Original subtitles

It looks like we're gonna show a loss again this year.

Loss? What about the sales from Triboro Tech?

How many times can I show that one sale?

All my clients are wondering how to hide sales from the IRS.

You have the opposite problem.

Listen, Alan, I have some great things lined up for next year.

Citrus is rolling out its new national ad campaign.

I've seen the newest version of the ad, and, Alan, it's great.

This is the third year without any profits.

They'll be questioning whether we're running a tax evasion scheme.

Look, this shows the expenses for a Mr. Matt McGinley.

This shows the sales he produced.

Look, if I were you,

I would make some drastic changes internally before it's too late.

What are you suggesting?

If you take out all these expenses,

the company becomes profitable all of a sudden.

Fire Matt?

But, he's my national sales executive. He's my right-hand man.

I'm just an accountant, Hasmukh, not your Human Resources guy.

The numbers speak for themselves.

Hasmukh, you gotta do what's right for the business.

[theme music]

This whole Hyder situation is driving me crazy.

Why can't he just be honest?

It's just lies after lies.

How can I take him back?

All men lie. They are all the same.

He is what he is.

I wish I was more like you.

You can just settle.

Hasmukh. This house.

You don't have to travel from Paris to Greece to Spain, to Indonesia to be happy.

You're so lucky. My life is such a roller-coaster.

What do you mean "settle"? I don't settle.

No, no, no. I don't mean it that way.

You're in such a good spot in your life.

You know, so many people would kill to be in your situation.

Hasmukh's a really good husband,

and I don't like traveling.

Hasmukh!

Where you at?

[Hasmukh] I'm in the basement, Matt.

Whoa!

I had no idea we had so much space down here.

Kitchen, bathroom?

It's more space than my apartment.

You could make a great bachelor pad out of that place.

For those extra special nights, you know what I mean. Hmm.

Yeah, let's just hold off on the bachelor pad for now, Matt.

We're gonna need that extra space to store all these boxes.

[sighs] What are you doing hanging on to old expense reports?

I mean, you gotta let go, Hasmukh.

You're living in the past, you gotta be in the present, huh?

This is the present, huh.

This is this year's expenses.

-Oh. -Mmm.

Well, carry on then. Let me know if you need any help.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Look... I almost forgot why I came down here.

Um... I need to take a half day today.

Brazilian, 28, super hot.

Barely speaks English.

-Oh, hey Roli. -Hey.

[dog barks]

My career is going nowhere, Hasmukh.

Yesterday, Samantha teased me.

She said all I do is cook and clean all day.

What's she talking about? You hardly cook or clean.

She has no idea what I'm capable of.

She thinks she's some hotshot traveler.

All she is, is a glorified waitress in the air.

I'm gonna call that agent.

We can't afford an agent.

We're on a budget freeze till next year.

Stop running your family like you run your business, Hasmukh.

Did I even ask you for any money?

Something will come up.

I'm sure of it.

Well, let me tell you, Mr. Know-It-All, there are absolutely no initial fees.

The agent just takes 60 percent of what I earn.

Sixty percent?!

Yeah, and the rest is all mine. Maybe I'll earn more money than you.

How will that make you feel, huh?

Excuse me, aren't you the girl from the JJ Smooth video?

Yes, I am.

That's great! I love that video.

I hate to ask this, but do you think we can take a picture with you?

-With me? -Yeah, if it's not too much trouble.

Yeah, sure, anything for the fans.

[mutters] I wish Samantha was here to see this.

Uncle, can you take our picture?

Sure, fine. Let's get in there.

Okay, on the count of three. Here we go.

One, two. I got it. I got it. There you go.

[car alarm chirps]

Oh, go ahead, Hasmukh.

Ignore me too, like the rest of the world.

I don't want to get involved, Hyder.

I have too many things going on in my life right now.

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks since she talked to me.

What is a man to do?

Buy her some flowers or something.

I don't know. Let's not do this outside my office right now.

How many flowers can a man buy?

It's like she sucks the life out of them and sends them back.

You know, she's thinking of doing a restraining order on me.

She's not the only one thinking of doing that.

[typing on keyboard]

[giggles]

Roli.

Roli, can we close the laptop, please?

That's not the only thing she needs to close.

[snickers] What?

