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1
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:07,989
[birds chirping]
2
00:00:08,250 --> 00:00:12,845
Oh, man, these beauties
would diaper up real nice.
3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,513
[Homer singsongy]
Dad!
4
00:00:14,664 --> 00:00:16,515
We've got wonderful news.
5
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:20,352
It's a gift we've been hoping
to give you for years.
6
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,596
You're finally
off the wait list.
7
00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:24,839
A better room opened up.
8
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,525
[gasps] Hot diggity!
9
00:00:26,752 --> 00:00:28,085
Not diggity.
10
00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:29,528
This room is tiny.
11
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:30,771
How's it better?
12
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,365
Better for us. It's cheaper.
13
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,925
Much cheaper.
14
00:00:35,018 --> 00:00:36,976
Wouldn't you rather
we spend that money
15
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:39,020
on your grandkids' education?
16
00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,189
No! They're dumb as dirt.
17
00:00:41,283 --> 00:00:43,024
Look on the bright side.
18
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,769
You're right next
to the ice machine.
19
00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:47,463
[ice dispensing loudly]
20
00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:50,107
And the pill machine.
21
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,259
[pills dispensing loudly]
22
00:00:53,962 --> 00:00:55,537
And how about
this beautiful view
23
00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:58,390
they painted on
the cinder block wall?
24
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,133
It's too bright!
25
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:02,469
And what about all my stuff?
26
00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:04,454
You'll just have to
get rid of some of it.
27
00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,790
And once you're used to
this smaller space,
28
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:10,569
it'll ease your transition
to a cozy pine box.
29
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,238
Pine? You promised me
black walnut.
30
00:01:13,465 --> 00:01:15,482
Oh, of course, of course.
31
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,493
Only the best for my dad.
32
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,658
What about this shoe tree?
33
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,643
Does it bring you joy?
34
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,403
It makes me furious!
35
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,546
I'm keeping it.
36
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:33,092
Whoa, Grampa, what's all this?
37
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,427
Eh, that's just
all my old war stuff.
38
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:36,762
Can I have it?
39
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:40,507
Oh, it warms my heart to
know my precious memories
40
00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:44,311
are going to someone
who will cherish them.
41
00:01:47,757 --> 00:01:49,333
So how much will you give me
for all this crap?
42
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:52,760
Well, most of these medals
are for cowardice.
43
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,364
Does this thing even work?
44
00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,267
Mm, four, three, two...
45
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,527
Nothing.
46
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,770
I'll give you
a hundred dollars store credit.
47
00:02:02,865 --> 00:02:04,865
A hundred dollars? Awesome!
48
00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:07,684
No switchblades
or cyanide pills.
49
00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:08,776
[sputters] Damn it.
50
00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:11,371
Eh, nah.
51
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:12,631
Mm-mm. [scoffs]
52
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:14,374
Mm-mm. Nope.
53
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:15,467
[scoffs]
54
00:02:15,544 --> 00:02:16,784
[groans, scoffs]
55
00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:17,785
Ooh!
56
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:20,530
Army comic book about "VD"?
57
00:02:20,549 --> 00:02:23,183
Why wouldn't I want
to catch Valentine's Day?
58
00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:25,978
Oh, my God, are you there?
59
00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:27,980
It's me, Margaret.
60
00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:29,206
[angelic choir sings]
61
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:31,799
-Is that...
-You better believe it.
62
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,468
A human brain.
63
00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:36,713
My life up to now
has been merely a prelude.
64
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,492
Today a prank king
becomes a prank god.
65
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,402
I want to buy your brain!
66
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,706
[heavy metal version of
"The Simpsons Theme" playing]
67
00:02:49,244 --> 00:02:51,587
? ?
68
00:02:57,419 --> 00:02:59,094
[beeping]
69
00:03:08,247 --> 00:03:10,022
[tires squealing]
70
00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:17,696
[cat yowls]
71
00:03:18,941 --> 00:03:21,200
[all exclaim, scream]
72
00:03:21,427 --> 00:03:22,993
[laughing]
73
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,355
So you see, Comptroller Atkins,
74
00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:29,374
we have put
your new funding to use.
75
00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:32,602
We've redone the cafeteria floor
and the ceiling,
76
00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:34,955
and we've added
exciting new menu options.
