All language subtitles for Free Sale

♪ Everyone longs ♪

♪ For a home of their own ♪

♪ What a heaven on earth
it would be ♪

♪ Many may sigh
for castles of stone ♪

♪ Still there's only one
love nest for me ♪

♪ Just a little white house ♪

♪ With the little green blinds

♪ At the end of Honeymoon Lane

♪ Just a little white gate ♪

♪ At the end ♪

♪ Of Honeymoon Lane ♪

Hello?
Mr. Hill.

How are we doing today?

Okay until you called.

Listen, I know
you have some minor concerns

about the '07
that you saw the other day,

but trust me,
nothing to worry about.

I've even had
the GM himself vouch for this.

I think it's more
the fact that Jerry

has the same model
for three grand less.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Trust me,
you don't want to go to Jerry's.

You know how much
their processing fee is?

It's quite-- no, it's
three times as much as ours.

Well,
I don't know about that,

but the price is still lower.

They keep their prices so low

so they can
take advantage of you

on the other charges.

Not just the processing fee,

aftermarket, finance upselling.

Look, we don't do that here.

Everyone on my sales team
takes integrity very seriously.

And you can vouch
that this wasn't in an
accident?

I'm looking
at the paperwork right now.

Let me check if
I have an open day this week.

No, no, no, just come in
today on your lunch break.

It's very casual,
no commitments.

Okay, okay.

I guess I could
stop by around one?

Wonderful.
Looking forward to it.

Wish me luck.

Uh, aren't you
forgetting something?

Destroying the hard copy.
That's what I got you for.

- No, what about tonight?
- Yeah, don't worry about it.

I won't be home late.
I'll call you.

So you wouldn't believe
how this bad boy got to us.

I mean, every lot in town
was fighting for it,

just for the trade.

It was used in movies.
Bollywood.

I'm not big into movies.

Well, the next owner, I mean,

he had this thing
really souped up.

Cat-Back exhaust.
Custom cylinder heads.

- I mean, we're talking--
- Look, Jason.

Mason.

Mason, it's not for me.
I don't drive.

It's a graduation gift
for my son.

Oh. Well, it's still good
information to have.

Look, the price.
I'm glad that you matched it.

But Jerry is saying
his VIN report is clean,

and this one is damaged.

Way ahead of you.

I did some digging, and I found
the original paperwork.

So whatever you saw
was probably just a mistake.

M-A-S-O-N,

I don't know how you do it.

Mason.

You look happy.

Another satisfied customer,

and somewhere one more angel
loses its wings.

Well, I hope the brakes hold up.

I got a call today.

You delivered
two vans last week.

Yeah, the two 12-passengers.
You know.

Uh, I know they were
supposed to be wholesaled.

Yeah, but those
governmental types,

they always overpay.

You see the gross on it?

Mason, you sold two junkyard
pieces of shit

as accessible rides

for the city's
disabled workforce fleet.

Sounds like you plagiarized
that from an official letter.

They're threatening
to shut me down.

Hey, i-- it'll blow over.
It always does.

Mason.

In the past,

I've been able
to overlook your shenanigans.

But lately you've been
making it very difficult.

And now this.

I can't do it.

Boss, I can sell anything.

Isn't that what you want?
That's what I am here for.

Mason, I'm sorry.

I don't see
any way out of this one.

Someone's head's got to roll,

and it ain't gonna be mine.

♪ I'm happy on my own ♪

♪ Making coffee just for one ♪

♪ And eating breakfast
all alone ♪

♪ Fewer dishes to be done ♪

♪ I'm never running behind ♪

♪ You're never on my mind ♪

♪ No longer there
to make me comb my hair ♪

Hey, babe.
What you doing over there?

What day is it, Mason?

Tuesday?

Oh, just an average Tuesday?

Not our anniversary at all, huh?

Oh, no. Uh, yes.

I-- I called Gino's,

but they didn't have
a table available.

So I was just
gonna defer to you--

Oh, fuck you, Mason.

You know,
your bullshittery might work

on your dumbass customers,

but I see right through you.

- No, babe--
- Don't "babe" me.

Come on, I had a hell
of a day.

You and all your excuses.

- It never ends.
- No, but this is a good one.

Oh, a good one.
That'll be the day.

And by the way,
how drunk are you right now?

Wait, just listen.

I-- I-- I'm sorry,
Alison, but I...

I kinda sorta lost my job today.

You lost your job?

Yeah.

You're joking. How?

I lost it.

So what,
you were standing around

and all of a sudden it was like,
"Hey, where'd my job go?"

