Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,568 --> 00:00:10,234
[yawns]
2
00:00:10,327 --> 00:00:12,368
[crowing like a rooster]
3
00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:13,828
I really hope
you chumps are happy,
4
00:00:13,922 --> 00:00:15,922
'cause I had to open up
at 6:00 a.m. here.
5
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,016
Thank you, Moe.
6
00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:18,425
And thank you, pro football,
7
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,854
for playing your worst games
every year in London.
8
00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:23,747
Yeah, the games start so early,
9
00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:26,600
now we can spend Sunday morning
as God intended--
10
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,028
not in church!
11
00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:31,697
And still drunk from last night.
12
00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:33,681
[British announcer]
Welcome back to Wembley Stadium
13
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,183
where the score at the interval
14
00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:37,685
is Jacksonville Jaguars 25,
15
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,872
Buffalo Williams nil.
16
00:00:40,099 --> 00:00:42,449
Oh, boy, I got 100 quid
on the Jag-u-ars,
17
00:00:42,601 --> 00:00:44,268
and I don't even know
how much that is.
18
00:00:44,361 --> 00:00:46,270
I'm Buffalo all the way.
19
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:48,363
Ten bob, six shillings, baby.
20
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:50,440
You know, I've dabbled
in a lot of anonymouses
21
00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:51,625
but never gambling.
22
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,886
I always thought
betting was for class acts,
23
00:00:54,113 --> 00:00:56,704
like, uh, James Bond
or Pete Rose
24
00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:58,282
or Secretariat.
25
00:00:58,375 --> 00:00:59,892
Why don't you give it a try,
Moseph?
26
00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,636
Yeah, make one little bet
on the next game.
27
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,878
Baltimore-Detroit.
28
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,380
It's harmless fun.
29
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:08,809
Uh, uh, all right,
I guess I could bet a buck.
30
00:01:08,961 --> 00:01:10,736
That's nothing
to get too worked up about.
31
00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:11,978
[Moe grunts]
32
00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:14,406
[Homer grunting]
33
00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,108
[exasperated grunt]
34
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:18,577
[Homer]
The walrus has his own money.
35
00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:21,138
[announcer] And we are underway here in Baltimore,
36
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:24,324
as the Ravens take on the Detroit Lions.
37
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,109
Beautiful day for football.
38
00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:27,811
...and Detroit scores!
39
00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:29,646
-[whoops]
-Baltimore ties it up!
40
00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,148
Detroit kick is good.
41
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,649
Touchdown Baltimore!
42
00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,259
...and Detroit is coming back.
43
00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:36,336
Baltimore retakes the lead.
44
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:39,598
Man, this game could go either way.
45
00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:41,158
Detroit player injured.
46
00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,102
Baltimore just might pull it out.
47
00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:44,828
Oh, my God, I'm gonna win!
48
00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:47,022
Turns out I was a winner
all my life.
49
00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,333
[announcer]
Oh, but what's this?
50
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:51,610
Detroit scores a last-second safety
51
00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:54,113
and the Lions are victorious.
52
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:57,524
De-who scores an un-what
and the wheres are wha-torious?
53
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,343
Geez. Tough luck, Moe.
54
00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,101
You lost.
55
00:02:00,195 --> 00:02:01,678
Damn you, Balty-more!
56
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:05,015
You crab-infested
Edgar Allan Poe-munchers!
57
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,125
[muttering]
58
00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:07,684
Uh, calm down, Moe.
59
00:02:07,686 --> 00:02:08,869
It was just a dollar.
60
00:02:09,037 --> 00:02:10,129
To you it was just a dollar!
61
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,356
To me it was a whole simoleon!
All right?!
62
00:02:12,358 --> 00:02:13,707
Get the hell out of here!
All of youse!
63
00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:14,949
-Bar's closed!
-[yelping]
64
00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:17,527
-[Homer] We're leaving!
-You, too, Slumpo!
65
00:02:17,546 --> 00:02:19,555
Slumpo?
66
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:21,789
[thunks]
67
00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:22,883
[squishes]
68
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,269
I don't like
the sound of that squish.
69
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,523
Guys, I think Larry's...
70
00:02:30,726 --> 00:02:31,966
...dead.
71
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:34,895
[organ playing]
72
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,321
I don't know
why we had to come here.
