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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Oh, man, these beauties
would diaper up real nice.
2
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,513
Dad!
3
00:00:14,664 --> 00:00:16,515
We've got wonderful news.
4
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It's a gift we've been hoping
to give you for years.
5
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,596
You're finally off the wait list.
6
00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:24,839
A better room opened up.
7
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,525
Hot diggity!
8
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Not diggity.
9
00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:29,528
This room is tiny.
10
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:30,771
How's it better?
11
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,365
Better for us. It's cheaper.
12
00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,925
Much cheaper.
13
00:00:35,018 --> 00:00:36,976
Wouldn't you rather we spend that money
14
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:39,020
on your grandkids' education?
15
00:00:39,114 --> 00:00:41,189
No! They're dumb as dirt.
16
00:00:41,283 --> 00:00:43,024
Look on the bright side.
17
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,769
You're right next to the ice machine.
18
00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:50,107
And the pill machine.
19
00:00:53,962 --> 00:00:55,537
And how about this beautiful view
20
00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:58,390
they painted on the cinder block wall?
21
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,133
It's too bright!
22
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:02,469
And what about all my stuff?
23
00:01:02,621 --> 00:01:04,454
You'll just have to
get rid of some of it.
24
00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,790
And once you're used
to this smaller space,
25
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:10,569
it'll ease your transition
to a cozy pine box.
26
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,238
Pine? You promised me black walnut.
27
00:01:13,465 --> 00:01:15,482
Oh, of course, of course.
28
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,493
Only the best for my dad.
29
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,658
What about this shoe tree?
30
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,643
Does it bring you joy?
31
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:28,403
It makes me furious!
32
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I'm keeping it.
33
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:33,092
Whoa, Grampa, what's all this?
34
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:35,427
Eh, that's just all my old war stuff.
35
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:36,762
Can I have it?
36
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:40,507
Oh, it warms my heart to know
my precious memories
37
00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:44,311
are going to someone
who will cherish them.
38
00:01:47,757 --> 00:01:49,333
So how much will you give
me for all this crap?
39
00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:52,760
Well, most of these medals
are for cowardice.
40
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,364
Does this thing even work?
41
00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,267
Mm, four, three, two...
42
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,527
Nothing.
43
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,770
I'll give you a hundred
dollars store credit.
44
00:02:02,865 --> 00:02:04,865
A hundred dollars? Awesome!
45
00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:07,684
No switchblades or cyanide pills.
46
00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:08,776
Damn it.
47
00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:11,371
Eh, nah.
48
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:12,631
Mm-mm.
49
00:02:12,782 --> 00:02:14,374
Mm-mm. Nope.
50
00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:20,530
Ooh! Army comic book about "VD"?
51
00:02:20,549 --> 00:02:23,183
Why wouldn't I want to
catch Valentine's Day?
52
00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:25,978
Oh, my God, are you there?
53
00:02:26,129 --> 00:02:27,980
It's me, Margaret.
54
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:31,799
- Is that...
- You better believe it.
55
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,468
A human brain.
56
00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:36,713
My life up to now has
been merely a prelude.
57
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,492
Today a prank king becomes a prank god.
58
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,402
I want to buy your brain!
59
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,036
_
60
00:03:23,702 --> 00:03:25,288
_
61
00:03:25,345 --> 00:03:27,355
So you see, Comptroller Atkins,
62
00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:29,374
we have put your new funding to use.
63
00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:32,602
We've redone the cafeteria
floor and the ceiling,
64
00:03:32,696 --> 00:03:35,579
and we've added exciting
new menu options.
65
00:03:35,614 --> 00:03:36,440
Indeed.
66
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,534
Today the children are enjoying
a panoply of nutrition.
67
00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:43,113
Split pea soup, clam chowder,
both varietals.
68
00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:45,282
Bart, are you really gonna do it?
69
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:48,118
Guys, it's me, the Bartman.
70
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,971
This is happening.
71
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:53,565
Venison chili, beef bourguignon,
72
00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:55,308
a vibrant Indian curry...
73
00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,570
And best of all, brain under glass!
74
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:05,410
Bart, you did far more damage today
75
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,247
than just ruined
some administrators' suits.