Well, look,
it wasn't exactly like I--

"I could have sworn I had
my job right here in my pocket."

Well, if I could
just explain myself--

"Hey, I've got an idea.

Let's go on
a scavenger hunt for your job."

- No, please.
-"Hello, job, you in there?"

Come on, this isn't helping.

No, wait, maybe there's
a job inside this one.

Alison!

Look, do you still
want to go to Gino's?

Maybe we can get
mozzarella sticks.

Fine.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, let's go.

You sure? Should I change?

No, let's go. Just like this.

Okay.

Hey, maybe you should
actually drive, you know?

Come on, Alison.

You-- you're not
kicking me out, are you?

Where am I supposed to go?

You can talk
your way out of anything.

You'll figure it out.

Wh-- what about all of my stuff?

No, don't do that.

No, come on. What--

Come on, Alison.

Wha-- No, those are nice suits.

Get the fuck off my property,
and out of my life.

Alison.

Alison!

Hello?
- Hey, Brian, how are--

It's David.
- David.

My-- my bad.

My contacts, man,
they're really messed up.

Uh, anyway, long time no speak.

Hey, listen, I have
a really big favor to ask.

I was wondering
if you might have a couch

that I could crash on
for a few days because--

Oh, no, that's fine.

That's fine, yeah, take care.
No worries.

Hi, saw you're looking for
a sales expert.

Thank you.

Absolutely, I can sell anything.
What is it that you guys--

We sell decorative
paper.

Decorative paper?
That's right.

Yeah, fuck it, I can--

Uh, just tell me
when to come in.

Unpaid internship.

I'm sorry, what?
Unpaid.

Unpaid internship.

Hello, Jordan?
Hey.

- Hello. How you doing?
- Hey.

How are--
Uh, yeah, I'm-- I'm great.

Um, actually, I'm not great.

Listen, Alison...

Alison kicked me out again.

This time for good, I think.

Oh, yeah, I get it.
- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, and I was wondering
if you had a couch or something

that I might be able
to crash on for a few days.

That would really be helpful.

Jordan?

Hello, Jordan?

Motherfucking God, bitch,

son of a fucking whore,
piece of shit!

Mint?

Sure.

"McGinness, Mr."

Do you like money,
McGinness, Mr.?

Has anyone in this chair
ever told you otherwise?

There have been more
than a few in that chair.

Better wash those pants.

Mr. Bendt, with all due respect,

I've been in sales
for a long time.

I know how this works.

Power in numbers,

survival of the fittest.

What is your deepest fear?

I don't know.
I-- I'd have to think about it.

Mine? Dying alone.

But then I always keep a roll
of hundreds in bed by my side.

Also, spiders.

Trust me, I don't need
the extra motivation.

Well, a self-motivated fella.

I have agents in this office

looking to take on
as much inventory as they can.

But that's not how
you'll succeed here.

You need the right property,

and I need the right man.

- You sold real estate before?
- Briefly.

I-- I sold condos
for about ten years

before I got into selling cars.

You're a buyer's agent.

I need a seller's agent.

Mr. Bendt,

I've pretty much sold
everything,

and believe me,
I'm up to the challenge.

Cindy, hold all my calls.

Well, McGinness...

you just might be in luck.

I have some of the most
unsellable properties

in this state.

One of 'em,
the foundation's being rebuilt.

It sank.

Morons built it
on a fucking swamp.

The other one...

this one...

well, it has a history
that turns people off.

What kind of history?

Oh, you know, people talk.

Had it so long, I own the deed.

Can't even give away
any of the furniture.

Furniture? Like, a bed?

You can't even give away

any of the old lady's stuff.

It's money
going down the shitter.

What's the offer?

For that one...

35%.

Shit.

Full partner.

You see, I'm serious here.

I don't want to have
anything to do with that place.

I want it gone yesterday.

Well, you could always just
burn it to the ground, right?

Well, I'm not sure.

But given your enthusiasm,

you just might be
the man for the job.

All right, McGinness,
we'll give it a shot.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you so much.

Um, I can get started today,

uh, get a feel for the place,

the layout, uh,
sleeping quarters.

I'll have Cindy set you up
with the paperwork and the keys.

Thank you. I won't let you down.

Hey.

You never told me
your worst fear.

Failure.

I think in time,

you're gonna be a little
more imaginative than that.

Jeez, no wonder no one's buying.

Oh, yeah.

We can work with this.

