All language subtitles for 1600.Penn.S01E08.Live.from.the.Lincoln.Bedroom.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.x264-AJP69_track3_[eng]

MARSHALL:
And later today the president

will stop by the "Let's
Multiply" award ceremony

to hand out trophies
to the nation's

brightest young female
mathematicians and scientists.

And that's all I've got for you.

I'd say that was a pretty
painless briefing.

Marshall.
Yeah.

Does the White House
have any comment

on Skip Gilchrist's podcast?

I'm sorry, I thought you said
Skip had a podcast.

Oh, that is
what I said.

Skip has a podcast.

Oh.

Oh, Skip's-Skip's podcast.

I forgot about it for a second
because it's so not a big deal.

I mean, of course,
we know about it.

Otherwise, it might be like a
political ticking time bomb.

So, if you'll
excuse me.

(reporters murmuring)

SKIP:
Welcome back, Skipaholics,
to the official podcast

of the Gilchrist White House.

Now, what I'm about to say,

may sound controversial.

Ah, (bleep).

It's an honor to
have you in my classroom.

Well, it is a parent-teacher
conference,

and I am a parent.

I know, but the first lady,
right in front of me.

I'm sorry, I promised myself
that I would be professional,

but O.M.G.,
I love you, so much.

Like a sister, or brother,
not sexual.

How is Marigold doing?

I'm actually very concerned
about her.

I'm here.
I'm here, sorry.

What are
you doing here?

O.M.G.,
this is amazing.

The first lady and America's
favorite pregnant teen.

Oh, I'm actually 22,
and sorry I'm late.

But somebody forgot to tell me
this conference was happening.

'Cause somebody
isn't a parent

and it's not a
sister-teacher conference.

That's what it was before
I went off to college.

Then I took over.

And suddenly there's
a crisis that requires

and emergency meeting
with Marigold's teacher.

(both feign laughing)

I bet you banter
like this all the time.

The rat-a-tat-tats,
the bon mots. Ooh!

Why don't we
talk about Marigold?

Yes, of course.

I am very concerned.

What is it?

Is she underperforming?

Quite the opposite.

Marigold is so bright

and she recently qualified to
take honors algebra in the fall.

And you're
concerned because...

She's choosing to take regular
algebra instead.

(gasps)

I know this must be
especially troubling

to the co-founders of
"Let's Multiply."

Big fan!
Big Fan!

Well, I hear you
and I am on this.

I also hear you
and I am also on this.

To a slightly greater
degree that a parent would be.

A step-parent.
Still hearing "parent."

Do you mind? Scooch in.

What? Oh, oh, no,
could we not...

Smile.

And... tweet.

(knocking on door)

Hey.

Becca's at a doctor appointment,

so I wanted to talk to you about
the parent-teacher conference.

Why does it matter
where Becca is?

It doesn't.

Um, Mr. Norgel
said you didn't want

to take honors algebra,
for some reason.

That's what this is about.

Marigold, it is a parent's job
to give her child

ground to stand on
and wings to fly.

Honors algebra is those wings.

Are those wings? Is?

What are you saying?

What am I saying?

You need to take honors algebra.

You may think
you can't handle it,

but you definitely can.
You are so smart.

Okay.

Really?
Wow.

I had more, but wings worked.

It's just that I wasn't going to
take honors algebra

because it's at the same time as
photography.

Photography?

Yeah, it just seems so cool and
I kind of wanted to try it.

Plus, I'm already taking a bunch
of other honors classes.

Marigold, that excuse...

is totally reasonable.

It's nice to see you explore new
interests.

If you really want to take
photography,

you should take it.

Photography shall be your wings.

Thanks, Emily.

I'm really not getting
the wings thing though.

Oh, it's a total dud.

Just, let's finish that hug.

Why would God
make forests so big

if he wasn't trying to hide
something?

The yeti must exist.

The yeti must exist.

By the way,
I'd like to say konichiwa

to all of my friends in Japan
just waking up right now.

It's tomorrow there.

Skip, we've got to talk.

Oh, good news, everybody:

we've got a special guest who's
not just me

changing my voice a little bit.

It's America's favorite press
secretary, Marshall Malloy.

No, no, no, no, Skip, I came
here to shut down this podcast.

What? Why?

Because we can't just have your
unfiltered ramblings

representing the views of your
father's administration.

All right, just sit down here

and let's discuss this
while I record it.

Skip, I am not
coming on your podcast.

Come on, Marshall.

Please, just do it.

Just do it, man.

I'll make it the last one.

I could really use you
to goose my ratings.

This could really
put me over the top

in the urban market.

That means black.

Please, Marshall.

Okay, fine.

I feel answer
a couple of questions

so long as this is your
last episode.