76
00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:10,824
We may be wearing clothes
from the lost and found,
77
00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:13,067
but you are truly lost.
78
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,328
Today you traumatized
scores of students,
79
00:04:15,481 --> 00:04:18,257
rendered the cafeteria
uninhabitable for weeks.
80
00:04:18,408 --> 00:04:20,742
And worst of all, worst of all,
81
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:23,320
you-you broke Willie.
82
00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:24,654
Chunks.
83
00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:26,506
So many chunks.
84
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,600
What do you have to say for yourself?
85
00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:29,768
I regret nothing.
86
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,496
I'll gladly accept whatever
book you throw at me,
87
00:04:32,514 --> 00:04:35,923
because there's no way
I could ever live with myself
88
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,776
if I hadn't done this today.
89
00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:40,020
So give me all the F's, send me to juvie
90
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:43,598
or even kill me,
because I'm already immortal.
91
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,766
And when I do die...
92
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,009
Oh, shut up.
93
00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:47,769
Four weeks' detention
and you're not going
94
00:04:47,863 --> 00:04:50,180
on the trip to Colonial Shelbyville.
95
00:04:50,198 --> 00:04:52,291
You will be confined
to the detention trailer
96
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,351
while other students delight in learning
97
00:04:54,353 --> 00:04:56,295
how bricks were once made.
98
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,538
Um, Principal Skinner, if I may.
99
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,615
I believe we can deal
with Bart's behavior
100
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,375
in a more constructive way.
101
00:05:02,528 --> 00:05:05,378
Turn this into a learning opportunity.
102
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,955
It's not a learning opportunity.
103
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,215
It's a punishing opportunity.
104
00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:10,642
The boy should suffer.
105
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,719
He brought a human brain to school.
106
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,706
Exactly. And I think he should
bring it to school every day.
107
00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,041
Learn to take care of it,
108
00:05:18,060 --> 00:05:20,468
journal his experience, gain a sense of
109
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:24,305
responsibility.
110
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,049
No, no, please don't do this!
111
00:05:26,218 --> 00:05:27,400
I'm begging you!
112
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,720
Pale skin, sweaty lip, twitchy eye.
113
00:05:30,739 --> 00:05:32,164
Now, that's suffering.
114
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,458
Ms. Peyton, make it so.
115
00:05:38,397 --> 00:05:39,398
Oh!
116
00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:43,258
My greatest prank has become homework.
117
00:05:47,697 --> 00:05:50,515
For the next two weeks,
everyone is responsible
118
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:54,019
for the care and protection
of a fragile and helpless egg.
119
00:05:54,096 --> 00:05:55,912
Or in Bart's case, a brain.
120
00:05:55,914 --> 00:05:57,263
Ew!
121
00:05:58,351 --> 00:06:00,174
I don't want to lug
this thing everywhere I go.
122
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:01,585
I had my fun for five minutes,
123
00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:03,603
and now I want to move on with my life.
124
00:06:03,755 --> 00:06:05,179
And that's parenthood.
125
00:06:05,273 --> 00:06:09,426
Aw, man,
how do I even know this thing's mine?
126
00:06:09,428 --> 00:06:13,521
Um, I'm going out for candy cigarettes.
127
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,099
Be right back, slugger.
128
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:19,436
Be sure to keep your
caregiver journal up to date,
129
00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:21,938
because that's what you'll be graded on.
130
00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:24,124
Using a human brain for homework?
131
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,943
That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
132
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:29,036
You know, Bart, I'm your brain, too,
133
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,556
and I can help you
study all your subjects.
134
00:06:31,783 --> 00:06:34,951
Shut up, stupid, or I'll go back
to sniffing permanent markers!
135
00:06:35,044 --> 00:06:36,210
I'll be good.
136
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,065
♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show. ♪
137
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,976
Hey, Bart, do you really think
138
00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:01,903
Itchy and Scratchy is appropriate
139
00:07:01,997 --> 00:07:04,330
for a developing mind?
140
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:05,907
It's not a baby.
141
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,218
It's a glop of gunk in a jar of goo.
142
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,746
Your baby journal's pretty empty.
143
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,824
Are you sure this isn't
your second fake kid?
144
00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:20,997
Oh, this sucks. I need some me time.
