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1
00:00:05,019 --> 00:00:06,619
All right hon, I'm off to work.
2
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,221
The kids' sleepovers
are all set up,
3
00:00:09,255 --> 00:00:12,057
and we are all clear
for our big date night.
4
00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:14,309
- I'm very excited.
- Oh, me too.
5
00:00:14,344 --> 00:00:15,811
I keep thinking about
those lamb chops.
6
00:00:17,096 --> 00:00:18,397
And spending time with you...
7
00:00:18,431 --> 00:00:20,232
I didn't say that part
because it was implicit.
8
00:00:20,266 --> 00:00:21,266
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:23,068
Waffle me, woman.
10
00:00:23,102 --> 00:00:25,070
Ooh.
Mm.
11
00:00:25,104 --> 00:00:26,471
Good morning, Marty.
12
00:00:26,489 --> 00:00:28,306
Is that a waffle in your mouth,
or are you just happy to see me?
13
00:00:28,324 --> 00:00:29,808
Still not doing
that joke right.
14
00:00:29,826 --> 00:00:31,526
- That's what she said.
- Nope!
15
00:00:31,578 --> 00:00:34,246
- Ready to brainstorm business ideas?
- Yes.
16
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:36,915
I thought we could create dream
boards to come up with ideas.
17
00:00:36,950 --> 00:00:40,369
I saw it on the fifth hour
of the "Today" show.
18
00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:42,037
You cut out pictures
that you love,
19
00:00:42,088 --> 00:00:45,007
- and you glue them to poster board.
- Mm.
20
00:00:45,041 --> 00:00:46,324
It'll be good
when I have a business,
21
00:00:46,342 --> 00:00:49,261
because then I won't watch
so much stupid "Today" show.
22
00:00:49,295 --> 00:00:51,880
So, how do dream boards work?
23
00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:53,999
Well, you look at it
for inspiration,
24
00:00:54,017 --> 00:00:56,602
and then you have an epiphany
about your destiny.
25
00:00:56,636 --> 00:00:59,388
Oh, that sounds easy.
26
00:01:02,408 --> 00:01:05,060
Huh.
27
00:01:05,111 --> 00:01:07,729
No epiphany?
28
00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:11,066
Maybe if I stare
a little longer.
29
00:01:11,117 --> 00:01:12,918
Why are there so many
pictures of Risotto?
30
00:01:12,952 --> 00:01:15,153
Oh, rice represents bounty,
31
00:01:15,187 --> 00:01:19,324
and the only subscription we had
was to Bon App?tit magazine.
32
00:01:19,358 --> 00:01:21,326
Are you sure this is the way
33
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,161
to come up with an idea
which will be profitable?
34
00:01:23,195 --> 00:01:25,831
Oh, Jackie, I don't want money
to be the driving force here.
35
00:01:25,865 --> 00:01:27,833
I mean,
extra cash would be great,
36
00:01:27,867 --> 00:01:30,252
but I need to find a job
that makes me feel fulfilled.
37
00:01:30,303 --> 00:01:32,421
Said no one who ever
worked in a coal mine.
38
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:35,257
All right, I'm off.
Have a good date night.
39
00:01:35,308 --> 00:01:37,592
Thanks. Keep thinking on it,
will ya?
40
00:01:37,644 --> 00:01:39,561
Key word... "Fulfilling."
41
00:01:47,687 --> 00:01:49,988
Welcome to Salsa Castle.
May I take your order?
42
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:52,941
Oh, fulfilling my...
43
00:01:52,992 --> 00:01:54,443
?�?
44
00:01:54,494 --> 00:01:58,280
We came from outer space
and settled in New Jersey
45
00:01:58,331 --> 00:02:02,117
we took names like Larry Bird
and Jackie Joyner-Kersee
46
00:02:02,168 --> 00:02:04,286
then the humans
moved next door
47
00:02:04,337 --> 00:02:06,455
started testing
all our limits
48
00:02:06,506 --> 00:02:08,623
so sit right down,
enjoy the show
49
00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:12,010
we'll be done in 30 minutes
50
00:02:12,045 --> 00:02:15,047
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
51
00:02:19,802 --> 00:02:22,054
Oh, what the...
52
00:02:22,088 --> 00:02:26,058
Marty!
What the hell is going on!
53
00:02:26,092 --> 00:02:27,893
Why is there a hole in the wall?
54
00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:30,562
Well, you said you wanted
a built-in entertainment center
55
00:02:30,596 --> 00:02:31,947
for how long now, right?
56
00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:34,032
I'm the guy
that's gonna give it you.
57
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:37,152
Is this about last night?
58
00:02:37,203 --> 00:02:39,154
What?
No.
59
00:02:39,188 --> 00:02:40,789
Are you sure there's
nothing about last night
60
00:02:40,823 --> 00:02:41,990
that you want to talk about?
61
00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:43,992
'Cause I'm a good listener.
