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1
00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:04,937
♪ I am the stone
The builder refused ♪
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,404
♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪
3
00:00:06,405 --> 00:00:07,872
♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪
4
00:00:07,873 --> 00:00:09,774
♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪
5
00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:11,376
♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪
6
00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,378
♪ So that you can know
Your left from your right ♪
7
00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:15,414
♪ I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun ♪
8
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:16,948
♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪
9
00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:18,050
♪ To call your brother sun ♪
10
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,351
♪ The story that just begun ♪
11
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,752
♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪
12
00:00:20,753 --> 00:00:21,919
♪ And I'm a remain a soldier ♪
13
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,855
♪ Till the war is won ♪
14
00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:26,491
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
15
00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:29,161
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
16
00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,796
♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪
17
00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:32,965
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪
18
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,634
My grandfather,
19
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,268
Robert Jebediah Freeman,
20
00:00:37,269 --> 00:00:40,906
after a lifetime of odd
adventures and strange mishaps,
21
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:42,841
decided to spend his last days
22
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,976
in the warm embrace
of suburbia.
23
00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:47,179
So he moved
to his perfect house
24
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,880
in his perfect neighborhood.
25
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:51,916
But he was still searching
for his perfect woman.
26
00:00:51,917 --> 00:00:55,488
For what reason,
I have no idea.
27
00:00:57,823 --> 00:01:00,826
I want candy!
28
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,427
Damn it, I hate you!
29
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:04,896
You're ruining my life, bitch!
Please, Herbert,
30
00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,965
remember our agreement.
Candy! I want candy!
31
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,733
Give me candy!
32
00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:12,637
Give me candy!
I want candy!
33
00:01:12,638 --> 00:01:15,473
I want candy and marshmallows!
34
00:01:15,474 --> 00:01:17,375
Give it to me!
35
00:01:17,376 --> 00:01:18,843
Give it to me!
Herbert- Oh!
36
00:01:18,844 --> 00:01:19,877
And I want pasta!
37
00:01:19,878 --> 00:01:22,747
Hm, he sure looks
like a handful.
38
00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:23,849
When he gets like this,
39
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,284
I just don't know how
to make him stop.
40
00:01:26,285 --> 00:01:27,686
I want candy
and marshmallows!
41
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,354
Have you ever tried
beatin' his ass?
42
00:01:32,858 --> 00:01:34,293
What's with the belt?
43
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,201
The nerve of you...
44
00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:44,436
In front of these people...
45
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:47,004
You must have lost
your goddamn mind!
46
00:01:47,005 --> 00:01:49,041
Mom, stop!
47
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,978
Not many men would stop
to help a woman in need.
48
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,550
Well, uh-
49
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,553
I guess I just hate to see
a child go unbeaten.
50
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:05,224
I'm Cristal,
like the champagne.
51
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,692
I'm Granddad.
52
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,662
Hello, cutie.
53
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:13,232
Yeah...
54
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,700
I'd rather not.
55
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,870
My name's Cristal,
like the champagne.
56
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,405
Well, that sounds
like a stripper name.
57
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:23,242
Cristal, like the champagne,
might you be a stripper?
58
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:27,246
And just what do you know
about strippers, little man?
59
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:30,682
Not much, but I do know they're
usually named after liquor.
60
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,589
I just love grocery stores
in rich neighborhoods.
61
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,425
Much better stuff.
62
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:45,731
Check out this special
French whipped cream.
63
00:02:46,899 --> 00:02:48,333
Mm.
64
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,668
Mm.
Mm.
65
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,738
Mm-hm.
Mm.
66
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,072
It's edible.
67
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,941
Whipped cream, teddy bear...
68
00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,579
Mm, mm, mm.
69
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,082
Somebody's busy.
70
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,785
One hundred fifty-three dollars
and 12 cents is your total.
71
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,320
Will this be cash or charge?
72
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,026
You're such a gentleman.
73
00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:17,129
You didn't have to carry
all my bags.
74
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:21,600
It's my pleasure, Cristal,
like the champagne.
75
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,969
Well, see you around.
76
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,343
I don't...
77
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,114
I mean, I don't know if...
78
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,083
Would you like a date?
79
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:41,453
It just so happen I have coupons
for the Red Lobster, cutie pie.
80
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:45,858
Um... okay.
