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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,520 Oh, my God, it's Oscar. 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,920 Oscar? You know, my ex. 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,680 Ah, what's your name, bruvs? It's Tom. Don't tell me. 4 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,480 We're all heading back to our camp. We've got everything there. 5 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,240 Food, shelter, poi. 6 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,440 - I slept with Oscar. - Bitch! 7 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,360 Aaaah, no! Laura! 8 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,360 Aargh! 9 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,960 Not cool, bruv! This is my wanking hand! 10 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,760 Right, boss. I'm not your boss. 11 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,280 You are now. 12 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,160 - Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom... - I'm like a god to these people. 13 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,920 Oh. It's the gaffer. 14 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,200 The Special One. 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:45,760 So I've been looking at my calendar and I just don't have time to be leader any more. 16 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,120 I've got this other thing. It's quite hectic. 17 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,640 - I've got a lot going on. - What, like drawing pictures of Steven Seagal? 18 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,520 Someone has to remember, Suze. I carry the flame now. 19 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,320 Tom, you promised these people you'd be their leader. 20 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,680 And now, with all the hardship, the danger, 21 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,200 the fear... you're gonna break that promise? 22 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,560 - I was planning to, yeah. - You need to ask yourself one question. 23 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,680 And I ask it every day and, truthfully, 24 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,720 I think childbirth has made you more attractive. 25 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,480 - Now you've got more of this Nicki Minaj thing. - No! 26 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,480 Tom, don't you want to be the best you can be? 27 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,360 Meh. 28 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,080 Fine. I'll do it. 29 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:25,840 Now, what, oh, what, can you do... to reciprocate? 30 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,360 Oh, really? You're that manipulative? 31 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,360 No! We can compromise on a handjob. 32 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,960 Do you really like it? 33 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,840 Is it, is it wicked? 34 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,600 We're loving it, loving it, loving it 35 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,520 We're loving it like that 36 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,040 Do you really like it? 37 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,240 Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! 38 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,280 All right. All right! Thank you. 39 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,280 Ten minutes till the end of the world and you rescue a lute? 40 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,880 - You don't like the lute? - Not crazy about it. 41 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:32,000 Your wish is my command. 42 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,800 Beers, el presidente? 43 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,760 - Ma'am? - Oh. 44 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,040 - Little one? - Er... no. 45 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,880 - Laura, no! - Yes. 46 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,440 Mr Tom, sir. 47 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:54,720 My neighbour Old Mother Pudmore's stolen a pound of rancid butter... 48 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,480 Damn, I forgot to wear my medieval-dispute-solving hat. 49 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,880 - No wimple today. Sorry. - Oh. 50 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,520 And you're sure I have to do this? 51 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:07,000 There's the real Prime Minister. He is technically still in charge. 52 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,040 Swingeing cuts, eat my shit! 53 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,120 The next limp-dick left-winger gets a faceful of my chocolate. 54 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,960 Eh! Tom? 55 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,520 Tom? Come here, geeze. We need a natter. 56 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,840 - This one's for the ladies. - Switch on! 57 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,560 Hardcore, you know the score 58 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,440 Rhymes so good they deserve an encore! 59 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,240 Bump. My conscience is flat-roofing, bruvs. 60 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,160 But me and Suzie, we got history. 61 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,880 - You done the dutty, cos bitch... - La, la, la, la, la... 62 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,080 - Ain't a crime to get a blowie. - La, la, la, la, la... 63 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,840 I'm done. I'm done, I'm done. 64 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,240 I'm sorry, man. I done a likkle bit of time, so can I please come out now? 65 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,920 Hash-tag "my bucket is full of pimp juice". 66 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,800 I'm the boss. I hate you. 67 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,240 So the whole hash-tag "swimming in your own shit" thing? 68 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,120 Not looking good for a couple more years. 69 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,200 But it ain't fair on Zulu. 70 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,880 Zulu. A black dog. 71 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,920 - Represent. - Nice. 72 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,240 No hard feelings? Touch. 73 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,000 Yeah, I'm not shaking your hand, man. 74 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,520 - Is that cos it's been on Suzie's...? - Stop now. 75 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,560 That's an order. 76 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,360 Cooch. 77 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,840 - Touch. - Aargh. You... 78 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,480 Do you really like it? Do you really like it? 79 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,320 We're loving it, loving it, loving it 80 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,960 We're loving it like that 81 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,680 Oh, fuck me, that was cool. 82 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,560 I wish bears still roamed England so that one could come along 83 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,560 and claw that bastard's face off. 84 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,120 Bears never roamed England. 