All language subtitles for Mad About You - S07E05 - The Silent Show-ing

God bless you.

Bless you.

Bless you.

Now you're on your own.

What time did my mother
say she was coming?

Dans 20 min, je crois.

Voil� mama.

Ok. Pablo, No comprehension.

Votre maire vient ici
� un un mois de quart.

Why are you speaking French?

Vous ne me pas le fran�ais?

Voil� mama. Voil� mama.

The reason I married
you and not a French girl.

This very kind of thing.

I want us to learn French.

Why? Because we
should expand our minds.

Become citizens of the world.

It's romantic.

Don't you think so mon, Petipo?

My, my, my little saucepan.

You could do it if you tried.

Mierda!

Mabel is gone.
She's right over here.

But I put her down here.
Now she's over there.

So walk over here. Pick
her up and put her back.

You miss the point, she crawled.

Oh, I don't think so.

She must have crawled.

How else could she
have gotten there?

Maybe like a very small taxi.

She crawled and we missed it.

Oh, man.

Yeah. Okay. You're
proud of yourself. While

you're busy being all
French and everything,

we missed our daughter crawling.

Okay. What the hell is that?

New neighbors upstairs.

Who moved in, Germany?

Stop. It's a percussion group.

Oh, the guys with the
show, with the brooms

and the stick and a
banging and the clapping

and the hitting. I like them.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Because New York
isn't loud enough.

So what you want is a
drum corps living over here.

Who moved in, Germany?

Stop. It's a percussion group.

Oh, I lived under
Louis Prima once.

He's taller than
you might think.

Well. My granddaughter.

Oh, Do I have a present
for my little granddaughter?

Grandma brought you something.

What is it?

It's a rug with pictures
of grandma and Grandpa.

Hey, Ma, how many
catalogs do you get?

Sylvia, where did you get this?

Canada.

I sent our pictures to a
little woman in Manitoba.

And in two months, presto!

What do you think? I
mean, what do you think?

Boy, your head is so plush.

Oh.

Sylvia, it's so beautiful.

I think you and
Bird should keep it.

No, I thought Mabel would like to
see her grandparents every day.

We have photographs.

Plus, we're trying to keep
her from looking down.

Paul, tell your mother we
can't accept a gift like this.

Ma.

Oh, I won't take
no for an answer.

All right, well, then,
thank you very much.

Thank you, Sylvia.

Look at all that cereal.

That's nice.

No, you know what
happened? I was.

I was eating right now, just.

This is about the
diet that happens.

That's exactly what happens.

Look how long your hair is.

If your parents weren't always so busy,
maybe they would take you for a haircut.

We like her hair
like this, Sylvia.

We think it makes her
look more like a girl.

No, Mom. Maybe it's time
you and Mabel got going, huh?

Okay.

Au revoir, Mabel.

Oh, French, my other tongue.

Say. Oh, well, Mama at
the end told Papa to tell her.

Yeah, that's right, Mabel.

That's Castella,
lingerie, A croissant.

Not so fun when you don't
know what a person is saying.

Au revoir, Mabel.

I can't believe you
let her leave that rug.

I do what you said you were telling
her how lovely and beautiful it is.

You know, that means
I hate and detest it.

What? Nearly I would. But the way
you said it, it sounds like you really.

You really like that?

You like that rug, Don't.

You know I don't like it.

I'm frightened, too. This rug looks like if
I spill food on it, it's going to reach out

and put it back on my plate.

Okay. I think I just soiled
my pants right there.

It bothers me that we
continually give in to her.

Why do we do that?

We don't give in. We just, you know,
we we choose our fights, very careful.

And it just so happens in the last
4300, fights were not worth fighting.

Isn't it awful?

Isn't what awful?

I've spoken to Mr. Whittaker, and he says
before he can do anything, he has to have

complaints from
everyone on this floor.

Now, the others have called.

Will you?

Yes. Really?

Yes. I don't believe you.

Scuse me.

I don't believe you.

You have a long history of treachery,
deceit and General Cornelius.

Why should I believe you?

I will call and complain.

You have my word.

Happy?

I'm jubilant.

