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1
00:00:02,466 --> 00:00:04,466
?
2
00:00:05,803 --> 00:00:08,253
Art lovers of springfield,
good news.
3
00:00:08,255 --> 00:00:10,931
The art museum
is closed forever!
4
00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,474
[scattered applause]
5
00:00:12,476 --> 00:00:15,602
Instead, our entire collection
will be digitized
6
00:00:15,604 --> 00:00:18,188
And sold for a fortune
on the blockchain
7
00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:22,151
As non-fungible tokens, or nfts.
8
00:00:22,153 --> 00:00:24,862
Whatever the hell those are.
9
00:00:24,864 --> 00:00:25,988
[chuckles]
10
00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:28,532
Now let's turn
some of our crappy art
11
00:00:28,534 --> 00:00:29,992
Into computer money.
12
00:00:29,994 --> 00:00:33,662
Starting with
a true masterpiece, my butt.
13
00:00:33,664 --> 00:00:36,123
[laughs]
14
00:00:38,335 --> 00:00:39,752
[whirring]
15
00:00:39,754 --> 00:00:40,836
Uh, dad?
16
00:00:40,838 --> 00:00:42,796
Ah! Technology!
17
00:00:42,798 --> 00:00:44,173
[phone chimes]
18
00:00:45,593 --> 00:00:47,718
I've lost bart forever!
19
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,720
No!
20
00:00:51,474 --> 00:00:52,639
[cash register rings]
21
00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:54,683
Yes!
22
00:00:57,563 --> 00:00:59,063
[whirring]
23
00:00:59,065 --> 00:01:02,191
Honey? Remember how
we're always saying
24
00:01:02,193 --> 00:01:04,109
We wish bart was less fungible?
25
00:01:04,111 --> 00:01:05,944
Did something happen to bart?
26
00:01:05,946 --> 00:01:07,237
Only the parts you can hug.
27
00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:10,157
The rest is alive,
right here on my phone.
28
00:01:10,910 --> 00:01:13,744
[yelps] my baby is an app!
29
00:01:13,746 --> 00:01:15,662
Uh, no, apps actually do stuff.
30
00:01:15,664 --> 00:01:16,997
He's an nft.
31
00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:19,083
-But look how much he's worth.
-[gasps]
32
00:01:19,085 --> 00:01:21,001
For bart? Hmm.
33
00:01:21,003 --> 00:01:23,921
Imagine what we'd get for lisa.
34
00:01:23,923 --> 00:01:27,216
He is the first nft
of an actual person.
35
00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:28,300
I don't care.
36
00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:30,511
We've got to find a way
to get him back.
37
00:01:30,513 --> 00:01:34,807
[hooded figure]
to do that, you, yourself
must enter the blockchain.
38
00:01:34,809 --> 00:01:36,016
Who are you?
39
00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:38,227
We are the enlightened
intellects
40
00:01:38,229 --> 00:01:40,395
Who safeguard the crypto-verse.
41
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,690
[homer]
kylie jenner, rob gronkowski,
42
00:01:43,692 --> 00:01:44,983
And jimmy fallon.
43
00:01:44,985 --> 00:01:47,194
I thought you were
just celebrity shills.
44
00:01:47,196 --> 00:01:50,197
Ugh, we would never
promote a technology
45
00:01:50,199 --> 00:01:52,366
If we didn't understand
the distributed ledger
46
00:01:52,368 --> 00:01:53,450
Underpinning it.
47
00:01:53,452 --> 00:01:54,535
Der!
48
00:01:54,537 --> 00:01:57,538
[laughs] I can't
stop laughing, buddy.
49
00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:58,664
[homer]
shut up.
50
00:01:58,666 --> 00:02:00,332
You ruined "cowbell."
51
00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,546
This key is a back door
52
00:02:05,548 --> 00:02:08,465
Through the blockchain's
cryptographic protocol.
53
00:02:10,386 --> 00:02:12,886
Once you're inside, find bart
54
00:02:12,888 --> 00:02:14,930
And use it to get
both of you out.
55
00:02:14,932 --> 00:02:16,390
[grunts]
56
00:02:16,392 --> 00:02:18,600
[whirring]
57
00:02:22,022 --> 00:02:24,398
Huh, so this is the blockchain.
