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1
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,767
My column, my column,
my column...
2
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:25,534
(LAUGHS) My column.
3
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,901
"Is it just me?"
4
00:00:26,968 --> 00:00:28,100
By...
5
00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:29,701
"Cory Matthews."
Do I have to?
6
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,400
Enjoy.
7
00:00:31,467 --> 00:00:36,467
"Is it just me,
or does paste just not taste as good as it used to?
8
00:00:36,534 --> 00:00:40,501
"Is it just me, or is
Homer Simpson getting a little too old to be on the show?"
9
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:44,701
(LAUGHS)
Isn't that so true?
10
00:00:44,767 --> 00:00:48,400
Cory, I know you really
believe in your little humor column, but, uh...
11
00:00:48,467 --> 00:00:51,868
Don't you think you should
be writing about something a little more important,
12
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:55,801
like the girls' swim team
and why they don't wear high heels?
13
00:00:55,868 --> 00:00:59,234
So, Debbie, Gary took
you to Le Chardonnay? It's really expensive.
14
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,901
Yeah, I know.
It was great.
15
00:01:01,968 --> 00:01:05,300
We were talking and laughing
and having such a great time and then...
16
00:01:05,367 --> 00:01:06,434
At the end of the night...
17
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:07,834
Parked two blocks
from my house...
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,000
Octopus time.
19
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,100
Hey!
20
00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:13,968
Had a nice night
the other night. (LAUGHS)
21
00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:17,567
All over me.
22
00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:20,200
What happened
to the nice guy I had dinner with?
23
00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:23,534
It's like,
the night's almost over, so he's all over me?
24
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:26,467
(SIGHS) Why are guys
such jerks on dates?
25
00:01:26,534 --> 00:01:28,300
Not all guys, Debbie.
26
00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:30,601
"Not all guys, Debbie."
27
00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:33,033
Is it just me,
or should you not be proud of that?
28
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:34,400
Oh.
29
00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:36,601
After a night of
fighting them off, it's like...
30
00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:40,234
I don't know whether
I want to go out on dates anymore, you know?
31
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:44,133
Rather spend my time
at the library. It's that pathetic.
32
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,133
It's too bad guys
and girls have such a different idea
33
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,801
about what a date
is supposed to be.
34
00:01:47,868 --> 00:01:50,501
Yeah. What goes on
in their heads?
35
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:53,300
Want to find out?
There's two of them.
36
00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:55,200
Hey, what goes on
in your heads?
37
00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:58,400
Topanga. 24 hours a day,
it's the Topanga channel in here.
38
00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,868
Aw, who's a good boy?
39
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,834
Debbie, don't you think
that guys and girls
40
00:02:06,901 --> 00:02:08,868
are looking for
the same things on dates?
41
00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:13,300
Well, girls are
looking for an evening of good conversation
42
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,701
and, you know,
the sense that you've made
43
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,167
a genuine
connection with another human being.
44
00:02:18,234 --> 00:02:19,868
You're not interested
in making out?
45
00:02:19,934 --> 00:02:21,334
Well, maybe I am
and maybe I'm not,
46
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,167
but it shouldn't be
expected because I went on a date with you.
47
00:02:24,234 --> 00:02:26,334
So, how are we supposed
to know what's okay?
48
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,968
We'll let you know.
You don't let us know very clearly.
49
00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:31,167
Yes, we do.
You just don't listen.
50
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,801
You're too busy
planning your next move to hear us say no.
51
00:02:34,501 --> 00:02:36,934
What?
52
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,634
You see, this is why
I write my funny column.
53
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,767
To take us away
from the drudgery of interesting conversation.
54
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:45,067
Yeah, but you should be
writing about something that affects people.
55
00:02:45,133 --> 00:02:46,434
Yeah. Why don't you write
your column about
56
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:48,767
why guys are such
big jerks on dates?
57
00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:51,234
Debbie, if you really feel
that all guys want to do is go too far,
58
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,701
then why go out
with them at all?
