All language subtitles for 1600.Penn.S01E04.Meet.the.Parent.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.x264-AJP69_track3_[eng]

SECRETARY: Skip, he's
in a meeting.
Dad! Dad! Hi!

What if I told you
that I found a way

to combine one of
my favorite passions

with an employment
opportunity?

I'd say just make sure
you thought it through.

Okay, I thought, I thought
you were going to say

"Tell me more," so we're
kind of going off script here.

Which passion
are we talking about?
Magic.

No.

Good, then we're
back on the script.

Look, you know
I've got the skill.

There's not a pair of
cuffs that can hold me.

And you've always
said do what you love,

and the money will follow.

That's not the
case with magic.

Oh, oh, isn't it?

(gasps)
What's that?

I believe this
is yours, sir?

Don't-- Dad, don't you
want to ask how I did that?

I can't tell you,
but you can ask.

Good morning, everybody.
We don't have much.

Today, the President
and First Lady

welcome the Austrian Chancellor

for a series of bi-lateral
meetings.

So, I'm sure you have
questions about that. Evan.

Who's the father
of Becca's baby?

Is it any of the men who
have come forward?

As-as I have said, it is
a private family matter.

I'm not going to stand
up here and give every

fame-seeking wacko a comment.

Is it the physical
therapist from the Bethesda?

Is the puppeteer
from Wichita Falls?

It's a private family--
It's not the damn puppeteer.

No comment. No comment.

I beg you,
can we please, please,

focus on the arrival of
the Austrian Chancellor?

Uh, sure.
Does the Austrian Chancellor

have any comment on
Becca's pregnancy?

(reporters clamoring)

WINSLOW:
Sir, ma'am...

You'll greet her, followed
by the First Gentleman.

"Mister," or
"Herr Von Konig," for him.

"Madame Chancellor" for her.

You know, I met her at a
conference a few years ago,

I'll probably
call her Bianca.

Oh, how wonderful.

Hopefully, she'll
take it in the spirit

it's intended, and not as
a naked breach of etiquette.

That guy's obsessed
with protocol.

Winslow is the Chief
Protocol Officer, honey.

I mean, you don't
complain that your doctor's

obsessed with medicine.

Yeah, well,
I'm tired of the

passive-aggressive
history lessons.

Jackie Kennedy did this,
Dolly Madison did that...

Guess what? On Dolly's watch,
this place burned to the ground.

Because of a war.

I'm just saying.

Hey, Brad, I was so
excited about their visit,

I ate five Vienna sausages.

You want to see
a magic trick?

Madam Chancellor, Mr. Von Konig,

welcome to the White House.

Madam Chancellor...

Oh, please,
call me Bianca.

I mean, did we not
meet in Bonn?

We certainly did, Bianca.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Mr. President, may we have
a photo, please.

Ah, absolutely.

Herr, if you don't mind, here.

(cameras clicking)

I'm needed in a situation.

Of course,
Mr. President.

First Lady and I will
take it from here.

We've secured
the perimeter.

Just waiting for
your order.

We're sure this
is our man?

The leads pan out.

He matches the description.

Short of a DNA test,
we believe

that he's the father
of Becca's baby.

Was he in the Navy,
as Becca suspected?

Well, not the "new Navy."

(knocking)

Hey, buddy,
You're not allowed to bring

food or beverages
into the fitting room.

Dude, I saw you bring your
Yoshinoya beef bowl in there.

We're with the
Secret Service, son.

We're going to need you
to come with us.

(growls quietly)

You and I are going to
have a conversation now.

But I don't know...

Don't interrupt me!

Yes, yes, President--
Mr. Pres-- Mr. President...

Did you really think
you could do

what you did,
and then just disappear?

Whatever it is I did,
I did not think

I could just do it
and disappear.

No way... I wouldn't do that...

If I did that...

Are you playing
games with me?

Wait, do you think
I'm a spy?

I'm not a spy.

Or maybe I'm one of those
spies that doesn't know it

until I've been activated.

What?

Why would I suggest
something like that?

I haven't been activated.

Send her in.

Do you even know
who my daughter is?

Maybe we're
spies together--

Damn it, please don't
listen to me.

(whispers):
I'm super nervous.

Hey, Dad, what's up?

Dad?!
You said you were having trouble

tracking this guy down.

I just wanted you to find
his phone number.

You didn't tell me your dad was
the President of America.

Yes, I did.

So, you don't think
it's weird

that I'm the First Daughter?

