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1
00:00:06,495 --> 00:00:09,012
Huh? What do you think?
2
00:00:10,426 --> 00:00:11,460
It's tomorrow night.
3
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:33,666
♪ Tell me why I
love you like I do
4
00:00:33,804 --> 00:00:36,150
♪ Tell me who can stop my heart
5
00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:37,494
♪ As much as you
6
00:00:37,632 --> 00:00:39,459
♪ Let's take each other's hand
7
00:00:39,597 --> 00:00:42,252
♪ As we jump
into the final frontier
8
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,976
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
9
00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:47,872
♪ Yeah ♪
10
00:00:53,631 --> 00:00:56,493
Okay, Paulie, here
is the big question.
11
00:00:56,631 --> 00:00:58,734
If you could have any
sandwich named after you,
12
00:00:58,872 --> 00:00:59,976
what sandwich would it be?
13
00:01:01,251 --> 00:01:02,251
Tongue.
14
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:04,803
Really? Why?
15
00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:05,941
Let people wonder.
16
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:11,009
Paulie, come on.
17
00:01:11,148 --> 00:01:13,089
I'm serious. Riff told me that
when the new menus come out
18
00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,078
he's gonna name a
sandwich after me.
19
00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:18,148
He says that my name would
be perfect for a sandwich.
20
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,326
Well, you're very blessed.
21
00:01:20,217 --> 00:01:21,561
Hi.
22
00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:23,699
Hi. You know, we're
gonna have to wait to order.
23
00:01:23,837 --> 00:01:25,354
Uh, I was hoping to
meet my wife here.
24
00:01:25,768 --> 00:01:26,940
Okay. Um...
25
00:01:27,077 --> 00:01:28,077
How about her?
26
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,354
She just broke up
with her boyfriend.
27
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,216
You know, maybe I wasn't clear.
28
00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:37,663
My wife is gonna walk in
through that door any minute.
29
00:01:37,801 --> 00:01:39,594
Oh. Okay, well,
that's the spirit.
30
00:01:42,732 --> 00:01:43,974
So what is this, Paulie?
31
00:01:44,112 --> 00:01:45,536
Is this, like, the
nine millionth time
32
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,043
Jamie's been late
because of that job?
33
00:01:47,181 --> 00:01:48,294
I don't know. Whatever it is.
34
00:01:48,318 --> 00:01:49,663
You, my friend, are a prince.
35
00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:50,939
Nah, nah, I'm not a prince.
36
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,076
It's true. Look, right
now you bear the brunt
37
00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:55,111
of the child-rearing
responsibilities.
38
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,122
You're incredibly supportive
of your wife working
39
00:01:57,146 --> 00:01:58,501
even though it takes
her away from you.
40
00:01:58,525 --> 00:01:59,973
You are a prince among men.
41
00:02:00,111 --> 00:02:01,594
Let's not overstate it, okay?
42
00:02:01,731 --> 00:02:04,491
I'm not a prince. I'm just
a guy making a sacrifice,
43
00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:06,191
putting my own dreams
on hold for the moment
44
00:02:06,215 --> 00:02:08,593
so that I can help her
make her dreams come true.
45
00:02:08,731 --> 00:02:09,904
I'm a prince is what I am.
46
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:11,662
That's what I'm saying.
47
00:02:12,248 --> 00:02:13,248
It's just temporary.
48
00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,973
She's going to quit
her job very soon.
49
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:17,949
Besides, it's not exactly like people
are killing themselves to give me jobs.
50
00:02:17,973 --> 00:02:18,973
No new offers?
51
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:21,110
I got one. Here
you go. To teach.
52
00:02:21,248 --> 00:02:22,593
So? What's wrong with that?
53
00:02:22,731 --> 00:02:25,214
To teach? That's like,
you know, that's code for,
54
00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:27,903
"We've seen your film.
Please don't ever do that again."
55
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:29,937
No, no. That's not true at all.
56
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:31,675
Whatever. It's some
college or something.
57
00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:34,799
It's not even in America. What is it,
Scotland or some Godforsaken place?
58
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,110
Paulie...
59
00:02:36,247 --> 00:02:38,385
This letter is from the
University of Edinburgh.
60
00:02:38,523 --> 00:02:39,523
Yeah. So?
61
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:40,799
So? That's, like
62
00:02:40,937 --> 00:02:42,765
that's, like, a
prestigious University.
63
00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:45,040
Yeah, for sheepherding
I'm sure it's terrific.
64
00:02:45,558 --> 00:02:47,040
For film, not so much.
65
00:02:47,178 --> 00:02:49,189
Look, why don't you find
out a little bit about a place,
66
00:02:49,213 --> 00:02:50,573
just a little bit,
before you mock?
67
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:52,380
What's the difference
how prestigious it is?
68
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,533
What, I'm going to pick up my
family, I'm going to move to Scotland?
69
00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:56,517
Some of the prettiest
country on earth, my friend.
70
00:02:56,557 --> 00:02:59,213
What's that? Greens
and purples, rolling hills,
71
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,350
Loch ness.
72
00:03:00,419 --> 00:03:02,660
Not to mention
the Northern Lights.
73
00:03:02,798 --> 00:03:04,398
All right, since when
do you know things?
