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1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:02,336
/If you missed The Class,
/here's what you missed.
2
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,506
Kat met a hot guy who thought
she was his blind date.
3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:06,298
Sue?
4
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,050
Sure.
5
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,469
What? You're hijacking
someone's blind date?
6
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:11,887
You can't do that.
7
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,515
/But then later,
/when Ethan met the real Sue...
8
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,892
Excuse me.
Are you Dan?
9
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,019
Yep.
10
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:23,230
/Kat's romance ended quickly.
This guy is aggressively dull.
11
00:00:23,393 --> 00:00:24,811
/While Ethan's never ended.
12
00:00:24,987 --> 00:00:26,443
I'm not going anywhere.
13
00:00:26,619 --> 00:00:30,362
Where did you come from,
Dan Slutsky?
14
00:00:30,539 --> 00:00:32,741
I'm gonna say Cincinnati?
15
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:35,491
/Meanwhile, Richie and Lina
/were getting even closer.
16
00:00:35,665 --> 00:00:38,242
So I hear
you have a girlfriend.
17
00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:40,580
I believe I do.
18
00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:42,372
What's she like?
19
00:00:42,546 --> 00:00:48,211
She's beautiful, she's sweet--
She's slipping. She's slipping!
20
00:00:48,387 --> 00:00:49,000
There we go.
21
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:51,263
/But everything's about to change.
22
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:55,383
/And that's all you need to know.
23
00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:03,853
It's 2:00 AM.
24
00:01:04,026 --> 00:01:08,811
Sorry, I didn't mean
to cut into your yelling at me time.
25
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,282
How was your boss'
stupid band thing?
26
00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:14,613
Smokey and loud.
Pretty much what I expected.
27
00:01:14,785 --> 00:01:18,570
Uh-huh.
So who's Lina Warbler?
28
00:01:21,547 --> 00:01:23,501
What?
29
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,041
I said who's Lina Warbler?
30
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:27,580
I--I don't--I don't--
31
00:01:27,757 --> 00:01:30,130
Yeah, that's good.
Sputter more.
32
00:01:30,288 --> 00:01:31,711
I mean, how big of
an idiot are you?
33
00:01:31,885 --> 00:01:34,423
Did you really think you could
get away with this behind my back?
34
00:01:34,598 --> 00:01:35,843
No.
35
00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:37,843
How--how did you find out?
36
00:01:38,016 --> 00:01:40,352
I opened your letter
from the insurance company.
37
00:01:40,516 --> 00:01:42,560
You backed over her
with your car?
38
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:45,143
You should be put down.
39
00:01:45,317 --> 00:01:48,063
Oh, oh, right. No.
40
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:51,570
Lina Warbler's just the woman
I hit with the car.
41
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:52,903
What do you mean, just?
42
00:01:53,077 --> 00:01:54,693
I mean, I didn't kill her.
I just hit her.
43
00:01:54,868 --> 00:01:57,112
Yay!
44
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:59,071
This isn't funny,
dumb ass.
45
00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:00,410
I mean,
what if she sues us?
46
00:02:00,577 --> 00:02:02,082
She's not gonna sue us.
47
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,160
I talked to her
when it happened.
48
00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:06,000
She realizes
it was an accident.
49
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:06,541
Oh, please.
50
00:02:06,718 --> 00:02:10,422
People will say anything
to get out from under an automobile.
51
00:02:10,585 --> 00:02:12,212
I promise.
It's fine.
52
00:02:12,388 --> 00:02:14,130
It better be.
53
00:02:14,307 --> 00:02:16,223
Any more secrets
you're keeping from me?
54
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,671
No.
55
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,091
Than why is your eye twitching?
56
00:02:19,268 --> 00:02:22,353
Because I'm happy.
57
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:47,080
Okay, uh, sit down,
sit down.
58
00:02:47,258 --> 00:02:47,542
All right.
59
00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:49,371
So there's this gallery downtown.
60
00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:52,291
And they're gonna have a group show,
and they're gonna let me submit a piece.
61
00:02:52,466 --> 00:02:55,253
So I need opinions.
62
00:02:55,428 --> 00:02:58,721
Dear God!
What is this?
63
00:02:58,886 --> 00:02:59,842
It's a tongue.
