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Subs by Traff and Raceman
www.forom.com
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It is not stalking.
3
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:07,883
It's totally stalking.
4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,051
One of you has a stalker?
5
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,345
Or one of us is a stalker.
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,888
I'm not a stalker!
7
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:13,972
What's going on?
8
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,933
There's this guy
who lives in the neighborhood
9
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,977
that Kat follows around and takes, like,
a million pictures of.
10
00:00:19,146 --> 00:00:22,060
I am an artist.
He is my subject.
11
00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,391
Does he know
he's your subject?
12
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,103
No.
13
00:00:26,279 --> 00:00:30,282
Do you hide when you do your "art"?
Sometimes in bushes?
14
00:00:30,449 --> 00:00:32,491
Okay, fine.
I get it. But I'm sorry.
15
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:36,161
If you're that hot and you leave your house,
then you're asking to be stalked.
16
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:38,990
Well, clearly you know the law.
17
00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:43,503
Here. Check him out.
Tell me I'm wrong.
18
00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:46,790
Wow.
These are all him?
19
00:00:46,966 --> 00:00:48,041
No.
20
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:52,513
This one's his car.
And this is his house.
21
00:00:52,676 --> 00:00:54,170
And this one's his
favorite restaurant.
22
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:58,103
Aww, you're gonna go to jail.
23
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:01,311
- Hey, I know this guy.
- No way.
24
00:01:01,476 --> 00:01:04,062
His name's Benjamin Chow.
His kid is a patient.
25
00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:10,572
Yeah, how could he have a kid
when he's spent his entire life waiting to have sex with me?
26
00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:12,861
He's divorced,
if that helps.
27
00:01:13,036 --> 00:01:15,653
Oh, yeah, that explains why no ring.
28
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:19,583
Here, this one's a close-up
of his gorgeous, tapered fingers.
29
00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:22,700
Seriously, jail.
30
00:01:23,007 --> 00:01:24,291
He's a pretty big deal violinist.
31
00:01:24,456 --> 00:01:26,252
He plays with orchestras
around the world.
32
00:01:26,428 --> 00:01:29,380
Oh, yeah.
That explains...
33
00:01:29,546 --> 00:01:30,962
The violin case.
34
00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:32,462
This is a picture of his ass.
35
00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:36,722
Yeah, I don't have any of the case.
36
00:02:02,788 --> 00:02:04,160
Oh, come on in!
37
00:02:04,335 --> 00:02:05,372
Hey there.
38
00:02:05,545 --> 00:02:06,370
Hey.
39
00:02:06,548 --> 00:02:08,461
Oh, your place is so cute.
40
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:09,831
Aw, thanks.
41
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:14,173
And the rent's really cheap
because someone was murdered in it.
42
00:02:14,345 --> 00:02:16,923
Lucky you!
43
00:02:18,188 --> 00:02:20,180
Aw, I'm-- I'm glad we're doing this.
44
00:02:20,345 --> 00:02:21,183
Yeah, me too.
45
00:02:21,355 --> 00:02:23,563
Yeah, we should have, like,
a regular lunch thing.
46
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:24,722
That'd be nice.
47
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,023
You're--you're thinking,
"Let's see how this one goes?"
48
00:02:28,197 --> 00:02:31,270
No. But let's see.
49
00:02:33,025 --> 00:02:33,731
Oh, oh.
50
00:02:33,908 --> 00:02:36,573
Um, do you notice anything different?
51
00:02:36,745 --> 00:02:37,741
You got toes!
52
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,160
I know!
53
00:02:40,325 --> 00:02:42,740
I just-- I love my new casts.
54
00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:45,872
They're--they're lighter
and more bendy.
55
00:02:46,046 --> 00:02:48,460
Look, I'm almost running.
56
00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:50,253
Well, that's gotta make things easier.
57
00:02:50,426 --> 00:02:52,752
Especially for you and Richie, huh?
58
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:55,053
I could've just thought that.
59
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,262
No, it's okay.
60
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,260
I mean, I'm--I'm fine
with the sex talk.