59
00:02:54,868 --> 00:02:56,567
You're right.
I'm done.
60
00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:59,100
Way to be sensitive, Shawn.
61
00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:01,167
Yeah. Yeah, it really
pays to be honest with a girl.
62
00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:04,267
Is it just me?
63
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,534
Or is it just me?
64
00:03:09,367 --> 00:03:12,601
To research his book,
Black Like Me,
65
00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:17,167
author John Griffin,
a white man, had his skin pigment
66
00:03:17,234 --> 00:03:21,400
temporarily darkened,
so that he could experience life
67
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:24,234
through the perspective
of a black man.
68
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,567
Wouldn't it
have been easier to just ask?
69
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:35,968
Well, there was such
distrust between the races
70
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:39,267
that Griffin felt that
only by becoming black
71
00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:43,734
could he begin to understand
the horrors of segregation.
72
00:03:43,801 --> 00:03:46,634
Cory, that's
your next story. What?
73
00:03:46,701 --> 00:03:48,400
To understand what girls
are talking about,
74
00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:50,868
you experience the world
from a girl's point of view...
75
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,300
...by becoming a girl.
76
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,667
That's crazy talk.
77
00:03:58,734 --> 00:04:01,534
No, no, no.
You dress up like a girl and write about it.
78
00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:02,634
Chick Like Me.
79
00:04:04,868 --> 00:04:07,467
That's meaningful.
You're writing a real article,
80
00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:09,734
not just some
silly column.
81
00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:11,434
It is not
a silly column.
82
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,200
Yes, it is.
83
00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:17,834
Ok, Mr. Feeny. What
happened to this guy Griffin after he wrote his book?
84
00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:23,000
He sold five million copies
and won immediate world renown.
85
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,734
Why do you ask,
Mr. Matthews?
86
00:04:24,801 --> 00:04:26,300
Miss Matthews.
87
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,334
What?
88
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,400
Nothing.
89
00:04:32,601 --> 00:04:34,734
This is the dome 2000.
90
00:04:34,801 --> 00:04:37,434
When you get to the top
of the mountain and that wind starts to blowin',
91
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:40,000
you'll be real
glad you got this over your head.
92
00:04:40,067 --> 00:04:42,601
I'll remember who
sold it to me, too. I hope you do.
93
00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:45,567
That way, you can remember
me for all your future wilderness needs.
94
00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:50,400
Listen, um... I imagine you
probably get this a lot,
95
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:52,334
but you seem awfully nice.
96
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,334
You want to go get
a cup of coffee sometime?
97
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,934
You seem mighty
nice, too, but...
98
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,534
I'm not much
of a coffee drinker.
99
00:04:58,601 --> 00:04:59,868
Oh, that's okay.
100
00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:01,601
We could do
something else.
101
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:05,200
Anything. That would be great.
102
00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:06,767
Why don't you come
over to my place,
103
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:09,834
and I'll cook you
a big ol' dinner. How about tonight?
104
00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:12,534
Really?
That would be... Wow.
105
00:05:12,601 --> 00:05:16,601
Oh, great. And after
dinner, that's when the real fun starts.
106
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:18,467
I'm always up
for a little fun.
107
00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:20,834
Good, because we rub oil
all over our bodies... I like that.
108
00:05:20,901 --> 00:05:22,734
Go jumpin'
in the cold river...
109
00:05:22,801 --> 00:05:24,767
What?
And go eel grabbin'.
110
00:05:24,834 --> 00:05:26,868
What?
It's fun, great fun.
111
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:29,868
And for the eels, too,
unless their heads break off.
112
00:05:30,968 --> 00:05:32,634
So, uh, what time tonight?
113
00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:35,534
Uh, tonight...
Tonight's really not good for me.
114
00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:38,968
I've got another
appointment which doesn't actually involve eels.
115
00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:41,167
Oh, come on, Dave.
