All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.S35E11.1080p.x265

[yells]

[whirring]

[willie shouts]

[snoring]

[alarm clock buzzes]

Woo-hoo! T.G.I. Monday.

Time to build my future
with the power of work.

[whistles]

Hey, simpson. They got fresh
donuts in the break room.

No time for donuts. I've got to
get to work. Work, work, work.

Look at that homer simpson.

He's the best kind
of holic: Worka.

[humming]

Hmm. Only two people
ahead of me.

I'll be on top in no time.

[snoring]

[yawns]

Quitting time!

Whoa, whoa, lazy joe.
Not for 40 minutes.

[homer chuckles]

Uh, who do you think
you're fooling?

Sometimes the most important
person to fool is yourself.

Woo-hoo! Overtime!

[humming]

Huh? Mm.

[groaning]

What the? I hired that cone.

What happened, moe?

When did I go
from an up-and-comer

To a guy who drinks
other people's beer?

Hey, what happened to my beer?

[sighs] I used to have
ambition, moe.

What took it away?

Oh, it's a real mystery. Here,
let me pour you another pitcher.

[laughs]

You're a good man, moe szyslak.

Just doing god's work.

You know, you start
with huge dreams,

But after 20 years
at that plant,

All I've got is a big ball
of rubber bands.

For 20 years,
that ball ain't so big.

You start out,
you think you're gonna have

A big ball of rubber bands,

Then you realize,
you even failed at that.

Oh, that's terribly sad.

Mm.

Scooching over.
Scooching, scooching...

Too far.
I share your disappointment,

You see, because by this point,

I thought I'd have won
a prestigious research grant.

I've never even won
in words with friends.

I have the words
but not the friends, you see.

[homer]
wow.

I never knew smart people
could be unhappy.

Oh, my, that's a tear.
I have empathy,

Which means that I am,
in fact, human,

As I have long hypothesized.

-[phone rings]
-y'ello.

Homer simpson? I was wondering
if you'd be interested in a job

At the new nuclear plant
in shelbyville.

Me? Are you sure you don't want
somebody younger or more lenny?

No, you. I've never seen
a r��sum�� like this.

Technically, several of those
jobs were court-ordered.

Works with law enforcement,
great.

Texting you a link
for the interview. It's on zoom.

Woo-hoo! Finally, a use
for this ring light

I've been lugging around.
Could this be it?

The moment my life finally
changes for the better.

Oh, homie.
This never would've happened

If you hadn't been sitting
in a bar without your family.

[motor revs]

I'm your self-doubt, and I say
you're gonna screw it up.

Well, I'm your ambition,
and I say you're gonna blow it.

-Screw it up.
-Blow it.

Screw it up.

Blow it.

[deep voice]
no one loves you.

As usual, my imagination
is right.

I'll never get that job.

Sir, I will help you
with the power of science.

What does science have to do
with nuclear science?

And why you?

Well, as success stories go,
I may not be an egnot,

But I can certainly help you.

Egnot? What's that?

That's emmy, grammy, nobel,

Oscar, time magazine subscriber.

Although, I do have
the easy one, of course.

I have an emmy.

Me, too.

I use mine as corn holders.

Marge, baby,
when I get this job,

We're gonna be rich. Rich.

Oh, it's okay, homie.
We're fine.

Are we? I won't have a wife
of mine mending vacuum bags.

You'll get new vacuum bags.

And someday, maybe,
a new vacuum.

[vacuum whirring, clanging]

[yowls]

[homer]
and... Handsome.

Hey, dad, what you doing?

Getting ready
for my job interview.

What's professor frink
doing here?

Aren't they just
supposed to interview you?

Of course it's just me.
Frink's here for moral support.

Well, why can't I give you
moral support?

Because your moral support
always comes with conditions.

I shouldn't drink so much.

I should stay alive
so I can see you graduate.

Come on.
Give up those dreams, kid.

-But...
-Give them up.

Okay. [sighs]

[grunting softly]

For 18 months, I led a team

At the large hadron collider
in geneva.

Homer, you're early.

I'm still interviewing
another candidate, dr. Spivak.

I-I don't mind.

I look even better
in comparison to other people.

