All language subtitles for Scrubs s09e07 Our White Coats.eng

Dr. Reid, I know yoga is
supposed to be good

For pregnant women,
but are you sure this is okay?

It looks like that baby
could squirt out any second.

Lucy, I'm fine.

Beside I would never
give birth under a tree.

Although j.D. And I did
conceive this baby under one.

It was a christmas tree--
not in our house.

It was still on the lot.

We made a bunch of christians unmfortable that day.
I once got felt up in a pumpkin patch.

Don't you just love the holidays?
It's so nice having someone to talk to.

I feel like I can't go
to the other med students.

It's gotten so cutthroat.

People will do anything
to get ahead.

(typing on keyboard)

"lost" got canceled, and they're
never gonna air the finale?

So many questions!
Hey, good luck on the test, bro.

(lucy) even drew's been acting
like a gunner recently.

Drew, can I borrow
your histology notes?

Roger, no. Nothing personal.
I just don't want

To help you half-ass your way
through med school

And keep you
from yr true destiny,

Which is to become
the second-best dentist

At a run-down strip mall.
You get it.

I was a gunner for a while
when I was in med school.

Once I set my roommate lauren's
books on fire

So she couldn't study.
Turns out I'd loaned her mine,

So I actually had to buy a whole
new set which she then stole.

Still, in the end, I won
because she got hit by a truck.

I mean, she didn't die,

But she's not smart enough to be a doctor anymore.
Is she happy?

Oh, she's very happy.
Good.

Now to recap, what is
the number one attribute

All med students share
with this skeleton?

Ooh.
Yes?

The hollow area of nothingness
inside the skull?

Exactly. Now it is time
for a bong announcement

About a pointless tradition
brought to you

By an empty figurehead
with a failing liver

And an overactive libido...
Mm!

Thank you, perry,
you anger-filled muscle slut.

I miss... This.

Yeah, me, too. It kills me
that we're friends now.

All right, as you know,

Friday is the annual
white coat ceremony.

In front of your family
and friends,

You will receive
your lab coats--

A symbol of your entr?e
into the world of medicine.

These doctors' coats--

Murderers' coats, bob--
because they are all murderers.

Anywho, the faculty will
be choosing a keynote speaker

To represent
the entire first year class.

And as part
of this meaningless charade,

Winston university requires
that each of you sit with me,

The chief of medicine,

For an irrelevant preceremony interview.
A quick sidebar, perry.

(lowers voice)
can I do the interview

With that little number
in the second row?

She said I reminded her
of her grandpa,

And I think I could use that
to at least get her top off.

You're a hell of an educor,
of her g bob.A,

I do it for them.

So you, uh, are you ready
for your interview?

So ready. I can answer
any questions about our classes,

About the hospital--I even
took the time to memorize

Personal facts about
each of my professors.

So bring it.

Well, there's really
only one question.

Why do you wantto be a doctor?

You've never been to maine,

And you were college roommates
with michael bolton.

Yes, and the latter
fuels most of my anger.

I'd like you to come back
with a better answer,

And if you find you can't
come up with a better answer,

Then please know I'm going to
make it my personal mission

To drum you out of this med school.
But you said this was just a meaningless charade.

Not for you. Get out.

(whispers)
stupid michael bolton.

Hey, buddy.
Not your buddy.

Whatevs, bro.
Also not your bro.

Mmm. Once again,
it's you versus me--

Smarts versus nepotism
for the keynote speaker.

Let the battle begin.

There's no battle.
This is something I want,

So I'm gonna crush you.
Yeah, well, good luck, 'cause I got skills.

Check it.

Swish.

Hey, drew.
You know how we get hot

Over gross and disgusting things?
Yes, and hello, dr. Reid, who I barely know.

'sup, freak?
Hi.

Anyway, check it out.

Mr. Warshal passed his kidney stone.
Oh, that's hot.

F.Y.I., that's like passing
a bowling ball through a straw.

They say it's actually
a lot like giving birth.

Super pumped, by the way.
Super pumped.

So I'm taking you
to dinner tonight.

Did you bring anything less bloody tohange into?
Why?

I don't know.
It's a nice place.

It wouldn't kill you
to dress up once in a while.

Pretty girl.
You're a pretty girl.

I am a pretty girl.

Okay, guys.
So nine years ago,

Joseph was my first
appendectomy patient.

Since then,
some scar tissue has formed,

So we're gonna
clear that right up.

Joseph, my old friend,
we'll take care of you.Med,

But first,
you gotta give me what need.

Bonjour, dr. Turk.
?a va bien?

