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1
00:00:05,315 --> 00:00:06,696
Hey, hey,
where are you going?
2
00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:08,594
I'm gonna return
the video you rented
two weeks ago.
3
00:00:08,732 --> 00:00:09,733
I'm going
to watch that.
4
00:00:09,871 --> 00:00:11,459
You're so not
gonna watch this.
5
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:12,564
As soon as
I have time.
6
00:00:12,702 --> 00:00:13,979
You will never
have time.
7
00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:15,774
I will.
8
00:00:15,912 --> 00:00:17,569
Meryl Streep comes back
and tells Dustin Hoffman
9
00:00:17,707 --> 00:00:18,708
he can keep the kid.
10
00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:20,296
Here you go.
11
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:38,486
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
12
00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:42,939
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
13
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,837
♪ Let's take each other's hand
14
00:00:44,975 --> 00:00:48,151
♪ And jump into
the final frontier ♪
15
00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,385
All right...
Let's review.
16
00:00:59,523 --> 00:01:02,319
Effacement is...
Bending of the cervix.
17
00:01:02,457 --> 00:01:04,528
Good. And
lightening is...
18
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:06,979
When the fetus descends
into the pelvic cavity.
19
00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:08,256
Very good.
20
00:01:08,394 --> 00:01:09,947
And the fundus is...
21
00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:15,470
And the fundus is...
22
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,817
Um...
23
00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:21,234
That's the...
The funnest fun
anybody could have.
24
00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:23,409
I don't know.
25
00:01:23,547 --> 00:01:24,686
What a surprise.
26
00:01:24,824 --> 00:01:25,791
We know.
We know, too!
27
00:01:25,929 --> 00:01:27,068
We know what it is.
28
00:01:27,206 --> 00:01:28,656
It's... It's the part
of the uterus
29
00:01:28,794 --> 00:01:30,658
that's the farthest
away from the cervix.
30
00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:33,799
Very good. Very good.
31
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,009
What? That counts.
We're together.
32
00:01:38,873 --> 00:01:40,357
All right, is there
anybody here
33
00:01:40,495 --> 00:01:42,739
who still hasn't done
their dry run, yet?
34
00:01:49,884 --> 00:01:51,989
The dry run,
the packing the bag,
35
00:01:52,127 --> 00:01:53,335
the picking the route,
36
00:01:53,473 --> 00:01:54,992
it might all
seem mundane.
37
00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:57,339
But I can assure you,
it is crucial
38
00:01:57,477 --> 00:01:59,825
to a smooth,
successful delivery.
39
00:01:59,963 --> 00:02:02,828
I thought I had
made that clear.
40
00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:03,967
Oh, you have.
41
00:02:04,105 --> 00:02:05,693
I remember.
Many times.
42
00:02:05,831 --> 00:02:07,349
Hey.
43
00:02:07,487 --> 00:02:09,558
All right, then.
I guess that's it.
44
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,871
Thank you, everybody.
Class dismissed.
45
00:02:12,009 --> 00:02:13,735
Thanks. See you next time.
See you next week.
46
00:02:13,873 --> 00:02:16,462
Except for you two.
47
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:23,572
Hi.
48
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,092
You know, you guys wouldn't
even be in this class
49
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:28,577
if it weren't for Joan.
I know. She's
a wonderful doctor.
50
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:32,236
We love Joan. Joan...
Have you been doing
your dromedary droop?
51
00:02:32,374 --> 00:02:33,997
The droop. Um...
She was gonna...
52
00:02:34,135 --> 00:02:35,723
We sort of... I wouldn't
say I've been...
53
00:02:35,861 --> 00:02:38,691
Have you even done
your tailor stretches?
54
00:02:38,829 --> 00:02:40,210
The stretches
with the...
You tried.
55
00:02:40,348 --> 00:02:41,832
We found they kind of...
Yeah.
56
00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:43,178
Snapped right back at us.
57
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:46,526
Have you even watched
the birthing video?
58
00:02:46,665 --> 00:02:48,149
Did we watch
the birthing video?
Uh, I took it out,
59
00:02:48,287 --> 00:02:49,357
and I think
the phone rang
60
00:02:49,495 --> 00:02:50,669
I didn't actually...
No.
61
00:02:53,223 --> 00:02:55,156
And obviously
you haven't done
the dry run.
62
00:02:55,294 --> 00:02:56,778
Meaning to.
Okay, that we
can explain.
63
00:02:56,916 --> 00:02:58,884
Oh, look, I have
a waiting list
64
00:02:59,022 --> 00:03:00,333
of over 100 couples.
65
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,163
I have couples
on this list
66
00:03:02,301 --> 00:03:03,785
who have already
had their babies
67
00:03:03,923 --> 00:03:05,304
and still wanna
take the class.
68
00:03:05,442 --> 00:03:07,409
We know.
Now...
69
00:03:07,547 --> 00:03:08,756
Most people
70
00:03:08,894 --> 00:03:10,585
want to succeed at birth.
71
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:11,828
We do. We really do.
72
00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:14,416
We wanna be
a big hit at birth.
73
00:03:14,554 --> 00:03:17,903
All right. Because of
my relationship with Joan
74
00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:20,319
and because of
my respect for her,
75
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:23,080
and only because
of that, I'll give you
one more chance.
76
00:03:23,218 --> 00:03:24,841
Okay.
Tomorrow night.
