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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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- Sheldon Cooper.
- What?
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00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:10,140
I finished reading it.
My name's Sheldon Cooper.
4
00:00:10,170 --> 00:00:13,096
- What... You finished it?
- Yes.
5
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,249
Impressive.
6
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Wha... You should major
in computer science.
7
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No, thanks. I'll stick to real science.
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Excuse me, but you're not Evan.
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True.
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- Where's Evan?
- Elsewhere.
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- So you don't know?
- True.
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Oh, good. You met Joaquin.
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Proper introductions were not made.
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What's he doing here?
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Uh, he's helping me write an algorithm
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so, uh, we can beat the stock market.
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Why?
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Uh, well, so we can get rich,
buy cool cars and get girls.
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00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,340
But mostly the girls.
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Isn't the search for knowledge
its own reward?
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Uh, yeah, sure, if the knowledge
helps you get girls.
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That seems like a lot
of unnecessary effort
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just to meet females.
24
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Yeah, we've tried talking to them.
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Actual disaster.
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You want to help us?
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I don't need to meet girls.
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In fact, I'd like to know
fewer people, not more.
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You could use the money to
buy yourself something fun.
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Ooh, like a particle accelerator
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or 100 tanks of liquid nitrogen.
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I was thinking of a hot tub, but okay.
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I can't get you to take a shower,
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and-and you want a hot tub?
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Girls like hot tubs.
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How much would it cost to
build a particle accelerator?
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Conservatively, four
to ten billion dollars.
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Then you need to help us.
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Hmm. Well, I haven't done much coding,
40
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but I am good at everything.
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Okay, I'm in charge.
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Scoot.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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- What are you watching?
- Travis Lemon.
45
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The crazy church guy?
46
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He's not crazy.
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Well, his hair is.
48
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Well, I got news for y'all.
49
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Jesus wants you to prosper.
50
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He wants you to have nice
things, a life of abundance.
51
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Says so right here in the book.
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"My God shall supply all your
needs according to His riches
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in glory by Jesus Christ."
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He's right. It does say that.
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When's it's over? I want to watch MTV.
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Reverend Travis has a band.
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They rock pretty hard.
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The same is true for you.
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Jesus fed 5,000 people
with five loaves of bread,
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but somebody had to
give him those loaves.
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And that's what I need from you.
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Every dollar you donate to
the Travis Lemon ministry
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will be returned to you tenfold!
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Tenfold, my sweet patootie.
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As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
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Daphne, get the address on the screen?
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_
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So you get the checkbook out,
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and you show how much you love the Lord,
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and the Lord will love you back.
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And when your neighbor asks you,
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"Where'd you get that new Cadillac?"
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you tell 'em, "On the corner
of Heaven and Saved."
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Oh, what the heck.
75
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All right, Steve-arooni, let's hit it!
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- Hey, Missy.
- Hey. What are you doing?
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Just breaking in my
new shoes for school.
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They're brown.
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Cool. Can I watch your TV?
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Sure.
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That squeaking you're
hearing is my new shoes.
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♪ Getting edgy all the time... ♪
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Where's your mom at?
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She went to my Aunt
Sylvia's for a few days.
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Aunt Sylvia has a big lump on her neck.
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So you're alone?
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Just me and my chickens.
88
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Billy, we have to throw a party.
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For the chickens?
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- No! For us!
- Why?
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What do you mean "why"?
Your mom's not home.
92
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What would we do? Play games?
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00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,862
Yeah, drinking games.
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Like when you paid me a dollar
to chug a gallon of milk?
95
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,160
That was a different
game, and I'm sorry.
96
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:05,745
Boy, did I throw up.
97
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,247
For this party, I'm thinking beer.
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00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,749
We're not old enough to drink beer.
99
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That's why kids'll come.
100
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,640
Smart.
101
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,962
Do you think they'll like eggs?
102
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I have so many eggs.
103
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,979
What's that A-sub-one-variable?
104
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:21,009
It's undefined.
105
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,999
It's defined in the previous subroutine.
106
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Oh, my. That is elegant.
107
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We don't use the word "elegant."
108
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,976
Why? What's wrong with it?
109
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Well, last semester,
I invited a girl to my room
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00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:33,879
to look at my elegant coding,
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00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,859
and... she called the police, so...