64
00:03:00,018 --> 00:03:02,552
It's not in a mouth.
65
00:03:02,728 --> 00:03:03,601
No.
66
00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:04,813
I've met this friend
at the morgue.
67
00:03:04,978 --> 00:03:09,521
I'm gonna do a whole series
with body parts and cadavers--
68
00:03:09,698 --> 00:03:14,021
God, look at me.
I'm like a schoolgirl.
69
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,943
Gah-ow!
70
00:03:17,118 --> 00:03:17,992
What is that?
71
00:03:18,158 --> 00:03:21,070
It's a buttock.
72
00:03:23,876 --> 00:03:24,952
Huh.
73
00:03:25,128 --> 00:03:28,913
You rarely see them
out alone.
74
00:03:29,457 --> 00:03:30,161
I'm sorry.
75
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,293
It's not that
I am not horrified.
76
00:03:32,465 --> 00:03:34,922
But I have to go.
I'll see you guys later.
77
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:36,091
Where are you off to?
78
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:39,512
I'm, uh, meeting Sue.
79
00:03:40,308 --> 00:03:44,512
Oh, good.
Another day as Dan Slutsky.
80
00:03:45,938 --> 00:03:47,061
Dan who?
81
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:47,763
Uh--
82
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:48,602
Can I tell it?
Can I tell it?
83
00:03:48,776 --> 00:03:50,932
No!
84
00:03:51,277 --> 00:03:56,822
I'm seeing this woman who kind of thinks
I'm a guy named Dan Slutsky.
85
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:57,650
Why does she think--
86
00:03:57,825 --> 00:04:00,320
Because I told her
I'm Dan Slutsky.
87
00:04:00,498 --> 00:04:02,820
She came into this bar
and she thought that Ethan was her blind date.
88
00:04:02,998 --> 00:04:05,622
And since she was,
like, incredibly hot, he said he was.
89
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:08,491
But now they've been going out a week
and he still hasn't told her the truth.
90
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,121
It's like
my new favorite show.
91
00:04:11,297 --> 00:04:13,830
Well, I'm definitely going
to tell her today.
92
00:04:14,006 --> 00:04:14,883
Yeah, he said that yesterday.
93
00:04:15,048 --> 00:04:17,673
He says that at the start
of every episode.
94
00:04:17,845 --> 00:04:19,212
I am going to.
95
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:22,471
It's just I--
I like her so much.
96
00:04:22,635 --> 00:04:27,602
And she's beautiful and amazing
and I don't want it to end.
97
00:04:27,765 --> 00:04:29,853
There's gotta be some way
to make her see past this.
98
00:04:30,028 --> 00:04:30,560
Isn't there?
99
00:04:30,725 --> 00:04:31,601
I couldn't.
100
00:04:31,776 --> 00:04:32,523
No?
101
00:04:32,688 --> 00:04:39,193
No, if I found out someone lied
to me like that, forget it... over and out!
102
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,490
Wow!
103
00:04:45,455 --> 00:04:47,073
It's pretty black and white
with you, huh?
104
00:04:47,248 --> 00:04:49,790
No lying.
105
00:04:50,086 --> 00:04:53,412
Well, I just feel like the truth
is really important.
106
00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:56,750
Sure, the truth is--
Great. Love the truth. Huge fan.
107
00:04:56,927 --> 00:05:03,051
But there have to be some cases
where's there's a little wiggle room.
108
00:05:03,476 --> 00:05:04,303
- No?
- No.
109
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:07,013
No. There ya have it.
110
00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:08,181
Better hope your girl's
not like this one.
111
00:05:08,357 --> 00:05:11,890
Otherwise,
you're screwed.
112
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:16,812
- Hello.
- Hey.
113
00:05:17,738 --> 00:05:19,610
Mmm. You smell like vanilla.
114
00:05:19,776 --> 00:05:22,400
My son threw pudding
at me this morning.
115
00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:25,950
Still sexy.
And sticky.
116
00:05:28,535 --> 00:05:32,163
It is good to see you,
Mr. Slutsky.
117
00:05:32,336 --> 00:05:35,082
Um, yeah.
About that.
118
00:05:35,256 --> 00:05:38,003
There's this thing
I kinda wanted to talk to you about.
