All language subtitles for Reba.S04E07.All.Fore.One.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

And then daddy
snagged the ball out of the air.

And then he zigged. And then he zagged.

And then he zagged again
to get away from the defense,

and he scored! Touchdown!

And daddy was gonna spike the ball,

but he kissed it... [babbles]

because he loved it so much.

Okay. Football's over. It is nap time.

Oh, you said if I stopped
being crabby, no nap.

I meant Elizabeth.

Come on, Cheyenne. I just got home,
and I want to play with her some more.

Well, play on the way upstairs.

Okay, Elizabeth.
It's time for the halftime show.

[imitating marching band]

Yeah, that'll calm her down for her nap.

- Hey, Reba.
- Hey.

- I brought you a little something.
- Oh.

[imitates trumpets]

[laughs]
Straight from Brock's dental practice.

It's a little something
we like to call your 20% share

of the monthly profits.

- Where's the rest of it?
- That's why I didn't mail it.

I'd have to deduct the price
of the stamp, and you'd owe me money.

Oh, Lord, it is funny how Brock's practice
is making so little money.

No, it's not. He's taking too much time
off to chase his "pro golf" dream,

and he's running his dental practice
into the ground.

Amen to that, Reverend.

He needs to make a decision
what he's gonna do.

Sing it, sister.

One or the other, golf or dentistry.

You can put mustard on that and eat it.

So, are you gonna talk to him?

Oh, no way. [chuckles]

Talkin' to Brock about how I feel
would be exactly the wrong thing to do.

Why?

Reba, our relationship
is in a very delicate place right now.

We've only been in therapy a short time,

and the last thing
I want to do is pressure him.

Actually, the last thing
I want to do is go over to the mall

with the back of my dress
tucked into my pantyhose.

Stupid kids with those phones
that take pictures! [babbles]

Then if you're not gonna talk any sense
into your husband, I guess I will.

You can dip that in batter, put a stick
in it and sell it at the state fair.

How many carnies did you date?

Five.

And a half, but he was a little person!

[Reba] Ha, hey!

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

Oh, you suck, Hart.

Hey, Reba. How's it goin'?

Look at this. Doesn't this embarrass you?

No. Barbra Jean's the one
who picked out the little ducky pattern.

The amount.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

It's just that I've been spending
a lot of time practicing my putting.

Oh, for the love of meat loaf.

I don't play the game,
but you want it to go in, right?

[chuckles] What's your point?

Quit this "pro golf" deal.

Go back to being a full-time dentist.

I can't give up now.
I'm in the middle of a tournament.

Yeah, how's it goin'?

I'm hanging in there.

You know, as usual.

God.

Really? The best you've ever done
in a tournament is Mr. Congeniality.

[chuckles] You know what?
It's not easy juggling two careers.

When I'm out on the golf course,
I should be thinking about golf.

Instead, I'm worried about
fresh magazines in the waiting room.

That's the point, Brock.
Your head's in two places.

Three if you count where I think it is.

You've got to make a choice

before this business
is completely worthless!

For your information, Reba, a dentist
in the building wants to buy my practice.

Yes, that's right.
He's already made an offer.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Okay, then I changed my mind.
You're a great golfer. Take the money.

It's not that great an offer.

More reason to jump on it
before this practice becomes a ghost town.

I tell you what. Between tournaments,

I'll spend more time
working on the practice.

No, Brock. It doesn't work that way.

You have to make a choice
to be a golfer or a dentist.

Maybe I should make a decision.
I don't know. I just can't decide.

Brock, remember when you wanted to grow
Muttonchops and a Fu Manchu,

but you couldn't decide which one
to grow, so you just grew both of 'em?

Ah. The Fu Man chops.

You looked ridiculous.
And I have pictures to prove it.

So if you don't decide
what you're gonna be,

I'm gonna take a half-page ad
out in the newspaper,

and I'm gonna put that picture in it.

- I'll think about it, okay?
- No, don't think about it.

Don't give yourself an out.

Commit. Commit to something! Just commit!

Hey, you know what?
You go ahead and run that picture,

'cause I looked good, sister.

[Van] Where are you?

Where's daddy's little girl?

Daddy's coming to get you! Yes, I am!

And you wonder why she's hiding.

I've been playing hide-and-seek
with her for, like, an hour.

She is great at this game.

She's at school.

Morning, sweetie.

Morning.

Hey, what's this I hear about
Elizabeth going to preschool?

- Yeah, that's right.
- So the rumors are true?

Van, I told you about it
on the phone last week.

What probably happened was

when he heard the word "school,"
he fell asleep.

What probably happened was, out of habit,
I know you are, but what am I?

You said you were gonna check out
some preschools, not sign her up.

Yes, I did.

Okay, I admit it.

Sometimes when I'm talking
to you, I put the phone down.

So, from now on,

do not say anything important
unless you hear me breathing.

And don't say anything to me--

Well, let's just leave it at that.

I had to sign her up right then,

or she would've been
on this huge waitlist.

But what is this place? Is it safe?

Does it have
rusty play equipment or slides

or poison arsenic-treated wood? Hmm?

Arsenic wood?