62
00:02:44,043 --> 00:02:45,794
Remember in high school,
I was named "best listener"?
63
00:02:45,828 --> 00:02:47,612
Oh, because of
your understanding nod.
64
00:02:49,499 --> 00:02:50,632
Yep. There it is.
That's it.
65
00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:52,167
So? Anything?
66
00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:53,835
Yeah.
67
00:02:53,886 --> 00:02:57,089
I, uh...
68
00:02:57,123 --> 00:02:59,057
I, uh...
69
00:02:59,092 --> 00:03:01,059
Okay, I got to get
to the hardware store
70
00:03:01,094 --> 00:03:02,894
and get some
wood...en shelves.
71
00:03:02,929 --> 00:03:04,012
I'm gonna get wooden shelves.
72
00:03:04,046 --> 00:03:05,564
Got to get some wooden shelves
73
00:03:05,598 --> 00:03:08,567
for the...
74
00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:11,403
You and I are gonna have
a long week.
75
00:03:11,437 --> 00:03:13,071
Hang in there.
76
00:03:13,106 --> 00:03:15,824
That's one Dragon egg
breakfast burrito
77
00:03:15,858 --> 00:03:17,993
and one King Arthur's
quesadilla.
78
00:03:18,027 --> 00:03:19,945
Would you like me
to knight that for you?
79
00:03:19,979 --> 00:03:20,979
Duh.
80
00:03:24,117 --> 00:03:28,754
I hereby knight
your breakfast burrito an Excalibur-rito,
81
00:03:28,788 --> 00:03:30,789
and you, a knight
of the Salsa Castle.
82
00:03:30,823 --> 00:03:32,174
Thanks, Wench.
83
00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:35,343
Oh.
84
00:03:35,378 --> 00:03:37,712
I hear that.
85
00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:40,549
And raise you a...
86
00:03:42,602 --> 00:03:43,885
Oh, Keef.
87
00:03:43,936 --> 00:03:45,437
If you weren't so hilarious,
88
00:03:45,471 --> 00:03:47,439
the night shift here
would be pure torture.
89
00:03:47,473 --> 00:03:49,441
Oh, what's a classy lady like you
90
00:03:49,475 --> 00:03:51,693
doing in a castle like this
anyway?
91
00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:54,362
Oh, well, my father-in-law
used to support my family,
92
00:03:54,397 --> 00:03:57,532
but he didn't like our decision
to stay here on earth...
93
00:03:57,567 --> 00:04:00,202
Um, in, uh, New Jersey...
So he cut us off.
94
00:04:00,236 --> 00:04:01,369
Oh, I feel you on that.
95
00:04:01,404 --> 00:04:03,288
My parents cut me off
after they found out
96
00:04:03,322 --> 00:04:05,624
I was spending rent money
on mime classes,
97
00:04:05,658 --> 00:04:08,293
just a couple of dream killers.
Oh, yeah.
98
00:04:08,327 --> 00:04:10,962
The worst part is I'm too
ashamed to tell my best friend,
99
00:04:10,997 --> 00:04:12,798
especially since Debbie Weaver
looks down on anything
100
00:04:12,832 --> 00:04:14,633
that doesn't
"nourish the soul."
101
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:18,336
Oh.
102
00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:20,839
Ohh, I wish I had Herb's
manager job.
103
00:04:20,873 --> 00:04:22,474
All he does
is watch cat videos all day.
104
00:04:22,508 --> 00:04:24,042
He never has to knight
anything.
105
00:04:24,076 --> 00:04:25,327
Yeah, Herb's killing it.
106
00:04:25,361 --> 00:04:26,962
Uh, let's look around.
107
00:04:26,996 --> 00:04:30,415
So this, for example...
monstrosity...
108
00:04:30,433 --> 00:04:31,850
is gonna have to go.
109
00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:33,985
Anything that looks like tin,
but actually isn't,
110
00:04:34,019 --> 00:04:34,936
is probably paper.
111
00:04:34,971 --> 00:04:36,054
That can go.
112
00:04:36,088 --> 00:04:37,722
Who is that?
113
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,157
Oh, it's the new owner.
114
00:04:39,192 --> 00:04:41,326
She got the restaurant
in a divorce settlement.
115
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,545
If you want to be manager,
she's the one to impress.
116
00:04:43,596 --> 00:04:44,880
So...
117
00:04:46,098 --> 00:04:48,233
You would have made
a wonderful mime.
118
00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:50,235
You're so good.
119
00:04:53,089 --> 00:04:54,623
Hello.
120
00:04:54,674 --> 00:04:57,175
My name is Jackie Joyner-Kersee,
and I work for you.
121
00:04:57,193 --> 00:04:59,578
Oh, did I just hear
what I thought I heard?
122
00:04:59,612 --> 00:05:01,413
Yes, my name is
Jackie Joyner-Kersee.
123
00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:02,547
When we moved here,
we took on the names of...