119
00:05:38,178 --> 00:05:38,753
It's sorta crazy.
120
00:05:38,927 --> 00:05:39,750
Dan!
121
00:05:39,926 --> 00:05:42,463
Sam--oof!
122
00:05:42,638 --> 00:05:43,882
Are you okay?
123
00:05:44,058 --> 00:05:46,472
My fault for
not wearing a cup.
124
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,930
Dan, let's make
fart noises.
125
00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:52,221
We do not make fart noises.
126
00:05:52,396 --> 00:05:54,772
Later.
127
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:56,813
We just have to drop him off
at a birthday party.
128
00:05:56,985 --> 00:05:58,942
- Then we'll have
the day together. - Great.
129
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,861
We can grab some lunch
and then maybe we can talk
130
00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:02,402
about that thing
I was gonna tell ya.
131
00:06:02,575 --> 00:06:03,152
O kay.
132
00:06:03,327 --> 00:06:05,693
But we might wanna
eat at the party.
133
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:08,490
If I know this girl's dad,
the food'll be incredible.
134
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,622
Is he a chef
or something?
135
00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:12,452
Oh, I'd say
he's definitely something.
136
00:06:12,626 --> 00:06:13,292
Beep!
Beep!
137
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:17,000
Birthday veal piccata
coming through!
138
00:06:17,166 --> 00:06:19,790
At Jessica's party,
they had hot dogs.
139
00:06:19,968 --> 00:06:26,090
Oprah, honey, I know she's your friend,
but they're like cave people.
140
00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:29,090
What's the matter?
141
00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:32,143
I just got off the phone
with the Puppet People.
142
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:35,561
They took another job
because we forgot to confirm.
143
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:36,600
That was my fault.
144
00:06:36,773 --> 00:06:37,981
How could you forget
to confirm with the Puppet People?
145
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:38,853
I--I don't know.
146
00:06:39,029 --> 00:06:40,272
They were on the invitations!
147
00:06:40,449 --> 00:06:43,613
Hello? Who did the calligraphy?
148
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,441
Oh...my...God.
149
00:06:45,618 --> 00:06:47,530
It's all right.
We'll think of something.
150
00:06:47,697 --> 00:06:48,321
Don't cry.
151
00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,490
I wasn't going to.
152
00:06:49,665 --> 00:06:53,080
I was talking to myself.
153
00:06:57,915 --> 00:06:59,713
Hey, Sue.
154
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,291
Hi, Sam!
155
00:07:01,468 --> 00:07:03,131
Hi.
156
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:06,133
Go find Oprah.
157
00:07:06,307 --> 00:07:07,710
Holly,
I want you to meet--
158
00:07:07,888 --> 00:07:08,632
Ethan!
159
00:07:08,806 --> 00:07:11,513
Uh, no. Dan.
160
00:07:12,518 --> 00:07:13,641
You're not Ethan Haas?
161
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,682
Nope!
Dan Slutsky.
162
00:07:16,855 --> 00:07:17,930
Wow.
163
00:07:18,106 --> 00:07:20,731
You look so much like this guy
I went to school with.
164
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:26,360
I just saw him a weeks ago too.
He threw this awful party.
165
00:07:27,037 --> 00:07:30,703
Well, I'm sure he did his best.
Probably spent a lot of money on food.
166
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:31,701
Believe me,
he didn't.
167
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,033
I'll bet he did!
168
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:38,950
Well, I stand corrected,
guy who wasn't there.
169
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:40,620
Welcome.
Enjoy.
170
00:07:40,797 --> 00:07:43,633
Oh, thank you.
171
00:07:44,295 --> 00:07:45,751
What was that?
172
00:07:45,927 --> 00:07:49,261
I always feel bad for people
whose parties are maligned
173
00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:52,010
and they're not there
to defend themselves.
174
00:07:52,196 --> 00:07:53,302
That's a weird thing
to stand for.
175
00:07:53,476 --> 00:07:56,391
I cannot disagree.
176
00:07:56,568 --> 00:08:02,391
So since we're not doubling the top plates,
you gotta make sure that the trusses are in line with the studs.
177
00:08:02,568 --> 00:08:03,980
If you fell from here,
would you die?
178
00:08:04,155 --> 00:08:06,401
Nah.
179
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:07,572
Would I?