74
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:06,798
Yeah, this is Mindy.
75
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:07,936
Hi.
76
00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:12,143
I've heard so much about you.
77
00:03:12,281 --> 00:03:15,212
Oh, oh, Ursula, you know what?
78
00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:17,384
Absolutely. No, I will
leave you two alone.
79
00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:21,315
Um... Um, Mindy?
80
00:03:21,452 --> 00:03:23,039
There's been a misunderstanding.
81
00:03:23,177 --> 00:03:24,797
Mindy, I'm Ira. How you doing?
82
00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:26,832
Why don't you come join us?
83
00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,004
Thank you. You're
welcome. You know what?
84
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,383
This place is gonna
name a sandwich after me.
85
00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:32,797
Really? Yeah.
86
00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:35,245
You know, I could...
get you a part
87
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:36,590
in one of my next films.
88
00:03:37,452 --> 00:03:38,796
So, um...
89
00:03:41,452 --> 00:03:42,624
What kind of sandwich, Ira?
90
00:03:43,796 --> 00:03:44,796
Tongue.
91
00:03:51,969 --> 00:03:54,106
Oh, boy, so I'm seeing
you for lunch today?
92
00:03:54,244 --> 00:03:56,141
No, actually, that
was yesterday.
93
00:03:57,348 --> 00:03:58,348
Oh, goodness.
94
00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:00,037
That's okay. I'm sorry.
95
00:04:00,175 --> 00:04:01,462
Hey, listen, you've
been a little distracted.
96
00:04:01,486 --> 00:04:03,968
Yep. But after today, no more.
97
00:04:04,106 --> 00:04:05,279
You really gonna quit?
98
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:07,623
Yep. Just as soon as I
hand in this last proposal.
99
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,279
Okay, that's Joan and Debbie.
100
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,875
I invited them over
to look after Mabel
101
00:04:11,899 --> 00:04:13,619
so you could meet me
for lunch... yesterday.
102
00:04:14,726 --> 00:04:15,840
What am I going to
do with them now?
103
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,278
You'll go out,
you'll get a haircut.
104
00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:19,185
I don't really need a
haircut. So you'll go bowling.
105
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:21,070
That's a good idea.
Bowling. That's very good.
106
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:22,657
Hey, you two.
107
00:04:22,692 --> 00:04:23,702
Hey. Mom told me your news.
108
00:04:23,726 --> 00:04:24,726
What news?
109
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,001
University of Edinburgh.
110
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,140
Oh...
111
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,485
That's not news.
112
00:04:29,554 --> 00:04:31,209
What news?
113
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:33,357
I told you. This college in Edinburgh,
They want me to teach sheep.
114
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:34,863
That's right.
115
00:04:35,001 --> 00:04:36,598
I told her. She's
been a little distracted.
116
00:04:36,622 --> 00:04:37,967
You should do it.
117
00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:39,218
I should do it? What, I
should move to Scotland?
118
00:04:39,242 --> 00:04:40,863
It's just a big pasture there.
119
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:43,321
They put up this University,
simply, like, as a wind break.
120
00:04:43,346 --> 00:04:45,829
I'm sure there's more to
Edinburgh than just that it's boring.
121
00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:47,311
Paul, the University
of Edinburgh
122
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:49,553
has one of the finest
film schools in Europe.
123
00:04:49,691 --> 00:04:51,972
All right, what, are they sending
everybody pamphlets now?
124
00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:54,655
Blue folder, blue
folder, blue folder.
125
00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:56,322
Haven't seen it, haven't
seen it, haven't seen it.
126
00:04:56,346 --> 00:04:58,069
Sweetie, take off your coat.
127
00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,759
Oh, that's okay.
You feeling all right?
128
00:04:59,897 --> 00:05:01,377
Yeah, I'm fine. So
take your coat off.
129
00:05:01,483 --> 00:05:02,483
That's okay.
130
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,597
What, do you have a fever? No.
131
00:05:03,621 --> 00:05:05,000
Take off your coat. It's okay.
132
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,424
You have chills? You
feel a chill? I'm fine.
133
00:05:06,448 --> 00:05:07,448
So take off your coat.
134
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,517
Take off the coat...
135
00:05:08,931 --> 00:05:09,999
Wha...
136
00:05:10,138 --> 00:05:11,138
You don't like it.
137
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:12,827
No. No, I like it.
138
00:05:12,965 --> 00:05:15,325
I don't even know If I'm
allowed to say this legally, but...
139
00:05:16,827 --> 00:05:18,138
God bless you. Look at you.
140
00:05:19,414 --> 00:05:20,551
Nobody asked you.
141
00:05:20,689 --> 00:05:22,010
That's true. I'm
sorry. That's wrong.
142
00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:24,516
Well, it was supposed
to be a surprise, but...
143
00:05:24,654 --> 00:05:27,482
This afternoon I'm going to pose
for New York Womanmagazine.
144
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,620
Get out!
145
00:05:28,723 --> 00:05:29,803
How did that happen?
146
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,447
Well, they're doing a spread
147
00:05:31,585 --> 00:05:34,758
on the 20 most eligible
bachelorettes in New York city.