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00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,320
Understood. So what happens next?
113
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,323
Uh, we just buy the stocks
the algorithm suggests.
114
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,034
- With what?
- Our student loan money.
115
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How much are you in for?
116
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Oh, my mother's always warned me
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against the evils of gambling.
118
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,929
Well, it's not gambling, it-it's math.
119
00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:55,628
Is your mother against math?
120
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,019
Well, when you use it to prove the
Earth wasn't made in seven days,
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she gets a little touchy.
122
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,929
It's your call.
123
00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:03,762
Particle accelerator,
or no particle accelerator?
124
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,307
Let me fetch my money sock.
125
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,648
You keep your money in a sock?
126
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,650
My meemaw keeps her money in her bra.
127
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,736
Does she like hot tubs?
128
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,259
So how are you and Dale getting along?
129
00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:26,325
Well, I rode a bike seven miles
130
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,036
to have coffee with you,
so that should tell you.
131
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,330
Not going well?
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00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,039
Oh, it's fine.
133
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,039
It's just, after you've lived
by yourself for a long time,
134
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,461
having a roommate takes
a little getting used to.
135
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,923
I'm sure Dale's doing his best.
136
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,300
That's my fear.
137
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:46,429
Mare, what's this $50 to an "R.T.L.M."?
138
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,459
Reverend Travis Lemon Ministries.
139
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:49,724
I made a donation.
140
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:51,809
The goofy guy with the hair?
141
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,269
He's not goofy,
142
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,647
and he preaches the gospel
in a way that speaks to me.
143
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,429
Yeah, well, let me speak to you.
144
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,569
We can't be throwing away 50 bucks.
145
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:02,050
We are not throwing it away.
146
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,447
We are gonna get that
money back plus some.
147
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,619
Oh, honey, now, come on.
148
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,409
You can't possibly believe that B.S.
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00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,420
Maybe.
150
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:12,509
Reverend Travis says that
Jesus wants us to prosper.
151
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:13,829
Is that why he huffed and puffed
152
00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:15,291
and blew my house down?
153
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,200
- I'm cancelling this check.
- Don't you dare.
154
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,045
Mary, this is groceries for a week.
155
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,349
We will get it back.
156
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:21,964
We just need to have faith.
157
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,425
Will you talk some sense
into your daughter?
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If I could talk sense into her,
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00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:27,887
she would never have married you.
160
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,259
She had to marry me
because I got her pregnant.
161
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Ha!
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Huh.
163
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He ain't wrong about the money.
164
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Thank you!
165
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Well, gentlemen, we've
doubled our income
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in a little over eight hours.
167
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I'm gonna need a bigger sock.
168
00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:52,449
The good news is,
our algorithm is working,
169
00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:54,538
and it's getting more
efficient with every trade.
170
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,320
Which is why we have to stay strong.
171
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We can't expect to be
millionaires overnight.
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It'll take... 12 to 14 business days.
173
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It's actually gonna happen.
174
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I'm gonna have sex.
175
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- Where are you going?
- To take a shower.
176
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,600
Hey, can I talk to you?
177
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,394
Yeah. What's up?
178
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Actually, in there.
179
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You ain't pregnant, are you?
180
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,607
No. How could you say that?!
181
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,025
Been known to happen.
182
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Okay.
183
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,200
So, Billy's mom's away,
and we're throwing a party.
184
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,576
All right.
185
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,079
Do you think if I took some
of Dad's beer, he'd notice?
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Do you think he'd notice?
187
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,457
Okay, dumb question.
188
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,877
Anyways, you're too young.
You shouldn't be drinking.
189
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You just asked if I was pregnant.
190
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,172
Well, don't do either.
191
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,426
So you wouldn't buy us a case
of beer if I gave you the money?
192
00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,636
Missy, I'm not old enough to buy beer.
193
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,304
That's never stopped you before.
194
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,056
And I'm ashamed of myself.
195
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I'll tell you what I can do.
196
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I got something for a party
197
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- that's better than beer.
- What?
198
00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:04,129
Bottle rockets, Roman candles,
199
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:05,693
M80s, the works.
200
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,738
Oh, sure. Thanks.