81
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,733
You do realize that
light-skinned ho was a ho,
82
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,167
right, Granddad?
83
00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,002
Don't cuss, boy.
Now, watch your mouth.
84
00:03:58,003 --> 00:03:59,471
I didn't cuss.
I said ho.
85
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,840
Don't think because I'm driving,
I can't come back there.
86
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,642
I don't see
what the big deal is,
87
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,777
just sayin' "ho. "
88
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,479
Ow! You smackin' me!
Granddad, stop.
89
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,914
Didn't I tell you to watch your mouth?
90
00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:11,149
Granddad!
91
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:14,653
Riley, stop,
or we are going to die!
92
00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,960
Now, I bet you won't
say it again.
93
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:24,363
Ho.
94
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,130
Oh, I got your ho!
Watch the road.
95
00:04:26,131 --> 00:04:27,767
Watch the road, Granddad!
96
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,303
Granddad, have you asked yourself
97
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,137
why a 20-year-old girl
would want to go out
98
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,373
with a man your age?
99
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:37,542
Because I laid my game
down quite flat.
100
00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:38,777
Game?
101
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,912
What you know
about the game, Granddad?
102
00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:42,080
I know the game.
103
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:43,415
Takin' women out to eat?
104
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,883
Givin' 'em free meals?
What part of the game is that?
105
00:04:45,884 --> 00:04:49,388
You takin' her to Red Lobster
with the cheddar biscuits.
106
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,222
The fam ain't eatin'
cheddar biscuits,
107
00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:54,058
but this random broad
is eatin' cheddar biscuits.
108
00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:56,828
I know the game.
Your granddaddy knows the game.
109
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,330
Game recognize game,
Granddad.
110
00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:03,267
I recognize game.
Your granddaddy recognize game.
111
00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:04,902
Game recognize game,
112
00:05:04,903 --> 00:05:08,140
and you lookin'
kinda unfamiliar right now.
113
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,544
I- I can't- Where's Granddad?
Can I help you, sir?
114
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,648
I ain't got time to mess
around with y'all.
115
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,283
I got a date.
Get out the way.
116
00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:22,019
Don't do it, Granddad!
117
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,454
Don't feed her!
118
00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:24,756
Come on, now, stop.
119
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,725
Get off my leg.
Don't feed her.
120
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,594
Don't try to pull me back.
The cheddar biscuits!
121
00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:32,064
What the hell? Get off me,
boy. What's wrong with you?
122
00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:34,965
Mm.
123
00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:36,635
Oh, God.
124
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,370
Mm, mm.
125
00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:42,874
These cheddar biscuits
are so good,
126
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,609
they just melt in your mouth.
127
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,278
Thank you for the meal.
128
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,046
It was very romantic,
129
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:50,449
like Sex and the City
or somethin'.
130
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,885
Wow. I have never seen
a woman eat like that.
131
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:54,953
Or a man, actually.
132
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,090
You should bring some home
for the boys.
133
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,459
I don't know. If you feed 'em,
they'll never leave.
134
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,394
Oh, stop.
They're so cute.
135
00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:05,463
You must love
having them around.
136
00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:07,799
Well, not really, but...
137
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:11,236
You should let me
baby-sit sometimes.
138
00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:13,938
Doggy bag?
139
00:06:13,939 --> 00:06:16,574
A doggy bag is 90 bucks,
a tea bag is 50,
140
00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:18,477
but I'll have to ask you
to excuse me right now.
141
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:21,647
See, I'm kind of,
you know, on a real date.
142
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,852
You know, now that I think about it,
143
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,454
I don't ever remember
seein' Granddad with a woman.
144
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,022
There was a time,
when I was three,
145
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:32,156
when I thought he was gay,
146
00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:34,292
but now, I think it's
just bad luck.
147
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,995
Well, I don't see what the big
deal is with ho's, anyway.
148
00:06:37,996 --> 00:06:41,366
Riley, all women
are not ho's.
149
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,135
We're talkin' 20,
25 percent, tops.
150
00:06:44,136 --> 00:06:46,304
Okay, but if they not
all ho's,
151
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:49,574
then why I got to pay
to take 'em out to eat, then?
152
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,310
I mean, I'm payin'.
That's payment.
153
00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:55,446
Uh, I don't know.
'Cause that's just what you do.