77
00:03:24,979 --> 00:03:27,222
But you must watch
the birthing video.
78
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,499
We will. We will.
We will.
79
00:03:28,637 --> 00:03:29,708
And do the dry run.
80
00:03:29,846 --> 00:03:31,261
Yes. We'll do it.
We'll do that.
Okay.
81
00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:34,367
All right, I'll meet you
at the hospital tomorrow
at 7:30.
82
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,231
You will pre-register,
83
00:03:36,369 --> 00:03:38,061
then I will take you
on the tour.
84
00:03:38,199 --> 00:03:40,649
Now, if you're
not there by 7:30,
85
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,548
don't bother coming
back to class.
Okay.
86
00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:44,930
We will see you
tomorrow night,
7:30-ish.
87
00:03:46,241 --> 00:03:47,242
No "Ish."
88
00:03:55,388 --> 00:03:58,150
Paulie, are these
all the release forms?
89
00:03:58,288 --> 00:03:59,599
Yeah. Should be.
90
00:03:59,738 --> 00:04:01,774
Then where's your mother's,
and where's your father's?
91
00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:03,086
Huh? They're
not in there?
92
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:05,019
No.
93
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,399
All right. Just
give me a second.
94
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:08,160
[VIDEO WHIRS]
I'm almost done
with this scene.
95
00:04:08,298 --> 00:04:10,334
The first night Jamie
met our parents,
96
00:04:10,472 --> 00:04:12,371
needless to say,
was a little intimidating.
97
00:04:12,509 --> 00:04:13,786
She ate like a horse.
98
00:04:13,924 --> 00:04:15,408
I remember after dinner
99
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,134
we were gonna have
some ice cream,
100
00:04:17,272 --> 00:04:19,033
and Jamie offered
to go in the kitchen
and get it.
101
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:21,242
She was always
very polite and helpful.
102
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,900
At this time,
Ma had this spoon,
103
00:04:24,038 --> 00:04:25,660
this cockamamie spoon...
104
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,939
It was a JFK
commemorative spoon.
105
00:04:29,077 --> 00:04:30,492
It was a collector's
item. Silver.
106
00:04:31,321 --> 00:04:32,632
It was a piece of crap.
107
00:04:34,013 --> 00:04:35,912
After Paul and Jamie
left that night,
108
00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:38,052
Ma noticed that
the spoon was gone.
109
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,848
She seemed nice enough,
but, you know, I didn't
know her.
110
00:04:40,986 --> 00:04:43,022
Well, Ma immediately
assumed
111
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,231
that Jamie had
stolen the spoon.
112
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:46,750
Ma never confronted Jamie.
113
00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:48,303
She never mentioned it
to her.
114
00:04:48,441 --> 00:04:50,409
Mentioned it to everybody
else over and over again,
115
00:04:50,547 --> 00:04:51,962
but never to Jamie.
116
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,550
SYLVIA: Anyway,
it's water under
the bridge.
117
00:04:53,688 --> 00:04:55,655
Ma has never
forgiven her,
118
00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:57,485
and to this day,
of course,
119
00:04:57,623 --> 00:05:00,384
no one has ever proven
that Jamie actually
stole the spoon.
120
00:05:00,522 --> 00:05:02,939
However, between
you and me,
121
00:05:03,077 --> 00:05:04,906
I'm positive
that she did.
122
00:05:06,114 --> 00:05:08,116
This is great.
This is like...
123
00:05:08,254 --> 00:05:10,222
It's like the story
of the Buchman women.
124
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,017
You know,
each with their own
version of the truth,
125
00:05:12,155 --> 00:05:13,742
and who knows
what the truth is?
126
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,883
I think it's like one
of the best sequences
in the whole film.
127
00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:17,781
Paulie, release forms,
okay? Release forms!
128
00:05:17,919 --> 00:05:20,094
Okay, now, did you
look everywhere?
Yes.
129
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:21,958
I can't believe...
I thought you said
you had them all.
130
00:05:22,096 --> 00:05:23,062
I thought I did, too.
131
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,961
Frankly, I'm a little
taken aback.
132
00:05:25,099 --> 00:05:27,101
Without the release forms,
we cannot release the film.
133
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,034
We got to have everybody's
permission. Legally.
134
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:30,932
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Let's just relax.
135
00:05:31,070 --> 00:05:32,796
It is your mother
and your father we're
talking about, right?
136
00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:34,384
Let's not anticipate
a problem.
137
00:05:35,661 --> 00:05:36,973
Hello. It's only me.
IRA: Hey, Deb.
138
00:05:37,111 --> 00:05:38,733
PAUL: Hi, you.
Don't get up.
139
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,597
Hey, Deb, do you have
any idea if Mom and Dad
ever got those...
140
00:05:40,735 --> 00:05:42,116
The release forms?
Yes.
141
00:05:43,496 --> 00:05:45,291
And?
Mom's not signing hers.
142
00:05:46,223 --> 00:05:47,155
Why not?
143
00:05:47,293 --> 00:05:48,639
Something about
the spoon story.
144
00:05:49,364 --> 00:05:51,056
The spoon story?
145
00:05:51,194 --> 00:05:52,229
She's got a problem
with the spoon story?
146
00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:53,610
That's one of the best
things we have.
147
00:05:53,748 --> 00:05:54,818
I was just
working on that.
I don't know.
148
00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:56,647
All I can tell you
is Mom's not happy.