Not at all, I'm the oldest
in my family, too.

(laughing)

So what do you do?

I work at Old Navy.

Oh, a Navy man.

So, what's why
you kept asking

if the Secret Service agent
was my boyfriend?

That guy seemed
really clingy.

Oh, come on...

Dad, can I just speak with
D.B. alone please?

If you so much as utter
one disrespectful word

to my daughter,
I will find you.

I have robots that
roam the skies.

Cool.

Sky robots.

Sorry... he can be
a little protective.

(sighs)
That's okay.

At least we're
back in touch.

What have you been up to?

You really don't know?

Don't you
watch the news?

Sports news.

It's a kind of news.

Uh, okay... well... uh...

You remember that
time we played

one-on-one and
didn't have a goalie

and we bowled a strike?

Wait, are you pregnant?

Seriously?
That made sense to you?

Whoa...

Look, I'm only telling you

because you have
the right to know,

not because I expect anything

from you and your... do you call
that a swimmer's build?

I know what to do.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
don't do that.

Will you marry me...

Becca?
It's Becca, right?

Oh, wow, that
is very sweet,

but, I can do
this on my own.

So, it does not take
a village.

Not for me.

So just stay right there,

and I will leave you... now.

Good day, sir, good day.

Good luck with
the athletics.

Uh... Is it cool for me
to be in here alone?

You're not alone.

My toilet was clogged
again, so I used Dad's

powder room--
heard everything.

You are having
a day, huh?
Well...

I'm Standrich Gilchrest
Jr., but my friends

all call me Skip, and I would
like you to do the same.

Okay.

I don't believe
in handshakes.

(sighs)
I could use a hug.

You're so sweaty.

Am I hearing this right?
Is this true?

You have the baby's
father in your office?

That I do-- flushed him
right out of his spider hole.

You mean the
Friendship Heights mall?

And you say I
go overboard.

Dale, what are you going
to do with him?

I'm going to make
him face the music.

What does that mean?

I'm gonna hang him up
by his bootstraps,

take him out to the woodshed,
give him what for.

Okay, and what are you
going to do with him

when you're done speaking
in macho metaphor?

I don't know.

Ma'am, I'm glad
I caught you.

I have just a few
dozen details to go over.

Immediately prior
to the luncheon,

the Austrian attaché
will announce them,

at which point
I shall announce you--

Winslow, I appreciate
the attention to detail,

I really do,
but for starters,

I don't want us to
be announced.

Excellent.

Yes, and those place cards,

we don't need
those at the table.

We know who we are.

No place cards.

Well, if Abigail Fillmore
can start a tradition,

I suppose we can end one.

Melissa, leave
that cart there.

And that china--
it's just too formal.

I want them to feel
like guests in a home,

not visitors at a museum.

Um, if I may, Ms. Gilchrest,
that china was selected--

I don't care if
Mary Todd Lincoln served

Emancipation Proclamation
pudding on these plates,

we are not using them.

Is that clear?
As you wish.

(sighs)
Your dad seems tough.

Yeah.
Tough, but fair.

Yeah, he seems like
the kind of guy

with a hard exterior,
but ultimately loving center,

who doesn't
show it that often,

'cause that's not
how he was raised.

Wow. Do me?

Actually, you seem
a lot like me.

Totally.
Let me ask you this, okay?

And if you don't feel
comfortable with his question,

you absolutely
don't have to answer.

Okay? You understand?
Yeah.

What's your favorite salad?

Taco salad.

Taco salad... I knew it.

On the count of three,
name your favorite animated

TV series from the 1980s
about feline warriors.
One, two, three...

BOTH:
Thundercats!

It's like looking in a mirror.

MARSHALL:
Internalize it.

"No comment."

Let me hear you say it.
Excuse me.

Becca, we need to talk.

Marshall, this is
not the time.

I really can't talk
about us right now.

That's actually great,
because there is no us.

There is you,
a guy named D.B.,

and the national press corps,
who, like chimps,

are cute as babies, but grow
up to be quite mean.

Well, I don't know what
I want to tell them yet.

Great, I'll just keep
going with the "no comment,"

private family matter, 'cause
it's working like a charm.

Hey, Sis.
You're probably wondering

what I think of D.B.

As we all know,

I'm a notoriously
tough audience,

but I love him.

That's nice, Skip.

And it's not just because
of his daring good looks--

although his eyes match the
waters of the Mediterranean--

it's because we
really connected.

Well, that's more
than I can say.

Becca, you are
on page one

of a fairy tale
romance with this guy.

