All language subtitles for Spinout.1966.1080p.PCM.2.0.x264-FGT.eng

[Elvis Presley's "Spinout"
plays]

♪ To spin out, yeah ♪

♪ Spin out ♪

♪ When her motor's warm ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And she's purring sweet ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Buddy, let me warn ya ♪

♪ You're on a one-way street ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ She'll crowd ya close ♪

♪ Spin your wheels ♪

♪ Then you're gonna know
how it feels ♪

♪ To spin out, yeah ♪

♪ Spin out ♪

[Engine revving]

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

[Tires screeching]

[Tires screeching]

Mike McCoy!

-Oh!
-[Tires screeching]

[Water splashing]

Hey.

You're all wet.

I saw you last night
at the Crazy Club.

You sing great.

You know, you could
have got me killed.

You sure killed me.

Oh, and what you do with a song.

Do you know
it was all I could do

to keep from jumping up
on that stage.

Oh, knock it off, will you?

You just demolished me,

and you're standing there
yapping as if nothing happened.

-You're cute.
-No, you're cute.

The way you sing, the way you
drive, the way you get mad.

Mike, I really go for you.

Honey, I'm just about
to go for you.

Ooh, I can hardly wait.

If you're not out of here
in about three seconds,

I'm gonna put you over my knee,
I'm gonna paddle your bottom

until it's as red as
that jalopy you're driving.

But I'm only wearing --

That's good, because
you're gonna feel it, too.

[Woman laughing]

So long, Mike, for now.

"So long, Mike, for now."

[Engine revving]

[Instrumental music plays]

[Elvis Presley's
"Stop, Look and Listen" plays]

♪ When I was
a little bitty boy ♪

♪ Sitting on my papa's knee ♪

♪ I still remember ♪

♪ Every word my papa
said to me ♪

♪ Now, boy, if you ever meet ♪

♪ A pretty woman
walking down the street ♪

♪ You'd better stop real still,
look both ways ♪

♪ Listen or you'll
get in trouble ♪

♪ When you see her
go strutting by ♪

♪ Giving you that evil eye ♪

♪ And she's got
a kind of dreamy look ♪

♪ Just enough to get you shook ♪

♪ Now, boy, don't you
lose your head ♪

♪ You pay attention
what your papa said ♪

♪ You'd better stop real still,
look both ways ♪

♪ Listen or you'll
get in trouble ♪

[Cheering]

Alright!

♪ She'll drive you crazy
with the way she walks ♪

♪ She'll drive you crazy
with the way she talks ♪

♪ And you'll think you're
gonna lose your mind ♪

♪ 'Cause that pretty woman
looks so fine ♪

♪ And the very first thing
you'll know ♪

♪ You'll be telling her
you love her so ♪

♪ You'd better stop ♪

[Cheers and applause]

["Adam and Evil" plays]

♪ Now, Adam and euvil,
they go hand in hand ♪

♪ Eve taught him sin,
that's the way it all began ♪

♪ But every time you kiss me ♪

♪ My heart pounds like a drum ♪

♪ So if trouble is a woman ♪

♪ Trouble, here I come ♪

♪ I'm lonely like Adam,
you're evil like Eve ♪

♪ I shouldn't take forbidden
fruit 'cause I believe ♪

♪ I'll be heading
straight for heartache ♪

♪ I should cut loose and run ♪

♪ But if loving you
means heartache ♪

♪ Heartache, here I come ♪

♪ Here I come ♪

♪ You're not the angel
that I dreamed about ♪

♪ But you're the devil
I don't want to live without ♪

♪ A woman's a woman,
a man is a man ♪

♪ I can't be free,
I'm just putty in your hands ♪

♪ Who cares about tomorrow,
I need your love tonight ♪

♪ And even If you're evil ♪

♪ Baby, hold me tight ♪

♪ You're not the angel
that I dreamed about ♪

♪ But you're the devil
I don't want to live without ♪

♪ A woman's a woman,
a man is a man ♪

♪ I can't be free,
I'm just putty in your hands ♪

♪ Who cares about tomorrow,
I need your love tonight ♪

♪ And, baby, if you're evil ♪

-♪ Baby, hold me tight ♪
-♪ Hold me tight ♪

-♪ Hold me tight ♪
-♪ Hold me tight ♪

-♪ Hold me tight ♪
-♪ Hold me tight ♪

-♪ Hold me tight ♪
-♪ Hold me tight ♪

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

Um, well,
this is our last night.

It's really been great
here in Santa Barbara.

In fact, uh, I don't know when
we've had such a good time.

Singing, that is.

Anyway, we'd like to thank you
for your hospitality.

And we hope you'll ask us back.

Goodbye.

[Cheers and applause]

Hey, they're a great audience.

We were pretty good, too.

You were wonderful, Mike.

Would you pack my things, buddy?

I'd like to check out the cove
before we take off. Okay?

-Sure, Mike.
-Thanks, pal.

LES:
My pleasure.

LARRY:
we'll see you in the car.

Don't be too long.

Mike!

Well, I'll be seeing you, baby.

-Yeah, sure.
-So long.

Excuse me, baby -- uh, sir.

-So long, anyway.
-Uh, Mr. McCoy?

-Yeah.
-I'm Howard Foxhugh.

-Of Foxhugh Motors?
-That's right.

You put out
a great line of cars.

That Foxhugh Whiplash of yours,
that was a good car.

-Thank you.
-I raced against it once.

I know. I saw you in that race.
You were pretty good.

Thank you.
Well, I'll be seeing you.

Model J Duesenberg, '29, right?

Yep.

When I was a kid, this was one

of the most powerful
cars around.

It still is.

BOTH: They sure don't make them
like that anymore.

Hey! A Cobra 427.

That what you race in?

I did till this morning.

Some squirrel
ran me off the road.

Mr. McCoy, my secretary tells me
you turned down my offer.

-Your offer?
-$2,500.

That's a lot of money
just to sing one song.

-So you're the kook --
-I'm the kook.

My daughter's birthday
is on the 15th.

I want you to give a private
performance just for her.

MIKE:
I thought it was a gag.

You mean you'd pay all
that money just for one song

for one little girl?

After all, it's her birthday.

Why don't you get her
a teddy bear?

She wants you.

-Well, that's very nice, but --
-I'll make it $3,000.

TOGETHER: $3,000?

We'll take it!

$3,000 divided by four,
that makes --

No, four goes into $3,000.

-Let's see, divide --
-$750 each.

-Wow!
-Is that dollars?

I'll expect you at my home
on the evening of the 15th.

We'll give you
the best performance

-of our life, mister.
-I'm sure you will.

Boy, is your kid lucky
to have a daddy like you.

Congratulations, sir.

You just bought yourself
a great group.

I'm sure I have.

He has not bought himself
one thing.

I'm sorry, mister.
We can't make it.

HOWARD:
Why can't you make it?

-Yeah, why can't we make it?
-Yeah, why can't we make it?

Because Mike says so,
that's why.

We're supposed to be
in Los Angeles on the 15th.

-I can take care of that.
-Don't take care of anything.

They're expecting me in L.A.
on 15th,

and unless I break a leg,
I'm gonna be there.

Well, you're a man of your word.
I like that.

But I'm a man of my word, too.

And I promised Cynthia you'd
sing for her, and you will.

Who knows?
You may even enjoy it.

Well, there's nothing I enjoy
more than singing for a girl.

But it's gotta be
one that I pick,

not somebody who's paying me.

I'm sorry, Mr. Foxhugh,
we can't make it.

