get his regulator on his mouth. 849 00:33:48,973 --> 00:33:52,074 (voice breaks): But I was getting dizzy. 850 00:33:53,977 --> 00:33:56,145 Wake up in the hospital. 851 00:33:57,714 --> 00:34:01,117 And Danny never wakes up. 852 00:34:03,220 --> 00:34:06,589 It was my fault. It was my fault. 853 00:34:06,591 --> 00:34:08,624 I should've got the regulator on his mouth. 854 00:34:08,626 --> 00:34:12,528 That's unfortunate. 855 00:34:12,530 --> 00:34:15,464 Was supposed to... 856 00:34:15,466 --> 00:34:17,533 present the medal to his wife at the funeral. 857 00:34:17,535 --> 00:34:21,070 But... I couldn't face her, 858 00:34:21,072 --> 00:34:25,041 her son, so I just... 859 00:34:25,043 --> 00:34:27,443 never saw them again. 860 00:34:29,546 --> 00:34:32,548 I distanced myself from people I loved. 861 00:34:32,550 --> 00:34:34,316 I was wrong. 862 00:34:36,119 --> 00:34:38,621 And you're making the same mistake. 863 00:34:40,524 --> 00:34:43,192 Don't let the distance get so far 864 00:34:43,194 --> 00:34:45,161 you can never re-couple the train. 865 00:34:46,997 --> 00:34:48,831 Okay? 866 00:35:02,012 --> 00:35:04,046 HAPPY: Cool, Chet, I will see you 867 00:35:04,048 --> 00:35:05,915 at Dorsey's in a half-hour. 868 00:35:05,917 --> 00:35:07,283 (phone beeps) 869 00:35:07,285 --> 00:35:09,785 See you jokers tomorrow. 870 00:35:09,787 --> 00:35:11,921 Good night, kid. 871 00:35:15,225 --> 00:35:16,525 I'm gonna go to that club. 872 00:35:16,527 --> 00:35:18,461 That's not a good idea, Doc. 873 00:35:18,463 --> 00:35:20,229 You really need another black eye? 874 00:35:20,231 --> 00:35:21,363 I'm not looking for trouble. 875 00:35:21,365 --> 00:35:23,132 I-I just need to see Happy... 876 00:35:23,134 --> 00:35:25,434 happy with Chet. 877 00:35:25,436 --> 00:35:27,203 And then I'm at the fifth stage of grief. 878 00:35:27,205 --> 00:35:28,471 Acceptance. 879 00:35:28,473 --> 00:35:31,140 And then I can move on. 880 00:35:35,078 --> 00:35:37,279 (door opens) 881 00:35:38,348 --> 00:35:40,549 (door closes) 882 00:35:48,458 --> 00:35:51,393 Hey. 883 00:35:52,896 --> 00:35:55,798 How is he? 884 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,967 He's out cold. 885 00:35:57,969 --> 00:36:01,203 Uh, but he did great today. 886 00:36:01,205 --> 00:36:03,639 I didn't think he could impress me any more than he has. 887 00:36:03,641 --> 00:36:06,275 And, uh, not only me. 888 00:36:06,277 --> 00:36:08,444 Tyler Goldberg texted. 889 00:36:08,446 --> 00:36:10,279 He wants a playdate with Ralph. 890 00:36:10,281 --> 00:36:11,680 Why wouldn't he? 891 00:36:11,682 --> 00:36:13,249 He's a great kid. 892 00:36:16,153 --> 00:36:18,454 Look, about before-- I shouldn't have hit you. 893 00:36:18,456 --> 00:36:19,889 I-I know you didn't mean it, so... 894 00:36:19,891 --> 00:36:21,657 No, I meant it. 895 00:36:21,659 --> 00:36:24,527 Walter, you're always thinking about 896 00:36:24,529 --> 00:36:26,228 the greater good and how everybody else needs saving, 897 00:36:26,230 --> 00:36:28,998 but I need you to be selfish for once 898 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,933 and think about yourself. 899 00:36:30,935 --> 00:36:33,602 I'm confused. 900 00:36:35,472 --> 00:36:37,006 Look at that boy over there. 