58
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,517
No, noob, this is
the block-train.
59
00:02:28,737 --> 00:02:31,155
Speeding forever through the loveless icy world
60
00:02:31,157 --> 00:02:32,906
Created by crypto-bros.
61
00:02:32,908 --> 00:02:36,243
Powered by the most abundant fuel in the universe:
62
00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:39,580
Fomo, the fear of missing out.
63
00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:43,584
For a digital incarnation of an
abstract mathematical concept,
64
00:02:43,586 --> 00:02:45,502
It could use a good dusting.
65
00:02:45,504 --> 00:02:48,672
[british accent]
well, that's because this is the
last car of the train, innit?
66
00:02:48,674 --> 00:02:52,342
The dwelling place of nfts
with no value.
67
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:56,597
Which is 99% of all nfts
ever created.
68
00:02:56,599 --> 00:02:59,850
Huh, I guess being
the second-ever human nft
69
00:02:59,852 --> 00:03:01,268
Isn't worth a whole lot.
70
00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:03,145
Where do they keep my son?
71
00:03:03,147 --> 00:03:05,564
[french accent]
at the very front of the train
72
00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:07,065
Where you can never go.
73
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:08,358
Watch me!
74
00:03:08,986 --> 00:03:10,402
[grunts]
75
00:03:10,404 --> 00:03:13,197
[laughter]
76
00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:14,489
Whoa!
77
00:03:17,578 --> 00:03:21,330
[retching]
you killed ennui oeuf 116.
78
00:03:23,626 --> 00:03:24,666
[whirring]
79
00:03:26,170 --> 00:03:29,087
Congratulations,
you've moved up the train
80
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:31,465
Because you are now
as valuable as us,
81
00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:32,716
The cuddle kittens.
82
00:03:32,718 --> 00:03:34,801
Because you killed another nft.
83
00:03:34,803 --> 00:03:36,762
What you call
mindless slaughter,
84
00:03:36,764 --> 00:03:38,764
Crypto-bros call "disruption,"
85
00:03:38,766 --> 00:03:40,432
And then pour cash into it.
86
00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:42,142
So, to rescue bart,
87
00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:44,311
I need to kill
a bunch of you guys.
88
00:03:46,899 --> 00:03:48,398
[popping]
89
00:03:50,444 --> 00:03:51,735
Ooh.
90
00:03:51,737 --> 00:03:53,779
Well, I guess I got to do this.
91
00:03:53,781 --> 00:03:55,364
[yowling]
92
00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:59,201
Sorry! Nothing personal!
93
00:04:01,622 --> 00:04:06,083
Hope... You... Can't...
Feel... Pain. [grunts]
94
00:04:07,503 --> 00:04:08,752
[whirring]
95
00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:30,482
[whirring]
96
00:04:32,319 --> 00:04:34,069
[lisa]
mom's price is skyrocketing!
97
00:04:34,071 --> 00:04:35,779
Look at the fomo!
98
00:04:35,781 --> 00:04:39,199
Now everyone's gonna
want human nfts.
99
00:04:39,201 --> 00:04:42,202
Dad, you said you were
taking me to bumper boats.
100
00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:45,247
I am. Uh, have
some more chocolate milk.
101
00:04:47,209 --> 00:04:50,627
No one is putting another child
into that scanner...
102
00:04:50,629 --> 00:04:52,546
Before mine.
103
00:04:53,549 --> 00:04:55,465
-[grunting]
-hey!
104
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:56,675
[whirring]
105
00:04:58,304 --> 00:04:59,136
[gasps]
106
00:04:59,138 --> 00:05:01,680
Please kill ralph-house.
107
00:05:02,683 --> 00:05:04,016
[squishing]
108
00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:07,019
[whirring]
109
00:05:08,856 --> 00:05:12,399
The front of the train.
I made it.
110
00:05:13,235 --> 00:05:15,944
Bart! We're getting out of here!
111
00:05:15,946 --> 00:05:18,071
Whoa, mom, what's the rush?
112
00:05:18,073 --> 00:05:20,741
Grab yourself a jaded ape
and take a load off.
113
00:05:20,743 --> 00:05:23,535
You never like my friends.
114
00:05:23,537 --> 00:05:25,620
Mom's almost got bart out.
