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1
00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:07,924
Oh, it feels so good
to be out shopping again.
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,634
Do you know how long it's been
3
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:12,137
since I've been in a store
without a produce section?
4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,141
Girlfriend, don't look now,
5
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:19,394
but there's a guy been starin'
at you ever since we sat down.
6
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,734
Really? What's he look like?
7
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,822
Blue eyes, hard body.
But I cannot tell if that's his real hair.
8
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,244
Oh! You!
9
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:40,081
What? We've gotta ease you
back into the dating scene.
10
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,167
Well, he is kinda cute.
11
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,295
I won't have to worry
about him running off.
12
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,965
- Here you go.
- Oh, let me get it.
13
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,925
No, no, no. I had the steak,
14
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,802
you only had salad, show-off.
15
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:56,723
This is my treat.
The divorce is final next month.
16
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,976
He got custody of the MasterCard,
I got the Visa.
17
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,311
There you go.
18
00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:05,899
Oh, you know what?
Let's come back on Saturday.
19
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,026
The cosmetic department's
giving a free makeover.
20
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,445
Oh, that sounds great.
I been wantin' to change my look.
21
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,280
I'm thinking Halle Berry.
22
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:15,784
I can see that.
23
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,661
I'm sorry, ma'am. Your card's been...
24
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:19,913
[whispers] declined.
25
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,415
- What?
- [whispers] Declined.
26
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,252
- Here, just use mine.
- No, no, no.
27
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,797
There must be a mistake.
Are you sure you did it right?
28
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,423
I ran it through four times.
29
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,591
Reba, let me.
30
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,593
No! No, this is my treat.
31
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,638
I know I've got some money
in here somewhere.
32
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,098
[mutters] No.
33
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,643
[continues muttering]
34
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,104
Oh. [chuckles]
35
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:49,859
I don't suppose you'd take
Oak Elementary carnival dollars, would ya?
36
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,987
[theme song playing]
37
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:56,116
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
38
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,535
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
39
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:02,872
{\an8}♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
40
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,583
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
41
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,961
{\an8}♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
42
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,924
{\an8}♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪
43
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:18,596
♪ I'm a survivor ♪
44
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,190
{\an8}Four thousand dollars for a diamond tiara?
45
00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,485
{\an8}Look, it's pretty obvious
46
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,363
{\an8}my credit card number's
been stolen by a thief...
47
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,364
{\an8}or a princess.
48
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,035
Yeah, you'd better cancel
my credit card account.
49
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,829
Fine, I'll hold.
50
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,248
Mom, are we poor?
51
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,210
{\an8}No, honey, there's just been
a mix-up with my credit card.
52
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:52,380
{\an8}Most children living in poverty
are from broken homes.
53
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,217
{\an8}I'm just saying we fit the profile.
54
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,761
{\an8}Yes, I'm still here.
55
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,056
{\an8}No. No!
56
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,809
{\an8}No, I didn't make any of those purchases.
57
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,312
{\an8}Okay, thanks.
58
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,564
{\an8}[chuckles]
59
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:12,942
{\an8}What kind of a sick person
would buy a diamond tiara,
60
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,069
{\an8}Foxy Lady lingerie,
61
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,572
{\an8}and then go on a $175 shopping spree
62
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,490
at the Joy for Jesus bookstore?
63
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,329
[together] Barbra Jean!
64
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,372
That does it.
65
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,335
She can have my husband,
but nobody touches my credit cards.
66
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,461
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey.
67
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,379
- Where you going?
- To your father's condo
68
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,964
to strangle a princess.
69
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,175
Have fun.
70
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,384
[phone rings]
71
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,386
Hello?
72
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,765
It's the principal for Mom.
73
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,059
Uh-oh.
74
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,936
See? Someone was looking.
75
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,229
[sighs]
76
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:56,736
[clears throat]
77
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,489
[imitating Reba]
Yes, this is Cheyenne's mom.
78
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,782
Can I help you?
79
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,367
You're not Mom.
80
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:08,248
Oh! Oh.
81
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,791
Oh, you're Kyra's principal.
82
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,751
Mm-hmm. She wasn't in school today?
83
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,295
[chuckles] Well, of course, I knew that.