154
00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:57,549
You meet a girl,
you take her out to dinner,
155
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,117
but you're not payin' the girl.
156
00:07:00,118 --> 00:07:02,153
You're payin' the restaurant.
157
00:07:02,154 --> 00:07:05,323
But I'm payin',
which makes her a ho.
158
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:06,991
Why don't I just give her
the money.
159
00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,527
I was gonna spend on dinner
160
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,963
and that ho can go
grocery shoppin'.
161
00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,666
And what do you do again?
162
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,303
I'm in, uh- Sales.
163
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,206
You could call it sales.
164
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,375
I don't really like
to talk about work.
165
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,544
I'm not really fulfilled
at my job.
166
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,745
Why not?
167
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,146
Well, the hours
are pretty long,
168
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,615
the boss is a real jerk,
and the clients...
169
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,717
Ugh, don't get me
started on the clients.
170
00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,785
Oh, damn.
So why do you do it?
171
00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:37,187
Mm, basically I'm in
a transitional period.
172
00:07:37,188 --> 00:07:39,056
Like last year,
173
00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:40,725
people said
I should be a model,
174
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,660
but you gotta
go get the pictures taken
175
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:43,928
and do that whole thing.
176
00:07:43,929 --> 00:07:45,263
Seemed like a lot of work.
177
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:47,065
Yeah, taking pictures
can be tough.
178
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,933
And then I wanted
to be a chef,
179
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:51,570
but can you believe they want
you to go to school for that?
180
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:53,938
I wish I could find a man,
181
00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:56,875
who could swoop in
like a superhero,
182
00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:01,112
and save me from,
you know, work.
183
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:04,048
Kind of like
a Captain Save-A-Me.
184
00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:06,784
Do you know
where I can buy a cape?
185
00:08:06,785 --> 00:08:07,885
Ooh.
Damn.
186
00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:09,722
Whoa.
Wow.
187
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,457
That's how it starts,
you know.
188
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,493
Takin' bitches out to eat,
189
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,561
meals and whatnot.
190
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,996
Next thing you know,
191
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,164
you wake up
in a rest haven for ho's.
192
00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:23,634
A sanctuary for scandalous
skeezers and stunts.
193
00:08:23,635 --> 00:08:26,036
You're jumpin' to conclusions.
It's just a date.
194
00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:27,571
What if he marries her?
195
00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:30,341
What if we end up
with a ho for a grandma?
196
00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:32,043
Riley, shut your dumb ass up.
197
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,878
What if we have a ho
for a grandma,
198
00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:35,880
and she comes to school
on career day?
199
00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:38,316
Ooh, what if they have kids?
200
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:40,752
We'd have a brother
or sister that's half ho.
201
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,287
Riley!
202
00:08:44,756 --> 00:08:47,892
This is your home? It's beautiful.
203
00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:49,928
Hey, boys.
204
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:53,664
I love this place.
I never want to leave.
205
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,400
Is there anything to eat?
206
00:08:58,103 --> 00:09:00,137
I didn't want to believe Riley.
207
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:03,608
I wanted Granddad to have
finally found love in his life.
208
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,377
But I've never been one
to ignore the obvious.
209
00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:09,313
Granddad was tryin' to turn
a ho into a housewife.
210
00:09:09,314 --> 00:09:10,581
Come on, Granddad.
211
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,082
What you talkin' about?
212
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,652
Hey, you just wait a minute.
Uh-huh.
213
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,190
♪ She did me wrong ♪
214
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,858
♪ Now, I ain't sayin'
She a gold digger ♪
215
00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,359
♪ When I'm in need ♪
216
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,261
♪ But she ain't messin'
With no broke niggaz ♪
217
00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:25,797
♪ She did me wrong ♪
218
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,465
♪ Now, I ain't sayin'
She a gold digger ♪
219
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,333
♪ But she ain't messin'
With no broke niggaz ♪
220
00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:30,702
♪ When I'm in need ♪
221
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,170
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead, get down ♪
222
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:35,206
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead, get down ♪
223
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,075
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead, get down ♪
224
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,111
♪ Get down, girl
Go ahead ♪
225
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,746
♪ Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon ♪
226
00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:45,216
♪ With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under her underarm ♪
227
00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:46,884
♪ She said
I can tell you rock ♪
228
00:09:46,885 --> 00:09:49,687
♪ I can tell by your charm
Far as girls you got a flock ♪
229
00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:51,656
♪ I can tell by your charm
And your arm ♪
230
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,724
♪ But I'm looking for the one
Have you seen her♪ ♪
231
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:56,794
♪ My psychic told me
She have a ass like Serena ♪
232
00:09:56,795 --> 00:09:59,130
♪ Trina, Jennifer Lopez
Four kids ♪
233
00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:02,166
♪ And I gotta take all
They badass to showbiz ♪
234
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:04,869
♪ Okay, get your kids but
Then they got they friends ♪
235
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,105
♪ I pulled up in the Benz
They all got up in ♪
236
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,174
♪ We all went to Den
And then I had to pay ♪
237
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,843
♪ If you f@#$% with this girl
Then you better be paid ♪
238
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,015
What's up now?