85 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,880 Er... why d'you think they called it Paddington Station? 86 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,120 Fight, fight, fight! 87 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,800 - All right, come on, let's get out of here. - Tom, you're in charge! 88 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,800 Stop, men. I forbid fighting. 89 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,880 Tom, do something! 90 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,440 Bite him, bite him! 91 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,040 Come on, bruv. 92 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,280 Yes! 93 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,360 Mess him up! 94 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,040 He's a stranger! He came here to steal food from our families. 95 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,800 OK. But nothing - absolutely nothing is worth a man's life. 96 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,720 I killed a man. For Coco Pops. 97 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,760 He stole your Coco Pops? 98 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,920 - Death was too good for that son of a bitch. - I must be crazy. 99 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,960 You know what is crazy? 100 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,640 Remember when they renamed them Choco Krispies? 101 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,680 Like everyone already knew the theme song. 102 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,840 Like melodically, "Choco Krispies" just does not work. 103 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,880 - You've got brain on you. - Ahhh! 104 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,880 These are my Waitrose, man. Now all I got is my Lidls. 105 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,480 How can I ever be forgiven? 106 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:56,120 You do owe a debt to society. But I'm sure we can work something out. 107 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,480 You took that man's Coco Pops? 108 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:07,280 Just oiling the wheels of justice with delicious chocolatey milk. 109 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:09,960 - No. - Oi! 110 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,400 - Bastard, I expressed that milk! - Can I have some? 111 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,520 I need calcium to grow big and strong. 112 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,480 Are you playing that card again? "I'm a little girl." 113 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,960 - Yummy. - Greedy-guts. 114 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,880 Did I tell you that Mum's starting a school, Daddy? 115 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,240 - How cool is that? - Not at all cool. 116 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,680 Your life's already shizzle. 117 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,680 We're going to learn literature, biology and French. It's exciting! 118 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,320 - Literature? Are you trying to bore her to death? - What's boring about Shakespeare? 119 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,800 Literally everything. 120 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:41,560 And French - that's just pretentious shrugging. 121 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,840 Hola, generalissimo. 122 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,080 - You like the armour, Suzanne? - Handcrafted by muggins. 123 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,840 After that fight last night, I'm putting my guys on guard duty. 124 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,480 Any thieves or cannibals come round these parts, we'll give 'em a right fisting. 125 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:58,480 The fisting of a lifetime. This is very impressive, Tom. 126 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,600 Leadership's a piece of piss. 127 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,640 You done the rota for the guards yet, boss? 128 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,640 Oh, my God, I made you a codpiece. 129 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:05,840 I can't do everything. 130 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,360 No offence, it's just... we were wondering who's gonna be on duty after us? 131 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,920 I'll do it. I have to do everything else round here. 132 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,360 Boss! 133 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,520 - Do you want the bad news...? - Or...? 134 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,760 - The good news? - There is no good news. 135 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,040 He wants some good news. Make it happen. 136 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,160 Well, this is serious, cos the water purifier's about to explode. 137 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,400 Make him feel good, you bastard! 138 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,120 Oooh! There's a problem with the water purifier. 139 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,680 It's gonna explode and many mother-funkies gonna die. 140 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,800 What was that? 141 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,720 That is the bad news, but in the style of James Brown. 142 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,800 Did it make you feel good? I knew that it would. 143 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,240 He's good. This guy is good. 144 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,680 It's them fucking pilot holes, boss. Rusted to buggery. 145 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,760 Well, here's the... stuff. 146 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,960 So that's all good? You can sort this out? 147 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,400 I'm on lunch, I gotta get home for the match. 148 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,600 - Bloody traffic, eh? - What? 149 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,240 Hi. This is my design. 150 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,720 The whole structure's rusted. 151 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,600 It's dangerous, but we've gotta get in and stop it collapsing. 152 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,280 Right. 153 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,160 Hey, do you remember Waterworld? Stars Kevin Costner? 154 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,800 - I'm aware of the film. - Cos this is just like Waterworld. 155 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,560 - No, it's not. - Well, it's not unlike Waterworld. 156 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,760 I've spent eight years perfecting a system to clean contaminated water 157 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,520 and all people say is, "It's just like fucking Waterworld." 158 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,560 All right, it's a compliment! 