Don't you like Stop?

I do. Plus, I don't want to be one of those old
killjoy codgers and tells kids to quiet down.

So you're not going to complain?

It's a little noisy. So what?

You're right. Nothing wrong
with a little noise. Exactly.

You got to have noise.

Noise makes the world go around.

Everything makes.

Noise. You got to accept
noise as a part of life.

That's right. Okay, you
know what? This has to stop.

Sweetie? Sweetie?

Sorry.

Where is Ira, anyway?

Ira is coming?

Yeah.

You didn't tell me that.

Of course. No, I said. I
said we're having lunch.

Yeah, we. You and.

Me. Honey, we.

We doesn't mean you and me.

Us. Us. As you and me.

We as you and me
and someone else.

And it's usually Ira.

Really?

See? Here we is.

Good. Listen, Look at this.

Check it out. The world's
smallest cell phone.

Oh, I saw the ad for these.

This is so great. Look at this.

It stores up to,
like, 3000 numbers.

Plus you can hide it
in your mouth like this.

I have one. And
that one is for you.

This is for me? Yes.

Really? Yeah. Oh, I love you.

As only one man
can love another.

This is so. Oh, it's alive.

It's not alive. It's vibrating.

Oh, that's cool.
Listen, to feel it.

Feel vibrating.

It is, in fact, vibrating.

You don't like the vibrating?

I like it. Okay. You
don't like this phone.

�Ey,Aw! for the vibrating phone.

Well, what I'm thinking is I would
like to start selling these in the store.

Well, it's not really a
sporting goods item.

No, not true. Look, you're
playing right field, right?

They got to bring a pitcher in.

You got to wait,
like, 10 minutes.

You don't know what
to do with yourself.

You check your voicemail.

Hello. How are you?

I'm good. I am
enjoying this phone.

Well, who wouldn't?
Oh, I'm saying it's small.

It's really small. So,
what are you about to say?

I have never been lonelier.

I was going to say that business
has not been so great lately.

So I want to find a way to
bring some more money in.

Sure. Okay. Yeah,
I'm hanging up now.

Okay, So sell the phones.

What's the problem?

Well, the problem is your
father, he's such a purist.

Hi. Yeah, you're the bartender.

All right, that's it. I'll
meet you at Sheila's.

What was it? I just want to
say these fries are dynamite.

And, by the way, look
bigger than my phone.

I don't know what
could be keeping him.

Therapy.

Sheila Hi, Jean.

Paul Buchman. Hi, Paul.

Is Jamie there?
Yes, Jamie's here.

Okay. Can you just tell her that I
will see her on about right now?

He sings. They're lifesavers.

He sings.

Where have you been?

I was waiting for you.

Where?

In the waiting room.

I said I'll meet
you at Sheila's.

In the waiting room. Traditionally
the gateway to Sheila's.

All right. We always meet.

Okay, so now I'm just saying.

Fine. Okay.

So I was just telling
Sheila how you flew off

the handle because I
didn't like the rug your

parents gave us and how you blew up at me
just because I didn't know that we meant us

and Ira and Sheila, I have to say, on
just about all counts, agrees with me.

Okay. So coming late to therapy,
Apparently not my favorite thing.

What did you say? No,
that's not what she said.

Not true. No, I didn't. I didn't blow
up at you because you hated the rug.

I agreed with you. I agreed with
you that the rug was to be hated.

It's a it's a hate
inspiring rug.

And I just.

I was just confused because you said you
liked it, and I didn't think you would like

it, so that just threw
me. And I wasn't.

I didn't blow up
at you about Ira.

I was. I simply tried
to make it clear that

I had, in fact, previously
invited Ira, and I

simply used the English
language, as you and

I have come to define
it, which is to say

that us means you and me and we means
you and me and another, you know, including

although not necessarily limited
to, but the most frequently being Ira.

Oh, yes.

Stop talking.

Thank you, Sheila,
Because when I say it.

Jamie, stop
talking, both of you.

Stop talking.

All right, All right.

I think I see a problem
developing here.

And before it becomes a serious problem,
I think we should nip it in the bud.

