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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:04,795 ? 2 00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:06,005 [engines revving] 3 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:07,506 [chester arborday] it's the final lap 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,550 Of the springfield little grand prix, 5 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,885 And the karts are tighter than a royal corgi's collar 6 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:14,513 As they head into lard lad turn. 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,226 We have contact! Things are looking bloody grim 8 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:23,772 For the rising star of kf-1-- kids formula one-- 9 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,607 Lisa simpson. 10 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,526 Simpson spins out! 11 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,527 [all gasp] 12 00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,699 [arborday] look at that icy calm. 13 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:34,908 Clearly, this pre-tween dynamo 14 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:37,995 Has never felt a modicum of unease 15 00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:41,248 In any automobile. 16 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,791 Dad! 17 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,668 You're gonna hit the median. 18 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,628 All part of the plan. 19 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,629 [lisa exclaiming] 20 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,422 [grunts] 21 00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:52,259 [whimpering] 22 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,094 Aah! 23 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,764 Bart, soccer practice. Go, go, go! 24 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,431 Whoa! 25 00:00:57,433 --> 00:01:00,017 Goal...! 26 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:05,272 Dad, please, you don't have to hurry like this. 27 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,358 Cut me off? I cut you off! 28 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:12,196 [lisa] he didn't cut you off, he's just driving! 29 00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,822 Hope you like brakes because today 30 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:17,659 It's all-you-can-eat, baby. 31 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,828 [lisa exclaims] 32 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,789 Dad, stop... 33 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:23,499 Brake checking... 34 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,042 Him. 35 00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:26,460 -[groans] -speed bump, sweetie. 36 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:27,628 We're gonna get a little air. 37 00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:30,130 [squeals] 38 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:35,260 Ugh. I hate when we're early. 39 00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,513 Mr. And mrs. Simpson, as you know, 40 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,223 Lisa has been feeling a lack of control, 41 00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:41,975 Which feeds her generalized anxiety. 42 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,686 I know, I know. It's getting worse. 43 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,230 Her twitch jumped eyes. 44 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:49,525 She used to be a righty. Where will it jump next? 45 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:50,984 Mm... 46 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,946 Mom, do you have to do that now? 47 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,864 I knit when I'm worried. 48 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:58,867 Marge is our family designated worrier, 49 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,120 Which frees me up to be the cool dad. 50 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:03,122 Plus, I get some awesome worry swag. 51 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,417 Marge made this when bart swallowed a nine-volt battery 52 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:10,087 And I had to track it with a stud finder. 53 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:12,965 Well... [clears throat] 54 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,925 I asked you both here today 55 00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:17,928 Because lisa made a significant breakthrough 56 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,638 At her last session. 57 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,848 Oh, that's wonderful. 58 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:23,976 Doctor, I can't thank you enough. 59 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,061 This is such a relief. 60 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:29,773 Lisa, whatever it is that's causing your anxiety, 61 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,025 We will walk through hell to fix it. 62 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,946 Well, mr. Simpson, it's your driving. 63 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:39,992 What did you just say to me? 64 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,704 Well, dad, um, you know, 65 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:45,789 You can be a little aggressive behind the wheel. 66 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,917 I drive at the speed of traffic. 67 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,627 You can at least listen to doctor-- 68 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,005 Lenny thinks I drive cool. 69 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,798 Everything is always my fault. 70 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,716 Well, two can play at that game. 71 00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:58,468 I say you're a terrible driver. 72 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,054 I'm much faster than you. [grunts] 73 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,015 -[footsteps departing] -[car door closes] 74 00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,266 -[car skids away] -[vehicles honking] 75 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,394 -Doctor, I'm so sorry about-- -[phone rings] 76 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,980 You have some nerve 77 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,191 Putting these thoughts in my daughter's head. 78 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,818 Mr. Simpson, can we please continue this conversation 79 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,695 When you're not driving? 80 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,030 [siren wailing] 81 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,657 Go around. Go around. 82 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:23,535 Aah! [shrieking] 83 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,995 [lisa and marge] aah! 84 00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,788 Did you flip over? 85 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,041 I'm not the one on trial here. 86 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:31,084 Your trial's in two weeks. 87 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,296 Hey, doc! Great work with ralphie. 88 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:37,132 We can keep aluminum foil in the house again. 89 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,635 Uh, we'll pick this up later. 90 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,762 [whimpers] 91 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:44,097 Doctor, what can we do? 92 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,433 Well, I have one idea. 93 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:51,104 Here, we practice immersion therapy. 94 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,190 We expose patients to their phobias 95 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:56,652 So their habituated response can decrease over time. 96 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:57,819 [whimpering] 97 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,947 [stammers] monsters. 