Everybody's thinking it. I'm just saying it.

God... My God.

Listen, guys, I have something I need to tell you.

Unfortunately, we are in a predicament.

As you can see, the expenses for our company

have increased exponentially over the past year.

-"Exponentially?" -[Hasmukh] Unfortunately, our sales

have not increased at the same rate.

We haven't signed a single new client in the past nine months.

Nine months? "Nine months".

Balan, Balan.

You don't have to write down everything that I say that comes out of my mouth.

-"Balan, don't write." -Balan, put the pen down, okay?

Put it down, put it down! Listen, Balan! Listen.

-Listening. Okay. -[Hasmukh] Yeah.

We have come to a road...

where there are two paths.

And now, I must decide which path we are to take.

It's like that poem by Robert Frost.

He has to make a decision on what road to take.

Smart and pretty. You should be in sales.

-Oh. -[Matt and Roli chuckle]

Right, before we start deciding on paths, can we decide on lunch?

-It's gonna take 45 minutes to get here. -No.

-My stomach is rumbling. -No. No.

I don't feel like eating pizza again.

-Maybe something spicy? -We should do the Olive Garden.

Already on it in three, two, one.

Delivery for Matt McGinny.

Yep. Man, these guys are good.

Hell yeah, Matt. That's what I'm talking about.

-[Roli] Thanks, Matt. -[Balan] Thank you.

Oh, don't thank me. Thank the company card.

Hey, can I put a tip on that, too?

-Yeah. -Great. Whatever you want.

-No, you don't get any. -Hey.

[Matt] Here, Roli, you can have some of mine.

-Got the special... -[Balan] This is not none.

The only reason why I agreed to see you is because JJ is such a good friend.

I can't meet everyone. There would be a line around the block.

I really appreciate this, sir.

I want you to know that this means the world to me, sir.

In our business, talent is only 20 percent.

The connection I can make for you... that is the other 80 percent.

You could be Sharukh Khan, yeah?

But without the right representation, you'd be dancing on the subway stations.

Yes, sir. You're right. I totally agree, sir.

[in Hindi] Yeah. This guy, what's his name...

[in English] Ranveer... Ranveer called last week.

I love Ranveer.

Yeah, he says, "I'm going to send you two actors."

Eh? And Salman, he wants to introduce his cousin, Shiraz.

I can barely take care of my clients right now.

Sir, there's so much demand for Indian actors now.

Look at every-- Every TV show has one Indian actor in it, so...

One sec.

Ah, Madhavan.

[inhales deeply] Hello, Maddy!

[in Hindi] How are you, son?

Eh, huh? Golf today? No, man.

[in English] I am in New York. I am meeting there back to back.

Yeah. Hey, listen, let me hit you up when I'm in Augusta next.

Ah, ciao.

Okay, take care. Ciao, baby. Love you long time.

Okay.

Was that Madhavan from Three Idiots?

[in Hindi] What an idiot.

[in English] He calls me every day.

Huh? The guy wants to play golf today.

I mean, these people don't understand that we have a life too, you know.

Anyways, let's get down to our business.

[in Hindi] So what have you brought for me today?

Headshots, resumes... What do you got?

[in English] Oh, okay.

Yeah, we have a lot of work to do. Okay?

Cheers!

It's so thoughtful to invite me over for a drink.

Of course, Sammy. You're practically family.

-Besides, today's a celebration. -Ooh! Celebration?

I have an agent now.

Bollywood 2 Hollywood, they're representing me.

They represent all these big stars, like Sharukh's step-brother

and Priyanka Chopra's third cousin, and Maddy, AKA, Madhavan!

Hmm, good for you Dimple. I knew you could do it.

-Thank you. -Oh by the way, I brought this for you.

It's not my best picture, but they insisted I be on the cover.

Oh, is this one of those internal magazines they have just for employees?

I wish. They have over a million copies on the airline. I'm so embarrassed.

[knocking on door]

-[doorbell rings] -Oh, my God. It's Hyder.

I'm going through the back door. You never saw me.

[Alan's voice] Hasmukh, you gotta do what's right for the business.

Hey, Matt. Please, come in, come in.

Sit down.

You okay, Hasmukh? You don't look good.

Yeah, yeah. Listen, Matt, uh...

I cannot say enough how...

