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FITZ:
Relationships are complicated,
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00:00:08,010 --> 00:00:09,977
no matter what stagein the game...
3
00:00:09,978 --> 00:00:12,480
Banging, dating, marriage...
4
00:00:12,481 --> 00:00:15,850
banging someone you dated onthe day they get married.
5
00:00:15,851 --> 00:00:19,553
Look at her:pretty little Ali Devon,
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00:00:19,554 --> 00:00:23,824
concerned for my well-being,obviously reliving
7
00:00:23,825 --> 00:00:26,793
that mind-blowing orgasmI just gave her.
8
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:31,731
So what if I'm on the lam for amurder I didn't commit?
9
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,767
Everything's cool,and she totally wants me.
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00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,371
We need to talk,
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00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:40,307
and be perfectly clear about
what this means for us.
12
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:43,642
Uh-oh...She totally wants me.
13
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:46,479
Is there anything
that you want to say?
14
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,615
Um...
15
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,454
I need to take a piss.
16
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,858
Committed relationships are forsuckers at the best of times.
17
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:03,461
With the cops on your tail,you gotta move fast.
18
00:01:03,462 --> 00:01:05,363
Don't get weighed down withextra baggage.
19
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,165
Good idea.
20
00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:09,234
Listen, urinal cake,
we gotta ditch Ali.
21
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,468
What?! We can't do that.
22
00:01:10,469 --> 00:01:13,104
Sure we can. Just go
back there and tell her
23
00:01:13,105 --> 00:01:15,372
she's gotta piss now, 'cause
we're not gonna stop again.
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00:01:15,373 --> 00:01:17,608
You know, it's funny...
She just told me the same thing.
25
00:01:17,609 --> 00:01:18,876
Huh?
What?
26
00:01:18,877 --> 00:01:19,977
(Engine starting)
27
00:01:19,978 --> 00:01:20,978
Fuck!
28
00:01:20,979 --> 00:01:22,146
Wait, Richard!
29
00:01:22,147 --> 00:01:23,848
Hey, I'm still peeing! Richard!
30
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Hey! Ali! Ali!
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00:01:29,487 --> 00:01:31,988
Fuck.
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Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Without you
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I'd find my smile
35
00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:45,702
Without you
36
00:01:45,703 --> 00:01:48,203
I'd have won by a mile
37
00:01:48,204 --> 00:01:50,573
Without you
38
00:01:50,574 --> 00:01:54,276
Oh, life would be so grand
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00:01:54,277 --> 00:01:56,344
Without you
40
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:58,413
I'm half a man
41
00:01:58,414 --> 00:02:02,150
Without you
42
00:02:16,565 --> 00:02:19,466
LARRY: Richard, we can't run
from the police forever.
43
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:21,534
We need to find Sonja now!
44
00:02:25,807 --> 00:02:28,108
I need eggs, bacon, and single malt.
45
00:02:28,109 --> 00:02:29,710
Richard, we can't afford alcohol.
46
00:02:29,711 --> 00:02:31,011
We'll share the eggs, and no bacon.
47
00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:33,013
You need to watch your
cholesterol, mister.
48
00:02:33,014 --> 00:02:35,147
What are we? A couple of
anorexic high school girls?
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00:02:35,148 --> 00:02:37,116
Richard, we are down to our last $20,
50
00:02:37,117 --> 00:02:38,417
and we can't use credit or debit
51
00:02:38,418 --> 00:02:39,819
because we have to stay off the grid.
52
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:41,353
Otherwise, the police
could track us down.
53
00:02:41,354 --> 00:02:43,155
You are wanted for Sonja's murder.
54
00:02:43,156 --> 00:02:45,958
Our only recourse is to find her
and clear your name.
55
00:02:45,959 --> 00:02:47,693
There is no way that I am spending
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00:02:47,694 --> 00:02:49,095
what could be the last week of my life
57
00:02:49,096 --> 00:02:50,762
in jail or on the run with you.
58
00:02:50,763 --> 00:02:52,764
Come on! We're doing okay.
59
00:02:52,765 --> 00:02:54,065
You were gonna take a ride
60
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,333
from that creepy dude
at the rest stop.
61
00:02:55,334 --> 00:02:57,636
Gunther was a gentleman!
62
00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:59,470
Don't worry, Richard;
I will do whatever it takes
63
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,439
to exonerate you of these
heinous accusations.
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00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,908
All I need... is a clue,
65
00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:06,177
or a lead, or some,
just, scrap of evidence.
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00:03:06,178 --> 00:03:08,245
Yeah, well, make it fast, Nancy Drew.
67
00:03:08,246 --> 00:03:10,848
My handsome mug is plastered all
over the news.
68
00:03:10,849 --> 00:03:12,149
It's only a matter of time
69
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,217
before one of these
mouth-breathers recognize me.
70
00:03:14,218 --> 00:03:17,054
Richard, don't be ridiculous.