-I'll make it $5,000.
-Fi--

Let's see,
four goes into $5,000 --

You divide the quotient
from the logarithm,

and then you
subtract the factor.

Look, here's my schedule
for the next six weeks.

If your little girl
wants to hear me sing,

she can hear me
at any one of these places.

Of course, there'll be
a few people around.

Tell you what.
Have you got a pen?

Yeah.

It won't cost her nothing.
It'll be a free pass.

Let's load up.

[Dramatic music plays]

-You're in the way.
-Oh, sorry about that, Curly.

You better move.

[Engine starts]

McCoy!

You'll be there.

You know what happens
if we do that song

for Foxhugh's little daughter?

Somebody's bound
to hear about it. Publicity.

First thing you know, we'll be
on "The Ed Sullivan Show."

Our records will be
in the top 40.

And then we'll become stars.

-Stars!
-Stars!

MIKE:
Stars have responsibilities.

They have to keep appointments,

sign papers,
live in a house, stay put.

Yeah.

Ugh!

And you know what else happens?

-We make millions.
-Yeah. Money.

Oh, let's be stars.

-No. We get married.
-LARRY: Married?

-CURLY: Married?
-Married?

Yep, you got to get married.

-You want that?
-You must be kidding.

-You must be kidding.
-You want that? Not me.

I'd rather stay single,
do the things I like to do,

race, singing.

Of course, you guys
may have different opinions.

Oh, no. I don't
feel any different.

-Yeah, who feels different?
-Who feels different?

-Yeah, who?
-Well, then that settles it.

We don't want his $5,000.

-We don't.
-We don't.

I don't know about you guys,
but I'm hungry.

Midnight supper.

We'll have bisque di mare,

fillet of beef
with sauce Bordelaise,

salade grecque,
and chocolate mousse.

Chocolate moose?

Pudding, dingbat.

Moose pudding?

Without the antlers.

[Instrumental music plays]

Hm.

[Slow music plays]

[Mellow music plays]

[Gasps]
Oh!

Some kind of prehistoric animal!

No, it's a hound dog.
Here you go, fella.

How about that? There were
eight eggs in that recipe.

Maybe he doesn't
like moose pudding.

I think it was great, buddy.
The whole meal was great.

-Thanks, Mike.
-It was terrific.

No kidding. I never knew a guy
who could cook the way you do.

I'm not a guy.
I'm a girl.

Girl.
I gotta remember that.

LARRY: Yeah, why don't you
remember that, for Pete's sake?

LES: Wait a minute, you're
no mental genius yourself.

-CURLY: Yeah, you forget, too.
-LARRY: Well, nobody's perfect.

-CURLY: Well, he's right, fella.
-LES: Not fella!

CURLY:
Oh. Son of a gun!

I'll get some wood for the fire.

Okay. We'll clean up.

Dishes, you guys.
Oh, oh, and take your time.

I'm gonna wait
by the fire for Mike.

She's gonna wait
by the fire for Mike.

-Uh, you wash and I'll dry.
-Okay.

Or else you could wash and dry.

Oh, thanks.

[Instrumental music plays]

-Hi.
-Hi.

-You been looking for me?
-Matter of fact, I was.

-Are you from the FBI?
-No.

-The CIA?
-No.

The PTA?

Parent Teacher Association?

No.
The Peeping Toms Association.

Look, you've been following me
for weeks, I don't understand.

Not that I mind,
but I don't know who you are.

My name is Diana St. Clair.

Diana St. Clair.

Well, you're the most
gorgeous spy I've ever seen.

Excuse me.

I seem to be bumping
your binoculars.

Now, where were we?

Doesn't my name
mean anything to you?

Diana? Sure.

You're the goddess of the hunt,
right?

In a way. But haven't you
read any of my books?

-Your what?
-My books.

I wrote
"10 Ways to Trap a Bachelor."

That was a best-seller
for two years.

-I, uh, I think I missed it.
-Oh.

Well, how about "The Mating
Habits of the Single Male"?

You wrote that?

-Did you read it?
-No, but I saw the movie.

[Wolf-whistles]

-Why are you spying on me?
-For my new book.

"The Sex Life of Mike McCoy"?

Bet that would make
an interesting movie.

[Wolf-whistles]

Now, wait a minute.
If you get any ideas --

Look. I'm writing a book called
"The Perfect American Male."

I've already done chapters
on the doctor, the lawyer,

the athlete, the businessman,

the white-collar worker,
the factory worker --

Now you're scraping
the bottom of the barrel.

-Right.
-Okay.

But why spy? Let's make
ourselves comfortable.

And I'll tell you all about it.

-Boy, nothing like a fire.
-It is kind of romantic.

-A shame to waste it.
-What do you mean, waste it?

You know, if we had some girls
here, you know what I mean?

What am I, a hound dog?!

Oh, I didn't mean that.
You know, Les, I was just --

How about that Mike?

Hey, here we are
in the middle of nowhere,

and he comes up with a girl!

Hey. Where you going?

-Where you going, buddy?
-I'm turning in.

Buddy, pal, guy, Louie, Norman.

I'm gonna join a girls' band!

[Quirky music]

[Grunts]

This is Diana St. Clair,
the famous authoress.

-Hi.
-Hi, there.

Hey, didn't she --
Well, you remember her --

Didn't you write
"10 Ways to Trap a Bachelor"?

And "The Mating Habits
of the Single Male."

-Yes, I did.
-That was a great book.

I saw the movie,
and it was dirty!

Uh, it was truly
an intellectual experience.

Yes, ma'am, I was deeply moved.

I can't recall
when a literary episode

completely captured the crux
of the situation --

-Fellas! Fellas!
-I read that book.

Uh, we have to
restring our guitars.

Why?

We have to restring our guitars.

Oh, yeah. We have to
restring our...guitars.

-Oh.
-[Chuckles]

DIANA: Nice.

MIKE: What? The fire?

The way you got rid
of your friends. Cool.

-We've had lots of practice.
-I can believe it.

The fire's nice, too.

You really live like gypsies,
don't you?

It's the way we like to live.

Are you serious
about this book of yours?

Very much so.

Well, why me?

I'm looking for
the perfect American male.

One thing that makes him perfect
is that he's different.

He's not like everyone else.

You're different.

[Drum set playing erratically]

So is she.

[Soft guitar music plays]

♪ All that I am ♪

♪ Or ever hope to be ♪

♪ Lies in your hands ♪

♪ You are my destiny ♪

♪ When you are in my arms ♪

♪ I rule the world ♪

♪ And when we're far apart ♪

♪ How cruel the world ♪

♪ All that I want ♪

♪ All that I want ♪

♪ Is to be near to you ♪

♪ To spend my life ♪

♪ To spend my life ♪

♪ Making it clear to you ♪

♪ You are my heart ♪

♪ My soul ♪

♪ My dream come true ♪

♪ All that I am ♪

♪ I am because of you ♪

♪ All that I want ♪

♪ All that I want ♪

♪ Is to be near to you ♪

♪ To spend my life ♪

♪ To spend my life ♪

♪ Making it clear to you ♪

♪ You are my heart ♪

♪ My soul ♪

♪ My dream come true ♪

♪ All that I am ♪

♪ I am because of you ♪

♪ Because of you ♪

♪ Because of you ♪

When you find this Mr. Perfect,
does he get some kind of award?

Oh, yes. He gets me.

Well, that's nice.
That's real nice.

Hey! Knock it off!
Somebody's trying to sleep!

He's a real guy.
Turned me down flat.

-Who turned you down?
-Your Mike McCoy.