149
00:05:56,785 --> 00:05:58,097
Oh, this is not good.
150
00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:00,479
Paulie, we've got to
get her to sign those
forms.
151
00:06:00,617 --> 00:06:03,171
The spoon story
is brilliant.
152
00:06:03,309 --> 00:06:06,105
Except that Ma says
Jamie stole the spoon,
153
00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:07,555
and Jamie always
said she didn't,
154
00:06:07,693 --> 00:06:09,557
so it's Ma's word
against Jamie's.
155
00:06:09,695 --> 00:06:11,593
Well, Jamie didn't
steal the spoon.
156
00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:13,009
Everybody knows that.
157
00:06:13,147 --> 00:06:15,632
[LAUGHS] Of course, she did.
Everybody knows that.
158
00:06:16,391 --> 00:06:17,461
She did not.
159
00:06:17,599 --> 00:06:19,187
Oh, Paulie, come on.
Hey, I don't even care.
160
00:06:19,325 --> 00:06:21,396
All I wanna do is get
the release forms signed.
161
00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:25,676
You know, and frankly,
you know, I do admire you
for sticking up for her.
162
00:06:25,814 --> 00:06:27,713
I'm not! I'm not
sticking up for
anything.
163
00:06:27,851 --> 00:06:30,509
She didn't steal a thing.
[SCOFFS] Oh, Paulie, come on.
164
00:06:30,647 --> 00:06:32,131
It was a classic.
165
00:06:32,269 --> 00:06:35,410
James comes to the house
the first time, and,
boom, rip-off.
166
00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,033
She didn't
rip-off a spoon.
167
00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:38,241
What is she, a nut?
168
00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:40,208
It was thrown away
or lost or something.
169
00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:41,865
All right. Good.
Look, the point is,
170
00:06:42,003 --> 00:06:43,625
we've got to get
your mother's signature.
171
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:44,903
All right, well...
172
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:48,665
I have an idea.
What?
173
00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:50,391
You know how to forge
Mom's signature.
174
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,325
Go ahead.
No!
175
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:56,811
JAMIE: What is
the matter with her?
176
00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,951
I told her 4,000 times.
177
00:06:59,089 --> 00:07:01,333
I bent the spoon
in the ice cream,
and I threw it out.
178
00:07:01,471 --> 00:07:03,542
I know, I know.
I understand.
179
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:04,612
All right,
here we go.
180
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:06,200
Walkman.
Yes.
181
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,995
Tapes, depending on
what type of birth.
182
00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:11,377
We've got Vivaldi,
Sinatra, Lyle Lovett,
183
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,862
REM, and Garbage.
184
00:07:14,863 --> 00:07:15,899
That's a band.
185
00:07:16,865 --> 00:07:17,797
Thank you.
186
00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:18,971
Okay...
187
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:20,973
Got the stopwatch.
Stopwatch.
188
00:07:21,111 --> 00:07:23,665
Picture of your cousin
Ernie as a child.
189
00:07:23,803 --> 00:07:25,426
Cousin Ernie.
190
00:07:25,564 --> 00:07:26,875
And now, why your
cousin Ernie as a child?
191
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,222
'Cause he's so cute.
192
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,361
Okay.
193
00:07:30,949 --> 00:07:32,226
Let's throw this
in there.
194
00:07:33,296 --> 00:07:34,331
What is this?
195
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,264
It's a book.
196
00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:37,714
What are you doing?
What?
197
00:07:37,852 --> 00:07:38,887
What are you
bringing this for?
198
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,027
To read.
199
00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:44,652
You're not gonna be
sitting in a chaise
lounge getting a tan.
200
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:46,965
This isn't a vacation.
We're having a baby.
201
00:07:47,103 --> 00:07:48,311
I thought I would
have some down time.
202
00:07:50,244 --> 00:07:51,935
At the birth
of your child?
203
00:07:52,522 --> 00:07:53,523
I don't know. No?
204
00:07:53,661 --> 00:07:55,974
No.
Okay. All right.
205
00:07:56,112 --> 00:07:58,183
We're supposed to meet
Amy at the hospital
in an hour.
206
00:07:58,321 --> 00:08:00,357
We're already in trouble,
and we haven't watched
the video.
207
00:08:00,495 --> 00:08:01,738
We'll be fine.
Don't worry about
the video.
208
00:08:01,876 --> 00:08:03,464
We're not in trouble.
Come on.
209
00:08:03,602 --> 00:08:05,742
We're packing a bag that
we're not even gonna use
for six weeks.
210
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,538
Here we go.
Disposable camera.
211
00:08:08,676 --> 00:08:10,954
This is the kind
that takes those
panoramic pictures.
212
00:08:12,749 --> 00:08:14,199
So I'll stand far away.
213
00:08:15,855 --> 00:08:18,824
How could she think
I would steal a cheap
little spoon?
214
00:08:18,962 --> 00:08:21,206
I don't know. If my mother
doesn't sign those release
forms, I'm dead.
215
00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:22,931
I'm just dead
in the water.
216
00:08:23,656 --> 00:08:24,657
Who is that for?
217
00:08:28,109 --> 00:08:30,318
Do you understand
what actually is going
to happen here?
218
00:08:30,456 --> 00:08:31,733
For the baby!
Yes, exactly!
219
00:08:31,871 --> 00:08:32,838
Put the thing
on the baby.
220
00:08:32,976 --> 00:08:35,047
Right. Sure. Okay.