Doctor, let me interview homer,
and I'll get back to you soon.

Very soon. Maybe five seconds.
That kind of soon.

Homer, let's start with what
you know about the n.R.C.

[homer]
n.R.C. N.R.C.

[gasps] those are
the gun nuts, right?

[frink]
oh, dear. As a fellow human,

I want to help him,
but that's unethical.

But I am the kind of nerd

That always must blurt out
the answer.

[whispers]
nuclear regulatory commission.

-Yes.
-The nuclear regulatory
commission. Yes.

They're important because...

They're the government agency

For nuclear plants
and materials.

Created by executive order
in 1975.

Gluhavic.

They're the government agency

For nuclear plants
and materials.

Created by executive order
in 1975.

Gluhavic.

Mm. I didn't know that.

Like an iceberg, there's more
to you than meets the eye.

And like an iceberg,

You probably won't see me
during the summer.

[laughs] excellent.
I love gentle humor.

And that's how a diffraction
grating disperses light

Into components by wavelength.

Hoyvin moyvin physics.

Homer, I must tell you,

This interview, uh, was like
my feet before glycerin cream.

Started rough
but ended quite smooth.

You have the job.
Hyvasti. N?hd??n pian.

Uh, ditto.

[spivak grunting angrily]

You know that's
my computer, right?

[spivak]
take it.

We did it. Your brains
and my listening

Was the perfect combination.
High four.

And over I go.

I can't believe I got the job.

Well, that's wonderful,
and of course,

You will not be needing
my help any longer,

So I wish you the best.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Look, sir, the deal was

I would help you
get the job. That's it.

I didn't even ask for anything.

My quid was woefully
un-pro quo'd.

You can't walk out on me now.
You know the saying:

If you get a man a job,
you feed him for a day.

If you do a man's job,
you feed him for a lifetime.

Now you want me to do
your job for you?

Y-you're a fat yellow
banana slug, sir.

[whimpers]
please.

[sighs] fine. Fine.
I'll do your job.

I'll do all of it.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not all my job.

Like my March madness bracket,
I'll handle that.

You can't be trusted with
picking baylor over gonzaga.

All right, I'll do that, too.

All right, simpson,
this is the 691st time

You've left us for another job.

Yeah, well, I have
a good feeling about this time.

So, we finally said
what the hell, we have a form

For everything else
around here, so why not this?

First, uh, how long do you think
you'll be gone?

As always, forever.

For... Ever.

[grunting]

Mm-hmm.

And, uh, finally,
in this instance,

Where would you like
everyone here

To take this job and shove it?

I'll let you pick.

[grunts]

Now, all that's left is, uh, for
you to storm out dramatically.

Don't tell me what to do!
I quit!

-[sighs]
-[door slams]

So, you need me
to tell you what to do,

But there's no way I can
be with you at the new job.

So, I have engineered this.
Just get it out here.

This is the
"ear-a-no de frink-a-talk."

[laughs] I named it myself.

You see, it transmits my voice
right into your ear,

So you can repeat my words
like a parrot

Or a macaw
or even my pet budgie.

I'm in a cage, professor,

And even I have more fun
than you. [squawks]

Wait a minute, weren't there
two birds in that cage?

[coughs] I'm a cannibal.
[squawks]

We finns believe
the best employee

Is a rested employee.

Now, it, uh, takes months
before an employee

Is comfortable
sleeping at work, we...

-Why, look at you.
-[snores]

Huh? What? Occupied.

There's that american
can-sleep spirit.

Now, let me show you
the employee canteen.

? ?

Aw, geez, I can't afford this.

No, it's all free.

Free? Who are you people?

Well, in finland, we're not only
experts at nuclear power,

But for six years in a row,

We've been the happiest people
in the world.

Makes sense. You live
so close to santa claus.

Actually, our happiness
is a combination of jante,

Low expectations, sisu,
determination...

-Sisu.
-...And kalsarik?nnit.

Which is?

Drinking at home
in your underwear.

[phone beeps]

Hmm.

Oh, my god.
I was kalsarik?nnit

Before it was cool.

Holidays, sundays,
football mondays,

Phone-it-in fridays.

Magnificent.