159 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,960 It's gonna blow! All hands on deck! 160 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,760 Right! I'll stay back. 161 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,680 Give it some blue sky helicopter vision... in the box, out the box. 162 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,720 Shut up and help us! 163 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,720 Er... have many water-cooler moments? 164 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,240 - Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. - You know, a bit of gossip. 165 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,440 - Who's shagging who. - Well, that's your wife and Oscar. 166 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,480 She's not my wife. Dick. 167 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,680 Mr Tom, sir? 168 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,680 My cauldron of fatted chestnut broth's gone missing, see. 169 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,560 Help us, boss. Ahh... 170 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,120 Sorry, mate. But this is the real crisis. 171 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,280 Chestnut broth. Nightmare. 172 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:20,840 She don't admit to nothing, but you just smell Old Mother Pudmore's breath. 173 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,880 Oh, fuck! 174 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,920 Aaargh! 175 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,200 Right, well, job done. 176 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,800 Cup of tea? 177 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,840 Oi, cape. 178 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,800 Let's get one thing straight, right? 179 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,520 I don't give a shit who's in charge out there. 180 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:48,320 In here, I'm a pharaoh and this is my pyramid. 181 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,120 We cool? 182 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,880 - I killed a man... - Enough! 183 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:59,280 Now, have I ever told you that I was born to run a bar? 184 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,360 Go on. 185 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,000 So... 186 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,440 Biology. 187 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,840 Ooh, if you put a slice of potato into salty water, the potato gets really soggy. 188 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,680 Um... Smoking kills... 189 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,640 - Shut up! - You shut up! 190 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:31,320 - Hey. Both of you! - They said you and Oscar did The Bad Thing. 191 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,040 Well, they're talking shi... zzle out of their arsehizzles. 192 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:40,200 Now, are there any genuine questions relating to biology? 193 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,560 - Yes? - What exactly is The Bad Thing? 194 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,000 - Jesus Christ. - You all right, boss? 195 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,600 Don't just stand there. Give me a hand with Old Mother Pudmore. 196 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,440 OK. Where are you taking her, back to your place? 197 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,040 What is wrong with you? 198 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,800 So, boss, is this just a two-way thing or can anyone get involved? 199 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,400 That's it, one last push. 200 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,680 Doctor, doctor! Oh! 201 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,360 And pop goes the weasel. 202 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,880 I delivered Laura with Suze's parents. 203 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,320 That was quite... an awkward 19 hours. 204 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,940 Right. Is there anything official I need to do when we bury Pudmore? 205 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,900 - Bury? - Or do we cremate people? 206 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:54,100 You don't...? You're cannibals too! 207 00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:57,460 - We only eat dead people. - And that's medically fine, is it, Shipman? 208 00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:01,340 We don't have much food. We ate a pig yesterday! 209 00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,140 How do you have pigs in the first place? 210 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:06,540 You know how it was people in basements and cellars who survived the bombs? 211 00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,500 - Yeah. - I was in a basement with some pigs. 212 00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:09,860 - Why? - Best not to ask. 213 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,980 - I won't. - Unless you want a sleepless night. 214 00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,500 - I don't. - It's a victimless crime. 215 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:15,900 - Didn't ask. - There's chickens if that's more your thing. 216 00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,460 Fucking hell. 217 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,460 Would you like to cut the placenta, boss? 218 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,300 Mother Nature's birthday cake. 219 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:24,620 - Make a wish. - Get me out of here. 220 00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,620 Ooopsie. Now it won't come true. 221 00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,740 Take my turn. 222 00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:40,860 - Just like Question Time. - I'm so sorry. 223 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,900 He's scheduled to masturbate until five - 224 00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:45,220 I had brown snowballs pencilled for tomorrow. 225 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:47,740 Sometimes I think he's gone a little bit mad! 226 00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:49,780 Gaaah! 227 00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:51,820 No! No, no! No! 228 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:56,220 So... what have we learnt about adult relationships? 229 00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:59,340 One. Be safe. 230 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:04,460 Two. If in doubt, ladies first. 231 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:10,580 Three. Guys, you're not going to nag her pants off. 232 00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:13,540 Oh, look, everyone, it's Tom. 233 00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:17,420 Let's thank him for all the good work he's doing for this community. 234 00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:23,260 Er... about that. Can I have a word? 235 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:27,100 Um... Just turn to page two in your book, please, everyone. 236 00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:31,100 These people eat their dead. 237 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:36,260 Listen, it's like when Piers Morgan briefly became popular. 