148
00:05:34,895 --> 00:05:36,171
Bachelorettes.
149
00:05:36,309 --> 00:05:37,585
That is so cool.
150
00:05:37,723 --> 00:05:39,137
Really? Yes.
151
00:05:39,275 --> 00:05:40,275
What, it's not?
152
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:41,722
Well, see, the thing is,
153
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,550
you're not eligible.
154
00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:47,067
And also, I might add, not
exactly the kind of bachelorette
155
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:48,206
they were talking about.
156
00:05:49,412 --> 00:05:51,412
All right, but... but
wouldn't you say that it's...
157
00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:52,515
It's groovy?
158
00:05:52,584 --> 00:05:54,067
No. No. If I had to pick a word,
159
00:05:54,205 --> 00:05:55,550
I would say disgusting.
160
00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:57,274
Betraying.
161
00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:58,377
Insulting.
162
00:05:58,481 --> 00:05:59,688
And yet, at the same time,
163
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,790
Somehow a little
groovy... I gotta say.
164
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,101
Hey! What happened?
165
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,859
Blue folder. There it is, see?
166
00:06:05,997 --> 00:06:08,388
Listen, I know this is terrible
timing, but I have to go to work.
167
00:06:08,412 --> 00:06:09,446
That's okay.
168
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:10,594
I'm sorry to leave
you here with this.
169
00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,101
That's okay. It'll be great.
170
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,456
Listen, you go have a great last
day of work. I'll see you tonight.
171
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,240
Thank you. You're a
prince. I get that a lot.
172
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:20,031
You know what? You
ladies, why don't you go, too,
173
00:06:20,169 --> 00:06:21,307
'cause Mabel and I...
174
00:06:21,445 --> 00:06:23,005
Eligible. Would you
like to be eligible?
175
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,249
Because that can be arranged.
176
00:06:24,273 --> 00:06:25,824
Would you guys
mind watching Mabel?
177
00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:27,755
Why do you always
have to get so angry?
178
00:06:27,893 --> 00:06:29,411
Maybe because
you fill me with rage!
179
00:06:29,549 --> 00:06:31,830
I'm in the mood for a little
haircut and a little bowling.
180
00:06:33,582 --> 00:06:35,410
So you quit your
job, and then what?
181
00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,755
So they wished
me well and I left.
182
00:06:37,893 --> 00:06:38,893
How do you feel?
183
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:39,996
I feel great.
184
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:41,375
I feel undistracted.
185
00:06:41,513 --> 00:06:42,686
We can do whatever we want.
186
00:06:42,824 --> 00:06:44,375
Let's go to Scotland.
187
00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,144
Hey, don't kid around.
I looked into the place.
188
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:48,444
Apparently that got, like,
quite a film community there.
189
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,662
See that? You're starting
to like the idea, aren't you?
190
00:06:50,686 --> 00:06:52,617
The idea, yeah. The
reality, I'm sure, bleh.
191
00:06:54,823 --> 00:06:55,823
Oh, lordy.
192
00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:57,410
Oh, the fighting lesbians.
193
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:00,547
If I'm not mistaken,
194
00:07:00,685 --> 00:07:02,685
also the name of the Smith
College ice hockey team.
195
00:07:04,134 --> 00:07:05,281
You know what? I'm gonna go pee.
196
00:07:05,305 --> 00:07:06,340
Please pee later.
197
00:07:06,478 --> 00:07:07,478
All right.
198
00:07:07,547 --> 00:07:08,592
I did it because I wanted to.
199
00:07:08,616 --> 00:07:09,616
What about what I want?
200
00:07:09,685 --> 00:07:11,167
Deb, when they do a photo spread
201
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,098
at Irritating Life
Partner Monthly,
202
00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:14,236
you're more than welcome.
203
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,925
Hey, the new menus.
204
00:07:17,925 --> 00:07:18,925
Oh, I'm so excited.
205
00:07:18,994 --> 00:07:20,271
Okay, and now, um,
206
00:07:20,409 --> 00:07:21,809
are you still waiting
for your wife?
207
00:07:23,202 --> 00:07:24,511
No. This is she.
208
00:07:24,649 --> 00:07:25,649
Hey, Ursula.
209
00:07:25,787 --> 00:07:27,063
Oh, all right. You work fast.
210
00:07:30,235 --> 00:07:31,511
Oh, man, I don't believe this.
211
00:07:31,649 --> 00:07:32,684
What's the matter?
212
00:07:32,822 --> 00:07:34,304
Riff did not name a
sandwich after me.
213
00:07:34,442 --> 00:07:36,062
He didn't? Excuse me.
214
00:07:38,132 --> 00:07:39,235
Where are you going?
215
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:41,213
It wasn't true about the
sandwich, was it, Ira?
216
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,477
You were just using the
sandwich to impress me.
217
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:45,270
Mindy, no.
218
00:07:46,959 --> 00:07:48,545
Boy, oh, boy. You
see, in my day,
219
00:07:48,683 --> 00:07:50,993
It was, like, a
Camaro or big muscles
220
00:07:51,132 --> 00:07:52,590
to impress the gals.
That kind of thing.