77
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,440
Indeed.
78
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,534
Today the children are enjoying
a panoply of nutrition.
79
00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:43,113
Split pea soup, clam chowder,
both varietals.
80
00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:45,282
Bart, are you really
gonna do it?
81
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:48,118
Guys, it's me, the Bartman.
82
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,135
[chuckles]
83
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,971
This is happening.
84
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,565
Venison chili, beef bourguignon,
85
00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:55,308
a vibrant Indian curry--
86
00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,570
And best of all,
brain under glass!
87
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:01,365
[students gasping, gagging]
88
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:05,410
[Skinner]
Bart, you did far more damage today
89
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,247
than just ruined some administrators' suits.
90
00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:10,824
We may be wearing clothes
from the lost and found,
91
00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:13,067
but you are truly lost.
92
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,328
Today you traumatized
scores of students,
93
00:04:15,481 --> 00:04:18,257
rendered the cafeteria
uninhabitable for weeks.
94
00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:20,742
And worst of all, worst of all,
95
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:23,320
you-you broke Willie.
96
00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:24,654
Chunks.
97
00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:26,506
So many chunks.
98
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,600
What do you have to say
for yourself?
99
00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:29,768
I regret nothing.
100
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,496
I'll gladly accept whatever book
you throw at me,
101
00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:35,923
because there's no way
I could ever live with myself
102
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,776
if I hadn't done this today.
103
00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:40,020
So give me all the F's,
send me to juvie
104
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:43,598
or even kill me,
because I'm already immortal.
105
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,766
And when I do die--
106
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,009
Oh, shut up.
107
00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:47,769
Four weeks' detention
and you're not going
108
00:04:47,863 --> 00:04:50,180
on the trip
to Colonial Shelbyville.
109
00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:52,291
You will be confined
to the detention trailer
110
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,351
while other students
delight in learning
111
00:04:54,353 --> 00:04:56,295
how bricks were once made.
112
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,538
Um, Principal Skinner, if I may.
113
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,615
I believe we can deal
with Bart's behavior
114
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,375
in a more constructive way.
115
00:05:02,528 --> 00:05:05,378
Turn this into
a learning opportunity.
116
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,955
[Chalmers]
It's not a learning opportunity.
117
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,215
It's a punishing opportunity.
118
00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:10,642
The boy should suffer.
119
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,719
He brought
a human brain to school.
120
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,706
Exactly. And I think he should
bring it to school every day.
121
00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,041
Learn to take care of it,
122
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,468
journal his experience,
gain a sense of
123
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:24,305
[in slow motion]
responsibility.
124
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,049
No, no, please don't do this!
125
00:05:26,218 --> 00:05:27,400
I'm begging you!
126
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,720
Pale skin, sweaty lip,
twitchy eye.
127
00:05:30,739 --> 00:05:32,164
Now, that's suffering.
128
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,458
Ms. Peyton, make it so.
129
00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:37,461
[Skinner and Chalmers laughing]
130
00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:39,396
[groans]
Oh!
131
00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:43,258
My greatest prank
has become homework.
132
00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:50,515
For the next two weeks,
everyone is responsible
133
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,019
for the care and protection
of a fragile and helpless egg.
134
00:05:54,096 --> 00:05:55,912
Or in Bart's case, a brain.
135
00:05:55,914 --> 00:05:57,263
[students]
Ew!
136
00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:00,174
[groans] I don't want to lug
this thing everywhere I go.
137
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,585
I had my fun for five minutes,
138
00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:03,603
and now I want
to move on with my life.
139
00:06:03,755 --> 00:06:05,179
And that's parenthood.
140
00:06:05,273 --> 00:06:09,426
Aw, man, how do I even know
this thing's mine?
141
00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:13,521
Um, I'm going out
for candy cigarettes.
142
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,099
Be right back, slugger.
143
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:19,436
Be sure to keep your
caregiver journal up to date,
144
00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:21,938
because that's
what you'll be graded on.
145
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:24,124
[groans] Using a human brain
for homework?
146
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,943
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
147
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:29,036
[Bart's brain]
You know, Bart, I'm your brain, too,
148
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,556
and I can help you study all your subjects.