201
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,409
You're not excited now, but trust me,
202
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:13,325
you blow up one mailbox,
and you got yourself a party.
203
00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:20,840
- Need a hand?
- Yeah, sure.
204
00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:29,467
Hey, so, when you were my
age, did you go any parties?
205
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:31,259
Oh, yeah.
206
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,972
The good ones I remember,
the great ones... gone.
207
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,599
That is so cool.
208
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,870
Ah, I was pretty cool.
209
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:39,650
You get invited to one?
210
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,356
- Kind of.
- Ooh, tell me.
211
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:46,859
I'm sort of helping my friend throw it.
212
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:50,071
First party. That's a big deal.
213
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,322
Any advice?
214
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:55,690
Hmm. Well, for starters, music is key.
215
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,259
You want it good, you want it loud,
216
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:58,800
but not so loud the cops come.
217
00:08:58,810 --> 00:09:01,290
Although, if they do, you're a legend.
218
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,416
Damn.
219
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,089
And if you have make-out spots,
220
00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:05,369
you want to keep 'em private,
221
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,449
but not too private.
222
00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:07,850
You know, closets, pantries.
223
00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,381
You want to keep your guests standing.
224
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,509
- Makes sense.
- Mm-hmm.
225
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:16,390
And, um, I've heard at some of
these parties there's drinking?
226
00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:19,850
Oh.
227
00:09:20,470 --> 00:09:23,309
Well... yeah, sometimes,
228
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:28,550
but, uh, fun can be had without... it.
229
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,159
Uh-huh, but just in case,
230
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,490
would you buy it for us?
231
00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:35,990
- No.
- Why not?
232
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,560
- Because you're a kid.
- You were a kid.
233
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,650
- Yeah, but it was different.
- How?
234
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:44,875
The point is, I'm a mom now.
235
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,239
- A cool mom.
- Not that cool.
236
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,849
Besides, the only underage person
237
00:09:48,850 --> 00:09:51,660
that I'm gonna buy alcohol
for is the father of my child.
238
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,260
You really aren't cool.
239
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,182
Thanks for seeing me.
240
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,434
Of course, my door is always open.
241
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,646
- Smoke?
- I'm good. I'll just breathe in yours.
242
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,059
Suit yourself.
243
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,445
Could we have a little privacy?
244
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,570
I'll just be listening at the door.
245
00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:18,784
She does.
246
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,077
So, what can we do for you?
247
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,499
Well, I was thinking maybe it was time
248
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,169
for Mary to come back to the church.
249
00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:25,040
You know, be a part of your herd again.
250
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,333
We say flock.
251
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,969
Although, Texas... herd works.
252
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:30,630
With all the beef and whatnot.
253
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:34,091
Well, Mary's always welcome.
254
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,589
Great.
255
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:38,137
Oh. Maybe you could use her
back here in the office.
256
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,680
Nah, we got things covered.
257
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,976
Do you need to answer that?
258
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,269
No, they'll call back.
259
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,770
Peg, please.
260
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,420
All right, bossy.
261
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,575
So, uh... what do you think?
262
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:01,452
Mary said she wants to come back?
263
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,130
Not in so many words.
264
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,359
But I know if you asked her,
265
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,189
it would just mean the world to me,
266
00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:08,589
to her, to us...
267
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:09,960
To God.
268
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,503
I'll pray on it.
269
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,810
Great.
270
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,718
I'll pray on it later.
271
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,510
Right. Sure.
272
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,360
Fascinating.
273
00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:31,315
Why aren't you doing what I tell you?
274
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,809
We rich yet?
275
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:34,401
Yeah, we better be.
276
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,570
Evan went nuts. He got garlic sticks.
277
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,660
Did either of you
authorize the algorithm
278
00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:40,030
to make foreign trades?
279
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,076
- No.
- No.
280
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,535
Well, that's what it's doing.
281
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,339
We own 7,000 shares of
Chow Fat Enterprises
282
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,916
on the Hong Kong exchange.
283
00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:50,209
Fascinating.
284
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,460
That's what I said.
285
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,464
It's trading on its own?
286
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,619
It would seem so.
287
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:59,139
Uh, we... need to stop it,
pull the plug.
288
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:01,971
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Are we up or down?
289
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,013
We're up.