-I offered him $5,000.
-I knew you'd like him.

He drives a Duesenberg,
he races a Cobra,

and he told me to go to hell.

He's quite a boy.

Yes, I know.

I mean, he knows how to handle
a car. I've seen him do it.

And that big road race
coming up...

The Fox Five!

You want Mike
to drive it for you.

He's pretty well-known,
isn't he?

Oh, just one of the
best singers in the country.

Ah, no wonder they call you
Foxy Foxhugh.

Now, that's not a bit kind.

After all,
I'm doing him a big favor.

Think of the publicity
he'll get.

A big boost for his career.

I can see it now.
"Famous singer wins big race."

You mean,
"Famous singer wins big race

in new Fox Five car."

Never entered my mind.

Ohh!

-Philip!
-Yes, sir!

Make a note to call
my public-relations director.

Oh, Foxy, aren't you glad
I wanted him

for my birthday present?

First, he'll sing for you

and then he'll drive for me.

But, Mr. Foxhugh, y-you said
h-he turned you down flat!

Philip, you know what happens
when you get excited.

Don't worry.
He'll be here on your birthday

and he'll be in that race, too.

But that's wrong.
Y-You can't force a man!

And, besides,
h-he told you to go to hell!

Philip! You're fired.

[Groans]

Oh, Daddy.
What did you do that for?

You know Philip faints
when he gets upset.

Philip is 26 years old.
It's time he stopped fainting.

Well, he's sensitive.

Well, I'd better get going.
It's a busy day.

The proxy fight, the big merger,
and, uh, your birthday present.

You will get him?

They don't call me Foxy
for nothing.

Ooh. [Chuckles]

Uh, and, Mr. Foxhugh, I think
it's more than enough that --

-He's gone, Philip.
-Oh.

♪♪

[Elvis Presley's
"Never Say Yes" plays]

♪ Look out now,
I'm running wild ♪

♪ There ain't no holding back
this child ♪

♪ I guess you'd say
I'm a son of a gun ♪

♪ Living just for
a life of fun ♪

♪ Here's the secret
of my success ♪

♪ Never say yes,
No, NO, never say yes ♪

♪ Life has taught me
one big lesson ♪

♪ Always keep
the girls guessin' ♪

♪ Tell 'em
that you love them so ♪

♪ You hate to leave
but you gotta go ♪

♪ That's the secret
of my success ♪

♪ Never say yes,
No, NO, never say yes ♪

♪ It's the oldest game
in the world ♪

♪ And you gotta know
how to play it ♪

♪ Tell her yes in so many ways ♪

♪ But never, ever say it ♪

♪ That's how I keep going on ♪

♪ Here today, tomorrow gone ♪

4 That's the kind of life
for me ♪

♪ Being free like I want to be ♪

♪ Here's the secret
of my success ♪

♪ Never say yes,
No, NO, never say yes ♪

♪ It's the oldest game
in the world ♪

♪ And you gotta know
how to play it ♪

♪ Tell her yes in so many ways ♪

♪ But never, ever say it ♪

♪ And that's how
I keep going on ♪

♪ Here today, tomorrow gone ♪

♪ That's the kind of life
for me ♪

♪ Being free like I want to be ♪

♪ Here's the secret
of my success ♪

♪ Never say yes,
No, no, never say yes ♪

♪ No, no, never say yes ♪

Mike? Mike? Oh, Mike!

MIKE: Oh, hiya, Harry.
I'll be right with you.

Listen, Les, on your solo,
really open up, okay?

Gotcha.

Let's try that
next-to-last number, okay?

-Mike.
-Just a minute, Harry.

Mike, before you waste
any more time rehearsing...

What's the matter, pal?
I thought we were sold out.

Sold out? Canceled out!

-Canceled? I won't quit.
-What are you talking about?

All the years I've been
in the business,

such a catastrophe
I didn't see, ever!

Well, who'd cancel us out?

"Dear Mr. McCoy,

this is to confirm your
appearance in Santa Barbara

on the evening of the 15th.

On completion of your concert
for my daughter,

I shall instantly have
your schedule reinstated.

Enclosed, please find check
for $5,000.

Sincerely, Howard Foxhugh."

Our whole tour has been
canceled! That miserable...

-Can he do that?
-He did it.

I'm sorry, Harry.

He likes to hear you sing, huh,
this grown man?

It's not him. It's his kid.

Mm, he must've broken into
his kid's piggy bank.

Sorry, Mike.

She must be some kid.
5,000 bucks.

I'd like to see
what she looks like.

Any brat who could get her old
man to pull a stunt like this.

Yeah. Can I feel the check?

She's probably ugly.
A rich, ugly girl.

-She'd better be, or I'll--
-Yeah, c-can I feel the check?

Mike, we're not gonna let him
get away with this.

What I should do is give him
a good, swift kick in his --

Watch it!

I have to show him
who he's fooling with.

Of course, if I did that,
he'd probably

mess up our whole tour, and, uh

we'd have to go
back up there anyway.

So it looks like our best bet
is to...

sing the one song
and get it over with.

-Yeah, might as well.
-Mm-hmm.

Okay. Santa Barbara. Let's go.

I'm ready.
I kind of like Santa Barbara.

Hm. I haven't seen you
spying around lately.

Miss me?

Well, here it is again.

Okay, fellas.
Restring your guitars.

And I'll hit her
with my snare drum.

-How's the book going?
-Finished.

I sent it in yesterday.

Which reminds me.
Shall we set a date?

A date for what?

My publisher has to
send out announcements.

Your publisher?

He's always wanted
a big church wedding.

Besides, he thinks
it'll help sell my new book.

Now, what are you talking about?

Mike!

-You've forgotten.
-Forgotten what?

Didn't I tell you?
You're my perfect man.

Well, you don't know me
very well.

Remember what I said I'd do
when I found my perfect man?

Uh, yeah.

-You said he gets you.
-That's right.

And as soon as I domesticate
you, get you housebroken,

you'll be the best husband
a girl ever had.

Husband?!

[Cymbal crashes]

Over my dead body.

I'll, uh -- I'll see you around.

-Let's go.
-DIANA: Mike?

I'm going to marry you.

Well, almost ready?

I don't know how long I can
keep Cynthia out of here.

She opened the rest
of her presents yet?

Look, Mike, I'm sorry I had to
use such high-pressure methods

to get you here, but believe me,
you won't regret it.

You're gonna change
my whole life, huh?

Maybe. I saw you win
at Sebring last year

with a car that shouldn't
even have been entered.

Sebring?
What do you got on your mind?

I'm bringing out a new
racing car, the Fox Five.

How'd you like to drive it?

Look, mister, I'm here
to do a song, and that's all.

And as soon as I'm finished,
I'm getting out of here.

If I'm lucky, it's the last
I'll ever see of you.

-Where's the birthday girl?
-Here she is.

-Surprised?
-Yeah.

Mike, sing something sweet.

["Am I Ready" plays]

♪ Am I ready ♪

♪ Can my heart be true? ♪

♪ Am I ready ♪

♪ To fall in love with you? ♪

♪ One love ♪

♪ One girl ♪

♪ One dream shared by two ♪

♪ Am I ready ♪

♪ To fall in love with you? ♪

♪ I have touched your lips ♪

♪ And now I know ♪

♪ I would be a fool ♪

♪ To let you go ♪

♪ Should I ♪

♪ Could I ♪

♪ How I wish I knew ♪

♪ Am I ready ♪

♪ To fall in love with you? ♪

♪ Should I ♪

♪ Could I ♪

♪ How I wish I knew ♪

♪ Am I ready ♪

♪ To fall in love with you? ♪

♪ Fall in love ♪

♪ With you ♪

Alright. Let's wrap it up
and get out of here.