115
00:05:25,622 --> 00:05:28,540
Don't let your son become
a worthless human again.
116
00:05:28,542 --> 00:05:30,083
Sell him to me
117
00:05:30,085 --> 00:05:32,544
-For $100 million.
-Hmm!
118
00:05:32,546 --> 00:05:35,339
No, dad!
If you sell bart to mr. Burns,
119
00:05:35,341 --> 00:05:38,216
He'll be trapped
on the blockchain forever.
120
00:05:38,218 --> 00:05:40,385
But this is my chance
not to miss out,
121
00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:42,304
After I've missed out
on everything.
122
00:05:42,306 --> 00:05:44,598
The housing bubble,
the first tech bubble,
123
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,267
The second tech bubble,
the current tech bubble.
124
00:05:47,269 --> 00:05:49,519
Just one time,
I want to be the guy
125
00:05:49,521 --> 00:05:52,064
That gives all his money
to bernie madoff!
126
00:05:52,066 --> 00:05:55,192
Mom, get out of there!
Dad's gonna crack!
127
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,331
He did it.
128
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,999
I can't believe he did it.
129
00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:13,418
[whirring]
130
00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:15,587
-We made it.
-Where's homer?
131
00:06:15,589 --> 00:06:17,839
I want to tell him the inside
of his phone smells.
132
00:06:17,841 --> 00:06:19,966
He-he sold himself.
133
00:06:19,968 --> 00:06:21,968
He was so afraid of missing out,
134
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:24,429
He tokened his own life.
135
00:06:24,431 --> 00:06:26,765
Woo-hoo!
136
00:06:26,767 --> 00:06:29,726
Eternity on
a super swanky train.
137
00:06:29,728 --> 00:06:32,479
Ooh, twerked chicken.
138
00:06:34,733 --> 00:06:37,067
[rumbling]
139
00:06:37,069 --> 00:06:38,902
What happened?
140
00:06:38,904 --> 00:06:41,738
Our fomo, it's gone.
141
00:06:43,951 --> 00:06:46,576
The nft craze is over.
142
00:06:46,578 --> 00:06:49,037
D'oh!
143
00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:56,169
[homer]ah, the romance of train travel.
144
00:07:00,592 --> 00:07:03,176
?
145
00:07:03,178 --> 00:07:07,639
? and it's clearly to his credit ?
146
00:07:07,641 --> 00:07:12,602
? that he is an englishman ?
147
00:07:12,604 --> 00:07:14,896
? he remains ?
148
00:07:14,898 --> 00:07:19,025
? an eng ?
149
00:07:19,027 --> 00:07:21,445
? lish... ?
150
00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:23,947
Wait. Did you only
ask me to sing
151
00:07:23,949 --> 00:07:26,774
To forestall your gruesome end?
152
00:07:26,776 --> 00:07:30,078
Guilty as charged. [laughs]
153
00:07:30,914 --> 00:07:33,415
-[bart grunting]
-[laughing]
154
00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:35,459
[screams]
155
00:07:36,795 --> 00:07:38,336
Ha!
156
00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,134
It was only by
following my hunch
157
00:07:44,136 --> 00:07:46,303
That we found
the east side strangler
158
00:07:46,305 --> 00:07:48,513
On the west side of town.
159
00:07:48,515 --> 00:07:51,308
Can you explain how
you overcame childhood trauma
160
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:54,269
To become the nation's most
renowned criminal psychologist?
161
00:07:54,271 --> 00:07:57,147
For that story,
you'll have to read my book.
162
00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:59,608
-[school bell rings]
-[indistinct chatter]
163
00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:03,028
Office muntz.
164
00:08:03,030 --> 00:08:04,905
Told you I'd smell you later.
165
00:08:04,907 --> 00:08:06,531
Been a long time.
166
00:08:07,493 --> 00:08:08,742
Ah, look at us.
167
00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:11,411
We thought we were
gonna stay young forever.
168
00:08:11,413 --> 00:08:13,079
Some of us did.
169
00:08:13,081 --> 00:08:16,208
Oh, right, like bart,
because he got murdered.
170
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:17,876
Speaking of gruesome junk,
171
00:08:17,878 --> 00:08:19,836
We could use your help
on a case.