Please. Let's nip. For
God's sake, nip, nip.

I think that the words you're using are
actually getting in your way, keeping you

from communicating clearly.

How.

You see this happening.
Established couples from time to time.

They stop listening
to each other.

This can be a pernicious weed that left
unchecked could choke the garden of your

love.

What the heck do
we do about that?

Where do we get a
pernicious weed whacker?

I'd like to try a little
exercise, if we may.

I love exercise.

What kind of exercise?

Stop talking.

Forever.

For the rest of the day.

Instead, find clear non-verbal
ways to communicate with each other.

No whistling. No.

No whistling, no writing,
no finger snapping.

Wow. This won't be easy, but
believe me, someday you'll thank me.

What do you say? Can you do it?

Well, I could do it, but
his head would explode.

What happens if I
last longer than him?

Does he have to
be my slave? Hey.

That's a good question.
What is the winner get?

This is not a competition.

Oh, man. You are
tending your love garden.

Damn it. All right. Is
there anything you'd

like to say to one
another before you start?

Yes. Have you seen my blue suit?

Excuse me.

I have that meeting tomorrow.

I wanted to wear my blue suit.

That's the last thing
you'd like to say to me.

Have I seen your suit?

Well, I figure if I don't get
it now, I have no chance.

Oh, my God. Sorry.

I love you.

I love you, too.

You haven't seen the suit.

So the dry cleaners should
be ready in the morning.

Okay, Good. Thanks.

Good.

Is that it?

Yeah.

All right, then. Ready?

Begin any time.

Oh, there we go.
Right there. All right.

Shh. All right.

Ready. Begin.

I'll see you next week.

We have a problem next week.

Sorry.

Talk about. Ready?

Begin.

Okay. Pants, pants, pants.

Pants. Forgot.

Oh. Oh. No talking.

So no answering a phone.

Och, now I get it.

I get it now.

Ready? Begin.

You guys can.

Go. We still have 40
minutes left in our session.

Fine. Ready.

Begin.

What gives? I get you
this fabulous telephone.

I call you and you
don't call me back.

You hang up on me, by the way.

Nice sweater. What's
Olivia Newton-John wearing?

Hey, what's going on?
Why aren't you guys talking?

Why aren't you talking to me?

Oh, my God.

You know, don't you?

I can't believe it.

I can't. I am so sorry.

I am so ashamed of myself.

I took it. Okay?

Last week I broke
in and I took it.

Trust me, you guys, I
will get it back to you.

I will. I can't believe I
bet on the stupid jets.

Hi. Guess who I just
saw in your elevator.

Come on. Guess. �Will you guess?

It would mean a lot
to me if you'd guess.

Please. I play your games.

I have a partner.

All right, we gorgeous.

We got them at the
zoo, at the pony ride.

And after the zoo, we had some
time, and so we got a little haircut.

Isn't she adorable?

Well.

Even Miss Kitty.
Even in Marshall.

Don't even ask.

Me. I don't want you selling
electronics in the store.

Would you tell him what a
good idea this phone thing is?

You help me out here.

Uncle Bird, I cannot take Barnes into
the 21st century selling sweat socks.

Look, let me tell
you something, pal.

Some good times come bad times.

People's feet are
always going to perspire.

Snake. Liar.

Enemy of the tenants.

You gave your word.

You promised you would
speak to Mr. Wicker.

What have you got to
say for yourself, huh?

No snappy retort to
put me in my place.

Well, seeing as you
love your new neighbors

so very much, I thought
I'd send them around

with a cup of noise.

This way, please.

You. Yeah.

Holy smokes.

You crowled.

Sweetie. You crawled.
Out a boy, little girl.

I hear off her face, you
can see where she's going.

Okay, by the way.

From before, with my
thumb in the drawer.

Hey, what did you steal from us?

Nothing. We'll have
it back by Tuesday.

Woody Allen, who you
saw before in the elevator.

Woody Allen.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Olympia Dukakis.

Thanks for playing.

So I guess we can go back to
our regular form of communication.

Absolument, parce que c'est facile
pour nous de jouer de ballon ensemble.

Exactly.