Hey, Les, you know,
you were wrong.

-She is rich.
-But she's not ugly.

I know. I know.

Mike, it was marvelous.
It was just marvelous.

-You're really too much.
-No, you're too much.

You ran me off a bridge
into a creek.

You messed up my car.
You canceled my tour.

Are you still angry
about your car?

Daddy will buy you a new one.

[Mockingly] Oh, Daddy
will buy me a new one.

Anything goes because
Daddy can pay for it, right?

I almost got killed.
Can he pay for that, too?

The way he paid to get me here?

Oh, but, Mike, it's my birthday.

Oh, it's your birthday? Well,
who are you? George Washington?

You and your daddy
can take your birthday and --

I just wanted to see you again.

So you had Daddy buy me, huh?

If that's the only way
you can get a guy,

you're really pathetic.

I'm sorry.
I'm really very sorry.

Uh, well, look.
Just take it easy.

I am pathetic.

I'm -- I'm worse than pathetic.

I'm spoiled
and I'm selfish and --

-Why, just a little, maybe.
-No, a lot.

I'm spoiled, and I'm ugly.

You may be spoiled,
but you're not ugly.

I am ugly. I'm miserable.

I'm very lonely. And...

When I saw you,
I just wanted you so badly.

And...

Just why did I have to ruin it?

Well, just take it easy.

[Sobbing] I'm just awful.

You're not awful.
You're just a little --

-What?
-A little...

Uh, a little...

["Bridal Chorus" plays]

-Mike, where are you going?
-Out of here. Just out --

Mike. Oh. Excuse me.
Mike, be at the track at 6:00.

Give you a chance
to test-drive the car.

I guarantee you've never seen
anything like it.

I designed it myself.
And I'm proud of it.

And you're just the man
to drive it.

Forget it. Forget me.
Forget her. Forget everything.

-Now, look, Mike --
-Forget it.

[Exhales sharply]

Sweetheart, my publisher

wants a list of your relatives.

Now, don't be upset.

He's agreed to a small wedding,

but he insists
on a large reception.

Uh, look, I'm not marrying you.
I'm not marrying her.

I'm not marrying anybody.
I'm staying single. Single!

Single! Single!
Single! Single!

[Engine starts]

And then he kissed me.

Kissed you?
That wasn't in the deal.

That's disgusting.

Oh, wait till somebody kisses
you. You'll feel differently.

Well, we've got to do something.
We've got to get him back.

Wait a minute, Cynthia.
You're not serious about Mike.

I mean, I want him to drive
the Fox Five for me,

but he's not my idea
of a son-in-law.

Now, Daddy,
stop acting like a father.

-I want him back for you.
-Oh.

Because of the Fox Five.

Boy, if he drives it
the way he drove at Sebring...

Oh, yes. Can't you just see
those headlines now?

"Singer speeds to victory
in fabulous Fox Five racecar."

May I ask?

How can he speed to victory
if he is not there?

Philip, don't be technical.

Maybe if we could keep him
in Santa Barbara for a while

we could persuade him.

To drive your car, I mean.

No, I'm afraid
we've pushed him too far.

Mr. Foxhugh, you'll never be
able to make him stay, sir.

-Foxy?
-Hmm?

Uh, excuse us, Philip.
Stay where you are.

[Indistinct whispering]

I was thinking...

[Indistinct whispering]

[Chuckles]

Cynthia, you're a chip
off the old block.

Operator?

[Siren wattling]

[Dramatic music plays]

-Mr. McCoy?
-Yes, sir.

Mr. McCoy, uh...

Look, Officer, i-if we're
on private property --

Oh, just call me Tracy.

-Tracy Richards.
-Tracy.

-Pleased to meet you, fellas.
-Hello.

Okay, flatfoot.
Cut the soft sell.

-What's the charge?
-Charge? Uh..

Hey. That's not a béarnaise
sauce, is it, fella?

I'm not a fella! I'm a girl!

-Fantastic.
-Yeah, it's a...

The sauce béarnaise.

-What's it to you, copper?
-Well, you see --

Look, Officer, if we have
to pay a fine or something...

Sorry. It's worse than a fine.

Uh, sir, can they give you
the chair for trespassing?

-You have to leave town.
-We're leaving. We're leaving.

Just hold it a minute.
Hold a minute.

What do you mean,
we have to leave?

I got my orders.
A complaint's been made

by, uh, an influential
citizen, and, uh...

Hey. That can't be
potatoes Provençale.

Who says it can't?

Could that influential citizen
be named Foxhugh?

Can he do this to us?

Ah, you don't live here.
You don't work here.

He's a big shot. I'm sorry.

That's alright.
No hard feelings.

-Can we leave in the morning?
-Sure.

Who does he think he is,
kicking people out of town

in the middle of the night, huh?

-Thanks, Tracy.
-Alright.

Well, uh, so long, Mike.

-Be seeing you.
-Yeah.

Hey, uh, maybe we can swap
some recipes sometime.

I'm a gourmet cook, too.

You are? No kidding!

Nice to have met you,
Officer Tracy.

Yeah, yeah.

-So long, Mike.
-Yeah.

-You know, he's not a bad guy.
-Is he really a copper?

-Sure, that's the new breed.
-Yeah?

Well, Mike, maybe we'd better
load up and get out of here.

Mike?

If you let guys like Foxhugh
push you around,

they start to think
they own you, and they don't.

He made us come into town,
but he can't

make us leave until
we're ready to leave.

Yeah, but you heard
what Tracy said.

We don't work here.
We don't live here.

-What if we did live here?
-We really don't live here.

What if we moved in
next door to Foxhugh?

Next door to him?
Pitch our tents?

Yeah, but there's
no field there.

Right. Just another big mansion.

That's what I mean.

How would you like
to live in that mansion?

I'd like to live
in that mansion.

-How are you gonna do that?
-Yeah, how you gonna do that?

I think I'd better
start some investigating.

Oh, well, it's a waste of time
if we're leaving tonight.

Who said anything about leaving?
We're staying right here.

[Knocking on door]

Oh, good morning, uh...

-Uh, Blodgett, sir.
-Oh, Blodgett, sure.

Uh, are they still
having breakfast?

-Yes, sir.

-At the pool?
-Oh, no, no, no.

Mr. and Mrs. Ranley never
have breakfast at the pool.

Oh. The same as always, huh?

-They're on the, uh..
-North terrace, sir.

-The north terrace..
-Whom shall I say?

I-I'd like to surprise them.
Uh, well, you know...

Huh! Oh, yes, of course, sir.
Uh, this way, sir.

-Good morning, folks.
-Good morning.

Good mor--

-Who are you?
-Mike McCoy.

Mr. Ranley, uh,
I have a message for you.

Is it okay to speak
in front of this young lady?

Young lady?

-Oh, this is my wife.
-Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

Yes, we've been married
38 years.

Thirty-seven.

-He is your husband?
-Why --

-Y-Yes. That's Bernard.
-You weren't sure, were you?

You both had to sneak
an extra look. You know why?

Because you haven't really
looked at each other

in a long, long time.

Tell me, Bernard,
what did you see

just then when
you looked at, uh...

-Violet.
-Violet.

That's a very lovely name.

Bernard, when you
looked at her just then,

did you see the beautiful woman
that you married?

-Well, I --
-Well, you should have.