149
00:06:31,783 --> 00:06:34,951
Shut up, stupid, or I'll go back
to sniffing permanent markers!
150
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:36,210
[Bart's brain]
I'll be good.
151
00:06:36,304 --> 00:06:38,271
? ?
152
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,065
[over TV]
? The Itchy and Scratchy Show. ?
153
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,976
Hey, Bart, do you really think
154
00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:01,903
Itchy and Scratchy
is appropriate
155
00:07:01,997 --> 00:07:04,330
for a developing mind?
156
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,907
It's not a baby.
157
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,218
It's a glop of gunk
in a jar of goo.
158
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,746
Your baby journal's
pretty empty.
159
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,824
Are you sure this isn't
your second fake kid?
160
00:07:14,843 --> 00:07:17,018
[laughing]
161
00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:20,997
Oh, this sucks.
I need some me time.
162
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,999
I'm going to Milhouse's
to watch reaction videos
163
00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:24,592
to reaction videos.
164
00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:27,112
Your teacher wouldn't like
you leaving your baby all alone.
165
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:28,930
Unless you get a sitter.
166
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,858
Last minute? I'll never find
someone on such short notice.
167
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:33,118
Unless...
168
00:07:33,269 --> 00:07:37,013
Uh, Dad, would you watch
your grandson tonight?
169
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,683
[scoffs] No. I told you
to get rid of it, remember?
170
00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:41,460
Oh, come on, please?
171
00:07:41,687 --> 00:07:43,295
I need some me time.
172
00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,538
Well, I guess I could give it
the same love
173
00:07:45,691 --> 00:07:48,208
and attention I gave you
when you were a baby.
174
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,117
I'm sorry, Homer.
175
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,637
I'm not accepting organs
as payment.
176
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:53,788
Anymore.
177
00:07:53,882 --> 00:07:55,031
Nah, it's just my kid's brain.
178
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,549
They grow up so fast.
179
00:07:56,702 --> 00:08:01,204
Guys, I just found out I'm next
on the list for a new liver!
180
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,872
-[cheering]
-Yay!
-All right!
181
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:04,149
Then let's give the old liver
182
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:06,392
one last night
he'll never forget.
183
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,635
Set 'em up, Moe.
184
00:08:07,729 --> 00:08:09,321
[chanting]
One last night!
185
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:10,897
-One last night!
-[Barney exclaims]
186
00:08:11,066 --> 00:08:13,200
[upbeat video game music
playing]
187
00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:16,661
[video game announcer]
Atomic wedgie!
188
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:24,002
Oh, it feels so good
to get out of the house
189
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:26,412
and away from
that stupid needy brain.
190
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:27,731
Am I right?
191
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,341
I'm enjoying being a Dad.
192
00:08:29,568 --> 00:08:32,159
I can fix the mistakes
my parents made with me.
193
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:34,495
[video game announcer]
Player two loses.
194
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:35,347
[frustrated shout]
195
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:38,091
I'm a failure because of you!
196
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,667
[video game announcer]
Bonus humiliation.
197
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,686
Defile him.
198
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,432
Aw, kind of reminds me
of my little guy.
199
00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:48,935
Uh... [stammers]
not that I care or anything.
200
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,588
Boys, I made you
a healthy snack,
201
00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,199
roasted cauliflower.
202
00:08:56,185 --> 00:08:57,518
[Bart]
Aw, look at him there.
203
00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:59,871
So cute on that plate.
204
00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:02,207
Maybe I should get home.
205
00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:05,544
Sweet.
More roastie-collies for me.
206
00:09:09,608 --> 00:09:12,867
Oh, where is Dad with my brain?
They should be home by now.
207
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:13,943
[car door closes outside]
208
00:09:13,962 --> 00:09:15,945
Ugh, finally.
209
00:09:15,964 --> 00:09:17,872
It's about time,
you good-for-nothing!
210
00:09:17,966 --> 00:09:19,999
Relax, Marge.
211
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,135
The baby's fine.
212
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,878
Oh, there you are.
213
00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:25,546
Oh, my sweet little precious...
214
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,215
-[screams] Pickled eggs!
-[glass shatters]
215
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,809
Where's my brain?!
216
00:09:29,961 --> 00:09:31,570
Oh, must've gotten mixed up.