Nobody is watching you--
71
00:03:17,055 --> 00:03:19,356
Except for...
72
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,660
Holy fuck! Laverne!
73
00:03:41,044 --> 00:03:43,279
I never anticipated
there would come a time
74
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,247
when I wished you would speak.
75
00:03:45,248 --> 00:03:46,815
It's fine.
76
00:03:46,816 --> 00:03:49,451
Oh, I see. Well, I'm so sorry to
bring you much regret.
77
00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:52,688
Perhaps you too are merely
adequate at intercourse.
78
00:03:52,689 --> 00:03:54,623
It's not you, it's--
I feel guilty.
79
00:03:54,624 --> 00:03:56,357
I barely broke up with your cousin,
80
00:03:56,358 --> 00:03:58,092
and the next thing
you know, we're--
81
00:03:58,093 --> 00:04:00,861
Next thing you know, we are
making the beast with two backs
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00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:03,197
sing sweetly from our loins.
83
00:04:03,198 --> 00:04:06,901
I can see him, looking at me...
disappointed.
84
00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:10,971
Mocca-bear!
85
00:04:10,972 --> 00:04:12,372
What are you doing here?
86
00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:15,375
A vicious strain of Norwalk
ravaged our vessel,
87
00:04:15,376 --> 00:04:16,777
forcing our immediate return.
88
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:20,980
Were it not for this searing
pain in my colon,
89
00:04:20,981 --> 00:04:22,949
I never would have learned of
this treachery.
90
00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:24,951
Oh, I'm sorry!
91
00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:27,320
Please forgive me!
I'll do anything.
92
00:04:27,321 --> 00:04:28,988
There is nothing to be done...
93
00:04:28,989 --> 00:04:33,259
Except to consume
vast amounts of Gatorade.
94
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:35,594
You have lost many electrolytes.
95
00:04:35,595 --> 00:04:37,896
What? That's it?
You're just gonna give up.
96
00:04:37,897 --> 00:04:38,897
You're not even gonna fight for me?
97
00:04:38,898 --> 00:04:40,699
Will you be quiet?
98
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:43,301
This man needs some rest, not
your relentless camel braying.
99
00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:48,006
You're a fucking waitress?
100
00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:50,541
Sexual mysticism isn't exactly
a growth industry.
101
00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:53,444
Here is where I am having a problem...
102
00:04:53,445 --> 00:04:55,079
You told me that Richard's
shadowy figure
103
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,580
is "closer than we think."
104
00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:59,217
Well, we have exhausted every
resource at our disposal,
105
00:04:59,218 --> 00:05:01,152
and are no closer
to a solution, missy!
106
00:05:01,153 --> 00:05:04,688
The solution is obvious,
head cheese. She made it up.
107
00:05:04,689 --> 00:05:08,091
Right, 'cause I got nothing
better to do with my time.
108
00:05:08,092 --> 00:05:10,426
You had me worrying
about some bullshit curse,
109
00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,095
when I should've been worried
about finding Sonja
110
00:05:12,096 --> 00:05:13,696
and squashing this murder warrant!
111
00:05:13,697 --> 00:05:14,697
You're actually worried?
112
00:05:14,698 --> 00:05:15,766
You're wanted for murder?
113
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:17,300
You didn't know
I was wanted for murder?
114
00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:18,701
Some fucking psychic you are.
115
00:05:18,702 --> 00:05:20,937
I'm a little hit-and-miss.
116
00:05:20,938 --> 00:05:22,471
How about another go-around?
117
00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:34,483
LARRY: Ooh, Richard!
Ask where to look for Sonja!
118
00:05:37,487 --> 00:05:39,320
LAVERNE:
Oh... Oh... Oh...
119
00:05:39,321 --> 00:05:41,389
Oh... Cock-on-a-stick!
120
00:05:43,725 --> 00:05:46,861
"Cock-on-a-stick."
What does that mean?
121
00:05:46,862 --> 00:05:48,830
It means you owe her
our last 20, Sherlock.
122
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:50,899
What?
123
00:05:55,103 --> 00:05:56,870
Nice car.
It's a rental.
124
00:05:56,871 --> 00:05:58,538
I never should've let you
talk me into this.
125
00:05:58,539 --> 00:06:00,174
I don't have the stomach
for conspiracy.
126
00:06:00,175 --> 00:06:05,012
Conspiracy? You proactively
prosecuted. That's your job.
127
00:06:05,013 --> 00:06:06,646
I should've stopped you
128
00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:08,849
from putting that bloody knife
in Fitz's trunk.
129
00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:10,582
I knew it was wrong.
130
00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:14,086
Chester, you didn't frame
anyone. I make my own decisions,
131
00:06:14,087 --> 00:06:16,222
and I decided to plant the knife.
132
00:06:16,223 --> 00:06:19,225
Did you really think
you could stop me?
