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1
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Previously on Mom...
2
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I was thinking I could
stay an extra night...
3
00:00:03,592 --> 00:00:05,766
...for the express purpose
of taking you out.
4
00:00:05,851 --> 00:00:07,298
-I'd really like that.
-Great.
5
00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:10,085
Are you kidding me?
You can't go out with Adam's brother.
6
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:13,132
And yet I've got my good bra on
and I'm headed out the door.
7
00:00:13,217 --> 00:00:15,419
Yeah, but I actually
have to get back home tomorrow.
8
00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:16,890
I'm gonna miss you.
9
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:20,263
You think we should try
the long-distance thing?
10
00:00:20,568 --> 00:00:21,532
I'm game.
11
00:00:23,819 --> 00:00:25,603
But while I've got you here...
12
00:00:31,105 --> 00:00:32,501
You ready for your coffee, babe?
13
00:00:32,586 --> 00:00:35,937
No, thanks.
Starting today, I am giving it up.
14
00:00:36,022 --> 00:00:37,170
Seriously?
15
00:00:37,421 --> 00:00:39,276
Coffee is your only source of water.
16
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,238
When did water become such a big thing?
17
00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:44,107
Isn't it enough that I bathe in it?
18
00:00:45,897 --> 00:00:48,184
-Where did all this come from?
-I read it on Facebook.
19
00:00:48,269 --> 00:00:50,542
"Five Things You Should Give Up
for a Happier Life."
20
00:00:50,627 --> 00:00:52,219
Was number one Facebook?
21
00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:57,092
Hey, how come you guys
didn't wake me up for school?
22
00:00:57,177 --> 00:00:58,400
'Cause you're not 7.
23
00:00:59,681 --> 00:01:01,925
I wish I was. I liked living alone.
24
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:03,912
You want a bagel?
25
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,936
Thanks, but all I need is coffee.
26
00:01:06,182 --> 00:01:09,175
How sad to be so dependent.
I remember those days.
27
00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:12,825
She gave up coffee 30 seconds ago.
28
00:01:13,382 --> 00:01:14,424
Good for you.
29
00:01:14,749 --> 00:01:15,817
You're a dead man.
30
00:01:17,093 --> 00:01:18,356
She's just kidding.
31
00:01:18,488 --> 00:01:19,525
Help me.
32
00:01:21,528 --> 00:01:22,422
Damn.
33
00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:25,039
I just missed another
phone call from Patrick.
34
00:01:25,124 --> 00:01:27,479
How does this happen?
I was holding my phone in my hand.
35
00:01:28,246 --> 00:01:29,491
Why do you hate love?
36
00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:34,105
Why don't you stop playing phone tag and
just drive down to Santa Cruz to see him?
37
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,211
When? We have totally opposite schedules.
38
00:01:37,779 --> 00:01:39,350
Relationships are torture.
39
00:01:39,462 --> 00:01:41,269
Like waterboarding with sex.
40
00:01:42,539 --> 00:01:45,123
That's the sort of comment
that used to bother me...
41
00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:47,390
...when I was under the thumb
of the brown God.
42
00:01:51,281 --> 00:01:54,581
This long-distance thing
is just so frustrating.
43
00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:58,091
I'm not sure Patrick and I
can make it work.
44
00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,065
For what it's worth,
I hope you guys figure it out.
45
00:02:02,591 --> 00:02:05,213
My God, I just missed his call again!
46
00:02:05,886 --> 00:02:07,159
How, how, how?
47
00:02:09,261 --> 00:02:10,202
I'll see ya later.
48
00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,868
Boy, I do not miss dating,
you know what I mean?
49
00:02:13,953 --> 00:02:15,670
Take a sip of your coffee and kiss me.
50
00:02:21,465 --> 00:02:24,394
Hey, Patrick, sorry I missed
your call, yet again.
51
00:02:24,851 --> 00:02:27,370
I dropped my phone in the fountain
in front of the library.
52
00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:28,619
I was making a wish.
53
00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:30,856
Actually, I was wishing you would call me.
54
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:32,593
Ironic, right?
55
00:02:33,207 --> 00:02:34,188
Is it ironic?
56
00:02:34,394 --> 00:02:35,875
That's a word I should
probably stay away from,
57
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,533
until I figure out what it really means.
58
00:02:38,805 --> 00:02:41,596
Anyway, my phone still works, so...