(quietly):
Talk into this mic.

And we're back.

My guest is Marshall Malloy.

(music playing)

SKIP (recording):
* Live

* From the Lincoln bedroom.

(mouthing along to recording)
It's Skip Gilchrist.

Boom.

(stomping footsteps approaching)

Oh, boy.

Photography?

What, was
finger painting full?

Marigold and I
had a really good talk.

And we arrived at the right
decision for her.

You got played, Emily.

I most certainly did not.

She explained her newfound
passion for photography

and her desire to balance it

against a
challenging course load.

You got played.

We shouldn't force her.

Maybe she doesn't like math.

Nobody likes math.

I don't even like math
and I love it.

Well, you sound insane.

Emily, of course Marigold

is going to
choose the easier thing.

That's what kids do.

And you know all those smart
kids she used to hang out with?

Well, they are gone; poof.

But that's okay because the kids
in regular algebra

will teach her how to smoke.

She wants to take photography.

It's okay to let
her follow her bliss.

Bliss...
that's a good stripper name.

Maybe she could use that.

(bottles rattling)

Hey, guys.

Just having a
little snack attack.

Dad, you agree that
Marigold has to aim high, right?

Yeah, sure.

But you also agree
that it's important for her

to explore
her interests.

How did I get myself surrounded?
I'm a marine.

Look, I don't want to get in the
middle of this.

You both
love Marigold.

I love Marigold...

Is that Marigold over there?

No, not biting?

Dad, what's
it going to be?

Pick a side.
Why?

You're both making such
incredible points.

And whoever loses,

Marigold wins.

I am Dale Gilchrist,
and I approve this message.

(sighs) You know
what, Emily,

if photography
is Marigold's passion,

then that's what
she should pursue.

I'm fine with it.

I'm so not fine with it.

So, then I
opened the briefcase,

and it's filled
with croissants,

but the joke is on me because
the French ambassador

ate my talking points
for breakfast.

(laughing)

Delightful.

If you're just joining us,
my guest is Marshall Malloy;

our topic: life.

Skip,
this is actually really fun.

Man, I-I've been working for
your father for 12 years,

and this is the first time

anybody has ask me a question
about me.

Tell us about
those early years.

A young person of color,

struggling
on the gritty streets of...

Lake Tahoe.
Uh-huh.

Right out of high school I
started interning for your dad

and he has kept me busy ever
since.

Fascinating.
Take us there.

Well, your dad was a
congressman,

and one of my first tasks was
writing letters on his behalf.

You've opened the door,
now pull back the curtain.

Well, congressman are
extremely busy.

So, they'll often have staffers
write their correspondence

and then sign their letters with
an auto-pen.

Robot pens.
Are they sentient?

Can they be defeated?

As you know,
swords are useless against them.

Moving on.

Marshall, I'd love to hear your
impressions

of a young Skip Gilchrist.

Oh, if I recall,
the summer I started interning

you were 13 years old

and you were having a hard time
at summer camp.

Your dad said that

you were just miserable.

Oh, my gosh,
I'll never forget that summer.

The only thing rougher than the
toilet paper

was the response to my
one-man performance of Oliver!

I did not
consider myself at home.

But then my dad wrote me the
most amazing letter.

It really made me feel...
a ton better.

Skip, is something wrong?

Oh, right.

Marshall...

letter...

Dad.

Hold the phone.
Skip...

Marshall,
hold the damn phone.

Did you write personal letters
for my dad?

Hey, Skip, you want
to talk about Area 51?

As a matter of fact,
let's just go there.

We'll take the transporter,

which, as you suspected,
totally exists.

Wait, wait, what's that?

Julie Chen and Lucy Liu
both want to go?

I'll never forget
the day my dad

sent me this letter at camp.

It was like he reached
inside my rib cage

and gave me a pat on the heart.

And at the end of it he wrote,
"Skip, I'm proud of you."

And you kept it, that's great.
I kept it because

that was the only time my dad
ever said he was proud of me.

The one time.

Marshall,
did you write this letter?

Skip, I can't remember if...

Did you write this letter?!
Yes.

(dramatic music plays)

(music stops)

We'll be right back.

And we're back
with Marshall Malloy,

who's destroyed my childhood.

Skip, I wasn't
trying to destroy anything.

I was just doing my job.

"And, so, Skip, no matter how
many swirlies you get,

"or how many times they push you
off the pier

"into the cold, uncaring water
of lake Minikani,

know that you are never truly
alone."

Now that is some good stuff

that your father should have
written you himself.

Again, really sorry.

Sorry isn't enough, Marshall.

My dad entrusted
my spiritual well-being--

nay, the very molding of my
character-- to an employee.

Well, an intern.