133
00:06:19,226 --> 00:06:21,294
But I can't go to jail
134
00:06:21,295 --> 00:06:23,029
with all of the mobsters that
I couldn't get off on mistrials.
135
00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:26,231
They'll make me get them off,
and-- Oh God, what if I like it?
136
00:06:26,232 --> 00:06:29,201
Chester... give me your hand.
137
00:06:32,738 --> 00:06:33,805
(Cracking)
138
00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:35,240
I know you're pathetic.
139
00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:37,342
Why, you couldn't even
keep your fianc?e
140
00:06:37,343 --> 00:06:40,678
from fucking her ex-boyfriend
on your wedding day.
141
00:06:40,679 --> 00:06:43,180
That's why I'm gonna
make this easy for you.
142
00:06:43,181 --> 00:06:46,183
One word.
If the cops come asking,
143
00:06:46,184 --> 00:06:49,386
deny... deny...
144
00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:51,755
deny.
145
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:54,925
Okay, that hurts.
146
00:06:54,926 --> 00:06:57,894
Just remember...
147
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,896
I'm the boss.
148
00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:11,941
LARRY:
Richard, please,
149
00:07:11,942 --> 00:07:15,010
we've been walking for hours.
150
00:07:15,011 --> 00:07:17,045
My bovine allergy,
151
00:07:17,046 --> 00:07:18,713
mixed with that cheese blintz
back at the diner--
152
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:19,814
(Belching)
153
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,884
Pardon me.
Richard, are you listening?
154
00:07:33,028 --> 00:07:34,028
There.
155
00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:37,564
This has to be it.
Cock-on-a-stick!
156
00:07:37,565 --> 00:07:39,433
Oh, no, I hope not,
157
00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:42,536
because I saw a place like this
in a horror movie once,
158
00:07:42,537 --> 00:07:44,205
and the farm was owned by cannibals
159
00:07:44,206 --> 00:07:48,341
who slaughtered travellers
and then... ate them!
160
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,277
Yeah...
161
00:07:50,278 --> 00:07:53,380
My cousin brought his girlfriend
out here once to mess around.
162
00:07:53,381 --> 00:07:56,682
The police didn't find their
mutilated bodies for a year.
163
00:07:56,683 --> 00:08:00,220
I heard about that. Didn't he
dismember them with a chainsaw?
164
00:08:00,221 --> 00:08:02,788
Worse. They were
bludgeoned to death...
165
00:08:02,789 --> 00:08:07,459
with a chainsaw!
166
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:10,595
Let's just rescue Sonja and get
the hell out of here
167
00:08:10,596 --> 00:08:13,799
before our severed heads before
some mutant hillbilly's sex toy.
168
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,801
Richard, what if we find her and
she's been dismembered?
169
00:08:15,802 --> 00:08:17,369
What if they're eating her
as we speak?
170
00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:21,205
Wait here, you nancy.
171
00:08:26,878 --> 00:08:30,481
(Moaning)
172
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,470
Holy shit... Laverne was right.
We actually found you.
173
00:08:54,471 --> 00:08:57,739
Mr. Fitz?
174
00:08:57,740 --> 00:08:59,541
What are you doing here?
175
00:08:59,542 --> 00:09:01,143
I'm here to save you...
176
00:09:01,144 --> 00:09:04,447
unless you've been abducted by
one of those polygamist cults,
177
00:09:04,448 --> 00:09:06,414
'cause I could get behind that.
178
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,116
I wasn't abducted.
I came home to my family.
179
00:09:08,117 --> 00:09:10,551
Your family of lesbians?
180
00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:11,586
I'm Amish.
181
00:09:11,587 --> 00:09:13,021
You are not.
182
00:09:13,022 --> 00:09:15,323
You never did listen to me.
183
00:09:15,324 --> 00:09:16,891
All those times I told you
184
00:09:16,892 --> 00:09:19,427
that I was on my Rumspringa
to test my faith,
185
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:22,496
to see if I was committed to
returning to the Amish church?
186
00:09:22,497 --> 00:09:25,866
I always thought Rumspringa
was your safe word.
187
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:27,934
You know, it still can be.
188
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:31,105
I have relinquished the English ways,
189
00:09:31,106 --> 00:09:33,440
and returned to my roots.
190
00:09:33,441 --> 00:09:35,476
And you have to go!
191
00:09:35,477 --> 00:09:39,112
No, no way! I'm being framed
for your murder,
192
00:09:39,113 --> 00:09:41,014
and since you're the one who ran
off, you fucking owe me.
193
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:44,283
You made me leave!
194
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,319
LARRY: Richard! Help!
Cannibal hillbillies!
195
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,391
Olaf, put the pitchfork down.
196
00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:54,159
Sonja! You're alive!
Thank goodness!
197
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,161
Sonja, this English was
besmirching our goat.
198
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,897
I was not besmirching it.