221
00:07:52,614 --> 00:07:55,054
I'll tell you this. I'm not taking
it sitting down. Excuse me.
222
00:07:55,131 --> 00:07:56,545
And you know what, sweetie?
223
00:07:56,683 --> 00:07:58,614
If it's okay with you,
I'm gonna go pee now.
224
00:07:58,752 --> 00:07:59,890
Okay.
225
00:08:00,027 --> 00:08:01,614
You see, there is someone
226
00:08:01,752 --> 00:08:04,112
who consults his significant
other before making a decision.
227
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:11,372
So how's everybody? Good?
228
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,303
Hey, Ursula.
229
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,923
Listen, uh, do you know why Riff
did not name a sandwich after me?
230
00:08:18,061 --> 00:08:19,578
Okay, just a
second, I'm stirring.
231
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,337
Okay. Now, what is the question?
232
00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:26,406
Do you know why Riff did
not name a sandwich after me?
233
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,888
Oh. Uh, no.
234
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:32,315
Okay, do you know when
Riff is coming in today?
235
00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:35,130
What is it?
236
00:08:35,268 --> 00:08:37,405
Do you know what time
Riff is coming in today?
237
00:08:37,888 --> 00:08:39,508
Oh. No.
238
00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:42,130
Oh, terrific. Man doesn't
even have the nerve to face me.
239
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,336
Ursula, the menu
is on fire. Ursula.
240
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:46,474
Okay, what do you want?
241
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:47,681
The menu is on fire!
242
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,508
Oh. All right.
243
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:50,921
Oh. There.
244
00:08:52,646 --> 00:08:53,646
Hey.
245
00:08:54,508 --> 00:08:55,628
You got a fire extinguisher?
246
00:08:55,749 --> 00:08:56,749
A what?
247
00:08:56,818 --> 00:08:58,025
Fire extinguisher.
248
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,370
Hey, hey, buddy, you got
a fire extinguisher here?
249
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,783
Yikes!
250
00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:04,059
Listen, I gotta find
a fire extinguisher.
251
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:05,932
You take these, see if
you can smother the flames.
252
00:09:05,956 --> 00:09:07,680
Oh, okay. Yeah.
253
00:09:07,818 --> 00:09:09,093
Okay. Go away, fire.
254
00:09:09,231 --> 00:09:10,956
Now shoo. Shoo! Shoo!
255
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,093
What are you doing?
256
00:09:12,197 --> 00:09:13,300
I'm smothering the flames.
257
00:09:13,438 --> 00:09:15,507
No, you're not. You're
fanning the flames.
258
00:09:15,645 --> 00:09:17,680
Oh. Yeah. That's right.
259
00:09:18,886 --> 00:09:20,300
Hey, what's this?
What's in here?
260
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,886
Oh, water.
261
00:09:23,024 --> 00:09:24,904
Okay, great. Stand
back. I'll take care of this.
262
00:09:28,058 --> 00:09:29,265
What did you say was in here?
263
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,403
Yeah. Grease.
264
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:32,748
Oh, my God!
265
00:09:32,886 --> 00:09:34,092
We gotta get out of here.
266
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:35,334
We gotta get out of here!
267
00:09:35,472 --> 00:09:37,032
We are talking about
a fundamental issue
268
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:38,575
of respect and consideration.
269
00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:41,506
What do I have to do to make
you secure in this relationship?
270
00:09:41,644 --> 00:09:42,781
Uh... guys?
271
00:09:42,919 --> 00:09:44,379
I just want you to be
honest about what you are.
272
00:09:44,403 --> 00:09:46,540
Yes. Your property.
Do you smell, like, uh...
273
00:09:46,678 --> 00:09:47,988
That was an expression of love.
274
00:09:48,127 --> 00:09:49,792
No. It was an expression
of territorialism.
275
00:09:49,816 --> 00:09:50,816
Okay. Fire.
276
00:09:50,919 --> 00:09:51,919
What? Fire!
277
00:09:52,023 --> 00:09:53,023
Oh, my God!
278
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,678
Oh, I really had to pee.
279
00:10:25,297 --> 00:10:28,021
Five, ten, let's go, pull it up!
280
00:10:28,952 --> 00:10:30,986
Come on, coming through!
281
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,435
James! There you are!
282
00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:33,573
You're okay.
283
00:10:33,641 --> 00:10:34,676
You're okay.
284
00:10:35,021 --> 00:10:36,297
Oh! Oh!
285
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:37,986
I didn't know what
happened to you.
286
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:40,055
I was so worried. I
came out of the bathroom,
287
00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:41,272
and I didn't know
where you were,
288
00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:42,410
so I started going
back to the table...
289
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,434
You went to get me?
290
00:10:43,503 --> 00:10:46,503
Yeah. This... wall of flame,
291
00:10:46,641 --> 00:10:50,020
Like a big... like an
actual wall made of flame
292
00:10:50,158 --> 00:10:52,193
just came at me, so I
got down on my knees...
293
00:10:52,331 --> 00:10:54,641
Oh, my God. You went to
rescue me. You're a prince.
294
00:10:54,778 --> 00:10:55,818
I'm a prince. Yes, I know.
295
00:10:55,882 --> 00:10:57,778
My knight in shining armor.