Uh-huh. I saw a report on the news.

Or I imagined it.
But the point is, I don't like this.

Van, you are just being difficult.

Yes, I am.

I'm only home for a little while,
and I don't see her enough as it is.

Besides, next thing you know,
she'll be readin' and writin',

and she'll never come back to the tribe.

[mock laughing]

[cartoon playing on TV]

Jake, I said one hour of TV a day.

One hour?

Can I make it Desperate Housewives?

Go upstairs and do your homework.

Can't watch TV?
Every kid in the world watches TV.

I'm some sort of giant freak.
That's what I am.

Hey, Reba. Can you talk?

Yes. Wait. No.

Oh, I can't decide.

Frustrating, isn't it?

I thought about what you said,

- and I've decided to sell the practice.
- Seriously?

Yeah. I called the guy.
He's sending over papers.

Great! When do I get my share
of the money?

Soon, soon. You know,
I thought about what you said

and made a commitment,
and everything changed.

I mean, I played great today.
I'm on top of the leader board!

Great! When do I get
my share of the money?

Wanna hear about how I birdied

the last three holes
to grab a share of the lead?

No. I wanna hear about
when I get my share of the money!

[laughs]

- Okay, okay. I get it, I get it.
- Yeah.

I just wanted to say thanks, Reba.
You are a genius.

Oh! I've never been tested. But thank you.

Well, you're welcome.
I'm gonna head to the driving range

and work on my interview skills.

"No, I'm not the next Tiger Woods."

"Why, there's only one Tiger Woods.
I am pretty good."

[screams]

Don't do that!

How does someone so big move so quiet?

I may be big, but I move like a cat.

So, uh, did, uh...
Did Brock tell you his decision?

Yes. But, seriously, you're in heels.

You know, he said that...
that you talked him into it. [chuckles]

You must be proud of yourself.

Well, let's see. I got
Brock's life back on track,

I'm gonna make some money,

and I've discovered some
fantastic fat-free cookies.

- I'd say my life's doin' pretty good.
- Oh.

I'm, uh, really glad to hear that.

Because you've ruined mine!

Talk about Desperate Housewives.

Okay, Barbra Jean, what's goin' on?

Oh. Have you come to gloat?

To see how what you've done
has sucked the life out of me?

Like taking the fat out of these
cookies has sucked out the flavor?

What have I done?

Oh, no. No. I'm not gonna get tricked

into having
a rational discussion with you.

You always win those.

I'm just gonna stand here

until my pain shames you into tears.

Behold the misery. [sobs]

Behold me leavin'.

Hey!

Reba, get back here!

Okay, okay, okay, fine.
You've suffered enough. We'll talk.

What's goin' on, Barbra Jean?

I thought you wanted Brock
to make a choice.

No! I wanted him to quit playing golf!

- But you didn't say that.
- Well, of course I didn't say that.

If he thinks I pushed him
into giving up his dream,

he would resent me
for the rest of his life.

That's why I manipulated you
into confronting him.

That way he'd resent you.
You know, win-win.

Hey!

You did not manipulate me.

Oh, give yourself a shake, peaches.

The tiny check? The friendly banter?

I knew you'd fly off the handle,
and it worked.

The puppet master
had control of the puppet.

But there was just one thing
I didn't count on. You are a bad puppet.

Look, I know at first
none of us were thrilled

about Brock's new career choice--

It wasn't a career choice, Reba.
It was an escape.

You know, we used to have
a happy marriage,

until one day he woke up and realized
that wasn't enough for him.

Well, as long as he is still golfing,
it means he's still searching.

And I can't feel secure again
until he's committed to Henry and me.

Until we're enough to make him happy.
Thanks to you, that's never gonna happen.

Hey, that's not my fault.

I never said that
I was gonna make him quit.

I said I was going to try
to get him to make a decision.

What's with the legalese?

It's not legalese. It's the truth.

No. Reba, the truth is
my marriage is probably over

because you couldn't submit to my will!

Yeah, well, I never asked to be a puppet!

I wanna be a real boy!

He built a small house called a cocoon...

[muffled] Hey, Cheyenne.

I'm hooked on phonics.

...pushed his way out, and he was...

a beautiful butterfly.

Okay, everybody, let's follow
Miss Jeannie out to the recess area.

[children] Yay!

[boy] I wanna go on the monkey bars.

Van, isn't this nice?

[laughs]

- Hi, Cheyenne.
- Hi, Miss Laurie.

This is my husband, Van.

Hi, Miss Laurie.

You know, we were gonna
decorate our room like this.

It's so nice to finally meet you.

You know, Elizabeth talks about you
all the time.

She always says,
"Daddy's away at 'Marina' Football."

- It's so cute.
- Oh, I play arena football.

Probably why she says that.
She's just a kid.

She gets her words mixed up, you know.

Yeah, I got that.

We just wanted to come by
so Van could feel more comfortable

where Elizabeth is while he's away.

I'm glad you did. Here.

What's this?

Oh, Elizabeth drew it last week.

- Aww.
- It's "Daddy on a plane."

Maybe you can take it to Denver with you.

What was the assignment?