Where's your sense of adventure?
116
00:05:41,234 --> 00:05:43,200
You know, I'll just
take the tent.
117
00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:45,133
Oh!
118
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:50,000
In fact, you keep
the tent, and what I'm gonna do is leave.
119
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:54,133
Wait. Well,
I was just trying to be friendly.
120
00:05:58,601 --> 00:06:00,367
Eric, is there something
the matter with me?
121
00:06:01,767 --> 00:06:03,400
Eric, is there something
the matter with me?
122
00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:05,934
I'm lookin'.
123
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,400
No. I mean,
why am I always scaring boys off?
124
00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:11,767
Well, Lonnie,
you don't have a lot of
125
00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:13,701
social experience
with men, do you?
126
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,934
No, not city men.
127
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,133
Didn't you date
any guys back there in the mountains?
128
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,601
Oh, sure. We'd go
out in the woods and shoot things.
129
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,868
Oh, so you like hunting?
All right. Well, here's a question for you.
130
00:06:25,934 --> 00:06:28,501
When you see a cute
little fuzzy animal that you like,
131
00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:30,634
that you know
you like to shoot,
132
00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:32,367
do you go
running up to it,
133
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,133
yelling and waving
your rifle in the air?
134
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,434
Well, no.
And why not?
135
00:06:36,501 --> 00:06:39,734
'Cause it will scare
the little critter off.
136
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:45,100
Oh. Oh, so you're
saying my behavior is scaring these city men.
137
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:46,601
(SOFTLY) Just a smidge.
138
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:50,667
I have to learn how
to hunt and track these boys.
139
00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:52,167
Mmm-hmm.
140
00:06:52,234 --> 00:06:54,868
Well, I'm gonna need
a city man to practice on.
141
00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,167
(LAUGHS)
142
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,968
Hey, guys.
Hi, Son. How was your day?
143
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,334
CORY: Fine.
What'd you do in school?
144
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,367
Nothing.
Hey, hold on. Wait there.
145
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,200
You know, every day,
I ask you what did you do,
146
00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:12,868
and every day,
you tell me nothing. Well, I'm tired of nothing.
147
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,534
I mean, we both know
something happened today,
148
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,067
and I want to
know what it is.
149
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,400
I decided
to be a girl.
150
00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,534
Well, you taught
me a very valuable lesson there, Son.
151
00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:30,634
You know the book
Black Like Me?
152
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,601
Sure. Is that what you guys
are reading in school?
153
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:35,000
Don't ask questions, honey.
154
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,634
Cory's gonna write
Chick Like Me for the school newspaper.
155
00:07:37,701 --> 00:07:41,501
He's gonna experience life
from a girl's point of view by dressing up like a girl.
156
00:07:45,501 --> 00:07:46,901
No, don't want you to.
157
00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:50,501
Oh, come on. I think it
would be a wonderful learning experience.
158
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,601
It could serve him well
for the rest of his life.
159
00:07:54,634 --> 00:07:55,934
What's in here, Cor...
160
00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:01,133
It's a miracle bra.
161
00:08:02,434 --> 00:08:04,968
It's a miracle bra,
honey. Get a camera.
162
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:09,367
Oh, I'm not dressing up like
a girl just for the sake of dressing up like a girl.
163
00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:11,100
I'm a journalist, dagnabbit.
164
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:15,033
Hi, Topanga.
Hi.
165
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:17,934
Shawn, I might've
been a bit protective of Debbie this morning,
166
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,968
and I didn't
fully consider your point of view.
167
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,901
I never knew I had
a point of view.
168
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,033
You know what, Topanga,
everything's worked out for the best
169
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:29,767
because I've decided
to be a girl and to see what it's really like.
170
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:32,634
Not in that dress,
you're not.
171
00:08:32,701 --> 00:08:35,934
Well, that's why
I was counting on your expert assistance
172
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:40,133
to help in selecting
the proper female accouterments.