172
00:08:19,838 --> 00:08:23,632
I'm flattered, but I'm the dean
of the true crime department.
173
00:08:23,634 --> 00:08:25,926
I can't just run off and--
174
00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:27,928
The killer left a message.
175
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:30,597
And we think it's for you.
176
00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:32,641
?
177
00:08:43,362 --> 00:08:45,820
Maybe rod flanders
did grow up to become
178
00:08:45,822 --> 00:08:48,573
A shockingly foul-mouthed
prop comedian,
179
00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:50,534
But he didn't deserve this.
180
00:08:50,536 --> 00:08:53,078
Only a super-traumatized
profiler like you
181
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,288
Can piece together
what happened here.
182
00:08:55,290 --> 00:08:56,248
Hmm.
183
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,958
[breathes deeply, sighs]
184
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,626
[lisa]
our killer took his time.
185
00:08:59,628 --> 00:09:01,127
Had fun with it.
186
00:09:01,129 --> 00:09:02,963
Enjoyed a game of solitaire.
187
00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:05,298
Red king on a red queen?
188
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,926
This psycho doesn't
play by the rules.
189
00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:09,469
Damn, she's good.
190
00:09:09,471 --> 00:09:11,388
Here, he had one
of those moments
191
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:14,975
Where you walk into a room
and forget what you came in for.
192
00:09:14,977 --> 00:09:17,385
How did my guys miss that?
193
00:09:17,387 --> 00:09:18,311
One more thing.
194
00:09:18,313 --> 00:09:20,263
This killer won't stop now.
195
00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:21,982
There will be others.
196
00:09:21,984 --> 00:09:23,692
Sarge, there's been another.
197
00:09:27,823 --> 00:09:30,115
How can he also be the first?
198
00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:31,741
Sarge, we got another one.
199
00:09:32,869 --> 00:09:34,244
[whistles]
200
00:09:34,246 --> 00:09:35,787
Boy, that's something
you don't see every--
201
00:09:35,789 --> 00:09:37,372
One more, sarge.
202
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:40,125
Got another one, sarge.
203
00:09:40,127 --> 00:09:41,835
The severed hand
opens the fridge,
204
00:09:41,837 --> 00:09:43,712
Which tugs on that
strip of sinew,
205
00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:44,963
Turning over the eyeball cup,
206
00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:47,299
Which rolls down the spine,
startles a cat,
207
00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:49,467
Which leaps onto
the butter dish seesaw,
208
00:09:49,469 --> 00:09:51,678
And sends
the other eyeball flying,
209
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,513
Turning on the coffee maker.
210
00:09:53,515 --> 00:09:56,850
Even I can't get inside
a mind this deranged.
211
00:09:56,852 --> 00:09:59,978
There's only one person who can.
212
00:10:01,607 --> 00:10:02,814
[thunder rumbles]
213
00:10:02,816 --> 00:10:04,357
Little lisa simpson.
214
00:10:04,359 --> 00:10:06,026
You really made something
of yourself
215
00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:08,153
After I made mincemeat
of your brother.
216
00:10:08,155 --> 00:10:09,571
Come to thank me?
217
00:10:09,573 --> 00:10:11,531
-No.
-Rude.
218
00:10:11,533 --> 00:10:13,533
I don't have time
for your games, bob.
219
00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:14,576
I'm working on a--
220
00:10:14,578 --> 00:10:15,660
Yes, a case so confounding
221
00:10:15,662 --> 00:10:17,537
You're actually willing
to seek my help.
222
00:10:17,539 --> 00:10:20,832
The rube goldberg sherri
is actually quite impressive.
223
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,125
Hat tip, psychopath.
224
00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:24,210
What about
the identical messages?
225
00:10:24,212 --> 00:10:26,996
How can they all be "the first"?
226
00:10:26,998 --> 00:10:28,465
Really, professor simpson,
227
00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:31,134
Am I meant to spoon-feed you
all the answers?
228
00:10:31,136 --> 00:10:33,970
Speak in riddles or drop a clue
in a clever anagram
229
00:10:33,972 --> 00:10:36,806
Hidden in something
I've just said right now.
230
00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:38,266
This is a waste of time.
231
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:40,060
Perhaps a limerick will help.