I was petting!
199
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,865
What goes on here?
200
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:04,169
I'm sorry, Olaf. I know Larry
from my Rumspringa.
201
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,172
It is indeed a pleasure.
202
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,241
I have to say, I find your
culture fascinating.
203
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,842
The humility, the abstinence...
204
00:10:11,843 --> 00:10:14,145
The cannibalism... not too
keen on. Gotta be honest.
205
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:16,080
We're not cannibals, Larry.
206
00:10:16,081 --> 00:10:19,583
You're thinking of the Mennonites.
207
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,185
Richard Fitzpatrick.
208
00:10:21,186 --> 00:10:23,454
Call me Fitz.
209
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:26,389
I know all about you, Fitz.
210
00:10:26,390 --> 00:10:28,224
Your exploits, your wanton ways,
211
00:10:28,225 --> 00:10:31,027
and I will not allow you to
corrupt Sonja anymore.
212
00:10:31,028 --> 00:10:32,495
I never twisted her arm...
213
00:10:32,496 --> 00:10:34,364
unless, of course, she wanted me to.
214
00:10:34,365 --> 00:10:38,234
Olaf is the best carriage-maker
in the village.
215
00:10:38,235 --> 00:10:40,136
Sonja, piety.
216
00:10:40,137 --> 00:10:42,571
I just want him to know what a
good husband you're gonna make.
217
00:10:42,572 --> 00:10:44,606
Husband?
218
00:10:44,607 --> 00:10:46,475
It is true.
Sonja and I are betrothed.
219
00:10:46,476 --> 00:10:47,543
Oh! Congratulations!
220
00:10:47,544 --> 00:10:48,477
You can't marry this guy.
221
00:10:48,478 --> 00:10:50,745
Why not?
222
00:10:50,746 --> 00:10:51,746
Because...
223
00:10:51,747 --> 00:10:54,749
Because I need you...
224
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,419
to clear my name.
225
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:01,622
So, you're not here for me,
you're here for yourself.
226
00:11:01,623 --> 00:11:03,491
I should've known.
227
00:11:03,492 --> 00:11:06,494
All we need is a quick
phone call, maybe a photo--
228
00:11:06,495 --> 00:11:08,496
OLAF:
No, there is no signal here,
229
00:11:08,497 --> 00:11:10,598
but there is a payphone down the road.
230
00:11:10,599 --> 00:11:14,134
Go, Sonja, make the call, so
these English will leave.
231
00:11:14,135 --> 00:11:16,636
No.
232
00:11:16,637 --> 00:11:19,539
We limit our use of modern
technology to one day a week,
233
00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:22,842
and I am done compromising my
values for Fitz.
234
00:11:22,843 --> 00:11:27,046
We'll go on Friday.
Phone day.
235
00:11:27,047 --> 00:11:28,715
In this case, we can
make an exception.
236
00:11:28,716 --> 00:11:30,449
Oh no. No, no.
237
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:35,387
If Friday is phone day,
then we will wait till Friday.
238
00:11:35,388 --> 00:11:37,623
So, what are the sleeping
arrangements?
239
00:11:43,997 --> 00:11:47,099
LARRY: So, you're Sonja's brother.
I didn't know she had a brother.
240
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:51,837
There are many things about
Sonja you did not know.
241
00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:53,939
I changed the straw,
242
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:56,642
and the blanket is worn
by our cleanest horse.
243
00:11:56,643 --> 00:12:00,512
So, where do I sleep?
244
00:12:00,513 --> 00:12:08,986
You're funny, English.
I like you.
245
00:12:08,987 --> 00:12:10,621
How come every woman I fuck
246
00:12:10,622 --> 00:12:12,389
decides to marry
a douche-nozzle?
247
00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:14,424
Well, that's why you want to
stay until phone day:
248
00:12:14,425 --> 00:12:15,559
to win Sonja back!
249
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,594
No, I want to stay to clear my name!
250
00:12:17,595 --> 00:12:19,863
If you win Sonja's forgiveness,
you'll clear your name,
251
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,898
and your soul!
252
00:12:21,899 --> 00:12:23,332
And mine!
253
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:26,536
For stealing those dice,
for breaking into Dot's house,
254
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,538
for lying to the police,
for stealing feet from a morgue.
255
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,974
You're still talking.
256
00:12:30,975 --> 00:12:32,742
Let's do this, Richard.
Let's go Amish!
257
00:12:32,743 --> 00:12:34,843
For Sonja, for ourselves...
258
00:12:34,844 --> 00:12:38,080
Our future (what's left of it),
depends on it!
259
00:12:39,816 --> 00:12:41,850
Fine... but I'm not
doing the beard.
260
00:12:41,851 --> 00:12:44,252
Amish!
261
00:12:49,592 --> 00:12:50,692
Good morning!
262
00:12:50,693 --> 00:12:52,894
What are you doing?