124
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,432
I mean your accent.
125
00:05:04,467 --> 00:05:06,234
Never thought
I'd find a fellow brit
126
00:05:06,269 --> 00:05:09,037
working at one of my husband's
taco...situations.
127
00:05:09,071 --> 00:05:12,290
Yes. That's me.
Just a brit.
128
00:05:12,308 --> 00:05:13,975
Well, Helen Reading-Kemper.
Pleasure.
129
00:05:14,026 --> 00:05:17,279
Pleased to meet you,
Helen Reading-Kemper-pleasure.
130
00:05:17,313 --> 00:05:18,313
Oh!
131
00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:25,103
He's an aspiring mime.
132
00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:27,622
So good.
Aw.
133
00:05:28,357 --> 00:05:32,309
Reggie, I can't decide if I want
this foot-massaging ottoman
134
00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:35,446
in horse-mane mahogany
or shark-tooth ivory.
135
00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:37,765
You have a flair for design.
What does your gut say?
136
00:05:37,816 --> 00:05:39,900
My gut says you should help me
clip coupons.
137
00:05:39,952 --> 00:05:41,235
Oh, we don't need coupons.
138
00:05:41,286 --> 00:05:42,870
Your mother is out
earning mad coin
139
00:05:42,904 --> 00:05:44,722
at the Mexican
folded-sandwich shop.
140
00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:46,624
Maybe you should get a job too.
141
00:05:46,658 --> 00:05:48,592
What?! Me?!
142
00:05:48,627 --> 00:05:50,144
A job?!
143
00:05:50,178 --> 00:05:51,429
I have a job!
144
00:05:51,463 --> 00:05:55,199
It's called "being the supreme
leader of this community,"
145
00:05:55,233 --> 00:05:57,668
and a big part of that
is keeping up appearances.
146
00:05:57,702 --> 00:06:00,604
It seems like all you do is buy
meaningless stuff.
147
00:06:00,638 --> 00:06:04,808
Reggie, this bracelet not only
monitors my R.E.M. sleep,
148
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,510
it also comes fully loaded
149
00:06:06,544 --> 00:06:08,645
with every song
R.E.M. ever recorded.
150
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,130
Now, if that is meaningless...
151
00:06:10,164 --> 00:06:12,916
I probably shouldn't
have bought two of them.
152
00:06:12,951 --> 00:06:15,202
Father, can we get a dog?
153
00:06:15,253 --> 00:06:18,705
Absolutely. A purebred.
That is the spirit.
154
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,691
Good, because I heard
panhandlers make more money
155
00:06:20,725 --> 00:06:22,309
when they have a cute dog.
156
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,145
Dick, everyone
in this family has a job.
157
00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:29,283
Your mother sells tacos,
and we men keep up appearances.
158
00:06:29,534 --> 00:06:31,919
- Sorry, father.
- Shame.
159
00:06:31,953 --> 00:06:36,323
If you'll excuse me,
I have to go and parade my fur.
160
00:06:40,361 --> 00:06:42,879
He looks phenomenal.
161
00:06:42,914 --> 00:06:45,832
?�?
162
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,684
Behold me, Marty Weaver.
163
00:06:47,718 --> 00:06:50,771
For I am a fancy boy without
a financial care in the...
164
00:06:50,822 --> 00:06:52,956
Wait a minute.
What's happening here?
165
00:06:52,991 --> 00:06:54,908
You're sawing lumber.
166
00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:57,477
You're listening to something
besides Michael Bubl?.
167
00:06:57,512 --> 00:06:59,630
It's almost as if you were
recently emasculated,
168
00:06:59,664 --> 00:07:02,432
and now you're subconsciously
overcompensating
169
00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:04,301
to prove your manhood.
170
00:07:04,335 --> 00:07:08,021
Larry, that's is...
Incredibly perceptive.
171
00:07:08,072 --> 00:07:10,440
I'm not just a pretty face
in a gorgeous hat.
172
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:11,908
Yeah, no, you're right, Larry.
173
00:07:11,942 --> 00:07:14,344
I guess I am trying to
feel like a man.
174
00:07:14,379 --> 00:07:17,681
Larry, last night, Debbie and I,
we had date night.
175
00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:19,950
And it started out great.
I ordered...
176
00:07:19,984 --> 00:07:22,502
Please spare me
the extraneous details.
177
00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:24,037
I have three more blocks
to parade,
178
00:07:24,088 --> 00:07:26,173
and this hat is much hotter
than I anticipated.
179
00:07:26,207 --> 00:07:29,810
It's real polar bear.
Don't tell anyone.
180
00:07:29,861 --> 00:07:31,528
Tell everyone!
181
00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:34,764
Sorry.
You were saying.
182
00:07:34,798 --> 00:07:36,132
- Well, after dinner...
- Mm-hmm.
183
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,017
- You know, we came home.
- Mm-hmm.
184
00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:40,369
And, um...