84
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,214
That's because she was
sick as a dog today.
85
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,091
I must've plumb forgot to call.
86
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,760
Everything's been so crazy around here,
87
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:21,803
what with all the--
88
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,805
the bakin' I do.
89
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:26,432
Okay.
90
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,184
Bye now.
91
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,396
You skipped school today?
92
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,897
I never knew you had it in you.
93
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,316
Did you get a tattoo,
or pierce something, or what?
94
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,280
I ditched and went
to the downtown library, okay?
95
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,073
Maya Angelou was there.
96
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,033
And do I know this Maya?
97
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,454
Are you gonna tell Mom?
98
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,582
Don't worry. I'm too cool
to rat out someone for skipping school.
99
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,835
But next time at least go to the mall.
100
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,337
Thanks. I owe you one.
101
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:57,463
Yeah.
102
00:04:57,463 --> 00:04:58,506
Now wait.
103
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,260
Skipping school is wrong.
104
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,012
Oh, come on. You two have done it.
105
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,513
And look where it's gotten us.
106
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,142
- Van!
- We're about to be parents.
107
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,101
This is no joke.
108
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,687
A year from now
it could be our child skipping school.
109
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,444
We should use this opportunity
to practice our parenting.
110
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,612
Good idea.
111
00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,990
And if we screw up, it's just her.
112
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,534
- Okay.
- Hey,
113
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,578
I'm not gonna be your guinea pig.
114
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,538
Would you rather be Mom's guinea pig?
115
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,457
This bites.
116
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,252
Okay, we need to come up
with a punishment.
117
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,713
My dad used to take away my
driving privileges for a week.
118
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,006
I think that's fair.
119
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,093
Van, Kyra's not gonna drive
for four years.
120
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,721
Four years? Oh, that seems harsh.
121
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:52,310
Okay, I think...
122
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,353
- that you should go clean our room.
- Yeah.
123
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:56,689
What? No way.
124
00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,357
Oh. All right, then.
125
00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,443
Maybe I'll have a little talk with Mom.
126
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:03,988
I hate you both.
127
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,031
Thank you.
128
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,659
We're gonna be great parents.
129
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,414
[knocking on door]
130
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,294
Reba, hi.
131
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,463
We need to talk about my Visa.
132
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,883
Uh, now? I'm kinda
in the middle of something.
133
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,636
So was I. A nice afternoon with my friend,
134
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,763
until my Visa was rejected
135
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:32,600
because your mistress
went on a shopping spree with my card!
136
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,019
Do you have any idea
how embarrassing that was?
137
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:37,522
Oh, hi, Reba!
138
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,775
We were just thinkin' about you.
139
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,825
Please don't do that anymore.
140
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,495
Look, I'm sorry about the mix-up.
141
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:56,290
I obviously handed B.J.
the wrong credit card. It's no big deal.
142
00:06:56,290 --> 00:07:00,837
It's no big deal that she spent $4,000
on a diamond tiara?
143
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,797
[mouthing] Four--
144
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,715
[chuckles nervously]
145
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,175
It was on sale!
146
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,305
Besides, if I'm gonna wear
the plain white suit
147
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,890
instead of a real wedding dress,
148
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:16,144
I have to have somethin'
to make me feel like a real bride.
149
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:19,730
Oh, yes! The traditional bride's tiara.
150
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:21,983
Reba,
151
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,527
I feel like this is my fault.
152
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:27,780
[whispers] So do I.
153
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:30,700
Oh.
154
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,370
You know, I'm...
I'm so sorry about the credit card.
155
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,289
Everything has just been so crazy,
156
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,749
what with the wedding being in two weeks.
157
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,586
You're planning on
getting married in two weeks?
158
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,713
- [squeals] Yes!
- Uh... [chuckles]
159
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,967
Barbra Jean, uh,
could you give us a moment?
160
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:48,885
Sure.
161
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:57,727
Two weeks?
162
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:01,814
Well, see... see this dental convention
came up in St. Thomas,
163
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,568
and I just figured we could get
married there without all the hassles.
164
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,863
And the best part is,
the whole thing is a huge...
165
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,699
tax write-off.
166
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:16,412
Brock, our divorce
is not final for another month.