238 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:38,820 Yeah, it's fucked up... but that's just the way it is. 239 00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:43,980 I can't do this leadership thing any more. I quit. 240 00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:48,020 Well, the only way that you're going to salvage a shred of dignity 241 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,980 is by organising a free and fair election. 242 00:13:52,020 --> 00:13:54,460 And I promise to do that. 243 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,300 Hmm. 244 00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:02,180 So we are going to find my replacement with a talent show. 245 00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:06,220 Whoever wins What's Left Of Britain's Got Talent 246 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,660 gets to inherit this heavy, heavy crown. 247 00:14:11,140 --> 00:14:14,420 - Suze, wait! - You break every single promise. 248 00:14:14,460 --> 00:14:16,860 I break promises? What about you and Oscar? 249 00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:21,140 - Kids, we're going back to school. - You can't. 250 00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:25,580 We're kinda using it for the contestants' dressing room. 251 00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:27,780 Don't worry, we've already changed. 252 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:29,940 Heel, Bubbles! To heel! 253 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,460 Come on, you cheeky little monkey. 254 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,940 Michael Jackson. 255 00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:41,540 Come on. 256 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,580 Fridays will be funky house. 257 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:46,700 Hey, Suzie? This cage is so cramped. 258 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,620 - I've got bare deep-vein thrombosis. - Come on, kids. 259 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,140 Shits and gigs! Please! 260 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,340 You fuck one guy's wife... 261 00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:59,300 You did not... his wife. 262 00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:00,740 I'm his girlfriend. 263 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:02,980 And you didn't even... her because you came 264 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:05,060 on my leg before you could even pop it in, 265 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,860 so you have embarrassed yourself. 266 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:11,500 Stop vexing me, yat, we were up all night long. 267 00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,780 I had jizz up my shin. 268 00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:16,940 And I hope your bloody legs do drop off. 269 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:19,940 And your dick. 270 00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,980 Oooh! 271 00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:25,180 Spit spot, kids. 272 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,660 Pick up your lip. 273 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:32,020 - Now, returning to my cocktail bar... - Not again! 274 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,460 I'd probably only show German football. 275 00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:40,540 This is shizzle. 276 00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:46,700 No, it's not. It's a field trip to look at a building full of useless relics. 277 00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:48,740 It's like Buckingham Palace. 278 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:53,060 - I think you're feeling guilty. - Guilty? About what? 279 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,180 - No, I'm not. - Little bit? 280 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,900 Nope. Laura, don't do your smug face. 281 00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:04,820 What you doing here, boss? 282 00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:06,020 I quit. 283 00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,500 That boss bollocks was all about what Suze wanted. 284 00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:10,580 I've got dreams, you know? Desires... 285 00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,380 Oh, I hear you, loud and clear. 286 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:15,420 I've got a nice plump hen with your name written all over it. 287 00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:17,700 - Not like that. - But you are going on guard duty? 288 00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:20,260 - Or is someone covering your shift? - I forgot. 289 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,340 But someone's guarding us now, right? Right? 290 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:25,940 Oh, shit. Suze... 291 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,500 Dad listens to your dreams. 292 00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:31,740 You laugh at his jokes. 293 00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:33,940 You're the big spoon. He's the little spoon. 294 00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:35,540 You're perfect together. 295 00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:41,900 Plus the dating game is way harder nowadays, so don't throw it all away. 296 00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:45,180 You're right, sweetheart. 297 00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:50,740 OK, kids, field trip over. 298 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:52,340 Come on. 299 00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:55,700 Let's go... 300 00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:00,420 - All right? - ...home. 301 00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:04,060 - Come on, lads. - OK. Quickly, guys, that way. 302 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,100 Go, go! Go. 303 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,620 Suze? Laura? 304 00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:12,420 Zorbotron? Zorbotron? 305 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:14,540 - Who the hell is Zorbotron? - That's my son. 306 00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:17,060 My wife and I thought the bombs heralded the space age. 307 00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,020 You know: starships, whole meals in single pills. 308 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:22,620 Robot hookers. Zorbotron! 309 00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:26,700 Robot hookers? Go on. 310 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:34,580 - Don't come any closer. - You're scran, ya quilt. 311 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,060 I mean it. Cos we will mess you up. 312 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,700 Because we were born to raise hell. 313 00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:52,300 Synthetic flesh: the warmth of a woman, but without any of the reservations. 314 00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:54,340 Zorbotron! 315 00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:56,180 Aargh! 316 00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:00,620 Aargh! Aargh! 317 00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:02,260 Oooh! 318 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,300 - Hey! - What? 319 00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:07,180 Aargh! 320 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,020 Aaargh! 321 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:11,060 I'm devoed now, you divvy bird! 322 00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:16,140 Your mum's wicked. 