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1
00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:03,633
[MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,433
Hey, guys.
3
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,373
Mmm, collecting snails?
4
00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:10,273
Yeah, Mr. Feeny said
we can take 'em...
5
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,743
off his flowers
and use them for bait...
6
00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,245
for when we all go
fishing Sunday.
7
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,475
Fish don't eat snails.
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,716
Gee, I guess I was mistaken.
9
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:26,355
Well, whenever
you guys are ready...
10
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,452
the bass master here
is all set...
11
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,019
to pass on
to the younger generation...
12
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:32,395
some of the finer points
of spin casting.
13
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:35,697
Manipulating young
and impressionable minds.
14
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:38,000
I hope you're proud
of yourself, Mr. Feeny.
15
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,302
Indeed I am, Mr. Matthews.
16
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,240
Come on, guys.
17
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,210
Now, the main thing
to remember is...
18
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,609
that basically
it's a simple flick...
19
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,341
of the wrist.
You open the bail...
20
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,144
hold the line
with your finger...
21
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,912
and then it's 2:00, 10:00.
22
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,819
2:00, 10:00.
23
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,050
[CRASH]
24
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,955
Kind of a quarter
after 3:00 thing...
25
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,483
you got going
on there, Dad, huh?
26
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:04,497
May a, uh, fellow
angler try his luck?
27
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,998
Be my guest, George.
28
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,501
Thank you. Ha ha!
29
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,628
That fella out there.
30
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,038
[CLINK]
31
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,046
It's like getting
back on a bicycle.
32
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,547
One never forgets.
33
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,311
Mr. Feeny, you fish?
34
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:26,615
Oh, sure. I'm an old
bass hog from way back.
35
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:31,283
I'll never forget that
September morn, 1956.
36
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,453
I was after small-mouth bass
on the Louisiana Delta.
37
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:36,519
Sounds fascinating, George.
38
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,121
Spanish moss
hanging down...
39
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:41,157
and the cypress knees
jutting up...
40
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,396
through the brackish water
of the bayou.
41
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,064
Sounds fascinating,
George.
42
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,404
Dad, how come Eric's
not coming with us this year?
43
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,239
Well, your brother's
discovered girls.
44
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,370
He can't sit still.
When you're Eric's age...
45
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,346
and you can't sit still,
I'll take Morgan.
46
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:56,076
It's the endless cycle
of fishing.
47
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,414
And what about after Morgan?
48
00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,919
Well, then
I'll just be some guy...
49
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,480
in a fishing hat
with a lot of boring stories.
50
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:06,048
Did you just
scare yourself, Dad?
51
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,186
Whoa, yes, I think I did.
52
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,165
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
53
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:14,388
Hi. I'm Morgan,
and this is my brother Eric.
54
00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:15,725
He's very shy.
55
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,957
Ha ha ha. Good girl.
56
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:21,559
Eric, what are you
teaching her?
57
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:22,693
Nothing.
58
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:25,899
I get to help Eric
meet girls.
59
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,839
No, you don't. She doesn't.
60
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:28,898
You don't.
61
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:32,537
My brother thinks
you are so cute.
62
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:36,709
So this is why you've been
taking her to the mall.
63
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,014
- Well, I think it's great.
- You do?
64
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,542
- Mm-hmm.
- Ha ha ha.
65
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,987
I think it's a perfect way
for you and your sister...
66
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,718
to spend quality time
together.
67
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,817
Well, you know, some guys
use a golden retriever.
68
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:50,159
I figure, why not use
the weasel here?
69
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:54,190
[CAR HORN HONKS
"LA CUCARACHA"]
70
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,701
It's Grandma!
71
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,431
Hey, it's Grandma!
72
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,302
Yeah, it's Grandma.
73
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,307
OK, open up a lane.
74
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:02,603
I'm coming through.
75
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,481
I've been sitting on
my keister for ten hours...
76
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:18,513
in that Winnebago.
77
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,389
I need some stretching room.
78
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,394
Hey!
79
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,395
Grandma! Grandma!
80
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,657
Hey!
81
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,598
BoTH: Where's my present?
82
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,828
I thought this year
maybe you'd buy me one.
83
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,598
Nuh-uh.
You're the grandma.
84
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:33,606
I am? oh well,
in that case...
85
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,440
Uh-oh, what have we here?
86
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,444
A dolly.