296
00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:00,720
I was... I just didn't know
what happened to you.
297
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,296
I'm so glad you got out okay.
298
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:05,158
Yeah. I saw the smoke,
I just ran out of there.
299
00:11:08,675 --> 00:11:09,675
You ran out?
300
00:11:09,813 --> 00:11:10,916
Yeah. I saw the smoke.
301
00:11:11,054 --> 00:11:12,654
Luckily, I... whoo...
I ran out of there.
302
00:11:14,295 --> 00:11:15,847
So you were never in danger.
303
00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:20,088
No. I saw the smoke... all of
us just ran right out of there.
304
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:22,123
Didn't... didn't forget
anything in there?
305
00:11:22,261 --> 00:11:23,984
No... Jacket or...
306
00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:25,536
Got my jacket. You got your bag?
307
00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:28,467
Hey! How about... Your husband?
308
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,432
Oh, my God!
309
00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:32,984
Your soulmate who's peeing
his little heart out in there,
310
00:11:33,123 --> 00:11:34,570
unaware that there's
a fire going on?
311
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:36,122
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
312
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,639
You knew I was in the bathroom!
313
00:11:37,777 --> 00:11:38,949
Yes, I did. Oh, my God!
314
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,536
You didn't think
to come in and say,
315
00:11:40,674 --> 00:11:43,305
"Hey, there's a fire out here. You
might want to hurry up in there?"
316
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:44,880
Paul, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
317
00:11:45,018 --> 00:11:46,477
Oh, get up. If you don't
want to go to the men's room,
318
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:47,580
send somebody else in there.
319
00:11:47,604 --> 00:11:48,914
Oh, Paul, I'm so sorry.
320
00:11:49,052 --> 00:11:51,673
Oh, get up. Or just
leave a note at the table:
321
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,122
"Had to run. Big fire.
Hope you make it out alive."
322
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,776
Okay, listen. The important
thing is we're both okay.
323
00:11:56,914 --> 00:11:58,018
No. No.
324
00:11:58,155 --> 00:11:59,315
That was the important thing.
325
00:11:59,431 --> 00:12:02,500
Now the important thing
is that you left me in there
326
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:03,948
to choke to death.
327
00:12:04,879 --> 00:12:05,982
The second I got out here,
328
00:12:06,121 --> 00:12:07,761
the first thing I said
is, "where's Paul?"
329
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:10,224
Well...
330
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:11,844
I was in the bathroom.
331
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:14,534
I love you.
332
00:12:14,672 --> 00:12:16,499
I cherish you, and I love you.
333
00:12:16,637 --> 00:12:18,121
I'm sorry I was
so inconsiderate.
334
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:19,499
I'm sorry I was territorial.
335
00:12:19,637 --> 00:12:20,757
I want to be your territory.
336
00:12:20,844 --> 00:12:21,948
You do?
337
00:12:22,086 --> 00:12:23,603
Always. For as
long as both of us
338
00:12:23,741 --> 00:12:25,154
Are lucky enough to be alive.
339
00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,430
What are you saying?
340
00:12:26,568 --> 00:12:28,441
What do you think I'm
saying? Will you marry me?
341
00:12:28,465 --> 00:12:30,361
Yes.
342
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,050
Oh!
343
00:12:33,465 --> 00:12:34,465
Well, it's good to see
344
00:12:34,534 --> 00:12:36,094
fires bring out the
best in some people.
345
00:12:38,154 --> 00:12:39,223
Ursula, breathe.
346
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:45,981
Okay, are we gonna be done soon?
347
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,671
Ursula, you're breathing.
348
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,567
Yeah, well, for, like,
a long time, now.
349
00:12:50,429 --> 00:12:52,015
Oh... thank God!
350
00:12:52,153 --> 00:12:54,049
Yeah, well, I didn't
want to interrupt you,
351
00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:55,946
You know, because
you seemed so serious.
352
00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:58,360
No, I... I didn't realize
that you were conscious.
353
00:12:58,498 --> 00:12:59,670
Well, yeah.
354
00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:02,188
So how did I get here?
355
00:13:02,326 --> 00:13:04,428
Well, you passed out from
the smoke in the kitchen.
356
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:05,566
I carried you out.
357
00:13:06,257 --> 00:13:07,428
So you saved my life?
358
00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:09,394
Well... No. Hey.
359
00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:10,601
Ursula...
360
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:12,980
Okay. 'Cause, I mean,
if you had saved my life,
361
00:13:13,118 --> 00:13:15,945
then I would do anything
you asked to repay you. So...
362
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,739
Really? Yeah.
363
00:13:17,876 --> 00:13:18,876
Well, you know,
364
00:13:18,979 --> 00:13:20,463
Actually, come to think of it,
365
00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:22,290
I sort of did save your life.
366
00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:23,428
Technically.
367
00:13:23,876 --> 00:13:25,083
I thought so.
368
00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:26,876
Okay.
369
00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,221
Yeah.
370
00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:29,703
So, then, what can I do
371
00:13:29,841 --> 00:13:31,221
to show you my gratitude?
372
00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:36,910
Well, listen, Ursula...
