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1
00:00:05,317 --> 00:00:06,972
Want some coffee?
2
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:08,270
You know, like, a half a cup.
3
00:00:48,338 --> 00:00:49,796
How long have you
been waiting with that?
4
00:00:49,820 --> 00:00:50,820
A little while.
5
00:01:03,955 --> 00:01:05,954
♪ Tell me why
6
00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:08,470
♪ I love you like I do
7
00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:10,366
♪ Tell me who
8
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,503
♪ Can start my
heart as much as you
9
00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,227
♪ Tell me all your secrets
10
00:01:15,365 --> 00:01:17,536
♪ I'll tell you most of mine
11
00:01:17,674 --> 00:01:19,157
♪ They say nobody's perfect
12
00:01:19,294 --> 00:01:21,845
♪ Well, that's
really true this time
13
00:01:21,983 --> 00:01:24,155
♪ 'Cause I don't
have the answers
14
00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,051
♪ I don't have a plan
15
00:01:26,188 --> 00:01:27,739
♪ All I have is you
16
00:01:27,878 --> 00:01:30,015
♪ So, baby, help me understand
17
00:01:30,153 --> 00:01:31,807
♪ What we do
18
00:01:31,946 --> 00:01:33,945
♪ You can whisper in my ear
19
00:01:34,083 --> 00:01:36,014
♪ Where we go
20
00:01:36,151 --> 00:01:38,667
♪ Who knows what
happens after here?
21
00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:40,735
♪ Let's take each other's hand
22
00:01:40,874 --> 00:01:44,287
♪ And jump into
the final frontier
23
00:01:46,251 --> 00:01:48,388
♪ The final frontier ♪
24
00:01:51,525 --> 00:01:53,560
All right, Mabel, this is funny.
25
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,880
This is gonna get
a laugh outta you.
26
00:01:54,904 --> 00:01:55,904
There's a laugh in there,
27
00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:57,283
and I'm gonna get it.
28
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,016
This is the funniest
thing you ever-you ready?
29
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,040
Here it is.
30
00:02:06,073 --> 00:02:07,073
Don't do that!
31
00:02:07,142 --> 00:02:08,142
Don't ever do that again.
32
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,210
It's physical comedy.
33
00:02:09,279 --> 00:02:10,279
Mabel,
34
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:11,934
Who's ticklish?
35
00:02:12,623 --> 00:02:14,449
Who's, Ticklish?
36
00:02:14,587 --> 00:02:17,173
Who's the most
ticklish girl in the world?
37
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:19,000
Who's very, very ticklish?
38
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,000
Who-
39
00:02:21,069 --> 00:02:22,069
Why isn't she laughing?
40
00:02:22,137 --> 00:02:23,653
Some babies are
not so much ticklish.
41
00:02:23,791 --> 00:02:25,584
That's okay. We got
other funny things.
42
00:02:25,722 --> 00:02:27,480
This is funny. Watch.
43
00:02:27,618 --> 00:02:28,824
Daddy's wavin' good-bye.
44
00:02:28,962 --> 00:02:30,479
He's sayin', "Bye, Mabel."
45
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,898
He's walkin' away, but, he's
not lookin' where he's goin'.
46
00:02:32,927 --> 00:02:35,478
There's a chair! Whoa! Ow!
47
00:02:35,616 --> 00:02:37,235
Oh! Are you all right?
48
00:02:37,373 --> 00:02:38,408
Is she laughin'?
49
00:02:38,546 --> 00:02:39,546
No.
50
00:02:39,648 --> 00:02:40,821
We should go. Then, ow!
51
00:02:41,096 --> 00:02:42,096
Ow!
52
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:43,165
Aren't you late?
53
00:02:43,303 --> 00:02:45,061
Ow! Yeah, but, you know what?
54
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,543
That's all right. I don't care.
55
00:02:46,681 --> 00:02:49,542
I'm finding it very hard to get
excited about this job today.
56
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,818
Honey, it's a documentary.
57
00:02:50,956 --> 00:02:52,266
Just, Barely.
58
00:02:52,404 --> 00:02:54,781
The Making of the
Making of Titanic.
59
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,023
So? Big hit film.
60
00:02:56,161 --> 00:02:58,608
Yeah, but, it's so parasitic.
61
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,386
I'm not even glommin'
off a big hit movie.
62
00:03:00,435 --> 00:03:01,779
I'm glomming off the gloom.
63
00:03:01,918 --> 00:03:03,365
So, you're taking
her this morning,
64
00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:05,100
and Ira's gonna meet you
there to help you watch her?
65
00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:07,950
Yeah, I got you,
then I lose Ira at 1:00,
66
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,847
so I'll let the crew
eat lunch at 1:00.
67
00:03:09,985 --> 00:03:11,363
When Ira goes, I'll take a cab.
68
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:12,781
I'll drop the baby off with you.