167
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,998
Now, I realize the rules of marriage
168
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,125
have always been a little shaky for you,
169
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:26,047
but you can't be married
to two women at the same time.
170
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,007
They even made a law about it!
171
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,845
Well, actually,
I wanted to talk to you about that.
172
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:36,182
See, my lawyer explained
that there's this form that you can sign
173
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,976
that allows B.J. and me
to get married before our divorce
174
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:40,228
is technically final.
175
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,648
You want me to sign
a permission slip for bigamy?
176
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,776
Now, see, you make it sound all wrong.
177
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,154
It is wrong!
You haven't even told the kids!
178
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:54,116
Look, when I booked this trip,
I thought our divorce would be final.
179
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,535
And I didn't want to upset you.
180
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,995
Oh, findin' out this way
is so much better.
181
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,790
Come on, Reba.
182
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,251
You knew Barbra Jean
and I were gettin' married.
183
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,088
I can come over this weekend
so you can sign the form.
184
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,424
Please? It'd really help me out.
185
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,886
I'm tired of helping you out.
186
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,973
If you wanna get married,
you have to wait for your divorce,
187
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,141
just like the rest
of the cheatin' husbands.
188
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:31,404
It's not your birthday,
it's not Valentine's Day,
189
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,863
and I see flowers.
190
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:35,283
Some man done you wrong.
191
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,370
Brock's tryin' to butter me up
192
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,539
to sign that quickie
divorce paper this afternoon.
193
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,418
Well, he can send you
all the roses in Texas.
194
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,045
You stand firm. He deserves to suffer.
195
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,297
Are those brownies?
196
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,091
Help yourself.
197
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,553
It's not that I'm tryin'
to make Brock suffer.
198
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,597
It's the principle of the thing.
199
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,307
Why should I make it any easier for him?
200
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,725
Mmm. You're damn straight.
201
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,442
Do you have any idea
where Brock and I spent our honeymoon?
202
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,028
Two nights in Lubbock
on the way to dental school.
203
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,032
Sucks bein' the first wife, doesn't it?
204
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,702
Let's forget about Brock
205
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,454
- and go get our free makeovers.
- Mmm.
206
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,834
Oh! Why are you doin' laundry?
207
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:30,463
I don't remember threatening
to cut off your allowance.
208
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,673
- My clothes got dirty.
- Uh-huh?
209
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,967
{\an8}And since when are you
suitin' up for the Wildcats?
210
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,763
Well, I, uh-- You know,
I didn't wanna waste water,
211
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,599
so I just threw in some
of Van and Cheyenne's stuff.
212
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,060
Okay.
213
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,603
Why are you jumping all over me?
214
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,022
Can't I just help out around the house?
215
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,482
Did Cheyenne say something to you?
216
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:51,400
No.
217
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,194
Well, okay.
218
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:58,991
You buyin' that?
219
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,409
Not for a minute.
220
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:03,079
But when laundry's gettin' done,
I don't ask many questions.
221
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,381
Got it. Got it.
222
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,674
[gasps] Ooh!
223
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:17,843
[gasps] Oh!
224
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,763
I just love these little angels
with the sayings.
225
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,100
Kinda like God's fortune cookies.
226
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:26,727
Do you gift wrap?
227
00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,313
Does Jesus love the little children?
228
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,609
I'm not really supposed
to be buying anything.
229
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,737
I'm only at the mall to return my tiara.
230
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,948
It was for my wedding.
231
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,784
But we decided
it would overshadow my hair.
232
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,454
Oh! When's the joyous day?
233
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:50,418
It was supposed to be in two weeks,
but his wife is having some issues.
234
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,672
Oh, dear.
235
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,090
What?
236
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,260
This card was reported stolen.
237
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,970
[chuckles nervously]
238
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,642
Well, there must be some mistake.
239
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,853
I... I'm sure that's it.
240
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,187
[chuckling]
241
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,569
- Security? We have a sinner.
- No--
242
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,029
Mm-hmm.
243
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,461
So now we know why the makeovers are free.
244
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:38,257
My last car didn't have
this much paint on it.
245
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:43,262
Hello again, ladies. [chuckles]
246
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,681
Who's picking up the check today?
Not me, I hope.