She's very, very beautiful.

Why, thank you, young man!

Violet, when you looked
at Bernard,

did you see the tall,
handsome, vigorous man

that you married 37 years ago?

Well, did you?

-Violet?
-Oh, no, i-it's not her fault.

After all, I'm not as handsome

as I used to be.
Nor as young, either.

Well, you're not as old
as you're behaving, either.

And neither are you.

When was the last time
you had some fun?

-Well, when?
-Well, on our honeymoon.

-Violet!
-It's true.

When we got back, you went to
work for Papa, and ever since --

Well, we're gonna have to do
something about this. Okay?

-Okay.
-Okay?

Okay.

A 1929 Duesenberg!

Just like the one Papa gave us
for our first honeymoon.

They sure don't make them
like that anymore.

-Bernard! Please!
-Hm.

Oh, oh, you mean the car!
Oh, Mike.

-How can we ever thank you?
-How can we thank you?

It's very nice of you
to take care

of the house while we're gone.

Forget it.
You folks just live it up.

-Goodbye!
-Buh-bye!

-Have a good time.
-Have a real good time.

Don't worry about the house.

Hey, you did it, Mike!
We're Foxhugh's neighbors.

Let's go borrow a cup of sugar
or do something neighborly.

Just a minute.
Let him find out by himself.

-Oh.
-It'll be a big surprise.

I just hope
we don't get surprised.

Hm?

That kid of his,
she's so gruesome

she might try something.

Well, you know,
I really feel sorry for her.

Anybody who looks like that.
Ugh!

You're out of your mind.

The Santa Fe road race
will cover 250 miles

of very dangerous driving.

But my confidence
in the Fox Five is such

that I am offering $50,000

-to the winner of the race...
-$50,0007?!

...and $10,000
to any car that manages to

-finish ahead of the Fox Five.
-$10,000 for --

-Philip, are you a millionaire?
-No, sir.

-Then shut up and keep writing.
-Yes, sir.

Besides, with McCoy driving,

the publicity we get
will be worth it.

But you don't have Mr. McCoy.

Oh, yes, we do.
Just come with me.

♪♪

It worked. It worked.

How about that?

I knew he'd come back,
but I never figured

he'd move in next door.

Cynthia. Cynthia. Mr. Foxhugh.

What has he done
with the Ranleys?

-Oh, shh, Philip.
-Oh.

I bet he has them bound
and gagged in the cellar.

[Gasps] I thought
he looked like a criminal.

-Bye.
-Where are you going?

Oh, you don't think
I'm going over there

dressed like this. Bye.

-Philip, come on.
-Yes, sir.

[Screams]

[Water splashes]

[Upbeat music]

♪ When you're through swimming ♪

♪ I'll dry your back ♪

♪ Come and relax girl ♪

♪ In my little beach shack ♪

What you say, now?

♪ Dumb-di-dumb-di-dumb,
yeah-yeah-yeah ♪

♪ There'll be nothing
you'll lack ♪

♪ It's a pleasure
to welcome you ♪

♪ In my little beach shack,
come together, now ♪

♪ In my beach shack,
baby, we'll be alone ♪

♪ In my beach shack ♪

♪ I'll make you feel at home ♪

♪ Take off that wet cap ♪

♪ Let down your hair ♪

♪ Come to my beach shack ♪

♪ You'll be comfortable there,
you believe me, now ♪

♪ Dumb-di-dumb-di-dumb,
yeah-yeah-yeah ♪

♪ Be my guest, have a snack ♪

♪ See how nice I feed company ♪

♪ In my little beach shack ♪

♪ Together, now ♪

♪ In my beach shack ♪

♪ Baby, we'll be alone ♪

♪ In my beach shack ♪

♪ I'll make you feel at home ♪

♪ Come see my etchings ♪

♪ I wish you would ♪

♪ Don't be afraid, girl ♪

♪ My intentions are good,
you believe me, now ♪

♪ Dumb-di-dumb-di-dumb,
yeah-yeah-yeah ♪

♪ I know girls by the pack ♪

♪ There's no one I want there
but you ♪

♪ In my little beach shack ♪

♪ In my beach shack,
baby, we'll be alone ♪

♪ In my beach shack,
I'll make you feel at home ♪

♪ In my little beach shack ♪

Uh, hi, neighbor.

You're on private property,
McCoy.

You're trespassing this time.
I live here.

What have you done
with the Ranleys?

Philip suspects foul play.
Where are they?

They're bound and gagged
in the cellar. Blodgett!

-Yes, sir?
-The jig's up.

So You might as well spill the
beans about Mr. and Mrs. R.

Very good, sir.

Mr. and Mrs. Ranley
departed this morning

on a journey of
undetermined length

in an effort to renew

the ardor of their
initial nuptial vows.

That's what the man said.

During their absence, uh,

Mr. McCoy and party
will reside at Ranley Manor.

Sorry, pal. No bodies.

We're here, and there's
nothing you can do about it.

Thank you, Blodgett.
How do you like that?

I like it.

And I like a man
who can make up his mind.

Delicious.

May I have one?

-Give him one.
-Certainly.

-[Sizzling]
-[Screams]

Hm.

I knew you'd be back.

-You did?
-Mm-hmm.

Remember last night when you
told me I was a spoiled brat?

-Yeah, I remember.
-And I said you were right?

Look, I don't want to
go through it again.

You were right. I am spoiled.
But I always get what I want.

Well, up until now maybe --

I wanted you to sing for me,
you did.

I wanted you to stay in
Santa Barbara, you're here.

Now, wait a minute.
I'm here because

your father tried
to run me out of town.

Of course. We knew if we tried
to make you stay, you'd go.

So we figured
the simplest way to get you

to stay was to tell you to go.

So we told you to go,
and here you are.

So, see? I got what I wanted.

-You're quite a girl.
-You're quite a guy.

Mike, there's something else
I want.

Well, do you want
to tell me now

or should I wait
till after you get it?

[Chuckles] I want you.

-Huh?
--I'm going to marry you.

-[Pan crashes]
-Come and get it!

LES: Come and get it!
Come and get it!

["Wedding March" plays]

Remember, Mike.
I always get what I want.

I can do better than that.

["Wedding March" plays]

She's not going to
get you, Mike.

-I am.
-We've got trouble.

Oh, boy, we got troubles.
Those girls mean business.

Yeah. We've got to save him
from those two, ugh, hags.

Now, what takes a guy's mind
off girls?

A new racing car.

Yes? Hold on, please.

-It's for you, sir.
-Thank you, Philip.

-Hello.

-[Deep voice]
Hello. Mr. Foxhugh?

Would you like a certain someone
to drive your car in the race?

What's that?

Do I want Mr. McCoy to drive
my car? I certainly do.

[Normal voice] Good! Then be
at the speedway in --

[Clears throat]
[Deep voice] I mean...

be at the speedway in one hour

and bring the Fox Five with you.

We'll see to it
that McCoy is there.

Now, this is very important.
You must...

[Chuckles]

Fine. Wonderful.
I'll be there.

Thanks, fella.

[Normal voice]
I'm not a fella! I'm a girl!

[Clanging]

It's a good idea, huh, Mike,

come out here
to work on the car?

No. Why do I have to leave
a bunch of gorgeous girls

to come out here
on this dirt track?

We figured it'd take your
mind off your problems.

Problems? Who's got problems?

Well, since I'm out here,

I might as well check
the new fuel pump.

Close it up.

Something's not kosher here.

You sure know how to hurt a guy.

-Start her up, will you, Curly?
-Yeah.