263
00:12:52,895 --> 00:12:54,461
What does it look like?
264
00:12:54,462 --> 00:12:56,164
We're trying to learn about
humility and shit.
265
00:12:56,165 --> 00:12:57,565
You could never fit in here.
266
00:12:57,566 --> 00:12:59,500
I'll out-humble you any day
of the week, fucker.
267
00:13:02,071 --> 00:13:06,273
Being Amish is about
commitment to God and community.
268
00:13:06,274 --> 00:13:09,442
It is about submission to a
power higher than yourself.
269
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:10,877
Submission?
270
00:13:10,878 --> 00:13:13,847
Look, I know Richard
has proven to be a bit...
271
00:13:13,848 --> 00:13:15,882
egotistical...
in the past, but--
272
00:13:15,883 --> 00:13:18,451
He says, "You're welcome,"
when he orgasms.
273
00:13:20,654 --> 00:13:22,388
Now, Sonja, we go on Rumspringa
274
00:13:22,389 --> 00:13:24,389
to experience the life of the English.
275
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:28,194
It is only fair to allow them to
experience our life.
276
00:13:28,195 --> 00:13:32,564
Come. Mayhap Samuel Samuelson
could use their assistance
277
00:13:32,565 --> 00:13:34,566
in the cooperage.
278
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,068
Olaf--
279
00:13:36,069 --> 00:13:40,105
Look, I know we have a long way
to go, but Richard can change...
280
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:41,272
for you!
281
00:13:41,273 --> 00:13:43,708
You just watch me evolve!
282
00:13:43,709 --> 00:13:45,777
Ooh!
283
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,620
FITZ:
You're holding it wrong.
284
00:13:56,621 --> 00:13:58,555
How can I be holding it wrong?
285
00:13:58,556 --> 00:14:00,791
Just do the exact opposite of
what you're doing right now.
286
00:14:00,792 --> 00:14:04,461
It's like that effing Ikea shelf
all over again.
287
00:14:04,462 --> 00:14:05,629
(Laughing)
288
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:07,397
Thought you fuckers were
supposed to be humble.
289
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:09,733
Oh, we are humble,
290
00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:12,435
but we also enjoy some
good-natured buffoonery.
291
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:16,906
I'm sure there is a simpler task
you could attempt.
292
00:14:16,907 --> 00:14:20,643
Let's see how you do
drilling some bungholes.
293
00:14:20,644 --> 00:14:23,211
What the fuck did you just say to me?
294
00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:25,781
This. A bunghole.
295
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,650
You trying to start something,
"Little House on the Fairy"?
296
00:14:27,651 --> 00:14:30,619
Of course not.
297
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,321
Richard, the Amish don't fight.
298
00:14:32,322 --> 00:14:34,956
Maybe it's time they learned.
299
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,292
SONJA:
Mr. Fitz? Larry?
300
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,261
Why don't you help out
the women in the orchard?
301
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:40,662
(Snickering)
302
00:14:40,663 --> 00:14:41,963
Women's work...
303
00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:53,607
Have I offended?
304
00:15:01,983 --> 00:15:06,586
We have discussed it at length,
and we've come to a decision.
305
00:15:06,587 --> 00:15:08,621
Yeah, well I've made a decision too.
306
00:15:08,622 --> 00:15:10,056
Uh, you're leaving?
307
00:15:10,057 --> 00:15:11,891
Well, I'm certainly not sticking
around here while you two
308
00:15:11,892 --> 00:15:15,128
ignore my obvious qualities
worth fighting over.
309
00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:17,163
You see? This is why it would
never work with her.
310
00:15:17,164 --> 00:15:20,033
She's unwilling to understand
the ways of our people.
311
00:15:20,034 --> 00:15:23,069
We Pashtuns are passionate,
but mostly non-violent.
312
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:24,970
To steal a cousin's woman
313
00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:27,039
is almost as bad as stealing
a cousin's livestock,
314
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,377
yet we still try to find
a peaceful solution.
315
00:15:31,378 --> 00:15:33,512
But if all of that fails,
then we blow it up.
316
00:15:33,513 --> 00:15:36,816
If you loved me, you'd fight for me.
317
00:15:36,817 --> 00:15:39,984
A duel?
318
00:15:39,985 --> 00:15:42,987
I have not, and will never,
cross swords with my cousin!
319
00:15:50,529 --> 00:15:53,898
There is something invigorating
about a day of manual work,
320
00:15:53,899 --> 00:15:54,999
don't you think, Richard?
321
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,933
To feel the soil in your hands,
322
00:15:56,934 --> 00:16:00,337
see the actual fruits of your
labour, growing all around you.
323
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,473
It makes me feel at one with the land.
324
00:16:02,474 --> 00:16:03,940
Good day, m'ladies.
325
00:16:03,941 --> 00:16:05,242
I need a drink.
326
00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:06,877
No, Richard.