61
00:02:58,427 --> 00:02:59,472
It's just, uh...
62
00:02:59,636 --> 00:03:02,431
Richie and I don't have much
to talk about yet.
63
00:03:02,595 --> 00:03:05,511
Oh--I just assumed
that you two had already,
64
00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:08,893
but--it makes sense, with the casts
and the chair, and--
65
00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:12,813
Yeah, I don't think that's it.
66
00:03:12,986 --> 00:03:13,981
No?
67
00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:17,233
Well, I don't want to pry--
I mean, I want to pry, but...
68
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,193
No, no, it's-- it's okay.
69
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,110
Um...we're waiting.
70
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:24,452
Well, I'm waiting for him.
71
00:03:24,625 --> 00:03:27,833
I-I don't know what the hell
he's waiting for.
72
00:03:28,005 --> 00:03:29,410
- Yes, go, go, go!
- Come on, no, no, no!
73
00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,923
No, stop him!
74
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:32,881
Who are you rooting for?
75
00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:34,462
Jersey.
Who are you rooting for?
76
00:03:34,635 --> 00:03:37,000
Miami.
77
00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:39,921
Hey, how's the game?
78
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,052
Unbelievable.
79
00:03:41,227 --> 00:03:45,010
The Heat were down big at halftime,
and then Shaq, like, took over and scored 20 points, and--
80
00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:51,100
Okay, in the future, when I ask "How's the game,"
please don't mistake that for actual interest.
81
00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:53,023
Well, I have something
you might be interested in.
82
00:03:53,195 --> 00:03:56,901
Guess who was in my office today?
Benjamin Chow.
83
00:03:57,076 --> 00:03:57,901
Seriously?
84
00:03:58,076 --> 00:03:59,573
Wait, the violinist?
85
00:03:59,748 --> 00:04:01,402
- He was in your office?
- Yeah.
86
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:05,742
His kid had a fever,
and this rash all over his body.
87
00:04:05,918 --> 00:04:07,030
Benjamin Chow is so hot.
88
00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:09,333
Totally.
89
00:04:09,496 --> 00:04:11,660
Kid's gonna be fine,
by the way.
90
00:04:11,838 --> 00:04:14,753
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
More about the guy with the ass.
91
00:04:14,927 --> 00:04:19,250
Well, it turns out he's not seeing anyone,
so I told him about you and I gave him your number,
92
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,463
and he's gonna call ya.
93
00:04:20,637 --> 00:04:21,591
How much do you love me?
94
00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:22,802
Not at all!
95
00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:25,513
Huh, I saw that going the other way.
96
00:04:25,688 --> 00:04:27,050
Why the hell did you do that?
97
00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:31,681
Um...because sometimes,
when we humans like other humans,
98
00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:33,440
our friends will try to set us up.
99
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,520
How does it work on Planet Angry?
100
00:04:36,695 --> 00:04:38,612
Look, right now he
and I have a great thing going.
101
00:04:38,775 --> 00:04:42,110
If I meet him,
it's just going to mess it all up.
102
00:04:42,288 --> 00:04:44,701
How's that therapy coming?
103
00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:48,530
Hey. New guy.
Little soon for the zingers.
104
00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:50,160
So you really don't want to meet him?
105
00:04:50,336 --> 00:04:52,371
No! It's just gonna disappoint me.
106
00:04:52,546 --> 00:04:57,332
You just know that the real guy's gonna be,
like, a vegan, or a morning person,
107
00:04:57,507 --> 00:05:01,631
or, like, refer to
his house as his "crib."
108
00:05:01,807 --> 00:05:05,130
I only said that once.
109
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:06,840
You said it twice today.
110
00:05:07,018 --> 00:05:10,223
That's because
we're hanging in my crib!
111
00:05:10,395 --> 00:05:11,973
Anyway, what if he's not
any of those things?
112
00:05:12,147 --> 00:05:14,641
What if it turns out
he eats meat and sleeps late
113
00:05:14,818 --> 00:05:16,902
and is just, like,
an all-around perfect guy?
114
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:21,232
Well, then he's too perfect,
and that's just annoying.