Ha ha!
Brother speaks french.

That's a romance language,
y'all!

Anyway, it says here
that we're delaying surgery

Due to topical irritation
near the incision site.

If you guys will excuse me
for a second, that'd be great.

Dude's a goner.
I see it in his eyes.

He's haitian.
It's a poisonwood berry burn.

How do you know?
Trust me, I know.

Boy george!

If you're right, you could seal
the deal for keynote speaker.

Mm. Too little, too late.

My fam just donated
another m.R.I. Thingy.

Joseph, we're gonna
solve this puzzle,

And in thanks, you'll say...

Merci beaucoup.

Merci beaucoup! (laughs)

Incredible.
Uh, dr. Turk?

Yes?
I think I know what's wrong.

It's a reaction to the acidic
black poisonwood berry.

They're common on joseph's
home island of haiti-- home island of haiti.

Damn, I was just going
to say that.

Keep it up, drew. Catches like
this could save someone's life.

Dr. Cox? I know why
I want to be a doctor.

I want to use my experience
to make the kind of catches

That save lives, To give people
a chance to live--

Hold that thought.

Time of death-- 4:23 p..

(lucy) oh.

I am very, uh...

His middle name is ulysses.

'sup, holmes?
Don't call me "holmes."

Actually, I like "holmes."
I'll allow it.

What are you doing?
Oh, just surfing the web,

Watching all
the white coat speeches,

Cherry-picking the best parts for mine.
Solid plan.

Hey, drew.

Turns out you were right about
the haitian berry reaction.

I guess your diagnosis
wasn't rash after all.

See, j.D.? I told you
they wouldn't laugh.

Genius, man.

You lalow at first, then
the white coat thing comes up,

And boom!
You turn into a gunner.

Wh--I'm not a gunner.

(scoffs) please.
Always got the right answer,

Being all helpful with
that island berry dude.

Dude,
we are exactly the same.

We...

Are not the same.

You're a selfish, petty child

Who would screw over
anybody to get ahead.

Like you did with roger?

The second-best dentist
at a run-down strip mall.

You get it.

I followed him.
He called his folks crying.

It was awesome.

It's like looking
in a mirror, holmes.

(grunts)

Ahem.

Dr. Cox?

(grunts)

I've done some soul-searching,
and I have a new answer.

T me prep for
the verbal brilliance

That is surely headed
my way.

Ha. Proceed.

I want to become a doctor

So I can help people
who can't help themselves.

Lame.
When my grandmother was ill--

Boo!
See, dr. Quinn was a medicine woman--

Stop. Now this is when I would
normally launch into a rant.

But I've already told you
what the consequences are

If you don't come up
with an acceptable answer

Prior to the ceremony.

Right now you've got
four strikes on you.

And even in the adjusted
lucy bennett 5-strike system

That I recently established
to accommodate

All major underachievers--
go ahead and take a second

And be happy that something
was named after you--

Ya still need to ce up
with something better.

One more pathetic,
clich?d answer and you're gone.

That was kind of a rant.

Hey, why did you guys
want to become doctors?

Oh, actually,
I didn't want to be a doctor.

I wanted to be a gymnast.
But I was chesty for my age,

And I had no balce
because when I was 9,

My cousin jammed a piece
of uncooked pasta in my ear.

So the first time I went
on the balance beam,

I fell off and broke
my bajingo bone.

So really I became a doctor
because my parents made me.

How about you, dr. Mahoney?

I like scabs.
(mouths word)

Hey, drew,
want to come over tonight

And watch one
of those survival shows

And root forhe guy to die?
Tonight's not a good night, denise.

(elevator bell dings)

Hey, work buddy.
Hey.

You have a sec?

Yeah.
What do you want to do?

You want to play
a quick "hide the saltine"?

Maybe "giant black doctor"?

Damn, those never sounded dirty with j.D.
Yes, they did.

Oh.
Actually, I was hoping I could get a lile advice.

(imitating woman)
tell mama yo' problems, baby. I'm having relationship issues

(normal voice) I know...
Just what to do.

Great. I'm out.

Okay, so he made a comment
about wanting you to look nice,

And then you blew him off and mocked him.
Yeah, called him a girl.

Oh, fantastic. Okay.

Uh, does drew ever do
anything nice for you?.

And do you ever doanything for him?
Oh, no. Who wants to travel down that road?

Denise, like it or not,
you're in a relationship.

Sometimes you have to do things you
don't want to do,

Like dressing nice
or, in my case,

Going to the zoo twice a month.
I still don't know why j.D.