239
00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,616
Why you keep doin'
the same move?
240
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,952
Where your game at?
Where your game at?
241
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,454
My X button ain't working.
242
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:24,522
Whatever, nigga.
243
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:27,025
Hey, look, I'm pressin' it.
244
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,061
You see me pressin' it.
You cheatin'.
245
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,963
Bitch, your game is garbage.
246
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,499
I'm Cristal, bitch.
Who's next?
247
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,635
Fake-ass Mariah Carey!
248
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:42,207
That's how nasty
my game is, son.
249
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,609
I send niggas runnin' away.
250
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,610
What?
251
00:10:47,846 --> 00:10:49,413
Ah.
252
00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:51,916
A full day's supply
of vitamin C.
253
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,233
Granddad, that woman
has got to go.
254
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:12,903
Miss Cristal
is my beautiful baby-boo,
255
00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:15,240
and you will
show her some respect.
256
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,542
Granddad, we don't know anything
about Miss Cristal.
257
00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:20,945
I mean, we know she spends
all your money.
258
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,880
We know she eats more
than a black hole.
259
00:11:22,881 --> 00:11:26,050
We know she cheat
at PlayStation!
260
00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:28,920
But where does she live?
What does she do for a living?
261
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:30,387
She's in sales.
262
00:11:30,388 --> 00:11:31,589
Pfft. Ho sales.
263
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,590
What?
264
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,692
Granddad, does she duck
under the table
265
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,529
every time a dude
in a purple suit walks in?
266
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,072
Uh, a lot of people do that.
267
00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:52,310
Can she run really, really,
really fast in high heels?
268
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:55,813
I don't know.
Average speed, I guess.
269
00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:57,782
Race you to the car.
270
00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,717
Okay.
271
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,155
Hm.
272
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:08,660
Maybe, uh...
Little... above average.
273
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,462
Does she keep askin'
if you're a cop?
274
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,662
No.
275
00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:13,565
You know, you have
to tell me if you're a cop,
276
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,566
or it's entrapment.
277
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,800
Mm.
278
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,003
My cute boys.
279
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:23,474
You boys don't know Cristal
like I do.
280
00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:25,042
She's a wonderful woman.
281
00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:27,645
She's in my heart.
She's in my soul.
282
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,780
I just want to be
her everything.
283
00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:32,382
And for your information,
children,
284
00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:34,986
I had relations
with Cristal last night.
285
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:37,688
Ew, come on, Granddad!
Oh, God, please!
286
00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,456
Why would you share that?
That's nasty.
287
00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,659
How am I supposed to have
nice dreams tonight, man?
288
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,427
And she didn't charge me
a dime.
289
00:12:43,428 --> 00:12:44,661
Mm.
290
00:12:44,662 --> 00:12:46,097
You ready to go
shoppin' again?
291
00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,132
You betcha.
292
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,151
Hey, Huey.
293
00:13:07,152 --> 00:13:09,988
Okay, Cristal,
I think we need to talk.
294
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:13,724
Before you start,
295
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,627
I just want to tell you
how much fun it's been
296
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,861
hangin' out with you guys.
297
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,930
Think of me as the big sister
you always wanted.
298
00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:22,933
Don't take this
the wrong way, but...
299
00:13:22,934 --> 00:13:24,736
I need you to get
the hell up outta here.
300
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,671
Any particular reason?
301
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,540
You're kind of a lazy ho?
302
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,607
Yeah, I can see that.
303
00:13:30,608 --> 00:13:33,211
I don't know why
my granddad can't see it.