73
00:02:36,548 --> 00:02:37,489
Funerals are stupid.
74
00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:39,825
You're all excused
from coming to mine.
75
00:02:39,976 --> 00:02:41,827
Good. I had something
that day anyway.
76
00:02:42,054 --> 00:02:43,887
[quietly]
I didn't have anything that day.
77
00:02:43,906 --> 00:02:46,056
Homie, you have to pay
your respects.
78
00:02:46,225 --> 00:02:48,667
You spent more time with Larry
than your own kids.
79
00:02:48,818 --> 00:02:50,002
That's not true at all.
80
00:02:50,229 --> 00:02:52,487
Who's my best friend?
What's my favorite subject?
81
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,006
Who do I admire most
in the world?
82
00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,066
How old am I?
And what color's my bike?
83
00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,844
Pass. Pass. Crackle
from Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
84
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,828
Pass. And trick question--
85
00:03:00,923 --> 00:03:03,182
you have a skateboard.
86
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:07,227
Huh. I'm strangely comforted
by the passes.
87
00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,648
[Marge]
Wow, light turnout.
88
00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:16,770
I'm so glad
you guys could make it.
89
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:17,921
How could we not?
90
00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,531
Larry was... around.
91
00:03:22,519 --> 00:03:25,595
What's the right amount?
One? Five?
92
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:26,596
One?
93
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,931
This is gonna take a while.
94
00:03:28,024 --> 00:03:29,857
Want to crash a few funerals?
95
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:32,336
Eh, I'm already wearing a dress.
96
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,105
[Sea Captain]
So as you sail alone
97
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:37,457
'cross the wine-dark seas
of eternity,
98
00:03:37,609 --> 00:03:40,944
you shall remain evermore
in our hearts.
99
00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:44,281
Yarr-I-P, my feathered friend.
100
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:48,468
You always said that you wanted
one of these, Polly.
101
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:51,045
And now you have one.
102
00:03:51,139 --> 00:03:52,731
[all crying]
Arr!
103
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:54,382
Arr! Arr!
104
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,960
[chuckles]
Check me out, Lis!
105
00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:58,979
I'm bearing pall!
106
00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:01,556
Aunt Eunice,
you saw us through so much,
107
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,983
triumph and sorrow,
108
00:04:03,135 --> 00:04:05,469
and it's a comfort to know
that you died at 92
109
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:06,803
of natural causes.
110
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:07,988
Natural causes?
111
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,749
She clearly died
from the vaccine!
112
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,252
You shut up,
Robert F. Quimby Jr.!
113
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,645
You're an embarrassment
to this family.
114
00:04:15,664 --> 00:04:17,481
And that's saying a lot!
115
00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:19,149
[playing organ]
116
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,834
Sorry I'm late. Uh...
117
00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:22,076
[quietly]
Who are we doing today?
118
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,821
A sad, balding drunk
119
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,657
-who hung out at Moe's.
-Got it.
120
00:04:27,676 --> 00:04:32,829
Homer Simpson was a beloved
pillar of this community.
121
00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:34,623
He thinks you died.
122
00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:35,774
Do something.
123
00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:37,667
Why? He's saying nice things.
124
00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:39,427
You never call me a pillar.
125
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,446
-[speaking indistinctly]
-He's not?
126
00:04:41,598 --> 00:04:43,240
Are you sure?
127
00:04:46,178 --> 00:04:48,436
Uh... anyhoo,
128
00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:52,032
and now a few words
from Larry's mother,
129
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,418
Iris Dalrymple.
130
00:04:56,021 --> 00:05:01,282
Well, my Lawrence always talked
about his best friends,
131
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:04,194
the fellows at Moe's Tavern.
132
00:05:04,212 --> 00:05:07,121
It would warm my heart
if they came up
133
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:11,018
and shared fond memories
of my son.
134
00:05:12,295 --> 00:05:13,720
[quietly]
I'm not talking. You talk.
135
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:15,205
-I didn't know him.
-No one did.
136
00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:16,556
Your stool was closest.
137
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,728
Perhaps one of you could talk
about Larry's love of fishing.
138
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,822
Uh, uh, one time,
139
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:26,049
we went
to this great fishing lake.
140
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,308
Lake Fish.