69
00:03:12,846 --> 00:03:14,407
Then, I don't know, I'll
grab a hot dog or somethin'
70
00:03:14,431 --> 00:03:15,603
on the way back in the cab,
71
00:03:15,741 --> 00:03:17,844
And then I'll be nauseous
all the way to Brooklyn.
72
00:03:17,982 --> 00:03:19,326
Okay.
73
00:03:19,464 --> 00:03:21,153
That works out well
for you, does it? Yeah.
74
00:03:21,877 --> 00:03:23,152
All right. Here we go.
75
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,325
Honey, we can do this
easily and gracefully.
76
00:03:25,462 --> 00:03:26,462
Ow!
77
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:27,910
Honey, it doesn't
make her laugh.
78
00:03:28,048 --> 00:03:29,564
I know. I'm saying,
literally, "ow!"
79
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,978
Mabel, listen to this.
80
00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:34,804
A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer,
81
00:03:34,942 --> 00:03:36,182
They're in a lifeboat. Sweetie?
82
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,217
I'm trying something.
83
00:03:43,664 --> 00:03:44,664
Okay.
84
00:03:46,387 --> 00:03:49,007
Okay, so, um, when
you made your film,
85
00:03:49,144 --> 00:03:50,248
The making of Titanic,
86
00:03:50,386 --> 00:03:52,212
you interviewed James
Cameron, the director,
87
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:53,350
didn't you?
88
00:03:53,385 --> 00:03:54,385
Uh, yeah.
89
00:03:55,074 --> 00:03:56,074
What was that like?
90
00:03:56,108 --> 00:03:57,108
Oh, it was great.
91
00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:02,658
Okay. Uh, Did-did
he have stories?
92
00:04:02,796 --> 00:04:04,322
Did he have any stories
that he shared with you?
93
00:04:04,346 --> 00:04:08,276
Oh, yeah. He told this
great story about how, um,
94
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:09,897
one night the boat,
95
00:04:10,035 --> 00:04:13,344
they couldn't get the,
uh, uh, the model boat
96
00:04:13,482 --> 00:04:16,102
to, like, sit in
the water right.
97
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:17,791
I guess.
98
00:04:17,929 --> 00:04:20,894
So they put, um, they
had to put, like, uh,
99
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,100
an orange on the side of it.
100
00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:27,512
Or, something-I'm not
sure exactly what they did.
101
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:30,338
But, it was a great story.
102
00:04:30,476 --> 00:04:32,200
It's in Making of the Titanic.
103
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,992
Okay. So, So your film came
out pretty good then, huh?
104
00:04:35,372 --> 00:04:36,372
Yeah.
105
00:04:38,129 --> 00:04:39,302
Shh... Shh, PAUL: Hey! Hey!
106
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,200
Could you, like, maybe
get her to cry louder?
107
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,438
Yeah, she can cry louder.
108
00:04:44,748 --> 00:04:47,609
You know what?
Let's cut, all right?
109
00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:50,298
♪ Hush, little
baby, don't you cry
110
00:04:50,436 --> 00:04:53,400
♪ Or, Ira's gonna
gouge out his own eye
111
00:04:53,538 --> 00:04:55,031
Spend a lot of time
around kids, do you?
112
00:04:55,055 --> 00:04:56,917
Hey, I could spend less.
113
00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:58,951
Okay. I know what. You
need somethin' funny.
114
00:04:59,089 --> 00:05:00,689
You need to laugh.
You ready? Watch this.
115
00:05:03,673 --> 00:05:04,673
What is that?
116
00:05:04,741 --> 00:05:06,362
That's Popeye!
117
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,441
Okay, I will gladly pay you
Tuesday to stop doing that today.
118
00:05:08,465 --> 00:05:11,326
Okay. Just go to uncle
Ira, and I'll get you a juice.
119
00:05:11,464 --> 00:05:13,085
You could take a
nap, by the way.
120
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,186
Excuse me.
121
00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:19,979
Do you, by any chance,
have any shrimp?
122
00:05:20,358 --> 00:05:21,358
What?
123
00:05:21,461 --> 00:05:22,941
Shrimp. Do you have
any shrimp on you?
124
00:05:24,081 --> 00:05:25,081
Sadly, no.
125
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,218
Aw, shoot. Darn!
126
00:05:27,356 --> 00:05:28,562
You know, i brought the basil
127
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:31,424
for the shrimp creole
for the catering table,
128
00:05:31,561 --> 00:05:32,941
and then I brought the onion,
129
00:05:33,078 --> 00:05:35,456
and I got the salt and the white
pepper and the black pepper
130
00:05:35,594 --> 00:05:37,180
and the cayenne
pepper and the oregano,
131
00:05:37,318 --> 00:05:39,421
And I got the celery rib and-
132
00:05:39,559 --> 00:05:40,599
Got the celery rib, do ya?
