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[MUSIC PLAYS]
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00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,543
I have graded last week's
geography examination...
3
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:15,707
and the highest score
was achieved by...
4
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,217
Minkus. Was it achieved
by Minkus?
5
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,119
Does it go to Minkus?
Minkus, right?
6
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,951
Mr. Minkus.
7
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,186
That's a shock.
8
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:27,386
Thank you, Mr. Feeny.
9
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:30,590
Your bonus question
was a real stumper. ow.
10
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,599
Miss owens, excellent.
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00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,101
Mr. Baker, very nice.
12
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,602
Mr. Matthews...
13
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,332
Well, there it is.
14
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,839
A "C"?
15
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,842
But I actually studied
for this test.
16
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,400
Why did I get a "C"?
17
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,935
Let's see. Where to begin.
18
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:49,744
Well, for one thing,
Mr. Matthews...
19
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,013
this section of the map
is not East Germany.
20
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,041
It's not?
21
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,383
Perhaps you heard
of a little incident...
22
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:55,888
with the Berlin Wall?
23
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,948
Was that during
baseball season?
24
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,426
There is no
East Germany anymore.
25
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,089
But the textbook says it's
right next to West Germany.
26
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:07,396
Yes, well, the textbook also
says that Alaska and Hawaii...
27
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:10,369
will make fine states someday.
28
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,871
Things change, Mr. Matthews.
29
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,873
Unfortunately,
the Board of Education...
30
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,569
doesn't have the funds
to keep up.
31
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,100
Then how am I
supposed to keep up?
32
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:21,114
Watch the news.
Pay attention in class.
33
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,740
Look at the mimeographs
I give you...
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00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,581
before you turn them
into paper airplanes.
35
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,587
Ow.
36
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:28,986
What good would it do?
37
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,081
They keep
changing geography.
38
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,456
Why can't it be
like all the other subjects?
39
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:36,929
Math...
2 plus 2 is always 4.
40
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:37,931
Uh, science...
41
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,661
the Earth always
goes around the Sun.
42
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:44,899
History... Lincoln always
gets shot in the head.
43
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,236
Lincoln got off easy.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
45
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All right, heads up.
46
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,738
In these last few
moments of class...
47
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I want to make
an announcement...
48
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:57,670
about this year's regional
geography tournament.
49
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,202
As some of you may know,
for the past five years...
50
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,909
I have always fielded
a champion...
51
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,713
and I expect to do
the same this year.
52
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:09,848
So, based on his outstanding
scholastic achievement...
53
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:13,485
I have selected
as this year's entrant...
54
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,553
Minkus. Have you
selected Minkus?
55
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,257
Mr. Minkus.
56
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,827
And this year's
first prize will be...
57
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,101
A Mercator projection
pull-down wall map?
58
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,369
No. Uh...
59
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:33,038
This year's winner
will be bat boy...
60
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,548
at the opening game
of the World Series.
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00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:36,640
Ohh.
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00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,617
Did you hear that?
63
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,744
Yeah. So?
64
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:42,346
So I'm seeing my
dream come true here.
65
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,879
Oh, right. Like Feeny's
going to take you...
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00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:44,982
to the geography tournament.
67
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,083
You didn't even know...
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00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,390
they tore down
the Berlitz Wall.
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00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,589
[BELL RINGS]
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00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,404
Uh... about this
geography tournament...
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00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,530
Yeah?
72
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,303
I think you're making
a mistake taking Minkus.
73
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,402
And upon what do you base
that bizarre theory?
74
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,505
Well, what's the most important
ingredient in winning?
75
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:09,879
Talent.
76
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,647
Skill.
77
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,654
I want you to stop
shaking your head.
78
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,418
The Will to Win.
79
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:20,551
That's what you need,
that's what I got.
80
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,562
This sudden interest
in geography...
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00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,029
wouldn't have
anything to do...
82
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,294
with this year's World
Series bat boy prize...
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00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,357
would it?
84
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,028
No. No way. Not even.
85
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:33,267
Are you kidding?
I'm doing this for you.
86
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:36,275
You're on a 5-year
winning streak...
87
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,210
and I want to bring
the big 6 home to you.
88
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,975
You're sucking up to me.
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00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,005
As hard as I can.