59
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:44,330
...hit me back, as the kids say.
60
00:02:47,326 --> 00:02:49,164
By the way, this is Christy.
61
00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,543
Who should've stopped
at "Sorry I missed your call."
62
00:02:53,878 --> 00:02:54,845
Excuse me.
63
00:02:55,973 --> 00:02:58,179
Don't I know you from
that time we slept together?
64
00:02:58,860 --> 00:02:59,984
Hi, Cooper.
65
00:03:00,071 --> 00:03:02,039
Sorry, I've been meaning
to catch up with you.
66
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,296
Now's your chance. You mind if I sit?
67
00:03:04,926 --> 00:03:07,348
Kind of a bad time. I really got to study.
68
00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,477
Got it. I won't say a word.
69
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,208
Bonjour.
70
00:03:28,317 --> 00:03:31,671
"You are the hottest girl
in the student center."
71
00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:34,803
Cooper, seriously?
72
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:36,996
It's not me. He has a mind of his own.
73
00:03:37,081 --> 00:03:38,692
"And I cannot get you off of it."
74
00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:40,842
Very funny.
75
00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:44,136
"I am not trying to be funny,
I am trying to be sexy."
76
00:03:45,837 --> 00:03:46,920
By being lame?
77
00:03:47,471 --> 00:03:50,456
"Well, that depends.
Is it working, Mon petit ketchup packet?"
78
00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:56,920
"That was fantastique."
79
00:03:58,025 --> 00:03:59,228
It worked. Knock it off.
80
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,478
Hey.
81
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,575
Geez, you scared me!
82
00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:32,175
I thought you gave up coffee.
83
00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:34,544
My head is pounding,
my colon's in gridlock,
84
00:04:34,628 --> 00:04:37,635
and I winged a butter plate at Adam,
so I'm back on the bean.
85
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,184
Yeah, yeah, good for you.
86
00:04:41,269 --> 00:04:42,608
I had sex with Cooper.
87
00:04:44,411 --> 00:04:45,297
I'm sorry, what?
88
00:04:45,382 --> 00:04:47,384
I know. I feel so guilty.
89
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,514
Why?
90
00:04:48,686 --> 00:04:50,115
Because I'm seeing someone.
91
00:04:50,335 --> 00:04:53,246
Patrick? Come on,
you haven't even slept with him.
92
00:04:53,331 --> 00:04:54,794
Believe me, I want to,
93
00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:56,962
but our genitals are never
in the same ZIP Code.
94
00:04:57,905 --> 00:05:01,841
And that's not gonna change anytime soon,
so you're free to do whatever you want.
95
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,284
It's like prison.
Nobody's married, nobody's gay.
96
00:05:08,987 --> 00:05:09,866
Mom.
97
00:05:10,281 --> 00:05:12,019
You actually made me feel better.
98
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:12,955
Thank you.
99
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,465
You act like it's the first...
100
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:15,929
You're welcome.
101
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,567
Please don't tell Adam.
102
00:05:20,652 --> 00:05:22,620
Why would I tell him
you're cheating on his brother?
103
00:05:22,705 --> 00:05:24,616
He would see it that way.
I don't. Keep hugging.
104
00:05:32,987 --> 00:05:35,901
You never know how much you love
something until you give it up.
105
00:05:36,908 --> 00:05:39,436
You realize you're talking
to a table full of addicts?
106
00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:41,685
I don't see the connection.
107
00:05:43,462 --> 00:05:44,960
So, Christy, I'm confused.
108
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,969
At your age, it's only gonna get worse.
109
00:05:49,124 --> 00:05:50,997
Are you and Cooper dating again?
110
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:53,599
No. It was just a one-time thing.
111
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,666
Well, a two-time thing.
112
00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:59,016
I swung by on the way over here.
113
00:05:59,803 --> 00:06:01,329
Look at you having it all.
114
00:06:01,414 --> 00:06:03,973
If you get a bladder infection,
I'm gonna be so proud.
115
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,363
So you like this boy.
116
00:06:07,447 --> 00:06:09,146
No, I like Patrick.
117
00:06:09,231 --> 00:06:11,598
I'm just having fun with Cooper.
118
00:06:11,923 --> 00:06:14,432
Be careful, with your bladder
and your heart.
119
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:19,744
I'm fine.
120
00:06:19,829 --> 00:06:22,532
Guys do this stuff all the time.
Why can't I?