141
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,287
Oh, yeah.
Fish Lake was full of...
142
00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:32,572
...fish.
143
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,575
You know who always caught
the biggest fish?
144
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,668
Who? Who?
145
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:39,229
I-I, uh... I want to say Larry?
146
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:40,580
[chuckles]
Big Fish Larry.
147
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,156
Oh, yeah. Larry, indeed.
148
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,583
[Lenny]
Watch out, fish!
149
00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:45,302
What a true story.
150
00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:49,997
-Oof.
-Why did you
never take the time
151
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:51,908
to get to know this man?
152
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,243
Hey, at least we came, huh?
153
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,020
Hey, Barney totally blew this
off.
154
00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:59,416
Eh, selfish jerk.
155
00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:00,842
[creaking]
156
00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:02,986
[speaking Spanish]
157
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,942
[cheering]
158
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,427
[belches]
159
00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:14,206
Marge, Larry just didn't fit
into our band of bros.
160
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:16,375
The four of us
are closer than close.
161
00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,210
Yeah, we're like
the Sex and the City broads,
162
00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,103
except, uh, super gross.
163
00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:22,789
Yeah, Larry just wasn't part
of our deal.
164
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,158
Because you never asked him
to be.
165
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:28,945
All he ever wanted was
a simple human connection.
166
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:33,725
But, instead,
he died unloved in a bar.
167
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:34,968
[Homer moans softly]
168
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,137
? Ah ?
169
00:06:37,289 --> 00:06:41,316
? Look at all the lonely barflies ?
170
00:06:42,477 --> 00:06:43,977
? Ah ?
171
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:47,906
? Look at all the lonely barflies ?
172
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:52,802
? Larry the barfly sat at a stool every night ?
173
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:55,062
? And he ordered a beer ?
174
00:06:55,157 --> 00:06:57,732
? Shedding a tear ?
175
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,309
? Look at him eating ?
176
00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:01,161
? Checking his phone all alone ?
177
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,813
? As he sits with his pain ?
178
00:07:03,832 --> 00:07:06,741
? Chicken chow mein ?
179
00:07:06,835 --> 00:07:09,152
? All the lonely Larrys ?
180
00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:13,098
? They all come to an end ?
181
00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:16,176
? All the lonely Larrys ?
182
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:22,441
? Forgotten by their friends. ?
183
00:07:22,668 --> 00:07:25,110
Is it possible
we're terrible people?
184
00:07:25,337 --> 00:07:28,672
Yes, but the one
I'm really disappointed in is...
185
00:07:28,765 --> 00:07:30,523
-Lenny.
-What?
186
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,861
You just always struck me as a
sensitive guy with a good heart.
187
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,179
I did?
188
00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:39,273
I'm so sorry to interrupt,
gentlemen,
189
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,169
but I found this
in my son's room.
190
00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:46,873
It's all five of us.
191
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,969
Hey, it kind of looks like we're
in front of Serenity Falls.
192
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:56,533
I know. We should all take
Larry's ashes there, together.
193
00:07:56,626 --> 00:08:00,020
-[Carl and Moe and Homer] Huh?
-It's the sensitive thing to do.
194
00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:04,149
[gasps]
That's a wonderful idea.
195
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:05,817
I can't go to Serenity Falls.
196
00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:07,802
It sounds stressful!
197
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,653
[Marge grunts]
198
00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:09,988
And I...
199
00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:11,639
love stress?
200
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,901
[Lenny]
The four amigos are on the road!
201
00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:16,995
Or should I say "five"?
202
00:08:17,146 --> 00:08:19,998
? All the lonely barflies ?
203
00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:23,576
? Confronting mortal dread ?
204
00:08:23,729 --> 00:08:26,988
? Their souls in need of searching ?
205
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:31,426
? They booze it up instead. ?
206
00:08:37,242 --> 00:08:39,425
See, Larry? We're not so bad.
207
00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:40,927
We're taking you
to your special place,
208
00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:42,762
Serenity Falls.
209
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:44,080
Let's get this over with.
210
00:08:44,099 --> 00:08:45,673
I got a big date with my girl.
211
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,935
Naima's taking me to see
the reunited Kool & the Gang.
212
00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:51,254
Didn't she date one of the Gang?
213
00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:52,346
One of?
