All language subtitles for Reba.S01E04.You.Make.Me.Sick.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-FLUX_track4_[eng]

Van, Cheyenne, hurry up.
Your eggs are gettin' cold.

I don't think Cheyenne's gonna want eggs.

She's been barfing for an hour.

Uh-oh. That sounds like morning sickness.

Actually, it sounds like this,

[retches] "Van, get me water."

[retches] "Van, hold my hair."

Van, stop breathing on me!

Mommy, I don't feel good.

Yep, you're pregnant.

Honey, morning sickness
is just one of the perks.

It can't be morning sickness, Mrs. H.

It's been going on all night.

Morning sickness is what
some liar called it.

When I was pregnant with Cheyenne,
I was sick for months.

Months?

Oh, God! How am I supposed
to get through this?

Why isn't there a cure?

Because men don't get pregnant.

- Here, eat this.
- Okey-dokey.

Honey, I'll go make you some dry toast.

Mmm. I just love busting the yolk

and watching all the gooey,
yellow stuff just run...

[gags]

Kyra, that was awful.

And so easy.

Van, your wife needs your help.

But she's mean.

I'm going.

Leave the food.

Mom, can I go to Robbie's after school?

Again?

Honey, you've been over there
every day this month.

Are you sure you're not
workin' late at the office?

Huh?

Sorry. That was the other guy.

Listen, I think it's time
Robbie came over here.

His house is more fun.

More fun than this?

Duh.

Look, I know that things have
been a little crazy lately,

what with the wedding and everything.

But the fun will come back. I promise.

She threw up on my shoe.

See? The fun's back already.

♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪

♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪

♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪

♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪

♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪

How am I supposed to do trig homework
when I have morning sickness?

Well, the trick is you're supposed
to finish trigonometry

before you get pregnant.

Here. I got you a little something.

"What To Expect When You're Expecting."

It helps you understand
what your body's going through.

- [doorbell rings]
- Excuse me.

But stay away from the pictures until
you're sure you can keep down solids.

Hi, Caroline. Hey, boys.

Hey, Reba. Sorry we're late.
The boys were doing crafts.

A pasta necktie!

Hey, Jake. This'll go great
with your Italian suit.

Oh, Caroline, you're amazing.
You put us mortal moms to shame.

Oh, Reba, you know me.
It's either stay busy or get liquored up.

[both laughing]

You've been such a great help

through all this that's been
going on around here lately.

Let me return the favor.

Hey, boys, how about you come over
Friday night for a sleepover?

[both] Yay!

"Fatigue, heartburn, bloating,

engorged breasts"?

Cheyenne, honey, read to yourself.

Okay, come on, Robbie. Let's go.

So, the sleepover,
you wanna bring Robbie by after school?

Well, Reba, I'm not so sure
about the sleepover.

Robbie gets scared
sleeping away from home.

No, I don't.

Ah, kids! [chuckles]

But I really would hate to put you out.

It's no trouble. Jake would love it.

- Besides, I want to.
- But you don't have to.

- I want to.
- But you don't have to.

I want to.

Then it's settled. See you Friday.

I am never having sex again.

[chuckles]

Kids.

Hey, Montgomery, think fast.

Are you feeling all right, son?
You've been draggin' all week.

I know, I know. I'm tired.
I've been taking care of Cheyenne.

- Why? What's wrong?
- She caught mornin' sickness.

She's really sick.

Yeah, been there, cleaned up after that.

You must be going through
the same thing with Barbra Jean.

No, no. That was Reba.

B.J.'s a rock.

She's not sick?

Well, she had one queasy day,

but a couple of saltines,
a little ginger ale,

she was good to go.

You ask me,
most of it is mind over matter.

- You really think so?
- Oh, yeah.

B.J. doesn't wallow in it and she's fine.

You know what I think Cheyenne could use?

A change of scenery.

Well, she always wanted to see Arkansas.

I meant, why don't you guys come over
to our place this weekend?

See, B.J. loves to entertain.

That's a great idea, Coach.

- That's exactly what Cheyenne needs.
- You're damn skippy.

She's got to get up off the bench,

- get back in the game.
- That's right!

This game ain't over.
She needs to walk it off.

- That's the spirit.
- Team Montgomery's gonna beat this thing.

Thanks, Coach. I'm gonna go
tell Cheyenne right now.

All right. Go get her, son.

Whoa, Van. Van! Towel.

Oh, sorry, Coach.

No!

Hey, honey, how you doing?

I think I threw up my actual stomach.

Here you go.

I know how you're feeling.

When I was carrying Jake,

I could smell a chicken
while it was still on the farm.

Oh!

Mom...

And Italian food, huh-ho!

Just the thought of garlic and tomato
would clean me out.

Mom, stop helping, please.

Sorry. Just remember that morning
sickness doesn't last forever.

Once you get through this part,
it gets a lot easier.