[Engine starts]

I'll bet she'll go
like crazy now.

I'll blow her out, then we'll
check out the new carburetors.

[Engine revving]

Hey, uh, what did he mean,
"not kosher"?

[Whistles]

[Whistles]

[Whistles]

[Tires screeching]

[Engine revving]

[Tires screeching]

[Whistles]

Boy, that car is something else.

-Yeah.
-Beautiful.

It passed you like
you were standing still.

Hmm.

-Man.
-You like it?

It's terrific!

Hop in.

-Would you like to drive her?
-Sure.

-What are you after now?
-Who, me?

You sure pulled a fast one
to get me to stay here.

[Laughs] Okay, then
I'm pulling a fast one now.

There's a big road race
coming up.

Is it the car's first time out?

And I want you there,
right where you are now.

Look, Mike,
I'm gonna level with you.

This car can do it.
It can take it all.

Well, then you don't need me.

Oh, you're an insurance policy.

Imagination built this car. It
needs imagination to drive it.

That's why I want you.

Mister, if she feels as good as
she looks, you've got a deal.

[Engine revs]

-Yeah, we did it!
-Yeah!

-Yeah!
-Come on!

Sure knows how to
handle that car.

Well, best race driver
on any track.

Well, looks like
your plan worked.

Yeah.

You seem pretty anxious
to have Mike drive for me.

Oh, yeah, well,
the prize money's good.

You see, Mr. Foxhugh,
if we keep him busy driving,

he won't have any time
for your kid.

[Groans]
Hey, what'd you kick me for?

-Cynthia and Mike?
-Yeah.

If we don't break this up,
they're liable to do something

terrible, like getting married.

Ow! What'd you kick me for?

It's nothing to worry about.

Cynthia isn't even Mike's type.

Oh, sure. Who'd want to marry
a gorgeous millionairess?

-Yeah.
-Not me.

[Screams]
Oh, ow! Ow!

[Engine revving]

Hm.
Mister, you got yourself a deal.

I'm glad you like the car.

I'm gonna give you
the chance to drive it,

but you've got to
promise me one thing.

-Well, let's have it.
-Don't encourage Cynthia.

Cynthia? What's she
got to do with it?

Well, I didn't mind you
singing for her.

That was a birthday
present, but...

now she's talking
about marriage,

and that, of course,
is out of the question.

Are you trying to say that I'm
good enough to drive your car

but I'm not good enough
to marry your daughter?

Oh, now, Mike,
don't put it that way.

Okay, I'll put it this way.

If I wanna marry
Cynthia and she wants to

marry me, we'll get married.

As for your car,
you can drive it yourself.

-And one other thing.
-What?

You're not gonna win that race.

[Engine revving]

That man's got to
be taught a lesson.

Mike, you're gonna marry Cynthia
just to teach him?

That'd really shake him up.

-Philip?
-No, thank you, sir.

Champagne bubbles make me faint.

-Everything makes you faint.
-Yes, sir.

Ooh, champagne!
What's the occasion?

-We're celebrating!
-Oh, Philip?

No, thanks. Uh,
champagne makes me faint.

The bubbles.

-Celebrating what?
-Your marriage to Mike.

[Clinking]
To Mrs. McCoy.

Well, it's not exactly
settled yet.

Well, it's a mere formality.

I think Mike
will be good for you.

You, uh -- You need
a new kind of life.

-What new kind of life?
-Oh.

Traveling on the road,
living in those funny tents.

Let's see. There'll be
Larry, Curly, and Les.

You could take trombone lessons
and join the combo.

When we get married, that's
all over. We'll live here.

Mike can head up
your new sports-car division.

-He's perfect for it.
-Don't I know it.

But, honey, he's a free soul.

You put him in a cage,
he'll suffocate.

No. He's got to go on doing
just as he's always done.

-And if you're his wife --
-Wait a minute.

Did you say trombone lessons?

-Or tenor sax or --

-Wait a minute!
-What?

I knew there was something fishy
about this whole thing.

Fishy? Come on!

Foxy, this is me, Cynthia.
Remember?

A chip off the old block.

You made up this whole thing.

You don't want me to marry Mike.

You're not going to marry him.

-Why, you are a snob!
-I am not!

My hip, modern daddy is a snob!

And I told him
to stay away from you.

[Scoffs]
Oh, that was a big mistake.

Now he'll never drive your car.

Who needs him?
I'll drive it myself.

Oh!

Now, look, honey,
I am not a snob.

Mike's a great guy.
I like him.

But you need somebody
who's ready to settle down.

A solid citizen.

Somebody, uh, your own kind.

Somebody who's dependable.
Somebody like, uh...

Well, like... like Philip.

-You take it.
-Oh!

You may as well
get used to the idea.

-I am going to marry Mike.
-Oh-ho.

-You alright?
-Yeah. It's alright.

Watch the bubbles.

Hey. How come I have to
be the grease monkey?

Isn't this Les' job?

-She's inside cooking dinner.
-Oh.

Watch out under there.
I just loosened the oil line.

Now you tell me!

[Laughs]

CURLY: Taste good?

[Tires screech]

[Knock on door]

Come in.

What is this, a raid?

Yeah. Reach for the ceiling.

Alright. Now turn around.

[Gasps] Well!

Just wanted to see
if you packed a gun.

Okay, copper.
Where's your search warrant?

Oh, no search warrant.

No, I just dropped by to say,

well, I'm glad
you decided to stay.

Yeah? That's
the first welcome wagon

I've ever seen
with a siren on it.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Keep your mitts off!

If you want something to eat,

have some pate maison.

Thanks.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm!

-You make this yourself?
-Yeah.

It's got truffles in it.

Yeah! You know, I only
put in a little bit.

Most people can't tell.

Well, I'm a gourmet cook, too.
Remember?

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

-I'll bet you're good.
-Not as good as you.

Say, uh, Leslie, uh...

[Sighs] Lester.

Uh, Les, I know we just met
and all, but, uh...

I-I'd like to show you
my stuff, too.

-Etchings, huh?
-No, no, no.

I mean,
I want to cook for you.

Uh, will you have dinner
with me tonight?

Maybe. What are you gonna have?

Well, uh, how about escargot?

Yeah.

And bouillabaisse.

Yeah.

And cantaloupe glace.

Ohh, yeah...

-Boy, am I bushed.
-What a day.

Yeah. Me too.

I think it was worth it, though.

We're gonna give old Foxhugh
a run for his money.

I think she's just about ready.

Well, I'm ready for
some of Les' good food.

I think she said she was gonna
make a whipped-cream cake.

Oh, I wonder what we're
gonna have for dessert.

Would you believe
a whipped-cream cake?

Les?

-Hey, Les!
-Where's Les?

I wonder where she is.

"I'm out having dinner
with a friend."

I thought you were
gonna eat with us.

A friend? Wonder who she is.

-It's not a she. It's a he.
-Who he?

What about
the whipped-cream cake?

"I'll save you each a piece
of the whipped-cream cake

if he and I don't eat it all."

Why are they gonna eat it all?

How do you like that?

I like it. You know,
she doesn't get out enough.

A girl needs a guy.

And a guy needs a girl.

You've had a tough day,
and she's waiting for you.

She slips a tall drink
into your hand

and sits you down
in a soft chair.

Then she massages
the kinks out of your neck

with those soft, silky fingers.

-And then?
-Then you have dinner. A steak.

-Rare?
-Rare.

-And a big pitcher of beer.
-Cold?

-Ice cold.
-And then whipped-cream cake?

[Whistles]

Hello, darling.