173
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,834
You want me
to dress you up like a girl?
174
00:08:41,901 --> 00:08:44,067
Yeah, Topanga.
Make Cory pretty.
175
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,834
Cool.
176
00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:52,968
Cory? Sweetie,
you have to come out eventually.
177
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,400
CORY: Don't want to.
Second thoughts.
178
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:57,400
Come on out.
We won't laugh.
179
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,100
You're not seeing
what I'm seeing.
180
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,534
Hey, Cor,
come on, buddy.
181
00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:04,534
You're gonna write
an article that means something.
182
00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:06,667
You're gonna make
a difference, not only in our lives,
183
00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:09,701
but in the lives of
guys and girls everywhere.
184
00:09:09,767 --> 00:09:12,200
CORY: You're not seeing
what I'm seeing.
185
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:14,267
Come on, Cor.
How bad a girl could you be?
186
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,400
Okay, bad.
How bad?
187
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:26,534
Bad-bad.
188
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,033
I knew it.
I look...
189
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:32,734
I look fat.
190
00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,300
Fat is the least
of your problems, baby.
191
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,000
Topanga...
192
00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:42,968
Maybe it's just not
a good color for you.
193
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:47,601
(EXCLAIMS)
194
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:50,501
Come on, you guys.
We can do this. It's just all how you present yourself.
195
00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:52,767
Now, Cory, let's see how
you present yourself.
196
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,834
Okay.
197
00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:55,567
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
198
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:05,834
Was that all right?
199
00:10:05,901 --> 00:10:07,901
Not even on
a desert island.
200
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:10,400
Instructive, Shawn.
201
00:10:10,467 --> 00:10:12,934
Okay, look. Cor, you're
missing the obvious.
202
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,834
Girls just glide more.
They're more at ease.
203
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,868
You gotta
kind of let it flow.
204
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,400
That's pretty right
on the nose there, Shawn.
205
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:22,734
Yeah, well.
Girls are my area. I like girls.
206
00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:24,534
Ok, then
show me, Shawn. Show me.
207
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:25,701
What's to show? Here.
208
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,767
What?
209
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,934
Oh, no. No.
No, no, no.
210
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:54,601
Why is everybody staring?
What are they looking at?
211
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:57,000
Well, Shawn, I don't
want you to take this the wrong way,
212
00:10:57,067 --> 00:10:59,000
but you're
kind of a babe.
213
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,133
Really?
214
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:02,868
Yeah.
215
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,734
You want me to, like,
carry your books for you?
216
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,667
I get that?
Yeah, thanks.
217
00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:16,834
Why are you
carrying his books?
218
00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:19,367
We're trying to
create the illusion that Shawn's a girl,
219
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:21,234
so I thought
this would help.
220
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,167
You never
carry my books.
221
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:24,901
Well, look at him.
222
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,968
And look at you.
223
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:33,868
You are just radiant today.
224
00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:35,767
Shawn, how does
it feel to be wearing panty hose?
225
00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:37,133
Not Shawn.
226
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,367
You're right.
Yeah, he needs a girl's name.
227
00:11:38,434 --> 00:11:41,100
Ok, this is easy.
How about Janet?
228
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,934
No, no, no, not Janet.
229
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,767
What possible difference
could it make?
230
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,934
Cory! You've thought
about this before, haven't you?
231
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,200
A little.
232
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:50,667
And what name
have you thought about?
233
00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:52,734
Well...
234
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,367
Veronica.
235
00:11:58,033 --> 00:11:59,167
(MOUTHING)
236
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,300
Veronica is
a lovely name.
237
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:05,701
Good morning, Miss Lawrence.
Mr. Matthews. Mr. Hunter.
238
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,267
If there's anything
you need to talk about, my door is always open.
239
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:24,133
I'm not here to judge.
240
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,033
It's for an article
we're writing, Mr. Feeny.
241
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:28,000
I am not here to judge.