217
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:32,796
Two jars.
218
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:34,814
[chuckles]
We were making 'em kiss.
219
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,223
He's too young for kissing.
220
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,368
I got to go find him.
221
00:09:39,654 --> 00:09:41,746
What happened to that brain
my dad had?
222
00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,973
Well, years of drinking,
223
00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:45,733
not to mention
all that nuclear stuff,
224
00:09:45,827 --> 00:09:48,812
and, uh, I don't think it was
all that great to begin with.
225
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:51,164
The one in the jar.
226
00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:52,257
Oh, that. Oh. [chuckles]
227
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,909
I left that in the alley
for the raccoons.
228
00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,836
They'll eat tonight. [chuckles]
229
00:09:56,988 --> 00:09:58,638
-[gasps] No!
-[raccoons chittering]
230
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:00,824
[whimpers]
231
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,508
[sighs]
232
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:03,827
Huh?
233
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,754
Nicotine beef jerky?
234
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,422
I know who took you.
235
00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,692
[chewing noisily]
236
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,112
I'm so jerked-up.
237
00:10:14,263 --> 00:10:16,931
I feel like
I smoked a whole cow.
238
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,159
Let's mess up this brain.
239
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:20,935
[Bart]
Leave it alone!
240
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:22,120
That's my brain!
241
00:10:22,347 --> 00:10:23,270
After we blow it up,
242
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:24,939
you can have the biggest chunk.
243
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,349
This isn't some frog
244
00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,627
where you can put a firecracker
in its butt.
245
00:10:28,854 --> 00:10:30,111
It's a living thing,
246
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,188
and it's my job
to take care of it
247
00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,540
and teach it to do
cool stuff like, um,
248
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,969
paintball and-and
pooping in jack-o'-lanterns.
249
00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:40,472
So hands off my brain!
250
00:10:40,699 --> 00:10:41,973
Okay, okay.
251
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:44,809
You can have
your stupid head cheese.
252
00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:47,062
Don't worry.
I'm taking you home.
253
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:51,224
I wonder if
anyone will ever love me
254
00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:54,060
the way he loves that brain.
255
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,303
Look, man, I'm gonna
take better care of you.
256
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,972
You're the only brain I've got.
257
00:10:58,066 --> 00:10:59,473
You need a name, bud.
258
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,142
Wait. Buddy.
259
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,403
Perfect! 'Cause you're my buddy.
260
00:11:03,555 --> 00:11:07,165
Also I don't want to think
about this any harder.
261
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,411
[Bart]
Thursday, May 14th.
262
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,988
Buddy and I had quite the adventure tonight.
263
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,883
I realized he's more than just some dumb prank
264
00:11:16,993 --> 00:11:18,568
or a homework assignment.
265
00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:21,012
He's a badass like me.
266
00:11:24,092 --> 00:11:25,517
-[fingers snap]
-Gar?on!
267
00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:28,019
Another high chair
for my associate here.
268
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,340
[groans]
You brought your jar friend.
269
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:35,527
Oh, I get it.
Buddy's a little different.
270
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:37,195
But he's my responsibility.
271
00:11:37,346 --> 00:11:39,030
Plus he's pretty cool.
272
00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:42,850
Well, uh, maybe he can be
under the table.
273
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,094
Whoa! Buddy's my plus-one.
274
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:47,205
Would you rather me
bring Milhouse?
275
00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:50,266
No, no, no, no, no.
No one said Milhouse.
276
00:11:50,285 --> 00:11:51,876
Simpsons, a-welcome.
277
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:54,287
Oh, my favorite a-family.
278
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,606
A-Homer, a-Marge, a-Lisa,
279
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:59,366
a-Maggie, a-Bart, a-brain.
280
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:00,701
A-brain?!
281
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:04,205
[praying in Latin]
282
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,873
It's okay, it's okay.
283
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,541
It's just a school project.
284
00:12:07,635 --> 00:12:10,211
Good a-news.
A table, she just open up
285
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:12,046
in a-private dining room.
286
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,624
[winded]
You can... go into...
287
00:12:14,642 --> 00:12:16,276
[panting]
288
00:12:18,129 --> 00:12:19,571
My pasta's cold.
289
00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:21,448
Everything's cold!