-Oh, you've had a rough day.
-How did you know?

You just come with me, love.

How did she get in here?

I didn't let her in.
Did you let her in?

[Indistinct chatter]

Time to restring
your guitars, boys.

-We already did that.
-Well, do it again.

-Well, that's silly.
-Could be.

Now, don't argue with Mike.
You know he's had a rough day.

Watch it!

-She acts just like a wife.
-And he acts like he likes it.

There. Isn't that comfy?

Yeah. Feels good.

Those, uh, cool, silky fingers.

As soon as you've finished
your drink, we'll have dinner.

-I've got --

-A steak?
-Yes.

And a big pitcher of beer,
ice cold beer?

-Why, yes.
-And then?

And then..

-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-Can you hear them?

Then what are you
uh-huh'ing about?

I can't figure that Mike out.

First it's Diana, then Cynthia,
then Cynthia and Diana.

It doesn't matter which one.

If he gets married,
it's goodbye combo.

Goodbye dolce vita!

What keeps a guy's mind
off the girls?

-A new racing car.
-Right!

Now, if we can...

-We've done that!
-I forgot.

Now, your best friend
is hung up on a girl.

-How do you save him?
-Get him a different girl.

Yeah, but what if he's hung up
on two girls?

You get him lots and lots
of different girls.

-That'll save him.
-Right!

What did I say?

Lots and lots of girls.

["Spinout” plays]

♪ When her motor's warm ♪

♪ And she's purrin' sweet ♪

♪ Buddy, let me warn ya ♪

♪ You're on a one-way street ♪

♪ She'll crowd ya close,
spin your wheels ♪

♪ Then you're gonna know
how it feels ♪

♪ To spin out, yeah, spin out ♪

♪ Better watch those curves ♪

♪ Never let her steer ♪

♪ If she can shake
your nerves, boy ♪

♪ Then she can strip
your gears ♪

♪ She'll get you hot
and goin' fast ♪

♪ Then she'll let you
run out of gas ♪

♪ So spin out, yeah ♪

♪ Spin out ♪

♪ The road to love
Is full of danger signs ♪

♪ Too many guys were lost ♪

♪ Who crossed
those double lines ♪

♪ Don't you know
she's out to prove ♪

♪ She can really score ♪

♪ Never saw parts move, boy ♪

♪ Like that before ♪

♪ To flag you down,
that's her goal ♪

♪ Scoot before
you lose control ♪

♪ And spin out, yeah ♪

♪ Spin out ♪

♪ The road to love is full of ♪

♪ Danger signs ♪

♪ Too many guys were lost who
crossed those double lines ♪

♪ Don't you know
she's out to prove ♪

♪ She can really score ♪

♪ Never saw parts move, boy ♪

♪ Like that before ♪

♪ To flag you down,
that's her goal ♪

♪ Scoot before
you lose control ♪

♪ And spin out, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Spin out ♪

♪ Let me hear you, spin out ♪

[Cheering]

Give Mike a girl,
and he's one happy fella.

Give Mike lots of girls,
and I'm one happy fella.

-You're not a fella.
-You're a girl.

Hey! You remembered!

Every girl in Santa Barbara
is at Mike's party and I'm here.

Well, you weren't invited.

Oh, that's my daddy.
He always says the right thing.

That's what fathers are for.
Listen to that.

The night before a race,
and he's throwing a big party.

Are you sure you wanna
move your queen there?

Certainly.

Checkmate.

Well, I've got a year or two
on Mike.

And if I'm gonna drive tomorrow,
I'd better get some sleep.

-Good night, honey.
-Good night.

-Good night, Philip.
-Good night, sir.

Cynthia, I'll take you
to the party.

Oh, Philip.

-What did you say?
-I-I-I said--

I heard what you said.

We weren't invited.
Maybe they'd throw us out.

Cynthia, I-I don't want you
to think that I'm boasting.

-But I'm as much a man --
-Now, Philip, don't faint.

I-I have no intention
of fainting.

And if you wish to go to the
party tonight, I'll take you.

And if they think they're
gonna keep us out, I'll...

[Chuckles] I'll...

Well, just let them try.

Well, I'll go up and change.

Now, don't go away.

[Upbeat music]

Alright!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Well, looks like
our troubles are over.

There's nothing
like a wild party

to take your mind off girls.

Holy Toledo! The fuzz!

-What are we gonna do now?
-Relax. I'll handle him.

-Don't get him sore.
-Don't worry.

Hi there --

Fantastic!

I used your recipe.

Mine never tasted like this.

You want to help me
rustle up some more?

-I mean if you're not on duty.
-I'm not. I'm all yours.

This way, Officer.

Alright! Alright!
Alright! Alright!

-Susan!

How'd you like to
get married, Susan?

Oh, not until
I'm 50, 55, maybe.

I'm with you!

Alright!

Hey, is she --
You weren't invited!

Now, that's funny. I'm here.

That's right. She's here.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Alright!

Alright!

Hey, Les! Folks really
dig the hors d'oeuvres!

What's wrong with Les?

Oh! Hey. Wait!
You weren't invited!

-Don't tell us you're here!
-Well, we are here!

And if you think you...

And if you think you...

I-I just thought, uh,
we'd be welcome.

That's alright, Philip.

We are here,
and we're staying here.

Now, do you want to
make something out of it?

No, ma'am, not particularly.

Do you?

No. Have a good time.

-We're glad you could make it.
-Thanks.

Cynthia, I failed you.

Oh, no, you didn't, Philip.

In fact,
you did something marvelous.

-I did?
-You didn't faint.

[Chuckles]
Hey, that's right!

[Upbeat music plays]

Uh, see you later.

Cynthia, I'd like
to talk to you.

-Later, Philip.
-Not later. Now.

Daddy! Well!
Fancy meeting you here.

Yeah.

I couldn't sleep, so here I am.

Cynthia, have fun.

But do me a favor.
Forget about Mike.

She's not with Mike.
She's with me.

-Mr. Foxhugh?
-Yes?

I think we have something
in common. Can we talk?

We certainly can.

[Crowd cheering]

-Sit down.
-Philip.

Cynthia, I have to
say this to you now.

-Well, say it.
-Hm?

-Go ahead.
-Oh.

A-And don't interrupt me!

Ever since we were
children, you know

our family has talked
about it, and...

-Do you mean us?
-Us.

We!

Philip, we are not meant
for each other.

Well, why not?

Well, for one thing,
how can I marry you

when I'm gonna marry Mike?

Mike, Mike, Mike!
That's all I hear.

What do you see in him?

He is everything a woman wants.

He's strong,
brave, kind, and...

Well, he does things.

-Cynthia!
-Oh, Philip!

[Applause]

I can do things, too.

Of course,
I've never been a father,

but it seems to me
that Cynthia and Mike

just don't belong together.

You haven't told me your name.

Diana St. Clair.
Now, really, Mister --

Diana --

You wrote "Mating Habits
of the Single Male."

Yes. Perhaps if you
sent her off to Europe --

Did you actually
dress up like a man

and live with
a platoon of Marines?

You may think this is
just a silly crush, but --

Your analysis
of the mating motivation

was right on the button.

I admire an intelligent woman.

I know men, and he's ripe!

Now, if --

What did you say?

I said I admire
an intelligent woman.

Why, thank you.

What did you want with Mike?

That's why you're so concerned
about Cynthia, isn't it?

-I'm going to marry him.
-I don't get it!

Sure, he's an intelligent,
good-looking guy.

He has talent.
But why would a woman --

Hasn't Cynthia told you?