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

♪ Well, I've been
holding it in ♪

♪ Since I clocked
in Monday morning ♪

♪ Come the end of the week
I'm about to blow ♪

♪ We walk into the honky-tonk
like a pack of wolves now ♪

♪ Order up a round of shots
and it's away we go ♪

♪ It's a throwdown
hoedown get down ♪

♪ Order up
another round of shots ♪

♪ Gonna get drunk,
get some, have fun ♪

♪ Get into some trouble,
baby, like it or not ♪

♪ I'm a Jim Beam-drinking,
paycheck slinging ♪

♪ La-la-line dancing machine ♪

♪ It's been a helluva week ♪

♪ And I need
to blow off some steam ♪

♪ Guitar ♪

♪ Gotta blow off some steam ♪

Perfect.

♪ B-b-blow ♪

Hello?

Oh, shit.

Fuck.

Hmm.

World's most powerful oven.

I'll be sure to include that.

Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.

Hello?

Bad wiring, too?

"Beautiful country--"

No. No.

"Rustic home--"

"Idyllic abode,

will turn heads.

Will take your breath away."

It sounds like
you're selling a damn car.

"Beautiful, idyllic abode...

will remind you

of what the good life
is supposed to be.

A house is more than a home,

it's a place
where we raise our families.

We start with
the center of it all,

mom, whose warm essence
is a calm reminder

that everything
will be all right.

And then there's dad, a beacon

who will always,
always be there.

And the children--
oh, the children,

the siblings
you can forever depend on.

A connection for which
friendship is no substitute.

When we think of a house,
we think of love.

And when I think
of you in this house,

what I see above all else

is that feeling right here.

You know it when you see it.

And I look at you and I see it.

You in this home.

So eat my fucking ass,

and let's party up this bitch."

Sometimes I can't believe
my own luck.

Who's there?

Prospective client already?

Let's do it, huh? Let's do it!

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit,
upon a slitted sheet I sit.

Unique New York,
unique New York,

unique New York,
unique New York.

Hello, folks,
I'm Mason McGinnis.

But you can call me Mase.

Hello, folks, I'm Mason.

Beautiful home, isn't it?

Hi f--

Hi, fucks--
uh, folks.

You must be the Andersons.

Alderson. I'm Jean.

Ted Delancy. Jean's agent.

Excellent. Well, I'm Mason.
Please, come on in.

I've got such sights
to show you.

Let me just get
some lights on, and...

It's-- it's probably
just a bad bulb.

Or five.

But actually,
maybe that's better.

This way you can see
how unnecessary electricity is

in a house
with such ample sunshine.

It was built with that in mind.

Um, please, follow me.

As you can see,
this space is quite open.

Very welcoming.

Is this an original wood stove?

Yes, it's an 1812 original iron.

Um, a house is more than a home.

It's a place
where we raise our families.

And we start
with the center of it all.

Chicken?

Or turkey?

Oh, well, um,

a-- actually,
this is a great furnace

for a rotisserie spit.

Mm, nothing quite like
sitting back with a loved one

on a chilly winter's evening

while you're roasting
a really big chicken.

Surely there's a kitchen
for that.

Kitchen. Follow me.

Uh,

sometimes birds
can get stuck in there.

What with the flue having that,

um, classic
old-time narrow design.

What's in this room?

Um, storage.

Can we take a look?

I'm actually
missing the key for that,

but I will be happy to get you
some old photos from the office

and forward them to you.

Hey.

Hey, uh, you know,

why don't we go
check out the rest?

I think we are finally
going to have that "wow" moment.

Oh, and there's a really nice
reading room in here, too.

Maybe-- Oh! Oh!

Were those chairs
always in that spot before?

Yes.

Actually, uh, yeah,
I put those chairs there

so I could, uh, remind myself

to show you this room
on the way out.

But, uh...

...really, you gotta see
the master bedroom first.

So please, follow me.

Anyway, uh, here we go.

Brace yourselves.

I love this room.

It faces west,

so you get that beautiful
sunset glow coming through.

And a brand new rug
for those snug nights

when you want to just, uh...

unexpectedly wake up
on the floor.

I'm sorry, what?

Do you hear that?

Yeah.

It's like, a scratching.

Oh, probably
just the central air.

Few things better in a home
than central air.

It sounds like
it's coming from the closet.

Yeah, uh, yeah.

This is more
of an old-time vanity or a...

an armoire.

- Hey!
- Oh, so-- I'm sorry.

Um, that's probably just...

...it's just drafty,
you know, it's--

Yeah, like I said,
uh, central air.

So, technically,
it's a smart home!

The furniture knows exactly
when to move itself!