242
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,400
(EXHALES)
243
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:32,968
Okay, guys,
target's approaching.
244
00:12:33,734 --> 00:12:35,734
10 yards... Five yards...
245
00:12:35,801 --> 00:12:37,400
Guys.
246
00:12:37,467 --> 00:12:39,634
Hi, Gary.
Debbie said you two went out on Saturday.
247
00:12:39,701 --> 00:12:41,801
Yeah. I had
a nice time.
248
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:44,634
Hi there. Um...
249
00:12:44,701 --> 00:12:45,968
I'm Gary.
250
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:49,901
Gary, this is Veronica.
251
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:51,334
Veronica...
252
00:12:52,634 --> 00:12:53,968
...Wasboyski.
253
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:58,367
Hi.
254
00:12:58,434 --> 00:13:02,133
You know, I have never
seen you before. You new in school?
255
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,334
Yep. I'm just
a whole new person.
256
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:09,400
Listen, uh...
If you want,
257
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:13,200
I'd be happy to,
uh, you know, take you to Chubbie's,
258
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:16,000
tell you what
teachers to avoid, that kind of stuff.
259
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:17,667
Unless your boyfriend
already did that.
260
00:13:17,734 --> 00:13:21,067
Oh, no, Gary. This one
is definitely available.
261
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,934
Cory, I can
speak for myself.
262
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,300
Well, then you
just do that, Veronica.
263
00:13:30,367 --> 00:13:32,000
That'd be great.
264
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,033
So, Saturday,
is that good for both of you?
265
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,501
Saturday's
my date night. It still is.
266
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,167
Okay, Saturday.
267
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:42,767
(SOFTLY) I'll give
up a Saturday.
268
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,534
Well, I'll see you then.
269
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:48,801
Shawny, way to go.
270
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:50,501
You got the date.
271
00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:53,801
What?
I have nothing to wear.
272
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,868
All right, Lonnie. Now...
273
00:14:02,934 --> 00:14:04,133
Let's say
we're at a club.
274
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,467
Let's say
that I'm Dave,
275
00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,100
and I'm standing
here at the bar,
276
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:10,000
and you see me from
across the room, and you say to yourself...
277
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:12,501
I want that one.
278
00:14:12,567 --> 00:14:14,300
No, no, no, no.
Remember hunting?
279
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:16,167
Remember the boy bunnies?
You don't want to scare 'em away.
280
00:14:16,234 --> 00:14:17,901
There'll be nothing
left to hunt. Yeah, that's no fun.
281
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,234
No, it's not.
Here's what you gotta do.
282
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,133
You gotta approach me
without being detected.
283
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,767
You stand next to me,
but not close enough
284
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:32,501
to make me realize
that I'm your prey.
285
00:14:33,968 --> 00:14:35,000
Now turn to me.
286
00:14:35,901 --> 00:14:37,801
Make eye contact.
287
00:14:37,868 --> 00:14:38,934
Smile.
288
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:41,634
And then say...
289
00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,501
I want that one!
290
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,334
I admire your
single-mindedness, but no.
291
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,200
What guys really like
is a compliment.
292
00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:51,300
You give us
a great compliment,
293
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:52,334
we're yours for
the rest of your life.
294
00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:58,767
That is
the nicest shirt.
295
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:03,000
I'd love to get one just
like that for my brother Buck. Who makes that?
296
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,167
Some shirt guy.
297
00:15:04,234 --> 00:15:05,901
Can I look?
298
00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:08,234
Oh, I can't seem
to find the label.
299
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,133
Is it someplace else?
300
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,868
Could be anywhere.
I wouldn't stop looking.
301
00:15:14,567 --> 00:15:17,801
Oh, you know
what I'm doin'?
302
00:15:17,868 --> 00:15:19,367
Just what God intended?
303
00:15:20,534 --> 00:15:22,634
No. I'm bein'
too friendly again,
304
00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:25,634
and you were just
about to tell me that, weren't you?