115
00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:22,532
I wasn't kidding about the therapy.
116
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,952
I said it's too soon!
117
00:05:26,115 --> 00:05:27,532
- Morning.
- Hey.
118
00:05:27,707 --> 00:05:28,492
Is Richie here yet?
119
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:29,620
Nah, he's running late.
120
00:05:29,785 --> 00:05:31,583
- Why, what's he doing?
- I don't know.
121
00:05:31,746 --> 00:05:35,121
I know what he's not doing.
122
00:05:35,295 --> 00:05:37,003
What's that mean?
123
00:05:37,176 --> 00:05:38,381
I can't say.
124
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,133
Ugh.
125
00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:41,751
All right.
126
00:05:41,928 --> 00:05:44,051
I had lunch with Lina yesterday
and she told me something in confidence.
127
00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:45,761
I really shouldn't share it.
128
00:05:45,927 --> 00:05:47,090
Fine.
129
00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,142
Make a little effort!
130
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,931
Why--you know
you're gonna tell me anyway.
131
00:05:51,106 --> 00:05:52,430
Come on.
You gotta draw it out of me.
132
00:05:52,606 --> 00:05:53,930
That's my process.
133
00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:54,811
Fine.
134
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,193
Please, I'm begging you,
what did Lina say?
135
00:05:57,446 --> 00:06:00,311
Okay, I can't believe
I'm telling you this.
136
00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:04,113
Richie and Lina haven't slept together yet.
137
00:06:04,286 --> 00:06:05,741
- Really.
- I told you it was good.
138
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,912
And we don't know why.
139
00:06:09,076 --> 00:06:12,203
Lina's waiting for Richie
to make it happen, and it is not happening.
140
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:13,952
So...
141
00:06:14,127 --> 00:06:16,212
You gotta find out
what's going on.
142
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,582
Me? No.
143
00:06:17,756 --> 00:06:18,540
Oh, come on.
144
00:06:18,713 --> 00:06:23,131
Maybe he just needs someone to talk to.
And you're probably his best friend.
145
00:06:23,307 --> 00:06:25,803
Really? Huh.
146
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,222
Aww.
147
00:06:29,309 --> 00:06:32,102
Good morning.
148
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,182
Hey, buddy.
149
00:06:37,108 --> 00:06:39,772
Yeah, okay.
150
00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:42,310
Hey, how's the game?
151
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:47,951
It's great--the Sixers are being out-shot
and out-rebounded, but they've managed--
152
00:06:48,118 --> 00:06:49,952
I remember now.
153
00:06:50,117 --> 00:06:51,372
Guess what I did last night.
154
00:06:51,538 --> 00:06:52,821
What?
155
00:06:52,998 --> 00:06:55,240
So. You're here a lot.
156
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:59,410
My boyfriend's from Chile,
and there's this huge South American soccer thing on.
157
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:03,793
So if I want to watch basketball, I--
158
00:07:04,098 --> 00:07:04,673
Kind of hurts.
159
00:07:04,847 --> 00:07:07,012
You get used to it.
160
00:07:07,175 --> 00:07:08,511
Anyway. So.
161
00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:12,802
Last night, I went out
with one Benjamin Chow.
162
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:14,391
- Oh, my God.
- Yep.
163
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,522
He called me at the last minute
to see if I was doing anything,
164
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,391
and, you know,
I didn't want to seem too available,
165
00:07:18,566 --> 00:07:20,141
so I made up some fake plans.
166
00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:21,312
What'd you go with?
167
00:07:21,485 --> 00:07:24,690
Oh, just meeting up with some fake friends,
going to see some really cool fake bands.
168
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,022
But you were able to get out of it?
169
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,782
Yeah, but my fake friends are really pissed.
170
00:07:28,946 --> 00:07:30,113
So how'd it go?
171
00:07:30,286 --> 00:07:31,490
- Oh, it was awesome.
- Really?
172
00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:32,242
Yeah.
173
00:07:32,416 --> 00:07:36,122
First of all, up close,
he's so hot, you want to punch him.