121
00:06:22,957 --> 00:06:26,025
Because you can't be intimate
without getting attached.
122
00:06:26,205 --> 00:06:27,525
Just 'cause I'm sober?
123
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,550
No, because you're you.
124
00:06:29,634 --> 00:06:31,432
I can do it, Bonnie can do it...
125
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:33,955
Can do it blindfolded, and have.
126
00:06:35,488 --> 00:06:36,749
I'm doing it right now.
127
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,300
He's an anesthesiologist. I feel nothing.
128
00:06:40,462 --> 00:06:41,703
I'm sure he doesn't either.
129
00:06:49,328 --> 00:06:51,339
-Where you headed?
-Cooper's.
130
00:06:51,473 --> 00:06:52,724
Dressed like that?
131
00:06:53,165 --> 00:06:54,611
That's the beauty of this thing.
132
00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:56,811
It requires virtually no effort.
133
00:06:57,934 --> 00:06:59,550
I text two words: "You up?"
134
00:06:59,635 --> 00:07:00,957
And bam, it's on.
135
00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:05,701
One time it auto-corrected to "Soup?"
but it still happened.
136
00:07:08,463 --> 00:07:09,709
Hey, where you off to?
137
00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:12,520
To the store.
138
00:07:13,173 --> 00:07:16,017
Not the close one, the one
across town with the olive bar.
139
00:07:16,197 --> 00:07:17,627
God, I love olives.
140
00:07:18,945 --> 00:07:20,732
Anyway, I might be a while.
141
00:07:21,056 --> 00:07:22,739
Would you mind picking up some coffee?
142
00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:24,870
Your mom's blowing through a bag a day.
143
00:07:28,144 --> 00:07:30,150
-Sure.
-Well, as long as you're going...
144
00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:31,705
...to the store,
145
00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:35,626
could you pick up some soup?
146
00:07:38,409 --> 00:07:41,604
Everybody loves a nice,
hot, sexy bowl of soup.
147
00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:44,900
Yeah, soup would be great.
148
00:07:47,145 --> 00:07:48,105
Got it.
149
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:49,718
Coffee and soup.
150
00:07:51,252 --> 00:07:54,288
She's the best.
My brother does not deserve her.
151
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:56,962
That's sweet. You should've told her that
before she left.
152
00:08:04,582 --> 00:08:06,162
Oh, my God, it gets better every time.
153
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,436
Sure does.
154
00:08:09,090 --> 00:08:11,512
-I got to go.
-Wait. Wait.
155
00:08:11,769 --> 00:08:13,872
Why are you always
in such a hurry to leave?
156
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,324
Well, I'm busy, you're busy.
157
00:08:17,508 --> 00:08:18,619
Busy, busy, busy.
158
00:08:19,421 --> 00:08:21,340
Yeah, but this is working, right?
159
00:08:22,519 --> 00:08:23,769
Works for me.
160
00:08:23,948 --> 00:08:26,933
I'm free Tuesday at 5:00, as long
as I'm back in my car by 20 after.
161
00:08:27,392 --> 00:08:28,687
Christy, come on.
162
00:08:29,613 --> 00:08:32,011
This isn't just hooking up anymore.
163
00:08:32,893 --> 00:08:33,865
It isn't?
164
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:35,240
No.
165
00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:38,459
I am totally falling in love with you.
166
00:08:47,707 --> 00:08:48,613
Yup.
167
00:08:49,019 --> 00:08:52,222
Falling in love with you.
168
00:08:54,606 --> 00:08:56,586
But you're a 24-year-old guy.
169
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,950
24-year-old guys don't fall in love.
170
00:09:00,194 --> 00:09:01,683
My mom says I'm an old soul.
171
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:05,772
Well, I am a much older soul.
172
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,969
And I have a lot of baggage.
173
00:09:09,054 --> 00:09:10,789
Lots and lots of baggage.
174
00:09:11,229 --> 00:09:12,812
Then let me help you carry it.
175
00:09:14,419 --> 00:09:15,520
Holy cow.
176
00:09:18,372 --> 00:09:19,488
Cooper, look.
177
00:09:19,996 --> 00:09:23,088
I just don't have
the same feelings for you.
178
00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:30,251
Well, now I'm a little embarrassed.
I booped your nose and everything.
179
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:33,978
I thought we were just
gonna keep it casual,
180
00:09:34,063 --> 00:09:35,475
you know, having a good time.