290
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,556
Then what's the problem?
291
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,601
The problem is we've lost control.
This is Frankenstein's monster.
292
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,228
You say that like it's a bad thing.
293
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,479
What?
294
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,779
To reanimate life was an
incredible scientific achievement.
295
00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:15,442
The real bad guys in the story
are the ignorant villagers.
296
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,070
You were on the monster's side?
297
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,749
Unfairly hounded for being different?
298
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,240
- You betcha.
- Guys, guys, guys.
299
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,029
Chow Fat stock just split.
300
00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,535
We have 14,000 shares.
301
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:28,359
So, we created an algorithm
that's evolving by itself
302
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,250
and becoming a new form of intelligence?
303
00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:32,909
And I, Sheldon Cooper,
304
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:34,960
wholeheartedly think it's terrific.
305
00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:37,048
It may be listening.
306
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,928
How do we do this?
307
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,270
We just got to wait for someone
308
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,449
who's old enough to buy beer
309
00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:47,224
but young enough to be cool.
310
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,310
Got it.
311
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:51,219
- Try him.
- Excuse me, sir...
312
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,720
Buy your own beer.
313
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,732
Thank you.
314
00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:56,359
I think he was onto us.
315
00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,738
Let me try.
316
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,239
- Hey.
- Hey.
317
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,534
Would you buy me beer?
I forgot my ID at home.
318
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,952
How old are you?
319
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,239
Um...
320
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,330
thirty.
321
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,458
Twenty-five?
322
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,793
This isn't working.
323
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,690
Maybe the party was a bad idea.
324
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,720
Hey, mister,
325
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,799
will you buy us some beer?
326
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,430
I'm not old enough.
327
00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:27,556
Those guys thought I was a grown-up.
328
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,016
Billy!
329
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,559
What?
330
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,770
- Here's your change.
- Thank you.
331
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:36,199
♪ I'm on my way to Italy ♪
332
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,769
♪ From the Gulf of Mexico... ♪
333
00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:39,902
You can go now.
334
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,860
Thank you.
335
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:46,241
Howdy, neighbor.
336
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,827
Pastor Jeff, how nice to see you.
337
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,245
Am I interrupting anything?
338
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,650
No, no, come on in.
339
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,293
So, what brings you by?
340
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,939
Well, I've been thinking, uh,
341
00:13:58,940 --> 00:14:00,580
we really miss you over at the church
342
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,384
and maybe you might
consider coming back.
343
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,640
Well...
344
00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:08,670
that's awful kind of you,
but I've joined a new church.
345
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,760
Oh! The Methodists got you, didn't they?
346
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:13,769
Oh, no. Reverend Travis Lemon.
347
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,269
Oh, not the fella with the hair.
348
00:14:16,270 --> 00:14:19,040
Mary, he's a snake oil salesman,
349
00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:21,985
taking people's money and
promising 'em all kinds of riches.
350
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,490
Well...
351
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:29,360
Then how do you explain this
check I got from the IRS?
352
00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:31,328
$800.
353
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,839
I sent Reverend Travis $50
354
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,540
and that came the very next day.
355
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,840
Oh, come on.
356
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,795
It had to be in the mail
before you sent your money in.
357
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,130
Did it?
358
00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,259
Of course.
359
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:44,220
I'm as patriotic as the next guy,
360
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,269
but our postal service flat-out sucks.
361
00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:48,554
Excuse my French.
362
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,130
Well, we disagree.
363
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:54,440
Reverend Travis says that the
Lord wants me to be prosperous
364
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:55,812
and I believe him.
365
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:58,120
This is nothing but a coincidence.
366
00:14:58,140 --> 00:14:59,565
You overpaid your taxes,
367
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,734
you got a refund, Jesus
has nothing to do with it.
368
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,320
You sound like Sheldon.
369
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:08,574
I believe I know my way out.
370
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,900
Mm.
371
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,649
♪ Like me care for you? ♪
372
00:15:13,650 --> 00:15:15,539
- ♪ Ah ♪
- ♪ Why do I bother... ♪
373
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,040
Help me move this, will you?
374
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,418
- What are you doing?
- Making a dance floor.
375
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,490
- I'm a very good dancer.
- Really?
376
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,469
My mom says so. Watch.