87
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:40,776
Ha ha. Well,
it's a shrunken head.
88
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,949
Not a real one.
89
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,611
They don't sell real ones
in Tijuana.
90
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,415
Not for a buck.
91
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,944
That's a cool bullwhip,
Grandma.
92
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,354
Oh, yeah, and it's yours.
93
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,620
I had the wagon master
to go with it...
94
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:55,457
but he slipped out
of the cuffs in Juarez.
95
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,864
I know, I know.
I didn't call.
96
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:00,992
You never do, Bernice.
97
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,160
Well, it's not my style.
98
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,170
Hey, I got something
for you, too.
99
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:07,503
Yeah. Dried cactus.
It's from Albuquerque.
100
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,008
An old Navajo tradition.
101
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,510
Keeps you regular
as a diesel.
102
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,911
Thanks for preparing us
for middle age, Mom.
103
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,508
We'll think of you...
several times a day.
104
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,143
So, what brings you
to our neck of the woods?
105
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,177
Did your convoy swing through?
106
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,347
Yeah, yeah.
107
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,289
We made a killing
in bingo country...
108
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,951
so now we're heading out
to Palm Springs...
109
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,552
to buy ourselves
some new butts. Ha ha ha!
110
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,529
Grandma!
111
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,792
Kiddo!
112
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,459
Finally decided
to show your face, huh?
113
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,060
What'd they do,
let you out of detention early?
114
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:37,967
Yeah, well,
I heard "La Cucaracha"...
115
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,596
from all the way
down at the park.
116
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,106
How long are you staying?
117
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:42,938
Oh, just the weekend.
118
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,444
Speaking of which...
hey, you two kids...
119
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,412
cancel all your plans
for Saturday...
120
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,143
'cause, Morgan, you and I
are gonna go shopping.
121
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,844
We are gonna buy
so many new clothes...
122
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,580
you won't know
what to do with them all.
123
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:57,021
I'll wear them, then I'll
throw them on the floor.
124
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,048
Ha! Why not?
125
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,356
And then I thought we'd
take in the auto show.
126
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:04,090
I hear they got
some pretty hot babes...
127
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,155
sitting on the hoods
of those hotrods.
128
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,167
There's something
I might enjoy.
129
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,295
And Sunday, kiddo,
you and I...
130
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,865
we are gonna go get
this baseball card signed...
131
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,900
by the guy in the picture.
132
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,538
Cal Ripken?
133
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,048
This is Cal Ripken's
rookie card!
134
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,381
How'd you get this?
135
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,249
How'd I get it?
136
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:32,850
I shot a man in Reno
just to watch him die...
137
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:37,557
and then I pried that
out of his cold, dead fingers.
138
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,065
Or I bought it for seven bucks
at a swap meet.
139
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,658
You make the call.
140
00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,669
And we're gonna
get him to sign it?
141
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:45,193
Well, would you like that?
142
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,705
What are you, new?
143
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,230
- Hey!
- Hey!
144
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,649
Oh, man, that was
the best auto show ever.
145
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,174
They had Bernie Koppell
and Jamie Farr...
146
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,846
right up there
on the same stage.
147
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,151
Where else you gonna get that?
148
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,123
Hey, Cor, check it out.
149
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:08,059
I had the Lamborghini girl
sign my arm.
150
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,528
Lamborghini girl?
151
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,531
Eric, how can you
even compare...
152
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,193
the Lamborghini girl
to Cal Ripken?
153
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,363
Has the Lamborghini girl
played 1,900 straight games?
154
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,930
No, but has
Cal Ripken ever posed...
155
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,238
For the Victoria's Secret
catalogue?
156
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:26,973
Eric, I feel
we're growing apart.
157
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:30,278
Told her maybe we could take
a drive once I get my license.
158
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:35,254
She laughed,
but it was a flirty laugh.
159
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,382
Graziella Terziana.
160
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,188
I think she's French.
161
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,695
Boy, I'm bushed.
162
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,324
What, with chasing your sister
in and out of dressing rooms...
163
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,731
and chasing your brother away...
164
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,701
from those bikini models'
dressing rooms...
165
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,863
these dogs are barking.
166
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,634
You're not too tired
for tomorrow, are you?
167
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,698
Are you kidding?
You and me?
168
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:58,540
I wouldn't miss that
for the world.
169
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,552
Mr. Matthews,
just the man I wanted to see.