90
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,285
Well, thanks, Mr. Matthews.
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00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:49,777
Concern like yours
gives me full confidence.
92
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,051
In me?
93
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,558
In Minkus.
94
00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:53,923
It's Minkus.
95
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,588
I'm full of confidence
in Minkus!
96
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,034
Eric, can you babysit...
97
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,168
for your brother
and sister Friday night?
98
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,769
Nope. Sorry.
99
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,838
Oh, you misunderstood.
100
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,281
You thought I was
asking you a question.
101
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,114
Mom, Aerosmith's Friday.
102
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,949
Oh, you heard about
that concert, too?
103
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,615
Yup. I'm taking
Heather Ralston.
104
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,124
Great.
105
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,184
Oh, I'll call a sitter and
we'll all drive together.
106
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:32,096
What do you mean,
together?
107
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,191
I mean your dad and I
have tickets, too.
108
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,566
Morgan, have you seen
the broccoli?
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00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,661
Broccoli?
110
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,932
Broccoli?
111
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,064
Nope.
112
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,768
Mother... and when
I call you that...
113
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:44,868
I'm referring...
114
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,037
to the generational
chasm between us...
115
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,047
which means you couldn't
possibly be going...
116
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,173
to the same concert as me.
117
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,410
Why not?
118
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:51,747
Well, you know,
Aerosmith's kind of loud...
119
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:52,877
for someone your age, Mom.
120
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,318
You should really
be listening to...
121
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,514
Careful.
122
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:58,888
Aren't Peter, Paul, and Mary
blowing wind somewhere?
123
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:02,326
Mom, have you met
my good friend Minkus?
124
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,659
It's nice to meet you,
Minkus?
125
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,358
Call my mother.
126
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:06,365
What?
127
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,560
He's a little nervous,
Mrs. Matthews.
128
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,194
We're gonna take him
upstairs now.
129
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,364
27842...
130
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,566
it's the only Minkus
in the book.
131
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,414
What is this broccoli
doing in here?
132
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,973
It's hiding the liver.
133
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,824
I'm glad you could
come over, Minkus.
134
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,326
Real nice to be here.
Can I go now?
135
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:35,328
Chill.
136
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,829
I don't understand
what that means.
137
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:39,024
It means that 1 out of
every 4 people is a nerd.
138
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,089
So when you look
around this room...
139
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,499
and you don't see one,
you're it.
140
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,833
But we can help
you change.
141
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,236
Maybe I like how I am.
142
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,467
You like everyone always
making fun of you?
143
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,667
No.
144
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,335
You like always being the
last one picked for teams?
145
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,401
No.
146
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:52,638
You like everyone
pulling your underwear...
147
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,078
up your butt
all the time?
148
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:56,980
It's not so bad.
149
00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:02,379
Minkus, let us help you.
150
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,616
We're here for you, man.
151
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:04,681
It's early in the year.
152
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,453
You can still
change your image.
153
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,721
What do I do?
154
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,855
The geography tournament...
you don't want to do it.
155
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,330
It'll brand you for life.
156
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,832
But I love geography.
157
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:17,530
I'm drawn by the adventure
and exoticism of it.
158
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,539
Hey. Perhaps you fellows
would like to join...
159
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:24,031
the Future Cartographers
of America Club with me.
160
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,875
Let it go, man.
161
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,711
If I don't do the tournament,
will you guys like me?
162
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:30,943
No.
163
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,315
Then I don't see
what's in it for me.
164
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,183
All right, name your
price, you little creep.
165
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,744
When you guys play
Bombardment...
166
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,451
could you not aim the ball
at my head anymore?
167
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:39,753
Deal.
168
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,226
What's the point
of playing...
169
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,422
if we can't throw
the ball at his head?
170
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,231
Hi. Who's first?
171
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,858
Dad, you can't go to
the Aerosmith concert.
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00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,096
He's afraid it will
blow out our hearing aids.
173
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,229
I'm just saying
it's unnatural.
174
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,432
I mean can't you guys...
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00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,770
find your own
concert to go to?
176
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,207
I'm sorry
I couldn't get tickets...
177
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,766
for the Neil Sedaka-thon.
178
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,371
Get a clue! We've been
listening to Aerosmith...