214
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,015
She dated Kool.
215
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,077
-Whoa! Kool!
-Wow!
-Ooh.
216
00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,354
We spent a million hours
with this guy,
217
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,115
but he never felt
like one of us.
218
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:05,026
He was a drunk,
and we're just social drinkers
219
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,452
who also drink alone.
220
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:07,862
Two different worlds.
221
00:09:07,989 --> 00:09:10,957
I just hope that if Larry knew
we were doing this,
222
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,533
it would make him happy.
223
00:09:12,627 --> 00:09:14,444
[chuckles]
Yeah, as happy as Naima
224
00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:16,888
when she was dishing it out
to Kool, huh?
225
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,948
-Would you shut up?!
-Sorry, sorry.
226
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,784
Hey, let's listen
to some music, huh?
227
00:09:20,802 --> 00:09:22,619
Get your mind off of, uh...
228
00:09:22,637 --> 00:09:23,711
you know, things.
229
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,288
? Get down on it ?
230
00:09:25,307 --> 00:09:26,973
? Get down on it... ?
231
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,567
[Carl groaning]
232
00:09:33,298 --> 00:09:34,981
Could you turn off the light?
233
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:37,242
And leave Larry all alone
in the dark?
234
00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:39,411
[chuckles]
Can you believe this guy?
235
00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:40,561
Larry's not here!
236
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,638
He's dead!
237
00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:42,914
His ghost is here.
238
00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:43,915
Aw, come on, Lenny.
239
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,325
Ghosts ain't real, huh?
240
00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:46,659
Yes, they are.
241
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,813
I believe that Larry's ghost
is hovering above us,
242
00:09:49,831 --> 00:09:51,572
blowing out birthday candles,
243
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,167
helping figure skaters land their jumps
244
00:09:54,319 --> 00:09:57,837
and cooling down hot soupwith his icy cold ghost finger.
245
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,839
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
246
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,158
Everybody knows
that when you die,
247
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,436
your soul becomes cosmic energy,
248
00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:06,679
until your consciousness is reborn
249
00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:10,091
as a creature that befits your metaphysical station,
250
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,517
be it mighty moose
251
00:10:11,594 --> 00:10:13,469
or a proud paramecium.
252
00:10:13,521 --> 00:10:15,429
Shut your traps,
you deluded freaks.
253
00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,115
Here's the deal--
when you croak,
254
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,175
it's just a sad, silent void.
255
00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:21,511
Nothin'. And it's not even
a regular nothin'.
256
00:10:21,646 --> 00:10:23,363
It's an absence
of everything, huh?
257
00:10:23,515 --> 00:10:25,290
Where no matter
how hard you think,
258
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:28,109
you can't imagine
how nothin' it is.
259
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,444
Like that abandoned mall
where the JC Pennys
260
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:31,871
is full of bears?
261
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:32,872
No.
262
00:10:33,024 --> 00:10:34,524
[scoffs]
You're all wrong.
263
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:37,026
Why have questions
when we have the Bible?
264
00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,045
I didn't serve
20 years to life in church
265
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,031
not to cash in on
those frequent prayer miles.
266
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:43,791
I can't wait till I die
267
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,477
so I can slide in next to Larry
268
00:10:45,628 --> 00:10:48,647
and eat buffalo angel wings for all eternity
269
00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:51,724
without a celery stick in sight.
270
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:52,984
-Ghosts.
-Void.
271
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:54,878
-Space moose.
-Wings.
272
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,613
Don't listen to them,
ghost Larry.
273
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,327
Void!
274
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,705
First pee of the day.
Let's make it count.
275
00:11:06,983 --> 00:11:09,292
[mutters indistinctly]
276
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,296
[yelps]
Larry, get back in your jar.
277
00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,082
What the hell is this?
278
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,584
And this, and this.
279
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:20,920
What parts of Larry were these?
280
00:11:21,072 --> 00:11:23,348
[groans unhappily]
281
00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:25,350
[whistling]
282
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,061
Hey, Homer, what you doing
down there?
283
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,098
Sweet Tabasco Sally,
284
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,526
is thems what I think
thems is?
285
00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:38,530
Hmm.
286
00:11:38,757 --> 00:11:39,939
Sapphires.
287
00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:41,424
Larry's ashes were full of them.