All right.
221
00:08:36,186 --> 00:08:37,946
It's just so stupid
with my mother
222
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,293
because she's...
I mean, like...
223
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,467
Like you're really
gonna steal a spoon
from her house
224
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,780
'cause you love spoons
that much, and you need
a spoon.
225
00:08:43,918 --> 00:08:45,471
And if you did
steal a spoon,
226
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,990
then you're gonna keep
that a secret from me
for five years?
227
00:08:47,128 --> 00:08:48,302
Yeah, that makes
a lot of sense.
228
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,476
It's so absurd. You know?
229
00:08:51,408 --> 00:08:52,409
Sweetie?
230
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:54,722
Honey?
Sweetie.
231
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,172
Oh, no!
232
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,932
I stole the spoon.
No!
233
00:08:59,244 --> 00:09:00,245
I can't lie.
234
00:09:00,383 --> 00:09:02,488
You can't lie?
235
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:05,043
I can lie to other people.
I can't lie to you.
236
00:09:06,423 --> 00:09:07,493
After five years.
237
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,188
Wow!
238
00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:13,637
I'm sorry!
239
00:09:13,775 --> 00:09:15,501
Your first time
in my parents' house,
240
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,158
and this is what
you do? You steal?
241
00:09:17,296 --> 00:09:18,746
It was a long time ago!
242
00:09:18,884 --> 00:09:20,299
Who knew we'd
still be together?
243
00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:24,200
I can't believe
244
00:09:24,338 --> 00:09:25,684
Sylvia has been
walking around
all this time
245
00:09:25,822 --> 00:09:26,961
thinking I did it.
246
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,550
Honey, you did do it!
247
00:09:29,688 --> 00:09:31,379
You have to promise me,
swear to me,
248
00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:33,312
you will never
tell your mother.
249
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,211
Well, you would
like that, wouldn't you?
250
00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:37,937
No, no, no. You have to
swear. I would die
of embarrassment.
251
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:39,456
Well, look who's holding
all the cards now?
252
00:09:39,594 --> 00:09:41,079
I'm carrying your child.
253
00:09:41,217 --> 00:09:42,252
Okay. All right.
254
00:09:46,912 --> 00:09:48,189
Roosevelt Hospital,
please?
255
00:09:48,327 --> 00:09:49,466
Roosevelt Island?
256
00:09:49,604 --> 00:09:51,019
No. Hospital.
257
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:52,745
Uh-huh.
Okay.
258
00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,299
Roosevelt Island Hospital.
259
00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:55,541
No. Roosevelt Hospital.
260
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,715
Here we go.
261
00:09:56,853 --> 00:09:58,406
Yes. Here we go.
262
00:10:00,788 --> 00:10:02,169
Roosevelt Hospital.
No island.
263
00:10:02,307 --> 00:10:04,550
Island? Long Island?
264
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,621
I must call it in.
I don't know where...
265
00:10:06,759 --> 00:10:09,072
No. I'm saying no island.
266
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:10,418
Forget I said that.
It's Roosevelt...
267
00:10:10,556 --> 00:10:11,799
Roosevelt Hospital.
268
00:10:11,937 --> 00:10:13,421
It's not...
Not Roosevelt island.
Uh-huh.
269
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:16,079
You see? Not Roosevelt Island
Hospital, either.
270
00:10:16,217 --> 00:10:18,116
Okay.
Just regular plain
Roosevelt Hospital.
271
00:10:18,254 --> 00:10:19,565
Okay.
Okay.
272
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:20,808
Why is he going this way?
273
00:10:20,946 --> 00:10:22,810
What way?
This way.
274
00:10:22,948 --> 00:10:24,363
Can't you get to
Roosevelt Hospital
this way?
275
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:26,607
No.
Um...
276
00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:27,780
No. Wait.
277
00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:29,403
Um, excuse me.
278
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:30,542
Yes?
279
00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:33,061
See, um... My wife
is pregnant.
280
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,098
Having baby?
[TIRES SCREECH]
281
00:10:35,236 --> 00:10:36,893
PAUL: No, no, no,
no, no. She's not.
282
00:10:37,031 --> 00:10:39,067
This... This is just
a... A dry run.
283
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,310
Oh, good luck.
284
00:10:40,448 --> 00:10:41,829
What dry run?
285
00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,969
Uh, it's a dry run?
A dry run?
286
00:10:44,107 --> 00:10:45,936
Where is?
Where is dry run?
287
00:10:46,074 --> 00:10:47,214
I don't know dry run.
288
00:10:47,352 --> 00:10:49,423
Where is...
No, uh...
289
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,390
No. A dry, uh...
290
00:10:51,528 --> 00:10:53,703
This is the dry run.
This is the dry run.
291
00:10:53,841 --> 00:10:55,118
Right here?
[TIRES SCREECH]
292
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,638
Okay. I'm getting out.
293
00:10:57,776 --> 00:10:58,915
Okay. Now, hang on.
Hang on.
294
00:10:59,053 --> 00:11:00,365
Sweetie, please.
We have to...
295
00:11:00,503 --> 00:11:03,195
Um, please start...
Start driving again.
296
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,783
[SHUDDERS]
297
00:11:04,921 --> 00:11:07,924
PAUL: Um, there is
no place dry run.
This is a dry...
298
00:11:08,062 --> 00:11:09,167
See? Okay.
299
00:11:09,305 --> 00:11:11,065
A dry run, that's...