174
00:07:36,298 --> 00:07:40,913
And he smells incredible,
but, I mean, you already knew that part.
175
00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:44,590
Believe it or not, I try to avoid
sniffing the kids' parents.
176
00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:50,922
Oh, he's so cool, and he travels,
and he, like, knows stuff about stuff.
177
00:07:51,097 --> 00:07:52,300
Wow.
178
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:54,853
Sounds like you owe
a big "thank you" to somebody.
179
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:55,800
Dude.
180
00:07:55,977 --> 00:07:58,182
Don't throw yourself a parade just yet.
181
00:07:58,358 --> 00:07:59,350
I mean, it's one date, you know?
182
00:07:59,525 --> 00:08:01,442
We don't even know
if he had a good time.
183
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:04,523
Well, why don't we call him
and find out?
184
00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:07,612
Dial. Chow. Cell.
185
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:10,740
You. Huge. Dork.
186
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,243
Benjamin, hi.
Uh, it's Dr. Haas.
187
00:08:14,416 --> 00:08:16,162
I was just checking on Jonah.
188
00:08:16,336 --> 00:08:17,490
- Come on...
- Great.
189
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:20,541
If the rash recurs,
we can try a different medication.
190
00:08:20,706 --> 00:08:22,413
Hey, did you ever call my friend?
191
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,713
Oh, yeah? How'd it go?
192
00:08:24,885 --> 00:08:27,341
Yeah, she is terrific.
193
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:28,422
Anyway...
194
00:08:28,598 --> 00:08:30,210
Well, um... I've gotta go.
195
00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:33,011
Someone else needs to use the phone.
196
00:08:33,186 --> 00:08:34,223
Bye. What?!
197
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,593
Is he gonna call me again?
198
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,102
How would I know that?
199
00:08:37,265 --> 00:08:40,273
I totally got it.
200
00:08:40,898 --> 00:08:42,432
Your mom makes great tuna.
201
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,480
The best.
202
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:44,652
Oh, is that celery?
203
00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:47,021
Sure is.
204
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:49,943
So, you and Lina hittin' it?
205
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:50,650
Excuse me?
206
00:08:50,827 --> 00:08:52,282
You know, you guys, like...
207
00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:53,781
Oh!
208
00:08:53,955 --> 00:08:55,162
O h.
209
00:08:55,325 --> 00:08:57,533
Um...
210
00:08:57,707 --> 00:09:01,121
Uh, well, uh,
there has been no hitting it.
211
00:09:01,297 --> 00:09:02,451
Per se.
212
00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:03,540
- Um...
- Really.
213
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,713
Yeah, I would like to hit it.
214
00:09:05,875 --> 00:09:07,883
I would like very,
very much to hit it.
215
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,551
But, um...
216
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:16,432
Everything else is going so well with Lina,
I don't want the... hitting it to screw it up.
217
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:19,723
Well, why would it?
218
00:09:20,725 --> 00:09:26,101
Um...I have been told
that I'm, uh, not very good at it.
219
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,402
That is a shrinker.
220
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:35,493
Look, you have to understand,
Fern is the only woman I've ever been with.
221
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,160
- And--
- Whoa, hold on. Back it up.
222
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,701
You've only been with one woman?
223
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:40,740
- Right.
- Like, just one?
224
00:09:40,915 --> 00:09:42,452
- Mm-hmm.
- Not like one, and then another one--
225
00:09:42,628 --> 00:09:45,252
No, just one.
226
00:09:45,415 --> 00:09:46,460
So, like...
227
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:53,963
You could chop off nine of your fingers,
and you could still count how many women you've been with?
228
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:59,641
Hopefully, I won't have to go to those lengths
to help you understand this, but...
229
00:09:59,805 --> 00:10:01,393
So, um...
230
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,430
Bedroom-wise,
Fern was not a fan.
231
00:10:04,608 --> 00:10:05,980
No, no.
232
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:10,231
We'd be in the middle of it, and...
she'd start to read a magazine,
233
00:10:10,407 --> 00:10:11,861
or...
234
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,901
make a list...