180
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,653
Yeah, probably.
181
00:08:13,455 --> 00:08:15,321
- Hello?
- Hey.
182
00:08:15,498 --> 00:08:18,332
Do you wanna go to that
Renaissance Fair thing this weekend?
183
00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:21,873
Sure--in fact, I have a jester's hat
I can wear.
184
00:08:22,047 --> 00:08:23,833
Really?
185
00:08:24,006 --> 00:08:28,503
Yeah, I will literally be there
with bells on.
186
00:08:28,678 --> 00:08:30,671
Oh, great.
187
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:34,221
I'll let you get back to work.
I'll talk to you later, okay?
188
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,930
Love you.
189
00:08:41,898 --> 00:08:44,903
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
190
00:08:45,065 --> 00:08:47,313
I just told Richie
I loved him.
191
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:48,521
Big step.
192
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,283
I didn't mean to.
193
00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:53,033
Then stupid step.
194
00:08:53,205 --> 00:08:55,282
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
It's too soon.
195
00:08:55,457 --> 00:08:56,530
What am I gonna do?
196
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:58,490
Look, maybe he didn't understand
what you were saying.
197
00:08:58,665 --> 00:09:02,450
You know, I mean, I could believe that nobody's ever
said those words to him before.
198
00:09:02,628 --> 00:09:06,962
Oh... I've got this sick feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
199
00:09:07,135 --> 00:09:10,380
Do you wanna see
the pit of an actual stomach?
200
00:09:10,557 --> 00:09:12,712
No!
201
00:09:13,518 --> 00:09:15,803
Okay, I'm calling him back.
Maybe I can fix this.
202
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:20,851
Okay, but this right here?
My new favorite show.
203
00:09:21,315 --> 00:09:22,102
Hello.
204
00:09:22,276 --> 00:09:24,061
Okay, forget that I said it.
I don't know why I said it.
205
00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:26,311
It's okay
that you said it.
206
00:09:26,488 --> 00:09:27,192
It is?
207
00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:30,573
Yeah, because...
Well, I, um--
208
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,533
Oh, my God.
I think he's gonna say it.
209
00:09:32,695 --> 00:09:33,860
You know, I--
210
00:09:34,035 --> 00:09:34,652
He's saying it.
211
00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:35,902
I love you too.
212
00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:38,740
He said it.
213
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:41,031
So are we okay now?
214
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,871
Oh, I'd say so.
215
00:09:44,047 --> 00:09:47,791
Okay.
I'll talk to you later.
216
00:09:48,176 --> 00:09:48,500
Love you.
217
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,212
Love you.
218
00:09:53,307 --> 00:09:54,303
You, uh--
219
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:55,672
You just tell Lina
you love her?
220
00:09:55,847 --> 00:09:56,683
Mm-hmm.
221
00:09:56,845 --> 00:09:58,093
Dude, that's huge!
222
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,683
Mm-hmm.
223
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:01,642
You okay?
224
00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:04,221
Mm-mmm!
225
00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:06,140
Hey.
226
00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:07,270
I baked you guys
some cookies.
227
00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:08,022
Oh, really?
228
00:10:08,195 --> 00:10:12,652
Yeah, it's just my little way of saying
that I don't have enough to do.
229
00:10:12,825 --> 00:10:14,532
I'll have a cookie.
Hey, Rich, you want a cookie?
230
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,071
Mm-mmm!
231
00:10:17,245 --> 00:10:18,361
Everything okay?
232
00:10:18,538 --> 00:10:21,032
Richie's freakin' out
'cause he just told Lina he loves her.
233
00:10:21,207 --> 00:10:22,872
Oh, that's so sweet.
234
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:25,663
I'm not freaking out because
I told Lina I loved her.
235
00:10:25,837 --> 00:10:29,123
I'm freaking out because I--
236
00:10:29,297 --> 00:10:29,751
What?
237
00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:36,130
I'm freaking out because I told her I loved her
before I told her I'm married.
238
00:10:36,305 --> 00:10:38,471
You're married?
239
00:10:38,637 --> 00:10:41,180
Oh, my God.
240
00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:44,681
Like, you have a wife?
241
00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:47,600
Mm-hmm.
242
00:10:47,775 --> 00:10:50,600
Like, you go home...