304
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:36,948
To be honest, me either.
It's so obvious.
305
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,049
But it's okay because, see,
306
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,584
I'm in this transitional
period...
307
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,254
Ah, ah, ah, I don't care.
You gotta go.
308
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:50,395
I can't do that.
309
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,562
I'm sorry?
310
00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:53,264
You guys have the life.
311
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,066
And I want the life too.
312
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:58,536
Yeah, but it's our life.
We're his family.
313
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:01,906
Oh, so now, we get
to what this is really about.
314
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:05,109
I'm not one of y'all.
I'm not in the family.
315
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,579
I don't carry his genes,
so I have to go?
316
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:11,015
Uh, yeah.
Plus, you're a lazy ho.
317
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,085
Ugh, ho is a strong term.
318
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:18,355
Right now, I'm somewhere between
anatomical sales associate
319
00:14:18,356 --> 00:14:19,924
and high-maintenance girlfriend.
320
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,859
Can't you be positive
about my growth?
321
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:25,530
Cristal, every part of you
bein' here is unacceptable.
322
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,232
Do you realize
I'm doin' prostitute laundry?
323
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,503
Do you have any idea
how disgusting that is?
324
00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:36,241
Look, this is an adjustment
for everyone,
325
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,041
but it's what
your grandfather wants.
326
00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:39,477
You can't get rid of me.
327
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:42,914
I can do things to persuade
your granddad that you can't do.
328
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,548
Like what?
329
00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:46,518
Never mind,
I don't really wanna know.
330
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,391
Bye, Granddaddy.
331
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,892
I'll be back in a few.
332
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,327
Cristal was right.
333
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,563
I was going about this
the wrong way.
334
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,131
Granddad needed to see
the truth for himself.
335
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:04,768
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
336
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:07,138
♪ All right, we on a mission
With SpyCam vision ♪
337
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,839
♪ Yeah, it's wrong
But I'd rather ♪
338
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,374
♪ Beg forgiveness
Than permission ♪
339
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,877
♪ Something is off
Who's this mystery lady♪ ♪
340
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,645
♪ She's crazy
And something in her eyes ♪
341
00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:17,982
♪ Looks shady
But maybe after this exposé ♪
342
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,018
♪ A blind man could see her
Comin' from a mile away ♪
343
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,154
♪ Let me catch her in the act
See where her head is at ♪
344
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,323
♪ Before the next sucker
For love falls in her trap ♪
345
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,892
♪ So I'm wearin' my Nike's
With a Nikon ♪
346
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:31,062
♪ Doin' some twilight
Recon and econ ♪
347
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:34,866
♪ Can't stop the paparazzi
Oh, my God, with these Kodaks ♪
348
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,168
♪ Tryin' to stop her
From gettin' the bozak ♪
349
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,270
♪ From gettin' the bozak
From gettin' the bozak ♪
350
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,672
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
351
00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:44,041
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
352
00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:46,610
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
353
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,779
♪ I know she no good
But she good to me ♪
354
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,215
♪ Click ♪
355
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:16,574
Cutie pie, what is this?
356
00:16:17,975 --> 00:16:19,643
That's not me.
357
00:16:19,644 --> 00:16:23,615
I can't believe you would
digitally alter pictures of me.
358
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:26,417
Boy, that ain't nothin'
but Photoshop.
359
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,252
Get that outta here.
360
00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:33,224
Why don't they like me?
361
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,926
I try...
362
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:38,295
so hard with them.
363
00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:41,999
Aw, there, there.
364
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,735
Haven't I done enough
for you two?
365
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,337
Y'all don't know
what it's like to be old.
366
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,872
To know you don't have
many days left.
367
00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:50,908
Cristal makes me happy.
368
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:53,478
Why would you want
to take that away from me?
369
00:16:58,383 --> 00:16:59,917
It's a nigga in a purple suit.
370
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,424
Who are you?
371
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:11,962
My name is
A Pimp Named Slickback,
372
00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:14,899
and I believe I may have
misplaced some merchandise
373
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,434
at this residence.
374
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,603
There she is.
375
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,370
Bitch,
I hope you got the monies
376
00:17:20,371 --> 00:17:23,307
to cover this little vacation
you been takin'.
377
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:24,808
Now, hold up, Slickback.
378
00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:27,478
No, that's
A Pimp Named Slickback.