145
00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,999
I'm going to Milhouse's
to watch reaction videos
146
00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:24,592
to reaction videos.
147
00:07:24,686 --> 00:07:27,112
Your teacher wouldn't like you
leaving your baby all alone.
148
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:28,930
Unless you get a sitter.
149
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,858
Last minute? I'll never find
someone on such short notice.
150
00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:33,118
Unless...
151
00:07:33,269 --> 00:07:37,013
Uh, Dad, would you watch
your grandson tonight?
152
00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:39,683
No. I told you
to get rid of it, remember?
153
00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:41,460
Oh, come on, please?
154
00:07:41,687 --> 00:07:43,295
I need some me time.
155
00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,538
Well, I guess
I could give it the same love
156
00:07:45,691 --> 00:07:48,208
and attention I gave you
when you were a baby.
157
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:50,634
I'm sorry, Homer.
158
00:07:50,669 --> 00:07:52,637
I'm not accepting organs as payment.
159
00:07:53,064 --> 00:07:55,797
- Anymore.
- Nah, it's just my kid's brain.
160
00:07:55,832 --> 00:07:57,177
They grow up so fast.
161
00:07:57,212 --> 00:08:01,204
Guys, I just found out I'm next
on the list for a new liver!
162
00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,872
- Yay!
- All right!
163
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:04,149
Then let's give the old liver
164
00:08:04,376 --> 00:08:06,392
one last night he'll never forget.
165
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,635
Set 'em up, Moe.
166
00:08:07,729 --> 00:08:09,321
One last night!
167
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:10,897
One last night!
168
00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:16,661
Atomic wedgie!
169
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:24,002
Oh, it feels so good
to get out of the house
170
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:26,412
and away from that stupid needy brain.
171
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:27,731
Am I right?
172
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:29,341
I'm enjoying being a Dad.
173
00:08:29,568 --> 00:08:32,159
I can fix the mistakes
my parents made with me.
174
00:08:32,254 --> 00:08:34,495
Player two loses.
175
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:38,091
I'm a failure because of you!
176
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,667
Bonus humiliation.
177
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,686
Defile him.
178
00:08:43,265 --> 00:08:44,265
_
179
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,932
Aw, kind of reminds me of my little guy.
180
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,385
Uh... not that I care or anything.
181
00:08:49,479 --> 00:08:52,038
Boys, I made you a healthy snack,
182
00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:54,649
roasted cauliflower.
183
00:08:56,635 --> 00:08:57,968
Aw, look at him there.
184
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,321
So cute on that plate.
185
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,657
Maybe I should get home.
186
00:09:02,884 --> 00:09:05,994
Sweet. More roastie-collies for me.
187
00:09:10,058 --> 00:09:13,317
Oh, where is Dad with my brain?
They should be home by now.
188
00:09:14,412 --> 00:09:16,395
Ugh, finally.
189
00:09:16,414 --> 00:09:18,322
It's about time, you good-for-nothing!
190
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,449
Relax, Marge.
191
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,585
The baby's fine.
192
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,328
Oh, there you are.
193
00:09:24,422 --> 00:09:25,996
Oh, my sweet little precious...
194
00:09:26,627 --> 00:09:28,296
Pickled eggs!
195
00:09:28,685 --> 00:09:30,259
Where's my brain?!
196
00:09:30,411 --> 00:09:32,020
Oh, must've gotten mixed up.
197
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:33,246
Two jars.
198
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:35,264
We were making 'em kiss.
199
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:36,673
He's too young for kissing.
200
00:09:36,693 --> 00:09:38,818
I got to go find him.
201
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:42,196
What happened to that brain my dad had?
202
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,423
Well, years of drinking,
203
00:09:44,442 --> 00:09:46,183
not to mention all that nuclear stuff,
204
00:09:46,277 --> 00:09:49,262
and, uh, I don't think it was
all that great to begin with.
205
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,614
The one in the jar.
206
00:09:51,766 --> 00:09:52,807
Oh, that. Oh.
207
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:55,359
I left that in the alley
for the raccoons.
208
00:09:55,436 --> 00:09:57,286
They'll eat tonight.
209
00:09:58,243 --> 00:09:59,288
No!