235
00:10:14,075 --> 00:10:17,822
You know, I'd--I'd be--
at some crucial moment, and she'd say,
236
00:10:17,997 --> 00:10:21,333
"Are you gonna call
the plumber or am I?"
237
00:10:21,497 --> 00:10:25,583
Sometimes she'd call the plumber...
238
00:10:26,087 --> 00:10:27,163
Look, I love Lina.
239
00:10:27,337 --> 00:10:32,422
I mean, what's gonna happen
when she finds out that going to bed with me is like...
240
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:38,800
Well, Fern said it was like having an old,
damp man die on top of her.
241
00:10:40,937 --> 00:10:43,181
Wow.
242
00:10:44,528 --> 00:10:45,772
All right, you know what?
243
00:10:45,935 --> 00:10:48,060
That's Fern talking.
I mean, it's Fern.
244
00:10:48,236 --> 00:10:52,110
In the entire time you were married to her,
did she ever tell you you did one thing well?
245
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:52,693
No.
246
00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:56,190
No, so how can you trust anything she says?
247
00:10:56,366 --> 00:10:56,862
I guess...
248
00:10:57,036 --> 00:10:58,532
Hey, dude, you gotta do this thing.
249
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:01,240
And listen to me.
You're gonna be awesome.
250
00:11:01,415 --> 00:11:07,620
And I have never said that to another man
who wasn't me in the mirror.
251
00:11:09,005 --> 00:11:10,503
Well, thanks a lot.
252
00:11:10,677 --> 00:11:11,502
Morning.
253
00:11:11,678 --> 00:11:14,003
You said Benjamin liked me,
and he still hasn't called.
254
00:11:14,178 --> 00:11:14,842
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
255
00:11:15,005 --> 00:11:17,882
I've been staring
at this stupid thing for the last 24 hours.
256
00:11:18,056 --> 00:11:19,342
Did it ring?
Did I miss it?
257
00:11:19,516 --> 00:11:20,343
Maybe it's a weak signal.
258
00:11:20,516 --> 00:11:25,013
I actually slept on my couch
because I get two more bars there.
259
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:27,223
I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you.
260
00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:28,770
This is so messed up.
261
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,812
I've never been the girl
waiting for the phone to ring.
262
00:11:30,986 --> 00:11:33,481
I hate being this girl.
And it's all your fault.
263
00:11:33,658 --> 00:11:34,482
- My fault?
- Uh-huh.
264
00:11:34,658 --> 00:11:36,070
I never asked to go out with this guy.
265
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,570
I was happy the way things were before.
266
00:11:37,737 --> 00:11:41,323
At least when I was stalking him,
it was on my terms.
267
00:11:41,496 --> 00:11:44,871
Look, it's only been two days.
He could still call.
268
00:11:45,036 --> 00:11:45,950
- Oh, you think so?
- Uh-huh.
269
00:11:46,126 --> 00:11:47,580
Well, then, you know what? Here.
270
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,291
Now you can be the one
waiting for it to ring.
271
00:11:49,455 --> 00:11:50,620
- Wait, it's your phone.
- I don't care!
272
00:11:50,798 --> 00:11:51,751
You started it.
273
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,043
I don't even want to know if he calls.
274
00:11:53,218 --> 00:11:55,790
You tell me the minute he calls.
275
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,963
If my mother calls, you tell her
she knows why I'm not talking to her.
276
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:06,640
And if Blockbuster calls, you tell them
I returned that stupid penguin movie two months ago!
277
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:13,561
Can I come in yet?
278
00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:16,150
Almost.
279
00:12:20,695 --> 00:12:21,451
Is everything okay?
280
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:24,701
Everything's fine.
281
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,841
Okay, come out.
282
00:12:46,355 --> 00:12:48,933
Look at this.
It's beautiful.
283
00:12:49,108 --> 00:12:51,430
And warm.
284
00:12:51,606 --> 00:12:53,060
What's all this for?
285
00:12:53,237 --> 00:12:55,231
Well, I was thinking...
286
00:12:55,406 --> 00:12:57,653
tonight...
287
00:12:57,816 --> 00:13:00,362
you know.