170
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,826
- Mr. Feeny?
- Let me ask you...
171
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:21,356
if one were entertaining
a young woman...
172
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,369
a young girl your age...
173
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:26,497
um, how would he
go about it?
174
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:29,906
Mr. Feeny,
you dating a teenage girl?
175
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,870
Not since
the Eisenhower administration.
176
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,884
No. My niece is visiting
for a few days.
177
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,751
She's your age.
She'll need to be entertained...
178
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,915
And I thought that maybe
you could help me out.
179
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:46,824
Look, I'd love to meet
your niece, Mr. Feeny,
180
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,455
But, see, I got this really bad
case of strep throat.
181
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,523
It's spreading down my lungs
and into my pancreas...
182
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:57,900
so, as you can see,
I'm... I'm completely strep.
183
00:08:57,937 --> 00:09:00,565
Relax.
I'm merely curious...
184
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:05,044
as to how a contemporary
teenage girl entertains herself.
185
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,808
Oh, oK. Well,
it's my experience...
186
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,815
that if they can't find
a senior with a car...
187
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,749
they'll settle for
some gullible sophomore...
188
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,514
who's willing
to empty his pockets...
189
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,111
on a dinner
he can't really afford...
190
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,588
a movie
he doesn't want to see...
191
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,784
and a door
slammed in his face.
192
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,794
Somewhere in that
brimming cup of bile...
193
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:23,762
I heard dinner and a movie.
194
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,230
Yeah, see,
dinner and a movie...
195
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,199
is the premier form
of dating entertainment.
196
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,825
Dinner, movie. Movie, dinner.
197
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:31,302
Dinner, dinner, movie, movie.
198
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:34,898
A wonderfully rich tapestry
of human experience.
199
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:38,138
Don't mock what I am,
Mr. Feeny.
200
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,539
Mom, where's Grandma?
201
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,380
We were supposed
to leave ten minutes ago...
202
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,249
and her Winnebago's
not even outside.
203
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,584
You know what, Cor?
204
00:09:48,621 --> 00:09:50,589
I was gonna bake
some blueberry muffins.
205
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,056
You want to help me?
206
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,354
- Bake?
- Mm-hmm.
207
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,883
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
208
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,055
There's nothing
I'd rather do more.
209
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,564
Oh, wait. I'm lying.
210
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,623
I'd rather go to Baltimore.
211
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,897
Well, how about just
until you leave?
212
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,996
Ohh... so how long
do you think...
213
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,973
I could go
without taking a shower...
214
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,134
before my arm gets
all gross disgusting?
215
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:14,044
Is this what's gonna happen
to me when my hormones kick in?
216
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,049
Yeah, like I don't have anything
else on my mind but girls.
217
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,280
Look, I got a lot of other
things on my mind besides girls.
218
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,753
A lot of other things.
There's, like...
219
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,552
Girl! Girl! Right there!
Right there!
220
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,558
Where?
221
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,890
It's Feeny's niece.
She's unbelievable.
222
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,485
I... I gotta think.
I gotta think.
223
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,396
I got to take her to a world
she's never been to before.
224
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,059
Dinner. Movie.
Movie. Dinner.
225
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,863
This has to be perfectly
orchestrated, or else...
226
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:36,891
Weasel!
227
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:45,300
OK, weasel, do you remember
what we've been practicing?
228
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,939
This is my brother Eric.
229
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,347
He's very shy.
230
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,441
Ha ha.
231
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,087
Perfect. Look,
in exactly one minute...
232
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,452
I want you to come outside...
233
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,751
and do what we've been doing
at the mall.
234
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,417
How will I know
when it's a minute?
235
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,888
OK? Minute, ding.
Minute, ding.
236
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,056
Minute, ding.
237
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,725
Movie, dinner.
Movie, dinner.
238
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,197
How you doing, Mr. Feeny?
239
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,170
How could I help you
in the garden today?
240
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,331
Oh.
241
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,073
Oh, hi. I'm Eric.
242
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,408
I'm Jessica.
243
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:22,073
Strep throat cleared up,
did it, Mr. Matthews?
244
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,707
Strep throat?
A guy like me?
245
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,741
No. See, I work out
much too hard...
246
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,616
to ever get strep throat.
247
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:29,349
So, uh, where would you
like me to move...
248
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,084
this enormously heavy bag
of fertilizer?