133
00:05:40,696 --> 00:05:42,489
Oh, yeah, got the
celery rib. Good.
134
00:05:42,627 --> 00:05:44,591
And I got the olive oil
and the cloves. And, uh,
135
00:05:44,729 --> 00:05:47,246
I have everything
except for, uh-
136
00:05:47,384 --> 00:05:48,532
Do you want to guess? Shrimp?
137
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:49,694
Yes. Yes.
138
00:05:49,831 --> 00:05:51,471
Okay. You know what?
Excuse me one second.
139
00:05:51,555 --> 00:05:52,658
I'm kinda busy-
140
00:05:52,797 --> 00:05:54,210
Do you have any thoughts? What?
141
00:05:54,348 --> 00:05:57,622
Because I have the, um, I
have the creole sauce made,
142
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,173
so I have to make
something creole,
143
00:05:59,311 --> 00:06:01,690
and I'm wondering what-what
are you in the mood for?
144
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,793
Creole doughnuts
or, creole Clark bars
145
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,102
Or, creole cap'n crunch-which,
he was, by the way.
146
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,274
He was what? Creole.
147
00:06:08,412 --> 00:06:10,377
He was a cap'n-creole.
Cap'n crunch.
148
00:06:10,514 --> 00:06:11,514
Cap'n crunch the man?
149
00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:12,583
He was a creole.
150
00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:14,375
Um-um-I'm sorry.
What is your name?
151
00:06:14,513 --> 00:06:15,513
Nancy.
152
00:06:15,582 --> 00:06:16,650
Nancy. Okay, forgive me,
153
00:06:16,789 --> 00:06:18,281
But, a-i have to go take
care of my daughter,
154
00:06:18,305 --> 00:06:19,649
And two-who-Who are you?
155
00:06:19,788 --> 00:06:23,304
Oh, "c" or, three-I
mean, who are you
156
00:06:23,441 --> 00:06:25,041
to bring a baby on
the sound stage, then?
157
00:06:25,683 --> 00:06:28,095
D- I'm the director.
158
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:30,957
Oh, E-gads, that's a good baby.
159
00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:34,576
That's a beautiful baby.
160
00:06:34,714 --> 00:06:35,834
Isn't that a beautiful baby?
161
00:06:35,921 --> 00:06:37,241
You don't have to
say that. Thank you.
162
00:06:37,265 --> 00:06:38,851
That's a-oh, my.
163
00:06:38,989 --> 00:06:41,149
I was suckin' up before,
but, that is a beautiful baby.
164
00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:43,573
That is a-Hello.
165
00:06:43,711 --> 00:06:45,814
Now, look, I'll tell
you why you're crying.
166
00:06:45,952 --> 00:06:49,020
'Cause you're two feet tall, and
you type, like, zero words a minute,
167
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:52,708
and you're wearing a leisure
suit covered in ducks, apparently.
168
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:53,985
Let it out. Go on.
169
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,706
Okay, how do you do that?
170
00:06:58,845 --> 00:07:00,120
Oldest of 11 kids.
171
00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:01,258
Really?
172
00:07:01,327 --> 00:07:02,740
Susie, Raymond, Michael,
173
00:07:02,878 --> 00:07:04,015
Okay.
174
00:07:04,153 --> 00:07:06,704
Tierney, Tiffany, Tammy,
Kerry, Patsy, Pablo-
175
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,531
They were in Italy
for Pablo. Yes.
176
00:07:08,669 --> 00:07:09,989
Okay. You know
what? And Jennifer.
177
00:07:10,082 --> 00:07:11,702
What's that? The
last one-Jennifer.
178
00:07:11,841 --> 00:07:12,979
Okay. Good. Uh-
179
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,874
Okay. Well-
180
00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,885
All right, everybody. Let's
shoot some film, shall we?
181
00:07:16,909 --> 00:07:17,909
Rolling.
182
00:07:20,252 --> 00:07:21,838
Fire!
183
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:28,421
I got it. It's okay.
184
00:07:28,559 --> 00:07:29,905
Why don't we just take a break.
185
00:07:33,489 --> 00:07:35,292
Uh, Mr. Carville, don't you want
to come out of there now, sir?
186
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:37,729
I'm sure the stapler just
slipped out of your wife-
187
00:07:37,867 --> 00:07:39,556
Um, Ms. Matalin's hands.
188
00:07:39,694 --> 00:07:40,694
Shut up, Henry!
189
00:07:40,797 --> 00:07:41,901
Okay.
190
00:07:42,039 --> 00:07:43,692
God, don't tell me
they're fighting again.
191
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,865
Well, she missed him,
if that's any-Ms. Matalin!
192
00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:47,451
Won't you please
tell Mr. Carville
193
00:07:47,588 --> 00:07:49,668
that you know that staplers
are sharp and heavy items
194
00:07:49,726 --> 00:07:52,345
and it's bad to throw them at
your life and business partner?