I'm sorry, folks,
I'm way off my game today.

This house is a steal. Really.

Don't let my bumbling
get in the way

- of such a great opportunity.
- Thanks, but no thanks.

Bendt.

Hello, Mr. Bendt?

Ho-- how are you, sir?

Ah, McGinness, Mr.
How is everything going?

Going? Well, going well.

Uh, well,
that's why I'm calling.

Uh, is there something
going on here?

Like what?

Yeah, either there's someone
messing with me in this house,

or, uh, I don't know,

maybe it's just really drafty
all the time?

Sounds to me
like what people call ghosts.

Sorry?

Ghosts! Ghosts!

Come on.

What is this,
some kind of initiation?

Oh, to tell you the truth,
it's all a bunch of hooey.

Sometimes when these
houses are built,

they're built in a way
that causes optical illusions.

Uh, you know, it's an old house.

Optical illusions?

Ah, but it's understandable
because of what happened there.

Too many murders in there.

That's why
it's so damn hard to sell.

Look, just give me a chance
to run with the big dogs.

Any prime listing
and I will sell it faster,

I will sell it for more,
and I will work for less.

I enjoy your enthusiasm

and zest for life.

However, I should remind you,

you're not technically
working for me.

You're an independent
contractor.

Which reminds me,
I'll need that W-9 form

as soon as possible.

Haunted house?
No such thing.

There's haunted dreams,
haunted relationships,

haunted memories.

Heights barely reached,
roads never taken.

I can do this.

Haunted house, my ass!

Who's in here?

Come on out!
I know someone's fuckin' around!

All right, haunted house.

Let's see if you can go
toe-to-toe with big Mase.

Suck it, ghosts.

What?
- Hi, hey, how are you?

What do you want?

I just wanted to hear
the sound of your voice.

Okay, listen to this.

Fuck off!

Alison, will you please
just listen, just one minute?

Go.

Okay, so I know
I've made some mistakes.

Actually,
I've made a lot of mistakes.

But I want you to know
that I've got a new job,

new accommodations,
and I'm back on my feet,

and more determined than ever.

Life has always
thrown me curveballs,

and I've always managed
to hit it out of the park.

Are you for real?

Yeah, definitely.

Well,
not always out of the park,

but at least
a double or a single.

Mason...

To be honest,
this place is starting to

feel like more of a bunt.

But the point is, there is
no striking out over here.

You don't get it, do you?

What?

I should've known
from the start.

All that shit with your mom.

My mom? Why are you
bringing her into this?

You know what you did.

I kept my mom from being
homeless is what I did.

You stole a lot of money

and got stripped
of your licenses.

Hey, she was in trouble.
I did what I had to do.

You didn't do it for her!
You did it for yourself.

She wound up in
a nursing home anyway.

And then you got caught,

and now all you can do are
these shitty little hustles.

You don't care
who gets screwed over

as long as your ego
doesn't get pricked.

Alison, I--

Hello?

Uh, Alison? Uh...

if you could maybe find it in
your heart to please forgive me,

we could continue
building a life together again.

Look, you sold me
on a better life.

But... it was just an empty box.

So...

consider me swindled too.

No. Don't look at it.
Don't look.

All right, come on out!

I know someone's
fuckin' with me!

You think you're
pretty clever, huh?

Fuck! Goddamn it! Dang it!

Mason?

I don't want to.

Don't make me go.

Mom?

I need to start taking it easy.

Oh, shit.

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit,
upon a slitted sheet I sit.

Hi, guys. How we doing today?

That right there is a...

silver maple.

A rare deciduous.

Is that so?

Hi. Uh, the name's Mason.

Can I, uh,
help you guys with anything?

Show you around?

Saw that the place is for sale.

Very much for sale.
Couldn't be more for sale.

And at a very low price, too,
I might add.

Such a beautiful place.

Why would anyone give this up?

Oh, the current owners
are expecting again.

Unexpectedly outgrown.

But their fortune
might favor your fortune,

because this here
is truly the perfect place

for that couple
looking to take their lives

to the next stage.

What stage is that?

Whatever stage
you want it to be.

Well... aren't you going to ask?

Ask?

Can we see the inside?

Of course. Follow me.

A little chillier
than usual today,

but fortunately we have this.

An original
hand-carved wood stove

that will warm you up
real quick.

- Lovely.
- Do you folks like cooking?

I think the previous owners
used this as a smoker.

That sounds like a fun idea.

Do you know the one thing I keep
hearing clients are looking for

in a new home?

- Closet space.
- A drink.

