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1
00:00:04,890 --> 00:00:06,694
Kenny. Your boss is treating you
2
00:00:06,718 --> 00:00:08,338
like a piece of
dirt. That's right.
3
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:11,027
Kenny, don't... Don't
be a piece of dirt.
4
00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:14,475
All right, then. I'll be
back in 60 seconds.
5
00:00:14,613 --> 00:00:15,958
Who's that, Dr. Cathy?
6
00:00:16,095 --> 00:00:18,095
I love this Dr. Cathy.
7
00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:19,347
This is how you
spend your morning,
8
00:00:19,371 --> 00:00:20,681
listening to a hack psychologist
9
00:00:20,819 --> 00:00:21,992
exploit the troubled?
10
00:00:22,130 --> 00:00:25,922
No, not just that.
Also, I made juice.
11
00:00:28,232 --> 00:00:29,512
You've been at that for an hour.
12
00:00:29,577 --> 00:00:31,784
I know. 50 more
oranges and a Danish,
13
00:00:31,922 --> 00:00:33,955
we got ourselves a
continental breakfast.
14
00:00:34,093 --> 00:00:36,231
I got the stuff for
Uncle Phil's lunch.
15
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,990
Oh, he's gonna love that.
16
00:00:38,128 --> 00:00:39,128
It's amazing.
17
00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:40,748
The man is going
back to high school.
18
00:00:40,886 --> 00:00:42,438
Sweetie, it's not that strange.
19
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,136
A lot of people drop
out of high school,
20
00:00:44,265 --> 00:00:45,403
and then they go back later.
21
00:00:45,541 --> 00:00:48,402
Yeah, not 63 years later.
22
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,274
I'm pretty sure he'll
be the only kid in school
23
00:00:50,298 --> 00:00:51,782
eating pickled herring.
24
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:52,919
Boo!
25
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,126
Jeez! Ah!
26
00:00:54,264 --> 00:00:55,746
Sorry. Sorry. You
should really ask me
27
00:00:55,884 --> 00:00:57,164
to give you back the house keys.
28
00:00:57,194 --> 00:00:58,505
Give me back those house keys.
29
00:00:58,643 --> 00:00:59,883
Oh! Juice.
30
00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,301
Don't finish that. I just... Oh!
31
00:01:01,332 --> 00:01:04,021
How were you raised? Ahh.
32
00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:05,159
Hey. Wanna scream again?
33
00:01:05,227 --> 00:01:06,262
No. Not really.
34
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,538
Ah! Oh, my!
35
00:01:09,675 --> 00:01:13,158
Sweet mother of all things.
36
00:01:13,295 --> 00:01:14,537
What... What...
37
00:01:16,881 --> 00:01:18,054
What is that?
38
00:01:18,192 --> 00:01:19,295
Do you like 'em?
39
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:20,985
They're not shy.
40
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,571
I saw this sign on the D train
41
00:01:22,709 --> 00:01:24,191
for this really cool
plastic surgeon,
42
00:01:24,329 --> 00:01:26,880
so... ba-boom.
43
00:01:27,018 --> 00:01:28,639
You got breast implants
from the D train?
44
00:01:28,777 --> 00:01:32,432
More... It's more like the
double-D train, actually.
45
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:33,742
You wanna touch 'em?
46
00:01:33,879 --> 00:01:34,948
Can I?
47
00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:36,741
She meant me. Oh.
48
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:38,190
Anyone. Come on, touch 'em.
49
00:01:38,327 --> 00:01:39,327
Really? Really?
50
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,223
Yeah. Feel 'em.
They're like real.
51
00:01:42,775 --> 00:01:43,775
Eh?
52
00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:45,878
This one's good.
53
00:01:46,016 --> 00:01:47,051
Yeah.
54
00:01:47,189 --> 00:01:48,189
This one's...
55
00:01:48,222 --> 00:01:49,809
Nothing wrong with this one.
56
00:01:49,946 --> 00:01:50,946
You got...
57
00:01:50,981 --> 00:01:52,326
You got big new breasts.
58
00:01:52,464 --> 00:01:54,015
What do you think?
59
00:01:56,119 --> 00:01:58,187
Nothing. There's no
thoughts in my head, honey.
60
00:02:00,256 --> 00:02:01,738
Ooh! I gotta run. Okay.
61
00:02:01,876 --> 00:02:04,220
Can you, though?
Can you run with these?
62
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,738
I have to depart is what I mean.
63
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,082
Where you goin'? Stick around.
64
00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:08,497
I'm make some more juice.
65
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,782
Are you sure this
is where Uncle Phil
66
00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:13,841
told us to meet him?
67
00:02:13,979 --> 00:02:14,979
This is what he said,
68
00:02:15,081 --> 00:02:16,874
right in front of locker 214.
69
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,219
17 left,
70
00:02:18,357 --> 00:02:20,287
15 right,
71
00:02:20,426 --> 00:02:21,495
12 left.
72
00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:22,667
Who's that?
73
00:02:22,805 --> 00:02:23,805
I don't know.
74
00:02:23,942 --> 00:02:25,356
17 left,
75
00:02:25,495 --> 00:02:27,046
15 right, 12 left.