300
00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:14,655
That's for people like us,
who... They are having
a baby,
301
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:16,657
but not... Not today.
302
00:11:16,795 --> 00:11:19,246
Not quite yet.
Why?
303
00:11:19,384 --> 00:11:22,007
Why? Why because we...
Pretend. We're practicing.
304
00:11:22,145 --> 00:11:24,182
We pretend like we're
going to the hospital
305
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,150
so we know what it will
be like when it happens.
306
00:11:27,288 --> 00:11:29,014
Why pretend to having baby
307
00:11:29,152 --> 00:11:30,602
if you're really having baby?
308
00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:34,053
That's a good question.
That's a good question.
309
00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:36,021
That makes a good point.
That makes no sense,
doesn't it?
310
00:11:36,159 --> 00:11:38,368
Maybe 'cause we're gonna
get kicked out of class
if we don't.
311
00:11:38,506 --> 00:11:39,714
Do you like that reason?
312
00:11:39,852 --> 00:11:40,957
That's a good reason.
313
00:11:41,095 --> 00:11:43,787
Okay. Guess what?
What?
314
00:11:43,925 --> 00:11:45,306
We're heading to
Roosevelt Island!
315
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,450
Good morning, Amy.
316
00:11:51,588 --> 00:11:52,934
Hi.
Hey, Amy.
317
00:11:53,072 --> 00:11:54,039
Hi.
Hi.
318
00:11:54,177 --> 00:11:55,178
Hi, Amy.
319
00:11:55,316 --> 00:11:56,559
I don't think so.
320
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,769
Yeah, Joan.
321
00:12:11,907 --> 00:12:13,357
Yeah. See, what
happened was...
322
00:12:13,495 --> 00:12:14,876
Just ask her
to talk to Amy.
323
00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:16,809
If you could talk
to Amy for us...
324
00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:18,293
Just tell her
we're very sorry.
325
00:12:18,431 --> 00:12:20,433
Um, maybe just tell her
that we're sorry.
326
00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:21,779
Tell her we're very sorry.
327
00:12:21,917 --> 00:12:23,401
Sorry we put her
in such an awkward
position.
328
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:26,094
Um... We're sorry that
we put her in such
an awkward position.
329
00:12:26,232 --> 00:12:28,786
Tell her it was my fault.
If it helps, you know,
330
00:12:28,924 --> 00:12:30,305
you could tell her that
it was Paul's fault.
331
00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:32,721
No, don't actually say it!
Uh, no, no, no.
Not exactly.
332
00:12:32,859 --> 00:12:34,205
Um, listen...
333
00:12:34,343 --> 00:12:36,000
If you could ask her...
Tell her...
334
00:12:36,138 --> 00:12:37,243
'Cause Amy,
she's a fanatic.
335
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,727
We found that Amy was...
336
00:12:38,865 --> 00:12:40,073
She's a fanatic.
She's a fanatic.
She's a...
337
00:12:40,211 --> 00:12:41,385
Do you wanna do this?
338
00:12:43,974 --> 00:12:44,975
Joan, hi.
339
00:12:45,113 --> 00:12:46,424
How's Tricks?
340
00:12:46,563 --> 00:12:47,805
Okay. Here's Jamie.
341
00:12:52,085 --> 00:12:54,571
Hi. Yeah.
Thank you so much.
342
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,227
Okay. Bye-bye.
343
00:12:56,365 --> 00:12:57,677
'Cause you get
on the phone with her,
you know how you are.
344
00:12:57,815 --> 00:12:59,230
Uh-huh.
345
00:12:59,368 --> 00:13:01,647
She's gonna call Amy
and try to get us
back in the class.
346
00:13:01,785 --> 00:13:03,614
Oh, goody.
[DOOR OPENS]
347
00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:05,236
How's it going?
Is the tea almost
ready?
348
00:13:05,374 --> 00:13:06,721
Uh, give me a second here.
349
00:13:06,859 --> 00:13:08,688
Hey, James, don't forget
to put out the spoons.
350
00:13:08,826 --> 00:13:10,069
You know? I mean,
to stir with.
351
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:12,381
Don't worry. I won't.
352
00:13:12,519 --> 00:13:14,383
I mean, I'll get
the spoons for you.
I'd be happy to.
353
00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:16,903
I think I can handle it.
Why don't you just take this
and go inside, huh?
354
00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:18,008
All right.
355
00:13:19,078 --> 00:13:20,079
Okay. He's on to you.
356
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,252
He's not on to anything.
357
00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:22,495
He's not gonna be
on to anything,
358
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,393
'cause you're not gonna
tell him. You swore.
359
00:13:24,531 --> 00:13:26,499
I don't know that
I swore, per se.
360
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:28,708
All right. Sorry.
Is everything all right?
361
00:13:28,846 --> 00:13:30,607
Basically.
Basically?
What does that mean?
362
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:31,884
Everything's fine.
363
00:13:32,022 --> 00:13:33,195
Well, what kind
of tea is this?
364
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,334
Herbal.
365
00:13:34,472 --> 00:13:36,302
Herbal? Don't you
have any Lipton?
366
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,028
The kids don't
drink the Lipton.
367
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:42,860
The bag doesn't even
have a string on it.
368
00:13:42,998 --> 00:13:44,206
So don't drink it.
369
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:49,211
All right, everybody,
look, as producer
of this film,
370
00:13:49,349 --> 00:13:52,249
it is my responsibility
to secure the release forms.