A new oven.

Maybe you can show us
the bedroom?

Yes, of course.
Uh, please, follow me.

I am telling you, I really love

the amount of sunlight
this room gets.

Little hot in here,
don't you think?

Well, once the central air hits,

we're talking
lap of luxury level comfort.

Still a few mechanical bugs
to be worked out,

but that will be taken care of,
not to worry.

- What do you think?
- Stop.

I-- I'm sorry,
can I get you something?

I'm sorry. My eczema.

Oh. Right.

It would just be easier
if I could get medication.

Well, it's expensive.

And yet here we are,
buying a house.

You know what?

Why don't you go take a look
inside that kitchen?

I'm just gonna show her
the, uh, new oven.

Hi, Mrs.--

Uh, actually, I don't even think
I got your names.

I like this.

The-- the kitchen?

Yeah.

It's... familiar.

Yeah. Sure, yeah.

It's got some really great
carpentry work over here,

and then what I really like--

Oh, jeez, I'm-- I'm sorry.

He-- hey,
I know it's not my place,

but is there
anything I could do?

No, it's okay.

Sometimes...

being married is hard.

You get on
each other's nerves, and...

you worry about
reaching a day where...

one of us will say
the wrong thing, and...

sometimes I have
these fantasies...

...where I beat him to it.

Like...

before he can hurt me.

Like, maybe when
he's in the shower,

I just take a knife and...

Hey...

maybe you can help me.

Could you?

Maybe you could sneak me away
before things get really bad.

Maybe you could fix it.

I'm sorry, I'm-- I'm just--
I'm just here to sell the house.

Of course.

I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to deal.

I'm sorry.
I hope I didn't frighten you.

After you.

"Looking for someone

with special abilities.

A... psychic."

Are you Claire?

Thank you so much
for responding. Uh...

So, uh, where do we start?

You've done this before, right?

I don't normally
meet up like this.

Oh.

How do you normally do it?

I don't.

So-- so you're psychic, right?

Medium.

What's that?

You don't know what a medium is?

Something between
a small and large?

A psychic can't do what I do.

Look,
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.

And just so you know,
you're talking to

a Willy Wonka-caliber
sugarcoater over here.

Sugar?

Uh...

...I have a house
I'm trying to sell,

and I need to come to
some type of agreement with...

the-- the current occupants.

I don't do eviction notices.
I'm not a public notary.

Notary public.

Okay, Dad.

Uh-- uh,
this house has a-- a bit of...

...history.

Uh, apparently anyone
that moves in kind of sort of

ends up dead.

Kinda sorta dead?

Well, more like murdered.

Kill or be killed.

Or you kill yourself.

That is a problem.

Yeah.

Uh...

apparently this has been
going back a while, and...

- Could you maybe not do that?
- No one tells me what to do.

I-- I-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. Please. Please.

I'm occasionally disingenuous.

Occasionally very, very often.

But not now. I need you.

Please. Can you help me?

I didn't tell you
how ugly that tie is.

Clients like it.

I thought the clients were dead.

Only some are dead.

I think.

How much will you pay me?

Well, I'll have you know I'm
expecting a bit of a windfall

after this transaction.

This is a freebie?

I'll make sure that
you're taken care of.

I may be full of shit
with my customers,

but ask anyone
I've ever worked for,

I will die for you
in the foxhole.

I don't even know why I'm here.

To be honest, it's been a while

since I've done
something like this.

But you can do it.

Growing up, I could see things.

Hear thoughts
that used to be there.

Sometimes the things were evil.

What'd you do?

Burned the fucker down.

Kidding.

Look...

if you pay attention,

open up to them...

they will talk back.

If you believe,

you can get them to come out.

Maybe even get them to leave.

But having gasoline on hand

probably isn't
a bad idea either.

Fuck it. I'll help you.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

I will do
whatever I can for you.

Just lose the tie.

Hi, Claire.

This it?

Yeah. Come on in.

What, uh-- Do you see anything?

Yeah,
some brain matter right there.

What's with the crosses?

Uh, I don't know.
I thought maybe

"the power of Christ
compels you" or something.

Just trying to help.

What's the activity?

Knocking, hearing voices,
moving furniture?

All of the above.

Apparitions?

Have you seen ghosts?

- Oh, yeah.
- Where?

All over.

Kitchen, hallways, bedroom.

Let's see the bedroom.

Ridiculous.

- You hear that?
- Yeah.

You're right, though.
Something is--

Yeah, that's right, be-yotch!

Door stopper.

We'll do it in here.

Tonight.