195
00:07:52,483 --> 00:07:53,793
Never!
196
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:57,379
Okay. Can you
imagine? I have a PhD.
197
00:07:57,516 --> 00:07:58,723
Mr. Carville?
198
00:07:58,861 --> 00:08:00,343
Shut up, Henry!
199
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,618
The pressure on these
people is unbelievable.
200
00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:04,115
I don't know how
they-Ms. Matalin!
201
00:08:04,239 --> 00:08:05,548
Shut up, Henry!
202
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,893
Okay! All right! Very well.
203
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:13,960
Why don't we begin by going over
both of your schedules this morning?
204
00:08:14,098 --> 00:08:15,818
- Shut up, Henry!
- Shut up, Henry!
205
00:08:15,855 --> 00:08:17,821
Okay. All right.
206
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:20,234
Okay.
207
00:08:20,889 --> 00:08:22,095
Henry, are you all right?
208
00:08:23,129 --> 00:08:24,990
Oh, hi, Jamie!
When did you get in?
209
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:26,439
Henry?
210
00:08:26,576 --> 00:08:28,645
You know, Jamie, i
just realized something.
211
00:08:28,782 --> 00:08:29,782
What's that?
212
00:08:29,851 --> 00:08:32,264
Well, it's-it's the
craziest thing.
213
00:08:32,402 --> 00:08:33,402
What?
214
00:08:33,505 --> 00:08:35,332
Really just the damnedest thing.
215
00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:37,228
Well, Jamie, just this minute,
216
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:40,090
I ran out of, Nice.
217
00:08:40,779 --> 00:08:41,813
I don't understand.
218
00:08:41,951 --> 00:08:43,571
I ran out of nice.
219
00:08:43,709 --> 00:08:46,673
Just now, I have no, Nice.
220
00:08:46,812 --> 00:08:48,121
Not for these people.
221
00:08:48,259 --> 00:08:49,569
You did not run out of nice.
222
00:08:49,707 --> 00:08:51,327
You're the nicest
man in the world.
223
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:53,948
I'm out of nice! Believe me!
224
00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:55,774
Okay.
225
00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,325
You know, maybe I should get-
226
00:08:57,463 --> 00:08:59,600
What is it? Well, hold on!
227
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,738
Pentagon on line three!
Anyone give a crap?
228
00:09:03,738 --> 00:09:06,047
Back off! You look
absurd in that sweater!
229
00:09:06,185 --> 00:09:07,322
What are you laughing at?
230
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,908
Your wife is sleeping with him!
231
00:09:09,701 --> 00:09:11,804
Ooh. Ooh. Did I
come at a bad time?
232
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,218
Bite me!
233
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,596
All right, sir.
234
00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:15,941
What's the matter with him?
235
00:09:16,079 --> 00:09:17,079
He's out of nice.
236
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,181
Aw, that's a shame.
237
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,904
Yeah. Why are you wet?
238
00:09:21,042 --> 00:09:23,421
I-would you please
take our daughter?
239
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,834
Oh, no, sweetie!
Any day but, today.
240
00:09:25,972 --> 00:09:27,568
As you can see, we're
having a total meltdown.
241
00:09:27,592 --> 00:09:28,764
No, no, no! Come on.
242
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,739
But, you promised-why
do i still have the baby here?
243
00:09:30,763 --> 00:09:33,418
So sorry. I will take her
any day other than today.
244
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:35,980
Sweetie, this is the perfect example of the
type of day when I need you to take her!
245
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:37,037
Okay. Thanks.
246
00:09:37,175 --> 00:09:38,796
Mabel, Mabel.
247
00:09:38,934 --> 00:09:40,071
Peekaboo!
248
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:41,288
I'm just gonna make her laugh.
249
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:43,070
Where's Mabel? Where'd Mabel go?
250
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,208
There she is!
251
00:09:44,346 --> 00:09:45,346
She knows where she is.
252
00:09:45,414 --> 00:09:46,793
Where's Mabel? I
don't understand.
253
00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:47,976
Don't you know where you are?
254
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,447
Peekaboo-all right, forget it.
255
00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:51,515
This is not a good
situation that we have here.
256
00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:52,653
Really? I know.
257
00:09:52,723 --> 00:09:54,791
You're harried,
and I'm squishin'.
258
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:56,628
All right, squishy,
we'll talk about it later.
259
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:57,973
Promise me we're gonna
talk about this tonight.
260
00:09:57,997 --> 00:09:59,582
I promise you.
261
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,616
No, no, no! No, no, no!
262
00:10:01,754 --> 00:10:03,409
The stairs! The stairs!
263
00:10:03,546 --> 00:10:04,822
Why did you have to kiss me?
264
00:10:09,269 --> 00:10:11,096
Oh, god! Oh, god!