249
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,115
I hadn't planned
on moving it at all.
250
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:36,617
Let me just effortlessly
toss it over here, then.
251
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:37,755
Hoo-dah!
252
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,130
[BELL DINGS]
253
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:50,033
This is my brother Eric.
254
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,067
He's very shy.
255
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,274
Speaking of fertilizer.
256
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,316
Is this your little sister?
257
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,318
That she is.
258
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,820
I love Eric.
259
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,049
Oh, please. Jessica...
260
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,648
you couldn't possibly fall
for this line of...
261
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,058
She is so cute.
262
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,584
And so well-rehearsed.
263
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,592
Eric's taking me
to the carnival today.
264
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,123
When did I say that?
265
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:19,867
Ha ha. Looks like your parrot
has learned a few new words.
266
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,965
Do you want to come with us?
267
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:23,703
Oh, with us.
268
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,075
To the carnival with us, yes.
269
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,409
Please come With us.
270
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,610
Well, if that's oK with you,
Uncle George.
271
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,242
Well, I think
the polite thing...
272
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:36,244
would be to extend an invitation
for me to join you.
273
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:41,152
Mr. Feeny, would you like
to come to the carnival with us?
274
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,130
Oh, thank you so very
much for asking...
275
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:49,999
but no. I'd rather
have gum surgery.
276
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,674
OK, now, remember
to take those out...
277
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,703
in a couple minutes
so they don't stick.
278
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:05,013
Mom, I kind of got the hang
of it in the last four batches.
279
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,951
Is Grandma lost or What?
280
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,977
I don't know, Cor,
but, hey...
281
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,081
you know what?
I was gonna bake a cake next.
282
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,591
You want to help me out?
283
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,616
Look, Mom, I know
you're trying to do this...
284
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,026
to distract me and all...
285
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,689
but what if something
happened to Grandma?
286
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:18,754
Maybe we should call
the police.
287
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,266
- No, I don't think so.
- Why not?
288
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,292
Because I'm sure
that she's fine.
289
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,304
Then why isn't she here yet?
290
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,896
Honey, I've known
your grandmother...
291
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:29,100
for a long time,
and there's something...
292
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,905
you need to understand
about her.
293
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,275
I understand that
if Grandma's not here yet...
294
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,247
she must have
a very good reason.
295
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,082
She's not coming, is she?
296
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,522
I'm sorry, Cory.
297
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,054
I know this is disappointing.
298
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,624
Eh, it was just
a stupid road trip.
299
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,694
I mean, what kind of city
is Baltimore, anyway?
300
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,137
An American League city.
301
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:04,075
Hey, why don't you call Shawn?
See if he wants to go bowling.
302
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:06,738
- Cool. I'll drive.
- or I'll drive.
303
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,770
That could work, too.
304
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,283
I'll call my best bud Shawn...
305
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,842
the one guy I can count on
to be there.
306
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:16,980
Hi, Mrs. Hunter?
It's Cory. Shawn around?
307
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,491
What do you mean,
he's gone fishing?
308
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,959
Did you know your husband's
cheating on me...
309
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:24,121
with someone else's son?
310
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,757
You forgot to call Shawn.
311
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:29,029
Good-bye, Mrs. Hunter.
312
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,631
I forgot.
313
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,403
You didn't tell him you weren't
going on the fishing trip?
314
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,603
I forgot.
315
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,612
So he still showed up.
316
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,614
I guess he didn't forget.
317
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:45,276
Now he's out there
with my dad...
318
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,513
drinking root beer,
eating potato chips...
319
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:49,111
bonding away.
320
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:51,385
I miss one thing
with my dad...
321
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:55,520
and he drops me
for the first available son.
322
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,461
Where are you going?
323
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,294
I'll be in the tree house.
324
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,492
Hold my calls.
325
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:09,072
MORGAN: Eric is the best
brother in the whoLe worLd.
326
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,208
That's enough, Morgan.
327
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,874
That was so sweet of you to play
four hours of skeeball...
328
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,280
just to win her that giraffe.
329
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,080
3,000 tickets.
330
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:22,781
Eric's gonna give me
his new sunglasses.
331
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,187
No, he's not.
332
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,817
You know, you can really
tell a lot about a guy...
333
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,520
by the way
he treats his sister.
334
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,324
Oh, you mean these.
335
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,024
There you go.
336
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,859
Eric is such
a good-looking boy.
