All language subtitles for 1600.Penn.S01E13.Marry.Me.Baby.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.x264-AJP69_track3_[eng]

And we're in his office
at the Nevada State House

preparing for a budget meeting.

Then I just turned to her

and I said,
"Hey, I love you,

you love me.
Let's do this."

Then an hour later,
we were married.

And here we are
on your fifth anniversary.

Did you guys even have
a honeymoon?

Oh, yeah. We went down the
block to Waffle Circus.

Waffles?! What a story!

He loves waffles. And he loves
me... in that order.

I mean, weddings are
stupid anyway, right?
What's the point?

(chuckles)

Well, I guess
I would know.

(all laugh)

You're very good
at it.

You've done it
several times.

Uh, sir, I think
we may need to walk back
your little wedding gaffe.

It wasn't a gaffe.

Larry King wrote "gaffe"
on a note card

and waved it
at his producer.

America loves
weddings, sir.

Have you seen
reality TV?
Calm down.

Calm down.
America knows I'm a jokester.

It'll blow over.

(sighs)

CHUCK TODD:
Day 31 of Weddingate!

The President's approval rating
continues to slide

following his controversial
anti-wedding stance.

It did not blow over.

Sir, you've offended women...

and men trying to impress women,
which is all men,

except gay men,
whom you've also offended.

Of course the President
doesn't believe in weddings!

Just look at his pregnant
unmarried daughter.

Oh, God.

And now I'm told that
the Carson City courthouse

has absolutely no record
of his own very own "ceremony"

five years ago.

Maybe he's not married at all.

Where's the marriage
certificate?

Marshall, what's
he talking about?

I don't know.

Okay, do you guys have a copy
of your certificate?

That way, we can show this
to the press and kill this?

Of course we do.
Obviously.

You have it.
You have it.

You have it.
You have it!

* Oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa.

Guys, we're trying to track down
our marriage certificate.

So let's all think back

to that day
and where it might be.

Becca, obviously,
you wouldn't know.
Oh, my God!

I was stuck in traffic!
I wasn't boycotting!

Who said boycotting?
Is it the person
wracked with guilt?

I remember the county clerk
was so pretty.

Marriage certificates
are a painful reminder

that women were once bought
and sold like livestock.

Xander, it doesn't say
that I own Emily.

Whatever helps you sleep
at night.

Papa, I remember every detail
from that magical day.

Emily aglow in that veil
she borrowed

from state Senator
April Gustavson,

who herself was married
two weeks later

to lobbyist Peter Kilmeade.
That's right.

That didn't work out. He was
a drinker. Dad, you kissed

the bride under
the statehouse dome,

at which point Emily handed me
some important paperwork

that I was
supposed to mail.

Then we all went
to the Waffle Circus

where they were out
of blackberry syrup,

but I was surprisingly pleased

with their other syrup options,
so it was fine.

Oh. Uh-oh.

Did you mail that
important paperwork?

I don't know.
The whole day is a blur.

Skip, that was
our marriage license.

If you didn't mail it...

We actually might
not be married.

Trying to remember
if I let everyone down.

Did you know that exercise helps
improve memory performance?

You gave it to Skip?

WOMAN (over stereo):
Visualize floating on a sea
of indigo bubbles

as you allow yourself to trust
your baby and your body.

Create bubbles
of amniotic...

This hypnosis stuff
isn't a good idea, babe.

After the state fair,
I was a chicken for a week.

D.B., this is just a way
of getting

into a deeply relaxed state to
increase your endorphin level.

And then boom. Somebody claps,
you wake up, everyone's laughing

and it's like, why is my mouth
full of birdseed?

Okay, yeah, let's take a break.

Hey, did you see that angry
Colonel Sanders guy on TV

that said
we should get married?

(laughs)
Yeah, that's just what I need:

another impulsive decision

that'll affect
the rest of my life.

(chuckles)
Yeah, for sure.

I mean,
that's what I said, too. Yep.

REPORTER:
And the outrage has made it
as far as Capitol Hill

where senators on both sides
of the aisle...

Okay, we're gonna throw
a wedding!

Wow, you're sweaty.

All right, so we all know
Dad's in hot water

because he said
that weddings are like a cancer

on the body politic.

That's not what I said.

Saw it on cable news.
Just the messenger.

So we need to show everybody
that Dad loves weddings!

You see where I'm going
with this?

You see where I'm going, huh?

We take this Skip crisis and
turn it into a Skip-tertunity!

Skiptunity? A Skip crisis?
No, that's where we started.

I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but Skip might actually
be on to something.

A big White House
wedding?

The press would eat it up.

Horse-drawn carriages,
Peruvian cake pull,

a few tigers, used tastefully.

Skip, I'm not gonna turn
our marriage

into a dog-and-pony show.

We already settled
on tigers, Dad.