It's a classic
boy-meets-and-immediately-
impregnates-girl story.

Skip, you know there's
no relationship

between me and D.B., right?

He's basically
a stranger to me.

We had one stupid night.

I mean, we've never
even been on a real date.

Oh, haven't you?

(laughing)

Emily, you have made
us feel so welcome.

Like old friends.

Well, good.

Sometimes we have to remind

ourselves this is not
just the White House,

it is also our home.

Then how come she
doesn't let me

watch football
in my underpants?

(laughing)
Oh, my.

Are we not to dine on
the Hapsburg china?

Come again?

I wrote the White
House months ago,

requesting to dine on
the Hapsburg china.

It's... special china?

* Planning a
romantic date for two *

* Using this stuff I find
because I'm smart *

Ooh!

* This painting...

* Is bolted to the wall...

* And now I'm looking
for something *

* To tie all these
pieces together *

* And look, a china cart

* La la, la la, la

The china was a gift from
the Royal House of Hapsburg.

The artisans
who made it

perished in a
workshop fire.

All was lost but the
china inside the kiln.

Well, those artisans did
not die in vain.

Nor did the mountaineers
who froze to death

transporting it
over the Alps.

Or the sailors,
who safely shipped it

all the way
across the Atlantic.

Well, they made it.

To shore, where they
were set upon by wolves.

Sounds like
bad-luck china.

Klaus, you're
being a pill.

Our hosts are well aware
that the Hapsburg china

is a priceless symbol of our
nations' mutual affection.

Well put.

That is why I'm going to feature
it at dinner this evening.

Ah!
If you'll excuse me,

I'm going to go
check on that now.

Oh, come on.
It was right here.

SKIP:
Becca, remember how you
said that you were sad

that you never got to go
on a real date with D.B.?

No, Skip,
I did not say that.

I practically said
the opposite of that.

Well, * Ta-da...!

Hey.

Hey...

I'm gonna figure out
what's happening.

Stay right there.

Skip, why?!
Becca, you owe it
to the American people

to give this thing
a shot.
No, I don't.

Then you owe it
to D.B.
Also not true.

You owe it
to Master Chief.
Who's Master Chief?

The name of the baby.

Look, D.B. is the father
of your child.

Why not give him
a chance?

What's the harm
in having

one amazingly romantic
interlude curated

by a master in
the art of datecraft?

Fine.

And we're back.

I don't really
know what to say.

Well, that makes
two of us.

Whoop. Sorry.

Got it.

Just listen to your body.

Kind of hard with you
breathing on my hair.

Here's a conversation starter:

D.B., you put
a baby inside of Becca.

Becca, you have D.B.'s baby

inside of you.
Yeah.

Springboard.
EMILY: Gone?

What do you mean, gone?

It was checked out to
the residence dining room.

Yes, but it's not in the
residence dining room.

I know. It's gone.

So, I've decided not to find out
whether it's a boy or a girl.

Ever?

No, I mean...

That was a joke.

(laughs loudly)

Watch out, Jay Leno!

For what it's worth,
I kind of hope it's a girl.

You do? Why?
Well, 'cause if she's

as smart and pretty and
intimidating as you,

she'll just kind of crush it
in life.

I knew I wanted to make magic.

I just never knew what kind.

Shall I dazzle you
with sleight of hand?

I can top that.

Now in order
for this to work,

I need you both to radiate
positive energy

toward the table, okay?

And then I'm gonna pull
this tablecloth

really fast
in, like, one motion, okay?

One, two...

No, Skip, no!

Cool. It worked.

Do you have any idea

how important this china is?

No, but it is
absolutely stunning.

And a lot of Austrians died

in some very specific ways
for it.

It doesn't matter.
It's all safe now.

You're D.B.
Hi, I'm Emily Gilchrest!

Yeah. Where do I know you from?

It's so nice
to meet you.

I hope everyone's treating
you well.

Yeah.

So sweet.

Okay.

(hushed):
Becca!

(mouthing)

(shrieks)

No!

Momily, it's not your fault.

Well...

(gasps)

What am I gonna do?
This is a disaster.

No, no, don't worry.

We can glue the pieces
back together again,

and no one will know
the difference. See?

Skip, how did you...?

Yeah, we can use this one
unbroken plate as our model.

Well, that's gonna make it
much harder.

(sighs)

Your stepmom is beautiful.
I see where you get it.

Is that a joke?

Yeah.