371
00:13:52,387 --> 00:13:54,976
All right? Now, Aunt Sylvia,
372
00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:58,531
what can I do to make it
more comfortable for you
to sign yours?
373
00:13:58,669 --> 00:14:00,084
It's a very simple problem.
374
00:14:00,222 --> 00:14:02,328
Either you cut
the sequence...
I'm not gonna do that.
375
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:05,814
Or, forgive me, you get
Jamie to admit the truth
376
00:14:05,952 --> 00:14:07,574
that she stole the spoon.
377
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,818
That's a fine idea,
Sylvia, except for
one thing.
378
00:14:09,956 --> 00:14:11,371
I didn't steal
the spoon.
379
00:14:11,509 --> 00:14:12,821
Right. Yeah.
380
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:14,512
But you're saying
if she did admit it,
381
00:14:14,651 --> 00:14:16,238
then you would
sign the release.
382
00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:18,171
Sweetie?
I'm just trying
to understand.
383
00:14:18,309 --> 00:14:19,483
Honey,
384
00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,105
there's nothing
to understand.
385
00:14:21,243 --> 00:14:23,625
It's not an option
because the point is
I didn't steal it.
386
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,732
Uh-huh... No. Okay.
There you are.
387
00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:31,046
Uh-uh. Listen, I saw you
admire the spoon furtively.
388
00:14:31,184 --> 00:14:33,117
And then, poof, it was gone.
389
00:14:33,255 --> 00:14:36,086
Now, I don't blame you
because it is
a gorgeous utensil.
390
00:14:36,224 --> 00:14:38,571
Yes. Yes, it was,
but I didn't steal it.
391
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:41,643
Well, it didn't
walk away by itself.
392
00:14:42,437 --> 00:14:43,680
How do you know that?
393
00:14:46,027 --> 00:14:48,477
James, come on. If you
didn't steal it, who did?
394
00:14:48,615 --> 00:14:49,996
Maybe you did.
395
00:14:50,134 --> 00:14:53,103
I did not.
I told you, let it sit.
396
00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:56,623
I always say,
let the ice cream sit.
397
00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:57,970
It softens up.
398
00:14:59,074 --> 00:15:00,351
He has always said that.
399
00:15:00,489 --> 00:15:01,905
I tried to scoop
a little bit out
with the spoon,
400
00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:04,735
it bent, and I threw it
away. My God!
401
00:15:04,873 --> 00:15:06,495
You believe her, Paulie?
402
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,359
Hmm?
Yes, of course
he does! Honey?
403
00:15:09,015 --> 00:15:10,120
Hmm.
404
00:15:10,258 --> 00:15:11,742
Why are you protecting
her, Paulie?
Hmm?
405
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,123
He's not. Sweetie?
406
00:15:13,261 --> 00:15:15,056
Hmm.
Sweetie. Honey...
407
00:15:15,884 --> 00:15:17,334
What?
408
00:15:17,472 --> 00:15:19,681
Do you want these
release forms signed,
or don't you?
409
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,510
You know, I never
liked that spoon
anyway.
410
00:15:21,648 --> 00:15:23,650
It was like
some sort of baby spoon.
411
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:28,000
All right. You know, Ma,
Jamie would not steal
because...
412
00:15:28,863 --> 00:15:29,967
Stealing is bad.
413
00:15:31,866 --> 00:15:33,971
Look, I will not
sign the release form
414
00:15:34,109 --> 00:15:36,422
unless Jamie admits
she stole the spoon...
I didn't.
415
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,906
Or you cut the sequence.
416
00:15:38,044 --> 00:15:39,701
[STAMMERING]
That's extortion!
417
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,254
That's your word,
not mine.
418
00:15:41,392 --> 00:15:42,704
You know, that reminds me.
419
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,395
That footage I saw
where I'm talking.
420
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:45,465
Yeah. It's very good.
421
00:15:45,603 --> 00:15:46,673
I look like hell!
422
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,227
You know, Paulie,
I'm not a vain man,
423
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,885
but, I don't wanna
look like a...
Like a wolfman!
424
00:15:52,093 --> 00:15:53,680
You don't...
He looked awful.
425
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,442
This is a way
to light your father?
426
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:57,961
I want you to
do it again.
427
00:15:59,548 --> 00:16:01,758
You want me to reshoot?
Yeah, yeah! Reshoot.
428
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:05,037
I'm not gonna reshoot!
429
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,453
Then I am not gonna
sign the release form,
either!
430
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:08,834
What are you talking about?
431
00:16:08,972 --> 00:16:11,284
I didn't even know
I had the option
not to sign.
432
00:16:11,422 --> 00:16:13,459
Now that I know,
I'm not signing it,
either.
433
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,116
Look, Paulie, I don't
want America to think
434
00:16:15,254 --> 00:16:16,945
that your father's
some kind of a freak!
435
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:18,775
Dad, no. Nobody's
gonna think that!
436
00:16:18,913 --> 00:16:19,845
I'll think that!
437
00:16:19,983 --> 00:16:20,949
Where are you going?
438
00:16:21,087 --> 00:16:23,158
I'm gonna go get
some real tea bags!
439
00:16:24,953 --> 00:16:26,817
Your father is very upset.
440
00:16:26,955 --> 00:16:27,922
I...
441
00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:30,614
What the...
442
00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:34,169
What?