179
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,880
since before you were born.
180
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,280
Oh, come on,
get out of here.
181
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,341
Don't kill my
first concert, oK?
182
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,683
This isn't your first
Aerosmith concert.
183
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,188
Madison Square Garden, 1978.
184
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,918
We were there,
you were here.
185
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,290
You ate him?
186
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,261
How old are these
Aerosmith guys, anyway...
187
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,786
like a million?
188
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,560
Yeah, our age.
189
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:20,861
Row C-C.
190
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,027
Read 'em and Weep.
191
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,435
That's the third row.
These are amazing.
192
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,440
Yeah. old guys
get good seats.
193
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:30,341
Maybe we can buy him
decent seats near us...
194
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,538
so he can at least
see the stage.
195
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,877
I don't want to sit
near you guys, oK?
196
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,973
I don't want to be in the
same amphitheater as you.
197
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,485
I don't even want to hear
the same group as you.
198
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,009
I'll go see if there
are any seats left...
199
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,989
for Eric Clapton.
200
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:44,991
[DOOR CLOSES]
201
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,220
You want to tell him?
202
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,198
[BELL RINGS]
203
00:08:56,770 --> 00:09:00,228
Mr. Feeny, I'm afraid I must
tender my resignation...
204
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,865
from the geography tournament.
205
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,069
Mr. Minkus, I'm aware
that the changing...
206
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,873
geopolitical face
of the globe...
207
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,675
offers
a difficult challenge.
208
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,875
I just don't feel that
the geography tournament...
209
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,474
fits in with my new image.
210
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:14,612
And what, pray tell,
would that image be?
211
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,384
Stuart Minkus, regular guy.
212
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,887
Mr. Minkus, I have
always thought of you...
213
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,225
as exceptional.
214
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:26,232
Now, why would you suddenly
settle for regular?
215
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:29,064
Read average,
read mediocre.
216
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,569
Because exceptional people...
217
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,572
get Bombardment balls
thrown at their heads.
218
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:37,372
And regular guys...
do the throwing.
219
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,877
I see.
220
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,039
And I can't
convince you...
221
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,514
to postpone your
new association...
222
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:46,041
with the common man until
after the tournament?
223
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,054
No. I'm seizing the day.
224
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,147
Carpe diem. Mr. Feeny.
225
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,054
Oh, I'm sorry to hear
that, Mr. Minkus.
226
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,064
You were the only
student I ever had...
227
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,395
who could locate Thrace...
228
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,491
on a map of
the ancient world.
229
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:02,831
Ah, that's easy.
230
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,666
Just go north
from the Aegean and...
231
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,729
I know what you're doing,
Mr. Feeny...
232
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:11,176
and it isn't going to...
ain't going to work.
233
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,736
I shall miss you,
Mr. Minkus.
234
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,408
I only wish I knew...
235
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,178
how I was going
to replace you.
236
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,380
Come on, Mr. Feeny.
237
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,222
I'm the only game
in town.
238
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,525
Then, Mr. Matthews,
there is no game.
239
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,497
Uh, Mr. Feeny.
240
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,591
I noticed you've
left the classroom...
241
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,999
and turned east.
242
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:38,003
Towards Europe,
don't you know?
243
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,767
Come on,
give me a chance.
244
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,672
A chance to what,
Mr. Matthews?
245
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,075
To publicly humiliate me?
246
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,840
No. To win for you.
247
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,472
You've never shown
any interest...
248
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,244
in geography before this.
249
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,341
But I do have
an interest...
250
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,750
in winning the
geography tournament.
251
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,720
I can learn anything
when I'm interested in it.
252
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,780
Are you saying
that you're willing...
253
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,655
to learn something from me?
254
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,091
Yeah.
255
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,028
And if anyone can
teach me, you can.
256
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,395
'Cause that's the kind
of teacher you are.
257
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:07,729
I'm an empty vessel.
258
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,133
How many times have I
heard you say that?
259
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,073
I've lost count.
260
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,406
But I'm willing
to learn from you.
261
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:21,106
How many times have
you heard me say that?
262
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:24,605
Well... I don't believe
I've ever heard those words...
263
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,949
in that order from you.
264
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:33,489
All right, Mr. Matthews.
I will take you on.