I couldn't, uh...
185
00:07:41,205 --> 00:07:43,539
I couldn't achieve lift-off,
if you know what I'm saying.
186
00:07:43,573 --> 00:07:45,341
Oh, Marty.
187
00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:47,977
All I know is baby polar bear
does not breathe.
188
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:51,114
Uh, look...
Oh, you need advice.
189
00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:54,233
Um, it's my understanding
that men on this planet
190
00:07:54,284 --> 00:07:55,551
overcompensate
for their problems
191
00:07:55,586 --> 00:07:58,638
by throwing themselves into
something totally unrelated.
192
00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:01,790
Looks like you're on your way.
193
00:08:01,825 --> 00:08:02,908
Well done. Carry on.
194
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:04,209
Now, if you'll excuse me,
195
00:08:04,244 --> 00:08:07,212
I have to stick my head
in the deep freezer.
196
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:13,152
So we moved here
when my ex was hired
197
00:08:13,186 --> 00:08:15,137
to bring Salsa Castle
stateside.
198
00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:16,471
Two years later,
I have no husband,
199
00:08:16,489 --> 00:08:18,090
a taco restaurant,
and a 10-year-old
200
00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:19,374
who blames me
for the whole mess.
201
00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:23,178
So I'm just one gay sidekick
away from a show on Bravo.
202
00:08:23,213 --> 00:08:24,513
I have a 10-year-old son,
as well.
203
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,598
Oh! That's another thing
we have in common.
204
00:08:26,649 --> 00:08:28,517
Are you married?
I hope not.
205
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,718
No.
206
00:08:29,736 --> 00:08:31,653
I am divorced, just like you.
Rough.
207
00:08:31,687 --> 00:08:33,855
- What are the odds?
- So slim.
208
00:08:33,873 --> 00:08:37,192
- It's been very nice to have a fellow
countrywoman to talk to. - Yes.
209
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,194
I will see you soon, I hope.
210
00:08:39,212 --> 00:08:41,246
Uh...How about tonight?
211
00:08:41,297 --> 00:08:43,749
You could come over for dinner.
Our sons could meet.
212
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,250
Ooh, well, um...
213
00:08:45,301 --> 00:08:48,554
A traditional English dinner
does sound very nice,
214
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:50,339
if it's not
too last-minute?
215
00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:53,058
Oh, no, no. It's exactly
the perfect amount of minutes.
216
00:08:53,092 --> 00:08:54,059
Yay.
217
00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:56,345
- Yay!
- Oh!
218
00:08:56,379 --> 00:08:58,347
- Bye!
- Bye.
219
00:08:58,381 --> 00:09:00,715
Oh, this is perfect!
We're gonna bond.
220
00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:02,551
And she's going to see
that I am just like her.
221
00:09:02,569 --> 00:09:05,354
And in no time at all, she's
going to promote me to manager!
222
00:09:05,388 --> 00:09:06,605
I just have to pretend
to be divorced,
223
00:09:06,656 --> 00:09:09,408
and that my sons
are from British.
224
00:09:09,442 --> 00:09:11,944
- Sometimes I pretend
you're divorced. - Oh.
225
00:09:22,632 --> 00:09:23,967
Hey, Jackie.
226
00:09:24,518 --> 00:09:26,085
Want to have
another brainstorming sesh?
227
00:09:26,119 --> 00:09:28,388
- I can't brainstorm today.
- Well, why not?
228
00:09:28,422 --> 00:09:31,290
Because it is...
Zabvronian new year.
229
00:09:31,325 --> 00:09:33,009
Oh, happy new...year.
230
00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:35,311
- Hey, toots.
- Hey!
231
00:09:35,345 --> 00:09:37,030
Want to talk?
232
00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:41,968
I was voted "best listener"!
233
00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:45,138
Family, gather!
234
00:09:45,772 --> 00:09:47,372
Oh, baby, baby, please. Come on.
We've talked about this.
235
00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:50,159
Can you change out of
your uniform in the garage
236
00:09:50,193 --> 00:09:52,461
so that you don't stink up the
house with your burrito smell?
237
00:09:52,495 --> 00:09:54,563
I am the one
supporting this family.
238
00:09:54,597 --> 00:09:55,531
I will smell how I please.
239
00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:58,283
So, my boss and her son are
coming over tonight for dinner.
240
00:09:58,701 --> 00:10:00,002
But they think we're fancy
and British
241
00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:02,921
because, unlike our children,
we chose the best human accents.
242
00:10:02,955 --> 00:10:06,191
So I'm going to need you
to pretend to be British people.
243
00:10:06,225 --> 00:10:07,226
Absolutely not!
244
00:10:07,544 --> 00:10:09,995
I'm not gonna put on a performance
for this British snob.
245
00:10:10,029 --> 00:10:11,280
Good.
You're not invited.
246
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,649
What? Oh, now I
desperately want to go.