443
00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:35,999
Nothing. Nothing.
444
00:16:36,137 --> 00:16:38,242
Just thinking about
that spoon, that's all.
445
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,451
All right, Ira...
James, please,
446
00:16:40,589 --> 00:16:42,143
would you just tell me
the truth?
447
00:16:42,281 --> 00:16:44,317
I mean, I don't care
if you stole the spoon.
I really don't.
448
00:16:44,455 --> 00:16:46,009
I just care about the movie.
449
00:16:46,147 --> 00:16:47,976
You wanna hear the truth?
Yes.
450
00:16:48,114 --> 00:16:50,185
I did not steal the spoon.
451
00:16:52,739 --> 00:16:53,671
Liar.
Bite me.
452
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,087
Hey, hey! All right.
453
00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:57,848
I'm warning both of you,
I will turn this car around.
454
00:16:57,986 --> 00:16:59,746
Hey, come on! James...
455
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:02,094
She's the only one
who had the motive,
the means,
456
00:17:02,232 --> 00:17:03,923
and the opportunity!
457
00:17:04,061 --> 00:17:05,545
Listen to you. You're nuts!
458
00:17:05,683 --> 00:17:07,375
I may be nuts,
but I'll tell you this.
459
00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:08,859
In order to sign
those release forms,
460
00:17:08,997 --> 00:17:10,619
I have got to get
to the bottom of this.
461
00:17:10,757 --> 00:17:13,001
And if I have to take
James down in the process,
462
00:17:13,139 --> 00:17:14,727
well, that's what
I'm gonna have to do.
463
00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:16,246
All right?
464
00:17:16,384 --> 00:17:17,385
[DOOR SLAMS]
465
00:17:21,699 --> 00:17:22,804
It's a spoon!
466
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,606
Oh, honey,
how sweet is this?
[TV PLAYING]
467
00:17:31,744 --> 00:17:34,609
Look how tightly
she's holding his hand.
468
00:17:34,747 --> 00:17:36,231
See? She's doing
the breathing.
469
00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:39,476
What is this
cheesy music?
470
00:17:39,614 --> 00:17:40,753
It's like porno movies.
471
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,445
I like it. It's happy.
472
00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:47,001
His father's pants
with the flares.
473
00:17:47,139 --> 00:17:49,003
It's, like, 1971,
this movie.
474
00:17:49,141 --> 00:17:52,006
So what? They're about
to have a baby.
475
00:17:52,144 --> 00:17:53,524
Look, look.
She's pushing.
476
00:17:55,147 --> 00:17:57,149
I shouldn't watch this.
477
00:17:57,287 --> 00:17:58,944
Of course you should.
Honey, this is us.
478
00:17:59,082 --> 00:18:00,669
This is the...
479
00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:02,602
My goodness.
They just show you
everything, don't they?
480
00:18:05,743 --> 00:18:07,021
What is that?
481
00:18:07,159 --> 00:18:08,263
Honey, that's the crowning.
482
00:18:08,401 --> 00:18:10,921
This is when the baby's
head finally... Whoa.
483
00:18:14,891 --> 00:18:16,927
Oh!
Holy mother of God!
484
00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:24,831
We're making great time.
485
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:25,902
We sure are.
486
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,524
Yeah. What's Amy
gonna say now?
487
00:18:27,662 --> 00:18:29,181
She'll say something,
I'm sure.
488
00:18:29,319 --> 00:18:31,424
Believe me, this dry run,
it's a piece of cake.
489
00:18:31,562 --> 00:18:32,770
We're gonna be just fine.
490
00:18:32,909 --> 00:18:34,151
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
MAN: Stop! Police!
491
00:18:34,289 --> 00:18:36,498
[TIRES SCREECH]
Out of the cab!
Out of the cab!
492
00:18:36,636 --> 00:18:38,811
What?
I need this vehicle!
Let's go!
493
00:18:38,949 --> 00:18:40,744
I'm engaged in
a high-speed pursuit!
494
00:18:40,882 --> 00:18:42,539
Let's go! Let's go, man!
495
00:18:42,677 --> 00:18:44,368
You! You!
Out of the car, now!
496
00:18:44,506 --> 00:18:46,094
Could you drop us
at Roosevelt Hospital?
497
00:18:46,232 --> 00:18:47,820
Get out!
498
00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:49,339
I gotta tell you, the chance
of this happening...
Move it! Move it!
499
00:18:49,477 --> 00:18:51,513
In an actual labor,
very slim.
500
00:18:51,651 --> 00:18:53,550
[TIRES SCREECH]
Ow! Ow! Ow!
501
00:18:53,688 --> 00:18:55,138
Honey, are you all right?
502
00:18:55,276 --> 00:18:56,656
No! My toe! Ow!
503
00:18:56,794 --> 00:18:58,624
Stay right there, sweetie.
I'm gonna get a cab.
504
00:18:58,762 --> 00:18:59,797
Stay there.
505
00:19:00,419 --> 00:19:01,351
[RINGS BELL]
506
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:02,421
Oh!
507
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:03,525
Oh, honey!
508
00:19:03,663 --> 00:19:05,182
[HORN HONKS]
509
00:19:06,735 --> 00:19:08,737
Look at me.
I'm Wile E. Coyote.
510
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,049
Sweetie, are you okay?
511
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:11,740
I've been better.
512
00:19:11,878 --> 00:19:13,363
Come on, honey.