Is so obsessed
with those damn penguins.

It's because they look
like little formal people.

They're--they'r. We like tohink
turk, if you're out, then stay out.

Fine!
So to make drew happy,

I have to start wearing
tutus and prom dresses?

That would look adorable,
but no.

Just throw on something sexy
once in a while, you know?

Show him you care.

(high-pitched british accent)
anyone fancy a swim?

(laughs) what?
That's how they sound.

(laughing) that is
the way they sound.

Where are you going?

Hey, cole, you know
how when we make love,

I can't look into your eyes
because they're so empty

And soulless, so I just
cover them with my hands?

Uh, yeah, it's cool.
I can see through your fingers.

Well, I can get past that

If you'll be real
with me just once.

Why do you want to be a doctor?
Why the hell not?

Now that's a good answer.
How could that be a good answer?

Because he meant it.

What's up, chiefs?

(imitates explosion)
I hope the school has insurance,

'cause my keynote speech

Is gonna blow the roof off this mother!
You, son, are a very odd little squid.

(laughs)
oh, hey, wait. I want to talk to you.

Your academic record is impeccable,

And dr. Turk told me about your catch

With the poisonwood berry burn.

You are our choice as keynote speaker

For the white coat ceremony.
Oh! Congratulations.

It's tantamount to getting
half off on a cup of soup.

Who knows why we do
the things we do?

Sometimes we're just trying
to make someone else happy.

So you think that outfit is sexy?
Yeah.

'cause I'm free-boobin' it.

Other times we leave people
searching for explanations.

I-I don't want to be
the keynote speaker.

But thanks.

Well, that's disappointing.

Hmm. I was gonna say,
"who cares?"

But in our weakest moments,
it's all about jealousy.

Hey, dr. Turk, I need to
show you something on the web.

Is it a cat doing something
a human would do?

'cause if it is, I'm in.
Mm, something with drew.

And a cat?
No. Just look. This is from ten years ago, dude.

(man) that dream
is finally realized,

And as doctors... (grunts)

(microphone feedback whines)
this ceremony is a joke, okay?

I'm better than all you fools,
and you guys, too--hey!

I have something to say!

I don't need to be
keynote speaker! Okay?

You don't deserve
these coats!

You don't deserve
these coats, okay?

You better rognize!

Have you showed this
to anybody?

(lucy)
still, nothing's as painful

As hiding from the past.

Hey, drew! "you better recognize"?
It's something people said in the '90s.

Cool people?

No.

(woman) recognize!

(all) recognize!

Yes, hello.

It's me.

(under breath)
how could this be any worse?

(crying) scientists
taught horses to talk,

And it turns out because we've
ridden them all these years,

They don't like humans!

(sobbing)

Ohh. I don't even want
to think about it.

What the hell's wrong
with cole?

Drew.
Doctors are much more than just physicians.

They can be mentors...
Come with me.

Disciplinarians...
Come with me!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Even fashion advisors.

Come with me.

I'm with a patient.

(scoffs)
dementia? Please.

Don't bring that weak sauce
in here.

He'll never know you're gone.
Fine. I'll just take my jacket off,

Put it over the I.V. Stand,

And he'll probably think
it's still me. Sweet.

Let's see what we have. Mm.

Oh, you definitely need
my blue eyes for this one

And my pregnancy boobs
for this one.

Honestly, if I could give up
five years of my life

To keep these bad boys,
I would, you know,

As long as I had a guarantee
that I'd live until,

Like, my 80s.
Yeah, you should bring that up to god

When he grants you your magic boobs.
Oh, in my head, it wasn't god. It was a genie. Oh, yes.

And we're gonna need to figure
out what to do with these.

Wow. You're like the sister
I never wanted.

Aw! Oh, really?(chuckles)
I'm not doing any of this.

That is what the ugly duckling
always says in the movies,

But then she
takes her glasses off,

And everyone thinks she's beautiful.
Did--did you just call me an uy duckling?

Oh, look. There's lucy.
Hey, lucy.

D you see drew's video?
What video?

Come on!
Too bad about your boy drew.

But no worries.
I'll pick up the slack.

I already wrote
the beginning of my speech.

So I open up with a line
from the movie "malice"--

(gruff voice) "you ask me if I
have a god complex? I am god!"

(normal voice)
boom! We're in. Yeah, you damn sure are.

I don't think the lock
works on that door,

So if he tries to get out,
subdue him.

Sleeper hold or full nelson?
Dealer's choice.

I'll see what els right.
Fair enough.

Come out if you want to, boy.
Daddy's waitin'.