232
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:44,230
That turned poor bart's head
to spaghetti.
233
00:10:44,232 --> 00:10:46,733
You're gonna die
in that cell, bob.
234
00:10:46,735 --> 00:10:48,568
And when that happens,
235
00:10:48,570 --> 00:10:50,028
Wherever I am,
236
00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:52,030
I'll be dancing.
237
00:10:58,622 --> 00:11:02,165
Can you think of anyone who
would've wanted to hurt sherri?
238
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:05,043
No, everybody loved
my big sister.
239
00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:06,503
Big sister?
240
00:11:06,505 --> 00:11:07,837
You guys were twins.
241
00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:10,423
Yes, but sherri was born first.
242
00:11:10,425 --> 00:11:14,761
Probably makes sense for you
to be my husband now, huh?
243
00:11:14,763 --> 00:11:16,221
Sherri is the first.
244
00:11:16,223 --> 00:11:19,557
Rod flanders, dermott spuckler,
all firstborns,
245
00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:21,059
That's the pattern.
246
00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:22,852
And bob said something
about an anagram
247
00:11:22,854 --> 00:11:24,688
Taking us to the killer's lair.
248
00:11:25,691 --> 00:11:27,565
[gasps] that's it.
249
00:11:30,362 --> 00:11:31,528
[tires screech]
250
00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:37,492
[both gasp]
251
00:11:38,662 --> 00:11:39,661
[clanging]
252
00:11:39,663 --> 00:11:40,704
Stay here.
253
00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:44,165
[creaking]
254
00:11:45,001 --> 00:11:47,377
Hey, meat hooks, hook meat much?
255
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:49,087
Ha-ha--
256
00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:53,842
Nelson?
257
00:11:53,844 --> 00:11:56,136
Nelson, where are you?
258
00:11:58,056 --> 00:12:00,265
[screams]
259
00:12:01,309 --> 00:12:02,559
[panting]
260
00:12:04,396 --> 00:12:05,687
[gasps]
261
00:12:05,689 --> 00:12:09,065
The killer's lair looks
just like my old bedroom.
262
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:11,151
But how? Ooh.
263
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:13,486
Maybe the killer's
on the security footage.
264
00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:18,825
No! It can't be!
265
00:12:18,827 --> 00:12:21,119
[grunts] freeze!
266
00:12:21,121 --> 00:12:22,245
-[handcuffs click]
-wha...?
267
00:12:22,247 --> 00:12:23,830
I can't be the killer!
268
00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:26,374
I turned my trauma into healing!
269
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:28,001
Oprah said so!
270
00:12:28,003 --> 00:12:29,669
[thunder rumbling]
271
00:12:29,671 --> 00:12:32,046
I'm sorry for the imbroglio,
but if the chef de cuisine
272
00:12:32,048 --> 00:12:34,716
Insists on calling it
taco tuesdays,
273
00:12:34,718 --> 00:12:36,718
He can't very well serve flautas
274
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,720
And expect us not
to make a fuss.
275
00:12:38,722 --> 00:12:40,221
[door locks]
276
00:12:41,516 --> 00:12:43,099
Hello, bob.
277
00:12:43,101 --> 00:12:45,477
H-how did you get in here?
278
00:12:45,479 --> 00:12:47,812
Well, I knew if I killed
enough people
279
00:12:47,814 --> 00:12:50,064
In the most gruesome
possible ways,
280
00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:52,233
They'd send me to your prison.
281
00:12:52,235 --> 00:12:54,194
But to get into your cell?
282
00:12:54,196 --> 00:12:56,237
I had a little help.
283
00:12:59,868 --> 00:13:01,409
Lisa the killer.
284
00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:03,286
I never thought
you had it in you.
285
00:13:03,288 --> 00:13:06,247
The lisa you knew didn't.
286
00:13:06,249 --> 00:13:08,541
But I'm another story.
287
00:13:08,543 --> 00:13:10,043
Oh, really?
288
00:13:10,045 --> 00:13:11,920
Split personalities?
289
00:13:11,922 --> 00:13:13,254
Trope alert!
290
00:13:13,256 --> 00:13:15,715
Call the first thought police.