Uh, uh, and we'll be right back

with the best of Skip.

BECCA:
Behold, Marigold,

an hour from now this room
will be filled

with the greatest minds in math
and science.

They'll receive trophies and
accolades

and a peanut-free lunch.

You're wasting your time.

Emily already told me I don't
have to take honors algebra.

I'm not hear to tell
you you have to take it.

I am here to show you
that you want to take it.

Now, meet Kayla.

She's who you could be one day.

(robot voice):
Take me to your leader.

Who is also your father.

(laughs)

Nope.
I'm just
kidding.

It's nice
to meet you.

I thought you two
might hang out.

Talk about all the cool stuff
you're into

and how for Kayla,
that's math.

And bugs.

Oh, Kayla, shut up.

(sighs)

Marigold, wait.

If you're trying to bribe me,
at least introduce me

to somebody cool or famous

or something.
Fine!

Not that I'm trying
to bribe you,

but who would it take
to impress-slash-bribe you?

Or do you maybe want
to hang out with Kayla more?

She's pretty cool.

So she said,
"There's no

E-to-the-Pi-I in team."

And I said, "Stop
being negative."

(girls laughing)

Yeah, maybe we should
just talk cash.

Dark times here
at the Gilchrist White House.

My dad never said
he was proud of me.

What else is a lie?

Maybe he doesn't think I look
like a young Joe Namath.

Maybe that's not a fat mirror
in the master bath.

Xander, how do you deal
with the fact

that Dad's never said
he's proud of you?

He told me last week.

(yells)

You tried to bribe her?

I succeeded in bribing her.

All we have to do
is get Hope Solo.

We need her

at the White House
by 4:00,

after which Marigold
will take honors algebra.

Now, Hope is in Mexico City
today, so we may need

Air Force One...
You look angry.

I can't believe
you went behind my back.

Well, only after you failed--
I waited for you to fail first.

Everything okay?

Hell no.
Absolutely not.

Great.

Let's hand out some awards.

Today, we are

celebrating the achievements
of 20 bright, talented

young women,
who thankfully

had parents who pushed
them to do

their best in math and
science...
Subjects which

happen to capture their passion.

The key ingredient
to success,

whether it's
the sciences or...

let's say photography.

Well, photography
probably isn't

the best example since

it's something you can master
by downloading a 99-cent app.

There's no app
for Pythagoras, girls.

It's actually called
a calculator.
The point is

ask yourself,

is my passion worthy
of my passion?

And if your passion
is photography,

then the answer is no.

Your family gives some
really weird speeches.

Yeah, they're fighting
about me,

but they're not exactly
fighting about me.

I get it-- my mom and dad
give me grief all the time.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

You kind of seem
like the perfect kid.

I burn things.

EMILY:
Nobody grows up
and ends up saying,

"Oh, I'm so glad
I took all that math."

BECCA:
I do, every day.

My point is
trophies are great,

but you can't take them
with you when you die.

The Egyptians did.

And now,

instead of this, uh,

please welcome the President
of the United States.

(applause)

Thank you, Emily.

Thank you, Becca.

Wow.

What do you say after all that?

You girls have done great work
on your projects.

I'm so proud

of all of you.

SKIP:
Oh, really?

Huh.

You don't say.

You're proud of a bunch
of little girls

you don't even know.

How neat.
Is he supposed to speak, too?

That's a mistake.

I'm on it.
Hey, Dad.

Is this a Q and A 'cause boy,

do I have a Q for your A.

Ladies and gentlemen,
do not believe

a word this man says
because chances are

he didn't make up any
of those words himself.

For President Dale Gilchrist
is an outsourcer

of fatherly love.

Oh!

Let's multiply, huh?

The only thing being
multiplied here are lies!

MARSHALL:
Skip.

It won't rip.

We need to wrap it up now.
Give me this.

Why won't it rip?
Just give me...

All right, I got a lot

of fires to put out.
Let's do this.

Marshall, Skip is upset about
that letter situation.

How can we contain it?

Actually, sir, he wants you
to apologize on his podcast.

He says you're a "get."

Fine.
And he's also demanding

two bags of potato chips and
if the word "baked" appears

anywhere on the packaging he
will quote, "go bo-nanners."

Moving on.

Emily, Becca,

that was a real
debacle back there.

You two need
to figure this out.

She's letting Marigold
squander her future.

She needs to understand
who the parent is here.

All right, maybe

it's time you two had

a third party weigh in.

You know, someone to listen in
who cares about both of you.

Yes, I think maybe
we're there.

I agreed more quickly
but did not verbalize it.

Great.

Marshall is your man.
What?

You really screwed me
with this podcast thing,

so good luck, kid.

Hey, Xander.
You got the stuff?