265
00:10:12,716 --> 00:10:13,750
Okay, alright.
266
00:10:13,888 --> 00:10:15,543
Oh, god! Oh, god!
267
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,300
I'll check this floor.
You keep going.
268
00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:18,715
You got the momentum.
269
00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:24,092
Okay. Outta the way.
270
00:10:24,229 --> 00:10:26,126
Outta the way. Outta
the way. Here I come.
271
00:10:26,264 --> 00:10:27,377
It stopped on the
next floor down.
272
00:10:27,401 --> 00:10:28,653
Oh, man, what did
people do before elevators
273
00:10:28,677 --> 00:10:30,503
When they lost their
kid in an elevator?
274
00:10:38,432 --> 00:10:39,432
Hi, Sweetie!
275
00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:41,776
Are you okay? Are you all right?
276
00:10:41,914 --> 00:10:42,914
She's all right.
277
00:10:42,983 --> 00:10:44,844
Oh, god! You all right?
278
00:10:44,982 --> 00:10:46,258
I'm all right.
279
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,464
Am I all right?
You're all right.
280
00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:50,256
So you're sayin'
everybody's all right.
281
00:10:50,394 --> 00:10:52,083
It's okay, sweetie.
Daddy's very sorry.
282
00:10:52,221 --> 00:10:53,221
Hey!
283
00:10:53,358 --> 00:10:54,841
We're both very sorry.
284
00:11:00,873 --> 00:11:04,734
Okay, everybody, I am
back. Sorry for the delay.
285
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,159
Here we-oh, hey.
How are you doin'?
286
00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:07,630
Hi! Hey, how are you?
287
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,113
I'm fine. I'm fired, actually.
288
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,629
But, I'm fine. How are you?
289
00:11:10,768 --> 00:11:12,008
What do you mean, you're fired?
290
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,501
Yeah. The guy from the
studio, he came down,
291
00:11:13,525 --> 00:11:15,145
And he told me he
was gonna let me go.
292
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,075
He let me go-that's
a euphemism, isn't it?
293
00:11:17,213 --> 00:11:18,258
Like I'm trying to go somewhere
294
00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:19,430
And like I'm trying
to rip myself away,
295
00:11:19,454 --> 00:11:21,385
When, in fact, what
they're saying is go
296
00:11:21,522 --> 00:11:23,532
and don't let the creole hit
you in the ass on the way out,
297
00:11:23,556 --> 00:11:24,773
and the next time
a director asks you
298
00:11:24,797 --> 00:11:26,462
to take care of his baby
because he's unable to,
299
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,886
don't forget to
turn the burner off.
300
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:31,278
Oh! I-I feel
terrible about that!
301
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,967
Don't you worry about a thing.
302
00:11:33,105 --> 00:11:35,425
I don't even know why I
wanted this job in the first place.
303
00:11:35,483 --> 00:11:38,069
I didn't even really like
the job-oh, that's right.
304
00:11:38,207 --> 00:11:39,367
The money, I needed the money
305
00:11:40,068 --> 00:11:41,999
to pay rent and
to live and to eat,
306
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:45,377
But, other than that, I don't
think I really needed it, but, thanks.
307
00:11:45,515 --> 00:11:47,377
I'm so sorry that happened.
308
00:11:47,514 --> 00:11:48,894
Don't worry about it.
309
00:11:49,031 --> 00:11:50,110
Hey, I have some leftovers.
Do you want anything?
310
00:11:50,134 --> 00:11:52,686
I have, like, smoked
almonds or, Snapple,
311
00:11:52,824 --> 00:11:53,868
Or, spray cheese,
anything like that?
312
00:11:53,892 --> 00:11:55,236
Really, not. I'm so sorry.
313
00:11:55,374 --> 00:11:57,649
Creamer? Tic tacs?
No? Nothing? Eggs?
314
00:11:57,787 --> 00:12:00,407
No, really. I wish
you the best of luck.
315
00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:01,624
If you ever need a reference-
316
00:12:01,648 --> 00:12:02,648
Fiddle faddle?
317
00:12:02,752 --> 00:12:04,958
No. I couldn't be more sorry.
318
00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:07,957
Mr. Buchman, I do have
that periodontal appointment.
319
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,095
Yes, okay.
320
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:11,541
Again, I am so, so, so sorry.
321
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:16,057
Okay, sweetie, let's Mabel and
daddy go make a documentary
322
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,988
So sorry that happened to you.
323
00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:20,987
All right, everybody, back
to position. Let's roll cameras
324
00:12:21,124 --> 00:12:23,434
All right. Sorry for the delay.
325
00:12:23,572 --> 00:12:24,932
It's just been a
little crazy here.
326
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,123
We're shorthanded, so I,
327
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:30,984
Okay. So, you were
the editor of the film,
328
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:32,742
The making of Titanic.