98 00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:02,074 Monsters all. Ow! 99 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,868 So, he's afraid of germs on toilet seats. 100 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,079 No, he's afraid of rotisserie chicken. 101 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,082 Lisa, if we can use this exposure treatment 102 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,000 To get you comfortable in cars, 103 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,461 That might help you overcome your other anxieties. 104 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,047 Okay, I'll do whatever it takes. 105 00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,967 Well, I must warn you, it won't be fun. 106 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,219 [kids shouting] 107 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,807 By driving a go-kart, 108 00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:28,058 You can feel a measure of control 109 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,559 In your relationship with motor vehicles. 110 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,645 I don't want to drive. 111 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:32,604 Just put me back on the pills. 112 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,689 No wait, no pills. 113 00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:35,357 They make me feel nothing. 114 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,942 But my room has never been cleaner. 115 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:37,734 But I never laugh. 116 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:38,902 But there's a calm in that. 117 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,905 But the sound of the grass growing is loud! 118 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,907 Lisa! It's going to be all right. 119 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,661 Take a breath and give it a little gas. 120 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,579 No! I am not doing this. 121 00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,331 I am putting my foot down. 122 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,667 Aah! See? 123 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:55,794 I could have killed a tire. 124 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,755 [sighs] well, we tried. 125 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,048 I am out of here. 126 00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,842 Gonna get this back to the starting area, 127 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,802 And... 128 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,680 Oh... That wasn't so bad. 129 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,224 [chuckles, whoops] 130 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:09,975 Zippy. 131 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,436 We can try other approaches. 132 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,521 They're making up new therapies all the time. 133 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:17,816 Mm. I really hoped this one would work. 134 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,860 It's working! 135 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,737 I'm finally in control. 136 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,530 Oh! Doctor, you cured her. 137 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,657 We don't like to use the word "cure." 138 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,734 [whooping, laughing] 139 00:05:27,736 --> 00:05:29,328 But I'm okay with "miracle." 140 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,454 [whooping] 141 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:39,296 [arborday] johannes on schwarzvalder iii 142 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,630 Cuts that turn sharper than his mother 143 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:41,798 Cuts the crust off his egg and cress sandwiches. 144 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,133 ? 145 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,260 He might hit 30 miles an hour! 146 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,640 One small slipup means a playdate with disaster... 147 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,186 ...Unsupervised! 148 00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,907 After dominating local races, 149 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:10,243 Lisa simpson will make her debut in kf-1-- 150 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:13,914 The top international go-kart circuit. 151 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,791 For the first time, race fans worldwide 152 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,292 Will be able to witness 153 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:20,629 Lisa's steely confidence on the track. 154 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,922 I can't wait to get out there. 155 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,965 For me, it's not about winning or losing, 156 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,342 It's about control. 157 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:29,012 I used to be this big bundle of worry and anxiety, 158 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,889 But on the track, the world is going so fast, 159 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:34,393 Yet I am in complete command. 160 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,645 The stillness at the center of power. 161 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,605 I feel it everywhere. 162 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:41,691 The other day, I got my first a-minus ever 163 00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,777 On a test, no biggie. 164 00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,862 Uh-oh. Am I allowed to do that? 165 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,073 [weak chuckle] will I lose more points? 166 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,699 Does anyone have tape? 167 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,160 Lisa is very good at her job 168 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:55,414 Of driving around and around. 169 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:58,625 Her unshakable demeanor has everyone asking 170 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,628 Where did this fearless phenom come from? 171 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,714 Is she the scion of a greek shipping magnate? 172 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,050 Or the scion of a dutch shipping magnate? 173 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,969 Just what nationality of magnate 174 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,513 Is she the scion of? 175 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:14,724 The truth is she's from an obscure racing backwater 176 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,853 Called-- and I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly-- 177 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,521 America. 178 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:22,774 Her mother is a housewife with no family fortune 179 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,359 Or rich dead husband. 180 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,695 Her pathetic existence peppered only 181 00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:29,406 With the mildest of victories. 182 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,575 Found it. 183 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:34,035 A life squandered. 184 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,997 Lisa's father-- a bald, simpering, 185 00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:40,158 Morbidly obese drain on society-- 186 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,003 Has been sentenced to community service 187 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:46,047 For a reckless driving conviction. 