The Amish abstain.
327
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,245
There's gotta be something
around here.
328
00:16:08,246 --> 00:16:10,213
Some fermented cider, turpentine...
329
00:16:10,214 --> 00:16:11,947
Ooh, magic mushrooms!
330
00:16:11,948 --> 00:16:14,083
No, don't! If those are poison,
they could kill you.
331
00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:16,218
As long as they get me high.
332
00:16:16,219 --> 00:16:18,621
SONJA: I do not understand
your reluctance.
333
00:16:18,622 --> 00:16:21,391
OLAF: Edith is a good woman,
but she is impetuous.
334
00:16:21,392 --> 00:16:22,958
Good day, m'ladies.
335
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:24,994
SONJA: She does not need your
permission or her father's
336
00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:26,962
to buy what she wants.
337
00:16:26,963 --> 00:16:29,531
There will be no further
discussion. My mind is made up.
338
00:16:29,532 --> 00:16:31,566
Edith needs a new buggy,
339
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,769
and you are the best builder
in the area.
340
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:35,537
She is willing to pay.
341
00:16:35,538 --> 00:16:38,206
Your avarice grows in the
presence of these English.
342
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:41,743
Trouble in paradise?
343
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:45,112
I am sorry you had to witness
our heated discord.
344
00:16:45,113 --> 00:16:48,616
Our neighbour Edith requires a
new method of conveyance.
345
00:16:48,617 --> 00:16:50,284
Sonja has spoken out of turn.
346
00:16:50,285 --> 00:16:52,586
So, build her the fucking buggy.
That'd what I'd do.
347
00:16:52,587 --> 00:16:56,023
It takes months to craft a
quality buggy.
348
00:16:56,024 --> 00:16:59,259
Caleb can help.
He wants to learn.
349
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:02,161
Caleb is not ready.
350
00:17:02,162 --> 00:17:05,799
Tell your friend she'll
have her buggy by Friday.
351
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,300
You are going to build her a buggy?
352
00:17:07,301 --> 00:17:08,301
Yeah.
353
00:17:08,302 --> 00:17:10,603
How?
354
00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:15,607
A used buggy?
355
00:17:15,608 --> 00:17:17,643
Our craftsmanship is all that we have.
356
00:17:17,644 --> 00:17:19,478
We cannot allow the sale of
anything but the best.
357
00:17:19,479 --> 00:17:22,347
Gosh, Olaf...
sounds like pride to me.
358
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:32,958
Have you even built a buggy before?
359
00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:35,226
Some new floorboards,
a couple of new wheels,
360
00:17:35,227 --> 00:17:36,594
this baby'll be good to go,
361
00:17:36,595 --> 00:17:39,364
just like those go-karts I used
to build when I was a kid.
362
00:17:39,365 --> 00:17:42,434
You... you stole those.
363
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,169
So?
364
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,536
Caleb can help me.
365
00:17:45,537 --> 00:17:47,805
Uh, Olaf says my training
is not complete.
366
00:17:47,806 --> 00:17:48,905
Fuck Olaf.
367
00:17:48,906 --> 00:17:50,774
You know what your problem is?
368
00:17:50,775 --> 00:17:53,743
All you Amish,
you got low self-esteem.
369
00:17:53,744 --> 00:17:57,147
We are humble
in the eyes of God, Mr. Fitz.
370
00:17:57,148 --> 00:17:59,984
You wanna win, Caleb?
You wanna be number one?
371
00:17:59,985 --> 00:18:02,286
You gotta believe in yourself.
Christ, Sonja,
372
00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:04,587
how many times did I tell you to
believe in yourself?
373
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:06,155
Whenever you wanted oral.
374
00:18:06,156 --> 00:18:07,656
Every day.
375
00:18:07,657 --> 00:18:09,225
Oral?
376
00:18:09,226 --> 00:18:10,426
I'll... explain later.
377
00:18:10,427 --> 00:18:12,862
Much later. Never.
378
00:18:12,863 --> 00:18:16,265
Caleb, are you awesome?
379
00:18:16,266 --> 00:18:17,900
I believe I am.
380
00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:19,635
Then say it.
381
00:18:19,636 --> 00:18:21,336
I am... awesome.
382
00:18:21,337 --> 00:18:23,138
Say it like you fucking mean it!
383
00:18:23,139 --> 00:18:24,606
I'm fucking awesome!
384
00:18:24,607 --> 00:18:27,742
Yeah! Fix that buggy!
385
00:18:35,851 --> 00:18:38,486
It is indeed a fine buggy,
Sonja. Many thanks.
386
00:18:44,026 --> 00:18:46,593
Do you know what this means?
387
00:18:46,594 --> 00:18:49,263
Every farm has an old wreck.
388
00:18:49,264 --> 00:18:52,132
I can buy them;
Caleb can rebuild them...
389
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,501
You're gonna start your own thing?