We also offer free daycare,

Bottomless hot chocolate,

And a roving squad
of surprise masseuses.

Oh, oh! Oh...

Is there anything
vikings can't do?

Win the super bowl.

And this is where
you'll be working.

You remember dr. Spivak,
don't you?

They hired me as your assistant.

Hey, you're the lady who thought
she was gonna get the job.

No hard feelings?

Well, certainly,
not to your face.

Hmm, I'm sensing something
beneath that remark.

Nothing I'll share with you.
Until it's too late.

That's cool.
You'd be surprised

How many people talk to me
in that tone of voice.

I'm sure I would.

Is it just me or are we
getting along great?

[grunting happily]

[humming]

How was your first day?

Marge, I tell ya,
for the first time in my career,

I feel like I've made it.

There was nothing
you couldn't handle?

There was nothing
you couldn't handle.

There was nothing
I couldn't handle.

Mm, I like the way you think
before you answer.

Did you say frink
before I answer?

Now why would you frink that?

That's an odd way to put it,
but I'll ignore it

Because we finally have daycare.

I can take a bath
for as long as I want

In the middle of the day.

I can floss once,
then throw it away,

Like a movie star.

We can afford
extra virgin olive oil.

Maggie, I brought
some food home from work.

They're meatballs, although
they call them reindeer balls.

-[sputters]
-homer, this is it.

We're moving
to the upper middle class.

We might be able to pay bills
on the second notice.

[gasps]

[door opens]

So, I was thinking we should
review aseismic measures.

What do you say?

Der...
I believe we should begin

With analysis
via computational models.

Interesting.

You alternate between grasping
for basic english

And incredibly complex answers.

You're like an idiot
that ate a genius.

Are you insulting my brains
or complimenting my appetite?

Clever.
Are you using a chatbot?

Yes, but only
for dirty limericks.

"there once was a nerd
from cal tech

Whose dating life was
quite a wreck..."

-[mumbling]
-[yawns]

[laughing]

Ooh. That's dirty.

[laughing]

I love this new job!

People were looking
at me with, uh...

-What's that word?
-Respect, lard butt.

I'm happy for you, too, dad.

But I'm curious how you're doing
so well at this job

-When, you know...
-Let's focus on the positives!

I had time
for three baths today.

Well, if I can't say how I feel,

I'll just go to my room
and sing a lament.

? in a room a young girl sits ?

? and sings her sad lament ?

? cause things are not
the same it seems ?

? as in such simpson dreams ?

? slowly passing days
at school ?

? and dad is changing jobs ?

? working on the nukes
with finns ?

? is not the place for him ?

? why do his
golden rainbows end? ?

? why is this song so sad? ?

-? dreaming the dreams... ?
-mmm, maybe I should
go up to her.

Marge, being sad
makes her happy.

Thank you both
for answering my email.

It's always a pleasure to meet
nuclear colleagues.

Thanks for inviting us.

Where's homer?

I was gonna say "hi," or maybe
some other such greeting.

First, could you tell me,

How was homer's performance
at his last job?

Have some whiskey.

Well... He was consistent.

Lady, I'm not here
to bad-mouth homer simpson.

Okay. To be fair,

If they didn't want him
to sleep at work,

Then they shouldn't have given
reactors that soothing hum.

Well, if you were to give him
a letter grade from a to...

F! No. Z.

You know, we're gonna need
a bigger alphabet.

Oh, did we mention the dome
homer put over the town?

Oh, that was a Tuesday.

Oh, homer,
do you happen to remember

The atomic mass of uranium?

[frink] that's frightfully easy.
That's 238.02891 u.

I don't know who you are,
but your cheating enabled

This donut-eating day drunk
to steal a job he can't do.

Shame. Shame!

Oh, dear god.
I-I've crossed a line.

I've become a mad scientist.

I, uh... I think you crossed
that line a while ago.

-[tires screech]
-hey, flanders.

You said hello to me.

Why the upside-down frown?

[chuckles] it's funny
the people you say hi to

When your life is perfect.

Look, homer, I'm through.

From now on,
just think for yourself.

Okay. My first thought
is... Never!

You made me the me I was meant
to be... Which is you.

Now get back in my brain
where you belong.