Really?

No.

Good news, Cheyenne.

I have the cure for your morning sickness.

Step one, saltines and ginger ale.

Okay, step two.

It's time for you to stop
wallowing in this pregnancy.

Wallowing?

Look, B.J.'s as pregnant as you,
and she's not sick at all.

- She isn't?
- No.

And why do you think that is?

I dunno. Something to do with Jesus?

No, it's attitude.
Imagine it's the big game.

You're playin' your crosstown rival,

Morning Sickness.

It's the fourth quarter.

You got nothing left,
but you dig down deep inside.

You get up and shake it off!

You can't be serious.

I've never been seriouser.

Cheyenne, I care about you.

And I hate to see you feeling bad.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to stop vomiting.

If I could control it,
I'd do it on you right now.

Okay. All right, here's the game plan.
Friday, we're going to your dad's.

Get you up and out of here
with a new, winning attitude.

It's now or never, move it
or lose it, take no prisoners,

- go Team Montgomery!
- Stop that.

Okay.

[Reba] Drop it.

You're good.

Honey, that's for Jake's
sleepover tonight.

See, I'm gonna fill the flower pot
with cookies and chocolate ice cream,

and then I'm gonna use
the gummy worms as garnish.

Isn't that cute?

Mom, they're seven-year-old boys.
They play "pop my snot bubble."

Oh, gross! They do not.

Do they?

Mom, guess what Robbie and I are doing!

I don't wanna think about it.
And go wash your hands.

We're having a campout
at his house tonight.

Wait a minute.

I thought Robbie was coming over
to our house for a sleepover tonight.

I want to go to Robbie's.
They've got a tent and everything.

- Are you sure it's tonight?
- Yeah. Can I go?

I have to talk to Robbie's mom first.

I'm just gonna run down the street.

Oh, don't let your sister eat
any more of that candy.

[Jake] Gotcha.

[doorbell rings]

- Reba.
- Hey.

Hi. Uh, come on in.

I was just, uh, baking some
animal cookies for the boys' campout.

Oatmeal raisin rhino?

No, thanks.
Rhinos go straight to the hips.

Hey, I... I thought the boys
were supposed to come over to my house

for a sleepover tonight.

Oh, shoot. Was that tonight?

Yeah, that's what I meant
when I said, "See ya Friday."

Is today Friday? Oh, I'm such a ditz.

But, you know, the tent's up,
and the boys are so excited.

So why don't we just have
your sleepover another night?

Okay. When?

When? Uh, let me check my calendar.

Caroline, I'm getting the feeling you
don't want Robbie over at my house.

I can't believe this.
I thought we were friends.

Maybe I'm being overprotective,

but there are...
things going on at your house.

What... what kind of things
do you think are goin' on?

I mean, I'm there.
Nobody's running around naked.

There's no teenage orgy
out in my front yard.

I do have a pair of frisky squirrels,
but I told the boys they're just dancing.

What would you do in my position?

For starters, I would've talked to you

instead of planning a sneaky campout.

And I wouldn't have avoided you
just because your daughter

and your husband's mistress
were both pregnant.

Brock's mistress is pregnant?

Yeah, you think you were stunned.

Things change. Hourly.

I'm just learning to go with the flow.

Well, I'm sorry,

but I'm just not comfortable
with Robbie being at your house.

But Jake is welcome here anytime.

I don't think so.

Suddenly I'm not comfortable
with Jake being at your house.

[sighs]

I'm ready for my campout.

Do you know where my binoculars are?

Oh, Jake. Honey,
you're not gonna need your binoculars.

Yes, I will.

We like to look at the bugs up close
before we smash them.

Honey, there's not gonna be a campout
at Robbie's house tonight.

Is Robbie coming over here?

- No.
- Why?

You know what?

It doesn't matter

'cause you and I are gonna
have our own bigger and better campout.

It's gonna be a blast.

Camping inside's dumb. There's no bugs.

Some people would see that as a plus.

Hey, come on.

Let's warm our hands by the old campfire.

That's a flashlight.

With a very hot bulb.

Wanna sing some campfire songs?

♪ Oh, give me a home
Where the buffalo roam ♪

Join in anytime.

- ♪ Where the deer-- ♪
- Mom.

- What?
- Singing is lame.

Sorry. Well, then,
what do you and Robbie like to do?

We like to pee in the yard.

No wonder my begonias are wilting.

I think I know why Robbie
didn't come over tonight.

You do?

We don't have a pool.

Oh. Yeah, pools are a big draw.

But we've got the marshmallows

and the smell of the great outdoors.

Mom, I know you're having fun,
but can I watch TV instead?

I know this would be more fun
for you if I were seven.

And not my mom.

Can I go to Robbie's tomorrow night?

- Is it too late to go pee out in the yard?
- Mom.

- Doesn't Cheyenne look nice tonight?
- Very nice.