Why am I scrubbing in
again?

The o.R. Is a safe place.

Nobody's gonna yell
"recognize" at you in here.

Can I ask you a question?

Why do white people
ruin everything?

I only got to say
"fo shizzle" for a week.

A week! And what's up
with you and that video?

The psychologists called it
"an unbalanced act."

But I don't care
about that video.

I just hate that it
reminds me of who I was.

What are the three
categories of presentation

In crohn's disease?
Stricturing, penetrating and inflammatory.

Sorry, dr. Reynolds. Looks like
nobody else studied. (laughs)

(lowers voice)
psst. Little help?

Thanks. (normal voice) oh!
This kid's got a cheat sheet!

That doesn't seem fair to
the rest of us. I'm just sayin'.

I pulled every dirty trick
in the book,

And I still didn't get
chosen as keynote speaker.

That honor went to eric puritsky.
And as doctors... (grunts)

Let me get this straight.
You turned down keynote speaker

Because you're worried
you're becoming that guy again?

I think m already there.

Huh.

Okay. Thank you so much
for letting me dress you up.

I really needed some closure
on the whole makeover thing.

Okay, now take your glasses off,
let that hair down

And act like you don't know
how pretty you are.

(slow jazz saxophone playing)

(gasps)

There it is! Mm!

What is with the sad face?
(glasses clatter)

Dr. Cox is still in my head

About this whole "why do you
want to be a doctor?" thing.

I just--I can't think
of the answer

That he wants, you know?

And you don't think your amazing
new look will take care of that?

I really don't.

Then maybe you should stop
looking for the perfect answer

And just tell him
what you actually think.

You see that, drew?
That's scar tissue.

Nine years ago
when joseph came to me,

I popped out his appendix
and screwed up the closure.

I was so focused
on the abdomen

That I blew the cosmesis
of the incision.

Nowadays I know better,

And I can fix it without
making the same mistake.

And because of that,
I don't have to beat myself up

Over something that
happened a long timago.

So what are you gonna do,
drew?

(monitor beeping steadily)

I'm gonna scrub out.

Hey.

I saw that video. Crazy.

Yeah. It's like my own personal
"don't tase me, bro!"

That's why you've been weird, huh?
Pretty much.

I thought it was about me,

'cause I wouldn't dress
all girly-gay for you.

What? No. I mean,
I guess I'd like to see you

Like that some time, but...

I would never ask you
to do that.

I gotta go.

(drew) why do I want
to be a doctor?

(man) ? the sun won't shine ?

Recognize!
Recognize!

Because the road sure as hell isn't easy...
(man) recognize.

And there always seems to be
something standing in your way.

(snoring)
? and my plans go awry ?

Sometimes it's even yourself.

Dr. Cox.

Oh! Dear god.

I don't have
your pfect answer.

At first I thought it was
to make my family proud,

And then I thought
it was about saving lives,

And for one second,
I thought it was a chance

To get closer
to dr. Sanjay gupta,

Who is a beautiful indian man,
and I've never visited

That continent romantically,
if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, I do.

Anyway, the truth is
I can't pick just one reason.

Oh, my god.
That's the answer.

I want to be a doctor
for all those reasons

And a million more that I
haven't even thought of yet.

That's not bad.
Come on. Let's go.

We're gonna be late
for the white coat ceremony.

Ooh, plus I look super cute
in white.

Now you ruined it.

Luckily, we're surrounded
by amazing individuals,

Talented faculty,

Dedicated mentors,

Outstanding students
who all strive for excellence.

? and every time
my heart will sing ?

And then there's
the new friends

Who make it all
a little easier to handle.

So, uh, in closing, I'd like
to give a simple response

To dr. Cox's question--
why do I want to be a doctor?

Well... Because...

Doctors give people
second chances.

And we all deserve
a second chance.

You better recognize.

(laughter)

(cheering)

(drew speaks indistinctly)

Hey, I know how you're really
mad at the internet right now.

Well, it taketh away,
but it also giveth.

(typing on keyboard)

(cole) and meet the crew!
You're welcome.

We got styles, tricky,
lil' tricky,

My man boots...
Whoo!

And me--cole fusion.
Are you ready?

'cause this is happenin'!

T's do it, boys!
Whoo!

(all cheering
and shouting indistinctly)

(engine revving)

(tires screech)

Oh!

Oh!

(crying) hey! Don't just stand
there, man! Help me up!

Is my hair still cool?

I forgive you, internet.

Turn it off! Come on! Hey,
turn that off! Get it away!

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