210
00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:04,277
Huh?
211
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:07,204
Nicotine beef jerky?
212
00:10:07,223 --> 00:10:08,872
I know who took you.
213
00:10:12,970 --> 00:10:14,562
I'm so jerked-up.
214
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:17,381
I feel like I smoked a whole cow.
215
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,609
Let's mess up this brain.
216
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,570
Leave it alone! That's my brain!
217
00:10:22,797 --> 00:10:25,389
After we blow it up,
you can have the biggest chunk.
218
00:10:25,408 --> 00:10:26,799
This isn't some frog
219
00:10:26,818 --> 00:10:29,077
where you can put a
firecracker in its butt.
220
00:10:29,304 --> 00:10:30,561
It's a living thing,
221
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,638
and it's my job to take care of it
222
00:10:32,657 --> 00:10:34,990
and teach it to do cool stuff like, um,
223
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:38,419
paintball and-and pooping
in jack-o'-lanterns.
224
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,922
So hands off my brain!
225
00:10:41,149 --> 00:10:42,423
Okay, okay.
226
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,259
You can have your stupid head cheese.
227
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,512
Don't worry. I'm taking you home.
228
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:51,674
I wonder if anyone will ever love me
229
00:10:51,826 --> 00:10:54,510
the way he loves that brain.
230
00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:56,753
Look, man,
I'm gonna take better care of you.
231
00:10:56,773 --> 00:10:58,422
You're the only brain I've got.
232
00:10:58,516 --> 00:10:59,923
You need a name, bud.
233
00:10:59,943 --> 00:11:01,592
Wait. Buddy.
234
00:11:01,611 --> 00:11:03,853
Perfect! 'Cause you're my buddy.
235
00:11:04,005 --> 00:11:07,615
Also I don't want to think
about this any harder.
236
00:11:09,953 --> 00:11:11,861
Thursday, May 14th.
237
00:11:11,955 --> 00:11:14,438
Buddy and I had quite
the adventure tonight.
238
00:11:14,457 --> 00:11:17,333
I realized he's more
than just some dumb prank
239
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,018
or a homework assignment.
240
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,462
He's a badass like me.
241
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:28,469
Garçon! Another high chair
for my associate here.
242
00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,790
You brought your jar friend.
243
00:11:33,868 --> 00:11:35,977
Oh, I get it.
Buddy's a little different.
244
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,645
But he's my responsibility.
245
00:11:37,796 --> 00:11:39,480
Plus he's pretty cool.
246
00:11:39,707 --> 00:11:43,300
Well, uh,
maybe he can be under the table.
247
00:11:43,319 --> 00:11:45,544
Whoa! Buddy's my plus-one.
248
00:11:45,546 --> 00:11:47,655
Would you rather me bring Milhouse?
249
00:11:47,806 --> 00:11:50,716
No, no, no, no, no.
No one said Milhouse.
250
00:11:50,735 --> 00:11:52,326
Simpsons, a-welcome.
251
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,737
Oh, my favorite a-family.
252
00:11:54,831 --> 00:11:57,056
A-Homer, a-Marge, a-Lisa,
253
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,816
a-Maggie, a-Bart, a-brain.
254
00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:01,151
A-brain?!
255
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:06,323
It's okay, it's okay.
256
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:07,991
It's just a school project.
257
00:12:08,085 --> 00:12:10,661
Good a-news. A table, she just open up
258
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:12,496
in a-private dining room.
259
00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:15,074
You can... go into...
260
00:12:18,579 --> 00:12:20,021
My pasta's cold.
261
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:21,898
Everything's cold!
262
00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:28,099
Ugh, this brain business
will not be good for Bart
263
00:12:28,134 --> 00:12:29,135
if he keeps it up.
264
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:32,182
Oh, come on, think of all the
worse stuff he could be doing.
265
00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:33,776
Or all the worse stuff he's done.
266
00:12:33,928 --> 00:12:35,018
He named it!
267
00:12:35,112 --> 00:12:37,705
And I think he gave it
a bite of tiramisu.
268
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,357
This is different for Bart.
269
00:12:40,451 --> 00:12:43,769
What if he becomes the town weirdo?