329
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,706
Without which, our film, The
Making of the Making of Titanic,
330
00:12:36,844 --> 00:12:38,533
Would just be the
making of Titanic,
331
00:12:38,672 --> 00:12:40,592
And I'd feel just a little
less stupid right now.
332
00:12:41,498 --> 00:12:42,980
It's very nice to be here.
333
00:12:43,118 --> 00:12:46,014
Good. Now, I understand you
have some outtakes that you
334
00:12:46,152 --> 00:12:48,702
of actual film with James
Cameron the director
335
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,574
That you chose not to use
in The making of Titanic.
336
00:12:50,598 --> 00:12:51,598
Yes.
337
00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:53,701
Well, that's pretty
exciting, huh?
338
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:54,839
Yes.
339
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,320
Let's take a look.
340
00:13:22,588 --> 00:13:23,588
What the hell is this?
341
00:13:33,999 --> 00:13:37,067
Aaah! Aaah! Aah!
342
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:38,860
Wowie.
343
00:13:38,963 --> 00:13:40,859
You know, we shot
some much better stuff.
344
00:13:40,997 --> 00:13:41,997
Well, let's see that.
345
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,754
We used it already.
346
00:13:43,892 --> 00:13:45,616
It's in the making of Titanic.
347
00:13:45,754 --> 00:13:47,029
You used the good stuff, sure.
348
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,167
Here's something.
349
00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:49,684
So, my very first idea,
350
00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:51,338
the initial
conception of the film,
351
00:13:51,476 --> 00:13:52,545
Was to use footage-Jim?
352
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:54,554
Sorry. We're ordering
lunch. What would you like?
353
00:13:54,578 --> 00:13:56,716
Yeah, Um,
354
00:13:57,681 --> 00:13:59,036
You know? I'll have
the chopped salad.
355
00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,060
Okay.
356
00:14:00,198 --> 00:14:01,507
No. You know what?
357
00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:03,990
Maybe a sandwich.
358
00:14:04,128 --> 00:14:05,851
I'm gonna do the tuna
sandwich, no mayo.
359
00:14:05,989 --> 00:14:07,058
Okay. Great.
360
00:14:07,196 --> 00:14:08,644
No. You know what?
You know what?
361
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:10,470
Let's go back. Chopped salad.
362
00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:12,849
If they have tomatoes,
that would be great.
363
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,711
Oh, okay. Shh, shh, shh.
364
00:14:15,848 --> 00:14:17,468
Uh, the other actors-
365
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,536
you get any little pieces
of Leonardo or, Kate or,
366
00:14:20,674 --> 00:14:22,260
Even Billy Zane,
I would take that.
367
00:14:22,398 --> 00:14:25,190
No, um, but, h-here's something.
368
00:14:25,328 --> 00:14:27,603
And what about that
part when he goes,
369
00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:28,913
"Shagilicious, baby".
370
00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:31,326
What was it-"yeah,
baby, shagilicious."
371
00:14:31,464 --> 00:14:33,912
That was great.
I love that part.
372
00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:40,048
You chose not to use this
in your film, you're saying.
373
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:42,288
We didn't think America
would be interested.
374
00:14:43,702 --> 00:14:45,046
Watch me put it to good use.
375
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:49,079
Okay. Shh, shh, shh. All right.
376
00:14:49,217 --> 00:14:50,700
You know what?
Let's just cut, gang.
377
00:14:50,838 --> 00:14:52,182
Okay, all right.
378
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:53,491
May I?
379
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,664
Huh? Yeah, please.
380
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:57,387
Hey. Hello, little lady.
381
00:14:57,525 --> 00:14:59,111
Do you know what you were doing?
382
00:14:59,249 --> 00:15:02,523
You were single-handedly ruining
383
00:15:02,661 --> 00:15:04,557
The making of the
making of Titanic.
384
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,349
Now, you keep causing
a scandal like that,
385
00:15:06,487 --> 00:15:08,108
they're gonna have to make
386
00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:10,210
The making of the making
of the making of Titanic.
387
00:15:10,348 --> 00:15:12,554
You don't want to be
responsible for that, do you?
388
00:15:13,072 --> 00:15:14,933
No, you don't.
389
00:15:15,071 --> 00:15:18,208
That's, I'm taking
you home with me.
390
00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:19,346
Excuse me?
391
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,897
I got a proposition for you.
392
00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:22,482
Excuse me? No!
All good! All good!
393
00:15:26,654 --> 00:15:28,377
Just don't use the word "nanny."
394
00:15:28,515 --> 00:15:29,515
No! Okay.
395
00:15:29,619 --> 00:15:30,697
Yeah, 'cause when
you think of a nanny,
396
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,238
you think of an old
Ukrainian woman
397
00:15:32,376 --> 00:15:34,800
who wears her hair in a bun and
hasn't had a bath since thanksgiving.