76
00:02:27,184 --> 00:02:28,425
Oh, my God.
77
00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:30,124
Sounds like it's coming
from inside the locker.
78
00:02:30,148 --> 00:02:33,632
17 left, 15 right, 12 left!
79
00:02:33,769 --> 00:02:35,976
Oh, my God. Did you get it?
80
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,458
Uncle Phil! Uncle Phil!
81
00:02:43,389 --> 00:02:46,181
Uncle Phil, are you all right?
82
00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:48,699
I make a living. No, no, no...
83
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,595
I mean, for a person
on a fixed income,
84
00:02:50,732 --> 00:02:52,319
you have to learn
to buy in bulk.
85
00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:56,007
Yeah, no, no. You were
stuck inside the locker?
86
00:02:56,145 --> 00:02:59,249
It's like being in a tomb in
Westminster Abbey. Terrible.
87
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:00,787
You know, they
bury them standing up
88
00:03:00,869 --> 00:03:02,731
in Westminster
Abbey. Oh, really?
89
00:03:02,869 --> 00:03:04,811
There's not a lot of room
for all the legends and kings.
90
00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:06,213
They're buried standing up.
91
00:03:06,351 --> 00:03:08,317
Can you imagine
standing for all eternity?
92
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:09,661
It's no good.
93
00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,041
Must be murder on your arches.
94
00:03:11,178 --> 00:03:13,420
How do they survive it?
95
00:03:13,558 --> 00:03:15,078
Even if the king of
England begs you...
96
00:03:15,109 --> 00:03:16,229
For some reason, if I should
97
00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:17,567
discover penicillin
or something...
98
00:03:17,591 --> 00:03:19,384
They want to bury me there,
99
00:03:19,522 --> 00:03:20,557
say no.
100
00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:23,142
I wanna lie flat.
101
00:03:24,349 --> 00:03:26,590
Like... Like Kansas.
102
00:03:28,004 --> 00:03:29,979
You know, you can see all
of Kansas from a high chair.
103
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,038
Really?
104
00:03:31,176 --> 00:03:33,555
That's how flat it is.
105
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:36,038
Every Kansas child
has a terrific view
106
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:37,382
of Kansas on a clear day.
107
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:38,772
They see a little Nebraska, too.
108
00:03:38,796 --> 00:03:40,692
How did you get in there?
109
00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:42,933
This monster, this bully...
110
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:44,726
Jared Frankenstein...
111
00:03:44,864 --> 00:03:47,277
He shoved me by the
hair, he pushed me in there.
112
00:03:47,416 --> 00:03:48,656
The kid's name is Frankenstein?
113
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:50,070
It's actually Finkelstein,
114
00:03:50,208 --> 00:03:51,322
but is should be Frankenstein.
115
00:03:51,346 --> 00:03:52,484
The lousy kid.
116
00:03:52,622 --> 00:03:54,794
Just finished with
puberty, 14 years old,
117
00:03:54,932 --> 00:03:57,966
he's got a mustache
like a Turkish dictator.
118
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:01,104
He has a mustache like
this. This is how big it is.
119
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,483
I gotta tell you,
120
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:04,655
that's how big this
kid is. That's a big kid.
121
00:04:04,792 --> 00:04:06,344
And he's only 14.
122
00:04:06,483 --> 00:04:08,172
Why did he put you in there?
123
00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:10,171
Why? Why is there war?
124
00:04:10,309 --> 00:04:13,067
Why is there suffering?
125
00:04:13,205 --> 00:04:15,757
Why is mackerel
such a fishy fish?
126
00:04:15,895 --> 00:04:19,066
You know? We're
not always told why.
127
00:04:19,204 --> 00:04:20,204
That's true. True.
128
00:04:20,239 --> 00:04:21,550
The main thing is you're okay.
129
00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:24,342
It must be just so tough for you
130
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,341
to be the new kid
in school, huh?
131
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,618
I can do it. I'm
equal to the task.
132
00:04:28,756 --> 00:04:29,756
Not only that, listen,
133
00:04:29,858 --> 00:04:31,445
I'm gonna do all my courses,
134
00:04:31,582 --> 00:04:34,271
and I'm also gonna try
out for the track team.
135
00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:35,789
The track team?
136
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,306
Yes. I was very
fast as a young man.
137
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,547
Remember Roger Bannister? Sure.
138
00:04:40,685 --> 00:04:43,478
He did a mile in
four minutes. Right.
139
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,512
Phil Buchman did a
mile in four minutes...
140
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,443
and 20 minutes.
141
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:52,235
A grand total of 24,
but Roger was worried.
142
00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:53,969
Is Buchman comin' up?
Is Buchman comin' up?
143
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:54,855
Where's Buchman?
144
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,373
I had no idea.
145
00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:58,304
You did so many things.
146
00:04:58,441 --> 00:05:00,268
There's very little in my years
147
00:05:00,407 --> 00:05:02,199
that I have not...
I've done everything.
148
00:05:02,337 --> 00:05:03,199
Everything?
149
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,716
Ask me something. All right.