You cannot tell me what to do.

Yes, I can.

As long as you tell me
how to say it.

Come on, tell me how to say it.

[flanders]
I hear raised voices.

-Oh, shut up, flanders!
-Oh, that's good.

I like that.
Shut up, flanders!

[knock at door]

Uh, you wanted to talk to me?

Yes, I'm afraid it's, uh,
quite serious.

It's about something I noticed
watching you work.

-[gulps]
-I've noticed you're doing
quite well.

I wanted to invite you
on our corporate retreat.

Skiing and science.

Can't I just do it over zoom?

Oh, you will be zooming...
Down a 12,000-foot slope.

Oh...

[lisa]
? fun is just
a word I've heard ?

? when I'm feeling sad ?

? stories eight hard years
have taught me ?

? I cannot share with dad... ?

[chuckles] boy, I wouldn't
want to be that dad.

Oh, for a lament,
it's a real earworm.

Earworm?
What are you talking about?

There's nothing in my ear.

Professor, is the ski resort
a left or a right at the exit?

Professor?

You can't abandon me now.

I very well can,

And I know that you have
to make apr��s-ski chatter.

Not avant, apr��s.
Frink out.

[shatters]

Homer, I hate to talk shop,

But we need to run an efficiency
analysis on the turbine.

Come on, come on, say something.

[budgie] pretty boy.
Pretty boy.

-[whistles]
-uh...

Pretty boy.
Pretty boy. [whistles]

[chuckles] well,
I appreciate the compliment,

But I need to talk
about the turbine.

[budgie] I want a cracker.
[whistles]

-I want a cracker.
-Here you go.

Now, can we please
talk turbines?

Come on.
I need your help, please.

[spivak] another job
I'm overqualified for.

Ah!
How did you get in my ear?

I've hacked into your frequency.
I know your secret.

And now I'm going to be
the one living in your brain.

[spivak's mom]
lori? Lori?

I just found your diary.
You were such a sad little girl.

Not now, mom.

-Frink, how do I stop her?
-[spivak] still me.

Can you put the parrot back on?

[budgie] I'm a budgie, idiot.
[whistles]

[sighs]

You're not getting rid of me
that easily.

What? Why not?

Hello, marge.
I'm dr. Spivak.

The qualified person
your husband took the job from.

You'll have to be more specific.

? ?

Ever ask yourself, marge,
why does he need an earpiece?

He's not a secret agent.

He's not a backup dancer
for rihanna.

Not with that ass.

-Well, you see, I...
-I'm talking to marge.

As a woman, do you really want
a more qualified woman-- me--

To be cheated out of the job
she deserves?

As a woman, don't you want me

To be able to take a bath
in the middle of the day?

Marge, really?
My career is ruined.

Let that soak in.

Well, I-I, uh...
[groans]

? in a room ?

-? a young girl sits ?
-we women have to stick together

Because if we don't,

-No one will stick up for us.
-? and sings her sad lament. ?

All right. All right!

Homer, tell the truth.

-I am a fraud.
-[all gasp]

I am also a fraud.

I'm not finnish.
I'm danish.

Get out of here,
you southern scum.

-I'm a fraud!
-I'm a fraud!

I'm also a fraud.

My tinder pic is
from nine years ago.

You're the worst of all.

I can't work for you
another day.

Homer, no.

Don't try to talk me out of it

With your icy charm.

I was saying no because
you're skiing over a cliff.

Stop. Go back.
I'm begging you.

Do I still have
health insurance?

Canceled... One minute ago.

Nobody call an ambulance!

-[groaning]
-[thudding]

Not again!

-[groaning]
-[thudding]

[sighs]

[homer] ow!
How tall is this hill anyway?

[homer continues grunting,
muttering in pain]

Are you coming back to work
here "hat-in-hand,"

"defiant,"
"begging for mercy..."

Um, is there a box

For "preposterous scheme
that blew up in my face"?

Of course there is.

Did you...
Learn a lesson or not?

I did, but I'll soon forget it.

Welcome back, simpson.

Don't bug me, I'm on a break.

[groans]

Captioning sponsored by
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And fox broadcasting company

And toyota.

Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org

Shh!