All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S05E13.1080p.WEBRip.x265-KONTRAST.eng

(chorus) * JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE
BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY *

* OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH *

MAKE SURE AS YOU STAND
THAT YOU FACE EACH OTHER.

IT'S A PET PEEVE OF MINE
WHEN COUPLES LOOK LIKE THEY'RE--

THEY'RE GOING OFF
IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS

EVEN DURING THE CEREMONY.

OKAY, THEN. NOW YOU'RE GOING
TO BE GIVING HER AWAY.
UH-HUH.

AND YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE GROOM.

AND THAT WOULD MAKE YOU
THE JEW.

RABBI. RABBI.
OH, I'M SO SORRY.

OH, MY GOD. I CERTAINLY HOPE
YOU WILL ACCEPT MY APOLOGY.

MAY I BE REALLY HONEST,
FATHER?

I'M NOT HAPPY AT ALL
WITH THIS UNION.
RABBI?

THERE'S A VERY OLD JOKE--
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL

THE CHILD OF A JEW
AND A CHRISTIAN?
HERE WE GO.

A CHRISTIAN.
(laughs)

ASSIMILATION. SEE?
DIDN'T I TELL YOU?
FATHER.

EXCUSE ME?
DO YOU KNOW THE MOST OPPRESSED
RELIGION IN AMERICA TODAY?

CHRISTIANITY.

OH.
FATHER.

(Denny) HEAR, HEAR.
IT'S CHRISTMASTIME.

YOU KNOW, CHRISTMAS HAS
BECOME VERBOTEN.

YOU CAN'T EVEN SAY THE WORD.
INTERESTING.
HE SPEAKS GERMAN.

WHAT?
RABBI.

(Shirley) MAYBE WE SHOULD
ALL START OVER.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT YOU MEANT BY THAT.

WELL, IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.
I JUST HAVE A LITTLE PEEVE OVER

HOW THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TURNED
ITS BACK ON THE HOLOCAUST.
I LOVE IT. A HOLY WAR.

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

HAS BEEN UNWAVERING
IN ITS SUPPORT OF ISRAEL,

AT GREAT RISK TO AMERICA,
I MIGHT ADD.
FATHER.

MUCH OF THE VIOLENCE
DIRECTED AT OUR COUNTRY

STEMS FROM OUR SUPPORT
OF ISRAEL,

SUPPORT WHICH IS
SURELY AS DISPROPORTIONATE--

SINCE ISRAEL PROBABLY DOESN'T
EVEN NEED TO EXIST ANYMORE.
OOH, THAT SHOULD SEAL IT.

DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY
ISRAEL SHOULDN'T EXIST?

RABBI...
COME ON, RABBI.

I MEAN, IT WAS CREATED AS
A REFUGE, A SAFE HAVEN FOR JEWS.

JEWS ARE DOING FINE NOW.
SO WHAT'S THE POINT?

***

IT WAS UGLY.
THE RABBI STORMED OUT.

THE PRIEST REFUSED TO GIVE
SHIRLEY THE USE OF THE CHURCH.

WHY WERE YOU REHEARSING
ON A WEDNESDAY?

DON'T THOSE THINGS U--
BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE AT
THE SUPREME COURT ON FRIDAY...

(laughs) RIGHT.
FILLING A DRUG PRESCRIPTION.

CHECK OUT THE HARELIP
ON THAT CLERK.

DENNY, DO NOT
SAY ANYTHING OFFENSIVE.

LET'S JUST GET THIS DONE
WITHOUT INCIDENT.

MAY I HELP YOU?

YES, WE'D LIKE TO APPLY
FOR A MOUSTACHE--

A M-MARRIAGE LICENSE.

YOU TWO
ARE GETTING MARRIED?

IS THERE A REASON
WE SHOULDN'T?
OTHER THAN MAYBE YOU AND I
SHOULD GET TOGETHER?

DENNY...

WE PLAN AN OPEN-DOOR MARRIAGE.
MY CARD.

YOU'RE HETEROSEXUAL.
ARE YOU HETEROSEXUAL?

IS THAT A PROBLEM?

HE COMPLETES ME.

***

BOOM.

(makes popping noise)

YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?
IS THAT WRONG?

WELL, YES.
(Alan) WHY?

WELL, IT'S A SHAM, ALAN.
IT IS NOT A SHAM.

YES, IT IS NO DIFFERENT
THAN TWO PEOPLE

WHO AREN'T REALLY
IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER

MARRYING FOR A GREEN CARD.
FIRST OF ALL, I LOVE DENNY.
I BELIEVE HE LOVES ME.

AND THERE'S NO REQUIREMENT
THAT A COUPLE BE IN LOVE.

IN FACT, GIVEN THE CURRENT
DIVORCE RATE, ONE MIGHT SAY

THE MOST INSIDIOUS PROBLEM
WITH MARRIAGE IS THAT PEOPLE

MAKE LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS
WHILE IN LOVE.

IT'S A DRUG,
A TOXIC ONE AT THAT,

AND SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN
TO WEAR OFF.

WHAT'S TOXIC IS YOUR CYNICISM.

I THINK YOUR LITTLE SCHEME
IS DISHONEST.

YOU'VE BEEN
A LITTLE TESTY OF LATE.

DO ALL BRIDES GET ORNERY?
I AM--

UH, YOU KNOW, LET'S JUST
MOVE ON, SHALL WE?

AS YOU KNOW, THE SALE OF
THE FIRM TO TSU INTERNATIONAL

HAS BEEN FINALIZED.

A NEW HEAD OF LITIGATION
IS EXPECTED TO BE APPOINTED,

OSTENSIBLY TO WATCHDOG US--
I SUDDENLY LIKE
THE NEW DIRECTION OF THE FIRM.

UM, I HAVE A DOCUMENT FOR
MR. SHORE AND MR. CRANE?

I'LL TAKE IT. THANK YOU.

(rustles paper)

YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
WHAT IS IT?

IT'S NOTICE OF
AN INJUNCTION PROCEEDING

SEEKING TO STOP DENNY AND ME
FROM GETTING MARRIED.
WHAT?

THAT CITY HALL CLERK
MUST HAVE RATTED US OUT.

(Shirley) WHO'S FILING?

THE MASSACHUSETTS CHAPTER
OF THE GAY AND LESBIAN LEAGUE.

EXCUSE ME?

OF ALL THE HYPOCRISY.

KATIE, PULL UP WHATEVER LAW
YOU CAN ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE.

JERRY AND I WILL STAY FOCUSED
ON THE SUPREME COURT CASE.

AS IF WE HAVEN'T GOT
ENOUGH TO DO.
ARE WE DONE HERE?

UH... (clears throat)
WE HAVE ONE MORE ITEM.

THE NEW MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED
TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE FIRM.

TO WHAT?

LET ME JUST PREFACE THIS
BY SAYING THAT PERSONALLY,

I WANT MY NAME OFF THE FIRM...
(chuckles) SO...

TO WHAT?

CHANG, POOLE & SCHMIDT.

***

CHANG, POOLE & SCHMIDT?

(chuckles)
I SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND...

THE LOGIC.

YOUR NAME HAS
SUCH RECOGNITION VALUE.

I'VE DESTROYED IT,
HAVEN'T I, MY NAME?

NO, YOU HAVEN'T.

YOU KNOW...

HALF THE STUFF I DO,

THE... NONSENSE WITH THE SEX
AND...

IT'S TO APPEAR COLORFUL
AND LARGER THAN LIFE,

TO--TO DISTRACT PEOPLE...

FROM HOW TRULY SMALL
I'VE BECOME.

I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET YOU SULK
AND RUIN MY WEDDING DAY.

(chuckles)
WE'LL OPEN OUR OWN FIRM.

WE DON'T NEED THEM.
WE'LL OVERTURN IT.

THE SUPREME COURT WILL NEVER
SIDE WITH THE CHINESE ON THIS.

NO WAY.

DENNY, WE'RE GOING TO
THE SUPREME COURT

TO GET THE DRUG.

I KNOW THAT.

I'M JUST SAYING...

***

WELL?

(sighs)

HE NOW SAYS
THAT HE MIGHT MARRY US,

BUT NOT IN THE CHURCH,

WHICH IS, OF COURSE,
WHAT I WANTED MOST.

ALL RIGHT.
SO WE FIND ANOTHER CHURCH.

UH, CARL, D-DID YOU THINK

IT WAS REALLY
THE SMARTEST IDEA

TO BRING IN
THAT PARTICULAR RABBI?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, HE'S A FLAMING BIGOT.
OH.

I MEAN, THE CATHOLICS ARE
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HOLOCAUST?

HE DIDN'T SAY
THEY WERE RESPONSIBLE.

HE SAID THEY TURNED THEIR BACKS,
WHICH IS TRUE.

CAN WE DISCUSS THE PRIEST'S
LITTLE GEM?

ISRAEL DOESN'T NEED TO EXIST?
WELL, THAT'S
A POLITICAL ARGUMENT.

POLITICAL?
YES, AND MANY PEOPLE
HAVE EXPRESSED IT.

OH!
PALESTINIANS LIVING IN ISRAEL
WILL SOON OUTNUMBER THE JEWS.

THE IDEA OF IT CONTINUING
AS A JEWISH STATE--
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M HEARING THIS.

WELL, UH, CERTAINLY,
YOU'VE HEARD IT BEFORE.
NOT FROM YOU.

I'M NOT SUPPORTING THE IDEA--
OH, NO, BUT YOU'RE DEFENDING
A PRIEST WHO IS...

PLEASE DO NOT RAISE
YOUR VOICE AT ME.
SUPPORTING IT, AND YOU'RE
CALLING THE RABBI A BIGOT?

YEAH, A BIG ONE.
REALLY? FIRST THE CHINESE.
NOW THE JEWS. WHO'S NEXT?

YOU. GET OUT.

OH, WITH PLEASURE.

(door slams)

***

SO BASICALLY, THIS MARRIAGE
IS ALL ABOUT MONEY?

JUDGE, I WOULD GUESS
A LOT OF MARRIAGES ARE.

IF YOU TRACE THE INSTITUTION
TO ITS ORIGINS,

YOU'LL DISCOVER THAT MARRIAGE
HAD ITS ROOTS IN ECONOMICS.

NOT LOVE, MONEY.

I FIND IT OFFENSIVE.
WHY?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

SPEAKING AS A GAY MAN, WE HAVE
HAD TO FIGHT LONG AND HARD

FOR THIS RIGHT.

WE HAVE SUFFERED RIDICULE,
HATRED, GAY BASHING.

YOU'RE PREACHING TO
THE ALL-BOYS CHOIR.

WE'RE WITH YOU ON THAT.
NO, YOU'RE MAKING
A MOCKERY OF IT BY--

WE'RE DOING NO SUCH THING.
YOU'RE BLATANT HETEROSEXUALS.

SO WHAT?
ARE YOU PROPOSING A RULE

THAT EVERY COUPLE BE SEXUALLY
ACTIVE OR PROCREATIONAL?

'CAUSE THAT ONE'S
BEEN USED AGAINST YOU.

YOUR HONOR, THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT

AND CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENTS
HAVE BEEN WARNING OF.

IF WE ALLOW SAME-SEX MARRIAGE,
WHAT NEXT?

WELL, THIS IS WHAT'S NEXT.

YOU WILL SEE PEOPLE EXPLOITING
SAME-SEX UNIONS TO CIRCUMVENT--
YOU HYPOCRITE.

ALL RIGHT.
HE'S SUGGESTING WE GO INTO
SOME KIND OF DISCOVERY

AS TO WHY TWO PEOPLE
WANT TO MARRY,

THE VERY KIND
OF INVASIVE LEGISLATION--

THIS DOES SEEM A BIT CYNICAL.

YOU ARE BASICALLY WANTING
TO MARRY DENNY CRANE

TO SKIRT TAX LAWS.

YOUR HONOR,
IN THIS DAY AND AGE,

THE PRESERVATION OF WEALTH
IS PARAMOUNT.

AND I'M SORRY, BEFORE I SEE
MR. CRANE'S MONEY

GO TO FUND I-IMMORAL WARS

OR LESS MORAL
GOVERNMENT BAILOUTS,

I'D RATHER SEE IT GO TO ME.

THE PLANS I HAVE FOR IT
ARE FAR MORE PHILANTHROPIC.

AND BY THE WAY,
I LOVE HIM, OKAY?

I LOVE THE MAN. HE LOVES ME.
WE'RE PARTNERS.

TO SAY THAT
WE CANNOT GET MARRIED

BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE SEX
IS, UH,

JUST AS PREPOSTEROUS
AND BIGOTED AS BANNING MARRIAGE

BASED ON WHO A PERSON
CHOOSES TO HAVE SEX WITH.

HE WILL BE FUELING THE FIRE
TO PASS

A CONSTITUTIONAL BAN AGAINST--
YOU'RE THE ONE
STOKING THE EMBERS.

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH,
THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT MONEY.

THERE ARE MEDICAL REASONS.

HE HAPPENS TO BE SUFFERING
FROM AN INCURABLE ILLNESS--
YOU CAN DO THAT BY PROXY.

HE DOESN'T WANT TO. HE WANTS
A PARTNER, A LEGAL SPOUSE.

WHY?
THAT'S HIS PREROGATIVE,
HIS PRIVACY.

DO YOU SEEK
TO INVADE THAT, TOO?
ALL RIGHT.
I HAVE HEARD THE ARGUMENTS.

LET ME TAKE AN HOUR,
AND I WILL DECIDE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'LL BE STIRRING UP.

ALL RIGHT.

***

***

IS SHE NOT BEAUTIFUL?

WHO IS SHE?

OPPOSING COUNSEL.

SHE'S ARGUING
FOR THE GOVERNMENT.

FLYING IN FROM TENNESSEE.
IT'S ALL GOOD, ALAN.

SHE'S HOT, AND DOCTORS SAY
BLOOD FLOW IN ANY DIRECTION

IS GOOD FOR MY BRAIN.
ARE YOU PACKED?

'CAUSE WE'RE GOING STRAIGHT
FROM COURT TO THE AIRPORT.

WILL YOU STOP NAGGING ME?
WE'RE NOT MARRIED YET.
JUST GET PACKED.

***

THIS IS CRAZY.

NEITHER OF US
ARE VERY RELIGIOUS PEOPLE.

WE'VE NEVER EVEN
TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE.

WHY ARE WE LETTING THIS
NONSENSE STAND IN OUR WAY?

WELL, MOST PEOPLE
DON'T TALK ABOUT RELIGION,

AND IT DOESN'T ENTER
INTO OUR DAILY LIVES,

BUT IT IS
NEVERTHELESS A VALUE,

AND IT'S OBVIOUS

THAT YOU AND I HAVE
DIFFERENT VALUES, CARL.

RELIGION'S NOT A VALUE.

SPIRITUALITY? YES.
BELIEF IN GOD? OKAY.

BUT RELIGION ITSELF? UH...
IT'S A DISCIPLINE,

ONE THAT PRETENDS TO BE
ABOUT LOVE, FAMILY AND CHARITY,

TOO OFTEN IS A VEHICLE
OF HATRED AND WAR.

(laughs) YEAH, WELL,
IT'S STIRRING UP

A LITTLE WAR RIGHT NOW
BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
(mutters)

AND IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF

THAT IT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT
TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS,

BUT YOU GET ALL YOUR Y--
YOM KIPPUR,

ROSH HASHANAH, HANUKKAH,
PASSOVER.

MY GOD, YOU HAVE
A GAZILLION OF THEM.

(mutters)

(exhales deeply) PAUL.

LITTLE BIT OF GOOD NEWS.

THE... DREADED MONSTER

THAT THEY'RE BRINGING IN
TO OVERSEE LITIGATION?

DO WE KNOW WHO IT IS?

WE DO. ME.

AH.
FOR WHATEVER REASON,
I SEEM TO HAVE THEIR TRUST.

WELL, THAT--
THAT IS GOOD NEWS.

YES.

IS THERE BAD NEWS?

SHIRLEY, I DON'T THINK
I CAN SAVE DENNY.

WELL, THEN IT'S A MOOT POINT,
FIGHTING FOR ME OR ALAN

OR CARL, PROBABLY JERRY,
MAYBE KATIE.

IF YOU TALKED TO THE OTHERS--
I WON'T.

(sighs) SHIRLEY, COME ON.

WE'VE GOT TO FACE IT
THAT DENNY--

COULD GET BETTER.

IF HE GETS THIS DRUG--
IT IS SHOWING A LOT OF PROMISE--

DENNY COULD IMPROVE.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK,

I DO FIND THIS UNION TO BE
PRIMARILY BASED ON MONEY.

I ALSO AGREE WITH MR. PINNARD--

THIS IS THE EXACT KIND
OF EXPLOITATION

THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT
AND OTHERS FEARED.

BUT I ALSO RECOGNIZE, PEOPLE
MARRY FOR ALL SORTS OF REASONS.

IT'S NOT THE GOVERNMENT'S PLACE
TO ASK WHY.

MR. PINNARD, THERE ARE MANY GAYS
WHO MARRY HETEROSEXUALS.

ALSO GAYS WHO MARRY GAYS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

BECAUSE THEY WANT TO START
A FAMILY, BE CO-PARENTS--

NOTHING TO DO
WITH ROMANTIC LOVE.

I HARDLY THINK YOU BELIEVE
THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD STEP IN

AND STOP THAT.

SAME-SEX UNIONS ARE LEGAL
IN MASSACHUSETTS.

YOUR MOTION FOR AN INJUNCTION
IS DENIED.

(Mendelssohn's
"Wedding March from

'A Midsummer Night's Dream'"
playing)

THE DOCK ON NIMMO BAY.

WE'LL GO DIRECTLY FROM D.C.

WE'RE GONNA NEED SOMEBODY
FROM MASSACHUSETTS

TO PERFORM THE CEREMONY.

YOUR HONOR, BY ANY CHANCE
DO YOU LIKE TO FISH?

(man speaking foreign language)

YOU CAN KEEP THE OTHERS
IF YOU FEEL IT IS WARRANTED,

BUT DENNY CRANE
ABSOLUTELY MUST GO.

THE LAWYERS HERE ARE
EXTREMELY LOYAL TO HIM.

(translates
in foreign language)

IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE MAN
IS MENTALLY UNBALANCED.

HE'S A DANGER TO HIMSELF
AND OTHERS

AND CANNOT BE ALLOWED
TO STAY.
I WILL TELL YOU THIS
RIGHT NOW--

I WOULD NOT WANT TO RISK
LOSING ALAN SHORE.

(translates)
...ALAN SHORE.

MR. SHORE...
(speaking foreign language)
MR. SHORE NEEDS TO BE
REINED IN.

WE UNDERSTAND HE IS
A BRILLIANT ATTORNEY,

BUT HE IS UNDISCIPLINED...

AND ALSO NEEDS OVERSEEING.

WE ARE NOT AFRAID
TO LOSE HIM

IF WE MUST, IN TIME.

***

DENNY, SHOULDN'T WE JUST
GO UP TO THE ROOM?

WE'VE GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.

NOT TO MENTION, I DON'T WANT TO
LOOK PUFFY ON MY WEDDING DAY.

LET'S GET A NIGHTCAP.
IT'LL SETTLE OUR NERVES.

I HEAR HILLARY COMES HERE.
(laughs) DENNY, SHE D--

I JUST WANT TO MEET HER ONCE
BEFORE YOU AND I--

YOU KNOW,
I THINK SHE'D LIKE ME.

I HAVE A FEELING ABOUT US.
YOU AND HILLARY?

YEAH. WE'RE B--

WHAT?

THAT'S HER.

HILLARY?

UH, WONDER GIRL
FROM TENNESSEE.

SHE'S AT THE BAR. BET SHE'S
STAYING AT THE SAME HOTEL.

WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IF I COULD MAKE HER SEE ME
AS A HUMAN BEING,

SHE'LL HAVE MERCY
ON OUR CASE TOMORROW.
BUT SHE WON'T SEE YOU
AS A HUMAN BEING.

YOU'LL REVEAL YOURSELF TO BE
THE ANIMAL THAT YOU ARE.
OH, GIVE ME SOME CREDIT,
WILL YOU, PLEASE?

YOU KNOW, I--I'M GOING
UP TO THE ROOM.

I'VE GOT TOO MUCH TO GO OVER--
I'LL SEE YOU UP THERE.

DENNY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO THAT WOMAN

THAT SHE COULD USE
AGAINST US TOMORROW.
I WON'T. (clicks tongue)

(instrumental version

of "Oh, Little Town
of Bethlehem" playing)

DOUBLE SCOTCH.

***

MITCH SHOEMAKER. HELLO.

IT'D BE A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU,
MITCH, IF I HAD TIME.

UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T.
THANKS.
WHATEVER SHE'S DRINKING.

SHE'S NOT.

***

LOOK, I'M NOT HITTING ON YOU.

I'M OLD ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR GRANDFATHER.

(sighs)

IN FACT, YOU REMIND ME
OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER.

HAVE YOU GOT A GRANDPA?
IS HE IN GOOD HEALTH?

A LOT OF THEM AREN'T.

MITCH, UH...
CAN I CALL YOU MITCH?

'CAUSE YOU LOOK
MORE LIKE A DENNY TO ME.

MM. HOW'D YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE VERY FAMOUS.

WELL, I WON'T BORE YOU
WITH MY USUAL NONSENSE.

YOU SEEM LIKE
A VERY NICE YOUNG LADY.

I HAVE,
UM, ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

OVER FIVE MILLION AMERICANS DO,
INCLUDING MY OWN GRANDMOTHER.

SO Y-YOU KNOW.

HOW CAN YOU, UH,

TAKE THE POSITION YOU'RE TAKING
IF--IF YOU KNOW?

I WOULD THINK

YOU'D WANT YOUR GRANDMOTHER
TO HAVE DIMEBOLIN.

HAVE YOU HEARD THE DATA? IT--IT
HELPS WITH COGNITION, MEMORY.

COULD BE A LIFESAVER.

AND IT'S ONLY COMPLETED
TWO TRIALS.

THERE'S STILL A LOT OF TESTING
THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

WHAT STAGE IS SHE IN,
YOUR GRANDMA?

3.

THEN SHE'S LUCID ENOUGH
TO KNOW

WHAT YOU'LL BE ARGUING
TOMORROW.

I'M NOT GOING TO DISCUSS
MY FAMILY WITH YOU, MR. CRANE.

WHAT I CAN TELL YOU...
THERE'S A VERY HUMAN FACE

ON EVERY ONE
OF THOSE FIVE MILLION PEOPLE,

INCLUDING YOU.

AND TOMORROW, I'LL BE FIGHTING
FOR ALL OF THEM, INCLUDING YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. CRANE.

WE'LL SEE YOU
IN THE GREAT HALL.

***

OYEZ, OYEZ, OYEZ.

ALL PERSONS HAVING BUSINESS
BEFORE THE HONORABLE...

DO YOU THINK
THEY REMEMBER US?
THE SUPREME COURT
OF THE UNITED STATES...

HOW COULD THEY NOT?
ARE ADMONISHED TO DRAW NEAR
AND GIVE THEIR ATTENTION...

LOOK AT GINSBURG.

FOR THE COURT IS NOW SITTING.
DOES THE WOMAN
NOT WANT ME?

GOD SAVE THE UNITED STATES
AND THIS HONORABLE COURT.
THE WOMAN'S IN HEAT.

CLARENCE LOOKS LIKE
HE WANTS YOU, TOO, DENNY.

CHECK OUT SCALIA.
CHEERY McCHUCKLES.

***

ALITO LOOKS GLAD TO SEE US.

GOD, IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK.

ALL RIGHT, MS. BROOKS,
LET'S START WITH YOU.

THANK YOU,
MR. CHIEF JUSTICE.

MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT,

THE RIGHT OF THE TERMINALLY ILL
TO USE EXPERIMENTAL DRUGS

IS NOWHERE GUARANTEED
IN OUR CONSTITUTION.
SO WHAT?

DOES EVERY RIGHT HAVE TO BE
BESTOWED BY THE CONSTITUTION?

CERTAINLY NOT, YOUR HONOR,
BUT IN THE ABSENCE OF ANY LAW

OR LEGISLATIVE INTENT,
WHICH PROVIDES--
COME ON, COUNSEL.

IF THIS MAN IS DYING
OF AN INCURABLE DISEASE,

WHY NOT GIVE HIM
THE UNAPPROVED DRUG?

WHO DOES IT HURT?
FIRST OF ALL, MR. CRANE IS NOT
NECESSARILY TERMINAL. HE'S--

YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT
ALZHEIMER'S WE DON'T?

I KNOW THE DISEASE
CAN TAKE UNPREDICTABLE COURSES,

PARTICULARLY WHEN IT COMES
TO PROGRESSION.
AND ALL WITH THE SAME ENDING.

THE F.D.A. BANS EXPERIMENTAL
DRUG USE WITH GOOD REASON,

BECAUSE THIS DOES NOT JUST
INVOLVE THE INDIVIDUAL PATIENT.

IF UNTESTED DRUGS
ARE SUDDENLY MADE AVAILABLE,

PEOPLE WILL FORGO ENTERING
INTO CLINICAL DRUG TRIALS.

PROMISING DRUGS
MIGHT NOT BE STUDIED,

AND THEREFORE,
NEVER REACH THE MARKET.

THAT HURTS--
OVER FIVE MILLION PEOPLE
HAVE ALZHEIMER'S.

SOMETHING TELLS ME

WE'D HAVE PLENTY OF SUBJECTS
FOR CLINICAL TRIALS.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
JUSTICE SCALIA,

IF PEOPLE CAN SIMPLY
BUY THE DRUG,

THEY WON'T CHOOSE TO ENTER
INTO A CLINICAL STUDY

WHERE THEY COULD RISK
GETTING A PLACEBO.

WHY SHOULDN'T A PERSON HAVE
A RIGHT TO MEDICAL SELF-DEFENSE?

THIS COURT
REJECTED THAT RIGHT IN--

IN MARIJUANA CASES WHERE THERE
WERE OTHER TREATMENTS AVAILABLE.

WE LET WOMEN
ABORT VIABLE FETUSES

TO PROTECT THEIR OWN LIVES.

A PERSON MAY SHOOT AN ATTACKER
DEAD IN SELF-DEFENSE.

SHOULDN'T THIS MAN BE ABLE
TO TAKE A DRUG

TO SAVE HIMSELF,

UH, ESPECIALLY, IF, UH,
IT'S HIS ONLY HOPE?

NO. FIRST OF ALL, DYING PEOPLE
ARE WILLING TO ASSUME ANY RISK,

INCLUDING TAKING DANGEROUS,
UNTESTED DRUGS,

WHICH COULD KILL THEM SOONER.

BUT AGAIN,
WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE--

THE DOWNSIDE IS CLINICAL TRIALS
GET SHORTCHANGED,

INTERFERED WITH.

THE SAFETY AND EFFICACY
OF THESE DRUGS IS AT STAKE,

NOT TO MENTION
MILLIONS OF LIVES.

MY GRANDMOTHER HAS ALZHEIMER'S.

SHE'S ONE
OF THOSE FIVE MILLION PEOPLE.

SHE SITS AT HOME
WAITING FOR A CURE,

DESPERATE FOR F.D.A. APPROVAL,
WHICH COULD VERY WELL BE DELAYED

BY LETTING...

WE'VE SEEN HOW
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES WORK.

IT'S NOT ABOUT FINDING CURES

SO MUCH AS IT IS
FINDING MARKETS, SELLING.

IF THEY GET TO PEDDLE
PROMISING BUT UNTESTED DRUGS,

WE ALL KNOW THEY'LL DO IT.

DRUGS THAT ENGENDER
FALSE HOPES,

ONES WITH HIGHER PROFIT MARGINS
IF THEY GET TO SKIP THE TESTING.

INVESTORS WILL PUMP THEIR MONEY

INTO SNAKE OILS
THAT DRESS UP WELL.

THIS IS NOT A SCRUPULOUS
INDUSTRY, YOUR HONOR.

THEY MOST CERTAINLY
DON'T DESERVE

A PASS ON CLINICAL TRAILS,

AND THAT IS
WHAT WILL EFFECTIVELY HAPPEN

IF UNTESTED DRUGS
ARE OKAYED BY THIS COURT.
THIS WOMAN IS GOOD.

***

WOULD YOU FORGIVE
A BRIDEZILLA

GOING A LITTLE NUTS
DURING HER WEDDING WEEK?

I'M SORRY, CARL.

I WANTED TO GET MARRIED
IN A CHURCH.

I WANTED EVERYTHING
TO BE SO PERFECT

BECAUSE I'M MARRYING
THE GREATEST MAN

I HAVE EVER KNOWN AND LOVED
AND...

DO YOU STILL WANT ME?

OF COURSE I WANT YOU.

IF--IF YOU WANT

TO RAISE THE KIDS JEWISH,
I'M OKAY WITH THAT.

(gasps) EVEN WITH ALL
THE GAZILLIONS OF HOLIDAYS?

(laughs)

THE ONLY THING

I REALLY CARE ABOUT--

I-I DO WANT
TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS--

BUT THERE'S ONE THING
I REALLY CARE ABOUT,

AND THAT IS GETTING TO SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.

SO IF YOU WANT TO ELOPE,
LET'S DO IT.

I TALKED TO DENNY.

HE AND ALAN HAVE A JUDGE,

AND THEY'RE FLYING UP TO
NIMMO BAY TO GET MARRIED.

HE PROPOSES WE JOIN,
MAKE IT A JOINT CEREMONY.

MAYBE WE SHOULD.

OH, YES!

I HAD MY HEART SET
ON A CHURCH,

BUT FAILING THAT,
A FISHING LODGE.

(laughs) IT'S NOT JUST
A FISHING LODGE, I'M TOLD.

SHIRLEY, WE COULD BE MARRIED
BY THIS TIME SATURDAY.

HMM.

YOU'VE CERTAINLY COME
A LONG WAY, MR. FUDDY-DUDDY.

OH, DARLING, WHO KNOWS
HOW MUCH LONGER

WE'LL ALL BE TOGETHER?

A ROAD TRIP COULD BE FUN.

***

WE ALREADY HAVE A PROBLEM
IN THIS COUNTRY

OF RUSHING UNSAFE DRUGS
TO THE MARKET--IT'S EPIDEMIC.

AND AS SOON
AS WE ALLOW PATIENTS,

ESPECIALLY THE DESPERATE ONES,
TO EXEMPT DRUGS FROM TESTING,

IT IS GOING TO GET
EXPONENTIALLY WORSE.

FEWER PEOPLE WILL BE SAVED.
RATHER, MORE WILL DIE.

SCIENCE TRUMPED BY FALSE HOPE
AND PERMISSIVE ADVERTISING AND--

MS. BROOKS, THE RED LIGHT
HAS BEEN ON FOR SOME TIME.

IF I COULD JUST ADD--

NO. YOU'VE EXCEEDED
YOUR LIMIT.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GET A LITTLE
BAND TO PLAY PEOPLE OFF,

YOU KNOW, LIKE THE OSCARS
OR THE EMMYS.

JUST A THOUGHT.

***

OKAY,
BEFORE WE EVEN GET STARTED,

LET'S BE CLEAR
ON A FEW THINGS.

THIS TIME, YOU WILL CONDUCT
YOURSELF IN A MANNER

BEFITTING THIS COURT.

YOU WILL ADDRESS ONLY THE ISSUES
BEFORE THIS COURT

AND NOT DERAIL YOURSELF
WITH A SPIRALING RANT

THAT SERVES NO PURPOSE
OTHER THAN... WHAT IS THAT?

OH. (laughs)
I'M VERY SORRY.

I HAVE A-A TENDENCY TO NOT,
UH, NOTICE THE LITTLE RED LIGHT,

UH, SO I PROGRAMMED MY TIE

TO ALSO ALERT ME
WHEN I'VE BEEN TALKING TOO LONG.

EVIDENTLY, MY TIE THINKS THAT
YOU HAVE. THOUGH PERSONALLY, I--
TURN IT OFF. RIGHT NOW.

YES, SIR.

WE GO WAY BACK.

OKAY, MR. SHORE, YOUR TIME
IS STARTING RIGHT NOW.

USE IT WISELY.

THANK YOU, MR. CHIEF JUSTICE.

LET ME BEGIN

BY EXTENDING A SPECIAL GREETING
TO JUSTICE THOMAS.

JUSTICE THOMAS.

STILL THE CHATTY CATHY. OKAY.

WHERE TO BEGIN.
LET'S BEGIN WITH YOUR BRIEF,

WHICH WAS CONSPICUOUSLY THIN
ON CASE LAW.

THAT'S BECAUSE MOST OF
THE CASE LAW DOESN'T SUPPORT US.

BUT LET'S BE HONEST,

THIS COURT ISN'T THAT BIG ON
PRECEDENT ANYWAY, AM I RIGHT?

I MEAN, WE'VE HAD 200 YEARS
OF THE SUPREME COURT.

NOT ONE FOUND A CONSTITUTIONAL
RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS,

BUT YOU HAPPEN TO LIKE GUNS,
SO WHAT THE HELL? (chuckles)

ESTABLISHED CASE LAW
ALSO, UH, TELLS US

THAT TORTURE AND DENIAL
OF DUE PROCESS ARE BAD,

BUT EVIDENTLY, YOU FAVOR BOTH,

SO IN THE GUANTáNAMO CASE,
THE BIG NEVER MIND.

YOU PEOPLE THROW OUT PRECEDENT
WITH THE MORNING TRASH HERE.
MR. SHORE, I'M CURIOUS.

THAT I DIDN'T KNOW.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY
POSSESS YOU

TO WANT TO COME IN HERE
AND BE COCKY?

DO YOU THINK
THIS HELPS YOUR CLIENT?

ACTUALLY, UH, THE REASON
I AM A LITTLE COCKY

IS BECAUSE MY CLIENT,
DENNY CRANE,

IS THE LITTLE GUY HERE,

AND THE SUPREME COURT OF
THE UNITED STATES HAS ALWAYS,

ALWAYS STOOD UP
FOR THE LITTLE GUY,

AS THEY DID FOR OLIVER BROWN,

A BLACK MAN WHO FOUGHT
FOR HIS THIRD-GRADE DAUGHTER

TO BE ABLE TO GO
TO THE SAME ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

AS HER BEST FRIEND,
WHO WAS WHITE.

THOUGH, OF COURSE,
THIS PARTICULAR SUPREME COURT

HAS GUTTED
BROWN vs. BOARD OF EDUCATION

BECAUSE PRECEDENT, AS WE SAID,
WHO NEEDS IT? BUT--

COUNSEL, I GAVE YOU
AN EXPRESS DIRECTIVE

TO STICK TO THIS CASE.

YES, GETTING TO IT,
YOUR HONOR.

UH, YOU SEE, I HAPPEN TO KNOW

THE LITTLE GUY
IS DUE IN THIS COURT.

THAT'S WHY I'M CONFIDENT.

THE LITTLE GUY HAS BEEN TAKING

SUCH A BEATING OF LATE
IN THIS ROOM,

I JUST KNOW HE'S DUE.
OH, YOU THINK THE LITTLE GUY
LOSES OUT WITH US?

DON'T YOU?

COME ON--ENRON,
THE MAKERS OF MEDICAL DEVICES--

THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY
HAS DONE VERY WELL HERE.

THIS COURT HEARD SEVEN ANTITRUST
CASES IN ITS FIRST TWO TERMS

AND DECIDED ALL OF THEM IN FAVOR
OF BIG CORPORATE DEFENDANTS.

AND, OF COURSE,
THE BIGGEST PLAYER ON THE BLOCK,

THE GOVERNMENT,
ALWAYS SEEMS TO WIN.

AND THEN ON THE OTHER END
OF THAT PARTICULAR SEESAW,

DOWN THERE STUCK IN THE MUD,
WE HAVE THE LOSERS--

THE CRIMINAL DEFENDANTS.
FORGET IT. MY GOD.

JUST LAST MONTH, YOU TURNED DOWN

A STAY OF EXECUTION
FOR A GEORGIA MAN

EVEN THOUGH SEVEN OF THE NINE
PROSECUTION WITNESSES RECANTED.

I GUESS YOU JUST COULDN'T
BE BOTHERED WITH HIS INNOCENCE.

MAYBE IT WAS A FRIDAY,
AND YOU HAD PLANS.

ANYTIME YOU WANT TO WEIGH IN,
JUSTICE THOMAS,

JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE WAVE.
COUNSEL, I HAVE PLANS.

TODAY. I HAVE A FLIGHT BOOKED
AT 1:00 FOR A VACATION

WHICH I HAVE LOOKED FORWARD TO
FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

AND I WILL MAKE THAT FLIGHT,
COUNSEL,

WHICH MEANS AS SOON
AS THAT RED LIGHT BLINKS--
YES, YOUR HONOR, I PROMISE

YOU'LL BE OUT OF HERE
AND ON VACATION IN A JIFFY.

A-AND SPEAKING
FOR ALL AMERICANS,

I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO STAY
AWAY FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.

BUT FIRST, THERE'S THIS MATTER
OF THE LITTLE GUY.

HE'S HERE IN YOUR COURTROOM,
AND HE'S DUE FOR A WIN.

MY...

CLIENT HAS ALZHEIMER'S.

I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING,

AND YOU'RE RIGHT.

DENNY CRANE
IS HARDLY A LITTLE GUY.

HE'S THE VERY BIGGEST.

HE IS RICH, HE'S FAMOUS,

HE IS ONE OF THE GIANTS
OF OUR PROFESSION.

BUT THAT ISN'T REALLY
WHAT MAKES HIM SO...

IT'S HIS ENORMOUS,
FOOLISH HEART.

IT'S HIS BOUNDLESS GENEROSITY.

DENNY HAS A SENSE OF WONDER
AND INNOCENCE

LIKE A CHILD WITH ALL
OF THE WORLD BEFORE HIM.

HE HAS THAT CAPACITY
FOR SHEER JOY

THAT MOST OF US SOMEHOW LOSE

ALONG THE ROAD TO ADULTHOOD.

DENNY IS MY BEST FRIEND,

AND I LOVE HIM
WITH ALL MY HEART.

IF I COULD YANK THAT HORRIBLE
DISEASE OUT OF HIS BODY,

I WOULD FIGHT IT
AND I WOULD WIN.

I WOULD USE
EVERY OUNCE OF MY STRENGTH

AND I WOULD WIN IF I COULD...

BUT I CAN'T.

MY BEST FRIEND IS DYING
OF AN INCURABLE DISEASE

THAT WILL ROB HIM OF HIMSELF

BEFORE IT FINALLY ROBS HIM
OF HIS LIFE,

AND I'M SORRY, I DON'T GIVE
A DAMN WHAT THE CASE LAW SAYS.

THE LAW... Y--

YOU SIMPLY CANNOT LOOK
A DYING MAN IN THE EYE

AND SAY YOU DON'T GET THE RIGHT
TO TRY TO SAVE YOURSELF.

THE LAW CANNOT POSSIBLY
SAY THAT, AND IF IT DOES,

IT NEEDS TO CHANGE
RIGHT NOW, TODAY. TODAY.

OUR PROBLEM, MR. SHORE,

WE HAVE TO SAFEGUARD
THE MASSES.

OUR RULINGS DON'T REACH PEOPLE
ONE PERSON AT A TIME.
BUT WHY CAN'T THEY?

MAKE THIS RULING APPLY ONLY TO
DENNY CRANE IF YOU CHOOSE TO.

JUST MAKE IT.

YOUR HONOR, DEEPLY EMBEDDED
IN THIS COURT,

IN SO MANY OF ITS HOLDINGS,

IS THE INDIVIDUAL'S AUTONOMY
AND PERSONAL DIGNITY.

SO TELL ME, PLEASE. EXPLAIN TO
ME HOW THAT CAN APPLY HERE.

BECAUSE ALL I CAN SEE IS THAT
THE INDECENCY OF A DISEASE

THAT CRIPPLES THE BODY
AS IT ROTS THE BRAIN

CAN ONLY BE EXCEEDED

BY THE INHUMANITY OF KNOWING
THERE'S A DRUG THAT COULD HELP

AND NOT LETTING HIM HAVE IT.

CONTRARY TO
THE PUBLIC'S PERCEPTION,

I THINK, WHEN ASKED, MOST JUDGES
AND LAWYERS WOULD SAY

THE REASON
THEY FIRST WENT TO LAW SCHOOL

WAS SIMPLY TO HELP PEOPLE.

THIS MAN I LOVE,

MY FRIEND,

DESPERATELY NEEDS YOUR HELP.

I BEG THE NINE OF YOU
TO LOOK WITHIN YOURSELVES

AND REVISIT THAT QUESTION.

WHY DID YOU GO TO LAW SCHOOL?

WHY DID YOU WANT TO SIT UP THERE
AND WEAR THAT ROBE?

BECAUSE TODAY,
THIS EXPERIMENTAL DRUG

ISN'T REALLY DENNY CRANE'S
LAST, BEST HOPE.

YOU ARE. YOU ARE.

(breath catches)

***

(man) * OOH

* WEDDING BELLS ARE RINGING

* I HEAR THEM TING-ALINGING

* OOH, MARRYING AND BRINGING

* YOU CLOSER AND CLOSER TO ME

* I HEAR THE ORGAN PLAYING

(metal rattles)

YOU KNOW,
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

YES, AND WE WOULDN'T WANT IT
ANY OTHER WAY.

THERE IT IS. NIMMO BAY.

DON'T THEY GET SNOW?
INDIAN SUMMER.

* WE'RE ON OUR HONEYMOON

* ON OUR HONEYMOON

* WE'RE ON OUR HONEYMOON

* OH, OH

* OUR HONEYMOON

(band playing instrumental jazz)

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S NOT WASTE TIME.

I DON'T WANT TO HONEYMOON
WITH THE SALMON.

HEAVEN ON EARTH.

AH, LET'S SEND OUT
FOR SOME SCOTCH.

NOTHING YOUNGER
THAN 25 YEARS.

ARE THERE BEARS HERE?

ISN'T THIS THE TIME OF YEAR
THEY LOOK TO FATTEN UP?

(music continues)

THIS REALLY IS BEAUTIFUL.

I'M AFRAID OF IT,
BUT IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

OH, YOU NAME IT--THE WATER,
THE WOODS... CANADA.

(music continues)

STOP IT.

(laughs)
THIS IS YOUR VACATION?

OH, LOOK, HE BROUGHT
HIS HUNTING BUDDY.

WHERE'S THE SECRET SERVICE?

YOUR HONOR, THIS IS FATE.
YOU MUST ADMIT.
DON'T TALK TO ME.

I WON'T. I PROMISE. IF I COULD
JUST ASK YOU ONE LITTLE THING...

I MEAN, IT CAN'T BE EX PARTE.
WE'RE ON A DOCK.

COULD YOU LOOK ANY SILLIER?
I KNOW YOU CAN. (laughs)

BUT HAVE YOU HAD
AN OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT

THAT LITTLE FAVOR
I SOUGHT TO CURRY IN COURT?

IT'S JUST THAT I'M DYING
TO KNOW. DENNY IS, ACTUALLY.

ON MONDAY, THE COURT
WILL ISSUE A ONE-LINE MEMO

GRANTING YOU THE USE
OF THE EXPERIMENTAL DRUG.

YOU MEAN IT? I'M CURED.

I COULD JUST HUG YOU.
MAY I?
I'LL HAVE YOU JAILED.

YOUR HONOR, I TRULY--
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I FEEL--MAY I CALL YOU NINO?
BECAUSE--
YOU MAY NOT.

I'VE ALWAYS HEARD YOU WERE
A COMPASSIONATE MAN.

NOW I KNOW IT.
(laughs)

I CAME UP HERE TO FISH.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.

(Alan) UH, YOUR HONOR,
ONE LAST THING.

UH, DENNY AND I CAME UP HERE
TO BE MARRIED.

I-I KNOW YOU WANT TO GET
TO THE RIVER,

AND WE DID BRING
A JUDGE OF OUR OWN,

BUT--BUT THE POSSIBILITY
OF AN UPGRADE...

I AT LEAST HAVE TO ASK.

(music continues)

WE'RE GONNA MAKE THIS
REALLY FAST.

WHICH IS WHAT WE WANT.
IF I MAY SAY--
NO, YOU MAY NOT.

DO YOU ALL TAKE
YOUR RESPECTIVE PARTIES

TO BE
YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED PARTNERS,

TO LOVE, HONOR AND OBEY
TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?
UH, YOUR HONOR,

THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE FASTER
THAN WE THOUGHT--
DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THIS?

(Carl, Shirley, Alan and Denny)
WE DO.
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU--

(Carl and Alan) NO, WAIT.

WE WERE SAYING "WE DO"
TO THE QUESTION

DO WE WANT YOU
TO DO IT.

MR. SHORE, THE COHO
ARE JUMPING AT SEYMOUR FALLS.

YOUR HONOR,
THIS IS OUR WEDDING DAY.

(sighs)

JOIN HANDS.

ARE YOU GONNA BE SERIOUS
ABOUT THIS? BECAUSE IF NOT--

ALAN, I'VE NEVER BEEN
MORE SERIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING

IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

DO YOU,
CARL AND DENNY RESPECTIVELY,

TAKE SHIRLEY AND ALAN
RESPECTIVELY,

TO BE
YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED PARTNERS,

TO LOVE, HONOR AND OBEY--

AND CHERISH.
ESPECIALLY CHERISH.

AND CHERISH...
TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?

I DO.

I DO.

AND DO YOU,
SHIRLEY AND ALAN RESPECTIVELY,

TAKE CARL AND DENNY
RESPECTIVELY,

TO BE
YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED PARTNERS,

TO LOVE, HONOR, OBEY AND CHERISH

TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?

I DO.

I DO.

YOU ALL UNDERSTAND
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MARRIED?

THIS IS A SACRED THING.

THE COMMITMENT
TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER,

TO BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER
NO MATTER WHAT...

DO YOU REALLY ALL GET THAT?

WE GET IT, YOUR HONOR.

LOOK AT ME.

BY THE POWERS VESTED IN ME
AS JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT

AND BY THE POWERS

OF THE COMMONWEALTH
OF MASSACHUSETTS--

I CAN'T SPEAK FOR CANADA--

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
HUSBAND AND WIFE...

AND YOU HUSBAND AND HUSBAND.

WHAT GOD HAS BROUGHT TOGETHER,

LET NO MAN AND NO COURT
TEAR ASUNDER.

YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
(Mendelssohn's
"Wedding March from

'A Midsummer Night's Dream'"
resumes)
OH, UH, ONE--
ONE AT A TIME.

ALAN, YOU FIRST.

***

DENNY, GENTLY.

***

AND NOW CARL... MY HUSBAND.

***

GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.
(Alan) THANK YOU,
YOUR HONOR.

THANK YOU SO MUCH,
YOUR HONOR.
THANK YOU, JUSTICE.

I LOVE YOU, MAN.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, DENNY.

OH, SHIRLEY. MAY I HAVE
MY WEDDING DANCE WITH YOU?

IT'S JUST THAT I'VE ALWAYS
DREAMED OF DANCING WITH YOU

IN THIS DRESS,

LOOKING EXACTLY THE WAY
YOU DO.

DENNY, DON'T YOU THINK
CARL SHOULD GET THIS DANCE?

LET HIM GRAB THE NEXT ONE.
HE'S GOT YOU FOREVER.

I-I JUST, UH...

(slow jazz music playing)

(woman) * JUST FOR TONIGHT

* LET'S PRETEND WE STILL CARE

(laughs) YOU REALLY ARE
A GOOD SPORT, CARL.

(laughs) I'M A GOOD SPORT?

ALAN, HAS IT SUNK IN YET...
WHO YOU'RE MARRIED TO?

* LET'S DANCE A SLOW DANCE

UH, JUDGE?

WHY NOT?

* LIKE WE USED TO DO

* MOVE TO THE MUSIC

* AND SAY I LOVE YOU

* OH, PROMISE EACH OTHER

* WE'LL ALWAYS BE TRUE

* OUR LOVE'S

* NOT JUST FOR TONIGHT

* OUR LOVE'S

* NOT JUST FOR TONIGHT

(speaking foreign language)

(speaking foreign language)

(laughs)

LONG DAY.

BUT A GOOD ONE.

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

A SPECTACULAR DAY.

WHAT COUPLES THEY MADE.

YES, THEY DID.

THANK YOU, JERRY,
FOR BEING MY CHARMING DATE.
MM-HMM.

AND CANADA WAS GREAT.

BEAUTIFUL.

I'M NOT AFRAID OF IT
ANYMORE.

AND HOW GREAT IS THAT?
YEAH.

TO CONQUER ONE'S FEAR
OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY.

GREAT DAY.

FAB.

LET'S NOT
MAKE OURSELVES DIZZY.

NOW... I FEEL DIZZY.

***

SOMEBODY'S BEEN HERE.

WHO?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT CLEARLY SOMEBODY.

PROBABLY STAFF
CELEBRATING OUR WEDDING.

THEY COULD'VE CLEANED UP.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE
A NEAT FREAK, ARE YOU?

(laughs)
DON'T START WITH ME.

I TELL YOU, ALAN...

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING,
I THOUGHT THE END WAS NEAR,

BUT THIS DRUG...

I CAN FEEL THE FOG LIFTING
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

WE'RE MARRIED.

(laughs) CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
(chuckles)

WE WILL FACE RIDICULE,
DENNY, ABUSE.

DON'T BE FOOLED.

IT'S ALL WORTH IT.

I LOVE YA.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

YOU KNOW, I WAS WATCHING
YOU DANCE WITH SHIRLEY,

AND FOR A SECOND,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HAVING

ONE OF YOUR MOMENTS...

WHERE YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED
YOU AND SHE WERE...

HAD ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS
YESTERDAY.

YOU THOUGHT
SHE WAS YOUR WIFE?

NO, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE MY SON.

PROUD MOMENT FOR A DAD,
I'LL TELL YOU THAT...

HAVING YOU AS MY SON.

THAT'S SOMETHING.

ARE WE GONNA
STAY WITH THIS FIRM,

OR ARE WE GONNA
OPEN A NEW ONE?

WE DON'T
HAVE TO DECIDE TONIGHT.

LET'S JUST SIT HERE
LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE.

YEAH.

AHH.

YOU KNOW,
I WAS A LITTLE HURT

YOU DANCED WITH SHIRLEY
INSTEAD OF--
HERE WE GO.

I'M JUST SAYING.
COME ON.

WE DID GET MARRIED.

I THINK A LITTLE ATTENTION
IS IN ORDER

BEFORE YOUR EYE
STARTS ROVING.
YOU WANTED A DANCE?

I DID.
LET'S DO IT NOW.

NO, THE MOMENT HAS PASSED.

NO, IT HASN'T.

WE'RE HERE NOW.
WE'RE IN THE MOMENT.

I DON'T WANT
A MERCY DANCE.

IS THIS THE WAY
IT'S GONNA BE?

ALAN...
OUR WEDDING DANCE.

AH.

DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY,
AND I WANT TO LEAD.

WHY SHOULD YOU--

YOU GOT TO LEAD WITH SHIRLEY.
IT'S MY TURN. JUST DANCE.

(Louis Armstrong's
"Fantastic, That's You" playing)

(laughs) YOU'RE LEADING.
I'M NOT.

WELL, THEN QUIT
SHOVING ME AROUND.
IF YOU PLAN TO DOMINATE ME
IN THIS MARRIAGE,

LET'S UNDO IT RIGHT NOW.
OH, WELL, THAT'S "TILL DEATH
DO US PART" COMMITMENT.

I CAN CALL SCALIA RIGHT NOW--
YOU WANT
TO UNDO IT NOW.

JUST BE QUIET.
SEIZE THE MOMENT.

IT'S OUR WEDDING NIGHT.

* ...VELVET VIOLINS

* MY HEAD GOES SPINNING

IT'S OUR WEDDING NIGHT.

(both laughing)

* FANTASTIC

* FANTASTIC, THAT'S YOU

* YES

* YOU PERFORM MIRACLES

* WHENEVER

* YOU HOLD ME NEAR

* TENDER, WARM MIRACLES

* THAT MAKE ME SURRENDER, DEAR

* YES

* YOU WHISPER "DARLING"

* AND BEFORE MY EYES

* A BLAZE OF FIREWORKS

* LIGHT UP THE SKIES

* NO WONDER ANGELS UP THERE

* HAVE STARING EYES

* FANTASTIC

* FANTASTIC, THAT'S YOU