150
00:05:04,854 --> 00:05:06,096
Did you, uh...
151
00:05:06,234 --> 00:05:08,096
Did you ever touch an owl?
152
00:05:08,233 --> 00:05:10,026
16 times.
153
00:05:10,164 --> 00:05:11,026
Really?
154
00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:12,544
I happen to love owls.
155
00:05:12,681 --> 00:05:14,521
There's one of the
softest things in the world,
156
00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:15,957
especially under their ruff.
157
00:05:16,095 --> 00:05:17,474
They're so soft.
158
00:05:17,612 --> 00:05:18,612
I didn't know that. Yes.
159
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,405
And I'll tell you something,
160
00:05:20,543 --> 00:05:22,139
if you ever see an owl
lying on the ground...
161
00:05:22,163 --> 00:05:24,094
An owl that hit a
limb, an accident...
162
00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:25,714
Don't try to turn
his head around.
163
00:05:25,852 --> 00:05:29,507
Okay. Because they
go 360, you know?
164
00:05:29,644 --> 00:05:31,024
That's their big selling point.
165
00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:32,782
You know, they
do a lot of thi...
166
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,713
Ooh. Prom night.
167
00:05:34,851 --> 00:05:36,264
That's why I'm here.
168
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,954
I'm here...
169
00:05:38,092 --> 00:05:41,574
I never got to ever
go to the prom night.
170
00:05:41,712 --> 00:05:42,895
Uncle Phil, if you
finish your courses,
171
00:05:42,919 --> 00:05:44,125
you can go to the prom.
172
00:05:44,263 --> 00:05:45,298
Really? Yeah.
173
00:05:45,436 --> 00:05:47,849
You must be an excellent mother.
174
00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:48,987
Thank you.
175
00:05:49,022 --> 00:05:50,780
Because you communicate.
176
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,608
My mother didn't understand us.
177
00:05:52,746 --> 00:05:54,401
We didn't speak
the same language.
178
00:05:54,539 --> 00:05:55,952
No? You had a generation gap?
179
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:58,469
No. We spoke English.
She spoke Polish.
180
00:05:58,607 --> 00:05:59,641
Oh.
181
00:05:59,779 --> 00:06:01,030
We didn't know
what the hell she...
182
00:06:01,054 --> 00:06:02,744
She'd say halugish, haligem.
183
00:06:02,882 --> 00:06:05,054
We didn't whether to go
to sleep or eat a piece of...
184
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,571
We didn't know what
that woman wanted.
185
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:09,549
I don't want you to be
late for your first day.
186
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:10,881
Here we go. This is it...
187
00:06:11,019 --> 00:06:12,364
American history. Mr. Brodsky.
188
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,122
All set? Here we go.
189
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,190
Wait. Firm embrace.
190
00:06:16,328 --> 00:06:18,087
Firm embrace.
191
00:06:18,225 --> 00:06:19,363
Firmer.
192
00:06:19,501 --> 00:06:21,052
Firmer.
193
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:22,397
Too firm.
194
00:06:22,535 --> 00:06:23,569
Oh, God.
195
00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:25,776
Thank you. Sorry.
196
00:06:25,913 --> 00:06:27,362
A little twinge
here, but I'm okay.
197
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,293
All right, here's your
books. Thank you.
198
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,948
That's so kind of you.
199
00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:32,603
I wanna be like a kid, you know.
200
00:06:32,741 --> 00:06:33,947
You got it. Here's your lunch.
201
00:06:34,085 --> 00:06:36,223
Mm! Thanks. I love that.
202
00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:39,050
You got it. I love you both.
203
00:06:39,188 --> 00:06:40,509
I'm gonna make
you very proud of me.
204
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,602
We know you are.
205
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:43,946
Good luck... Yes.
206
00:06:44,084 --> 00:06:45,084
To me. Right.
207
00:07:03,013 --> 00:07:04,293
What's the matter, you never saw
208
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,115
a 12th-grader before?
209
00:07:06,253 --> 00:07:07,253
Who are you?
210
00:07:07,357 --> 00:07:09,736
Philip Buchman,
your new student.
211
00:07:09,874 --> 00:07:11,770
Can I help you to your seat?
212
00:07:11,908 --> 00:07:13,563
Hello. Philip Buchman.
213
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,770
Philip Buchman,
your new classmate.
214
00:07:15,908 --> 00:07:17,252
Buchman here. New classmate.
215
00:07:17,391 --> 00:07:18,769
Buchman. Classmate.
216
00:07:18,907 --> 00:07:19,942
Don't worry.
217
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,735
A couple of years,
that'll all clear up.
218
00:07:21,873 --> 00:07:23,251
How you doin'?
219
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:25,355
Your new classmate,
Philip Buchman.
220
00:07:25,493 --> 00:07:26,613
Philip, take a seat, please.
221
00:07:26,665 --> 00:07:28,010
Me? Excuse me. Okay...
222
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,468
I just wanna take
out a few things
223
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,941
from my pencil box.
224
00:07:31,079 --> 00:07:33,836
I just wanna make
sure I have my ruler,
225
00:07:33,974 --> 00:07:36,319
my pencil, my eraser...