377
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:25,549
♪ I saw the sign ♪
378
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,199
♪ And it opened up my eyes... ♪
379
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,729
I'll get it.
380
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:31,013
♪ Life is demanding... ♪
381
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,015
- Sparks' residence.
- Hey, sweetie.
382
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,559
- Oh. Hey, Mom.
- You okay there all by yourself?
383
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,730
I'm not by myself, Missy's here.
384
00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:40,100
W-wait, she's not here.
385
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,523
Put her on.
386
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:42,649
Okay.
387
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,600
♪ But where do you belong? ♪
388
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:46,987
Hey, Mrs. Sparks.
389
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,197
What are y'all up to?
390
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,364
Just hanging out.
391
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,370
Cut the crap.
392
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:51,742
You throwing a party, ain't you?
393
00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,577
What? No.
394
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,500
Relax, I'm all for it.
395
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,290
I want my son to have a life.
396
00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:59,625
Wait, he's invited, right?
397
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,585
'Course. We're just
making a dance floor.
398
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,712
Oh, God, Missy, do not let him dance.
399
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,829
♪ Bring me joy? ♪
400
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:07,739
♪ Under the pale moon. ♪
401
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:10,720
Lord, I know everyone
thinks I'm being foolish
402
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,420
giving money to Reverend Travis,
403
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:15,350
but why wouldn't you
want us to be prosperous?
404
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,680
You love us, it makes sense.
405
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:21,349
And I got that IRS check,
which feels like a sign.
406
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:24,089
And I think I know a
sign when I see one.
407
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:26,236
Ugh. Oh!
408
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:29,321
Oh!
409
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,739
Ew!
410
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,907
What's going on?
411
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,910
A bird did its business in my eye.
412
00:16:34,450 --> 00:16:36,078
Better than your mouth, right?
413
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,580
You think you're funny?!
414
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,332
Yeah.
415
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:41,416
We may have a problem.
416
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:42,584
Oh, what's wrong?
417
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:45,003
The program's running really
slow. We're losing money.
418
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,340
Well, what's happening?
It was fine this morning.
419
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,470
I don't know if this is related,
420
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:51,135
but I did add a new subroutine.
421
00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:52,886
To do what?
422
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,100
To resolve the inconsistencies
423
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,390
between general relativity
and quantum mechanics.
424
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:57,724
Why would you do that?
425
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:58,959
Because our algorithm's so smart
426
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,936
and it's the biggest unanswered
question in the universe.
427
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,312
But it's messing with the computer.
428
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,522
We're losing money.
429
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,607
What about my car? What about girls?
430
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:08,020
Rest assured, you solve
general relativity,
431
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,240
the girls will be lined up
around the block to kiss you.
432
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:17,169
Someone's having a party
and we weren't invited.
433
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,330
Gosh darn it.
434
00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:33,310
Stupid car.
435
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,840
Oh!
436
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,420
- Make it stop.
- I'm trying, it doesn't want to.
437
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,353
I think it finds the
question too interesting.
438
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,989
Ooh, but it's messing with the computer.
439
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:47,400
- We're losing everything.
- I don't know what else to do.
440
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:56,800
You could have just unplugged it.
441
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:58,760
Or at least opened the window.
442
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,900
I showered for nothing.
443
00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:10,140
You know, honey, nothing much you can do
444
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,965
about a broken toe.
445
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,967
Unless you think Reverend
Travis can fix it.
446
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,636
Maybe I'll stick it up your butt.
447
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,650
Mary Cooper. Language.
448
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:19,739
I'm going to bed.
449
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:22,520
Ah!
450
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,600
I'm in.
451
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:31,130
My bottom is scorched, don't look at it.
452
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,370
And as we're passing
the collection plate,
453
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:43,409
let's give a warm welcome to the Coopers
454
00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:45,415
who are back in the fold.
455
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,418
Our donation room is looking a
little empty after the tornado.
456
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:50,469
So please bring in your canned goods,
457
00:18:50,470 --> 00:18:51,679
your used clothing...
458
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:55,679
Is that beer?
459
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:56,802
Oh, my...
460
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,349
Anyway, welcome back Coopers.
461
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:03,049
Please turn to page 37 in your hymnals.
462
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:06,900
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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