247
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,033
How did you do that, you devil?
248
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:16,868
No, you can't come.
She thinks we're divorced.
249
00:10:16,886 --> 00:10:19,304
Well, we'll say we're cordially
divorced and live together.
250
00:10:19,338 --> 00:10:20,706
It's modern.
251
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:22,407
"The Cosby Show" was about
a couple that lived like that.
252
00:10:22,442 --> 00:10:25,043
Okay, fine... cordially divorced
like the Cosbys.
253
00:10:25,077 --> 00:10:26,595
So, what do you say, boys?
254
00:10:26,629 --> 00:10:29,248
Can you learn how to be British
in the next eight hours?
255
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:32,201
?�?
256
00:10:32,252 --> 00:10:35,003
God save our gracious queen
257
00:10:35,054 --> 00:10:37,639
long live our noble queen
258
00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:40,309
God save the queen
259
00:10:40,343 --> 00:10:43,078
send her victorious
260
00:10:43,129 --> 00:10:45,764
happy and glorious
261
00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:48,484
long to reign over us
262
00:10:48,535 --> 00:10:50,786
God save the queen
263
00:10:50,837 --> 00:10:53,589
o lord, our God arise
264
00:10:53,623 --> 00:10:56,225
scatter her enemies
265
00:10:56,259 --> 00:10:58,494
and make them fall
mm. Yeah.
266
00:10:58,545 --> 00:11:01,463
?�? confound their politics
267
00:11:01,514 --> 00:11:04,266
frustrate their
knavish tricks
268
00:11:04,317 --> 00:11:06,568
on thee our hopes we fix
269
00:11:06,603 --> 00:11:08,837
God, save us all!
270
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:13,925
Oi!
271
00:11:13,959 --> 00:11:15,560
Oh, they're here.
272
00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:17,761
Arrange yourselves.
Yes.
273
00:11:20,449 --> 00:11:22,066
Welcome, Helen!
Come in!
274
00:11:22,084 --> 00:11:24,802
Jackie,
it's so nice to see you.
275
00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:26,437
And thank you
for inviting us...
276
00:11:26,471 --> 00:11:29,040
?�?
277
00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:32,326
The name's James Bond.
278
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,877
James Bond.
279
00:11:33,895 --> 00:11:37,031
Hi. Hi, I'm Helen.
280
00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:38,849
And this is my son, Nicholas.
281
00:11:38,850 --> 00:11:40,901
Larry Bird... the ex.
282
00:11:41,136 --> 00:11:43,103
I still live here
because we're modern.
283
00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:45,422
Sometimes I take lovers,
and they live here, too.
284
00:11:45,857 --> 00:11:48,392
We've modeled our lives after
fellow brit Tilda Swinton.
285
00:11:48,426 --> 00:11:52,012
She moved her lover into
the home she shares with her ex,
286
00:11:52,063 --> 00:11:56,683
so, you see...
I'm just a Tilda.
287
00:11:56,718 --> 00:12:00,804
And so this young man is the lover?
288
00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:02,806
What's wrong with you?!
He's our son!
289
00:12:02,824 --> 00:12:05,042
Oi, oi, oi, welcome to me flat.
290
00:12:05,076 --> 00:12:07,628
'Ope you like Manchester,
right?
291
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,763
Oh, wait.
I screwed up my intro.
292
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:13,233
The name's James... no!
293
00:12:13,268 --> 00:12:15,535
It's me... James...
Wait, that's not right.
294
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:18,622
Oi! Oi! Oi!
295
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,790
Tally ho. Pip, pip, what?
296
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,697
Hey, did you know it was
the Zabvronian new year?
297
00:12:27,732 --> 00:12:29,015
Nope. I've been
pretty slammed here.
298
00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:30,517
Well, Jackie
was weird about it,
299
00:12:30,551 --> 00:12:33,336
so I made her a banner
to cheer her up.
300
00:12:33,354 --> 00:12:34,821
I came up with this whole backstory
301
00:12:34,872 --> 00:12:37,707
for the guy in the print shop
about this imaginary land.
302
00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:40,176
And did you draw yourself
a tattoo?
303
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:41,511
Yep.
It's a rattlesnake.
304
00:12:41,545 --> 00:12:43,480
You know, I just thought
I'd temp it on there,
305
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,448
see how I felt about it
before I committed.
306
00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:47,250
So far, I'm loving it.
307
00:12:47,284 --> 00:12:51,821
Yeah, so, um, I have an idea.
308
00:12:51,856 --> 00:12:53,707
Since there's nothing
you want to talk about,
309
00:12:53,741 --> 00:12:57,026
why don't we skip the talking
and go upstairs
310
00:12:57,044 --> 00:13:01,130
and have ourselves another
date night again?
311
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,533
You're crazy.
312
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,819
Come on. You know date
night is Friday night.
313
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,954
You're crazy.
314
00:13:07,989 --> 00:13:10,256
Marty.