188 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,674 Am I going to look okay in this show? 189 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,885 I don't see how. 190 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,428 -Oh! -[cheering] 191 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,346 D'oh! 192 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,140 And despite her dollar-store upbringing, 193 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:59,227 Lisa simpson stands poised for international glory 194 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:02,439 In this fall's kf-1 karting season, 195 00:08:02,441 --> 00:08:04,691 Which coincidentally will take place 196 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,402 In her hometown of springfield. 197 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:10,655 We are happy to welcome these wealthy child racers 198 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,366 And their smoking-hot trophy moms. 199 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,659 [man] oh, yes! 200 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,330 European racing teams have descended upon springfield. 201 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,874 And as always, the crew to beat 202 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:24,127 Is Italy's team doosh��. 203 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,297 Their charismatic star is paolo paoletti-- 204 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:31,510 Son of tracksuit mogul fila fendi paoletti-- 205 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:35,639 In the number seven children's strength tylenol kart. 206 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:37,766 [italian accent] america is such 207 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,769 A wonderfully disgusting country. 208 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:43,897 All the guns and the billhillies, 209 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,650 And all of the television shows about chicago. 210 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:50,028 The fire, the police, 211 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:54,115 The man bear who makes the beef sandwich. 212 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:57,285 Oh, paolo love. Boof. 213 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,996 In a setback to their jet-setting lifestyles, 214 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,832 Paolo and the other european go-karters 215 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,209 Must attend public school 216 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:09,464 Under the watchful eye of broken, faceless bureaucrats. 217 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,966 I have a face. 218 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,717 Even though these kids are impossibly wealthy, 219 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:13,969 I think they'll fit right in. 220 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:16,555 -They didn't. -How do you know? 221 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:17,597 It hasn't happened yet. 222 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:18,974 But then it did. 223 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:22,894 Hey, I asked for vitello alla caper. 224 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,438 What is this? 225 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,148 Beanie weenies. 226 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,277 Why do you hate my mouth? 227 00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:30,735 Huh? 228 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,739 Why? [cries] 229 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,117 [bart] look at that sad foreign kid. 230 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,996 He just needs a regular american to reach out 231 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,998 And take advantage of him. 232 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,748 Is there some problem here? 233 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,626 This rectangle lady 234 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,962 Is trying to poison paolo. 235 00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,755 Dry your eyes, pinocchio. 236 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,882 I'm the guy that can make stuff happen around here. 237 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:56,052 If just might cost you a little. 238 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,095 Whatever it takes. 239 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,221 I give you one of each color. 240 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:01,391 Purple, blue, green, purple again. 241 00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,852 Mmm! 242 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,979 Delizioso. 243 00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:10,150 Finally, somebody around here with no accent. 244 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,777 Mwah. Bartolomeo, you make paolo so happy. 245 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,865 [sighs] you are team doosh�� now. 246 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,993 I'm make it rain on you. 247 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,661 Boof, boof, boof, boof! 248 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,039 [announcer] gentlekids, 249 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,958 Start your two-stroke engines. 250 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,126 I can't believe it, 251 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,630 My girl's first international go-kart race. 252 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,673 Did you put on sunblock? 253 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:34,966 I'm in a fireproof suit. 254 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,384 Oh, your father's here. 255 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,095 He's finished with his community service. 256 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,306 He can finally watch me race. 257 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,017 I wouldn't miss seeing my little danica patrick 258 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,102 For all the jolly ranchers in the pi?ata. 259 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:50,231 [chuckles] the kids never check the legs. 260 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:57,030 Now, honey, I know they're going fast, 261 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,699 But I'm sure lisa's safe. 262 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,077 There's nothing to worry about. 263 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,286 Oh, I'm not worried. 264 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,905 Come on, you got to be a little worried. 265 00:11:05,907 --> 00:11:08,792 Nope. I've seen lisa race a dozen times. 266 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:11,336 She's really good and she's safe. 267 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,296 But-but you're the family's designated worrier. 268 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,299 If you're not worried, that means there's a worry vacuum 269 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:20,220 That I have to fill, and vacuuming is also your job. 270 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,724 Oh, my god, look how fast she's going. 271 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,935 I'm not concerned in the least. 272 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,687 And me am concerned in the most. 273 00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,147 I need the stress yarn. 274 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,274 Relax, homie, she's winning. 275 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,152 Which means she's going faster than everybody else. 276 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,028 What am I even knitting? 277 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,656 Oh, it's golf club covers. 278 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:47,288 [whooping] 279 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,623 Boof! 280 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,961 Time for your bedtime sweet dream routine. 