288
00:11:41,443 --> 00:11:42,442
What gives?
289
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,427
Larry must have had
these Smurf-stones
290
00:11:44,446 --> 00:11:46,946
crammed up his wazoo
when they crematized him.
291
00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:48,189
[pops]
292
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,690
He must have been moving
stolen gems
293
00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:52,210
across the northern border
by stuffing them up
294
00:11:52,437 --> 00:11:54,270
his southern pass.
[laughs]
295
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:57,774
All I knows is Larry is dead,
and we are rich.
296
00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:58,775
Oh, my God, you're right.
297
00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,960
We gotta tell Lenny and Carl.
298
00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:02,036
Uh, uh, real quick sidebar.
299
00:12:02,130 --> 00:12:04,538
Um, do we really want to bother
300
00:12:04,632 --> 00:12:05,782
our gentlemen friends
301
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:09,285
with this here, uh,
gemalogical situation?
302
00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,378
-Why wouldn't we?
-Aw, bless your heart.
303
00:12:11,473 --> 00:12:14,899
But whatever money
these corpse jewels yield,
304
00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:17,718
we'd be crazy to split it
four ways.
305
00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,313
-[groans, grunts]
-[groans]
306
00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:22,073
Look, you and me
need this money
307
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,891
way more than Lenny and Carl,
all right?
308
00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,392
You got an expensive
trophy wife
309
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,986
and, like, a thousand
crazy kids.
310
00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,763
And all I got is a crummy bar
311
00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:30,640
full of toxic black mold.
312
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,308
What?
[coughs]
313
00:12:32,327 --> 00:12:36,045
I guess I do have
a lot of financial burdens.
314
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,000
-[knock on door]
-[Carl] Hey, open up.
315
00:12:41,152 --> 00:12:43,244
I gotta record my gum depth.
316
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,413
Two, two, two, three, two...
317
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,840
Okay, getting ready to lie
to our friends.
318
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,434
And... showtime!
319
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:52,103
Good morning, dearest Carlton.
320
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,439
I know what's going on in here.
321
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:56,257
-I, um...
-Uh, uh...
322
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,443
You guys were getting up early
323
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,945
to use the two free
continental breakfast vouchers
324
00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,338
without us.
325
00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:06,100
Well, we're using 'em.
Me and Larry.
326
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,769
Don't worry,
we'll get our chance.
327
00:13:08,863 --> 00:13:10,163
[Moe hums greedily]
328
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,037
Wait a sec, this ain't
the road to the Falls.
329
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,613
Yeah, I took the scenic route.
330
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:23,209
I thought Larry would appreciate
seeing those wildflowers.
331
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:26,137
Guess who planted those.
Lady Bird Johnson.
332
00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:27,380
What the hell, Lenny?
333
00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:29,474
You know I gotta get back
to save my lady
334
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,309
from the clutches of
Kool and the Gang.
335
00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:33,036
I thought you weren't worried.
336
00:13:33,054 --> 00:13:34,312
Of course I'm worried.
337
00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:38,041
They won the 2014 Soul Train
Music Legend award.
338
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:39,725
-Now let's get back
on the highway.
-[yelps]
339
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:42,045
-[grunts] Give it!
-[tires screeching]
340
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,563
[indistinct shouting]
341
00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:45,281
[both cry out]
342
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,998
[tires screech]
343
00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,503
-Phew.
-[groaning] Oh...
344
00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:01,673
I'm sorry, Carl.
I'll get back on the highway.
345
00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,842
No. You go however you want.
346
00:14:04,027 --> 00:14:06,052
Let's do right by Larry.
347
00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:13,409
[both]
Larry!
348
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:15,353
[Homer and Moe]
Our secret gems!
349
00:14:15,504 --> 00:14:16,563
[panting]
350
00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:19,098
Nothing to see here, huh?
351
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,008
Just, uh,
crystalized Larry chunks.
352
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,418
[whispering]
Gems. Gems, gems, gems.
353
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,587
Gems. Gems, gems.
Precious gems.
354
00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:27,348
There were sapphires
in Larry's urn?
355
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:28,441
And you knew?
356
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,927
Look, guys, we can explain.
You see...
357
00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:32,612
Homer talked me into
screwing youse over
358
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:34,931
so we could keep them gems
all for ourselves, all right?