181
00:09:36,523 --> 00:09:37,830
You mean just sex?
182
00:09:38,148 --> 00:09:39,256
Exactly.
183
00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:42,218
I assumed we were on the same page.
184
00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:44,857
Well, we were not.
185
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,937
So, just to be clear,
186
00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,915
Tuesday at 5:00 not happening?
187
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,389
Bonnie, Bonnie, wake up. Bonnie.
188
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:05,167
It's sleepy time.
I'll throw you one in the morning.
189
00:10:05,948 --> 00:10:07,528
Bonnie. Bonnie.
190
00:10:07,613 --> 00:10:10,782
Okay, fine, but it's not
gonna be the Fourth of July.
191
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,489
I don't want to have sex.
192
00:10:12,574 --> 00:10:13,941
Why not? What's wrong with me?
193
00:10:14,916 --> 00:10:17,339
I'm worried about Christy;
She never came home from the store.
194
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:19,770
Yeah.
195
00:10:20,832 --> 00:10:22,394
Well, she takes forever.
196
00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:26,660
She walks down every aisle,
she talks to people,
197
00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:29,526
then she has to find someone tall
to get stuff off the top shelf.
198
00:10:29,611 --> 00:10:30,759
It's a circus.
199
00:10:31,517 --> 00:10:33,715
Why am I more worried
about your kid than you are?
200
00:10:34,043 --> 00:10:36,377
God, now you sound like
the lady from Child Services.
201
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:40,134
-What if she got in an accident?
-I think you're overreacting.
202
00:10:40,219 --> 00:10:42,572
I think you're underreacting.
I'm gonna call the police.
203
00:10:43,938 --> 00:10:46,703
Plunkett family rule number one.
No cops, ever.
204
00:10:47,716 --> 00:10:48,936
What is wrong with you?
205
00:10:49,363 --> 00:10:50,373
You know what?
206
00:10:50,727 --> 00:10:52,362
You're right. I'm gonna text her.
207
00:10:54,552 --> 00:10:55,843
She actually texted me.
208
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:01,024
"Ran into Wendy. She's having a crisis."
209
00:11:01,109 --> 00:11:02,827
"What else is new? Be home late."
210
00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:05,446
Well, that made me horny. How 'bout you?
211
00:11:14,398 --> 00:11:16,010
Hey, you're still up.
212
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:17,898
Yeah. How's Wendy?
213
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,280
Wendy?
214
00:11:19,529 --> 00:11:21,280
Yeah, your mom said
she was having a crisis.
215
00:11:22,697 --> 00:11:24,888
Yes. Wendy's crisis.
216
00:11:25,666 --> 00:11:26,687
So bad.
217
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,901
We ate your soup and drank your coffee.
218
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:36,837
Sorry to hear that. What's wrong?
219
00:11:37,826 --> 00:11:39,179
I can't really talk about it.
220
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:41,291
It's an AA thing. It's a lady thing.
221
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:43,224
It's an AA lady thing.
222
00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:44,503
Got it.
223
00:11:44,929 --> 00:11:46,863
Well, glad you made it home safe.
224
00:11:46,948 --> 00:11:48,062
I was a little worried.
225
00:11:51,136 --> 00:11:52,137
Thanks.
226
00:11:52,802 --> 00:11:53,679
Night.
227
00:11:54,106 --> 00:11:55,029
Night.
228
00:11:57,988 --> 00:11:58,919
Damn it.
229
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,074
Adam, I lied.
230
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,449
I wasn't with Wendy.
231
00:12:08,897 --> 00:12:10,278
I was with a guy.
232
00:12:11,294 --> 00:12:12,304
A guy?
233
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:14,619
A guy who isn't your brother.
234
00:12:20,136 --> 00:12:22,364
Yeah, I've been seeing Patrick,
235
00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:26,181
but I've also been
doing this other thing, and...
236
00:12:29,036 --> 00:12:30,675
I guess I'm kind of embarrassed.
237
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,110
Okay.
238
00:12:34,574 --> 00:12:35,623
Well...
239
00:12:36,199 --> 00:12:37,555
Not proud of it, but...
240
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:41,691
There's a part of me that's...
241
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:44,970
...kind of laughing
at my brother right now.
242
00:12:46,472 --> 00:12:48,982
Tempted to call him up
and rub his nose in it.
243
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,192
You can't.