288
00:13:01,037 --> 00:13:03,612
I do know.
289
00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:11,700
That's nice.
290
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:12,911
Yeah?
291
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:16,173
First base, check.
292
00:13:20,388 --> 00:13:22,383
Staring at that phone
won't make it ring.
293
00:13:22,557 --> 00:13:25,511
I'm not staring.
294
00:13:25,726 --> 00:13:28,511
I'm sorry, how do you say you like someone
and then not call?
295
00:13:28,688 --> 00:13:29,353
I've done it.
296
00:13:29,515 --> 00:13:32,310
Yeah, me too.
297
00:13:32,857 --> 00:13:34,101
How many does Iverson have?
298
00:13:34,277 --> 00:13:36,140
28.
299
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:39,731
Same amount of hours
I've been waiting for the phone to ring!
300
00:13:39,908 --> 00:13:41,190
- Oh, dear lord.
- You know what?
301
00:13:41,365 --> 00:13:43,693
Screw it. I'm calling him.
302
00:13:43,868 --> 00:13:46,861
Dial. Chow. Cell.
303
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:50,583
Your phone must hate you.
304
00:13:50,745 --> 00:13:52,411
It's ringing.
305
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:53,450
What are you gonna say?
306
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:55,461
I don't know.
307
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,501
What am I gonna say?
308
00:13:57,675 --> 00:14:01,421
Oh, God, what am I gonna say?
309
00:14:02,636 --> 00:14:03,513
- Did he answer?
- Mm-hmm.
310
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:04,671
- And you just hung up?
- Mm-hmm.
311
00:14:04,848 --> 00:14:07,432
Atta girl.
312
00:14:13,188 --> 00:14:13,722
Hey.
313
00:14:13,897 --> 00:14:15,811
Hi, it's me.
So did you talk to Richie?
314
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,440
- Yeah, we talked.
- And?
315
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:20,900
And, uh, I really don't feel comfortable
betraying his confidence.
316
00:14:21,065 --> 00:14:23,613
What the crap?
Come on, I betrayed Lina's.
317
00:14:23,787 --> 00:14:24,530
Sorry.
318
00:14:24,695 --> 00:14:27,490
I can't believe you're not gonna--
319
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:28,531
Are you messing with me?
320
00:14:28,707 --> 00:14:31,202
That's my process.
321
00:14:31,377 --> 00:14:32,783
All right, look.
Here's the deal.
322
00:14:32,957 --> 00:14:35,620
He wants to do it, but he's scared
because his ex-wife used to tell him
323
00:14:35,797 --> 00:14:36,871
he was terrible at it.
324
00:14:37,047 --> 00:14:39,542
Oh, poor Richie.
What'd you say?
325
00:14:39,718 --> 00:14:41,252
I told him she doesn't know
what she's talking about.
326
00:14:41,426 --> 00:14:42,711
He should just go for it.
327
00:14:42,887 --> 00:14:44,252
That's what you said?
328
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,553
Yeah, why?
329
00:14:45,716 --> 00:14:50,052
Well, what if he's really not good at it?
330
00:14:50,228 --> 00:14:52,393
I mean, what if he really is terrible?
331
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,852
That could really mess them up.
332
00:14:54,015 --> 00:14:55,102
How bad could he be?
333
00:14:55,277 --> 00:14:56,931
Well, before I married your father--
334
00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:00,601
Ma! How long you been on?
335
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:05,070
Excuse me, I'm telling a story.
336
00:15:05,236 --> 00:15:09,490
Before I married your father,
I was in love with a guy from South Philly
337
00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:11,242
named Andy Giamatto.
338
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:13,913
You are not a part of this conversation.
339
00:15:14,088 --> 00:15:16,503
I swear, I would've married that man.
340
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,870
And then I slept with him.
341
00:15:18,045 --> 00:15:20,173
Hang up. Hang up the phone right now.
342
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:22,130
You wanna talk about bad in bed--
343
00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:24,002
No! I don't!
344
00:15:24,178 --> 00:15:25,881
Listen, Nicole's right.