398
00:15:34,824 --> 00:15:35,824
Sure.
399
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:36,893
Russian thanksgiving,
400
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:39,030
Which is in, Well,
a long time ago.
401
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,270
Yeah, okay. Forget that.
402
00:15:40,408 --> 00:15:41,970
Either that, or, you
think of Mary Poppins.
403
00:15:41,994 --> 00:15:43,383
Is that what you're looking
for, like, a Mary Poppins.
404
00:15:43,407 --> 00:15:44,510
No, not at all!
405
00:15:44,648 --> 00:15:46,303
I kind of wanted
to be Mary Poppins.
406
00:15:46,441 --> 00:15:47,992
Then you can! You
can be Mary Poppins.
407
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:49,174
We'll get you a
nice, big umbrella.
408
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,542
You can stand on a fake roof
409
00:15:50,681 --> 00:15:51,967
and sing with dick van
Dyke. Would you like that?
410
00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:54,472
Whatever you do,
just keep doing that.
411
00:15:54,611 --> 00:15:55,714
What?
412
00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:58,162
Just, Taking care of
my daughter like that.
413
00:15:58,299 --> 00:16:00,885
Oh-you know, I
am a chef by trade.
414
00:16:01,023 --> 00:16:02,229
Yes. No. Of course you are!
415
00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:05,055
Yeah. I mean, I was a
star at the culinary institute.
416
00:16:05,193 --> 00:16:06,193
No. I know that.
417
00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:07,779
Until I made gumbo one day,
418
00:16:07,917 --> 00:16:09,877
and I blew the porch off
the back of the building.
419
00:16:10,744 --> 00:16:12,846
They told me that I
had genius in my ladle.
420
00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:16,683
And I'll betcha
they meant it, too.
421
00:16:16,707 --> 00:16:18,018
Although, I am broke.
422
00:16:18,155 --> 00:16:19,155
Sure.
423
00:16:19,258 --> 00:16:20,440
Yeah, 'cause I got
fired from that job
424
00:16:20,464 --> 00:16:22,292
working on the film,
where I was getting paid.
425
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,085
Yes. I was there. I remember.
426
00:16:24,222 --> 00:16:27,255
And she is the most adorable
child I've ever seen in my life.
427
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,093
Oh! Could you take
her in the bedroom?
428
00:16:30,117 --> 00:16:32,771
Sure. And look
at her little tongue.
429
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,126
Take the little tongue into
the bedroom. The fingernails!
430
00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:36,012
In the bedroom. The ears!
431
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:37,494
Take the ears in the bedroom-
432
00:16:38,218 --> 00:16:39,252
Hi. Hi!
433
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:40,503
How was the rest of your day?
434
00:16:40,527 --> 00:16:42,286
Well, Henry
Vincent finally called.
435
00:16:42,424 --> 00:16:43,424
That's good!
436
00:16:43,492 --> 00:16:44,905
Yeah. From Juarez, Mexico.
437
00:16:45,043 --> 00:16:46,112
That's not good.
438
00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:47,595
And how was the rest
439
00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:49,260
of the Making of the
Making of the Making,
440
00:16:49,284 --> 00:16:51,490
Shouldn't be making
it, I'll tell ya that.
441
00:16:51,628 --> 00:16:53,800
Listen, we really gotta
talk about the reality
442
00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:55,420
of our little situation here.
443
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,913
I think it's time we
bring somebody in-
444
00:16:56,937 --> 00:16:58,384
please don't use
the word "nanny."
445
00:16:58,522 --> 00:16:59,901
Oh, believe me. I'm not-
446
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:02,590
What is wrong with us? We
can't raise our child by ourselves?
447
00:17:02,728 --> 00:17:04,427
Sweetie, this afternoon we
almost shipped our daughter
448
00:17:04,451 --> 00:17:05,796
down to the lower lobby.
449
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,071
I still don't think-
450
00:17:07,209 --> 00:17:08,494
Look, we have to
get somebody in here.
451
00:17:08,518 --> 00:17:09,898
I don't want to not get somebody
452
00:17:10,035 --> 00:17:11,528
just so we can feel
like we're better parents
453
00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:12,759
'cause we don't have somebody.
454
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:14,010
No. You're right. You're right.
455
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,482
We should act now,
instead of waiting
456
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,654
till we accidentally mail her
off to Bolivia or, something.
457
00:17:18,792 --> 00:17:21,653
Do you know how hard it
is to find the right person?
458
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,893
I mean, my god, we
have to look at resumes.
459
00:17:24,031 --> 00:17:25,662
We have to make sure
the person's qualified.
460
00:17:25,686 --> 00:17:27,030
What if Mabel doesn't like her?
461
00:17:27,168 --> 00:17:28,528
It could take us
months and months-
462
00:17:30,512 --> 00:17:31,615
Hello.