373
00:13:37,048 --> 00:13:39,910
When Riff's reopens and
the new menus come out,
374
00:13:40,047 --> 00:13:42,358
could you make sure that they
name that sandwich after me?
375
00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:45,151
I promise.
376
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,565
Mm.
377
00:13:52,806 --> 00:13:55,186
See? He dragged her out,
and they barely know each other.
378
00:13:55,323 --> 00:13:56,323
All right.
379
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:02,426
Hey.
380
00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:03,530
Hey. How was your shower?
381
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,840
Very good. Very good.
Used about 2,000 q-tips
382
00:14:05,977 --> 00:14:07,392
getting that soot
out of my ears.
383
00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:09,392
Like my head was a chimney.
384
00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:11,575
You run around in a burning
building, you get plenty dirty.
385
00:14:11,599 --> 00:14:13,012
Yeah.
386
00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,161
I'm sorry. I've said it over
and over and over. I'm sorry.
387
00:14:15,185 --> 00:14:17,466
That's okay. You did, and
there's no need to say it again.
388
00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:18,874
Okay. Say it one more time.
389
00:14:19,012 --> 00:14:20,356
I'm sorry. There you go.
390
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,116
I'm sorry, go ahead. Go ahead.
391
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,493
I was actually... you go first.
392
00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:25,849
No, you... honey,
please go first.
393
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,529
Okay, all right,
all right, I... I...
394
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,253
Here's... here's what I think.
395
00:14:31,391 --> 00:14:32,391
Um...
396
00:14:32,942 --> 00:14:33,942
It's like this.
397
00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:38,218
You know how the
fire, uh, it sort of...
398
00:14:38,356 --> 00:14:40,435
It made Debbie and Joan
really take stock in their lives?
399
00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:41,459
Yes.
400
00:14:41,528 --> 00:14:42,538
And Ursula and Ira took stock?
401
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:43,942
Yes.
402
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,631
The fire made me take stock.
403
00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:47,528
Me, too.
404
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:49,252
Really? Yes.
405
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:51,090
So you're thinking what
I'm thinking? I hope so.
406
00:14:51,114 --> 00:14:52,528
Life is short. Yes.
407
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:54,504
You know, and... and it
could be over tomorrow.
408
00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:55,631
Yes.
409
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,327
We gotta seize the
day. Carpethat diem.
410
00:14:57,424 --> 00:14:58,528
Yes! Yeah.
411
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:01,010
So you're thinking we
gotta move to Scotland.
412
00:15:01,975 --> 00:15:02,975
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
413
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:05,010
Oh. That's where I went.
414
00:15:05,148 --> 00:15:06,148
What did you have?
415
00:15:06,217 --> 00:15:07,527
I want to go back to work.
416
00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:11,941
Oh, that's... that's
very different.
417
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,699
Sweetie, I... I love working.
418
00:15:15,837 --> 00:15:18,423
I know, but, jeez...
oh, that's... oh, oh...
419
00:15:18,561 --> 00:15:19,681
You want to teach, suddenly?
420
00:15:19,734 --> 00:15:20,734
I...
421
00:15:21,147 --> 00:15:22,733
I do.
422
00:15:22,871 --> 00:15:24,492
A classroom full
of sheep, you said.
423
00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:26,182
They... they have a few sheep,
424
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,743
but they're
scattered, they're all...
425
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:30,182
They have hills, these
beautiful rolling hills.
426
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,778
They have Northern Lights.
You want to see the pamphlet?
427
00:15:31,802 --> 00:15:32,802
No.
428
00:15:32,871 --> 00:15:33,871
What are we gonna do?
429
00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:35,526
I don't know.
430
00:15:37,595 --> 00:15:38,871
I... I... where you going?
431
00:15:39,009 --> 00:15:40,215
I'm going to work.
432
00:15:40,353 --> 00:15:41,949
Wait a second. I thought
we're talking about this.
433
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:44,042
They're going to give
my job to somebody else.
434
00:15:44,181 --> 00:15:45,571
Let me get it back,
then we'll talk.
435
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:46,595
What are you doing? No.
436
00:15:46,664 --> 00:15:48,112
I'm blocking your path.
437
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:50,388
Paul, I love that job.
438
00:15:50,526 --> 00:15:52,388
I gotta tell you, I
don't love that job.
439
00:15:52,525 --> 00:15:55,112
What happened to you
support me no matter what?
440
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,363
What happened to the prince?
441
00:15:56,387 --> 00:15:57,787
Prince... whoosh...
gone. Abdicated.
442
00:16:00,112 --> 00:16:01,628
Why?
443
00:16:01,766 --> 00:16:03,870
Because that job changed you.
444
00:16:04,008 --> 00:16:06,283
I was a little bit distracted.
445
00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:08,465
You left me in a
burning building.
446
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:11,525
Paul, I want my job back.
447
00:16:14,076 --> 00:16:15,318
Okay. You know what?
448
00:16:16,111 --> 00:16:17,111
Take your job.
449
00:16:17,180 --> 00:16:18,627
Thank you.
450
00:16:18,765 --> 00:16:19,805
What? Where are you going?
451
00:16:19,903 --> 00:16:20,972
I'm going to Scotland.