Emily, back me up.

I... wouldn't exactly hate
a big wedding.

Yes! Listen to your
longtime girlfriend!

But we already had
a awesome wedding.

We went to Waffle Circus!

Exactly.
We went to Waffle Circus.

Hey, Dad, look at me.
It was an awful day,

okay?
Swing and a miss.

Maybe you're right,
but I still don't see why

we have to put on a big show.

My question is:
has the White House

been transmogrified
into a den of iniquity?

Perhaps my committee
should investigate.

Okay, fine, we'll get married.
Whatever.

The words every little girl
longs to hear.

Ma'am, we'd like to go over
a few details for the wedding

if you're ready.

I've been ready
for 40 years.

Me, too.

Let's begin with food.

Would you like to serve
food at the wedding?

Well, of course.

Well, that's going
to be problematic.

Serving chicken will upset
the beef lobby.

Serving beef will upset
the pork lobby.

Serving pork will
upset the Jews,

and then you've
lost Florida.

Guys, this is crazy.

It doesn't matter
what animal we eat

so long as it's slain
in honorable combat.

Moving on.

We've selected a marvelous
gluten-free cake.

Can we have gluten

on the side for those of us
who want to dip?

You know, maybe we
should talk about music.

You mean Yo-Yo Ma?

You mean Japanese rockabilly

legend Guitar Wolf?

There's gotta be something
in between those two.

Ma'am, if I may address
the elephant in the room.

Why is he here?

The wedding was
actually his idea.

My fault and my idea.

So I guess the real question is,
why are you here?

Aside from making awesome
suggestions like elephants.

This wedding is a response
to a scandal,

and I am here to
prevent another one.

Hmm. Well, the only thing
you are preventing, sir,

is Emily and I from having
the wedding of our dreams.

Skip, Winslow does has a point.

I mean, it's important
that we consider...

Consider what?
The "consequences"?

Listen, everybody.

The people want

what they think
is the best ceremony.

Because out there,
it's their time!

But in here, it's our time.

It's our time in here.

And that's all over

the second we ride up
in Troy's bucket.

Is-Is that Goonies?

It's always Goonies!

Always Goonies.

Winslow shot down
all of my amazing ideas,

even though everybody else
in the room loved them.

And Emily agreed with him!

It's like she has
Stockholm Syndrome--

that thing where you go
to Stockholm

and you're, like,
"I'll just stay here."

Skip, I've got
a lot of work to do.

Fine. I'm sorry. I'll go.
It's just, I feel

like everybody's hijacking
Emily's wedding, and I wish

there was something
I could do.

Look, Skip...

I guess I could just book
the tigers

and get the tiger-sized
cummerbunds.

Skip, listen to me.

For once in your life,
don't go too far.

Just go far enough.

Whoa.
That was so wise and lyrical.

I'm just saying
do one small thing.

Make a single memorable moment.

Like in Empire Strikes Back
when Han kisses Leia,

and it's, like, finally someone
in this film gets some action.

A single memorable moment.

Do you know where I can get
a man-sized birdcage?

This is your special time.
Quiet your brain pan.

As you give yourself...

Becca!
Wow!
That's not helpful.

Sorry, but I heard
your dad and his wife

are getting married again,

and I had an idea:

double wedding! What?!

Oh, boy...

Yeah, you can get
one of those

hilarious baby mama
wedding gowns that's, like,

"Uh-oh, we know what happened
here," and I'll borrow

Uncle Randy's tuxedo
that he used to rob that casino.

D.B., no, we are not getting
married. We're not there yet.

Well, then where are we?
Pre-engaged?

Friends without benefits?
Are we even a couple?

We are just two people
having a baby!

Especially me!
And pretty soon, I'm gonna have

to push a watermelon out
of my lady parts,

and I have
to literally trick my mind

into believing that it's gonna
be slightly less painful, okay?

So if you don't feel like
helping me accomplish that goal,

then you can just go.

Fine!
Fine!

Relax it up!

Yes, I will!

RECORDING:
Breathe in, breathe out.

Hey, Marshall!

Hey, D.B.,
I'm a little busy.

I get it. Quick question:
why won't Becca marry me?

Oh, uh, do we talk
like this?

This whole baby thing
brought Becca and me together,

which was a surprise.

But I thought it was
a good surprise,

like when you find
20 bucks in your coat.

But for Becca,
it's a bad surprise,

like when you reach in your
coat, (gasps) mousetrap.

Look, D.B., maybe you're
just not not the kind
of guy she had in mind.

What do you mean,
"had in mind"?
Well, maybe
like a college guy.

A college guy like you?

No! Just maybe somebody

with a different career
trajectory?

A different career
trajebory like you?
No.

Is it you?
I am not talking about myself!

Look, D.B., do the math.
I'll do the math.