390
00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:57,404
Is that so hard to believe?
391
00:18:57,405 --> 00:19:00,606
I'm actually quite capable,
not that you would know.
392
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,343
I know you're capable...
and not just sexually.
393
00:19:03,344 --> 00:19:05,045
Who am I kidding?
394
00:19:05,046 --> 00:19:07,647
Nobody listens to me here, either...
395
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,082
especially Olaf.
396
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:13,085
All they do is make fun of my
high cheek bones,
397
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:14,586
and narrow hips.
398
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,455
Ah, these backwood fucks
399
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,190
wouldn't know a good
business opportunity
400
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,758
if it buried its face in your tits.
401
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,994
Thank you... I think.
402
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:26,397
There's a reason I came to find you,
403
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:30,634
and not just to clear my name.
404
00:19:30,635 --> 00:19:32,736
Have you ever wondered
if a decision you made
405
00:19:32,737 --> 00:19:36,607
was the biggest mistake of your life?
406
00:19:50,854 --> 00:19:54,157
Could someone please start?
407
00:19:54,158 --> 00:19:56,892
I believe you must kiss one of us.
408
00:20:01,431 --> 00:20:05,401
No offence.
409
00:20:05,402 --> 00:20:07,470
Oh, none taken.
410
00:20:09,639 --> 00:20:12,507
Oh... uh...
411
00:20:12,508 --> 00:20:14,209
I'm confused by the mechanics.
412
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,978
Should my hands be on you,
413
00:20:16,979 --> 00:20:19,747
or reaching around, to my cousin?
414
00:20:19,748 --> 00:20:24,385
Well, you hands-- Oh! --they may
wander wherever they like.
415
00:20:24,386 --> 00:20:26,621
Then I apologize in advance
416
00:20:26,622 --> 00:20:28,888
if they are to grab where
they're not supposed to.
417
00:20:28,889 --> 00:20:31,125
Don't apologize.
It is okay.
418
00:20:35,163 --> 00:20:37,231
(Giggling and moaning)
419
00:20:44,005 --> 00:20:47,140
Hey! You didn't even notice
I was gone!
420
00:20:47,141 --> 00:20:49,208
Fuck, man.
421
00:20:58,185 --> 00:20:59,918
Richard?
Richard, it's Friday.
422
00:20:59,919 --> 00:21:02,621
Time to clear your name.
423
00:21:02,622 --> 00:21:04,022
Oh... Richard...
424
00:21:04,023 --> 00:21:05,957
What?
425
00:21:05,958 --> 00:21:09,661
Sonja... the whole point
in staying here
426
00:21:09,662 --> 00:21:13,031
was to learn a little lesson in
humility from the Amish.
427
00:21:13,032 --> 00:21:15,333
You've done nothing to make
amends with Sonja.
428
00:21:15,334 --> 00:21:16,367
I'd argue that.
429
00:21:16,368 --> 00:21:18,702
All you did was
manipulate her into sex.
430
00:21:18,703 --> 00:21:21,639
I am my own person,
thank you very much.
431
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,342
Sonja... is this true?
432
00:21:25,343 --> 00:21:28,879
I am a strong, independent woman,
433
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,815
and I can make my own choices,
434
00:21:31,816 --> 00:21:34,384
even if that means sleeping
with an ex-boyfriend,
435
00:21:34,385 --> 00:21:37,287
while my fianc?...
436
00:21:37,288 --> 00:21:39,556
Oh, my God.
What have I done?
437
00:21:39,557 --> 00:21:44,527
Olaf, please forgive me.
438
00:21:44,528 --> 00:21:47,897
Everything you touch, you corrupt.
439
00:21:47,898 --> 00:21:52,767
I have just received word...
Edith has crashed her buggy.
440
00:21:52,768 --> 00:21:55,970
She's lucky to still be alive.
441
00:21:55,971 --> 00:21:57,639
A condition which you
shall soon not share.
442
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,610
Jesus, speak fucking English,
chinstrap.
443
00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:04,412
It's time to end this.
444
00:22:04,413 --> 00:22:08,583
I am the archangel of justice,
and I have come to smite thee.
445
00:22:08,584 --> 00:22:11,586
You tried to kill me before.
446
00:22:11,587 --> 00:22:13,821
You tried to kill all of us.
447
00:22:13,822 --> 00:22:16,890
Nope, just you, Fitzy.
448
00:22:16,891 --> 00:22:18,926
You held us all hostage,
449
00:22:18,927 --> 00:22:21,862
and terrorized everyone I care about.
450
00:22:21,863 --> 00:22:26,166
How could you be so... so...
451
00:22:26,167 --> 00:22:27,735
so much like him?!
452
00:22:27,736 --> 00:22:29,737
I am nothing like him.
453
00:22:29,738 --> 00:22:32,439
While you were off,
testing your faith,
454
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,109
I learned things on my Rumspringa...