323 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,020 - Come on! - Suze! 324 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,100 Suze! Suze! Don't worry... I'm here. 325 00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:26,300 I'm gonna save ya! 326 00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:28,460 Suze, I've got ya! Don't you worry... 327 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,180 Aargh! 328 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,140 Come on! 329 00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,500 Go on, miss! 330 00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:36,180 Get him! 331 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,180 Aargh! 332 00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:45,940 I think I slightly twisted my ankle. 333 00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:48,340 Hello. All right? 334 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:49,900 Commend my soul to Shankley. 335 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,940 Ooh! 336 00:18:58,060 --> 00:19:00,900 All right, Tom? Field trip. 337 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,980 Nice one. Nice one, miss! 338 00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:04,780 That's my girlfriend. 339 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,140 Whoo! 340 00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:15,380 - How did you do that? - My dad made me take fencing lessons. 341 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:17,780 You are so posh. 342 00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:22,060 Tom, you don't have to be the best that you can be. 343 00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,555 I wouldn't like that guy anyway. 344 00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:26,700 Cos he'd be obnoxious and he'd steal my thunder. 345 00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:28,500 I'm sorry. No need to apologise. 346 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:31,780 After what you did back there? I don't wanna fight ever again, babe. 347 00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:36,260 - Also, me and Oscar, we didn't actually... - La, la, la, la... 348 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,060 Nothing happened... My shin. On my shin! 349 00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:45,260 Welcome to What's Left Of Britain's Got Talent! 350 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,700 Let's welcome our first contestant - Mr Felix Sleeve! 351 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:53,420 Go, Felix! 352 00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,340 Hello, wasteland! 353 00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:58,500 Who's this an impression of? 354 00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,500 "Oh, I'm really cool and happening, 355 00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:03,980 but actually my girlfriend's having sex with Oscar behind my back." 356 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,580 All right. 357 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:12,100 Old MacDonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o... 358 00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,180 Ooh! 359 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:27,500 I am God, I am flying 360 00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:29,900 Haters saying I'm falling But I am balling 361 00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:31,940 So pop it in, cos I can go all night 362 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:36,860 - He can go all night. - Like you mean it, bruv. 363 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,780 - He can go all night. - * I can go all night * 364 00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:45,820 Aaargh! 365 00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,980 I can go all night, yeah 366 00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:50,620 I can go all night, I can go all night 367 00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:54,780 Jesus will rise again! 368 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,020 Next up, Zulu! 369 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,060 Yeah! 370 00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:16,820 It's dancing! It's a miracle. 371 00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:19,820 Leader! Leader! 372 00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:22,940 Leader! Leader! Leader! Leader! 373 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:28,940 You can't vote for Zulu... 374 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,700 Cos I'm taking back what's mine! 375 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:37,180 - How did you escape? - Oh, that would be my bad. 376 00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:38,900 I was taking him back to his cage 377 00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:41,660 and I took the opportunity to empty old Mr Poo Bucket here. 378 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,660 I only turned my back for a second, honestly, boss. 379 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,340 He ain't your boss. I am. 380 00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:49,300 Technically we should get Zulu to mediate the situation... 381 00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:52,180 - Shut it, crump. - The dog's our leader now. Them's the apples. 382 00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:55,740 - That's not the saying. - This baggamanz my people! 383 00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,660 Right. 384 00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:01,140 I am so sick of this. 385 00:22:01,180 --> 00:22:03,860 Politics isn't a dick-measuring competition 386 00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:07,540 between a few childish, arrogant, incompetent fools... 387 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:10,100 ...any more. 388 00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:14,300 Listen. Just put the spade down, babe. 389 00:22:14,340 --> 00:22:18,540 - Do not call me babe! - Or what? 390 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,300 Zulu - get her! 391 00:22:21,860 --> 00:22:24,420 No! 392 00:22:28,100 --> 00:22:30,260 Why, Suze? 393 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:33,260 You hit my fucking dog with a spade, man. 394 00:22:38,420 --> 00:22:42,660 We should never have given power to just one man. Particularly that one man. 395 00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:46,780 All right. From now on, we run this place by committee. 396 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,460 - Any questions? - Can I have some more Zulu? 397 00:22:51,180 --> 00:22:55,060 Tell you what, for a mangy old dog, Zulu doesn't half taste good. 398 00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:59,700 I never thought a spit roast would make me so sad. 399 00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:02,020 subtitles by Deluxe - Godem - 400 00:23:02,060 --> 00:23:04,660 I love my dog as much as I love you 401 00:23:05,780 --> 00:23:07,820 But you may fade 402 00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:10,300 My dog will always come through 403 00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:12,780 I love my dog 404 00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:15,740 Baby, I love my dog 405 00:23:15,780 --> 00:23:18,460 Na-na, na, na, na-na, na, na 406 00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:20,700 I said I love my dog 407 00:23:20,740 --> 00:23:23,140 Baby, I love my dog... 408 00:23:23,190 --> 00:23:27,740 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31042

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