247
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,767
[sarcastic laugh]
248
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,396
[cell phone ringing]
249
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,486
- [beep]
- Hello.
250
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,362
[B.J. squeaking] Reba...
251
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,322
You're kidding.
252
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,240
No. [continues squeaking]
253
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,367
Okay. All right.
Stop cryin'. I'll be there.
254
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,577
[squeaks]
255
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:07,495
[beep]
256
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,789
[chuckles] You're not gonna believe this.
257
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,458
Barbra Jean's in jail.
258
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,878
What'd she do,
steal somebody else's husband?
259
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,672
No, it's mall jail.
260
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,591
She tried to use
Brock's credit card again,
261
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,051
the one I reported stolen.
262
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,344
Go, Reba!
263
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:26,639
I didn't do it on purpose.
264
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,557
I say leave her.
265
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,185
A night in the slammer
will serve her right.
266
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,855
Nah, I can't just let her stay there.
267
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:38,275
'Course, it does seem a shame
to rush through lunch.
268
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,487
Are you ready to order?
269
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,324
Sure. Is the soft shell crab in season?
270
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,408
Not for another month.
271
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,827
That's fine. We'll wait.
272
00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,631
Here you go.
"Skipping school is bad," ten times.
273
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,258
Boy, was that hard.
274
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,053
That-a-girl. Huh?
275
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,347
What's going on here?
276
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,933
Well, Kyra raised a valid point
that doing our chores
277
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,477
doesn't teach her a lesson.
So she came up with this idea.
278
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,688
Mmm. And you caved just like that.
279
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,607
Is this how it's gonna be with our baby?
280
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,193
You're the good guy,
and I'm the big, mean mama?
281
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,281
Um, do we have to discuss this
282
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,867
in front of the "C-H-L-I-D"?
283
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:33,998
Well, I'm not the one
who went behind my back
284
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,165
and changed the punishment.
285
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,126
Well, my punishment was better.
286
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,961
- Well, I don't think so.
- I do!
287
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,296
You know what? Forget it.
288
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,256
I'm not doing anything else
for you freaks.
289
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,718
Oh! Oh, yes, you will, little missy.
290
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,929
As long as you are in our house,
you will live by our rules.
291
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:51,348
It's not your house, it's Mom's.
292
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:55,227
And I'd rather be punished
by her than you, so I'm turning myself in.
293
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,104
You guys are
the worst parents in the world.
294
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,817
I don't know what to do with her anymore.
295
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:04,361
Hey, she's at that age.
296
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,411
[gasps] Reba!
297
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:16,165
Oh, praise the Lord! I'm saved!
298
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,628
Relax. There's no
death penalty at the mall.
299
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,839
Then again, this is Texas.
300
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,388
Reba, I don't know if it's
the fluorescent lighting
301
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,558
or because I been alone
in here so long, but...
302
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,019
you look beautiful.
303
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:38,354
Yes.
304
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,860
That's it. I'm hosin' this stuff off
before I leave the building.
305
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,488
- What happened?
- Oh...
306
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:52,159
I was arrested
in the gift shop of our Lord.
307
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:55,579
God is good.
308
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,793
I was buyin' this for you.
309
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:05,172
I wanted to say I'm sorry
for all the problems I've caused.
310
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,967
This little angel's for all that?
311
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,053
Reba...
312
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,473
I have a confession to make.
313
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,561
I'm glad you told Brock
you wouldn't sign those papers.
314
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,023
I never really wanted
to get married in the Virgin Islands.
315
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,692
Too ironic for ya?
316
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,863
It was Brock's idea.
317
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:33,367
He's been pushin' to run away
someplace and get it over with.
318
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:34,952
Good ol' Brock.
319
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,455
It's not that I need a fancy weddin'.
320
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,708
I just want one,
321
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,543
in a church...
322
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,045
surrounded by family and friends,
323
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,339
our union blessed by God.
324
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,300
Reception to follow at Catfish John's.
325
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,763
That's every little girl's dream.
326
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,726
Instead, I'm knocked up, locked up,
327
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,769
and lookin' at three-to-life.
328
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,105
[sobbing]
329
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,405
[shrieking]
330
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,282
[continues sobbing]
331
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:17,244
- Oh, please forgive me!