337
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,201
Yeah, thanks.
338
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,138
Are we all done for the day?
339
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,642
Yes, we're done. Bye-bye.
340
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,705
She's adorable.
341
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,340
She's not the only one.
342
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,443
Who's Graziella Terziana?
343
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,851
What?
344
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:58,084
Her name,
it's written on your arm.
345
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,955
Uh, that...
346
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:04,122
I can't stop every girl
who wants to sign my body.
347
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:05,323
Oh, Mr. Charming.
348
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,332
I could loan you a pen.
349
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:08,833
And smart, too,
350
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,894
Using his little sister
as date bait like that.
351
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,428
That obvious, huh?
352
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,031
Oh, yeah. Heh.
353
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:16,336
Big mistake?
354
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,433
Did I say that?
355
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,377
So I didn't have
to work so hard.
356
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,642
Who said you had
to work at all?
357
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:42,662
Nice night, huh?
358
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,169
Yeah.
359
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:47,263
Well, we're just,
uh, passing through.
360
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,365
Good. Pass.
361
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,408
Eric, the lipmaster.
362
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,115
Yeah. Sure.
363
00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,674
Look, anybody else,
or are we all done here?
364
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,017
Everyone have
a great day without me?
365
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,783
How long have you
been up there?
366
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,452
Long enough to watch you
swap spit with a Feeny.
367
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,390
Well, I'd say the mood
is sufficiently killed...
368
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,399
wouldn't you?
369
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,900
Dead and buried.
370
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,698
I think my little sister's
busy tomorrow...
371
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,671
so it looks like
it's just you and me.
372
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,263
I'll bring the pen.
373
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,706
Good night.
374
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,607
Everyone. Ha ha.
375
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,080
She's related to Feeny?
376
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,478
Niece.
377
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:33,951
Nice.
378
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,946
Nice? She's beautiful.
379
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,458
That's the most incredible girl
I ever kissed.
380
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:44,589
Which puts her at the top
of a list of what, two?
381
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:50,825
Look, making out
is not a spectator sport.
382
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,167
Ooh...
383
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,367
What are you doing back
from Baltimore so early?
384
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,004
- I didn't go to Baltimore.
- Why not?
385
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,344
'Cause I stayed here all day
'cause Grandma dumped me...
386
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:05,145
while my best friend was out
Stealing my dad.
387
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:08,153
Oh, grow up.
I wasn't stealing your father.
388
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:10,781
- Good night, Shawn.
- Night, Dad.
389
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,424
- So Grandma never showed, huh?
- Nah, she didn't.
390
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:16,428
You want to talk about it?
391
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,657
Doesn't really seem like
there's much to talk about.
392
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,461
Hoo, boy, are you wrong.
393
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,126
Where are you going?
394
00:18:22,168 --> 00:18:24,227
I'm hungry. Shawn ate
everything on the boat...
395
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,737
except the worms.
396
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,740
He usually likes those.
397
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:34,571
Uh, I can highly recommend
the muffins.
398
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,217
These are a little dry.
399
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:47,589
Great. I cook and I slave,
and this is the thanks I get.
400
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,651
You made these?
401
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,218
I didn't have
anything else to do...
402
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,752
'cause Grandma
didn't show up.
403
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,264
I've been there.
404
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,267
Wait a minute.
She did this to you?
405
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,769
Hey, pick a category.
You like sports?
406
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,771
Birthdays?
You like rocket ships?
407
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,796
I'll take rocket ships.
408
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,332
All right. Um...
one day my class...
409
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,810
was supposed to go
on this field trip
410
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,369
to the Franklin
Museum of Science...
411
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,438
to see
the "Man in Space" exhibit.
412
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,449
Cool.
413
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,816
Yeah, it would've been, except
that Grandma forgot to return...
414
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,754
the permission slip,
so I didn't get to go.
415
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,416
I been there.
416
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,654
Yeah, me, too, and I felt
just the way you're feeling now.
417
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,992
- Did you hate her?
- Well, no.
418
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,691
It's kind of hard
to hate her, Cory...
419
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,494
'cause a couple months later,
she woke me up...
420
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:29,296
in the middle of the night,
she bundles me up...
421
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,927
throws me in the Winnebago...
422
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,234
we drive for two days
and two nights.
423
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,534
Where'd she take you?
424
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:35,972
Cape Canaveral.