We have to get you
to the hospital.
513
00:19:13,501 --> 00:19:14,502
I'm gonna get a cab.
514
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:15,952
No. Maybe I could
get hit by a boat.
515
00:19:16,918 --> 00:19:18,023
Right here! Taxi!
516
00:19:19,645 --> 00:19:21,716
Sweetie, get in.
Okay. All right. Okay.
517
00:19:25,168 --> 00:19:26,514
Roosevelt Hospital,
please?
518
00:19:27,411 --> 00:19:28,516
Roosevelt Island?
519
00:19:33,762 --> 00:19:36,248
All right, Mr. Buchman,
I'm gonna have to wrap
your foot.
520
00:19:36,386 --> 00:19:37,974
It might hurt
a little bit. Okay?
Okay.
521
00:19:38,112 --> 00:19:40,010
That's to be expected...
Ow! Okay.
522
00:19:40,148 --> 00:19:41,908
Don't you think
I should be knocked out
for this?
523
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,497
It's just a small bruise,
Mr. Buchman.
524
00:19:44,635 --> 00:19:45,774
I know, but still...
525
00:19:45,912 --> 00:19:46,879
Now, does this hurt?
526
00:19:47,017 --> 00:19:49,295
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I need something.
527
00:19:49,433 --> 00:19:51,332
Honey, I'm right here.
528
00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:52,850
It hurts!
I know it does.
529
00:19:52,989 --> 00:19:55,094
Ow! Ow! Ow!
I know, sweetie.
530
00:19:55,232 --> 00:19:57,752
Almost done,
Mr. Buchman.
Honey, breathe, breathe...
531
00:20:02,757 --> 00:20:04,207
That's it. You're doing good.
You're doing good.
532
00:20:04,345 --> 00:20:05,380
You're doing good.
533
00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:08,694
There you go, Mr. Buchman.
All done.
534
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,351
Okay. I just made
a very big decision.
Uh-huh.
535
00:20:10,489 --> 00:20:12,456
Next time I go through
this, I'm getting
the epidural.
536
00:20:17,737 --> 00:20:20,602
Here I was, a guest
in your house,
537
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:22,225
meeting you all
for the first time,
538
00:20:22,363 --> 00:20:25,469
and I commit this
unconscionable act.
539
00:20:25,607 --> 00:20:27,230
You must have felt
540
00:20:27,368 --> 00:20:29,232
very violated.
541
00:20:29,370 --> 00:20:31,096
And I know that...
542
00:20:31,234 --> 00:20:33,753
That we've had
a rocky relationship
at times,
543
00:20:33,891 --> 00:20:35,652
but that's no excuse
for what I did.
544
00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:39,932
I apologize profusely,
and I hope that someday
545
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:42,417
I'll be able to win back
your trust.
546
00:20:46,421 --> 00:20:48,320
What? It's a spoon.
547
00:20:50,598 --> 00:20:51,875
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
548
00:20:53,394 --> 00:20:55,499
That's what I said
the whole time.
549
00:20:56,811 --> 00:20:58,295
I got it. I got it.
I got it.
550
00:20:58,433 --> 00:21:00,125
You got what?
It was Uncle Burt.
551
00:21:00,263 --> 00:21:01,609
Me?
Ira, she...
552
00:21:01,747 --> 00:21:03,128
Paulie, think about it.
553
00:21:03,266 --> 00:21:05,613
Aunt Sylvia was
infatuated with JFK.
554
00:21:05,751 --> 00:21:07,787
Now, Uncle Burt, you knew
you would never be the man
555
00:21:07,925 --> 00:21:09,651
that JFK was in her eyes.
556
00:21:09,789 --> 00:21:11,584
Ira...
What? And that
consumed you.
557
00:21:11,722 --> 00:21:14,863
The rage, the jealousy.
It ate away at your insides.
You had to lash out.
558
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:16,624
Ira...
And so you copped
the spoon.
559
00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:18,867
The spoon that
she loved, the spoon
that she cherished.
560
00:21:19,005 --> 00:21:20,697
Ira!
You stole the spoon,
didn't you, Uncle Burt?
561
00:21:20,835 --> 00:21:21,801
Huh? Didn't you?
562
00:21:21,939 --> 00:21:23,493
Ira! She already confessed.
563
00:21:24,045 --> 00:21:25,046
Oh, really?
564
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:29,085
Oh. Well, that was
my first guess.
565
00:21:30,327 --> 00:21:32,260
Anyway, as I was saying...
566
00:21:33,503 --> 00:21:35,194
I think this belongs to you.
567
00:21:35,332 --> 00:21:36,506
Here you go, Sylvia.
568
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:41,269
This isn't my spoon.
569
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:44,272
Pardon me?
What?
570
00:21:46,343 --> 00:21:48,242
It's an Elvis Presley spoon.
571
00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:51,279
Wait a minute.
This is my spoon!
572
00:21:51,417 --> 00:21:53,247
I thought I lost this.
573
00:21:53,385 --> 00:21:55,180
What the hell are you
doing with my spoon?
574
00:22:15,717 --> 00:22:17,271
No. No!
575
00:22:17,409 --> 00:22:20,446
Where are you going?
I live on Roosevelt Island!
576
00:22:20,584 --> 00:22:23,173
Yes! Roosevelt Hospital.
Don't worry.
577
00:22:29,317 --> 00:22:31,319
[MUSIC PLAYING]
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