270
00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:45,621
Oh, weirdos aren't what they used to be.
271
00:12:45,773 --> 00:12:49,291
They start computer companies
or own the Las Vegas Raiders.
272
00:12:49,444 --> 00:12:51,034
Or become serial killers.
273
00:12:51,128 --> 00:12:54,447
But still, his odds are
at least two out of three.
274
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,057
Children label each other.
275
00:12:56,284 --> 00:13:00,043
Bart's in danger of becoming
"The Brain Boy."
276
00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:01,378
You worry too much.
277
00:13:01,397 --> 00:13:03,380
Remember when you thought
Lisa was going to hell
278
00:13:03,399 --> 00:13:05,291
because she was a vegetarian?
279
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:06,792
I still think that.
280
00:13:06,811 --> 00:13:09,570
Excellent work
on your egg projects, class.
281
00:13:09,797 --> 00:13:13,148
And your parenting journals
were really inspired.
282
00:13:13,301 --> 00:13:15,317
An A-plus? I can't believe it.
283
00:13:15,411 --> 00:13:16,802
I've never gotten one of those.
284
00:13:16,821 --> 00:13:19,638
I thought those were just
for suck-wads like Martin.
285
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,250
Okay, everybody, you did a great job,
286
00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,827
so it's time to turn in your eggs.
287
00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:27,421
Whoa, hold on there.
I am not giving you Buddy.
288
00:13:27,648 --> 00:13:29,906
Well,
one of the hardest parts of parenting
289
00:13:29,984 --> 00:13:32,167
is watching your child move on.
290
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,077
To be Willy's breakfast.
291
00:13:36,507 --> 00:13:38,173
Your brain can have a home
292
00:13:38,342 --> 00:13:40,642
on a shelf in the school science lab.
293
00:13:41,512 --> 00:13:42,661
Buddy hates science.
294
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,805
He's like me.
He's into MeatCanyon videos
295
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,274
and doing wrestling moves on the dog
296
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,167
and pouring Red Bull on pancakes!
297
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,427
Bart, it might be healthy for you
298
00:13:50,446 --> 00:13:52,613
to take a break from Buddy.
299
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,648
And it might be healthy for
you to have your own kid
300
00:13:54,675 --> 00:13:56,025
and not live through us!
301
00:13:57,028 --> 00:14:01,363
I never should've told you
that we were trying!
302
00:14:01,457 --> 00:14:03,940
Don't you worry. It'll work out.
303
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,419
It's only been three months.
Give it time.
304
00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:12,374
Ah, wifeless shopping,
305
00:14:12,468 --> 00:14:14,618
where all the meat is nuggets
306
00:14:14,637 --> 00:14:17,305
and the produce section doesn't exist.
307
00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:18,639
Ooh, the candy aisle.
308
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,699
Formerly known as cereal.
309
00:14:24,722 --> 00:14:27,148
I don't care if he is
Milhouse's best friend.
310
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:28,965
He's just weird.
311
00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:31,468
And not the kind with "a diagnosis"
312
00:14:31,562 --> 00:14:32,987
that we have to like now.
313
00:14:33,214 --> 00:14:35,714
My JJ says that he talks to the brain
314
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,307
when no one's looking.
315
00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:38,734
My little Seymour says the kids
316
00:14:38,786 --> 00:14:42,054
all call him "Brain Boy"
behind his back.
317
00:14:42,073 --> 00:14:45,391
Hmm. I wonder who they're talking about.
318
00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,485
Moleman?
319
00:14:46,577 --> 00:14:48,060
Well, whatever they're calling him,
320
00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:50,880
I don't want Bart Simpson around my son.
321
00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:58,754
No surprise to me that Bart
Simpson has become a weirdo.
322
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,923
When I had him in second grade,
323
00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:02,499
he ate a booger.
324
00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:04,868
I hear Bart shares his
bed with that brain.
325
00:15:05,095 --> 00:15:06,704
Puts a little sleep mask on it.
326
00:15:06,855 --> 00:15:08,354
It's my fault, girls.
327
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:11,875
I should've noogied him more,
knuckled some sense into him.
328
00:15:12,102 --> 00:15:16,605
He had potential, but I guess
he's just the town freak now.