You think I should
turn off the central air?

It does provide
a lot of movement.

Stop.

No one wants to hear
about central air.

Okay.

Oh!

What's that?

Garlic.

Do you have
fucking vampires too?

Sorry, first séance.

- Hands on the table, bro.
- All right, okay.

Close your eyes.

No peeking.

I'm listening.

We know you're here.

Speak to me.

We're here to help.

I'm here to help.

Show yourself.

Show yourself.

There's someone here.

Who?

Who's here?

Claire?

Claire?

Hello?

Claire?

Who are you?

Scarlett.

Sc-- Sc-- Scar-- Scarlett,
you-- you have to leave.

This is not your house anymore.

Claire, get rid of her!

This is not your house.

We are many.

You are none.

Claire, snap out of it.

Second bedroom.

Sorry.

The very first murders
were in this room.

Two little girls.

By their own father.

Never allowed to grow up.

Doomed to this place.

Everyone who lives here
made to suffer as they did.

What about Scarlett?

Scarlett was the last.

And the angriest.

It needs more ghosts.

Yeah, but I need to
get rid of the ghosts.

This house...

likes you.

Knows you'll feed it.

Me? Why me?

Because...

you only care about yourself.

Well, that's a load of crap.

I care about lots of stuff.
I care about people.

But right now, you know
what I really care about?

Selling this goddamn house.

No, stop it! Stop that!

No! No!

No, Claire!

Claire! Claire, stop it!

This door is probably
very expensive.

Claire! Stop being possessed!
It's a total cliché!

Claire, stop!

Mason?

Mason, they're gone,
but only for a moment.

We have to go now.

I'm sorry.

They don't want me to leave.

We have to go
before they're back.

It-- it's okay. It's okay.

Ooh!

Oh, shit!

Uh... oh, man.

Uh... think, think, think. Um...

okay, you're a murderer, and
you need to hide a body. Uh...

No. No. You're not a murderer.

This was an accident.
It was clearly an accident.

Just call 911
and tell 'em what happened.

You just picked up a young girl
you met on Craigslist,

and you brought her over
to your home

in the middle of nowhere,

and she wound up dead
in the bedroom.

Okay,
you're definitely a murderer,

and you need to hide the body
while you sort things out.

Think!

Okay.

Let's just get this to the car.
It's just clothes.

It's fine. No one's gonna see.

One...

two...

three.

Who is it?

Police. Open up.

Okay. Okay.

I deserve it.

Aw, McGinness, Mr.

I'm just fuckin' with you.
Good morning!

Oh, uh, g-- good morning.
What are you, um--

What do I owe the pleasure?

Well, I thought I'd drop in
on my way to the office.

How's everything going?

Progressing.

Great.

Let's have a gander.

Well, this is a new one.

You a religious man, McGinness?

Uh, yes. Yes.

Actually, I know, you know,
this being the Bible Belt

and all, that this
might look attractive

to the, uh, evangelical crowd.

Fascinating.

Well, I'm glad you're thinking
outside of the box,

but maybe spread some of those
crosses around or something.

Of course.

Uh, Mr. Bendt, can I get you
anything to drink?

A water?

Wait.

There's a plumbing issue.

Did I ever tell you how I came
into possession of this house?

You...

lost a bet?

Precisely.

Well, I guess
you ruined my favorite story.

Wait, the--

Well, let's go look
at the old lady's room.

What in God's grand buck
happened in here?

Oh, uh, our sense of smell
is tied to memory,

and, uh, buyers,
they love a scent

that takes them back in time,
mm-hmm.

Tell me, you seen
any weird shit in here?

Ghosts?

Me?

I've never seen it.

Every time I come here,
it's the same ugly old house.

But that's what
the people always say.

Voices.

Weird shit.

Too many deaths in here,
I guess.

But you can't blame them.

Did you know that every time

there's more than one person
dwelling in this house,

one of them goes crazy
and murders the others?

Wives, kids... killed.

Isn't that something?

You seen any murders
in this house, McGinness?

Don't be such a doof.
It's all just a big coincidence.

Come on, let's go.

Well, nobody's died here yet,

so everything looks
peachy keen to me.

Just do me a favor
and clean out all that

sex orgy candle stuff

before your next prospect.

Certainly. Clear it out today.

And thank you for stopping by.

I'll make sure
to keep you updated.

Actually, let me take
a look in here really quick.

Oh, no.
This room is fine. Trust me.

Oh, yeah? Then let me see it.

Y-- You don't need
to go in there.

And why is that?

Ghosts?