She met you in a bar,
thought you were in the navy,

got pregnant and had to put
her entire life on hold.

Now, surely you can understand
why she wants

to tap the brakes a little.

Huh. I thought
you were gonna say,

"She'll come around, man"
and give me one of these.

This is good, too.

Well, maybe I'll be carrying

a bouquet of sawgrass
and poison oak,

but, man, I love this dress.

Stunning. It's a shame

you'll never wear it
outside of this room.

What?

Unfortunately,
14% of Americans feel

that this dress
is too "hotsy-totsy."

You focus-grouped my dress?

Within an inch
of its life, ma'am.

Well, what if I said
to hell with the focus groups

and wore it anyway?

We live in a world
of the 24-hour news cycle.

How do they fill it?

Nonsense, tales of unlikely
animal friendships,

and manufactured
controversy over, say,

a president's offhand remark
about weddings.

It's a world
where the wrong word or food

or even dress
can sink a presidency.

But you do look nice.

By all means, let's chance it.

My grandmother gave me
diamond earrings

that I wore
at the first wedding.

Are those okay to wear?

We'll need to make sure

they're not conflict diamonds.

Where the hell
are those earrings?!

Oh, my God!

Hey.

The thing Skip
was supposed to mail!

The marriage license!

I've had it
this whole time!

Now I remember, I took it back
from him at Waffle Circus

after I realized he did this
to the back.

(chuckles)
The good
news is,

now we don't have to do
this wedding,

which is fine,

because you're right.

It's stupid.

Is that what you're wearing?

No.

It polled terribly.

Oh, screw the polls.

You look amazing.

Emily Nash,

would you do
me the honor

of marrying me again

for what appears to be
no reason?

Still not quite

what every little girl
longs to hear...

...but getting
warmer.

BECCA (whispering):
Oh, D.B., pick up.

Just pick up, D.B.

(sighs) I think
I hurt his feelings.

Now he's not answering
his phone.

I might have really screwed up.

Oh, I'm sure
you didn't screw up.

Why are you emphasizing "you"
like that?

Wedding!
That's your cue.

All right,
where's Skip?

Oh, there.

(sighs)

It's okay to be happy,

but why are you smiling
like a lunatic?

Oh, no reason.
No reason at all.

At this time, I'll ask you
to take each other's hands.

Dale, do you take Emily

to have and to hold,
from this day forward...

SKIP:
Hey, guys! Hey.

Oh, no.
Oh, no.

Oh, yes.
SKIP:
I, too, had my doubts,

but it's much better
than I think we all anticipated.

So, I was
gonna do

a song by Cyndi Lauper,

who of course is famous for her
work on the Goonies soundtrack,

but after some
good advice,

I decided

to sing one of her
lesser-known gems.

(whispering):
I'm scared.

That's correct.

* Lying in my bed

* I hear the

* Clock tick

* And think of you

* Caught up in circles

* Confusion is nothing new

* Flashback

* Warm nights

* Almost left behind

* The second hand unwinds

* If you're lost,
you can look *

* And you will find me

* Time after time

* If you fall,
I will catch you *

* I'll be waiting

What...

* Time after time...
...what's
wrong?

That song...
It's my birthing song.

* ...I will catch you,
I will be waiting *

Oh, no! (gasps)
* Time after time...

(Becca panting)
Becca, what are you doing?

Stacey hasn't
even finished

her harp solo.
My water broke!

Oh. Oh!
Stacey, stand down.

BECCA: Oh!
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I don't want to

ruin your wedding; this is...

(howls) Oh...

I'm not due
for another three weeks.

Why did you play that song?

Well, I was trying to create
a single memorable moment,

until you ruined it,
but that's okay.

It doesn't matter.
We're going to the hospital.

I don't want to
go without D.B.

Please, can you
go get him?

He's at work, but he won't
answer his phone, and I think...

I'm on it.
And I'm on it
with Dad, Becs.

I'm on it
with Dad.
You know what?

I'm coming
along, too.

Just in case there's

any unexpected press issues
in the car.

Really good thinking, Marshall.

I'll take you
to the hospital.

But you're not married yet.

All right, uh...

let's go. Judge Garcia...

That's it.

Um, do you...
I do.

Do you?
I do.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

GARCIA (laughing):
You may kiss the bride.

DALE:
Thank you!

Let's move out.

Yeah, Dad.
Let's move out.

Stacey...
I'm so sorry about your solo.

It's okay. This was amazing.

DALE: Skip. Come on.
Skip. Skip!

I like you.

I know.

Skip, come on.

Becca's having
a baby.

We're on a mission.

It's like we're
the two musketeers--

and Marshall's
helping--

but it's really just

a father-son thing,
right, Dad?

Oh... Oh, we're just
staring out the window

like pensive supermen.

This might be slightly my fault.

Becca and I...

had a relationship.