243
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,613
at the end of the day...
244
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,611
to a woman who's...
245
00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:57,782
who's, like, your wife?
246
00:10:57,956 --> 00:10:59,611
Right.
247
00:10:59,788 --> 00:11:01,371
- And Lina doesn't know?
- No.
248
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,741
You don't get a cookie.
249
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:09,082
That is unbelievable.
You've got two women.
250
00:11:09,256 --> 00:11:12,383
Yeah, I'm a player.
251
00:11:16,466 --> 00:11:18,511
Hey, great party.
252
00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:20,680
The kids are so excited
about the Puppet People.
253
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,013
That was a coup.
254
00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:26,560
Don't tell anyone.
They're not coming.
255
00:11:26,726 --> 00:11:29,643
Seriously?
No Puppet People?
256
00:11:29,818 --> 00:11:31,310
We forgot to confirm.
257
00:11:31,485 --> 00:11:33,403
You've gotta confirm
the Puppet People.
258
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,821
I know that.
259
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,611
The kids are gonna be
so disappointed.
260
00:11:37,788 --> 00:11:39,612
No, look, it's okay.
261
00:11:39,788 --> 00:11:42,282
If you wanna know the truth,
they're really overrated.
262
00:11:42,455 --> 00:11:43,282
That's not true.
263
00:11:43,455 --> 00:11:47,411
I know.
They bring it every time.
264
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,503
Ethan?
265
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,292
Sorry, I'm Dan.
266
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:54,172
Not...Ethan?
267
00:11:54,336 --> 00:11:56,551
Nope, still Dan.
268
00:11:56,718 --> 00:11:57,253
Ethan?
269
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,010
Oh, come on!
270
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,420
I'm sorry, it's just--
271
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,010
You look amazingly
like this guy Ethan Haas.
272
00:12:03,186 --> 00:12:05,640
Same face,
same voice.
273
00:12:05,805 --> 00:12:09,930
You've got the same flick-flick hair.
You just wanna...ooh!
274
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:14,400
This is really weird.
What's going on?
275
00:12:14,656 --> 00:12:17,230
All right.
276
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:20,741
Remember that thing
I was gonna tell you about this morning?
277
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,531
This might be
a good time for that.
278
00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:23,323
Okay.
279
00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:25,783
You know how
I'm Dan Slutsky?
280
00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:27,783
Yeah.
281
00:12:27,957 --> 00:12:30,452
I'm actually not so much.
282
00:12:30,627 --> 00:12:31,542
What?
283
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:34,672
I am Ethan Haas.
284
00:12:35,008 --> 00:12:36,173
I don't understand.
285
00:12:36,348 --> 00:12:40,461
Okay, when you came into the bar,
and you asked me if I was Dan Slutsky,
286
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:45,091
you were so beautiful,
I just-- I had to be him.
287
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:46,642
Oh, my God.
288
00:12:46,805 --> 00:12:50,143
So everything you told me
was a lie?
289
00:12:50,315 --> 00:12:51,312
Not everything!
290
00:12:51,488 --> 00:12:55,653
Are you a lawyer
fighting big tobacco?
291
00:12:55,815 --> 00:12:56,272
No.
292
00:12:56,447 --> 00:12:59,442
Did you swim
in the Olympics in Athens?
293
00:12:59,628 --> 00:13:00,942
No.
294
00:13:01,117 --> 00:13:05,362
This is the most--
I don't even know what to say.
295
00:13:05,537 --> 00:13:08,123
I am so sorry.
I have no excuse.
296
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,332
But I really like you,
and I feel like we have a real connection here.
297
00:13:12,506 --> 00:13:14,411
Please, if there's any way
we can just look past this.
298
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,581
Are you crazy?
You lied to me.
299
00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,882
You let me introduce you
to my kid.
300
00:13:20,055 --> 00:13:21,761
I totally hear
where you're coming from.
301
00:13:21,928 --> 00:13:24,421
But look at it from my side.
302
00:13:24,597 --> 00:13:27,593
What's your side?
303
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:32,852
It's pretty much the same as your side,
except you're rooting for me more.
304
00:13:33,026 --> 00:13:37,523
Whatever your name is,
you're a real jerk.
305
00:13:42,617 --> 00:13:47,162
You know, this might not be
the best time to tell you, but...