226
00:07:36,458 --> 00:07:37,905
In case I make a mistake.
227
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,802
I'm never without my compass.
228
00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,526
You always have to
have your compass.
229
00:07:41,664 --> 00:07:43,318
You must know
where true north is,
230
00:07:43,457 --> 00:07:46,111
or else you'll end up
living in South Jersey.
231
00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:50,179
All right. I am ready.
232
00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:53,731
Okay. Class...
233
00:07:53,869 --> 00:07:56,144
Picking up where we left off,
234
00:07:56,282 --> 00:07:58,593
on March 11, 1942,
235
00:07:58,731 --> 00:08:00,833
MacArthur left the
Philippines for Australia,
236
00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:03,178
proclaiming "I shall return."
237
00:08:03,315 --> 00:08:04,315
Wrong!
238
00:08:06,143 --> 00:08:07,454
Never said it.
239
00:08:07,592 --> 00:08:08,454
Excuse me?
240
00:08:08,592 --> 00:08:09,970
Never said it.
241
00:08:10,108 --> 00:08:10,970
Wrong.
242
00:08:11,108 --> 00:08:13,074
Never said it.
243
00:08:13,211 --> 00:08:14,591
I was there.
244
00:08:14,729 --> 00:08:16,107
He didn't say that.
245
00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,073
What MacArthur
actually said was,
246
00:08:19,211 --> 00:08:21,348
"People of the Philippines,
247
00:08:21,486 --> 00:08:23,348
"wonderful workin' with ya...
248
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:27,037
and I'll see ya around."
249
00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:29,003
Then he went into the PT boat,
250
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:30,554
and he left.
251
00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:35,036
He said, "I'll see ya around."
252
00:08:35,174 --> 00:08:36,657
That's what he
said. I was there.
253
00:08:36,795 --> 00:08:38,036
It's possible,
254
00:08:38,173 --> 00:08:39,977
it's just possible that
Mr. Buchman's recollection
255
00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:41,381
is a little hazy.
256
00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:42,770
Actually, MacArthur...
According to history...
257
00:08:42,794 --> 00:08:45,035
Said, "I shall return."
258
00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:47,207
And according to this picture
259
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:50,345
of me, Buchman, and MacArthur...
260
00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:52,655
I happened to be his driver.
261
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,240
I was sitting in the front.
262
00:08:54,379 --> 00:08:55,827
He was sitting in the back.
263
00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:57,482
And I know 'cause I was there.
264
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,482
He was very superstitious
about the driving.
265
00:08:59,619 --> 00:09:01,033
"No left turns.
266
00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:03,102
No left turns."
267
00:09:03,239 --> 00:09:04,101
I always had to
make right turns,
268
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,481
right turns.
269
00:09:05,619 --> 00:09:07,687
There was a chicken teriyaki
place two minutes away
270
00:09:07,825 --> 00:09:09,756
if you could make a left turn.
271
00:09:09,894 --> 00:09:11,722
No, no. He wanted
chicken teriyaki,
272
00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:14,135
I had to go all
around Australia.
273
00:09:14,273 --> 00:09:15,755
That's how superstitious he was.
274
00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:17,100
I understand, but...
275
00:09:17,238 --> 00:09:18,583
I gave him his corncob pipe.
276
00:09:18,721 --> 00:09:20,272
I said, "You gotta
look different."
277
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:21,593
I was the guy who
crushed his hat.
278
00:09:21,617 --> 00:09:23,137
Unfortunately, his
head was in it once.
279
00:09:23,203 --> 00:09:24,582
We had a little problem.
280
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,582
But I gave him that look.
281
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:27,961
I made MacArthur famous.
282
00:09:28,099 --> 00:09:31,029
Mr. Buchman, you know
who loves MacArthur stories?
283
00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:32,647
Our principal loves
MacArthur stories.
284
00:09:32,753 --> 00:09:34,167
Why don't you go tell him that?
285
00:09:34,305 --> 00:09:35,867
He's trying to get me
down to the principal's office.
286
00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:37,753
Down to the principal now.
287
00:09:37,891 --> 00:09:40,097
Students of American History,
288
00:09:40,235 --> 00:09:42,028
wonderful workin' with ya.
289
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,718
I'll see ya around.
290
00:09:43,856 --> 00:09:45,442
Fine. The principal. Get going.
291
00:09:53,199 --> 00:09:54,061
Hidi-hi.
292
00:09:54,199 --> 00:09:56,199
Hi.
293
00:09:56,337 --> 00:09:57,337
Is Jamie home?
294
00:09:57,372 --> 00:09:59,543
Um... no.
295
00:10:01,612 --> 00:10:03,750
Well, good.
296
00:10:18,955 --> 00:10:20,058
Hello.
297
00:10:21,127 --> 00:10:23,092
This is Mrs. Buchman.
298
00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:25,127
Oh. No, no.
299
00:10:25,265 --> 00:10:26,585
We can come to
the principal's office.
300
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:28,057
We'll be right there. Bye-bye.
301
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:35,919
Paul? Let them out.