345
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:29,383
If Richie's as awful as he says he is,
then that's it for the two of them.
346
00:15:29,558 --> 00:15:30,090
It's over.
347
00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:30,883
Good-bye, Ma.
348
00:15:31,058 --> 00:15:32,223
Good-bye, Nicole.
349
00:15:32,396 --> 00:15:34,641
Bye.
350
00:15:35,187 --> 00:15:38,231
Oh, wait a minute.
It was Tony Giamatto.
351
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:39,353
Andy was great in bed.
352
00:15:39,526 --> 00:15:41,983
Get off!
353
00:15:42,278 --> 00:15:44,021
So did Richie say
when this was gonna happen?
354
00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:44,862
I think tonight.
355
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,693
Tonight? You have to stop him.
356
00:15:46,866 --> 00:15:48,693
- Me again?
- You're his best friend.
357
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:51,413
Yeah, that is true.
358
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:52,870
Just tell him to wait a little more.
359
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,412
Why? He's not gonna get any better at it.
360
00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:59,121
But maybe with a little more time,
she'll be so in love that it won't matter.
361
00:15:59,298 --> 00:16:01,212
Oh, God. All right, I'll call him.
362
00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:03,171
Okay, and then call me back
the second you hang up.
363
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:05,293
You know, you might want to
think about getting a hobby.
364
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:08,463
This is my hobby.
365
00:16:10,426 --> 00:16:13,842
* You're my sweet baby *
366
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,810
* I love you *
367
00:16:25,907 --> 00:16:27,820
I'm sor-- I'll get rid of it.
368
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,612
Um...one of these buttons sends it to voicemail.
369
00:16:30,785 --> 00:16:30,900
Rich?
370
00:16:31,078 --> 00:16:33,073
Not that one.
371
00:16:33,248 --> 00:16:33,740
Hello?
372
00:16:33,918 --> 00:16:35,621
Hey, man, uh...
373
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,290
Listen, you know that stuff
that we were talking about yesterday?
374
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:38,663
Yes.
375
00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:43,083
Okay, well, I was thinking,
what if Fern was right?
376
00:16:43,255 --> 00:16:44,792
What?
377
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:49,593
Look, I mean, what if you're really not so great
in the bed department?
378
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:52,803
Why are you doing this to me?
379
00:16:52,977 --> 00:16:54,303
Nicole thinks that--
380
00:16:54,478 --> 00:16:55,390
You told Nicole?
381
00:16:55,555 --> 00:16:56,140
It's cool.
382
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,560
She's great with secrets.
383
00:16:58,728 --> 00:17:01,930
But we just think that, you know,
you might want to hold off a bit.
384
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,481
- You and Nicole.
- Also me.
385
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,733
Ma!
386
00:17:05,908 --> 00:17:08,690
I-I gotta go.
387
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,031
Everything okay?
388
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,940
Oh, yeah. Just Duncan.
389
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,451
About work.
390
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:16,072
We've been having a big debate over wrenches.
391
00:17:16,247 --> 00:17:18,372
The guy will not let it go.
392
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,831
U m...
393
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,421
So, uh...
394
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,922
- Where were we?
- Um...
395
00:17:29,095 --> 00:17:31,760
How would you feel...
396
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:35,261
about renting a movie?
397
00:17:36,808 --> 00:17:40,390
Like a--like a dirty movie?
398
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,893
Or... Click.
399
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:50,113
Adam Sandler controls time
with a magic remote, huh?
400
00:17:50,275 --> 00:17:52,361
What's going on?
401
00:17:52,537 --> 00:17:53,571
- Nothing.
- Richie...
402
00:17:53,745 --> 00:17:54,571
- Nothing.
- Richie.
403
00:17:54,746 --> 00:17:55,821
Something.
404
00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:56,571
What?
405
00:17:56,747 --> 00:17:58,373
Do you not want to do this?
406
00:17:58,535 --> 00:17:59,833
Oh, God, I-I want to.
407
00:17:59,998 --> 00:18:01,953
You have no idea
how much I want to.
408
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:02,793
So?
409
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,753
Okay, um...