281 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,132 Here's your night terror teddies, 282 00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:00,677 And I'll set the night-light to boogeyman banisher. 283 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,929 [lisa giggles] 284 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,973 Dad, I don't need all that. 285 00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,891 I don't have anxiety anymore. 286 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,603 -And I have you to thank for it. -Me? 287 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,731 Yes. Your unhinged driving 288 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,567 Made me face my fears and get into go-kart racing. 289 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,570 This is on you. 290 00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,822 [whimpers] 291 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,199 All my fault. All on me. 292 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:28,246 It's me, lisa mario. 293 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:37,046 Woo-hoo! Thanks to my papa, 294 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,007 I'm-a risking my life. 295 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:42,385 And I'm a dream version of milhouse. 296 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,679 Aah! 297 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,308 It's-a me, wario. 298 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:51,895 My bad parenting has lead to your doom. 299 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:52,687 [laughs] 300 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,899 Trauma bomb! Wah! 301 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:57,525 Aah! 302 00:12:57,527 --> 00:13:00,487 It's-a me, wario! It's all my fault! Wah! 303 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,863 ? 304 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,033 So, paolo, you liking this vibe? 305 00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,743 Not enough bass? Too much bass? 306 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,454 Less bass is gonna cost. 307 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,959 Ketchup bottle service. 308 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,003 You make it just like milan, 309 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,672 Except here everyone is fat and ugly. 310 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,632 Bartolucci, I love you. 311 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,967 Here is money. 312 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,887 Excuse me, signor spaghetti, 313 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,388 There's somebody at the door. 314 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,766 He's not on the list and he claims to be the principal. 315 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,142 I am the principal. 316 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,604 Bart simpson, I need to see you in my office, 317 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,897 Which this is. 318 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,858 Bartissimo, this polyester tie man-- 319 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,527 He make-a me sad. 320 00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,362 Leave this to me. 321 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:44,864 Seymour, why don't you take the afternoon off? 322 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,826 Here, get your mother's tires rotated. 323 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:50,286 That better not be a euphemism, young man. 324 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,163 Principal skinner, I need some help 325 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,833 With the obituary for the class hamster. 326 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,627 Is the correct wording "died by suicide" 327 00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:58,795 Or "of suicide"? 328 00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,963 [grumbles] 329 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,757 Oh, look, everyone, it's my archrival. 330 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:06,177 Oh, enjoy your one win. 331 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,971 You are only a flash in the pan. 332 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:11,015 I am the breaded veal in the pan. 333 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,935 Paolo will be atop the podium again. 334 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:17,605 I'm sure you will. You're a terrific driver. 335 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,233 Oh! See how she mocks me? 336 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,610 Bart, I hate her and her whole family. 337 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:26,114 Say cruel things about this girl so I may agree with them. 338 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,492 Well, I've never met her before, but I can tell by her vibe 339 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:32,245 That she's an animal-kissing, wikipedia-editing middle child 340 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,330 Who burps broccoli and farts tofu 341 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,499 And won't do her brother's homework, 342 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,625 Even for euros. 343 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,714 And yet this girl you have no connection to-- 344 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,840 She beats me. 345 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,842 My thumb is raw 346 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,427 From all of the doing-a this. 347 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,095 [grunts] 348 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,599 That's a boof. 349 00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:53,933 [car horn honks] 350 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,560 Coming, mom. 351 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,729 I can't let you go. 352 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,564 Racing is too dangerous. 353 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,232 Dad, it's fine. 354 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,359 But I had a dream last night that I was wario 355 00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,862 And I bombed you off of rainbow road into oblivion. 356 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,114 I'm not in danger just because you dreamed 357 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:12,452 A bunch of crazy stuff from mario kart. 358 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:13,745 What's mario kart? 359 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,331 I am going to the race. 360 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,333 It's my job to keep you safe. 361 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,961 You never cared about that when you were driving like a maniac. 362 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,505 Well, through some miracle of therapy, 363 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:27,425 I'm in the driver's seat now, and I'm enjoying myself, 364 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,720 And that's when you choose to care about my safety?! 365 00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:33,097 You summed up things perfectly. 366 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,724 So you'll stay home? 367 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,226 No. I'm in control. 368 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:43,232 Marge, stop her. I've never been more worried. 369 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,817 Well, I've never been more relaxed. 370 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:47,028 Hey, mom, can I drive? 371 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,196 Sure, give it a shot. 372 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,365 No! 373 00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,956 -? -[arborday] today, 374 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,374 The kf-1 karting season 375 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,585 Culminates in a two-mile loop through springfield. 