265
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,222
I shall prep you
for the tournament.
266
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,230
I know that your
motives are not pure...
267
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,732
but I hope your
quest for the prize...
268
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,201
will lead you to the
temple of knowledge.
269
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,703
Yeah, yeah.
If it's on the way.
270
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:45,761
Mm-hmm.
271
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,841
I thought we were
going to the park?
272
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,909
Come on, man, you're
studying too much.
273
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,648
The teachers are
starting to notice.
274
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,485
Yeah, they're calling
you a good student.
275
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,185
They're saying
you have potential.
276
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,320
Wow! The highest
and lowest points...
277
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,262
in the continental
United States...
278
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,458
are only 50 miles apart...
279
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,467
Death Valley
and Mount Whitney.
280
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,901
I find that extraordinary.
281
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,068
Extraordinary?
282
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,940
He's mutating, man.
283
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,102
Ow.
284
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:33,451
Hey, dudes. What's up?
285
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,989
Too Weird for me.
286
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:38,490
I'm out of here.
287
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,492
Hey, my buds
invited me down...
288
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:41,857
to the sewer pipes
to break bottles.
289
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,521
Want to come?
290
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,030
Minkus, I'm glad
you're here.
291
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:46,793
I need to use
your brain.
292
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,802
Sorry, my brain
is no longer in service.
293
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,304
I don't want to lose
this bat boy gig.
294
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,169
In the old days, things
used to be so simple.
295
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,072
You had Russia,
you had Moscow...
296
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,667
one country, one capital.
297
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:01,237
Now you've got your Latvia,
your Estonia, your Ukraine...
298
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,148
and each one has
its own separate capital.
299
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:06,151
What were
these people thinking?
300
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,153
Help me, Minkus.
301
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,951
You're on your own, dude.
302
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,151
Every time
I think I'm out...
303
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:16,992
they try to suck me
back in.
304
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:19,828
You seem to be holding
your own quite nicely.
305
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:23,324
Thanks. Last night I watched
House of StyLe on MTV.
306
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,529
What do you think?
307
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:28,529
I think Western civilization
is in its decline.
308
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,041
I completely agree.
309
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:33,204
I'm going to watch
Beavis and Butthead now.
310
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,779
So, Mr. Matthews,
how goes the studying?
311
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,514
Great. You know,
I'm really getting into it.
312
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,021
Glad to hear it.
313
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:46,025
I think you're going to
make an admirable bat boy.
314
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,356
I hope so...
315
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,692
but learning all this stuff
is pretty fun, too.
316
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:51,788
Did you know that Hawaii...
317
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,992
used to be called
the Sandwich islands?
318
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:57,230
Really?
That's fascinating.
319
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,738
We're they named
after somebody?
320
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,104
Yes, the Earl of Sandwich.
321
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:06,077
Sandwich?
You don't suppose...
322
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:09,309
yes, he did invent
the sandwich.
323
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,839
Isn't that Weird?
324
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,683
Weird, indeed,
Mr. Matthews.
325
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,456
- The buckeye state?
- ohio.
326
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,461
- The bluegrass state?
- Kentucky.
327
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,588
- Highest mountain in Africa?
- Kilimanjaro.
328
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:26,063
Elton John.
329
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,066
Ours.
330
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,330
- Led Zeppelin.
- oh, please.
331
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,167
- Tina Turner.
- My mother's.
332
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,298
Eric, if it
bothers you so much...
333
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,171
that your mother and I are
going to this concert...
334
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,144
why don't you rebel...
don't go.
335
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,113
Oh, yeah. I see
your game here.
336
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,343
You'd love it if I didn't
go to that concert...
337
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,851
wouldn't you?
Nice try, Dad.
338
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,183
Heather and I are going
to that concert.
339
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,689
We're going to be there
64 rows behind you...
340
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,452
breathing down your neck.
341
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,799
Are your shoulders
tense, Mr. Matthews?
342
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,599
Yeah, they're
a little tense.
343
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,634
Then I suggest
you go like this...
344
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,505
You should really relax,
Mr. Feeny.
345
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,642
I got a good feeling
about this.
346
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,151
Your trophy's in the bag...
347
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:23,212
and I'm gonna be handing out
bats at the Fall Classic.