290
00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:27,061
Ugh, this brain business
will not be good for Bart
291
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,638
if he keeps it up.
292
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:31,732
Oh, come on, think of all the
worse stuff he could be doing.
293
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,326
Or all the worse stuff
he's done.
294
00:12:33,478 --> 00:12:34,568
He named it!
295
00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:37,255
And I think he gave it
a bite of tiramisu.
296
00:12:37,406 --> 00:12:39,907
[sighs]
This is different for Bart.
297
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:43,319
What if he becomes
the town weirdo?
298
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:45,171
Oh, weirdos aren't
what they used to be.
299
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:48,841
They start computer companies
or own the Las Vegas Raiders.
300
00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,584
Or become serial killers.
301
00:12:50,678 --> 00:12:53,997
But still, his odds are
at least two out of three.
302
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,607
Children label each other.
303
00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:59,593
Bart's in danger of becoming
"The Brain Boy."
304
00:12:59,687 --> 00:13:00,928
You worry too much.
305
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,930
Remember when you thought
Lisa was going to hell
306
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,841
because she was a vegetarian?
307
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,342
I still think that.
308
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:09,120
Excellent work
on your egg projects, class.
309
00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:12,698
And your parenting journals
were really inspired.
310
00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,867
An A-plus? I can't believe it.
311
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,352
I've never gotten one of those.
312
00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:19,188
I thought those were just
for suck-wads like Martin.
313
00:13:19,282 --> 00:13:21,800
Okay, everybody,
you did a great job,
314
00:13:21,951 --> 00:13:24,377
so it's time
to turn in your eggs.
315
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:26,971
Whoa, hold on there.
I am not giving you Buddy.
316
00:13:27,198 --> 00:13:29,456
Well, one of the hardest parts
of parenting
317
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:31,717
is watching your child move on.
318
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,627
To be Willy's breakfast.
319
00:13:33,721 --> 00:13:36,039
[laughing]
320
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,723
Your brain can have a home
321
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,892
on a shelf
in the school science lab.
322
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:42,211
[grunts] Buddy hates science.
323
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,355
He's like me.
He's into MeatCanyon videos
324
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:45,824
and doing wrestling moves
on the dog
325
00:13:45,975 --> 00:13:47,717
and pouring Red Bull
on pancakes!
326
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:49,977
Bart, it might be healthy
for you
327
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,163
to take a break from Buddy.
328
00:13:52,315 --> 00:13:53,998
And it might be healthy for you
to have your own kid
329
00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:55,575
and not live through us!
330
00:13:56,578 --> 00:14:00,913
I never should've told you
that we were trying!
331
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,490
Don't you worry. It'll work out.
332
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,969
It's only been three months.
Give it time.
333
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:11,924
Ah, wifeless shopping,
334
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,168
where all the meat is nuggets
335
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,855
and the produce section
doesn't exist.
336
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,189
Ooh, the candy aisle.
337
00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,249
Formerly known as cereal.
338
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:22,402
[humming happily]
339
00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:26,698
I don't care if he is
Milhouse's best friend.
340
00:14:26,849 --> 00:14:28,515
He's just weird.
341
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,018
And not the kind
with "a diagnosis"
342
00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:32,537
that we have to like now.
343
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:35,264
My JJ says that he talks
to the brain
344
00:14:35,358 --> 00:14:36,857
when no one's looking.
345
00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:38,284
My little Seymour says the kids
346
00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:41,604
all call him "Brain Boy"
behind his back.
347
00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:44,941
Hmm. I wonder
who they're talking about.
348
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,033
Moleman?
349
00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,610
Well, whatever
they're calling him,
350
00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:50,430
I don't want Bart Simpson
around my son.
351
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:58,304
No surprise to me that Bart
Simpson has become a weirdo.
352
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,473
[whispering]
When I had him in second grade,
353
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,049
he ate a booger.
354
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,068
I hear Bart shares his bed
with that brain.
355
00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,904
Puts a little sleep mask on it.
356
00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,554
It's my fault, girls.
357
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,075
I should've noogied him more,
knuckled some sense into him.
358
00:15:11,302 --> 00:15:15,805
He had potential, but I guess
he's just the town freak now.
359
00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:17,490
[sadly]
Haw-haw.