Jesus H. Christ.

Good night.

Smells like
something died in here.

This yours?

What's in this?

Dirty laundry.

You're into
some weird shit, McGinness.

But actually,
you're the kind of person

I've needed all along.

Clean this place up,
for Christ's sake.

And get some more
bodies in here.

The place
ain't gonna sell itself.

Last chance, Mason.

Hey! Is this...

Be gone! Gone with you, demon!

...sycamore?

Yeah, maybe. What's it to you?

It's very nice.

Let me see
the back of your head.

Okay.

Why, is there a leaf
or something?

Um...

...you busy cleaning?

I'd love to check out
the inside.

Well, this is it.
Another sausage is made.

Where the bodies are buried.

Makes for a good spot
to incinerate one's problems.

Probably should have
thought of that.

I've read that these grounds
have a bit of a sordid history.

It's a bit of an understatement.

I'm into it.

Little added character.

- Makes for some fun stories.
- Wait!

And maybe best of all...

makes for low property value.

Dude, come on.

Let's drop the charade,
all right?

- I gotta get back to--
- I'll take it.

What?

I'll take it.

You mean, buy it?

You want to? Just like that?

I've already seen the specs.

I already know the history.

Look, I definitely
didn't come out here

to lose it to another buyer.

Why, is there anything else
I should know?

Single guy like you? You?

What was your name again?

You're single, right?

Yeah, but, uh...

It's Jim.

Jim. Jimmy.

Sir James.

You know, Jim,
a house is more than a home.

It is a place where we forge
our own trails.

We begin our own adventures.

Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Take care.

It was really great meeting you.

Aw, you too, man.

And you should have
no misgivings depositing it.

- Thank you so much.
- Partner.

Oh, no, thank you.

You've done the unthinkable.

And as an extra special token
of my appreciation...

- I don't smoke, though.
- You never know.

You could come across
some fuzzy paperwork

that probably should be burned.

So, what's next?

Next? Oh, new challenges await.

Unique properties to sell.
A robust rental market.

The trappings of office,
fame and politics.

Get this.

Cindy's stapler's gone missing.

No, no, I mean,
what is next for--

You know what? Forget it.

Oh, buck up, boy.

Don't you want to hear
how I lost that bet?

Sure.

Most fucked-up poker game
I ever played.

The winner wins
the deed to the house.

What I didn't know, though,

was that he lost the game
on purpose.

On account
of the deed being cursed.

You see?

Whoever owns the deed
owes the house lives.

Remember those nightmares
you had?

Well, every time
the house was hungry,

I had them, too.

Until I could give it
to someone to take,

so to speak.

Usually a random,
overconfident salesman would do.

Until you came along.

And wouldn't you know it?

You actually sold the damn thing
and escaped with your life.

Now, that poor sap has the deed.

And he'll pass it
to someone else when he dies.

Hello?

Hey, Mase. It's Jim.

Oh.
Hey, how are you?

Uh...
uh, everything adequate?

Yeah. Adequate.

Uh, bit of a killer headache
the last couple days.

Oh. Not feeling well?

No, I'm sure it's nothing.

But I am calling
because there's a little issue.

Okay, Jim.
I'm going to be honest with you.

Uh, you might need to do
some exorcising.

Exorcising?

Yeah. Candles.

And you want to get
a really good priest

because mediums
might not be as effective.

Okay.

I haven't the faintest clue
what you're talking about.

This is about the bedrooms?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Yeah, well, I'm thinking

there might be
an infestation upstairs.

You know, my daughter's heard

a lot of scratching
on the walls.

And...

Just the other night,

I started to hear it
in the big bedroom, too.

Daughter? Your-- your daughter?

I know this happens sometimes.

But I don't know
the first person to call

about something like that, so...

Wait, wait. I'm sorry.
Your family?

You-- you have a family living
with you at that house?

Yeah.
My daughter's here with me.

But, uh, you know...

...I don't think she knows
a contractor, either.

She's seven.

Uh, yeah, I will, uh--

I'll think about it.

Yeah, well.

We might switch rooms anyway.

She couldn't get a wink of sleep
in there the last couple nights.

Monster under the bed, you know?

Hey!

Knock it off!

Oh, shit.

Sorry.

It's the headache.

Mason? You still there?

Yes. Yeah, I'll--
I'll figure something out.

Great.

Um, appreciate it. Thanks.

Dad, can I sleep with you?

Why? It's time for bed.

But there's monsters.

There's no monsters.
No such thing.

Just try not to think about it.

Hey, you've reached Jim Neal.