You're valuable, Matt. You know that.

To this organization, to the people.

Well, that's real nice of you, Hasmukh. Thanks.

You're fired Matt.

[laughs] Fired from what?

Here.

You're like my family, Hasmukh. You can't do this to me.

I'm so sorry, Matt, but the business isn't going anywhere.

We haven't had any profit in the last three years.

Relax, Hasmukh.

You're letting all this stress get to you, you know?

Remember what I told you about letting go?

Huh?

You bottle everything up like a teenage girl

and then it breaks out into all these emotions.

I'm fine, I'm fine. It's Goldberg the accountant,

he said I have to let you go if I wanna make a profit.

-Goldberg? The accountant Goldberg? -Goldberg.

Yes, that's what I said, the accountant Goldberg!

Hasmukh, what's happened to you? We are in the business of sales!

How can you let an accountant run this company?

What happened to the Hasmukh I used to know, huh?

Remember that drive we took five years ago?

Visiting account after account.

Closing deal after deal.

We were a team, Hasmukh.

I don't know what to do, Matt.

-I'm torn. -I know.

Well, you're just a little stressed out. You should take a vacation.

We've only closed one deal so far, Matt. Triboro Tech.

So far, Hasmukh.

So far.

Profit is-- It's not a destination.

It's a journey.

And I think we both know...

it's the journey that counts, hmm?

I promise, Hasmukh.

I'll have a new client by the end of the week.

I got a couple deals I'm working on.

[stammers]

You're fired, Matt.

You're... You're-- I fired--

You're fired, Matt-- You--

When the moon hits your eye

Like a big old papaya--

Get out! Are you crazy?!

I just want to talk to you.

What is wrong with you?

-Please, listen, listen, listen! -[plays guitar]

Music, music--

Leave! Leave.

[Dimple] Hello.

Whoo!

How was your day? Did you fire Matt?

No.

I thought I did, but I didn't.

Oh. Well, maybe you can try again tomorrow.

-What's all this? -Oh. New head shots.

And new clothes for my auditions. The agent said I needed all this.

Let me tell you, this guy is legit. Maddy called him while I was with him.

Maddy? Who's Maddy?

R. Madhavan from Three Idiots.

All his friends call him Maddy. Get with the program, Hasmukh.

Look, I thought we had a conversation about spending money.

How much did all this cost?

Oh, my God. There you go, talking about expenses again.

Don't worry about it.

A doctor needs a stethoscope. An actor needs her tools. It's the same thing.

How much did this cost, Dimple?

Seven hundred and fifty for the headshots and $500 for the clothes.

But he gave my headshots to Karan Joher.

[cell phone rings]

Hello? Hi.

Yeah.

Yeah!

Yeah, sure!

Yes, I can come tomorrow.

Okay, thank you. Bye.

Bye!

He already got me a gig.

See? This is the kind of sales agent you need for your office.

If I had an extra $750, I'd have that sales person.

Hmm?

Good news.

I sent your pictures to an ad agency.

A pharmaceutical company has liked them.

They want to license it.

So, what about Karan Joher?

Um, yeah, I called him.

He hasn't finalized a story for his next film yet.

He wants to work on the costumes first.

Yeah, that's how he works, okay?

But don't worry about it. We'll get it done.

I know his driver's uncle very well,

personally, owes be a big favor. Don't worry.

So, do you think this is the right move for me?

I mean, billboard ads?

I want to be known as a serious actress.

Hey, hold on.

Listen, this billboard advertising is not a small thing, okay?

Yeah, Priyanka Chopra she did that before she got noticed.

Aishwarya, Preeti, Kajol, they've all done it.

It's not a small thing.

[man] Hey, what do you want?

I'll have a beer.

We have 100 beers. What kind?

What difference does it make? They all taste the same...

bitter just like the women.

[scoffs] Whoa.

What's got you feeling down?

Oh, you know how women get when they think you're trying to poison them.

She hasn't spoken to me in weeks.

You try to do something good for people and they only see the bad side.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you man.

-Sorry about that. -Thanks.

If it's not one thing its another.

So, what brings you here?

Job.

I gave it all I got for three years, but I think I'm gonna get fired.

Maybe it's my mistake. My boss thinks I spend too much money.

Oh, don't blame yourself, man.

It's the whole corporate system.