901 00:36:37,008 --> 00:36:39,041 Think about how important 902 00:36:39,043 --> 00:36:40,209 you are to him. 903 00:36:40,211 --> 00:36:41,510 Think about the team, your friends. 904 00:36:41,512 --> 00:36:43,913 How important you are to them. 905 00:36:43,915 --> 00:36:46,115 Think about... 906 00:36:49,252 --> 00:36:52,821 Think about... 907 00:36:52,823 --> 00:36:55,925 how important you are to me. 908 00:36:58,028 --> 00:37:02,665 Walter, I hit you because you scared me. 909 00:37:02,667 --> 00:37:06,001 I was scared I was gonna lose you today. 910 00:37:06,003 --> 00:37:08,204 I saw you disappearing into the-the blackness, 911 00:37:08,206 --> 00:37:10,306 and it frightened me. 912 00:37:14,544 --> 00:37:15,878 CABE: Walter? 913 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,280 I need you to come with me down to this club. 914 00:37:18,282 --> 00:37:20,115 Toby's following Happy down there, 915 00:37:20,117 --> 00:37:23,052 and I'm worried things might get dicey with this Chet guy. 916 00:37:23,054 --> 00:37:24,787 Doc'll listen to you. 917 00:37:28,558 --> 00:37:30,826 You should go. 918 00:37:31,995 --> 00:37:33,262 Okay. 919 00:37:39,803 --> 00:37:42,004 (laughter, chatter) 920 00:37:45,475 --> 00:37:47,876 Holy crow, it's a comedy club. 921 00:37:47,878 --> 00:37:48,777 There's Chet. 922 00:37:48,779 --> 00:37:51,580 So, I have a six-year-old daughter. 923 00:37:51,582 --> 00:37:53,882 Please, don't clap. She looks like me. 924 00:37:53,884 --> 00:37:56,218 So, it's gonna be a tough prom season 925 00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:58,554 for a girl that looks like Freddie Mercury. 926 00:37:58,556 --> 00:38:00,990 I don't know how she's gonna do it. 927 00:38:00,992 --> 00:38:03,859 Thank you for laughing at my child's pain. 928 00:38:03,861 --> 00:38:05,227 That's very nice of you. 929 00:38:05,229 --> 00:38:07,363 Anyway, we're gonna keep open mic night going, 930 00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:10,699 uh, with someone who's brand-new to the comedy scene. 931 00:38:10,701 --> 00:38:12,601 Someone that I've trained personally. 932 00:38:12,603 --> 00:38:14,937 But if she bombs, 933 00:38:14,939 --> 00:38:16,772 I've never seen her before in my life. 934 00:38:16,774 --> 00:38:19,275 Happy Quinn, ladies and gentlemen! 935 00:38:19,277 --> 00:38:21,510 Did I fall on my head? Am I having a seizure? 936 00:38:21,512 --> 00:38:24,847 No, this is actually happening. 937 00:38:29,019 --> 00:38:31,153 Knock, knock. 938 00:38:32,689 --> 00:38:35,391 Knock, knock! 939 00:38:35,393 --> 00:38:36,959 MAN: Who's there? 940 00:38:36,961 --> 00:38:37,926 Matthew. 941 00:38:37,928 --> 00:38:39,662 MAN 2: Matthew who? 942 00:38:39,664 --> 00:38:43,766 "Math-you" could never do unless you had an IQ of 184. 943 00:38:43,768 --> 00:38:45,934 (laughing) 944 00:38:46,836 --> 00:38:48,937 What? 945 00:38:48,939 --> 00:38:51,674 Ammonia 946 00:38:51,676 --> 00:38:55,411 and sodium hypochlorite hook up at a bar. 947 00:38:55,413 --> 00:38:58,180 Everyone inside dies. 948 00:38:58,182 --> 00:39:01,216 (laughing): It's funny 949 00:39:01,218 --> 00:39:02,651 because it's true! 950 00:39:02,653 --> 00:39:04,720 HAPPY: I've been reading this great book 951 00:39:04,722 --> 00:39:06,255 on antigravity. 952 00:39:06,257 --> 00:39:07,923 I can't put it down. 953 00:39:07,925 --> 00:39:11,193 I have this new theory 954 00:39:11,195 --> 00:39:14,096 on inertia, but it's not gaining any momentum. 