452
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:23,845
I'm going to the kitchen now,
453
00:16:23,869 --> 00:16:25,589
but I'm saying, later
I'm going to Scotland.
454
00:16:29,248 --> 00:16:30,248
A what?
455
00:16:30,317 --> 00:16:31,317
A pre-nup.
456
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,420
Oh. Oh, I see.
457
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,144
It's nothing to worry about.
458
00:16:34,282 --> 00:16:36,179
It's just a precaution.
In case we get divorced.
459
00:16:36,317 --> 00:16:37,386
We won't get divorced.
460
00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:38,568
Then why do we need a pre-nup?
461
00:16:38,592 --> 00:16:39,592
In case we do.
462
00:16:40,144 --> 00:16:42,006
Hey. What about romance?
463
00:16:42,144 --> 00:16:43,488
What about love?
464
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:45,557
What about believing
there's a bond between us
465
00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:47,764
that time and
circumstance cannot break?
466
00:16:48,488 --> 00:16:50,075
It's a very fair pre-nup.
467
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:51,868
You know what?
468
00:16:52,006 --> 00:16:54,005
What? This was
not a good fire at all.
469
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:56,833
Was that fire, like, the greatest
thing that ever happened, or what?
470
00:16:58,557 --> 00:16:59,729
You mean the fire at Riff's?
471
00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:02,419
Yeah.
472
00:17:02,936 --> 00:17:03,936
It really was.
473
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:05,832
Come here.
474
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:14,763
Oh...
475
00:17:15,384 --> 00:17:16,384
Yeah.
476
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:18,556
Yeah.
477
00:17:18,694 --> 00:17:21,108
Tony Curtis had to play
the man and the woman.
478
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,797
I want my job back.
479
00:17:27,935 --> 00:17:29,497
I know I said I quit,
but I've thought about it,
480
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:30,659
and I want to stay.
481
00:17:30,797 --> 00:17:33,452
Wow. It's up to
Mr. Carville and Ms. Matalin.
482
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:34,935
Okay. Shall I speak to them?
483
00:17:35,073 --> 00:17:37,279
Well, Mr. Carville's
with the President...
484
00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:38,486
The President of...
485
00:17:39,314 --> 00:17:40,521
Oh, the President President.
486
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:41,659
The President, yes.
487
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,521
Carville.
488
00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:46,738
Mr. Carville, it's
Jamie Buchman calling.
489
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:47,899
Oh, yeah, hi.
490
00:17:48,037 --> 00:17:49,796
Carville, I need you over here.
491
00:17:49,934 --> 00:17:52,083
Look, Jamie, I'm kind of with
the leader of the free world.
492
00:17:52,107 --> 00:17:53,107
Could I possibly...
493
00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,520
I've done some soul searching,
494
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,554
and I've decided I want my
job back. I know I just quit,
495
00:17:57,692 --> 00:17:58,968
And you're probably thinking,
496
00:17:59,107 --> 00:18:01,117
"What the heck's going on in
that crazy brain of Jamie's?"
497
00:18:01,141 --> 00:18:03,941
But I want my job back, and I'll
do anything I have to do to keep it...
498
00:18:03,968 --> 00:18:06,530
Carville, I mean it. I really
need you over in here right now.
499
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:08,623
Jamie, you're a fine
employee. Keep your job.
500
00:18:08,761 --> 00:18:10,727
Thank you, sir. That
means so much to me.
501
00:18:10,864 --> 00:18:12,909
Carville, man, that
better be the Pentagon.
502
00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,657
Look, I gotta go.
503
00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:16,496
I'll never forget the way You stuck
your neck out for me and you...
504
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,278
Hello?
505
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,312
This is quite a swanky thing.
506
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:27,519
Believe me.
507
00:18:27,657 --> 00:18:28,967
You got caviar.
508
00:18:29,105 --> 00:18:30,495
You got waiters running
around with toothpicks.
509
00:18:30,519 --> 00:18:32,519
I figure if I spend
enough of Joan's money,
510
00:18:32,657 --> 00:18:34,217
there won't be any
reason for a pre-nup.
511
00:18:35,553 --> 00:18:37,277
Got everything all in the works.
512
00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:39,863
Got passports renewed, even
got a new passport for Mabel.
513
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:41,001
Little passport this big.
514
00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,794
Ah! So Jamie's on
board for Scotland.
515
00:18:42,932 --> 00:18:45,483
We gotta, you know, dot
a few Is, cross a few Ts,
516
00:18:45,621 --> 00:18:48,380
And... and... plus, I gotta
get her to stop saying "no."
517
00:18:50,552 --> 00:18:52,932
You remember... you
remember when I told you
518
00:18:53,069 --> 00:18:55,932
to smother the flames, and
instead, you fanned the flames?
519
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:57,380
Yeah.
520
00:18:57,518 --> 00:18:58,518
No.
521
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,138
What are you doing?
522
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,034
I'm just basking in the glow
523
00:19:05,173 --> 00:19:07,276
of having my job back. You?
524
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,104
I'm thinkin' about
wearin' a kilt.
525
00:19:09,242 --> 00:19:10,345
Ah.
526
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,862
Sure. 'Cause we're
movin' to Scotland.
527
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,104
I'm serious about
this. Okay. All right.