"Draw a picture
that sticks a knife in daddy's heart"?

No, I believe it was "use blue."

- [exhales]
- Could you excuse us for a minute?

Sure. You know,
when the kids get emotional,

I let them take a juice box
from the refrigerator.

Thanks, Miss Laurie.

Van, why are you acting
all sad all of a sudden?

I'm a terrible father, Cheyenne.

No, you're not. You're a great father.

Mmm. I should be here.

I should be sitting here
watching her every day...

and enjoying one of these
delicious juice boxes.

But I'm not. I'm in Denver. You know why?

Because I'm selfish.
I'm a selfish, evil toad.

[scoffs] You are in Denver, yes, Van,

but it's because it's your job.

Yeah, my job as a selfish, evil toad.

Honey, stop.

Even if you weren't in Denver,
you wouldn't be here every day.

You'd be at some other job
you had around here.

Oh, another job around here?
Are they hiring for selfish, evil toads?

Honey, don't you realize that,
because you're gone a lot,

the times that you are home are that much

- more special to her?
- [grumbles]

She looks forward to it
for days before you get here

and talks about it for days
after you're gone.

You're like Christmas to her every week.

I'm like Christmas?

Like Christmas and Halloween all combined,

with Fourth of July mixed in there.

[chuckles]

Sweetie, you could not be
more special to her.

- Aww.
- Mmm.

Thanks, Cheyenne. I love you so much.

- I love you too.
- [sighs]

You wanna go in the supply room?

[mouths] No.

I hope this is okay,
but Elizabeth wants you to come outside

so all her friends can meet
her "Marina Football" daddy.

- [chuckles]
- Aww. Let's go.

[sobbing]

I think I'm gonna need another juice box.

[sniffles]

- Barbra Jean, are you okay?
- I'm fine. Why?

Well, these used to have
a pattern on them.

You just seem a little tense.

- I've never been more relaxed.
- [plate cracks]

[sputters] Would you look at that?

The water must have
softened it up. [chuckles]

Hey, Barbra Jean.

Kyra, can you give us a minute?

Sure.

- I'm not taking back anything I said.
- Barbra Jean--

Okay, fine. I take everything back.

I'm not mad at you. I'm...

I'm mad at my life.

How do you think I feel? I'm in it.

I can't stay mad at you. You know that.

My love for you is almost unnatural.

Barbra Jean, everything about
our relationship is unnatural.

What I came over to say was,

I'm sorry I didn't know
what you actually wanted.

I called a lawyer.

You can't sue me for being a bad puppet.

No.

A divorce lawyer.

What?

Yeah. I almost called yours.

I figured he could just white out
your names on the form and type in mine.

But to be frank, I don't think
he got you a very good deal.

Barbra Jean, I want you to listen to me.

Okay.

I've said this to you many times.

Listen very clearly.

You...

are...

crazy!

- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

No. It's... it's over, Reba.

When he decided to go
to that tournament today,

it meant he's chosen
to keep searching for...

for whatever it is he needs to find.

And I can't just sit around
cracking plates, hoping he'll come back.

Hey, guys. You will never believe
what happened at my golf tournament.

Oh, really? Was that today?

[plate cracks]

[sputtering]

Yeah. Yeah, it was. And I won.

Well, congratulations.

Guess what I did today?

Oh, oh! Hang on, Barbra Jean.

Let's hear about Brock's day.

So you won?

Yeah. Yeah, I played
the best round of golf in my life.

I beat the second-place guy
by six strokes.

Well, I hate to be the one
to burst your bubble,

that doesn't guarantee
that you'll win the next time.

I realize that.

And even if you do, so what?

Do you know what a winner is?

It's just the guy who lost the least.
Do you ever think about that?

Um, no.

Well, here's something else.

Do you remember yesterday when I came over
to your office all "geniusy"?

Well, I hate to admit it,
but I'd had a couple of beers first.

Reba, he's made his choice.

Has he?

And does he realize
what that choice could cost him?

Of course he doesn't.
All he ever thinks about is golf,

his little green mistress!

Well, you know what, Brock?
She can have you.

You know, until one day,
you're driving to see her,

and a... and a bowling alley
catches your eye.

Just-- Oh!

Barbra Jean, I don't think you understand.

Talk fast. You're running out of plates.

I'm done, honey. I'm quitting golf.

What?

Yeah. You know, I realized today
that I could be a professional golfer.

But what's it gonna cost me
and the people I love?

You take a look at what's happenin'
to Van, living over in Denver.

As great as that is for him,

all he talks about is how much
he misses his family.

[softly] Oh.

You...

Don't play me, blondie.

I am ready to blow.

- Honey. Honey.
- [sighs]

Honey, winning today put me in a place

where I could clearly see what
I wanted, what's important to me.

And it's you.

And it's working on fixing our family.

Yuck.

So, Reba, I'm sorry, but I'm not
gonna be selling my practice.

Ah, that's okay. With my 50%,
I'll be catchin' up pretty quick.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Reba, Reba, hey.

You only get 20%.

Oh, no. Not after I talk to my lawyer.

Word around town is I got
a pretty bad deal.

[theme music playing]