- Aah! Don't do this, Barbra Jean.
332
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,874
- [stifling sobs]
- Barbra Jean.
333
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,002
- Your wedding...
- [snorting]
334
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,880
may not turn out
the way any of us have dreamed.
335
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,008
You probably won't get
to wear a tiara
336
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,593
or get struck by lightnin', but...
337
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,765
as long as your wedding
expresses who you are,
338
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,099
I'm sure it'll be very special.
339
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:40,934
You think so?
340
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:43,187
- Oh, what do I know?
- No!
341
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,064
I like what you said.
342
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,274
Oh, Reba, thank you.
343
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,610
You don't know what this means to me.
344
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,405
You may find this hard to believe, but...
345
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:55,532
I don't have a lot of friends.
346
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,704
Any chance you'd be my matron of honor?
347
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:04,958
Guard!
348
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,007
- [Cheyenne] Here comes Mom.
- [car door closes]
349
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,093
- [car alarm chirps]
- Last chance to cut a deal.
350
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,637
You give me your CD player,
and we'll call it even.
351
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:19,932
Hey.
352
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,060
Mom, I skipped school on Tuesday.
353
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,561
Nice knowin' ya.
354
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,023
I took the bus to the downtown library.
355
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,983
It was the wrong thing to do,
and I'm sorry.
356
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,237
Well, I'm disappointed in what you did,
357
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:37,116
but I appreciate you being honest
with me, so I'm gonna let it slide.
358
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,785
But if this ever
happens again, young lady,
359
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,162
there are gonna be
some serious consequences.
360
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,249
- I understand. Thanks, Mom.
- Mmm.
361
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,342
That's it?
"I'm gonna let it slide"? [scoffs]
362
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:59,221
Look, this isn't fair.
You never let me get away with anything.
363
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,018
[chuckling] You gotta be kiddin'.
364
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:09,106
We were just practicing
for when we become parents.
365
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,525
I mean, discipline is important.
366
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,319
Well, what kind of discipline
would you recommend
367
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:17,698
for two 17-year-olds
taking advantage of their little sister?
368
00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,118
You could let it slide.
369
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,914
I could, but what kind
of parent would I be?
370
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,710
My favorite. [chuckles]
371
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,344
- Hey, Reba.
- Hey, Brock.
372
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,388
I brought you somethin'.
373
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:43,932
Brock, stop with the bribes.
374
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,350
I'll just-- Just open it.
375
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,269
[sighs]
376
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,981
[gasps] Oh, look! It's my tiara!
377
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:56,570
It's all yours.
I really am sorry about the screwup.
378
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:57,487
Thanks.
379
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,698
So where is the form? I'll sign it.
380
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,033
What?
381
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,203
You can get married in St. Thomas.
382
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,705
You actually made me
feel sorry for Barbra Jean,
383
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,998
and that ain't easy.
384
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,752
Actually, we're not going to St. Thomas.
385
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,963
No, I just wanted
to thank you for helping B.J.
386
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,465
Oh, that's all right.
387
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,966
I enjoyed seein' her in jail.
388
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,262
The reason I wanted to rush the wedding
wasn't for the tax break.
389
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:26,683
But the truth is, I know how embarrassing
this whole thing has been for you,
390
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:30,229
and I... I just figured
that a big to-do here in town
391
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,438
would make things worse.
392
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:33,982
Go on.
393
00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,569
But when B.J. told me what you said
394
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,656
about the wedding expressing who she is,
395
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,449
I canceled the trip.
396
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,910
- You did?
- Yeah.
397
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,703
We'll wait until the divorce is final,
398
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,706
and then we can have the wedding
that B.J.'s always dreamed of
399
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:51,041
right here in Houston.
400
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,918
Wait a minute.
401
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,503
Because of me, you're gonna have
402
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,756
this big wedding here in Houston
with all our friends?
403
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,343
Well, of course we'll want
all the kids there too.
404
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:04,680
Now, I realize the whole thing
about matron of honor was ridiculous,
405
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,723
but we do need someone to sing.
406
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,183
[chuckles]
407
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,064
I don't think you'd like
the song I'd pick.
408
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,155
[closing theme music playing]
29948
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