528
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,413
Okay. I really am.
529
00:19:17,103 --> 00:19:18,206
When are we leaving?
530
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:20,517
Uh... I...
531
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,895
Where are we gonna live?
532
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,975
Well, we... What are we
gonna do with the apartment?
533
00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:25,279
Where's Mabel
gonna go to school?
534
00:19:26,241 --> 00:19:27,930
You thought about
Murray? Well, you know...
535
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:29,217
Maybe we'll have
to quarantine him.
536
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:31,241
Probably gonna have
to quarantine him.
537
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,103
What? I'm sorry,
what? There's a lot of...
538
00:19:34,619 --> 00:19:36,068
I'm still working
out the details.
539
00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:37,630
There's details to be
ironed out. No question.
540
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,457
Okay, good. So go
work out your little details,
541
00:19:39,481 --> 00:19:40,585
and I'll just be at work.
542
00:19:46,171 --> 00:19:49,619
You think you're so tough.
543
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,067
You think you've won.
544
00:19:51,205 --> 00:19:52,561
Let me tell you
something, my little friend.
545
00:19:52,585 --> 00:19:55,515
A war is made out of
many little battles, okay?
546
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:56,825
And here's what we Scotch do.
547
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,894
We fight and then we walk away,
548
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,239
so that we may return
to fight another day.
549
00:20:02,377 --> 00:20:03,860
That's what we Scotch do.
550
00:20:04,549 --> 00:20:05,549
Scots.
551
00:20:05,963 --> 00:20:06,963
Whatever.
552
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,066
Debbie.
553
00:20:09,204 --> 00:20:10,764
All right, you know
what? Write a check.
554
00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:12,722
What? Write a check.
There's my bank balance.
555
00:20:12,859 --> 00:20:14,859
Wow. Wow!
556
00:20:14,997 --> 00:20:16,480
Big eligible bachelorette.
557
00:20:16,618 --> 00:20:19,893
All right, now, I am signing
my name to this blank check,
558
00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:22,273
And whatever you want right
now from me you can have.
559
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:23,410
Joanie.
560
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,755
Debbie, there isn't anything
561
00:20:24,893 --> 00:20:26,859
I don't want you to have.
562
00:20:26,997 --> 00:20:31,031
So, you're saying that I
could write in any amount.
563
00:20:31,169 --> 00:20:32,169
Mm-hmm.
564
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,341
Deb, I... I... if I may,
565
00:20:33,479 --> 00:20:36,030
I believe this is what's
meant as a gesture.
566
00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:38,548
And a wonderful gesture it is.
567
00:20:38,686 --> 00:20:39,754
I love you.
568
00:20:39,892 --> 00:20:40,961
I love you.
569
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,892
Ah, look at these crazy kids.
570
00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:45,272
You know what?
If I may, everybody,
571
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,789
Let us make a toast...
572
00:20:46,927 --> 00:20:49,927
Can we make a toast to
my beautiful sister, Debbie
573
00:20:50,065 --> 00:20:51,892
And... Joan,
574
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:55,030
her future, soon-to-be wife
575
00:20:55,168 --> 00:20:58,237
and my soon-to-be sister-in-law.
576
00:20:58,375 --> 00:20:59,523
That's all right,
isn't it? Yeah.
577
00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:00,616
Uh...
578
00:21:01,547 --> 00:21:03,340
We just all want to wish you
579
00:21:03,478 --> 00:21:05,202
the very best in life,
580
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:06,995
or, as we say in Scotland...
581
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,133
Honey.
582
00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:09,409
Just... Good luck to you.
583
00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:13,133
I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
584
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:14,271
I'm so happy.
585
00:21:14,408 --> 00:21:15,443
I'm so happy.
586
00:21:15,581 --> 00:21:16,615
I'm pretty happy.
587
00:21:16,753 --> 00:21:18,029
I'm... I'm all right.
588
00:21:29,339 --> 00:21:30,374
And I, of course,
589
00:21:30,512 --> 00:21:31,694
am gonna have the
egg salad sandwich,
590
00:21:31,718 --> 00:21:33,545
or, as it is now known,
591
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:34,683
The Ira Buchman.
592
00:21:36,476 --> 00:21:38,718
You don't have to have
the egg salad every time
593
00:21:38,856 --> 00:21:40,136
just 'cause it's
named after you.
594
00:21:41,028 --> 00:21:42,235
I don't?
595
00:21:42,373 --> 00:21:44,453
You think Morey Amsterdam
always had the corned beef?
596
00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:45,580
Maybe.
597
00:21:45,683 --> 00:21:47,166
You think Sammy Davis,
598
00:21:47,304 --> 00:21:49,314
every single time he came in here,
he had the ham and swiss on rye?
599
00:21:49,338 --> 00:21:50,924
Why not?
600
00:21:51,062 --> 00:21:53,442
You this Willis Reed, no
matter what kind of mood he's in,
601
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,176
he came in here, he had
the turkey, chopped liver,
602
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,314
domestic mustard,
Russian dressing?
603
00:21:56,338 --> 00:21:57,338
Yeah.
604
00:21:58,786 --> 00:22:00,235
You're living in a dream world.
42386
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