410
00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:09,250
All right, b-before we do anything,
um, here's-- here's the deal.
411
00:18:09,427 --> 00:18:14,131
You're gonna need to lower your expectations.
412
00:18:16,688 --> 00:18:19,220
- Okay.
- No--
413
00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:19,800
I'm serious.
414
00:18:19,977 --> 00:18:24,022
Prepare to be wildly underwhelmed.
415
00:18:24,818 --> 00:18:26,231
It's gonna be fine.
416
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:29,272
If you think it's gonna be fine,
then you're not listening to me.
417
00:18:29,448 --> 00:18:32,772
I am going to dazzle you
with my ineptness.
418
00:18:32,948 --> 00:18:37,953
I have heard the words
"clumsy," uh, "inaccurate,"
419
00:18:38,205 --> 00:18:42,373
um, and more than once,
"Stop that."
420
00:18:42,668 --> 00:18:48,502
You're about to make love
to a man who has literally been booed.
421
00:18:50,385 --> 00:18:51,591
I don't care.
422
00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:53,092
Whatever happens, I love you.
423
00:18:53,255 --> 00:18:55,671
And I love you, but...
424
00:18:55,846 --> 00:18:59,260
Oh, this could be awful.
425
00:19:02,105 --> 00:19:06,313
You don't scare me
with your bad sex.
426
00:19:14,156 --> 00:19:15,611
Oh, yeah?
427
00:19:15,786 --> 00:19:20,991
Oh yeah, well, you better bring a magazine, missy,
'cause this could get pretty dull.
428
00:19:21,168 --> 00:19:26,873
Hey, I got a stack right there
that I'm dying to flip through.
429
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:28,160
Good.
430
00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:31,830
'Cause I'm gonna make you want to read
like you've never read before.
431
00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:32,752
Whoa.
432
00:19:32,925 --> 00:19:33,961
Bring it on.
433
00:19:34,135 --> 00:19:39,303
I can't wait for you to disappoint me
all night long.
434
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:44,681
Then let's get this train wreck started.
435
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:48,141
Okay, first of all,
Blockbuster insists that you have the penguin movie.
436
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:51,980
- I don't have the--
- I don't wanna hear about it!
437
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:54,611
More importantly,
I don't know why he's not calling you.
438
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:56,281
Maybe he's just a big liar.
439
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,653
Maybe the date didn't go
as amazing as we thought it did.
440
00:19:58,826 --> 00:20:02,412
All I know is, I cannot spend another day
staring at this phone.
441
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,030
It is turning me into a girl.
442
00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:05,241
And I don't want to be the girl.
443
00:20:05,416 --> 00:20:09,452
Well, I don't want to be the girl.
444
00:20:10,796 --> 00:20:11,792
Oh, don't make me answer it.
445
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:12,831
I don't want to seem too eager!
446
00:20:13,007 --> 00:20:15,001
Answer it!
447
00:20:15,178 --> 00:20:17,552
Hello?
448
00:20:17,927 --> 00:20:19,920
Oh, nothing much.
Just hanging out.
449
00:20:20,096 --> 00:20:22,012
How are you?
450
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:23,393
Yeah.
451
00:20:23,558 --> 00:20:25,890
Yeah, I did too.
452
00:20:26,055 --> 00:20:29,062
Dial. Kyle. Cell.
453
00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:32,733
He called!
454
00:20:35,158 --> 00:20:37,610
Morning.
455
00:20:42,615 --> 00:20:43,991
How was last night?
456
00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:45,990
Oh, let's just say...
457
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:49,120
I was not booed.
458
00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:00,922
Oh, my God.
Look what he did.
459
00:21:01,096 --> 00:21:02,013
Why are you surprised?
460
00:21:02,176 --> 00:21:06,683
He can stop time
with that remote control.
461
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,522
So, uh...
462
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:12,943
What do you say we use our remote
and, uh, pause this?
463
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,482
Are you gonna underwhelm me again?
464
00:21:16,655 --> 00:21:20,613
Baby, I'm gonna nudge your world.
465
00:21:20,663 --> 00:21:25,213
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