348
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,781
Here you are, Mr. Bonds.
349
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,292
Pinch hit for you?
350
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,692
Why, it'd be my pleasure.
351
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,596
Moderator:
Contestant 3...
352
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:37,330
name the indigenous peoples
of Tierra deL Fuego.
353
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,837
Who are the Yahgans?
354
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,271
It is unnecessary
to phrase your answer...
355
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,673
in the form of a question.
356
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,176
Sorry.
357
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,975
Contestant 4. what
is the primary export...
358
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,481
of the Tuamotus?
359
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:52,951
Are these guys working
from a different globe?
360
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:56,182
I believe that
would be copra.
361
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,519
Thank you.
362
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:01,323
And contestant 5.
to whom do they belong?
363
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,328
To whom does who belong?
364
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,727
The Tuamotus.
365
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:09,030
Of what country are
they a possession?
366
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,467
Did you know that Hawaii...
367
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,528
used to be called
the Sandwich islands...
368
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,164
which were named after
the Earl of Sandwich...
369
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,107
who discovered
peanut butter and jelly?
370
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,543
I'm sorry.
The answer is France.
371
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:24,141
Oh, sure. She gets
a no brainer... "Copra."
372
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:28,586
Florida is the southernmost
of the United States.
373
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:32,990
Alaska is the northernmost
of the United States.
374
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:36,222
Puerto Rico is still
a territory...
375
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,162
so is Guam.
376
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:40,324
What does a bat boy do?
377
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,833
I don't know.
378
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,837
They hand players bats.
Get it, bat boy?
379
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,839
Well, who would
want to do that?
380
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,841
Yeah. What
a stupid prize.
381
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,035
What ever happened to...
382
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,102
the Mercator projection
pull-down wall map?
383
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:56,814
Oh...
384
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,113
I'm hitting my head.
385
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,119
I'm hitting
the northernmost...
386
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,984
part of my head.
387
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,021
So I try not to look
down at row C-C...
388
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:12,189
because Heather and I are
having a good time, you know?
389
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:14,028
But I can't help looking.
390
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:16,296
Are Mom and Dad sitting
in row C-C?
391
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:19,634
No, Mom and Dad are
dancing in the aisles.
392
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,004
Come on, Eric, I think your
parents are really cool.
393
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,509
Oh, good, I'm the lucky boy
with the cool parents.
394
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,307
Your mom was sitting
on your dad's shoulders.
395
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,744
It Was adorable.
396
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,372
I don't want
adorable parents.
397
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,280
Cory, you want
adorable parents?
398
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:33,342
Nope. I just want them
to make me lunch...
399
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,581
and pick me up
from camp.
400
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,953
Oh, I didn't even tell you
the worst thing they did.
401
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,288
What did they do?
402
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:41,588
Hey!
403
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,460
They wore that.
404
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,727
Hot concert, huh?
405
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:47,960
Yeah, hot, Dad.
406
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,195
What's the matter? Didn't
you guys have a good time?
407
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,328
I had a good time.
408
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:52,428
Oh, yeah,
I had a good time.
409
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:53,631
Time of my life!
410
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,799
Come on, Heather.
I'm taking you home.
411
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,673
Eric, what
is the problem?
412
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,905
Well, the problem is
that I've waited all year...
413
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,709
to take Heather
to the Aerosmith concert.
414
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:02,771
When I finally do...
415
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:03,975
I should be having
the time of my life.
416
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,075
But I'm not.
You know why?
417
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,085
No, why?
418
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,086
Cory.
419
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,419
What? I'm involved.
This is interesting.
420
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:14,290
Because my parents
are having my good time.
421
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,420
In better seats.
422
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,054
Why should
our good time...
423
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,428
get in the way
of your good time?
424
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:20,762
You're my parents!
425
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,495
You're not supposed
to have any fun.
426
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:25,299
You're supposed to sit here
and wait for me to get home.
427
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:27,169
And how come I'm home first?
428
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,833
We had backstage passes.
429
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,342
All right, that's it.
Cory, move over.
430
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,845
I'm sitting next to you
in the loser's couch.
431
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:35,346
You lost that
geography thing...
432
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,212
and I lost my music,
my parents...
433
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,341
my entire generation.
434
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,852
I studied geography
for the last 300 hours...