455
00:22:35,110 --> 00:22:38,577
with the Christian Patriot Militia.
456
00:22:38,578 --> 00:22:40,713
Shoot first...
457
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,314
Pray later.
458
00:22:42,315 --> 00:22:45,684
I've only got a couple of days
left, and when I die,
459
00:22:45,685 --> 00:22:47,686
it's not gonna be in this
pile of cow shit.
460
00:22:47,687 --> 00:22:50,456
If you want to kill him,
461
00:22:50,457 --> 00:22:54,092
you're gonna have to shoot me first.
462
00:22:54,093 --> 00:22:56,494
And me third!
463
00:22:58,430 --> 00:23:00,298
You...
464
00:23:00,299 --> 00:23:02,768
You would sacrifice yourself...
465
00:23:02,769 --> 00:23:03,769
for him?
466
00:23:03,770 --> 00:23:07,239
Deep down...
467
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,141
I know he's worth saving.
468
00:23:20,385 --> 00:23:24,088
It's time for you to go.
469
00:23:24,089 --> 00:23:26,622
Elders will deal with you.
470
00:23:28,893 --> 00:23:31,594
I'm alive.
I'm Amish, but alive.
471
00:23:31,595 --> 00:23:34,630
That's right. Sonja Lester.
472
00:23:34,631 --> 00:23:36,699
Thank you, goodbye.
473
00:23:38,468 --> 00:23:41,469
I just have to go to the police
station and file a report,
474
00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:43,238
but you'll be fine.
475
00:23:43,239 --> 00:23:46,041
I guess I'll do that on
"travel to the city day".
476
00:23:46,042 --> 00:23:50,179
Not today?
477
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:54,416
Once I thought it was
the plan... my plan...
478
00:23:54,417 --> 00:23:58,286
for us to be together,
get married, have kids...
479
00:23:58,287 --> 00:24:00,521
Whoa... Kids...
480
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:03,723
But, now I know it'll
never work between us.
481
00:24:03,724 --> 00:24:07,527
Because I don't have a future.
482
00:24:07,528 --> 00:24:10,197
That, and you're
a bit of a selfish dick.
483
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,501
I'm glad you're not dead.
484
00:24:15,502 --> 00:24:18,038
I'm glad you have Larry.
485
00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:19,839
He loves you as much as I do.
486
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,541
You're already leaving me. You
gotta kick me in the nuts too?
487
00:24:37,723 --> 00:24:39,123
What are you doing here?
488
00:24:39,124 --> 00:24:41,726
Sonja Lester just reported
herself alive.
489
00:24:41,727 --> 00:24:44,295
Richard Fitzpatrick's off the hook.
490
00:24:44,296 --> 00:24:47,498
And let me guess,
you're going to confess.
491
00:24:47,499 --> 00:24:52,302
Nope. But you probably will.
492
00:24:52,303 --> 00:24:54,839
Chester, you didn'tframe anyone.
493
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,708
I make my own decisions, and Idecided to plant the knife.
494
00:24:57,709 --> 00:25:00,077
Did you really thinkyou could stop me?
495
00:25:01,713 --> 00:25:04,248
Just remember...
496
00:25:04,249 --> 00:25:07,751
I'm the boss now.
497
00:25:13,156 --> 00:25:16,225
There must be something we can do,
498
00:25:16,226 --> 00:25:18,862
some action to ward off
your impending doom.
499
00:25:18,863 --> 00:25:20,864
We can't just give up, Richard.
500
00:25:23,834 --> 00:25:25,734
Which way?
501
00:25:30,207 --> 00:25:33,242
(Cheering)
502
00:25:33,243 --> 00:25:35,311
Definitely that way.
503
00:25:41,550 --> 00:25:43,518
Ladies, Richard Fitzpatrick.
504
00:25:43,519 --> 00:25:50,525
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
505
00:25:50,526 --> 00:25:54,296
Moon river
506
00:25:54,297 --> 00:25:57,532
Wider than a mile
507
00:25:57,533 --> 00:26:01,536
I'm crossing you in style
508
00:26:01,537 --> 00:26:06,240
Some day
509
00:26:06,241 --> 00:26:11,211
We're after the same
510
00:26:11,212 --> 00:26:16,115
Rainbow's end
511
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:19,920
Waitin' round the bend
512
00:26:19,921 --> 00:26:24,057
My huckleberry friend
513
00:26:24,058 --> 00:26:28,594
Moon river
514
00:26:28,595 --> 00:26:31,129
And me
515
00:26:31,130 --> 00:26:44,676
516
00:26:45,678 --> 00:26:49,246
Waitin' round the bend
517
00:26:49,247 --> 00:26:53,351
My huckleberry friend
518
00:26:53,352 --> 00:26:57,956
Moon river
519
00:26:57,957 --> 00:27:00,924
And me
520
00:27:00,974 --> 00:27:05,524
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