244
00:12:51,277 --> 00:12:52,445
I won't. I won't.
245
00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:54,516
Good, 'cause I really like him.
246
00:12:58,161 --> 00:12:59,562
I made a mess, didn't I?
247
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:01,829
Like a dog after he ate a can of chili.
248
00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:05,486
My dog did that once.
We had to burn the carpet.
249
00:13:11,255 --> 00:13:12,873
I hope you don't think less of me.
250
00:13:14,904 --> 00:13:15,800
Christy,
251
00:13:16,623 --> 00:13:18,448
your life is your life,
but I got to tell you,
252
00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:21,338
all this lying and sneaking around,
253
00:13:21,423 --> 00:13:23,649
it doesn't sound like you.
Sounds more like your mom.
254
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,959
Oh, my God, that's the
worst thing you could say.
255
00:13:28,686 --> 00:13:30,838
I'm sorry. I just mean
you're better than she is.
256
00:13:32,694 --> 00:13:34,003
She knows. I told her.
257
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:37,409
So...
258
00:13:38,662 --> 00:13:41,042
...who is this guy who's not my brother?
259
00:13:42,858 --> 00:13:44,327
Just someone from school.
260
00:13:44,912 --> 00:13:46,708
It was supposed to be casual.
261
00:13:47,314 --> 00:13:49,303
My attempt at being a dude.
262
00:13:49,637 --> 00:13:52,153
But then he went and screwed it up
by having feelings for me.
263
00:13:52,921 --> 00:13:55,028
Hold on. Did you set up the ground rules?
264
00:13:55,413 --> 00:13:57,562
No, I just assumed
we were on the same page.
265
00:13:58,122 --> 00:13:59,129
Rookie mistake.
266
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,412
Listen, if you're gonna act like a dude,
you got to set up the rules.
267
00:14:03,497 --> 00:14:06,585
You got to say things like
"I'm not looking for a relationship,"
268
00:14:06,670 --> 00:14:08,161
"I'm not built for a relationship,"
269
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:11,412
"I'm not a relationship kind of guy,"
that type of nonsense.
270
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:14,404
You're right.
271
00:14:14,744 --> 00:14:16,213
Guys do say that.
272
00:14:17,225 --> 00:14:20,014
Guess I never really heard it because
at that point I'm always thinking,
273
00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:22,696
"I can change you, I can change you,
I can change you."
274
00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:26,565
When will women learn
they can't change men?
275
00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:32,431
Says the man who put a ring on my mom's
finger and now listens to Adele.
276
00:14:35,271 --> 00:14:36,428
Son of a bitch.
277
00:14:39,928 --> 00:14:41,649
Okay, how does this sound?
278
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:44,597
-"Dear Cooper..."
-Bad.
279
00:14:44,682 --> 00:14:46,756
It's a text, not a letter from camp.
280
00:14:48,417 --> 00:14:49,812
Don't send anything.
281
00:14:50,318 --> 00:14:52,066
But I need him to forgive me.
282
00:14:52,151 --> 00:14:54,346
How many times have you apologized?
283
00:14:54,888 --> 00:14:55,796
Four...
284
00:14:56,381 --> 00:14:57,362
...teen.
285
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,483
Did you try an Edible Arrangement?
286
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:03,369
She's apologizing
for an "edible arrangement."
287
00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:09,262
I am wasted on all of you.
288
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,040
It's horrible.
289
00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,936
I can't eat, can't sleep.
290
00:15:14,106 --> 00:15:15,846
This is what I was worried about.
291
00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:17,413
You developed feelings.
292
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:19,107
I get it.
293
00:15:19,255 --> 00:15:20,121
"Edible."
294
00:15:22,304 --> 00:15:24,885
Cooper developed the stupid feelings.
295
00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:26,003
I was the dude.
296
00:15:26,088 --> 00:15:27,688
If you were really the dude,
you wouldn't care.
297
00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:30,640
You would ride off on your motorcycle
and go shoot pool, maybe a bear.
298
00:15:32,277 --> 00:15:34,364
I'm not even listening to her anymore.
299
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,512
Honey, you're just gonna
have to live with the fact...
300
00:15:36,597 --> 00:15:38,919
...that there's somebody out there
who doesn't like you.
301
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,090
"Doesn't like you"? He hates her guts.
302
00:15:41,175 --> 00:15:42,687
And FYI, he's not alone.