Yes. I feel pretty.

You're gonna love these jalapeno poppers.

Oh, I'd eat a shoe if it was deep fried
and stuffed with cheese.

Cheyenne, would you care
for a popper from your papa?

[laughs]

No, thank you.

Cheyenne's saving room
for my famous tuna casserole.

Three kinds of tuna
and two brands of potato chips.

Can we talk about something
other than food, please?

Oh, Cheyenne, come in the kitchen
and let me show you my new Texas ice tray.

Come see. I'm thinking of getting
one from every state

and making an ice sculpture of America.

[chuckling]

Honey, you've got to perk up.

You're bringing my party down.

Well, uh, I'm sorry.
It's hard to be the life of the party

when all you feel like doing is vomiting.

Hey, I'm doin' it.

You're sick?

Sicker than a cat
with a five-pound fur ball.

Wait. What do you mean you're sick?

I just saw you put away
six jalapeno poppers.

"Put away" is the operative word.

[giggles]

Voila.

Oh, my God. You filthy liar.

I know. And it's so easy.

I get up an hour before Brock,
so he doesn't see my tummy trouble.

And if I feel indisposed,
I make some excuse to step away.

Last weekend, I threw up
in your mother's begonias.

B.J., that's crazy.
Why would you do all that?

To keep my man happy, of course.

Well, why should they be happy
while we're miserable?

Because that's our job.
Cheyenne, honey, come here.

Look at your man out there.

He's happy because he thinks you're happy.

Now, why do you wanna go
and spoil that with the truth?

- Well, he does look happy.
- You're darn right he does.

Now let's get out there
and do what we women do best,

fake it.

[doorbell rings]

Reba, uh--

I take it back. Jake can come over here.

Wait a minute.

Please don't make me say all that again.

I've been standing
on your porch for ten minutes

trying to get up the courage
to say what I just said.

Well, I'm just happy
that you understand my side.

I didn't say that.

But I'm willing to set my feelings aside

because I think our boys
have a nice little friendship,

and I don't wanna see it ruined over
something they had nothing to do with.

Reba, do you wanna come inside
and we can talk?

Nope.

Had my fill of crow tonight,

and, frankly, don't like the taste of it.

I don't know what to say.

I wish you'd said you trusted me.

But since that's not gonna happen,

I gotta go home and get ready
for my weekly orgy.

You oughta see the cookies I bake.

[B.J.] Ready for dessert?

Yeah, hold on.
Let me get this tuna out of my pocket.

You did great out there. I'm very proud.

B.J., I can't do this anymore.

You don't have to.

A couple of cookies tossed over
your shoulder, and it's small talk time.

Are we leaving?

Your dad's taking us out for dessert.

I know a place that serves the best
coconut cream pie in town.

That sounds great.

Right, Cheyenne?

No.

- What's wrong, honey?
- Nothing's wrong.

She's fine.

No, I'm not fine. I am sick.

Well, what happened?
You were doing so good.

- So good.
- No, I wasn't.

And I am sorry, B.J.,
but I cannot fake it as well as you can.

Okay, what are we talking about here?

Nothin', honey. Let's get that pie.

What happened to Team Montgomery,
goin' strong?

Well, it's not. And I'm sorry
if that makes you unhappy,

but I can't lie anymore.

- I never told you to lie.
- You told me to shake it off.

- Because I wanted you to be happy.
- Well, I'm not happy.

And the only reason I was trying
to be happy was to make you happy.

But I was only happy
because you were happy.

But if you were faking happy,
then I... I was faking happy too.

I've been lyin' to myself.

Cheyenne,

I just hate seeing you this way
when I can't do anything about it.

It's scary.

Well, I'm scared too.

So, you've been feeling sick too?

[mouths inaudibly]

You've been lying about it
this whole time just to make me happy?

[mouthing]

That's my girl.

Kyra, let me ask you somethin'.

With everything that's
been going on in our house,

do people treat you differently?

Definitely. At school the word's out

that you let teenagers
sleep together in the house.

All of a sudden, I'm popular.

I was actually worried
about your self-esteem.

But thank you very much
for another sleepless night.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How was the dinner?

Ooh, B.J. made her famous tuna casserole.

Oh, Barbra Jean's casserole. Good Lord!

Go upstairs and lie down.
I'll go get some cold towels.

Not necessary. I'll do it.

Cheyenne and I are in this together.

Well, good for you.

Yeah, once we get over
this morning sickness thing,

the worst is over.

It's time you showed him the pictures.

[doorbell rings]

Well, if you've got any of that crow left,
I'll take a big helping.

Come on in.

Hey, Robbie, Jake's upstairs.

Maybe I did overreact.

Those squirrels do
look like they're dancin'.

So, you wanna stay around
and help me chaperone?

That's okay. I trust you.

Thanks.

[Van] I am never having sex again!

I'm on it.

[closing theme music playing]