360
00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:19,584
[humming a tune]
361
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,072
[panting] Marge, you were right.
362
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,741
Everyone in the store
is calling Bart "Brain Boy."
363
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,502
It's already started
with the yentas.
364
00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:32,263
It won't be long before
it spreads to the slaggards!
365
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:34,098
That's the whole rest
of the town!
366
00:15:34,325 --> 00:15:35,416
Bart is lost.
367
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:38,102
He won't be known by his name
but by his thing.
368
00:15:38,329 --> 00:15:40,997
Like Comic Book Guy
or Crazy Cat Lady
369
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:43,499
or Professor Pocket Pool.
370
00:15:43,592 --> 00:15:46,093
Mmm. Mmm.
371
00:15:46,187 --> 00:15:48,171
At least that professor
has lifetime tenure.
372
00:15:48,189 --> 00:15:50,264
Bart's gonna be unemployable.
373
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,766
Mom, Dad, I think
I have a suggestion.
374
00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,510
[screams]
Little Miss Know-It-All!
375
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:56,862
I watched
this nature documentary
376
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,605
that may apply to us.
377
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,774
When a chimp
starts acting strangely,
378
00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,868
if it doesn't stop the behavior,
379
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,129
the tribe will
savagely attack it,
380
00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:08,299
leaving it scarred
and isolated forever.
381
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:09,467
I knew it.
382
00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:12,136
We need to protect
my special little chimp
383
00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:15,865
from the cruel people
in this town who would shun him.
384
00:16:15,883 --> 00:16:21,312
Yes, we must be the loving
parents who keep him locked up.
385
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,816
[Marge hushed]
Open the door quietly.
386
00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:26,709
[whispering]
You know how squeaky it is.
387
00:16:26,802 --> 00:16:28,211
I told you to oil it.
388
00:16:28,229 --> 00:16:29,803
I'm not an architect.
389
00:16:29,897 --> 00:16:32,064
Your stage whispers
are too loud.
390
00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:33,807
Where are you guys going?
391
00:16:33,901 --> 00:16:35,994
Bart! We, um...
392
00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,737
We're going to church.
393
00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:39,163
Why didn't you wake me up?
394
00:16:39,315 --> 00:16:40,740
Uh, you hate church.
395
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:44,577
The itchy pants, the big book
of stuff that never happened.
396
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:47,338
We thought maybe you'd like
to skip it this week.
397
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:48,655
As a reward.
398
00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:50,900
Uh, for being so normal.
399
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:51,901
[Homer chuckles nervously]
400
00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:53,327
This is about Buddy, isn't it?
401
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,329
You're ashamed
to be seen with me.
402
00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:57,015
-Of course not.
-No!
403
00:16:57,242 --> 00:17:00,685
Why would we be ashamed
of our son and his BFF,
404
00:17:00,912 --> 00:17:03,095
a jar of human remains?
405
00:17:03,248 --> 00:17:05,081
Look, sweetie,
why don't you just
406
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:07,616
make yourself
some Red Bull pancakes,
407
00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:08,918
put on cartoons,
408
00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,103
and we'll be back
before you know it.
409
00:17:11,256 --> 00:17:12,438
Go. Go, go, go, go.
410
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,573
[door closes]
411
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:19,370
"...two oxen, five he-goats,
412
00:17:19,522 --> 00:17:22,874
"five lambs
of the first year, this..."
413
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:24,450
[quietly]
It's so boring.
414
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,903
But finally some peace
away from Brain Boy.
415
00:17:27,905 --> 00:17:30,197
I hate to say this,
but you're right.
416
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,776
My jaw is unclenched
for the first time in weeks.
417
00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:36,870
[sighing heavily]
418
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,464
[Bart]
Sorry I'm late, everyone!
419
00:17:38,616 --> 00:17:40,132
-Good to see ya.
-[congregation gasps]
420
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:43,619
Don't mind us. Just gonna sit
with my loving family.
421
00:17:43,638 --> 00:17:45,121
That's the Brain Boy.
422
00:17:45,139 --> 00:17:48,140
It's so gross and wrinkled.
423
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,976
Don't look at him, JJ.
424
00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:53,237
Bart is troubled. Mmm.