Can't get to my phone right
now,

but if you leave your name
and number,

I'll get back to you
as soon as I can.

Shit!

Mr. Neal! Jim, hello!

Jim!

Hello, Jim! Come on!

Mason?

What-- what are you doing here?

Oh, uh, I just wanted to give
everything a once-over

for any, uh, quick fixes,
irregularities,

brain splatter, evidence.

Mason, what are you doing?
It's late.

Weird question.

Uh, are you having
any trouble sleeping,

or dangerous thoughts?

What are you doing right now?

I'm just having a...

...drink.

Where is your daughter?

- Are you okay?
- The closet!

What did you see? Who was it?

Mason, tell me what's going on.

Look, I want to purchase
your house back.

What?

This house. I want to buy it.

What are you, high?
You already sold it to me.

Semantics, just listen.

I want to take it
off your hands,

I'll pay you a healthy premium,

I got the money now,
I'm a partner.

Daddy.

Mason, get out of here!

Please, you have to
listen to me.

This house is a lemon, a dud.

I wasn't being honest with you.

That's my whole MO.

I'm not an honest person.

My entire career,
I bullied clients,

I cheated,
I brushed things under the rug.

Literally, like skull fragments,

evidence, the truth.

I was wrong
to have sold you this place.

You can't stay here.

Daddy!

Let's go.

Push, Jim!

I can't get it open!

Stop, Claire, it's me!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

This is all my fault.

You're just a kid.

I never should have
brought you here.

I-- I-- I promise
when this is over,

I will tell the police
everything.

And your family, your friends,
everyone will know,

so that they have peace.

You will have peace, I swear it.

No fingers crossed.

You're the best.

I'm not going to give
the whole closing speech again,

but this house
ain't a home no more.

Leaving already?

We're just trying to take them
to the next stage.

Endless possibilities.

They only try to mess with you.
They can't actually hurt you.

I think. Follow me.

Back door.

Dad!

Let him go.

Low-life peddler.

Two-bit confidence man.

You're the sucker.

Nothing I haven't already heard
from my own family before.

Mason.

Mason, I miss you.

You're not...

Mom.

Don't let them put me
in a nursing home.

Please, Mason, please.

I just want to go home.

You said you wouldn't leave me.

You left me to die in there.

You're right, I did.

I could have helped
pay the mortgage,

I could have saved
your house, but...

instead I helped sell it
and pocketed the cash.

Every bad thing that has
ever been said about me

is true.

And I am so, so sorry.

So, we're gonna make a deal.

Me, instead of them.

No deal.

You'll never get rid of us.

We are all.

And now, so am I.

Me, instead of them.

Take the deal.

Take the deal!

Jim! Jim!

Jim, Claire's body
is buried in Everpine,

just off Route 12.

Tell that to the police.

Tell them I did it.

Now, go. Now!

So, this house
is a little older,

but you do get a lot of
bang for your buck.

It's four bed, one bath.

18,096 square feet.

But it's pretty impressive.

It has some original features,

including a wood fire stove.

So, this could be your house.

What are you gonna do now?

I don't know.

I guess I have eternity to watch
other people's mistakes.

This must be your hell.

How so?

All these people
and no one to sell to.

It's more peaceful
than I would have imagined.

Being a part of it
without all the stress.

Come on, it's not so bad, is it?

Bad?

It fucking sucks.

I can't even have any sugar.

It's better this way. Trust me.

How so?

Sugar will kill you.

Quick!

♪ Got feel it in heaven
when my lover's near ♪

♪ Lord, let this moment last
for another year ♪

♪ Though today has ended,
the night's still young ♪

♪ I'd say ♪

♪ Lover, don't go away ♪

♪ Let it be
what I am longing for ♪

♪ Let's fly out from Manhattan

♪ To the California shore ♪

♪ Just to watch
the ships at night ♪

♪ On the San Francisco Bay ♪

♪ Oh, lover, please,
please stay ♪

♪ Don't say you have to go ♪

♪ Don't say you need to run ♪

♪ I stop the clock
on Central Station ♪

♪ And we can have
a drink downtown ♪

♪ Let it be the night
that I am longing for ♪

♪ Let's fly down south ♪

♪ To Austin or to Ecuador ♪

♪ Just to drink piña colada ♪

♪ On a hot, wet summer's day ♪

♪ Oh, lover, please,
please stay ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Oh, lover ♪

♪ Oh, lover ♪

♪ Oh, lover ♪

♪ Please, please stay ♪

♪ Please stay ♪

♪ Please stay ♪