359
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,949
-[both] What?
-You liar!
360
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,293
[sheriff]
Hands up.
361
00:14:39,662 --> 00:14:42,046
Back away from the urn.
362
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,867
Y'all are under arrest
for violating
363
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:50,371
section 545 of
the U.S. commerce code:
364
00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:51,797
jewel smuggling.
365
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:52,873
[whimpering]
366
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:55,709
Y'all get in the frunk.
367
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:56,978
[vehicle chirps]
368
00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,793
[all mutter indistinctly]
369
00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:07,130
[Homer]
Oh, "front trunk." Frunk.
370
00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:08,648
Now I get it.
371
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,366
[laughs, then cries]
372
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,123
-[all groaning]
-[Lenny] Oh.
373
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,474
[Lenny]
I'm not going to jail
374
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:19,976
'cause you two were gem smuggling.
375
00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,586
It's worse than that, dummy.
376
00:15:21,813 --> 00:15:23,479
Homer and Moe weren't gonna
tell us about
377
00:15:23,498 --> 00:15:26,407
the sapphires they found
in the Larry crumbs.
378
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,151
I wanted to tell you,
but Homer threatened
379
00:15:28,169 --> 00:15:29,410
to set my bar on fire.
380
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,263
What? You told me
to keep the gems a secret,
381
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:35,249
and I only listened to you
because I'm highly suggestable.
382
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,936
-No, you're not.
-You're right, I'm not.
383
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,179
Who cares? All I know is
we were the victims
384
00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:42,106
of an A-1 screw job.
385
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,609
This is the worst thing
you guys have ever done.
386
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:45,851
[Homer moans sadly]
387
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:48,521
Oh. yeah, Carl?
Well, what about when you
388
00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:51,857
won a year's supply of
Old El Paso taco kits,
389
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,676
and never invited me over?
390
00:15:53,695 --> 00:15:54,953
You won that contest?
391
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:56,955
I wrote the taco poem.
392
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:59,440
You must have submitted it
as yours.
393
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,684
Maybe I just got tired
of hearing your voice
394
00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:04,128
that sounds like a duck
with a sinus infection.
395
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,966
"The box contains seasoning
and five broken shells.
396
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:12,545
You and your family buy
everything else. Old El Paso."
397
00:16:12,697 --> 00:16:13,972
He does sound like a duck.
398
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:15,456
Now I'll never not hear it.
399
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,717
You knew broken shells
are my thing.
400
00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:20,061
[all grunting]
401
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,133
Is this what we're like
when we're... sober?
402
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,878
We're nothing like
the Sex and the City broads.
403
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:31,564
You take us out of that bar,
and what's holding us together?
404
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,882
Nothing.
405
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,309
And to think all Larry wanted
out of life
406
00:16:35,403 --> 00:16:37,978
was to be part of
this friend group.
407
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,998
What a dumb dead chump.
408
00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:42,058
[sheriff]
Hey, boss, I found the idiots
409
00:16:42,151 --> 00:16:44,335
who took Larry's last haul.
410
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:48,564
They're just a bunch of losers
that hate each other. Heh.
411
00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,008
It's all taken care of.
412
00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:53,344
Excellent work,
Mickey No-Loose-Ends.
413
00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,404
So what you want me
to do with them?
414
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,073
Mm, let them go.
415
00:16:57,091 --> 00:16:58,850
They know nothing.
416
00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:01,686
Got it. No loose ends.
417
00:17:04,098 --> 00:17:06,507
Ugh, I gotta pay more attention
to the nicknames
418
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,008
when I hire these guys.
419
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,770
Now, can you go pick up Connie
at the airport,
420
00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,179
Bruno Wife-Banger?
421
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,090
Hey, with pleasure.
422
00:17:14,183 --> 00:17:16,701
[whistling]
423
00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:18,352
[sheriff]
No loose ends.
424
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:21,614
This psycho ain't a sheriff.
He's a psycho!
425
00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:23,541
Oh, and we're his loose ends.
426
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,025
We're all gonna die.
427
00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:28,713
Oh, what if Lenny's right,
and we're all gonna be ghosts?
428
00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,215
What if Moe is right,
and it's just a void?
429
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,200
Incomprehensible nothing.