463
00:17:31,753 --> 00:17:33,994
This is Nancy Bloom.
464
00:17:34,132 --> 00:17:35,649
Nancy, this is my wife Jamie.
465
00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:36,787
Hi. Hi.
466
00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:38,062
Hi, there.
467
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,337
Sweetie, Nancy's somebody
that I think we should
468
00:17:40,475 --> 00:17:42,785
Really, seriously
consider to be our nan-
469
00:17:42,922 --> 00:17:44,542
Uh, child-rearing helper.
470
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,680
No.
471
00:17:45,749 --> 00:17:46,989
Our child specialist surrogate.
472
00:17:47,059 --> 00:17:49,196
Our person of baby helping.
473
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:50,575
Our infant-monitoring-No.
474
00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:52,160
Our specialist-our baby-No.
475
00:17:52,298 --> 00:17:54,057
Whatever it is, i
think she's very good.
476
00:17:54,195 --> 00:17:56,711
May I ask your
qualifications for the job?
477
00:17:56,849 --> 00:18:00,020
I was a cook and, uh,
a little mistake-prone.
478
00:18:00,158 --> 00:18:01,158
I see.
479
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:03,019
I, uh, started a few fires.
480
00:18:03,157 --> 00:18:04,916
Oh. Hey, we should
hire her right up.
481
00:18:05,053 --> 00:18:06,742
Uh, yeah. Excuse us one second.
482
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,131
I have a really
strong-I can't hear.
483
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,500
Hang on one second.
484
00:18:09,638 --> 00:18:11,017
When you're facing that-I can't-
485
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:13,016
Okay. Here's the thing, sweetie.
486
00:18:13,154 --> 00:18:14,844
I have a gut
instinct about Nancy,
487
00:18:14,981 --> 00:18:16,739
and I really hope
you just trust that.
488
00:18:17,532 --> 00:18:18,911
I'm sure you're wonderful.
489
00:18:19,049 --> 00:18:21,704
Of course I trust
your instincts.
490
00:18:21,842 --> 00:18:22,989
It's just, I don't
think you should-
491
00:18:23,013 --> 00:18:24,048
Thank you very much.
492
00:18:24,185 --> 00:18:26,023
I don't think you should
go offering your child
493
00:18:26,047 --> 00:18:28,494
to a stranger just because
you have a gut feeling.
494
00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:29,633
I think that's crazy.
495
00:18:29,701 --> 00:18:30,701
I think she's hungry.
496
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:32,459
You're absolutely
right. She is hungry.
497
00:18:32,596 --> 00:18:35,009
I have applesauce
right here in my bag.
498
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,526
I mean it has to be
more scientific than that.
499
00:18:37,664 --> 00:18:38,836
Who wants some food?
500
00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:40,939
Who's the hungriest girl
in the whole, wide world?
501
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:42,214
I'm not arguing with that.
502
00:18:42,352 --> 00:18:43,742
Are we just gonna
go off half-cocked?
503
00:18:43,766 --> 00:18:45,075
White spoon? Yes, exactly.
504
00:18:45,213 --> 00:18:46,419
The couch is good, right?
505
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:47,706
She loves to eat on the couch.
506
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:49,210
How do you feel about
some applesauce?
507
00:18:49,316 --> 00:18:50,676
Honey, we're gonna
have to sit down
508
00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:51,877
And find some
qualified candidates.
509
00:18:51,901 --> 00:18:53,108
I know, I know-
510
00:18:53,245 --> 00:18:54,486
Oh, my god.
511
00:18:54,625 --> 00:18:56,048
And then maybe, if we're
lucky, we'll find somebody.
512
00:18:56,072 --> 00:18:58,175
Oh, this isn't
applesauce at all.
513
00:18:58,313 --> 00:18:59,313
I think...
514
00:18:59,381 --> 00:19:00,381
Why, it's bourbon.
515
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,241
Okay. How did you do that?
516
00:19:08,379 --> 00:19:09,379
What?
517
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,102
She probably just got the joke
518
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,480
about the rabbi and the priest.
519
00:19:22,374 --> 00:19:25,374
Tell you what, we gotta do something
about these sleeping arrangements, huh?
520
00:19:26,718 --> 00:19:28,475
You are a great
audience, you know that?
521
00:19:29,614 --> 00:19:30,682
Here they come again.
522
00:19:53,744 --> 00:19:54,882
How about giving it a rest.
523
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:56,191
Okay! So sorry!
524
00:20:15,323 --> 00:20:16,323
Uh,
525
00:20:16,978 --> 00:20:18,081
Sir?
526
00:20:25,665 --> 00:20:27,044
Okay. I'll just,
527
00:22:45,485 --> 00:22:46,485
Uh,
528
00:22:47,069 --> 00:22:48,207
Sir?
529
00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:57,170
Okay. I'll just,
37261
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