305
00:15:25,701 --> 00:15:28,534
Yeah, I was
gonna get to that eventually.
306
00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:30,300
You know, I never
would've thought that bein' friendly
307
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,734
could drive people away.
308
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,601
But I guess friendliness
is just different between men and women.
309
00:15:37,334 --> 00:15:39,501
Yeah, I guess it is.
310
00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:41,033
So, you know what
I'm gonna do?
311
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,133
I'm gonna step back
a respectable distance here,
312
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,367
and I'm just
gonna say hello.
313
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:49,534
Hello. My name
is Lonnie Boden,
314
00:15:49,601 --> 00:15:54,467
and I will do whatever I can
not to physically invade your personal space.
315
00:15:54,534 --> 00:15:57,467
Perhaps we can
discuss our career goals over a Grape Nehi.
316
00:15:57,534 --> 00:15:59,367
(LAUGHS) What have I done?
317
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,067
This has been
a terrific evening,
318
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,367
and you are
just great.
319
00:16:10,434 --> 00:16:12,501
And so I'm wonderin',
320
00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:16,000
how is it that someone
like you doesn't have a boyfriend?
321
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:19,067
(STUTTERS) I haven't
really been looking for a boyfriend,
322
00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:22,601
'cause I just been
going through a lot of changes.
323
00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:26,000
Listen, any time
you want to talk,
324
00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:27,133
I'm here to listen.
325
00:16:28,601 --> 00:16:31,067
Thanks. That's...
That's nice, Gary.
326
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,868
I gotta have
some food.
327
00:16:34,934 --> 00:16:37,868
Oh, you got it.
Waitress!
328
00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:44,901
(HUSKY VOICE)
How ya doin', honey?
329
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:49,200
Cory?
330
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:52,701
I'm Cora. I'll be your
waitress this evening.
331
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:54,334
You know,
I come in here a lot,
332
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,267
and I've never
seen you before.
333
00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:57,534
Quit hitting on me.
334
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:04,133
I'm just kidding.
It's my first night.
335
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,667
Besides, it looks like
you're already taken, cutie.
336
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,801
You're insane.
337
00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:12,000
May I take
your order, baby?
338
00:17:12,634 --> 00:17:14,534
My usual.
339
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:19,734
A double chiliburger
and one chocolate milk shake and two straws.
340
00:17:19,801 --> 00:17:21,834
I'll have the same
and a steak.
341
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,767
What?
342
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,868
Well, aren't you
the voracious little eater.
343
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:30,100
(MOUTHING)
344
00:17:34,167 --> 00:17:36,100
So, you having
a good time?
345
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,267
A little trouble breathing.
346
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:40,834
You're crowding me a bit.
347
00:17:40,901 --> 00:17:42,934
Oh, maybe
you're just tense.
348
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,267
How about I rub
your shoulders?
349
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:47,167
You know, I didn't
ask you to do that.
350
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,601
Yeah, but doesn't
it feel good?
351
00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:51,767
You're not
listening to me.
352
00:17:51,834 --> 00:17:53,868
Whoa, you're
a strong one.
353
00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:56,868
Yeah, I play a little
field hockey.
354
00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,300
Yeah, I knew that,
355
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,067
because the
first thing I noticed were your legs.
356
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:02,100
Aah!
What's the matter?
357
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:03,834
You just don't listen.
358
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:06,534
You're too busy
planning your next move to hear us say no.
359
00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:08,801
What?
360
00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:13,767
Hey, where you going?
He touched me.
361
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:15,667
Where?
On my knee.
362
00:18:15,734 --> 00:18:18,033
It's my knee.
What makes him think that it's his knee?
363
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,334
Maybe you sent
him a signal.
364
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,501
The only signal
I sent him was "stop it."
365
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:23,767
And he didn't listen.
I'm not like that.
366
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:26,968
I'm not.