430
00:17:33,294 --> 00:17:35,219
I don't think
I could handle that.
431
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,947
No, no, no, Homer's heaven
makes sense to me now.
432
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:40,449
Hey, Lord, I repent
everything I ever done.
433
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:44,044
That he knows about.
Heh, heh, heh.
434
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,231
Guys, I think Carl's
stupid energy crap is real,
435
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:49,975
and I'm totally coming back
as one of those koalas
436
00:17:50,128 --> 00:17:52,295
with an STD.
437
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:54,322
[grunting]
438
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,805
Mm? [grunts]
439
00:18:02,824 --> 00:18:04,898
Hey, hey, look at this.
440
00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:07,251
I could blast him
when he opens the frunk.
441
00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:10,088
-[indistinct chatter]
-That flare gun.
Flare gun will save us.
442
00:18:10,239 --> 00:18:12,423
Time to get out. Whoa!
443
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:14,500
Eat flare, jerk.
444
00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:16,344
[all crying out]
445
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:19,672
Phew.
446
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,099
[car creaking]
447
00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:23,584
[all cry out]
448
00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:26,512
Nobody move. As long as
our weight is balanced,
449
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:27,847
we're not going over.
450
00:18:27,999 --> 00:18:29,923
Although,
if one of us jumped out,
451
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,183
that person would
save themselves,
452
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:32,926
and everyone else would die.
453
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,504
So any one of us
could save themselves
454
00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:36,781
and doom the rest?
455
00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:38,765
[all]
No!
456
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,510
[car creaking]
457
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,680
Our only hope is to jump out
at the exact same time.
458
00:18:44,699 --> 00:18:45,939
Either we all survive,
459
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,792
or we all find out
what the afterlife is...
460
00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:49,869
together.
461
00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:50,962
Unless it's the void,
in which case
462
00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:52,371
we won't find out nothin'.
463
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,873
Okay, on three.
464
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,616
One, two...
465
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,301
[all]
Three!
466
00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,470
-Yay, we did it.
-Whoo!
467
00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:02,198
You don't jump on three.
You jump on "go."
468
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:03,866
One, two, three, go.
469
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,643
The three is the go.
470
00:19:05,794 --> 00:19:09,021
[shouting]
Agree to disagree...
471
00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,541
I probably should leave,
but I can't.
472
00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:15,378
Got to make sure there's no...
[grunts]
473
00:19:15,471 --> 00:19:17,897
...loose ends.
474
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,158
? ?
475
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,661
-Larry?
-It can't be.
476
00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:25,054
It's another urn.
477
00:19:25,147 --> 00:19:27,331
[crying out]
478
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:37,416
[Homer grunts]
479
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:38,843
[groaning]
480
00:19:40,496 --> 00:19:41,995
Ow. Oh...
481
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,265
Larry saved your life.
482
00:19:46,669 --> 00:19:50,188
Wow, these electric cars
even explode quiet.
483
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:53,766
And look, we're right here
at Serenity Falls.
484
00:19:53,918 --> 00:19:55,935
Larry's special place.
485
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,179
Wait, this don't look
the same at all.
486
00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,440
This whole stupid trip
where we were driven apart,
487
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,051
and then came back together
with a much deeper bond,
488
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:05,703
was for nothing.
489
00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:08,431
Oh, my God, guys,
I think I know
490
00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:12,025
where Larry really wanted us
to take his death dust
491
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,936
and bone chunks.
492
00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:17,940
? Cherish the love we have ?
493
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:22,720
? We should cherish the life we live ?
494
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:24,113
? Oh... ?
495
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,725
Enjoy your special place.
496
00:20:27,952 --> 00:20:30,228
It's too bad
we lost those sapphires.
497
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,137
I guess they fell out
of the urn.
498
00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:35,149
Yeah, it's a real mystery.
499
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,644
Heh, heh, heh. Ow.
500
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:41,297
? Cherish the love we have ?
501
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:44,575
? For as long as we both shall live ?
502
00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:45,660
? Ooh... ?
503
00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:53,325
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
504
00:20:53,478 --> 00:20:56,587
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
505
00:20:56,739 --> 00:20:59,331
and TOYOTA.
506
00:20:59,484 --> 00:21:02,593
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
507
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:31,330
Shh!
36182
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof