All language subtitles for The Neighbors s02e15 Feeling.eng

Oh, I wish someone
had warned us there was

so much cleaning involved
with being a parent.

- Have you seen Reggie leave
for school yet? - Nope.

No, he hasn't left yet, or no,
you haven't seen him leave?

Second one.
Seriously?!

I can't watch Reggie's house
all morning.

I have to get ready for school.

Well, you could
just not worry about

- when Reggie leaves for school.
- Oh, sure.

I'll just leave the house
at the same time

as the guy I broke up with
and walk to the bus with him.

That's a super-smart idea,
Martin.

I also wish someone had warned
us about all the sarcasm.

Hmm.

[Sighs] Good morning, husband.

Husband. Hello?
[Snaps fingers]

Oh! Hey, bro.

Just listening to an
obscure guy's album

which hasn't come out yet.

It's life-changing.
[Chuckles]

Just practicing my aloof
coffee-shop-guy attitude.

These aren't plugged in
to anything.

- That's very impressive.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Are they not as highfalutin
as what you wear

at your job at the Taco Shack?

Taco Castle.

And I wish you weren't
so dismissive of my career.

I've been to your work
dozens of times.

You've not been to mine once.

Well, I have a good excuse.

I have no interest in your job.

Good morning, parents.

Have you by any chance noticed
if Amber has left her house yet?

Ooh, sorry.

I think it's Dick's turn
to watch the Weaver's.

Dick: We've discussed
this already.

The morning shift
is impossible for me.

Do you think I just wake
up looking like this?

You see, Amber has been
staggering her departure time...

Is this what humans do when
they suffer a serious breakup?

They play hide-and-seek?

I-I-I wish we could be
of more help, son,

but I'm afraid
we're a little...

Useless!
You two are totally useless.

[Groans] Oh, honey,
I know it's hard.

But you are gonna
get over Reggie.

Let go.
I'm totally over Reggie.

It's been three weeks,
and, in case you forgot,

I broke up with him.

Well, it... it doesn't seem
like you're really over him.

So...

Really? It doesn't?

No.
Well, I am.

And if you insist
on me proving it to you,

I'll just have to go over there
and tell Reggie how it is now.

I wasn't insisting on that.

It's not all that rewarding,
parenting, is it?

Let's stop.

How long must you play
hide-and-seek?

I don't know.
I'm just following Amber's lead.

We might never speak again,
but I'm okay with that.

Hi, Reggie!

Amber! You're back!
I'm so happy! I love you!

No, no, no, no, no.

Uh, we're not
getting back together.

I'm totally over the breakup.

We're friends, and I'm here
to walk with you to the bus.

I knew that.
You didn't let me finish.

Oh, dear.

"Amber, you're back.
I'm so happy. I love you,"

is what old Reggie
would have said.

- This Reggie...
- He has to stop. - Make him stop.

Totally gets human
relationships and understands

what's going on, because it
just... just makes sense.

- Reggie, stop talking.
- Do something.

We were in love,
but now we are j...

What are you doing?

I don't know.

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so, I totally understand

the rules of
our friend relationship.

I have a few
rhetorical questions.

Can we still kiss?

- Not rhetorical, and no.
- Great.

So, you won't be coming at me

with any guerilla
sneak-attack kisses.

It also means we can't
hold hands anymore.

- Totally get it.
- Let go of my hand, Reggie.

Right. I knew that.

I was just testing you,
and you passed.

- Congratulations!
- Nope.

So, are you going to be
dating other people?

We both are.

You have your soul mate.
She's... special.

And I have
just so many options.

Just so many out there.

And I'm gonna...
explore them all.

Great.
So, we'll do that.

- This is all still making
sense to me. - Yeah.

We can still
share a toothbrush, right?

- Nope.
- Sorry.

What you doing, babe?

I told you my study
group from college

was meeting here today,
and I'm clearing out

some of the clutter
so that we can focus.

That's not clutter, honey.
Those are our children.

That's my
fantasy-football-league trophy.

Well, I'll put it back
after they leave.

I just have this cool,
big-sister vibe going,

and I don't
want to mess with it.

I was worried they were gonna

think of me as the mom,
but they don't.

They call me "Deb."

I call you "Deb," Deb.

It's different when they do it.

And don't do it
in front of them.

You don't think
I'm cool enough.

What?! No!

Yes, this is
just like high school,

when you were
the cool chick and I was

the dorky guy
bringing you down.

Oh! I am not
embarrassed of you.

Come here.

[Doorbell rings]

Just... just...

Yeah.

Hey, gang.

Girl: - Hey.
- Come on in.

- Hey, Deb.
- Hey.

Hey, guys. How you doing?
I'm Deb's husband.

Husband. Wow.

That's so... grown-up.

Marty, shouldn't you be
getting to work?

- Oh, no. I probably have...
- To beat the traffic

- Oh.
- Don't let us keep you.

Honey,
you're not keeping me. I...

- All right. Love you.
- I was thinking maybe I wanted to...

What up, peeps?

- Hey.
- What's up? - What's up?

- Let's go in the other room.
- All right. - Yeah.

Oh, hey!

Larry: Your mother wanted me
to visit her depressing job,

so here we are.

[Laughter]

Oh, yeah. Oh!
[Chuckles]

- Who's that?
- That must be Keef.

Mother talks about
him all the time.

Does she?
I rarely listen to her.

[Laughter]

That's odd.

Dick, are you feeling flushed?

Is your face hot?

I suddenly feel like puning
a wall really, really hard.

I feel that way
most of the time.

Oh, husband, Dick!
You came!

What a wonderful surprise.

This is Keef, my work husband.

I'm your only husband!

Oh, it's great to finally
meet you, Larry.

Hey, how's that new
body-boosting shampoo

working out for you?

I beg your pardon?

Oh, yeah, Jackie told me
that you were thinking

your hair was looking
a little lifeless

and you're trying
a new shampoo.

How dare you share
such an intimate detail

with a complete stranger!

Oh, husband, he's no stranger.

Keef is my bestie!
Oh! [Laughs]

Okay.
I visited your work.

Now I need never come again.
Goodbye, Reef.

- Keef.
- Who cares?

[Door opens]

Father has a history
of leaving me places,

so I should probably...

That was my family.

Yeah. They're great.
[Chuckles] Yeah.

Thank you
for coming over, Jane.

I guess you know Amber and I
are no longer dating.

Reggie, I'm your soul mate.
I know everything about you.

Yes.

So, this morning, Amber told me

that she is completely over me

and that we should
see other people.

So, I guess that means
you and I are dating now.

- Congratulations.
- No, thank you.

Great! What?

Reggie, I love you, but
if we got together now,

I would be a rebound.

And I'm your soul mate.
I'm not a palate cleanser.

This is so not going
how I thought it would go.

Yeah, well, nothing
has gone the way

I thought it would
since I got here.

Before we can be together,

you need to have
closure with Amber.

[Door opens, closes]

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You know, I'm no detective,
but I do believe

you're not actually reading
that overrated book.

Hmm?
Oh. Yeah. Uh, no.

Who are you?

Deb's study buddy.
Who are you?

Deb's daughter.

So, what you looking at?
That squirrel?

Okay, you want attention, huh?

No. No, no.

No, you go ahead
and watch that squirrel.

If you want to go outside
and chase it, I'll let you out.

- Hurry. It's getting away.
- That's funny.

I didn't know my mom
was going to clown college.

Okay.

I'll... leave you alone.

Thank you.

If you change your
mind, just bark.

Dog thing really
isn't working, dude.

Okay.

So, I was like,
"yeah, sure, you can keep

your meal-replacement shakes
in my mini fridge."

And she was like,
"thanks."

But I don't know
if she's into me

or if she's just
into my mini fridge.

Mm. Hmm.
I don't know.

I think the diet drinks
are a bad sign.

It puts you in the friend zone.

And a woman's not gonna share
her dieting strategies

with a guy she wants to be

romantically
involved with, so...

Huh. I wouldn't have
thought of that.

That totally makes sense.
Thanks, Deb.

Oh, yeah. No problem.

I think of myself as, you know,

kind of your big sister...
Cool big sister.

And as your cool
big sister, Hank,

I think you need to sack up
and ask out that girl.

Well, I don't know yeah, man.

She's kind of out of my league.

Hey-oh!
Did somebody say par-tay?!

No, Marty.
Nobody said "party."

Did someone want
to say, "party"?

Sweetie, we're studying.

Oh, well, I have another
keg and a few pizzas

back in the minivan
that beg to differ.

- That's really nice of
you, Mr. Weaver. - Yeah.

No problem. Don't mention it.
[Chuckles]

Mr. Weaver... they titled you,
Marty. You're blowing it. Go!

- Why? I thought this would be fun.
- Go!

Okay, guys,
looks like party Marty's

gonna take this upstairs, okay?

All right.
Don't mind me.

I'll be upstairs
having a party of one.

That guy.
[Laughter]

[Laughter]

Man: In sports, the
national hockey league...

Drinking beer from a red cup

on top of the good
bedspread, honey.

Is that cool enough for you?!

Marty, assist me.

Come on in, Larry. I surprised
Jackie at work today.

She was making a burrito

with someone she calls
her "work husband."

All of a sudden,
my face got hot.

- Can one be allergic to tacos?
- No.

Sounds to me
like you were jealous.

Jealous? [Scoffs]
Ridiculous.

Why would I be jealous
of a ruggedly handsome fellow

who wears size-14 sandals

and enjoys easy banter
with my wife?

Larry, jealousy will only
cause you trouble.

That's why I'm not jealous
that Debbie doesn't want

me to hang out
with her study group,

even though I raced home
from work

just so I could party with them.

See? I'm not jealous.

Now I get to sit
and watch daytime ESPN.

Marty, I'm not jealous,
but maybe my body was.

Clearly, it got confused

and reacted to feelings
I wasn't feeling.

That doesn't make much sense.
Or does it?

- It doesn't.
- No, I think it does.

Clearly, I have to go
back to salsa castle

to see my wife
with that hunk again

so that my mind
can convince my body

to stop being so foolish.

[Laughter]

Okay.
Let's give it a shot.

Daytime ESPN
is just soccer anyway.

Then I take the curtain
from the bathroom window,

wrap it around myself
like a sarong,

go back out to the table,
finish the tiramisu.

- You finished your dessert?!
- Hell, yeah.

You don't leave
tiramisu uneaten.

- You are awesome, Deb.
- I know.

Oh, man.
There's a big stain on my shirt.

Of course I'm in
the friend zone.

Cool guys don't have
stains on their shirts.

Well, you could
just wash the shirt.

I'm out of quarters.
And detergent.

Give me the shirt.

My grandma's homemade
stain remover will work...

White vinegar and coarse salt.

But won't it smell?

I-I'll just put it through the wash.
Wait.

All: You have
a washing machine?

- Of course. - I've got
laundry in my car.

- I also have laundry in my car.
- I've got laundry... in my car.

Oh, my God. You have so much
real food in your refrigerator!

That's a big fridge, Deb.

Yeah, it is!

No. It's just normal.
And cool, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Jane.

I'm throwing out everything
Amber ever gave me

- to prove I have closure.
- Oh.

- Reggie, there's nothing in there.
- True.

But I really like
the stuff she gave me.

If you look at the box
as a symbol...

Call me when you have
closure, Reggie.

You catch that squirrel, yet?

You can't do a callback
to a joke that doesn't land.

Well, I was hoping it'd get
funnier with repetition.

Nope.

Okay, look.

There's obviously something
that you want out there,

so stop being afraid
of what might happen.

You want that squirrel,
you have to go chase it.

I'm still not looking
at a squirrel.

Yeah. I know.
I'm a college man.

I'm a solid two years older
than you, plus I'm super smart.

The squirrel thing
is just a metaphor.

Am I impressing you yet?

You don't have to be
a rocket scientist

to figure out
what's going on here.

I am one, though...
A rocket-science major.

Clearly, you're hung up on
that guy... the squirrel guy...

So stop watching him,
and go get him.

I also tutor
inner-city children.

Nothing? Okay.

Steak excaliburrito
with black knight beans.

- That'll be $5.
- That's me.

Can I have some Merlin's
magic sauce, please?

This place is fun,
huh, with the names?

I don't know.
It all seems a bit forced to me.

We get it. It's a castle.

Wait!
I didn't see anything.

Well, I can't just park there.
Well, go around again.

[Muffled] This is delicious.

- Go around again.
- I am!

How spicy are the Joan of
Arc's flaming fajitas?

- Spicy.
- Do it.

Go around again, Marty.
Go around again.

How big is the
Lancelot of nachos?

It's a lot of nachos.

Oh, I get it!
[Laughs]

Yeah.
[Horn honking]

Okay. All right.
I'll be right back!

There they are.

I'm having the wrong
feelings again.

Drive! Drive! Go around again.
All right.

We can't keep going around.

I cannot watch you eat
any more burritos.

Ditto.
[Sighs]

Debbie never lets me
eat fast food.

She says that I have
no self-control.

I'm so uncool.
Enough!

I'm going in.

Lasagna is ready, guys.
It needs 15 minutes to cool.

Zak, close the refrigerator.
Use a glass.

[Buzzer] Oh! I'm gonna
put in another load.

Guys, do not eat the lasagna
till it's cooled down.

You'll burn your mouths.
Ow! It's hot!

I told you.

Marcus: You're out
of toilet paper!

Oh, God.
Zak, bring this up to Marcus.

Sure thing, Mrs. Weaver.

[Thinking] Mrs. Weaver.
They titled me.

I should have never
made the lasagna!

You want me to put some music?

Do you have any speed metal
or east-German techno?

I do not.

Then no, thank you.

Larry: I'm coming!

Marty, I've got him!

- What the hell is going on, Larry?!
- A kidnapping!

Open the trunk!
Open the trunk!

There is no trunk!
It's a minivan!

[Whirring]

[Sighs]

Just give it a second.

[Door beeping]

Well, this is really
bringing down the energy.

Drive. Drive. Drive.

I can't until the door closes.

It's a safety feature.

Hey, I know Jackie
wants us to hang,

but can we do this after work?

It's really busy in there,

and some guy keeps on
ordering burrit...

Oh. Hey! Yeah!
Burrito guy. What's up?

We're just gonna have
a little talk with this punk.

Marty, you're an Italian
from New Jersey.

Where do I get rid of the body?

- What? - Larry, that is
insulting and insane.

The Pine Barrens.

- Don't worry, kid. We're not
taking you there. - Oh, okay. Good.

What are your intentions
with my wife?

Uh, I don't know
what you're talking about.

Wrong answer.

- Dick, I'm gonna need a lamp
and a car battery. - Got it.

Marty, do you have
jumper cables?

Keef, do you have nipples?

Yeah. Of course I got...
Wait. What?!

You know, you're starting
to freak me out, man.

Welcome to Salsa...
Larry Bird?

Can I have some extra napkins?

[Knock on door]

Hi, Reggie.

What did you want
to show me now?

Did you find another empty box?

No.
I just wanted to talk.

I don't know
how to get closure.

I'm trying to do things
the way humans do.

But one minute, you're in love.

And the next, you're
supposed to be friends

and pretend you're never in
love and then get closure

so you can do it
all over again.

Isn't it funny how
un-evolved humans are?

The whole purpose of
life is to find love,

and yet that's the thing
that they're the worst at.

That and dancing.
They can't dance at all.

Right?

They look like
they're actually worried

that the rhythm
is gonna get them.

[Chuckles]

It's nice to talk to someone

who's as confused
about this stuff as I am.

[Patrick Park's "We fall
out of touch" plays]

If you and I got together,
we'd never break up, would we?

No, we wouldn't, Reggie.

Jane, I'm gonna go have
a conversation with Amber.

And after that, I'd like
to take you on a date.

But father doesn't let me take
the golf cart out on my own,

so it'll have to be
walking distance.

Okay, ridiculous girl,
I guess it's time

for me to admit I was wrong
and start chasing you.

- Amber.
- Reggie.

This morning, when you told
me it was time to move on...

and I said I agreed,
I wasn't ready to move on.

- I was telling a brilliant lie.
- Reggie.

No, let me finish.

I've realized I have a woman
who wants to be with me.

It's Jane. You've met her.
She's standing next to me.

Hi, again, Amber.

I don't want to be with someone

who doesn't want to be with me.

So, Amber, I have
something to tell you.

I'm over you.

Oh.

All these lame jokes.

You've been flirting
with me, right?

Who? Me?
Uh, yes.

Good. What are you doing
on Saturday night?

Going on a date
with you, I hope.

I just got out
of a relationship,

and I'm not
entirely over him yet.

Perfect.
That's where I do my best work.

I was gonna go Dutch,

but now you have to pay
for everything.

Larry Bird,
what's going on here?

My head knows
you're my soul mate,

but my body keeps telling me
that Keef is a threat.

Oh, husband.
Keef is not a threat.

He's my burrito buddy.

It's good for us to have lives
outside of our relationship...

Friends who make us laugh.

- I make you laugh?
- Not now, Keef.

You can't blame me
for being insecure.

I mean, look at this Adonis.

Oh, husband,
don't be ridiculous.

Why would I go for a
joy ride on a moped

when my soul mate
is a Maserati?

Wow. That's hurtful.

Pipe down, moped.

Oh, I'm sorry, wife.

It's just that Marty
got me all worked up.

Made me think that there was
something between you and Keef.

Opposite of true

vroom, vroom.

Uh, sorry.
Can I go now?

Oh.

[Whirring]

This is always kind
of an awkward wait.

Debbie didn't
want to get a minivan.

She said it wasn't cool.

But I insisted
because I'm so uncool.

Yeah! I'm free!
[Chuckles]

- I'll see you in there.
- Okay.

You don't have to wash
the containers.

Just bring them
back to me, please.

Zak:
Thank you, Mrs. Weaver.

It's Deb. Oh, Mrs. Weaver.
You're welcome, kids.

Hey. Promise me you're gonna
ask out that girl.

Oh, yeah, I don't know.

I really think
she's out of my league, so...

A long time ago,
longer than I care to admit,

a dorky guy asked out
a girl that he thought

was way out of his league,
and she said yes.

And now most of the time,

she thinks that he's always
out of her league.

That is my story.

But it could be
your story, too.

You just got to
put yourself out there.

Thank you.
[Chuckles]

My parents are all the way back
in Chicago, and, I mean,

I think I'm doing pretty good,

but sometimes
I get a little homesick,

you know, so it was nice
to have a mom today,

if that's okay to say.

Oh, it's fine to say.

Glad I could help.

See you at school.
Ask out that girl!

I like that story, honey.

That was you and me, right?

It wasn't the guy you
dated before me.

Of course it's you and me.

Oh, I'm sorry I told you to go.

That was crappy.

Oh, it didn't bother me.

Trying to be cool, but
that cool ship has sailed.

I am a wife and a mom, and I
wouldn't have it any other way.

Forgive me?

Always.

You promise you're talking
about me and not Frank Polumbo?

I promise.
Frank Polumbo was not dorky.

Well, that's debatable.

Okay, well, you will always
be my hot older sister.

- No.
- How about sexy aunt?

- Stop. No. - Lonely school nurse?
Gymnastics teacher?

- No!
- Why not?

Now just let your fingers
slide through the tortilla.

- Like this?
- Perfect.

Now the beans.

Now the goo.

It's guacamole.

It's disgusting.

I know.

- Stop that.
- Why?

I can't make a burrito
if you keep messing about.

Oh, that's disgusting.
My hands are filthy.

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