955 00:39:14,098 --> 00:39:15,264 (laughing): She said... 956 00:39:15,266 --> 00:39:16,565 Thank you. 957 00:39:16,567 --> 00:39:17,766 Thank you! 958 00:39:17,768 --> 00:39:20,869 (Sylvester laughing) (crowd murmuring) 959 00:39:25,141 --> 00:39:26,842 (whoops) 960 00:39:27,911 --> 00:39:29,511 That was factual. 961 00:39:29,513 --> 00:39:31,013 No, that was awesome. 962 00:39:31,015 --> 00:39:32,881 'Cause Chet isn't her boyfriend. 963 00:39:32,883 --> 00:39:34,350 He's her comedy coach. 964 00:39:34,352 --> 00:39:35,751 A terrible one at that. 965 00:39:35,753 --> 00:39:37,252 You know, all this time, 966 00:39:37,254 --> 00:39:38,854 Happy and I were doing the same thing. 967 00:39:38,856 --> 00:39:40,856 We were each subconsciously replacing the risk 968 00:39:40,858 --> 00:39:42,491 our relationship represented. 969 00:39:42,493 --> 00:39:44,126 I got into a ring, where I had no business being. 970 00:39:44,128 --> 00:39:45,894 And Happy, the world's unfunniest person, 971 00:39:45,896 --> 00:39:48,030 tried to make strangers laugh. 972 00:39:48,032 --> 00:39:51,533 We were replacing what we lost when we lost each other. 973 00:39:51,535 --> 00:39:54,136 That excitement of risk. 974 00:39:54,138 --> 00:39:55,637 This means that deep inside of her 975 00:39:55,639 --> 00:39:57,373 there is a seedling of regret. 976 00:39:57,375 --> 00:39:59,775 So you're gonna keep going after her? 977 00:39:59,777 --> 00:40:01,977 No. 978 00:40:01,979 --> 00:40:05,381 I'm gonna let that seedling grow on its own. 979 00:40:05,383 --> 00:40:08,550 If it's meant to become a mighty love oak, it will. 980 00:40:08,552 --> 00:40:10,953 I feel a lot better 981 00:40:10,955 --> 00:40:12,621 than I did when I walked in here. 982 00:40:12,623 --> 00:40:13,789 You know what? Me, too. 983 00:40:13,791 --> 00:40:15,457 Because Happy is hilarious. 984 00:40:15,459 --> 00:40:17,259 I mean, where did that come from? 985 00:40:17,261 --> 00:40:19,962 Hey, I, uh, I think I walked in on a moment 986 00:40:19,964 --> 00:40:22,698 between you and Paige in the garage, and, uh, 987 00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:23,899 sorry about that. 988 00:40:23,901 --> 00:40:26,301 It was just a conversation. 989 00:40:26,303 --> 00:40:29,071 I've been in a conversation, and that looked more like a moment. 990 00:40:29,073 --> 00:40:32,775 In physics, the term "moment" is a combination 991 00:40:32,777 --> 00:40:34,877 of the physical quantity 992 00:40:34,879 --> 00:40:36,545 and distance. 993 00:40:38,248 --> 00:40:41,183 The truth is... 994 00:40:41,185 --> 00:40:44,019 I don't anticipate that much distance 995 00:40:44,021 --> 00:40:46,422 between me and Paige moving forward. 996 00:40:46,424 --> 00:40:48,457 A friend told me distance 997 00:40:48,459 --> 00:40:50,292 wasn't a good idea, and I agree. 998 00:40:51,728 --> 00:40:53,162 CHET: Hey, guys! 999 00:40:53,164 --> 00:40:55,030 Stick around for the second show? 1000 00:40:55,032 --> 00:40:57,406 We've seen enough train wrecks in one day. 1001 00:40:57,506 --> 00:40:59,373 Now, that's funny. 1002 00:41:00,786 --> 00:41:07,286 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 71314

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