303
00:15:44,006 --> 00:15:44,939
I'm just saying,
304
00:15:45,458 --> 00:15:47,654
that it's not fair for you
to continue hurting him...
305
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,407
...just to make yourself feel better.
306
00:15:50,798 --> 00:15:52,380
She's so wise.
307
00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:55,748
And yet she thought a purple
velour tracksuit was a good idea.
308
00:15:57,904 --> 00:15:58,755
Fine.
309
00:15:59,097 --> 00:16:00,424
I'll leave Cooper alone.
310
00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:01,536
Good.
311
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:03,849
Now, who else hates me?
312
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,670
Greg at the Thursday night meeting.
313
00:16:07,087 --> 00:16:08,090
Who's Greg?
314
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,676
The guy you always call Scott.
315
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,298
Oh, my God, Scott hates me?
316
00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:38,204
Hi.
317
00:16:39,113 --> 00:16:40,648
God, when do you graduate?
318
00:16:43,081 --> 00:16:46,209
Look, I know I already said I was sorry,
319
00:16:46,294 --> 00:16:50,444
but I just need you to know
that I'm really, really sorry.
320
00:16:51,612 --> 00:16:53,252
I just don't get it, Christy.
321
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:55,571
I mean, it would be one thing
if there was another guy.
322
00:16:55,656 --> 00:16:57,151
Oh, there is!
323
00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:58,984
There's totally another guy.
324
00:17:00,616 --> 00:17:01,489
Does that help?
325
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:03,291
Not as much as I hoped.
326
00:17:04,628 --> 00:17:07,718
What I mean is if I was
able to actually see him,
327
00:17:07,803 --> 00:17:09,110
I wouldn't have needed you.
328
00:17:11,258 --> 00:17:12,669
That came out a little harsh.
329
00:17:12,754 --> 00:17:14,755
Everything you say
comes out a little harsh.
330
00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:18,736
I just mean that
it's a long-distance thing,
331
00:17:18,821 --> 00:17:21,379
and I was frustrated
because it was so complicated,
332
00:17:21,464 --> 00:17:22,560
and you were so easy.
333
00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:24,600
Your apology is making me
wanna kill myself.
334
00:17:26,892 --> 00:17:28,131
That's not what I want.
335
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:29,447
Okay, then what do you want?
336
00:17:32,353 --> 00:17:33,974
I guess I want to be with the other guy.
337
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,165
Then go.
338
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:39,542
"Okay."
339
00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:41,790
"Well, perhaps you will take comfort..."
340
00:17:41,875 --> 00:17:44,283
"...in the fact
that I will die long before you."
341
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:47,730
"Au revoir."
342
00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:01,281
Marjorie said moderation is key,
343
00:18:01,366 --> 00:18:04,000
so I'm just gonna have
one cup of coffee a day.
344
00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:06,424
I can live with that.
345
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,886
You must have been a fun drunk.
346
00:18:10,284 --> 00:18:12,641
I had a small but fervent cult following.
347
00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:22,008
Christy's driving down
to Santa Cruz to see Patrick.
348
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,102
She said she's either gonna make it work
or get her heart broken.
349
00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:27,613
I can't believe she's that crazy
about my brother.
350
00:18:27,698 --> 00:18:28,903
He's kind of a tool.
351
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,586
We are so lucky to have each other.
352
00:18:31,671 --> 00:18:35,449
Yeah, we are. And, hey, you don't ever
have to worry about me cheating on you.
353
00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:37,190
I wasn't, but go on.
354
00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,400
I mean, juggling girlfriends,
355
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:42,112
trying to remember which lie
you told who, sneaking around.
356
00:18:42,197 --> 00:18:43,875
Being with you is so much less trouble.
357
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,308
Look at you, writing your vows already.
358
00:18:47,624 --> 00:18:48,931
No, no, you know what I meant.
359
00:18:49,016 --> 00:18:50,926
I do. And you know
if you ever did cheat on me,
360
00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:53,398
I would take the wheels off your chair
and leave you in the woods.
361
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,024
I do.
362
00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:01,761
It's just kind of wonderful that
Christy's racing down the highway,
363
00:19:01,846 --> 00:19:04,231
wind in her hair, all in the name of love.
364
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:07,793
I'm so excited
365
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,321
And I just can't hide it
366
00:19:12,078 --> 00:19:14,512
I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know
367
00:19:14,597 --> 00:19:16,891
I want you, I want you.
26547
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