Look, it was really nice of Skip

to try and get us
together but...

now, who are we kidding?

What do you mean?

W-Well, we are very different
people, D.B.

You're a really sweet guy,
and you have a...

Actually, we didn't decide.

Is that a lacrosse physique?

Anyway, we will
figure this out.
I just don't think

that this is part of the plan.

Oh, oh.

Yeah.

Okay.

(sighs)
For what it's worth,

I went back to that bar
every Friday night

to see if you'd be there.

But you know what?
I wasn't there?

How do you know?
Were you there?

Yeah, this isn't gonna work.

Oh, uh, 20% off
friends and family.

I figure we're
at least one of those.

Uh, can I get a ride
back to the mall?

Not the Lincoln Memorial-y one.

The-The real one?

Come on, man.
Thanks.

Did something happen?
He looked upset.

I turned down his marriage
proposal and called him stupid.

Yikes.
Don't you want
to call someone

to help you with this?
No, I'm still enjoying

the maybe-this-didn't-
happen phase.

Oh, I remember that phase.

It's a good phase.

Look, I know this
wasn't exactly
what you planned.

But sometimes things
don't go the way
you expect.

Things break.

You just got to
pick up the pieces.

And if necessary,
tell some Austrians

that you've spit on your
shared cultural history.

(gasps)

I broke the china.

I know.

That's why I said (gasps).

I'm sorry, Winslow.
This is not your fault.

That's a very generous read
on the situation, ma'am.

However, I shall take the blame

and resign in disgrace.

It's the only way
to protect the President

from a diplomatic incident.

I'll have to move in
with my sister.

It's not ideal.

She owns a ferret.

Oh, Winslow, you
stuffy bastard.

I can't let you
take the fall for this.

I should have
listened to you.

I will tell them
what happened,

and I will suffer
the consequences.

As you wish,
Ms. Gilchrest.

Allow me to help
you clean up.

Guys! This house is full
of antiques!

You've really got to be more
careful, okay?

I can't emphasize that enough!

Dad?

I think we need
to go to the mall.

The Lincoln Memorial-y one
or the real one?

I'm so nervous
for you, Momily.

How will they react?
We don't know.

Bianca! Good evening, Klaus.

Guten abend,
Fraulein Von Konig!

Oh, good evening to you
as well, Skip.

Is that all the German
you know?
Yes.

The President and his daughter
will be joining you shortly.

Allow me to show you
to your seats.

I have a confession
to make.

It's not easy to say,

and I'm sure it won't
be easy to hear, but...

(all gasp)

How many fingers
am I holding up?!
What day is it?!

Why is Arnold Schwarzenegger's
accent different

than every other Austrian?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh!
What is it?
What's wrong?

It is no more.

It?
The Washington Windsor chair.

The First Lady knows its
history better than I.

Yes... George Washington
died sitting in that chair.

Musing... it was
his musing chair.

I took you for granted,
and now you're gone.

I am so sorry.
We feel terrible.

These things happen...

to good, well-meaning people,
I might add.

For instance, earlier today,

I completely shattered
the Hapsburg china.

What?

Moving on.
Let me ask you this.

Do you like barbecue?

MAHMOOD:
Dude, come with me
to split a Cinnabon.

I don't want a whole one.

Not hungry, Mahmood.

PRESIDENT:
Son?

Not again.

Mahmood, if I don't come back,
tell them my story, okay?

Tell them I loved to laugh.

I owe you an apology, son.

I have the emotions of a father
and the power of a president.

It's a dangerous
combination, sometimes.

BECCA:
I'm sorry, too.

I don't know whether
or not we're different,

because the truth is,
I don't know you.

And you don't know me,
so let's fix that.

Will you come back
for dinner at the White House?

Sure.

I don't believe
in handshakes.

(whispers):
Skip taught me that.

Very fortunate
that that storied
chair collapsed

at just the
right moment.

Yes.

We caught
a break there.

SKIP:
D-Balls, you're back!

D.B.:
Cool hat, man.

BECCA:
Okay, let's do this.

Photo op of me and
D.B. and the family

on the White House lawn.

You sure?

I'm not sure
about anything,

but that's okay.

All right then.

Why don't you all just scoot in?

MAN:
Becca! Becca, can we get
a photo?!

Becca, guy with the face!
Photo, photo, photo op, Bec!

(cameras clicking)

SKIP:
Thrill.

Awesome.

Now what hashtag
should I use?

'Cause this is kind
of a delicate situation.

Is "Baby Daddy"
one word or two words?