291
00:13:15,717 --> 00:13:17,801
Professor lisa had no idea
292
00:13:17,803 --> 00:13:19,636
She was my accomplice.
293
00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:24,808
But she's gone now.
294
00:13:24,810 --> 00:13:26,601
She was my last victim.
295
00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:29,604
Or, rather, second to last.
296
00:13:29,606 --> 00:13:31,731
The penultimate.
297
00:13:31,733 --> 00:13:33,441
[grumbles]
298
00:13:36,488 --> 00:13:38,988
? he remains an ?
299
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:42,116
? en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en ?
300
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:44,077
? en... ?
301
00:13:44,079 --> 00:13:47,664
-[screaming]
-? ...Glishman. ?
302
00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,462
[munching]
303
00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:55,797
Simpson.
304
00:13:55,799 --> 00:13:57,715
No eating in the turbine room.
305
00:13:57,717 --> 00:13:59,092
Since when?
306
00:14:01,263 --> 00:14:04,013
Pfft. The nanny state
wins again.
307
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:06,099
No tanning in the reactor core,
308
00:14:06,101 --> 00:14:08,351
No texting while driving
and eating ribs.
309
00:14:08,353 --> 00:14:10,895
Can't even trim your hedges
with a machine gun.
310
00:14:10,897 --> 00:14:12,564
When did everyone get so scared?
311
00:14:12,566 --> 00:14:16,442
The world would be fine if
people just used common sense.
312
00:14:16,444 --> 00:14:17,610
Like me.
313
00:14:17,612 --> 00:14:19,070
Ah! Jailbreak!
314
00:14:32,002 --> 00:14:34,711
Woman. Woman.
315
00:14:38,717 --> 00:14:41,968
Homer, one. Nanny state, zero.
316
00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:43,469
[munching]
317
00:14:44,472 --> 00:14:47,056
[groaning]
318
00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:48,766
[gurgling]
319
00:14:48,768 --> 00:14:51,269
Stupid radioactive garbage donut
320
00:14:51,271 --> 00:14:54,230
Mutating my dna while I sleep.
321
00:14:56,401 --> 00:15:00,278
Hey, who stole
my flanders's newspaper?
322
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:01,529
Sorry about that, homer-ino,
323
00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:04,616
But I-I whited out the crossword
after I did it,
324
00:15:04,618 --> 00:15:06,034
So you could enjoy it, too.
325
00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:07,911
[gurgling]
326
00:15:07,913 --> 00:15:10,163
-[belches]
-ah.
327
00:15:10,165 --> 00:15:12,874
Better from the chimney
than the furnace, am I right?
328
00:15:12,876 --> 00:15:14,459
[laughs]
329
00:15:14,461 --> 00:15:15,793
[groans]
330
00:15:15,795 --> 00:15:19,130
So, you see, there's nothing
in the bible that says
331
00:15:19,132 --> 00:15:23,468
A pastor and his wife
can't take separate vacations.
332
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:25,053
[grunts softly]
333
00:15:27,432 --> 00:15:31,017
Daddy, are you being tickled
by the holy spirit?
334
00:15:31,019 --> 00:15:32,977
[gurgling]
335
00:15:32,979 --> 00:15:35,396
[moaning]
336
00:15:39,653 --> 00:15:43,529
[gasps] I've been neighborino'd
into home-diddly-omer.
337
00:15:43,531 --> 00:15:47,533
[gasps] and why am I in church
when football is on?
338
00:15:47,535 --> 00:15:48,701
[all gasping]
339
00:15:48,703 --> 00:15:49,953
[belches]
340
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:52,413
[terrified chatter]
341
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:55,833
[all screaming, belching]
342
00:15:55,835 --> 00:15:57,669
[all groaning, grumbling]
343
00:15:58,797 --> 00:16:00,546
Kiss my ass, church-os.
344
00:16:00,548 --> 00:16:05,176
I'm fat, I'm bald, and
I've never felt sexier, baby.
345
00:16:05,178 --> 00:16:08,262
-Why, you little...
-[choking]
346
00:16:08,264 --> 00:16:09,806
Woo-hoo!
347
00:16:09,808 --> 00:16:11,975
[all belching]
348
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:14,936
[belches]
349
00:16:16,272 --> 00:16:19,983
[kent brockman over tv]
a mysterious afflictionhas descended upon springfield.