379
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,246
That's what I said:
Slickback.
380
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:32,483
No, no, it's
A Pimp Named Slickback.
381
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:33,985
Like A Tribe Called Quest.
382
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,653
You say the whole thing.
A Pimp Named Slickback.
383
00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:39,156
Uh, can we call you
"Slickback" for short?
384
00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:42,560
No, nigga.
I'm A Pimp Named Slickback!
385
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,961
Cristal, who is this person?
386
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:46,063
Nigga, are you deaf?
387
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:50,601
I'm A Pimp Named Slickback.
Say it with me, now.
388
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,069
He's my pimp.
389
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,272
Y-y-y-your pimp?
390
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,772
So you really are a- A...
391
00:17:55,773 --> 00:17:57,642
Yes, I'm a ho.
Yes, she's a ho.
392
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,876
Come on, bitch. Now.
393
00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:03,080
A Pimp Named Slickback,
could I please have a minute?
394
00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:05,048
A minute?
395
00:18:05,049 --> 00:18:07,618
Let us pray "The Pimp's Prayer. "
396
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:10,621
Lord, please pray
for the soul of this bitch,
397
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:14,525
and guide my pimp hand
and make it strong, Lord,
398
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:18,830
so that she might learn
a ho's place. Amen.
399
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,698
Amen. Yeah!
400
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,475
You ain't gonna hit
no woman in my house.
401
00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:35,046
What woman, sir?
This here's a ho.
402
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,014
Not in this house, she's not.
403
00:18:39,217 --> 00:18:41,720
Why don't you
just wait outside.
404
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,290
Damn, Indiana Jenkins.
405
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,191
I didn't know
we was still whoopin' niggas.
406
00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:49,526
Fine.
407
00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:52,529
Bitch, you got 45 seconds,
and I'm leavin'.
408
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:55,867
Forty-four, 43,
409
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,935
42...
410
00:18:57,936 --> 00:18:59,636
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
411
00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:01,639
I mean, at first,
I thought you knew.
412
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,140
How would I?
413
00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:05,976
I mean, I don't see how
you couldn't have known.
414
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,911
Well, easy mistake, I guess.
415
00:19:07,912 --> 00:19:09,847
I mean, there were so many
obvious signs...
416
00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:11,749
All right, all right,
I got the point.
417
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,318
Cristal, I don't care
what you've done in the past,
418
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,921
as long as you're ready
to start fresh.
419
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,722
Think about it.
Forty-four...
420
00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:20,491
You can stay here,
421
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,294
maybe get a job,
go back to school.
422
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:24,528
We can make it work.
423
00:19:24,529 --> 00:19:26,564
I don't know, Robert.
424
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,767
I'm not really cut out
for school and jobs.
425
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:33,704
But you'll be able
to stay here with us.
426
00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:36,941
Yeah, you're right.
That sounds nice.
427
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,244
Let me just go and get rid
of A Pimp Named Slickback,
428
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,280
then maybe I'll get
some applications.
429
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:47,485
Eleven, 10, nine...
430
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,788
You're coming back, right?
431
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,722
Of course.
432
00:19:52,723 --> 00:19:55,459
Time's up, bitch.
I am leavin'.
433
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,495
Thanks for trying to save me.
434
00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:06,003
No, Daddy! Wait, wait!
435
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:10,141
Wait, wait.
436
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,311
She'll be back.
437
00:20:18,082 --> 00:20:19,517
I guess, deep down,
438
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,085
all grownups want to find
that perfect person
439
00:20:22,086 --> 00:20:24,388
that'll guarantee that they'll
never be lonely again.
440
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:28,226
I still believe Granddad'll
find his someday.
441
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:37,001
Did she come back?
442
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,303
Don't blow out the candle.
She'll think nobody's home.
443
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,839
It's all right, Granddad.
444
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,707
Maybe she'll be back tomorrow.
445
00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:48,946
One thing I learned though...
446
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,614
Come back!
447
00:20:50,615 --> 00:20:52,149
Wait!
448
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,488
Run, bitch, run!
449
00:20:58,489 --> 00:21:00,958
She sure can run
in those heels.
450
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,293
I can't go to school!
451
00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:05,863
I can't get no real job!
452
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,402
Feel the burn.
453
00:21:10,452 --> 00:21:15,002
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