425
00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:55,556
So, what episode of Jesus
are we on today?
426
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,817
Is he still talking about
not judging people?
427
00:17:57,969 --> 00:17:59,243
You know, loving your brother?
428
00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:01,579
-Or your son?
-[congregation groaning]
429
00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,581
Ugh, Bart, stop it!
430
00:18:03,732 --> 00:18:04,898
This is enough!
431
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,417
Yeah, this isn't just
some little quirk
432
00:18:06,527 --> 00:18:09,145
like wearing a fedora
or being a Libertarian.
433
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:11,330
You got a disgusting brain
in a greasy jar.
434
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,924
[scoffs] My family.
435
00:18:13,075 --> 00:18:15,909
You're the ones who always said
you'd love me no matter what.
436
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,261
Unconditionally!
437
00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:20,306
This was
an unforeseen condition!
438
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,586
[gasps] Oh, wait.
I didn't mean that.
439
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,829
Too late, Mom.
440
00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:29,107
Yes, I have a brain in a jar.
So what?
441
00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:30,942
Sideshow Mel has
a human bone in his hair
442
00:18:33,004 --> 00:18:35,855
For your information, weirdo,
443
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:39,342
this is the femur of a kangaroo!
444
00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:43,012
It was given to me
by Yahoo Serious!
445
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,864
Go ahead, laugh and point at me.
446
00:18:45,016 --> 00:18:47,350
Call me Brain Boy. I don't care.
447
00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,352
I have a friend
who will never judge me,
448
00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:51,203
who's always been there for me:
449
00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:52,446
this brain!
450
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,948
He gets me,
'cause we're one in the same:
451
00:18:55,042 --> 00:18:57,618
badasses who don't play
by society's rules.
452
00:18:57,712 --> 00:18:58,970
We're the Bartmen.
453
00:18:59,197 --> 00:19:01,389
Me and my best pal!
454
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,809
Corbin Everly?
455
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,811
Who's Corbin Everly?
456
00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:08,295
Hold on.
457
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,723
He was a local tax accountant
458
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,650
who donated his body to science
459
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:16,154
hoping it could benefit
the world after his passing.
460
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,215
So Buddy's nothing like me?
461
00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:21,159
He's not some rude, crude,
prankin' dude
462
00:19:21,386 --> 00:19:23,143
with the freaky fresh 'tude?
463
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:26,555
He was just some guy
named Corbin?
464
00:19:26,574 --> 00:19:30,559
Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been
sloshing him all over town.
465
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,562
Mm. I feel bad for Bart.
466
00:19:33,581 --> 00:19:37,341
No boy wants his brain
to turn out to be a nerd.
467
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:40,586
Mom, I don't think I want to be
the Brain Boy anymore.
468
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,905
Oh, sweetie.
469
00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:48,019
I'm sorry we weren't more
supportive during this phase.
470
00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:50,855
You hear that?
It was just a phase!
471
00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:54,692
? It's been a long day ?
472
00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,010
? Without you, my friend ?
473
00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:59,922
? And I'll tell you all about it ?
474
00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:03,759
? When I see you again ?
475
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:06,946
? We've come a long way ?
476
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,356
? From where we began ?
477
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,543
? Oh, I'll tell you all about it ?
478
00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:15,880
? When I see you again ?
479
00:20:16,107 --> 00:20:18,198
? When I see you again... ?
480
00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:21,719
Oh, my goodness,
it's the brain of Corbin Everly!
481
00:20:21,946 --> 00:20:24,371
Oh, where have you been,
old chum?
482
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,040
Oh, oh, let's never fight again.
483
00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:29,227
[scoffs] What a weirdo.
484
00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:33,138
? Oh, I'll tell you all about it ?
485
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,734
? When I see you again. ?
486
00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:38,069
? ?
487
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,886
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
488
00:20:39,981 --> 00:20:41,572
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
489
00:20:41,799 --> 00:20:43,148
and TOYOTA.
490
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,326
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
491
00:20:49,974 --> 00:20:51,749
Mom, this is stupid.
I don't want to do this.
492
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,434
No, we're doing this
493
00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:57,463
because I support you
unconditionally.
494
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:01,175
[snake hisses]
495
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:05,221
Maybe we should
just get ice cream.
35510
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