302
00:10:37,125 --> 00:10:38,505
Let them be free.
303
00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:39,987
Paul.
304
00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:42,676
What happened?
305
00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:44,158
You were dreaming.
306
00:10:44,296 --> 00:10:45,331
I was?
307
00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:47,607
Oh. Yes, I was.
308
00:10:47,744 --> 00:10:49,572
What were you dreaming
about? Let who be free?
309
00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:51,917
Hm? What's that?
310
00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:53,675
Let who be free?
311
00:10:53,813 --> 00:10:55,641
The hostages.
312
00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:00,812
What hostages?
313
00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:01,950
What hostages?
314
00:11:01,984 --> 00:11:02,984
The hostages.
315
00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:04,364
Somewhere in the world,
316
00:11:04,502 --> 00:11:05,811
there gotta be hostages, right?
317
00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:07,432
So I think they should be free,
318
00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,190
and I was dreaming about them.
319
00:11:09,328 --> 00:11:10,328
Oh.
320
00:11:10,432 --> 00:11:12,293
'Cause I'm concerned for others,
321
00:11:12,432 --> 00:11:13,845
and I wondered, you know,
322
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:15,534
do I do enough for people?
323
00:11:15,672 --> 00:11:17,372
And the world... I
mean, all over the world,
324
00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:19,396
I wonder if I do
enough for them.
325
00:11:19,534 --> 00:11:20,396
Honey, we should go.
326
00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:22,465
I gotta sit for a minute.
327
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:29,912
Principal Hocksacker
is on his way.
328
00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:31,050
Thank you.
329
00:11:31,153 --> 00:11:33,188
Oh, by the way,
may I ask your name?
330
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:34,843
It's Rosie.
331
00:11:34,981 --> 00:11:36,290
Rosie. Mm-hm.
332
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,636
And may I say, Rosie,
333
00:11:37,773 --> 00:11:39,118
that nothing takes the sting
334
00:11:39,256 --> 00:11:41,014
out of coming to
the principal's office
335
00:11:41,152 --> 00:11:42,635
like your beautiful smile
336
00:11:42,773 --> 00:11:45,841
and your very, very
fetching a-line frock...
337
00:11:45,979 --> 00:11:48,668
50 poly, 50 cotton,
tough on stains.
338
00:11:48,806 --> 00:11:49,806
Right?
339
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:50,910
Heh. Yes.
340
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,219
My former profession.
341
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:53,909
I used to feel frocks.
342
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,323
Oh, well, you're quite
the charmer, Philip.
343
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:58,874
I'll bet the kids in this school
344
00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:01,460
must be knocking your
door down for a date.
345
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:02,873
Well, if I went out with them,
346
00:12:03,011 --> 00:12:04,218
it would be a felony.
347
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,770
Oh.
348
00:12:05,908 --> 00:12:07,080
Yeah. Young. You're right.
349
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:08,217
They're too young. Right.
350
00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:09,286
He's on his way.
351
00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:10,597
Bye, Rosie.
352
00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:12,459
Bye, Philip.
353
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,939
So minty!
354
00:12:28,077 --> 00:12:29,215
Oh!
355
00:12:29,354 --> 00:12:31,043
Mr. and Mrs. Buchman,
356
00:12:31,181 --> 00:12:34,283
this behavior is
simply unacceptable.
357
00:12:34,422 --> 00:12:35,904
We're very sorry.
358
00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:38,214
Well, "sorry" doesn't cut
it at Jacob Javits High.
359
00:12:38,353 --> 00:12:39,869
When we find a problem student,
360
00:12:40,007 --> 00:12:42,662
we nip them in the bud.
361
00:12:44,352 --> 00:12:46,282
Now, if you get thrown
out of one more class,
362
00:12:46,421 --> 00:12:48,696
if you fail one more test,
363
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,454
you are out of this school.
364
00:12:50,592 --> 00:12:51,971
You can do that? Yes.
365
00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:54,867
I'm the principal. I
have tremendous power.
366
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,591
Then how do you explain that?
367
00:12:56,729 --> 00:12:58,970
What? Got you.
368
00:13:00,557 --> 00:13:03,004
Mr. and Mrs. Buchman, I'm
going to give you one minute
369
00:13:03,142 --> 00:13:04,452
to give him a
piece of your mind.
370
00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:05,901
Yeah.
371
00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:06,901
Uncle Phil.
372
00:13:07,038 --> 00:13:08,141
What did you do?
373
00:13:08,279 --> 00:13:09,659
What did you do?
374
00:13:09,796 --> 00:13:10,796
I can't do it.
375
00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:11,934
It's not me.
376
00:13:12,038 --> 00:13:13,245
I'm not a kid anymore.
377
00:13:13,382 --> 00:13:15,140
I'm a 2-time high
school dropout.
378
00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:17,589
It's no good. Don't
give up. You can't quit.
379
00:13:17,726 --> 00:13:19,254
Don't you wanna go
out for the track team?
380
00:13:19,278 --> 00:13:20,830
Yes, I do.
381
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,139
Don't you wanna
get that diploma? I do.
382
00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:24,426
Don't you wanna go to the prom?