315
00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:11,841
Marty!
316
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,259
I-I'm sorry, hon.
I have to drill.
317
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,782
Why are we eating
in the bedroom?
318
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,402
Oh, we're eating upstairs,
because, Helen, like you,
319
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,070
we are strictly
upstairs people.
320
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,105
It's in our blood.
321
00:13:26,156 --> 00:13:28,240
Well, she crafted a tong
down the frog
322
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:31,427
for the apples and pears,
saved a lot of trouble.
323
00:13:31,461 --> 00:13:33,512
- Sorry?
- Right.
324
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:34,713
I got them anywhere
from in China,
325
00:13:34,764 --> 00:13:36,966
but, mind you,
I'm more of a Susan Boyle.
326
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,802
The name's Goldfinger.
James Goldfinger.
327
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:41,987
Dinner will be served shortly.
328
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,156
It's a traditional
English dinner.
329
00:13:44,207 --> 00:13:46,408
It's traditional shepherd's pie,
330
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,911
as is our mutual
British tradition.
331
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:51,180
Why don't you say "tradition"
one more time?
332
00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:52,264
You remind me of my ex.
333
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:53,882
'Course he does.
334
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,968
We both had terrible,
ungrateful husbands,
335
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,187
which makes us
practically twins.
336
00:13:58,221 --> 00:13:59,855
And twins look out
for each other
337
00:13:59,889 --> 00:14:01,423
in the professional world.
338
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:03,692
Care to ask my name?
339
00:14:03,726 --> 00:14:05,010
I know your name.
340
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,196
It's James Bond.
No. It's not.
341
00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,682
It's Bond. Bond Bond.
342
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:12,985
I'm tanking this.
343
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,838
Ugh! Enough!
I hate it here!
344
00:14:15,872 --> 00:14:18,791
I'll be downstairs
playing "Mario."
345
00:14:18,842 --> 00:14:20,009
Fine! Fine! Fine! Fine!
346
00:14:20,043 --> 00:14:21,510
You leave me
just like your father.
347
00:14:21,544 --> 00:14:26,849
Well, let's not allow
that sad parenting moment
348
00:14:26,883 --> 00:14:29,168
to ruin an otherwise
glorious evening.
349
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:34,023
Boys, sing us the music
of our people!
350
00:14:39,562 --> 00:14:41,046
?�? If you want to be my lover
351
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,265
?�? you got to get
with my friends
352
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,734
got to get with my friends
with my friends
353
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:57,704
Happy new year!
354
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,109
Oh, who are you?
355
00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:03,076
I'm Nicholas.
356
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,878
Are you visiting
for new year's?
357
00:15:04,912 --> 00:15:06,513
Oh, great.
You're crazy, too.
358
00:15:06,547 --> 00:15:09,283
Is someone here?
Oh, Debbie. Hi.
359
00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:12,302
I was just drawing our
family new year's bath.
360
00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:15,088
Oh, hell no.
No, I'll be in the car.
361
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,307
Jackie, what's going on here?
362
00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:20,544
- Hello, pussycat.
- Oh, hi, Dick.
363
00:15:20,578 --> 00:15:22,495
Happy new year!
364
00:15:22,513 --> 00:15:24,298
I don't know what you're
talking about, pussycat.
365
00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:28,452
Jackie, didn't you say it was
the Zabvronian new year?
366
00:15:28,486 --> 00:15:30,054
All right, fine,
I made the whole thing up,
367
00:15:30,088 --> 00:15:32,072
'cause I didn't want you
to know the truth,
368
00:15:32,106 --> 00:15:34,157
which is that I got a menial job.
369
00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:35,475
You did?
370
00:15:35,509 --> 00:15:36,643
Yes.
371
00:15:36,677 --> 00:15:38,528
I'm actually entertaining
my boss right now
372
00:15:38,579 --> 00:15:40,380
in the hopes of a promotion.
373
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:43,483
Oh, Jackie, I'm so sorry.
Why didn't you tell me?
374
00:15:43,517 --> 00:15:45,185
Because I didn't want you
to look down on me.
375
00:15:45,219 --> 00:15:47,270
You're always saying you
wouldn't want to do any work
376
00:15:47,305 --> 00:15:49,239
that wasn't fulfilling,
and my job is...
377
00:15:49,273 --> 00:15:50,323
It's just a job.
378
00:15:50,358 --> 00:15:52,259
Jackie, do you know
how many "just jobs"
379
00:15:52,293 --> 00:15:53,810
I've had in my lifetime?
380
00:15:53,844 --> 00:15:55,094
No.
381
00:15:55,112 --> 00:15:58,164
Oh, a cater waiter,
a dish washer, a hair washer,
382
00:15:58,198 --> 00:15:59,832
a dish dryer, a hair dryer...
383
00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:02,903
I spent most of my 20s
getting things wet or unwet.
384
00:16:04,405 --> 00:16:05,872
I'm proud of you, Jackie.