435
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,116
and I have nothing
to show for it.
436
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:44,554
I had to wait
in line all night...
437
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:45,921
to get those tickets.
438
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,290
The only thing I have
to show for it is...
439
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,125
Sonny and Cher.
440
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:54,530
Eric, I'm sorry, and I know
it's tough to hear this...
441
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:56,467
but your mother and I
are at an awkward age.
442
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,960
We're parents,
but we're not dead yet.
443
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:02,133
Fine. Glad somebody
had a good time.
444
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:05,075
Come on, Heather.
I'm taking you home.
445
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,909
Eric, stop right there.
446
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,541
Sit back in that couch,
both of you.
447
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,074
Join me on the couch,
Heather?
448
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,624
Cory, upstairs.
449
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,558
Why? I'm not remotely tired.
450
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,617
Cory.
451
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,097
But suddenly, I'm
overcome with fatigue.
452
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,598
Come on, sweetie.
453
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,965
But I want to watch
Eric get yelled at.
454
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,937
Lots of opportunities
for that.
455
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,735
You know, Dad, it really
wouldn't be too cool...
456
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,038
to start yelling at me
in front of my girlfriend.
457
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:38,737
You know,
when I was your age...
458
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:41,838
I had a father
like the one you want.
459
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,405
But What I Wanted...
460
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:47,977
was a father like
the one you got.
461
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,510
Live With it.
462
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,651
Did my parents just
leave us alone... together?
463
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,164
Yeah, I think
they just did.
464
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:04,534
I'm the lucky boy
with the cool parents.
465
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:05,832
Not that cool!
466
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,380
[BELL RINGS]
467
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,248
Mr. Minkus...
468
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,151
I see you've abandoned
your MTV look.
469
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,621
Well, nothing against
Cindy Crawford...
470
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:27,387
but I'm more of a
Connie Chung kind of guy.
471
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:31,658
Well, sometimes a man
doesn't know himself...
472
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,062
until he's walked a mile...
473
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,693
in another man's
humungous pants.
474
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:41,535
Hey, Minkus.
Who owns the Tuamotus?
475
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,632
France.
476
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,699
Oh.
477
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,640
He would've brought home
the big 6, wouldn't he?
478
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,276
Very likely.
479
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:59,121
Well, I want you to know
that I tried my hardest.
480
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:00,716
Did you?
481
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,695
Do you really feel
you gave it your best...
482
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:04,991
that you studied...
483
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,464
as hard as
you possibly could?
484
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,967
Yeah, I do.
485
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:14,428
You know, Mr. Matthews, many
15th century explorers...
486
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:17,306
believed that geography
meant taking...
487
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:20,107
their little boat
as far as it could go...
488
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,842
before it fell
off the earth.
489
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:26,841
You have pushed yourself
to your farthest latitudes.
490
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,980
And not only did you not
topple over the edge...
491
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:31,683
but, I believe, together...
492
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:35,285
we have charted
new territory.
493
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:36,419
What's this?
494
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:39,022
That is this week's
geography exam.
495
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,793
I got an "A"?
496
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:42,300
Yes, it's an "A."
497
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:45,360
Congratulations,
Mr. Matthews.
498
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,244
We won.
499
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,219
Sports announcer:
There are 2 outs...
500
00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,386
and Barry Bonds
steps up to the pLate.
501
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:10,793
The pitcher
winds up and...
502
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,320
Second announcer: Wait.
wait. wait a minute. Ed.
503
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,594
It Looks Like the bat boy is
running out onto the fieLd!
504
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,067
She seems to be
carrying a banner...
505
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,899
and she's holding
it up. John.
506
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,235
Gosh. Ed. what's it say?
507
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:23,935
It says. "Get France
out of the Tuamotus. "
508
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:25,739
Where are
the Tuamotus. Ed?
509
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,439
WeLL. I guess they're
in France. John.
510
00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:29,913
Hey. you know I always
thought the Tuamotus...
511
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,645
were the indigenous peoples
of Tierra deL Fuego.
512
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,175
Oh. no. John.
513
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,518
Those are the Yahgans????????????????????????????????????????????????
514
00:22:36,568 --> 00:22:41,118
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Afrikaans
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Albanian
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Quechua
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