350
00:16:19,985 --> 00:16:23,069
Citizens of every age, race and catchphrase
351
00:16:23,071 --> 00:16:27,365
Are mysteriously transforming into bald, pear-shaped doofi.
352
00:16:28,994 --> 00:16:32,912
[sing-songy]
donut stu has diabetes type 2.
353
00:16:32,914 --> 00:16:34,664
[belches]
354
00:16:36,751 --> 00:16:38,334
News is stupid.
355
00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:39,961
Somebody put on wrestling.
356
00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:41,838
Do all these burping baldos
357
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,007
Remind you of anyone?
358
00:16:44,009 --> 00:16:46,300
I'd know that
butt scratch anywhere.
359
00:16:46,302 --> 00:16:48,344
Everyone's turning into dad.
360
00:16:51,599 --> 00:16:53,391
[screams]
361
00:16:54,769 --> 00:16:56,769
[belching]
362
00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:07,780
Uh, children, your father's
less than stellar genetic code
363
00:17:07,782 --> 00:17:10,908
Is spreading through
burp-borne transmission.
364
00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:12,702
If we're going
to cure this virus,
365
00:17:12,704 --> 00:17:14,078
We need his dna.
366
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,956
You three are the only ones
impervious to the virus.
367
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,292
You have got to find him.
368
00:17:19,294 --> 00:17:21,502
Hmm. It is 11:30 in the morning.
369
00:17:22,756 --> 00:17:24,964
[indistinct chatter]
370
00:17:24,966 --> 00:17:26,883
-Beer, moe.
-Beer, moe.
371
00:17:26,885 --> 00:17:28,176
A-beer, a-moe.
372
00:17:28,178 --> 00:17:29,594
Have you seen our dad?
373
00:17:29,596 --> 00:17:32,597
No, just these hundreds
of silly versions of him,
374
00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:34,974
Which is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
375
00:17:34,976 --> 00:17:36,684
I mean,
I'm printing money over here.
376
00:17:36,686 --> 00:17:37,852
[barking]
377
00:17:37,854 --> 00:17:40,563
Coming right up,
santa's little homer.
378
00:17:40,565 --> 00:17:43,816
Real dad wasn't at the
bowling alley, the candy store,
379
00:17:43,818 --> 00:17:46,694
Or mocking the hippos
at the zoo.
380
00:17:46,696 --> 00:17:47,987
Wait.
381
00:17:47,989 --> 00:17:49,697
Dad ate a bucket
of this chicken last night.
382
00:17:49,699 --> 00:17:52,700
When that happens, where does he
always spend the next day?
383
00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:56,079
[homer]
I'll be out in a minute.
384
00:17:56,081 --> 00:17:57,830
Um, is this really the most
385
00:17:57,832 --> 00:17:59,582
Convenient bathroom
for your father?
386
00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:01,834
It's the closest one
mom will let him use.
387
00:18:01,836 --> 00:18:05,004
Dad, we need you
to save the world.
388
00:18:05,006 --> 00:18:05,838
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
389
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,048
Can you believe some idiot
390
00:18:07,050 --> 00:18:09,967
Left this perfectly good
back scratcher in there?
391
00:18:09,969 --> 00:18:12,512
Look, it goes all...
392
00:18:12,514 --> 00:18:14,597
The way... Down.
393
00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:16,432
[moans]
394
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:17,391
What?
395
00:18:18,645 --> 00:18:21,479
Now, if you'll just board
the frink-ama-copter--
396
00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:23,689
-We're not calling it that.
-[grumbles]
397
00:18:23,691 --> 00:18:26,901
And then we'll pop your dna
in to the frink-tabulizer--
398
00:18:26,903 --> 00:18:28,686
We're not calling it that.
399
00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:31,030
[muttering]
400
00:18:31,032 --> 00:18:33,491
And everything will go back
to the way it was.
401
00:18:33,493 --> 00:18:36,035
Wait. Hold on.
Why would I want that?
402
00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:37,954
Finally, everyone thinks
the way I do.
403
00:18:37,956 --> 00:18:40,998
Nobody's making up stupid rules
about bicycle helmets
404
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,500
Or where you can smoke cigars.