383
00:13:24,450 --> 00:13:25,312
More than anything.
384
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:26,450
So?
385
00:13:33,518 --> 00:13:34,518
Let's hit the books.
386
00:13:34,622 --> 00:13:36,104
Yes. Okay.
387
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:44,493
What's on your mind, Jeremy?
388
00:13:44,517 --> 00:13:46,010
Well, here's the thing.
389
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:48,205
I recently had a dream
390
00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:50,067
that I was kissing
my sister-in-law,
391
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:53,929
and I was begging her to
show me her new breasts.
392
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,066
You see, she recently
had breast implants,
393
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:01,135
and, uh, let me just say,
394
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:03,376
the procedure was
a huge success.
395
00:14:03,514 --> 00:14:05,583
So what's the problem?
396
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:07,065
The problem is...
397
00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:09,272
Do I tell my wife, you know,
398
00:14:09,411 --> 00:14:12,617
that every time I
see Lisa... Alna...
399
00:14:12,755 --> 00:14:13,893
Who?
400
00:14:14,030 --> 00:14:15,202
Lisaalna.
401
00:14:15,341 --> 00:14:18,823
That's my sister-in-law's
name... Lisaalna.
402
00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:21,340
Do I tell my wife
that whereas before,
403
00:14:21,478 --> 00:14:22,868
I used to think that
she was just infuriating
404
00:14:22,892 --> 00:14:23,994
and annoying,
405
00:14:24,132 --> 00:14:26,753
now I realize she's just
eccentric and stacked.
406
00:14:29,615 --> 00:14:32,097
So that's my question, I guess.
407
00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,890
Do I tell my wife that?
408
00:14:34,028 --> 00:14:36,304
Whoa! What are you, nuts?
409
00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:38,303
You take this to your grave.
410
00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:41,854
And every time you wanna
look at Lisaalna's breasts,
411
00:14:41,992 --> 00:14:44,338
you look at her feet instead.
412
00:14:44,475 --> 00:14:47,302
Look at her feet? Yeah.
Just look at her feet.
413
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,578
Okay, but that...
414
00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:50,957
Heh. Pinhead
wants to tell his wife.
415
00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:52,474
We'll be back in 60 seconds.
416
00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:56,405
How's Uncle Phil's
studying going?
417
00:14:56,543 --> 00:14:57,823
He's got a French test tomorrow,
418
00:14:57,921 --> 00:14:58,961
and he's worried about it.
419
00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:01,163
There's Lisa.
420
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,438
Oh, they're here already?
421
00:15:04,162 --> 00:15:05,162
Who?
422
00:15:05,265 --> 00:15:07,300
What's that? Who's "they"?
423
00:15:07,438 --> 00:15:09,162
Uh, Lisa and her friends.
424
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,655
Isn't she bringing
her friends over?
425
00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:11,748
No.
426
00:15:11,886 --> 00:15:13,299
My mistake.
427
00:15:13,437 --> 00:15:14,575
Hidi-hi. Hi.
428
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:16,126
Oh, boy. Hidi-ho.
429
00:15:16,264 --> 00:15:18,126
Hey, are those new clogs?
430
00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:19,264
They're great.
431
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,056
No. I've had these forever.
432
00:15:21,194 --> 00:15:22,609
Oh, never noticed.
433
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:25,229
Jiminy. Those take
some getting used to.
434
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,480
Yeah, but people sure like 'em.
435
00:15:26,504 --> 00:15:27,704
Just now in the cab ride over,
436
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:28,963
I sat in front with the driver,
437
00:15:28,987 --> 00:15:30,238
he didn't even
charge me for the ride.
438
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,262
Is that right?
439
00:15:31,332 --> 00:15:32,470
Yeah. It was great.
440
00:15:32,608 --> 00:15:35,676
And today at lunch,
waiter gave me a free steak.
441
00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:38,503
Wow. Those guys,
they're just such saps.
442
00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:39,778
Can I have your VCR?
443
00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,123
Whatever you want. Sure.
444
00:15:41,261 --> 00:15:43,020
Uncle Phil,
445
00:15:43,158 --> 00:15:44,616
you got nothing to
fear but fear itself.
446
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,053
That's enough to fear.
447
00:15:47,191 --> 00:15:49,019
It's just a French test. I know.
448
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,757
And you've been
studying very, very hard.
449
00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:52,294
I also took the precaution
450
00:15:52,432 --> 00:15:54,087
of writing all the
answers on my person.
451
00:15:54,225 --> 00:15:56,329
What... What are
you talking about?
452
00:15:56,467 --> 00:16:00,052
My entire body is
covered in French.
453
00:16:00,190 --> 00:16:02,155
That hasn't happened
since I dated Madam Curie.
454
00:16:02,293 --> 00:16:03,328
I want you to know that.
455
00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:04,844
Wait a minute.
456
00:16:04,982 --> 00:16:06,568
You wrote the
answers on your body?
457
00:16:06,706 --> 00:16:08,396
Absolutely. Here.
458
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,120
Regular verbs.
459
00:16:11,534 --> 00:16:15,016
And here you got the irregulars.