It's designed for you to fail.

You try to do something good for people, and they only see the bad side.

We're like the same.

So...

do you love this woman?

I mean, what's not to love about her?

She's a flight attendant.

Whoa, man, she's hot! You are a lucky man.

I would put a ring on this.

I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but she may find somebody...

more, you know... in her league.

Oh, like another flight attendant. Perhaps.

No, I wouldn't worry about the flight attendants.

I would worry about pilots.

You know, there is this one pilot she's always talking about.

Juan Carlos.

Juan Carlos.

This is a courtesy call for Samantha.

Is this Samantha?

[Samantha] Hello?

-Samantha. -Hyder?

Yes, it's your beloved Hyder.

I blocked your number for a reason. Don't call me again.

No, no, no. I-- Can I just come over tomorrow to talk?

I'm leaving to Spain tomorrow.

Spain? Who's the pilot on that flight?

Juan Carlos?

Juan Carlos.

-I can't believe him. I'm so over it. -I know!

It's terrible.

Hey, thanks for coming with me.

Besides, I think you need a little shopping spree after all that, right?

Yeah. Wait, isn't Urban Outfitters on Flatbush Avenue?

Yeah, technically, it is, but I know a shortcut.

Where are we?

You're fired.

Your position is terminated... Matt.

Hasmukh, got a second?

Matt, I was looking for you. Please, take a seat.

We have to talk. We have to talk... now.

Now, listen, Matt,

for the first time in my life,

I've been able to differentiate

between business matters and my own my personal feelings.

[both talking at once]

I have a new business prospect for us. A new client.

A new client?

They're in the office. Outside. Right now.

Right now? No, Matt, I'm not even dressed properly for a business meeting.

-I'm wearing peach, for God's sake. -You're dressed perfectly fine.

You're just gonna need to think outside the box on this one.

Rock and roll, Matt. Rock and roll.

Rock and roll!

So, yeah...

[quietly] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! What are you doing on that billboard?!

Is that your ad?

You look so pretty!

You look so amazing. I love it. It's like the best you've ever looked!

-I'm just gonna take the subway home. - Why?!

Dimple!

Gentlemen.

This is our CEO, Mr. Hasmukh Parikh.

-Hello, nice to meet you. -[man] Hello. Nice to meet you.

Welcome, nice to have you here. Please, take a seat.

-[man 1] Thank you. -[man 2] Thank you. Thank you.

[clears throat]

-You have a nice office. -[Hasmukh] Thank you very much.

So, uh... how are you guys going today?

-[man 1] Good, good. -[Hasmukh] First of all, thank you

for being here today. What was the name of your company again?

I am from Royal Indian Groceries.

I am doing part-time now. He'll be joining there too soon.

Good, good.

I'm not sure if Matt has told you about our company.

We are Sree Ganesh Computer Technologies, Limited.

And we're founded five years ago.

We're a software support company.

We specialize in Citrus software and are the leading provider in the country.

As you can imagine, we have an excellent relationship with Citrus

and have faster implementation rates, more than anyone in the nation.

Hasmukh, they like the company,

but they're interested in a slightly different capacity.

Um, they want to rent the space in the basement.

Rent? What?

Yes, rent... and deposit.

This is agreement, signed.

Gentlemen, just give us one minute, okay? I'll be right back.

Okay. Step outside, Matt, for a second, please.

-[Matt] One second, guys. -Yeah, one second. Be right back.

Matt, please update me as to what is going on.

They're paying $1600 for the basement.

I'll reduce my 20 percent commission, that's still $1200 a month.

Plus, I already cleaned out the basement yesterday,

-to take that headache away from you. -We are a software company,

not an apartment complex, for God's sake.

We are in the business of Citrus sales.

We have principles.

What they are paying is over three units of Citrus sales.

Coming in every month, guaranteed.

Now, Citrus don't sell like that.

-Twelve hundred a month. -Yeah.

You have to do what's best for the company.

Hmm...

[mariachi band plays]

[man sings in Spanish]

Gentlemen, enjoy the apartment.

-Pleasure doing business with you. -Thank you.

Thank you.

Made my quota.

We're cool now. Right?

Yes.

-Hi, Papji. -Hello, Beta.

Hey that's my brand. Do you get discounts?

[theme music]

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