425
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,136
Mercury 3.
First American in space.
426
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,271
My classmates
are back in Philadelphia...
427
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,543
Looking at it on a little
black-and-white TV.
428
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:47,780
I'm there feeling the heat
from the rocket on my face.
429
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,050
Grandma took you all the way
to Cape Canaveral?
430
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,990
See, Grandma doesn't show love
like other people do...
431
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,959
but she loves you
no matter what you think.
432
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,394
She just shows love
in her own way.
433
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,126
And when she's with you,
she wants it to be so special...
434
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,758
that you'll always remember.
435
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,462
I always do remember.
436
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,969
Yeah, so do I.
437
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,494
When that rocket took off...
438
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,531
and the smile on my face
was a mile wide...
439
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,373
and all of America was
watching their little TV set...
440
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:17,075
I remember that my mother
was watching me.
441
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,516
[CAR HORN HONKS
"LA CUCARACHA"]
442
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,022
Guess who.
443
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,527
Hi, Mom.
444
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,585
Hi, Alan.
445
00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:31,425
You'll never change,
will you?
446
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,523
Would you want me to?
447
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,227
- Nope.
- Ha ha ha.
448
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,729
Hey, kiddo, look,
I know we were supposed...
449
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,170
to go to Baltimore today...
450
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,503
but you'll never believe
what came up.
451
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:42,802
It doesn't matter, Grandma.
452
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,309
Oh, sure it does.
453
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:45,833
I know you wanted
to take me.
454
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,140
I... I really did.
455
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,170
Did I tell you that
my Cal Ripken card...
456
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,614
is my favorite one?
457
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:51,809
It is?
458
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,876
Yeah, and his signature
might've messed it up...
459
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,479
just like that Lamborghini girl
messed up Eric's arm.
460
00:20:56,522 --> 00:21:00,356
The next time my convoy
swings by here...
461
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:03,384
you and I are gonna do
something really special.
462
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,158
I can't Wait.
463
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:08,166
Hi, Grandma, Cor.
Dad, I've been in my room...
464
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,599
For the last
twenty minutes, oK?
465
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,034
Alan, I would appreciate it...
466
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,336
if you kept your son
and his hormones...
467
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,501
inside the house...
468
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,977
at least until
my niece leaves.
469
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,843
Why, George,
what are you talking about?
470
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,178
Eric's been up
in his room for...
471
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:25,115
- Twenty...
- Minutes.
472
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,618
Excuse me.
473
00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,176
I will not be jerked around.
474
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:29,847
Oh, well, excuse me...
475
00:21:29,889 --> 00:21:31,948
but as the matriarch
of this family...
476
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,458
not to mention
a card-carrying member...
477
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,892
of the Kiwanis Club,
I can personally vouch...
478
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,555
for the fact
that this fine young man...
479
00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:39,791
has been up in his room
for the past twenty minutes.
480
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:43,461
And excuse me, Miss Kiwanis,
but how could you know that...
481
00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:47,165
when I just saw you pull up
in your Winnebago...
482
00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:50,698
and run over my mums
not forty seconds ago?
483
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,768
Who is this guy?
484
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,006
My teacher.
485
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,707
Does he give you
straight As?
486
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,478
- No.
- And why not?
487
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:01,281
Have you talked to the boy?
488
00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:04,751
OK, teach,
you just better kiss...
489
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:06,781
The rest of those mums goodbye.
490
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:09,056
Wait.
491
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:10,288
Who is that woman?
492
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,296
My grandma.
493
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,195
Don't you just love her?
494
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:15,462
No, I don't.
495
00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:19,931
Well, I do.
496
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:22,634
[HORN HONKS
"LA CUCARACHA"]
497
00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:32,413
Cal Ripken Jr.,
rookie year.
498
00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:35,579
I never thought I'd actually get
to hold one of these things.
499
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:39,557
My grandma picked it up at
the swap meet for seven bucks.
500
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:42,527
Seven bucks in dog years.
501
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:45,655
This baby's worth 150, easy.
502
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,928
- It is?
- Yeah.
503
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,162
Boy, your grandma
must really love you.
504
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,567
Yeah.
505
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:57,270
Or else she shot a man in Reno
just to watch him die.
506
00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:59,539
You're kidding... right?
507
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:01,478
I'm not sure????????????????????????????????????????????????
508
00:23:01,528 --> 00:23:06,078
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