385
00:16:05,907 --> 00:16:08,608
There's nothing embarrassing
about supporting your family.
386
00:16:08,642 --> 00:16:09,826
Thank you, Debbie.
387
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:11,928
If only my husband
shared your opinion.
388
00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:15,581
Oh, husbands are exhausting.
Mine...
389
00:16:15,615 --> 00:16:17,784
Hey, Larry can I talk to...
390
00:16:17,818 --> 00:16:19,118
You?
391
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,820
- Why do you need to talk to Larry?
- That's it!
392
00:16:21,938 --> 00:16:25,207
I can't take one more minute
with that British snob.
393
00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:27,242
Oh, do you need more advice?
394
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:29,878
Is it still about trying to lift
something off of Debbie?
395
00:16:29,913 --> 00:16:33,799
You talked to him,
but you didn't talk to me?
396
00:16:33,817 --> 00:16:37,453
Deb, wait a minute...
Just one second.
397
00:16:37,504 --> 00:16:40,022
Ohh, this is exhausting.
398
00:16:40,056 --> 00:16:43,292
Can we please stop
trying to impress people
399
00:16:43,326 --> 00:16:45,778
and get that dreadful woman
out of my bedroom/dining room?
400
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:47,896
No, we cannot, Larry.
401
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:49,881
We have to impress her so
that she gives me a promotion
402
00:16:49,915 --> 00:16:53,268
so that we can keep the
electricity on for our children.
403
00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:55,236
If you will excuse me,
404
00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,205
I am going to go and try
and salvage the evening.
405
00:16:57,256 --> 00:16:59,724
Why don't you buy yourself
another foot massager,
406
00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:02,560
seeing as you refuse to be
part of the solution?!
407
00:17:10,002 --> 00:17:14,039
Yes, I am part of the problem.
408
00:17:14,073 --> 00:17:18,043
Deb. Come on, Deb.
Deb, stop. Stop.
409
00:17:18,077 --> 00:17:20,945
Please, just listen to me, okay.
410
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:22,664
I was embarrassed.
411
00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:24,666
I never had
that problem before.
412
00:17:24,717 --> 00:17:26,584
It didn't exactly make me feel
like Mickey Rourke.
413
00:17:29,087 --> 00:17:31,438
You need to update
your sexy reference.
414
00:17:31,473 --> 00:17:35,059
Marty,
we've been together 28 years.
415
00:17:35,093 --> 00:17:37,995
What happened last night
has never happened.
416
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,296
Well, now,
there was that one time
417
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:41,432
after the really upsetting
episode of "S.V.U."
418
00:17:41,466 --> 00:17:43,117
- Remember?
- Doesn't count.
419
00:17:43,168 --> 00:17:45,035
That was your body
being respectful.
420
00:17:45,053 --> 00:17:46,687
- That's true.
- Other than that,
421
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:49,957
your reputation is flawless.
422
00:17:49,991 --> 00:17:51,441
Well,
when you say it like that,
423
00:17:51,459 --> 00:17:54,044
I guess...
I'm kind of like a stud, huh?
424
00:17:54,062 --> 00:17:56,847
I'm a regular Michael Bolton.
425
00:17:56,865 --> 00:18:01,252
Michael Bolton?
We need to get you out more.
426
00:18:01,286 --> 00:18:03,904
Apologies
for all the craziness.
427
00:18:03,939 --> 00:18:07,024
I guarantee that my ahepherd's
pie is well worth the wait.
428
00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:11,612
Baa!
429
00:18:11,646 --> 00:18:16,684
Okay. Okay, I think it's time
that I joined my son.
430
00:18:16,718 --> 00:18:18,302
You people are insane.
431
00:18:18,336 --> 00:18:19,937
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Um, okay.
432
00:18:19,971 --> 00:18:21,906
Look, it's just that...
I'm not...
433
00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:23,040
We're not...
434
00:18:23,074 --> 00:18:24,741
We are not who we say we are.
435
00:18:24,759 --> 00:18:28,178
Well, we're not British society.
436
00:18:28,213 --> 00:18:29,363
Larry Bird.
437
00:18:29,397 --> 00:18:34,552
Yes, I was once
a fancy daddy's boy.
438
00:18:34,786 --> 00:18:38,505
I rowed crew on the Charles,
traveled with Prince Charles,
439
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,858
went to every taping
of "Charles in charge,"
440
00:18:41,692 --> 00:18:43,459
but then my father cut me off.
441
00:18:43,493 --> 00:18:46,729
My ex-wife was hoping
to impress you tonight
442
00:18:46,764 --> 00:18:48,731
so that you would
promote her to manager,
443
00:18:48,766 --> 00:18:53,002
because she is the only one
supporting our family.
444
00:18:53,037 --> 00:18:55,688
I tried to pretend I was helping
by keeping up appearances.