376 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,462 A sad ruin, once home 377 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:08,257 To a thriving nipple tassel manufacturing industry. 378 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,094 Stupid dad, worried about my safety. 379 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:14,055 Remember the time he forgot me at a renaissance fair? 380 00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:16,224 I had to get a ride home from the turkey leg wench. 381 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,852 Oh, honey, your dad's not used to being the one who's nervous. 382 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,605 He just wants what's best for himself. 383 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,148 Thanks for flying out, bippe. 384 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,733 [italian accent] I know paolo cannot race 385 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,402 Without his secret weapon. 386 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:27,986 Andiamo! 387 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:31,155 [tools whirring] 388 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,495 Aw, bart. 389 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,707 You remember that paolo likes gelato 390 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,209 After I told you over and over 391 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,003 That I like gelato. 392 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,089 You are my fratello 393 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,382 From another mamma mia. 394 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:53,302 Oh, you must be bart's new italian friend. 395 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:54,470 Well, good luck in the race. 396 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:57,974 You're gonna need it to beat bart's sister. 397 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,392 [gasps] 398 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,102 Bart simpson, 399 00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,104 You are the brother 400 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,355 Of lisa simpson? 401 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,984 Um, uh, well, um, only by blood. 402 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:10,069 Traditore! 403 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,571 No, no. [speaking italian] 404 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,117 [speaks italian] 405 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,624 [overlapping argument in italian] 406 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,057 Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday! 407 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:43,019 Mwah. Bart, you break-a my heart, 408 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,353 Like snap-a the breadstick. 409 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,105 Boof. 410 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:49,692 Aah! [grunts] 411 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,820 You're not watching the race? 412 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:56,532 I'm too worried about lisa. My only daughter... 413 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,825 Uh, there's maggie. 414 00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,453 ...Is rocketing around on a flaming death-mobile! 415 00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,414 Why does no one else care about lisa's safety? 416 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,957 She's fine. See? 417 00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:05,708 [arborday] from the pole position, 418 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,543 Lisa simpson immediately 419 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,128 Takes the initiative. 420 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,338 What's initiative? 421 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,590 Why does she have it? Is it safe? 422 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,841 [phone dings] 423 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,259 Stupid team doosh��. 424 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,094 Those euro jerks forgot to remove me 425 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,596 From their text thread. 426 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:20,973 "sabotaggio"? 427 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:23,017 Sabotaggio? 428 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,478 Ooh, is that some kind of delicious spiced ham? 429 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,230 It means they sabotaged lisa's kart! 430 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:30,066 Oh, god, I knew she was in danger. 431 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,984 My overreacting is now just... 432 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,320 [gasps] reacting. 433 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,948 [arborday] it's the final lap of the springfield little grand prix, 434 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,158 And the karts are tighter than a royal corgi's collar 435 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,245 As they head into lard lad turn. 436 00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,288 Perfecto, team doosh��. 437 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,291 You loosened all the bolts on lisa's kart. Boof! 438 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,672 [arborday] we have contact! 439 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:58,052 In the storm, I am the calm at the center. 440 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,850 Why is her wheel not-a falling off? 441 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,977 Aah! 442 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,230 Sabotaggio. 443 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,941 Okay, missing a wheel, no brakes, 444 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,819 Still in control. 445 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,071 Okay, now I'm not in control, 446 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,781 But still calm. 447 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:21,826 Wow, I have a great therapist. 448 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,494 She's gonna die! 449 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,833 Marge, I learned my lesson. I was right. 450 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,294 Lisa's not safe. 451 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:34,005 Aah! Sabotaggio! 452 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:43,389 -Dad! -Don't worry, sweetie. 453 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,432 I'm gonna get you out of this mess 454 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,225 The way I got you into this mess: 455 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:49,437 By driving like a maniac! 456 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,608 Stay behind me. 457 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,361 Aw, you're brake checking me. 458 00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:01,699 But now I'm brake checking with love. 459 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,162 Oh! I-a lose. 460 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:09,707 This sport is stupid-o. 461 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,126 And now I fade away to ibiza 462 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,963 To a quiet life as a beach dj. 463 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,049 Boof. 464 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:23,930 Dad, thank you. You've made me feel safe. 465 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:26,724 And I always will. 466 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,601 ? 467 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:41,322 Captioning sponsored by 20th century fox television 468 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,908 And fox broadcasting company 469 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,451 And toyota. 470 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,119 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 33561