329
00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,290
Haw-haw.
330
00:15:24,421 --> 00:15:25,872
Marge, you were right.
331
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:28,541
Everyone in the store
is calling Bart "Brain Boy."
332
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,302
It's already started with the yentas.
333
00:15:30,378 --> 00:15:33,063
It won't be long before it
spreads to the slaggards!
334
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,898
That's the whole rest of the town!
335
00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:36,216
Bart is lost.
336
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,902
He won't be known by his
name but by his thing.
337
00:15:39,129 --> 00:15:41,797
Like Comic Book Guy or Crazy Cat Lady
338
00:15:41,890 --> 00:15:44,299
or Professor Pocket Pool.
339
00:15:44,392 --> 00:15:46,893
Mmm. Mmm.
340
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,971
At least that professor
has lifetime tenure.
341
00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,064
Bart's gonna be unemployable.
342
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,566
Mom, Dad, I think I have a suggestion.
343
00:15:53,842 --> 00:15:55,310
Little Miss Know-It-All!
344
00:15:55,403 --> 00:15:57,662
I watched this nature documentary
345
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,405
that may apply to us.
346
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:01,574
When a chimp starts acting strangely,
347
00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:03,668
if it doesn't stop the behavior,
348
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,929
the tribe will savagely attack it,
349
00:16:06,156 --> 00:16:09,099
leaving it scarred and isolated forever.
350
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:10,267
I knew it.
351
00:16:10,418 --> 00:16:12,936
We need to protect
my special little chimp
352
00:16:13,163 --> 00:16:16,665
from the cruel people in
this town who would shun him.
353
00:16:16,683 --> 00:16:22,112
Yes, we must be the loving
parents who keep him locked up.
354
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,616
Open the door quietly.
355
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,509
You know how squeaky it is.
356
00:16:27,602 --> 00:16:29,011
I told you to oil it.
357
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,603
I'm not an architect.
358
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:32,864
Your stage whispers are too loud.
359
00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:34,607
Where are you guys going?
360
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:36,794
Bart! We, um...
361
00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:38,537
We're going to church.
362
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:39,963
Why didn't you wake me up?
363
00:16:40,115 --> 00:16:41,540
Uh, you hate church.
364
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:45,377
The itchy pants, the big book
of stuff that never happened.
365
00:16:45,529 --> 00:16:48,138
We thought maybe you'd
like to skip it this week.
366
00:16:48,365 --> 00:16:49,455
As a reward.
367
00:16:49,533 --> 00:16:51,700
Uh, for being so normal.
368
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:54,127
This is about Buddy, isn't it?
369
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,129
You're ashamed to be seen with me.
370
00:16:56,206 --> 00:16:57,815
- Of course not.
- No!
371
00:16:58,042 --> 00:17:01,485
Why would we be ashamed
of our son and his BFF,
372
00:17:01,712 --> 00:17:03,895
a jar of human remains?
373
00:17:04,048 --> 00:17:05,881
Look, sweetie, why don't you just
374
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,416
make yourself some Red Bull pancakes,
375
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,718
put on cartoons,
376
00:17:09,736 --> 00:17:11,903
and we'll be back before you know it.
377
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:13,238
Go. Go, go, go, go.
378
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,170
"...two oxen, five he-goats,
379
00:17:20,322 --> 00:17:23,674
five lambs of the first year, this..."
380
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:25,250
It's so boring.
381
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:28,703
But finally some peace
away from Brain Boy.
382
00:17:28,705 --> 00:17:30,997
I hate to say this, but you're right.
383
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:34,576
My jaw is unclenched
for the first time in weeks.
384
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,264
Sorry I'm late, everyone!
385
00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:40,932
Good to see ya.
386
00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:44,419
Don't mind us.
Just gonna sit with my loving family.
387
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,921
That's the Brain Boy.
388
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:48,940
It's so gross and wrinkled.
389
00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:51,776
Don't look at him, JJ.
390
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:54,037
Bart is troubled. Mmm.
391
00:17:54,189 --> 00:17:56,356
So, what episode of Jesus
are we on today?
392
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,617
Is he still talking
about not judging people?
393
00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:00,043
You know, loving your brother?