306
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:51,243
The Puppet People aren't coming.
307
00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:54,873
I just still can't believe
you're married.
308
00:13:55,047 --> 00:13:56,621
Yeah, well, imagine
how Lina's gonna take it.
309
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:59,331
I'm falling!
310
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:04,011
Dude, you're, like,
a foot off the ground.
311
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:10,802
So how long have you two
been together, you and--
312
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,270
Fern.
313
00:14:13,606 --> 00:14:16,641
You married a woman named Fern?
314
00:14:16,817 --> 00:14:18,440
Your husband's name is Yonk.
315
00:14:18,606 --> 00:14:20,902
Sure.
316
00:14:21,155 --> 00:14:27,741
We met in college, and she was my first girlfriend
so the bar was pretty low.
317
00:14:27,918 --> 00:14:30,072
We, uh, we've been married
five years.
318
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:34,793
Five wretched, miserable,
soul-killing years.
319
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,370
How could you
not tell Lina?
320
00:14:36,547 --> 00:14:38,002
I know, I should have.
321
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,463
It's just--I was so afraid
I'd lose her if I did.
322
00:14:40,637 --> 00:14:42,592
Now, that's exactly
what's gonna happen.
323
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:43,843
- You don't know.
- I do know.
324
00:14:44,005 --> 00:14:47,051
She said this morning
if anyone lies to her, it's over.
325
00:14:47,228 --> 00:14:51,683
And this isn't a little lie.
This is the big one.
326
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:57,022
Okay, well, what if instead of
telling her that you have a wife,
327
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,392
tell her that you had a wife.
328
00:14:59,568 --> 00:15:02,560
I can't kill her.
329
00:15:04,158 --> 00:15:06,993
Believe me,
I've thought about it.
330
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,453
No, no, no, no.
331
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:15,331
I'm saying, why don't you leave the wife
before you tell Lina?
332
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,832
Oh.
333
00:15:22,638 --> 00:15:25,053
Thanks.
334
00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:26,553
How's it going?
335
00:15:26,716 --> 00:15:29,970
Oh, I've been better.
336
00:15:30,808 --> 00:15:38,142
You know, I realized the last time I saw you,
you were being dumped by a girl at a party.
337
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,523
That's true.
338
00:15:40,696 --> 00:15:47,030
In fact, I can't remember
the last time I went to a party when you weren't being dumped.
339
00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:50,451
- Too soon?
- Uh-huh.
340
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,322
What are we going to do?
341
00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:55,283
People keep asking me
when the Puppet People are gonna start.
342
00:15:55,457 --> 00:15:58,831
Okay. I'll handle this.
343
00:15:59,256 --> 00:16:01,081
Everyone, could I have
your attention please?
344
00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:02,371
Kids, come on.
Sit, sit, sit.
345
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:05,671
Atenci�n. Atenci�n.
346
00:16:06,218 --> 00:16:09,801
I'm afraid the Puppet People
won't be performing today.
347
00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:11,053
Aww.
348
00:16:11,228 --> 00:16:14,970
But the good news is
we're still gonna have a puppet show.
349
00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:17,391
Yay!
350
00:16:17,856 --> 00:16:18,930
What are you doing?
351
00:16:19,105 --> 00:16:21,561
You married me for a reason.
I'm going in!
352
00:16:21,737 --> 00:16:24,690
Oh...dear...God.
353
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:28,730
Hello, everybody.
I'm Mr. Argyle.
354
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,611
I am very happy now.
355
00:16:31,787 --> 00:16:34,162
Perhaps it's time
for a little song.
356
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,532
* Today is the day we celebrate *
357
00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:40,791
* A very special girl *
358
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:44,123
* You know the one I'm speaking of *
359
00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:47,791
* It's Oprah Liza Pearl *
360
00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:52,511
* Today *
361
00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:55,142
* We're feeling gay *
362
00:16:55,307 --> 00:16:57,763
* They're gonna say hip, hip, hip, hooray *
363
00:16:57,937 --> 00:16:59,931
* For Oprah's birthday *
364
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:04,601
That sock can sing!
* Ba ba ba dop, hey! *
365
00:17:05,528 --> 00:17:07,943
Believe me, I've thought
about leaving Fern.