460
00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:16,434
Where'd you put the subjunctive?
461
00:16:16,464 --> 00:16:18,050
You don't wanna know.
462
00:16:18,187 --> 00:16:19,912
Are you telling me
463
00:16:20,049 --> 00:16:22,084
Philip Buchman
is going to cheat?
464
00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:23,360
Mais, oui.
465
00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:24,739
Uncle Phil.
466
00:16:24,877 --> 00:16:25,980
Look, this is not right.
467
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,301
I know you wanna pass the test
468
00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:28,739
and you wanna graduate
469
00:16:28,877 --> 00:16:30,677
and you wanna go to
the prom and everything...
470
00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:32,748
What's Paul's trying to say
is we didn't raise a cheater.
471
00:16:32,772 --> 00:16:34,152
Come here. Exactly.
472
00:16:34,289 --> 00:16:36,600
You're erasing all my days...
Lun... di, Jeudi, Mercredi.
473
00:16:36,738 --> 00:16:38,358
There goes the week.
474
00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:40,668
Give me your leg.
475
00:16:40,806 --> 00:16:41,875
Seriously? Uh-huh.
476
00:16:42,013 --> 00:16:43,116
Give her the leg.
477
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,495
Be very careful.
478
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:47,184
You're close to the
dangling participle there.
479
00:16:49,323 --> 00:16:50,401
All right.
480
00:16:50,425 --> 00:16:51,825
There's the bell.
Listen, you relax.
481
00:16:51,874 --> 00:16:53,045
You're gonna do just fine.
482
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:54,543
You're very smart.
You'll do great.
483
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:55,804
French, here I come.
484
00:16:55,942 --> 00:16:57,838
Au revoir. Tout a l'heure.
485
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,631
Sayonara.
486
00:17:01,528 --> 00:17:02,390
French, French.
487
00:17:02,528 --> 00:17:04,630
French, French.
488
00:17:21,697 --> 00:17:23,456
That was German.
489
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:27,145
French, French. French!
490
00:17:27,283 --> 00:17:28,145
French bread.
491
00:17:28,283 --> 00:17:30,318
French fries.
492
00:17:30,456 --> 00:17:32,351
French toast.
493
00:17:32,489 --> 00:17:33,351
French kiss.
494
00:17:33,489 --> 00:17:35,213
Ooh, that's a good one.
495
00:17:35,351 --> 00:17:37,489
Ooh. It's all coming back. Yes.
496
00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:39,109
To play... Jouer.
497
00:17:39,247 --> 00:17:41,213
To eat... Manger.
498
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:42,350
To speak... Parler.
499
00:17:42,454 --> 00:17:44,832
Vraiment.Okay. Ah.
500
00:17:46,143 --> 00:17:48,039
Uncle Phil! A 98 in French...
501
00:17:48,177 --> 00:17:49,901
That's like 135 in American.
502
00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:51,843
That's good, but
this is even better.
503
00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:56,521
I made it. I'm at
the prom. You got it.
504
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,555
If I die tomorrow, I'd be happy.
505
00:17:58,693 --> 00:18:01,865
Oh, no. I got something
to do tomorrow.
506
00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:03,072
If I die Tuesday...
507
00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:04,072
Oh, Philip!
508
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:05,210
Rosie.
509
00:18:05,279 --> 00:18:06,520
There's Rosie. Now listen,
510
00:18:06,658 --> 00:18:08,658
I know you're
chaperoning me tonight,
511
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,076
but don't hang around too close.
512
00:18:10,209 --> 00:18:11,554
No, no. If you get too near,
513
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,243
I'll give you a sign like...
514
00:18:14,381 --> 00:18:15,760
It means spread out. You got it.
515
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:17,115
But if in the middle of the,
516
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:20,690
you hear...,
517
00:18:20,828 --> 00:18:22,268
that means I'm
having a heart attack.
518
00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:23,839
Rush to my assistance.
We'll come over.
519
00:18:23,863 --> 00:18:25,621
You got it.
520
00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:26,759
Hi.
521
00:18:26,794 --> 00:18:28,241
Mr. and Mrs. Buchman.
522
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:29,241
Philip.
523
00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:31,069
Would you care to dance?
524
00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:32,931
Ohh... Yes. Here we go.
525
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,448
And may I say, you look
526
00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:38,413
quite fetching
tonight. Thank you.
527
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,723
That's... That's a killer dress.
528
00:18:40,861 --> 00:18:42,343
Thanks. It's Lisaalna's.
529
00:18:44,963 --> 00:18:46,756
Oh, Philip,
530
00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:48,653
you're very light on your feet.
531
00:18:51,377 --> 00:18:52,377
Philip?
532
00:18:53,755 --> 00:18:54,755
Philip, wake up.
533
00:18:54,859 --> 00:18:56,100
What? What? Who?
534
00:18:56,238 --> 00:18:57,617
Rosie, what are you doing here?
535
00:18:57,755 --> 00:18:59,961
Well, you fell asleep.
536
00:19:00,099 --> 00:19:01,617
Of course. Listen to that music.