405
00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:44,335
-You want to drive
without a seatbelt?
-[tires screech]
406
00:18:44,337 --> 00:18:46,003
Facetime while jaywalking?
407
00:18:46,005 --> 00:18:47,463
-Enjoy a sugary soda?
-[tires screech]
408
00:18:47,465 --> 00:18:50,091
Go ahead!
You're not hurting anyone!
409
00:18:50,093 --> 00:18:51,717
It's a utopia.
410
00:18:51,719 --> 00:18:53,469
No, a me-topia!
411
00:18:53,471 --> 00:18:57,223
Yes, well, you don't really want
everyone to be like you.
412
00:18:57,225 --> 00:18:59,976
Earth-shattering reveal!
413
00:18:59,978 --> 00:19:01,102
[screaming]
414
00:19:01,104 --> 00:19:02,520
[chuckling �� la homer]
415
00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:06,065
When did insurance commercials
get so funny?
416
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:08,359
[gasps] marge!
417
00:19:08,361 --> 00:19:10,361
Cooperating with us
is the only way
418
00:19:10,363 --> 00:19:12,947
To get your wife back to normal.
419
00:19:12,949 --> 00:19:16,367
You've never looked
more beautiful.
420
00:19:16,369 --> 00:19:18,661
[kissing]
421
00:19:18,663 --> 00:19:20,872
Scooch over, gorgeous.
422
00:19:20,874 --> 00:19:22,248
When we get home,
423
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:24,542
Let's you and I bump muzzles.
424
00:19:24,544 --> 00:19:28,171
Please. Please! If we don't have
some competent people left
425
00:19:28,173 --> 00:19:30,756
To run things,
society will collapse!
426
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:32,300
Coders to run the internet
427
00:19:32,302 --> 00:19:34,594
That feeds you
the latest misinformation.
428
00:19:34,596 --> 00:19:37,889
Pilots to fly the planes
you need to be restrained on.
429
00:19:37,891 --> 00:19:40,016
I mean,
a world without experts--
430
00:19:40,018 --> 00:19:42,101
Does beaker ever shut up?
431
00:19:42,103 --> 00:19:43,978
[chuckles] good one, me-marge.
432
00:19:43,980 --> 00:19:45,479
Mm, well,
you leave me no choice.
433
00:19:45,481 --> 00:19:47,648
I'm calling in
a nuclear air strike
434
00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:51,027
To obliterate all
the homerized springfielders,
435
00:19:51,029 --> 00:19:52,570
Including, very sadly,
436
00:19:52,572 --> 00:19:54,780
The touring company
of kinky boots.
437
00:19:54,782 --> 00:19:57,033
Obliterating in three, two--
438
00:19:57,035 --> 00:19:58,367
Hey, you know what you need?
439
00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:01,454
A nice, relaxing scratch
on the back.
440
00:20:02,248 --> 00:20:05,958
No! No! Oh, a lifetime
of study and education
441
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,126
Down the... [groans]
442
00:20:07,128 --> 00:20:08,794
[speaking gibberish]
443
00:20:08,796 --> 00:20:11,130
? this must be just like ?
444
00:20:11,132 --> 00:20:13,633
? living in paradise ?
445
00:20:15,887 --> 00:20:19,597
? and I don't want to go home ?
446
00:20:19,599 --> 00:20:21,098
[whoops]
447
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:25,978
? this must be just like living in paradise ?
448
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,773
-? just like paradise ?
-[whoops]
449
00:20:28,775 --> 00:20:31,734
? and I don't want to go home ?
450
00:20:31,736 --> 00:20:32,735
[whoops]
451
00:20:32,737 --> 00:20:35,404
? and I don't want to go ?
452
00:20:35,406 --> 00:20:36,447
? this must be ?
453
00:20:36,449 --> 00:20:40,117
? just like living in paradise ?
454
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,203
[all belching]
455
00:20:42,205 --> 00:20:45,331
? and I don't want to go home. ?
456
00:20:50,255 --> 00:20:54,173
Captioning sponsored by
20th century fox television
457
00:20:54,175 --> 00:20:58,386
And fox broadcasting company
458
00:20:58,388 --> 00:21:01,964
And toyota.
459
00:21:01,966 --> 00:21:06,394
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
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