I'm not talking about Cynthia.

-I'm talking about you.
-Me?

Mr. Foxhugh, we've just met.

-You don't even know me.
-No?

I've read everything
you've written.

And believe me, I know you.

You've told a lot of intimate
things about yourself.

In bed, you don't wear any --

-Okay, okay. You know me.
-Right.

And I know the kind of man
you should marry.

-Not Mike?
-No.

Well, he's not the man for you.

Sure, you need a man like Mike.

Somebody who's strong, vigorous,
with a mind of his own

but older, more mature.

Somebody who, uh,

can appreciate
an intelligent woman.

Why, Mr. Foxhugh.

["Smorgasbord” plays]

♪ Some like their women short ♪

♪ Some like them tall ♪

♪ I'll take them any size
"cause I love them all ♪

♪ I'm just wild about
smorgasbord ♪

♪ I got a cravin'
for smorgasbord ♪

♪ A little kiss here,
a little kiss there ♪

♪ That's smorgasbord ♪

♪ Some take just apple pie,
some take just cake ♪

♪ I'll take the dish I please,
please the dish I take ♪

♪ I'm just wild about
smorgasbord ♪

♪ I got a cravin"
for smorgasbord

♪ A little kiss here,
a little kiss there ♪

♪ That's smorgasbord ♪

♪ Some like just
Southern belles ♪

Hi, y'all!

♪ They got a one-track mind ♪

♪ I go for all the belles
except the wedding kind ♪

♪ I'm just wild about
smorgasbord ♪

♪ I got a cravin"
for smorgasbord

♪ A little kiss here,
a little kiss there ♪

♪ That's smorgasbord ♪

♪ Some like their women short ♪

♪ Some like them tall ♪

♪ I'll take them any size
"cause I love them all ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Some take just apple pie ♪

♪ Some take just cake ♪

♪ I'll take the dish I please,
take the please I dish... ♪

-You know, she was right.
-She's not a fellow.

Boy, is she a girl!

It won't be so bad
if Mike marries Les.

At least she can
still play drums.

It's me. It had to be me.

I knew it from the first time
I played drums for you.

Hey. I want to talk to you.

Hey, come on, Tracy.
What's the matter with you?

Okay, Mike, I want the facts!

Well, look, Officer,

I was turning the corner,
and this car came out --

Forget the car!
Are you gonna marry Les?

Mike, you're not
gonna marry her.

Look, I told you
Cynthia and I --

Not Cynthia. Diana.

I'd like to know your intentions
pertaining to Cynthia!

Huh?

-Uh, I gotta think about it.
-You gotta think about it?

I'll let you know
after the race.

I think better when I'm driving.

♪♪

Hey, Mike, uh,
would you do us a favor?

-Yeah.
-Win and just keep on moving.

We'll pick up the prize money
and meet you later.

Are you kidding?

Oh! Mike! Mike!

Oh! Mike!

Oh! Mike! Thank you!

-Mwah! Thank you!
-How was it?

-How was it?
-We had a marvelous time!

-You look 20 years younger.
-Feel 20 years younger!

She drove the Duesenberg
like the Dickens in time

to get here for the race.

All drivers
to their starting positions!

Well, you got here just in time.

-Mr. Ranley.
-Good luck. Good luck.

[Engine revving]

-Good luck!
-Good luck to you.

You're gonna need it.

I'm gonna beat you, Mr. Foxhugh.

I'll beat the pants off you.

I'll be waiting for you
at the finish line.

We'll see who's got pants on.

MAN ON P.A.:
Twelve, eleven...

10, 9, 8, 7...

-Philip?
-That's right.

-What are you doing here?
-I'm gonna win this race.

In what car?

MAN ON P.A.:
One. And they're off!

[Crowd cheering]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Engine revs,
tires screeching]

Oh, Philip!

[Engine revving]

[Horn honking]

[Tires screeching]

The Duesenberg!

He's going to race
the Duesenberg!

Oh, dear! I knew we should have
stopped at the last gas station!

Hey, shorty! What's the trouble?

Yeah. battery's dead.
They've disqualified me.

Yeah?

[Engine starts]

-She's still breathing!
-Good.

I'll tell you what.
I'll drive the car for you.

If I win the race,
you keep all the money, okay?

MAN ON P.A.:
That's Mike McCoy taking over

Jody Blumquist's S.B. Special!

[Engine revs]

I'm ahead! I'm ahead!

[Engine revving]

[Tires screeching]

Oh, I mustn't faint!
I mustn't faint!

[Tires screeching]

Ahh!

[Tires screeching]

[Tires screeching]

[Indistinct yelling]

[Tires screeching]

[Tires screeching]

[Engine revving]

[Indistinct stammering]

[Babbling]

[Tires screeching]

I'm ahead! I'm ahead!

[Tires screeching]

[Tires screeching]

[Yelping]

[Screams]

[Tires screeching]

[Engine revving]

[Tires screeching]

-Look out!
-Ohh!

[Engine revving]

[Tires screeching]

Philip! You're fired!

Come on, Mike! Let's go!

[Cheering]

MAN ON P.A.:
And the winner is Mike McCoy

in Jody Blumquist's
S.B. Special!

We did it! We won! Whoo-hoo!

Congratulations.

-Thank you.
-Well?

-Have you made up your mind?
-Which one are you gonna marry?

["Bridal Chorus" plays]

I'm gonna marry all of them.

And that's just what I did.

["Wedding March" plays]

I married Cynthia...

...to Philip.

I married Diana...

...to Howard.

And I married Les...

...to Tracy.

As for me, I'm still single.

But..

♪♪

Alright!

["I'll Be Back" plays]

♪ Well, I'll be back,
yeah, I'll be back ♪

♪ Like a homesick train
on a one-way track ♪

♪ I got to travel
and hit the gravel ♪

-♪ But I'll be back ♪
-♪ But I'll be back ♪

-♪ Yeah, I'll be back ♪
-♪ Yeah, I'll be back ♪

♪ Well, I'll return,
I shall return ♪

♪ Don't cool those lips,
we're gonna see them burn ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll be missing
your kind of kissing ♪

-♪ But I'll be back ♪
-♪ But I'll be back ♪

-♪ Yes, I'll be back ♪
-♪ Yes, I'll be back ♪

♪ Yeah, there ain't
nobody to tell me ♪

♪ Stay or go, oh, no ♪

♪ And no one tells
the four winds ♪

♪ Where to blow, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I'll be back,
I'm coming back ♪

♪ Don't throw away
that welcome mat ♪

♪ The door I'm hopin' ♪

♪ Will still be open ♪

♪ A teeny weenie crack ♪

♪ To your shack ♪

♪ So keep that love light
burnin' ♪

-♪ 'Cause I'll be back ♪
-♪ 'Cause I'll be back ♪

-♪ Yeah, I'll be back ♪
-♪ Yeah, I'll be back ♪

♪ Yeah, there ain't nobody
to tell me ♪

♪ Stay or go, oh, no ♪

♪ And no one tells
the four winds ♪

♪ Where to blow, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I'll be back,
I'm coming back ♪

♪ Don't throw away
that welcome mat ♪

♪ The door I'm hopin' ♪

♪ Will still be open ♪

♪ A teeny weenie crack ♪

♪ To your shack ♪

♪ So keep that love light
burnin' ♪

-♪ Huh I'll be back ♪
-♪ I'll be back ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll be back ♪

[Cheers and applause]

♪♪

Alright!

♪ I'll be back ♪

[Cheers and applause]

♪♪