537
00:19:01,754 --> 00:19:02,892
It'd put anybody to sleep.
538
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:04,444
Wait right here.
539
00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:06,720
Come on, fellas. This is a prom.
540
00:19:06,858 --> 00:19:08,754
You wait all year for this.
541
00:19:08,891 --> 00:19:10,236
Let's jazz it up.
542
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,420
Let's do it a little jolly.
543
00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:13,581
How about in the key
of G for "gorgeous"?
544
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:15,822
I'd like to dedicate
this song...
545
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:17,477
to Rosie.
546
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,235
Here we go.
547
00:19:24,614 --> 00:19:26,165
♪ Rosie ♪
548
00:19:26,304 --> 00:19:29,165
♪ You are my posy ♪
549
00:19:29,304 --> 00:19:30,993
♪ You are ♪
550
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,164
♪ My heart's bouquet ♪
551
00:19:35,061 --> 00:19:36,681
♪ Come out ♪
552
00:19:36,819 --> 00:19:38,923
♪ Here in the moonlight ♪
553
00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:41,716
♪ There's something
Sweet, love ♪
554
00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:45,611
♪ I wanna say ♪
555
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,680
♪ Your honey boy ♪
556
00:19:47,818 --> 00:19:49,818
♪ Am waiting ♪
557
00:19:50,921 --> 00:19:55,059
♪ Your ruby lips to greet ♪
558
00:19:56,230 --> 00:20:00,161
♪ Don't be so aggravatin' ♪
559
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,127
♪ My blushin' Rosie ♪
560
00:20:03,265 --> 00:20:05,437
♪ My posy sweet ♪
561
00:20:06,851 --> 00:20:09,195
♪ There's a little
Bunch of sweetness ♪
562
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,781
♪ That I long To call my bride ♪
563
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,367
♪ And believe me I'm not happy ♪
564
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,159
♪ Unless my baby's By my side ♪
565
00:20:17,298 --> 00:20:19,918
♪ Her baptismal name Is Rosie ♪
566
00:20:20,056 --> 00:20:22,297
♪ But she puts
The rose to shame ♪
567
00:20:22,435 --> 00:20:24,882
♪ And most every
night You'll hear me ♪
568
00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:26,435
♪ Call her name ♪
569
00:20:26,572 --> 00:20:28,020
♪ Professor ♪
570
00:20:28,158 --> 00:20:30,192
♪ I wanna sing About my baby ♪
571
00:20:33,054 --> 00:20:34,743
♪ Rosie ♪
572
00:20:34,881 --> 00:20:37,812
♪ You are my posy ♪
573
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:39,984
♪ You are ♪
574
00:20:40,122 --> 00:20:42,295
♪ My heart's bouquet ♪
575
00:20:44,018 --> 00:20:45,501
♪ Come out ♪
576
00:20:45,639 --> 00:20:48,155
♪ Here in the moonlight ♪
577
00:20:48,294 --> 00:20:51,086
♪ There's something
Sweet, love ♪
578
00:20:51,224 --> 00:20:53,294
♪ I wanna sing About my baby ♪
579
00:20:54,534 --> 00:20:56,051
♪ Your honey ♪
580
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:58,982
♪ Your boy Am a-waitin' ♪
581
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,568
♪ Your ruby ♪
582
00:21:01,706 --> 00:21:03,706
♪ Your lips to greet ♪
583
00:21:03,844 --> 00:21:08,222
♪ Don't be So aggravatin' ♪
584
00:21:08,361 --> 00:21:10,636
♪ My blushin' Rosie ♪
585
00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:14,601
♪ My posy sweet ♪♪♪
586
00:21:29,703 --> 00:21:31,081
But, Dr. Cathy,
are you telling me
587
00:21:31,219 --> 00:21:33,461
that I have to spend the
rest of my life in this torment?
588
00:21:33,598 --> 00:21:35,758
You'll get over it.
No, I won't get over it.
589
00:21:35,874 --> 00:21:37,115
You'll get over it.
590
00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:39,357
We'll be back in 60 seconds.
591
00:21:39,495 --> 00:21:41,357
Hey.
592
00:21:41,495 --> 00:21:42,804
Hi.
593
00:21:42,942 --> 00:21:44,425
Well, thanks a lot for the VCR.
594
00:21:44,563 --> 00:21:46,401
First, it ate my copy of
Turner and Hooch, right?
595
00:21:46,425 --> 00:21:47,986
So I go to the video
store and I explain to them.
596
00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:49,287
They don't care.
597
00:21:49,425 --> 00:21:51,287
So I rent another copy
of Turner and Hooch,
598
00:21:51,424 --> 00:21:53,227
take it home... this time
your beautiful machine
599
00:21:53,251 --> 00:21:54,838
does not eat it, right?
600
00:21:54,975 --> 00:21:57,389
But then I've eaten too
many peanut M&M's,
601
00:21:57,527 --> 00:21:59,389
and the part where Hooch dies...
602
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,802
I get freaked out
and I throw up.
603
00:22:03,699 --> 00:22:04,974
I've over it.
604
00:22:08,698 --> 00:22:10,594
In front.
39889
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