367
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:28,100
I never
will be again.
368
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,701
Okay, well, here he comes.
No, no. I quit.
369
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:32,067
You can't. We have
an article to finish.
370
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,801
I should've worn
a pantsuit.
371
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:40,234
Look, uh, sorry I got
a little aggressive.
372
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,100
Nobody respects women
more than me.
373
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,567
You forgive me?
Of course she forgives you.
374
00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:48,133
You two are just
adorable together.
375
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,000
Isn't he just delish?
376
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:53,300
Tell you what.
How about I teach you how to play foosball?
377
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,868
How about I teach you?
378
00:18:58,234 --> 00:18:59,634
Yeah, right.
379
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,701
My hosiery
is bunching.
380
00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:10,801
Now, uh,
what you need to do
381
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:13,000
is you want to
spin that handle,
382
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:16,200
and you want to make
this little guy kick the ball.
383
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,033
Like this?
384
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,601
Yeah. Kind of like that.
385
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,234
I can go
a little easier if you want.
386
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,767
Just take your next shot.
387
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,801
Oh, nice block.
388
00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:33,534
Oh, you liked that?
Let me show you how I did it.
389
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,834
Now, what you
need to have
390
00:19:40,901 --> 00:19:42,801
is a real light touch.
391
00:19:42,868 --> 00:19:44,367
Hey, hey.
392
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,567
Hey, what?
393
00:19:46,634 --> 00:19:48,667
What is wrong with you?
394
00:19:48,734 --> 00:19:51,033
I'm just showing you
how to play the game.
395
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,033
I know how
to play the game.
396
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:54,734
Yeah, I could
tell by the way you're dressed.
397
00:19:56,601 --> 00:19:58,267
I just wanted
to look nice.
398
00:19:59,133 --> 00:20:00,400
Well, you do.
399
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,367
I said don't touch me.
400
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,701
Okay, don't like
to be touched.
401
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:07,734
Did it ever occur to you
that I might be a nice girl?
402
00:20:07,801 --> 00:20:10,634
No. What I thought was
that you'd be into guys.
403
00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:12,968
Yeah, but,
I guess you're not. I guess you prefer girls.
404
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,234
As a matter of fact, I do.
405
00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:20,234
What?
I said, as a matter of fact...
406
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,400
(GRUNTS)
407
00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:22,801
...I do!
408
00:20:22,868 --> 00:20:25,267
What was that for?
For every girl I've ever known.
409
00:20:27,634 --> 00:20:30,300
Uh, please pay
at the register, honey.
410
00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:32,834
And tipping
is not a city in China.
411
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,400
Come on, honey,
we're out of here.
412
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:52,133
Gentlemen, it seems
the whole school is talking about it.
413
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,834
And if I do say so myself,
excellent article.
414
00:20:56,968 --> 00:20:58,400
Troubling photographs.
415
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:04,234
Cory, I am so proud of you.
The article is wonderful.
416
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,734
Well, I am
a journalist, dagnabbit.
417
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,434
Shawn, I wanted
to thank you for what you did.
418
00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:13,000
Hey, not necessary.
I learned a lot.
419
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:14,400
You did?
420
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:16,367
Yeah. In fact,
of all the guys around,
421
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:19,033
I'd say I'm the world's most
perfect date right now.
422
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,601
I'd say of all
the girls around,
423
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:22,501
I could probably use
a perfect date right now.
424
00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:25,868
So, what did
you have in mind?
425
00:21:25,934 --> 00:21:27,200
I don't know.
We could, uh,
426
00:21:27,267 --> 00:21:29,634
start with an evening
of good conversation.
427
00:21:29,701 --> 00:21:32,901
And a genuine connection
with another human being?
428
00:21:34,367 --> 00:21:36,033
Hey, I'm your boy.
429
00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:44,200
What's wrong?
430
00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:46,267
My hosiery
is still bunching.
431
00:21:46,317 --> 00:21:50,867
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