394
00:18:00,270 --> 00:18:02,379
Or your son?
395
00:18:02,606 --> 00:18:04,381
Ugh, Bart, stop it!
396
00:18:04,532 --> 00:18:05,698
This is enough!
397
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,217
Yeah, this isn't just some little quirk
398
00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:09,945
like wearing a fedora
or being a Libertarian.
399
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,130
You got a disgusting
brain in a greasy jar.
400
00:18:12,790 --> 00:18:13,824
My family.
401
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,709
You're the ones who always said
you'd love me no matter what.
402
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,061
Unconditionally!
403
00:18:18,213 --> 00:18:21,106
This was an unforeseen condition!
404
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:26,386
Oh, wait. I didn't mean that.
405
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,629
Too late, Mom.
406
00:18:27,722 --> 00:18:29,907
Yes, I have a brain in a jar. So what?
407
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:31,742
Sideshow Mel has a
human bone in his hair
408
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,726
and nobody talks about that.
409
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:36,655
For your information, weirdo,
410
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:40,142
this is the femur of a kangaroo!
411
00:18:40,235 --> 00:18:43,812
It was given to me by Yahoo Serious!
412
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:45,664
Go ahead, laugh and point at me.
413
00:18:45,816 --> 00:18:48,150
Call me Brain Boy. I don't care.
414
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,152
I have a friend who will never judge me,
415
00:18:50,245 --> 00:18:52,003
who's always been there for me:
416
00:18:52,156 --> 00:18:53,246
this brain!
417
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,748
He gets me,
'cause we're one in the same:
418
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:58,418
badasses who don't play
by society's rules.
419
00:18:58,512 --> 00:18:59,770
We're the Bartmen.
420
00:18:59,997 --> 00:19:02,189
Me and my best pal!
421
00:19:03,425 --> 00:19:05,609
Corbin Everly?
422
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,611
Who's Corbin Everly?
423
00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:09,095
Hold on.
424
00:19:09,264 --> 00:19:11,523
He was a local tax accountant
425
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,450
who donated his body to science
426
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:16,954
hoping it could benefit
the world after his passing.
427
00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:20,015
So Buddy's nothing like me?
428
00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,959
He's not some rude, crude, prankin' dude
429
00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:23,943
with the freaky fresh 'tude?
430
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:27,355
He was just some guy named Corbin?
431
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:31,359
Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been
sloshing him all over town.
432
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:34,362
Mm. I feel bad for Bart.
433
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:38,141
No boy wants his brain
to turn out to be a nerd.
434
00:19:38,293 --> 00:19:41,386
Mom, I don't think I want
to be the Brain Boy anymore.
435
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,705
Oh, sweetie.
436
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:48,819
I'm sorry we weren't more
supportive during this phase.
437
00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:51,655
You hear that? It was just a phase!
438
00:19:51,806 --> 00:19:55,492
♪ It's been a long day ♪
439
00:19:55,643 --> 00:19:57,810
♪ Without you, my friend ♪
440
00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,722
♪ And I'll tell you all about it ♪
441
00:20:00,815 --> 00:20:04,559
♪ When I see you again ♪
442
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,746
♪ We've come a long way ♪
443
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,156
♪ From where we began ♪
444
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:13,343
♪ Oh, I'll tell you all about it ♪
445
00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:16,680
♪ When I see you again ♪
446
00:20:16,907 --> 00:20:18,998
♪ When I see you again... ♪
447
00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:22,519
Oh, my goodness,
it's the brain of Corbin Everly!
448
00:20:22,746 --> 00:20:25,171
Oh, where have you been, old chum?
449
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,840
Oh, oh, let's never fight again.
450
00:20:28,466 --> 00:20:30,027
What a weirdo.
451
00:20:31,179 --> 00:20:33,938
♪ Oh, I'll tell you all about it ♪
452
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,534
- ♪ When I see you again. ♪
- _
453
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,549
Mom, this is stupid.
I don't want to do this.
454
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,234
No, we're doing this
455
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:58,263
because I support you unconditionally.
456
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,975
_
457
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:06,021
Maybe we should just get ice cream.
458
00:21:30,007 --> 00:21:31,096
Shh!
459
00:21:34,008 --> 00:21:36,944
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