366
00:17:08,117 --> 00:17:10,111
There are days
that's all I think about.
367
00:17:10,286 --> 00:17:10,980
So?
368
00:17:11,157 --> 00:17:14,362
She's...
terrifying.
369
00:17:15,037 --> 00:17:18,120
The idea of actually
telling her it's over--
370
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:22,621
This may shock you,
but I'm not a very strong person.
371
00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:24,793
You know, maybe
you're stronger than you think.
372
00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:25,421
No, I--
373
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:30,003
Besides, there was never anything
to leave for... until I met Lina.
374
00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:35,180
And that was, like...
breathing for the first time.
375
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,842
Yeah, man.
Now you have a reason.
376
00:17:37,018 --> 00:17:40,852
Look, I know marriage
is--is a big deal.
377
00:17:41,015 --> 00:17:46,062
But people deserve to be
with the people they love.
378
00:17:46,696 --> 00:17:49,192
I think Richie knows
it's a little more complicated than that.
379
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,481
Is it?
380
00:17:50,656 --> 00:17:51,783
If you love two people--
381
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:52,733
I don't.
I just love one--
382
00:17:52,908 --> 00:17:57,073
If you love two people...
it is not always clear what to do.
383
00:17:57,246 --> 00:17:58,953
Well, if your heart is telling you
what to do,
384
00:17:59,128 --> 00:18:00,201
- My heart is telling me--
- Hang on a second, Rich.
385
00:18:00,375 --> 00:18:04,081
If your heart is telling you what to do,
then how can you not do it?
386
00:18:04,258 --> 00:18:04,961
I'm leaving my wife.
387
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,423
- It's not that simple.
- Yes, it is.
388
00:18:06,588 --> 00:18:09,291
Hello. Leaving my wife.
Hi, there!
389
00:18:09,468 --> 00:18:11,463
You're right,
if I leave Fern first,
390
00:18:11,637 --> 00:18:13,301
there's a chance
I might still have Lina.
391
00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,301
I've gotta do this!
I've gotta do this now.
392
00:18:15,477 --> 00:18:17,183
Are you sure this is
what you want?
393
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,473
I've never been
more sure of anything.
394
00:18:19,646 --> 00:18:23,101
Oh, God, this is really
happening, isn't it?
395
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,853
I've been dreading this moment
for six years.
396
00:18:25,026 --> 00:18:26,142
Why am I smiling?
397
00:18:26,316 --> 00:18:27,770
'Cause, man.
It's a good thing.
398
00:18:27,947 --> 00:18:29,230
Now you go tell her.
399
00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:30,021
I'm gonna do it!
400
00:18:30,195 --> 00:18:32,482
- Go!
- Good luck.
401
00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:34,943
Keys.
402
00:18:37,405 --> 00:18:39,780
I just threw something to you
and you caught it.
403
00:18:39,956 --> 00:18:43,742
I know.
Everything's changing.
404
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:56,052
Fern?
405
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:01,220
Fern?
406
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,483
Uh, it's open.
407
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,563
May I help you?
408
00:19:12,737 --> 00:19:14,322
Are you Lina Warbler?
409
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,231
Yes.
410
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,651
Hi. I'm Fern Velch.
411
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:21,072
Richard Velch's wife.
412
00:19:32,967 --> 00:19:36,381
* Because it's O-P-R-A-H-- apostrophe, S *
413
00:19:36,558 --> 00:19:40,341
* It's Oprah's birthday-ay * *
414
00:19:49,485 --> 00:19:51,600
That was amazing.
You were so good.
415
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:52,523
Really?
416
00:19:52,698 --> 00:19:53,653
Yeah, you were.
417
00:19:53,815 --> 00:19:58,281
You saved her birthday.
Your hand smells.
418
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:03,122
I'm just glad
I could help.
419
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:05,700
So how many weeks
have you been working on that?
420
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:06,702
What?
421
00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:08,253
Honey.
422
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:12,370
You had 14 different rhymes
for "Oprah."
423
00:20:12,548 --> 00:20:15,422
You were never gonna confirm
the Puppet People, were you?
424
00:20:15,597 --> 00:20:18,923
You'll never prove it.
425
00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:22,010
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426
00:20:22,060 --> 00:20:26,610
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