445
00:18:55,723 --> 00:18:59,642
But the truth is,
I never had a real job,
446
00:18:59,676 --> 00:19:03,913
at least not one I didn't
inherit from my father.
447
00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:06,833
What if I find that my wife
is good at everything,
448
00:19:06,867 --> 00:19:08,801
and I'm no good
at anything at all?
449
00:19:08,836 --> 00:19:11,487
Oh, God.
450
00:19:11,505 --> 00:19:13,756
So just another useless
trust-fund baby.
451
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,258
Yeah, exactly like my ex.
452
00:19:15,292 --> 00:19:18,561
Jackie, I thought
I saw myself in you.
453
00:19:18,596 --> 00:19:21,381
I didn't realize we'd both
married the exact same moron.
454
00:19:21,415 --> 00:19:24,467
However,
you will get your promotion.
455
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:28,071
Oh! Because I can't see how you can
support two children and a fool
456
00:19:28,105 --> 00:19:31,407
by squirting cheese out of
the end of a sword all day.
457
00:19:31,441 --> 00:19:33,826
Oh, thank you so much!
458
00:19:33,877 --> 00:19:35,178
I-I don't know
how I'm going to repay you.
459
00:19:35,245 --> 00:19:38,464
Aw. Well, you can start by not
inviting me to dinner again.
460
00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:40,483
Oh.
Good night.
461
00:19:44,204 --> 00:19:46,422
- To Jackie!
- To Jackie!
462
00:19:46,457 --> 00:19:49,459
What about me? I really
came through in the end.
463
00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:52,028
I mean, it seemed like it was
Jackie's story at the beginning,
464
00:19:52,062 --> 00:19:53,646
but it was really my story
at the end.
465
00:19:53,681 --> 00:19:55,581
I'm the one who grew.
466
00:19:55,616 --> 00:19:56,899
We're very proud of you, too, Larry.
467
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,835
And from now on,
no more secrets.
468
00:19:58,869 --> 00:19:59,986
Oh, it's okay.
469
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:01,971
When it comes to money and sex,
470
00:20:02,005 --> 00:20:04,023
humans should keep
some things to themselves.
471
00:20:04,058 --> 00:20:05,325
- What? Who's talking about sex?
- Hmm.
472
00:20:06,159 --> 00:20:07,459
Seriously?
473
00:20:07,494 --> 00:20:09,144
Oh, sorry, guys.
474
00:20:09,162 --> 00:20:11,980
That's the alarm for me to take
my new cholesterol meds.
475
00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:13,665
Wait, is your medication the one
with the tv commercial
476
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,318
with the couple dancing
in the gazebo?
477
00:20:16,336 --> 00:20:17,986
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- I hate that he has to take it.
478
00:20:18,021 --> 00:20:19,037
I watched this segment
479
00:20:19,088 --> 00:20:21,256
on the 11th hour
of the "Today" show
480
00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:22,541
where they talked
about the side effects.
481
00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:24,843
Yeah, well, luckily,
I haven't had any side eff...
482
00:20:24,878 --> 00:20:28,330
- The cholesterol medicine!
- Of course!
483
00:20:28,364 --> 00:20:29,598
- I knew it wasn't me!
- Oh!
484
00:20:31,968 --> 00:20:34,353
- That was me.
- Mm.
485
00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:39,808
Excuse me.
486
00:20:41,668 --> 00:20:44,001
Goodbye,
solar-powered blender.
487
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:46,388
Oh, the fun we would
have had on the beach.
488
00:20:46,439 --> 00:20:50,174
Fare thee well,
bidet-on-the-go.
489
00:20:50,192 --> 00:20:53,561
May you find someone else
to keep as fresh as a Daisy.
490
00:20:53,612 --> 00:20:55,697
Well, that's it.
491
00:20:55,731 --> 00:20:58,015
That's all my fanciness.
492
00:20:58,034 --> 00:20:59,200
Mm.
493
00:20:59,235 --> 00:21:01,269
- Mm.
- Mm.
494
00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:03,855
All right.
495
00:21:03,873 --> 00:21:07,358
That's everything,
you bloodhound.
496
00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:09,327
We'll mail this back tomorrow.
497
00:21:09,361 --> 00:21:11,329
I'm very proud of you, husband.
498
00:21:11,363 --> 00:21:15,750
I hope your pride keeps my
head as warm as a summer day
499
00:21:15,785 --> 00:21:19,838
and my undercarriage as
fresh as a spring morning.
500
00:21:19,872 --> 00:21:22,173
?�?
501
00:21:22,207 --> 00:21:24,059
the name's Bond.
502
00:21:24,093 --> 00:21:25,527
James Bond.
503
00:21:25,561 --> 00:21:27,629
Dick! It's over!
504
00:21:27,696 --> 00:21:29,614
Aw, bloody hell.
505
00:21:29,615 --> 00:21:33,515
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
506
00:21:33,565 --> 00:21:38,115
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37503
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