Yeah, uh, chips, yeah.

Here you go.

These check out.

Bring him in.

Listen,

Skip, I'm really sorry...

Bup, bup, bup.

Don't tell it to me.

Tell it
to the people.

With me now
for the next four hours,

President Dale Gilchrist.

And that is why Marigold should
have the freedom to follow

her passion.
Except she needs
discipline.

Hey, I didn't interrupt you.

Actually I have
a 30-second rebuttal here.

Actually this debate is over.

What?
I have a life outside

of this place--
I'm in a kickball league.

Okay, then who won
the debate?

Yup, yup, I'm gonna
choose a winner.

Who won, Marshall?
All right, fine.

Although it was difficult,
the winner is...

Hi, guys.

So, remember
that algebra thing?

Sure.
Uh, yeah,
rings a bell.

Well, it turns out I can take

both that and photography.

I had read
the schedule wrong.

So, see you.

So, who would've won?

Me, right?
Seriously?

You want me to rule

on an already-resolved
middle school scheduling issue?

Absolutely.
Yes.

All right, fine--
I'm a little short on time,

so you'll have to imagine me
saying "With all due respect"

before most of this.

Becca, you are not
the parent here.

Although you may have helped
raise Marigold in the past,

it was petty
of you to undercut

Emily's authority.
And you,

you are the First Lady of
the United States of America,

and you just told a group of
math students that math sucks.

You both acted
like children

in front of the children who you
were supposed to be inspiring.

So, the point is

nobody won. (laughs)

You both lost.

With all due respect.

You wrote a fake
letter to Skip.

Yeah, nice fake letter,
Marshall.

I'm going to kickball.

You hungry?

I could eat.

SKIP:
Next question,

Mr. President.

Dad, may I call you Dad?

Of course.

Name your favorite movie,
and as a follow up,

compare and contrast it

to Goonies, unless,
of course, it is Goonies,

in which case
you are correct.

Skip, I know why I'm here--
let's get to it.

Let's.

Name me one time that
you were actually proud of me.

Commando-- my favorite
movie is Commando.

Marshall.
He may have had a point.

We do fight all the time.

It's not good.

How about this?

How about we each say
something that we could do

to make our
relationship better.

Yes, good.
Okay.

Well, for me
as a parent,

I could be less
threatened by you

and more confident about
my role in our family.

(sighs)

I'm gonna be a horrible mom.

Oh, I'm not sure you
understood the rules.

What are you talking about?

You're gonna be
a great mom.

Would a great mom bribe
her child to take math

while crapping all over
her artistic impulses?

I mean, who's
a great mom?

Oh, God, my motherly
instincts suck.

Come on, this is about us.

We were both trying
to do what was best

and let's face it, we're
both very opinionated.

And ambitious,
and assertive,

and smart and we
don't suffer fools.

So... so you're saying that we
fight all the time because

we're both...
Fantastic, yeah.

So don't worry about
your mom skills.

You already helped raise
Xander and Marigold.

And Skip.

Now I'm gonna help you.

Thanks, Emily.

Yeah.

Or should I say Nana?

No... don't
ever say that.

Dad, just answer the question.

All right, fine.

You want to know some times
when I was proud of you?

The T-ball championship
when you were eight.

The time you were
Kenickie in Grease.

And your set at that
open mic last year.

But, Dad,

my strikeout lost us
the T-ball championship,

I fell off the stage in Grease,

and I fell off the stage again
at that open mic.

How do you strikeout
in T-ball?

Xander.
Those were all failures.

How could be proud
of me for those?

You might get knocked down
but you get right back up.

So, why don't you ever say it?

I'm sorry,
I'm just not

one of those dads who goes
around saying,

"I'm proud of you"
all the time.

But that doesn't mean
that I don't

believe in you, because

I do.

I guess that makes sense.

You know, this
whole letter thing

reminded me of something.

A letter that you wrote
to me from camp

that summer about how you

refused to quit even though
the camp was tough

and those kids were mean.

I can't believe you remember
that letter.

I didn't just remember it.

I kept it.

Dad?

This is a podcast, please
describe what's happening here.

The president is staring at me
as though he's fed up with me,

which is surely the top note,

but underneath that is a new era

in our relationship

that can only be consummated
with a hug.

I'm moving in--
Xander, cue the music.

No, no.

I am now hugging the president.

He is slowly

and reluctantly putting
his arms around me.

He's patting me one,
two, three times.

Oh!

What's that I'm detecting?

A slight stroking of his hand.

He's now pulling away.

He's now trying
to get out of the hug.

Uh, good luck with that, Dad.

DALE:
Skip, Skip, please.

SKIP:
Shh! Don't struggle.

What a moment.

Thank you for listening.