(gasps)
Secrets!

For a year.
(gasps)
Long-term secrets!

And that might be
why D.B. ran off.

I thought it was over.

MARSHALL: It is
over, but then

D.B. was grilling me about it,

and I said some things
that may have...

Wait. You knew?

(gasps) You knew?
Of course I knew.

Of course he knew, Marshall.
He's the damn President.

Well, you didn't know.
And that hurts.

Because I think of us
as the two musketeers.

But we can talk
about this later.

I have enough
on my plate right now.

D.B.? He quit a few minutes ago.

(gasps)
Stop gasping.

How are we gonna find him?

D.B. and I have a deep
spiritual connection.

I know how to find him.

I can feel him...

his beating heart.

Skip, is he still in the mall?

Did I really just buy into that?

Too much time
with this damn family.

What do we covet?

We covet what we see every day.

Over here is his gym,

which is across
from the Jamba Juice

where he gets
his protein-rich smoothies

to feed that incredible machine,

which is right across from...

At ease. At ease.

How'd you find me?

Skip knew how to find you.

But wait...
did you just join the Navy?

I'm gonna be the man
Becca thought I was.

Plus, I already had the haircut.

That's a hell of a step, son.

I'm proud of you.
Could I get
a pamphlet?

But I can't say
that I'm crazy

about you running out
on my daughter.

I'm not running out on her.

Okay? She won't marry me,

and Marshall helped me realize

I'm a loser with no future.

That's how you quote me?

You should work for the Times.

Look... you asked me why
Becca didn't want to marry you,

and I gave you
an honest answer

based on logic, and...

well, really just logic.

All right? But
it doesn't matter.

She loves you.

How do you know that?

I saw her at the wedding.

And she was a mess
because you weren't there.

And she really
wants you

at that hospital
with her right now.

Wait. Hospital?

Yeah. She's in labor.

Didn't we lead with that?

(Becca moaning)

You know what?
I'm gonna lean against that,

and you lean against me.

Okay.

(breathing hard)

(moans)

I really am sorry.

Hey.

It's not... it's okay.
It's just a party.
No.

I'm sorry for how hard I've
been on you over the years.

I think
it was just

difficult for me
to accept you

without feeling
like I was

being disloyal
to my mom.

Hey, I understood that.

(moans)

Okay, now my
butt hurts.
Okay.

Oh, damn, my leg's asleep.
(moaning)

Here. Here, here.

You know, Emily...
Yeah?

...the truth is,
is that... I really

admire you.

You're-you're this

amazing lawyer
and political wizard,

and, you know,
that's the kind of career

I thought I was gonna have
one day.

But now it's like,
who knows?

Plus, I bet I somehow end up
supporting D.B.

(snorts)

You know, for a while,

I thought I was gonna have kids.

You know? And then it just...

didn't happen.

And I thought,
"Well, I guess I'm not."

And then I met your dad,

and all of
a sudden,

I have
four kids.

And one of them
hates me.

And now,

here I am,

and I have this amazing family.

And I couldn't be happier.

Life surprises you.

Emily, I, um...

Well... (sighs)

I love you.

I know.

Oh...

Oh, God.

Oh, I don't love this.

It's residual from when
they cleared the streets

for the First Lady
an hour ago, sir.

How often are we causing
this kind of backup?

People must hate us.

I get asked about it
in briefings.

How far are we?

About ten blocks, sir.

Nothing we can do.

Guys, where are we going?

A food run?

We can eat when we get

to the hospital!

Oh, my gosh, the President!

Hi! (grunts)
Sorry! Get that guy

a fruit basket or something.
Yes, sir.

If it weren't for the adrenaline

coursing through
my veins right now,

I don't believe
I'd be keeping up.

I could lift a golf cart,
I'm so pumped by this adventure.

Becca.

Oh, D.B., oh, D.B.
Becca...

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
Oh, no, no, no.

D.B.:
I'm-I'm sorry.

We're good, babe.

I'm so glad you came back.

Of course. You love me.

I know.

D.B.:
Aw, babe,

I'm sorry I didn't bring
the relaxation tape.

It's okay.

It's okay.
No, wait.

It's cool.
I know it.

Visualize floating on a sea
of indigo bubbles,

as you allow yourself...

(Skip humming)

...to trust your baby

and your body.

Release all doubts

as you give yourself permission

to relax.

(exhales)

EMILY:
You know, families aren't made
in big, formal ceremonies.

They're forged day by day
in smaller moments of joy

and heartache,

through arguments

and kindnesses.

It's what makes you a family,

truly knowing
one another,

flaws and all.
(laughs)

(baby crying)
DALE:
Through life's joys...

It's a boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

D.B.:
Feeling super-conflicted,
here, guys.

EMILY:
...and life's surprises.

Well...

it's a good thing you guys
are both about the same size.