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1
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Mm, I love martinis
They heal all wounds
2
00:01:02,666 --> 00:01:05,328
After about a thousand of them
I'm still amazed,
3
00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:07,206
But your poor liver has had to work so hard
4
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:11,289
- I know, I know. I'm very proud of her.
Your liver's female?
5
00:01:11,334 --> 00:01:14,121
All of my internal organs are women
6
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:18,206
Listen, I have an early
surprise birthday present for you
7
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:20,832
- When is your birthday, by the way?
In about six months
8
00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:23,207
Oh, well, then this is very early
9
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,241
You know the director Jim Jarmusch, right?
10
00:01:25,292 --> 00:01:27,203
Down By Law, Broken Flowers?
11
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:30,788
Yeah, I love his movies
Well, I saw Jarmusch the other night
12
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:33,040
Oh, he has very good hair, just
13
00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:36,246
Anyway, he wants to meet with you,
give you a script to read
14
00:01:36,292 --> 00:01:37,953
Why does he want me to read his script?
15
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,991
Turns out that he loves your first novel
16
00:01:40,042 --> 00:01:43,159
and he wants you to do
a revision of one of his screenplays
17
00:01:43,209 --> 00:01:45,495
We're gonna meet him
at a Film Society party
18
00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:48,203
tomorrow sometime
and I've set the whole thing up for you
19
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:51,538
I don't know, you know
I really should be working on my book
20
00:01:51,583 --> 00:01:54,074
And look, I don't know
how to write screenplays
21
00:01:54,125 --> 00:01:56,116
You need a computer programme
or something
22
00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:59,284
It's crazy
Don't be a milquetoast, Jonathan
23
00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:02,701
This is a very big opportunity for you
It could be a life changer
24
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:06,208
- Can one screenplay really change a life?
Sometimes
25
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:09,413
Do I want my life to change?
Most people do, Jonathan
26
00:02:09,459 --> 00:02:12,201
Oh, shit, there's Antrem and Priscilla
27
00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,491
No, don't turn around
Sorry
28
00:02:14,541 --> 00:02:18,159
What?
Don't draw attention Just sit, just sit there
29
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:22,452
Who are they?
- Oh, damn it, I can't stand him.
30
00:02:25,459 --> 00:02:28,041
I can't believe this is happening
31
00:02:28,083 --> 00:02:31,826
Richard used to work for me years ago
32
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:34,992
And
And that's Priscilla,
33
00:02:35,042 --> 00:02:36,828
my best ex wife
34
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:39,457
They recently moved back to New York
35
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,536
This is not gonna work
Let's get out of here
36
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:43,790
Why was she your best wife?
37
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:48,742
Everything with her was as intimate as kissing
38
00:02:50,042 --> 00:02:52,249
I never really got over it
39
00:02:52,292 --> 00:02:56,160
the most orgasmic woman
I've ever been with
40
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:59,292
Who was the most orgasmic
woman you've ever been with?
41
00:02:59,334 --> 00:03:03,077
Well, Antrem
You could use my first name, George
42
00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:06,208
But I hope I'm not the most orgasmic
woman you've ever been with
43
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:07,911
I'm not that easy
44
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:11,661
Hello, Priscilla
Hello, George
45
00:03:11,708 --> 00:03:15,701
You look absolutely beautiful
No, I don't I look like shit, but thank you
46
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:19,618
How do I look?
Depraved but well fed
47
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:22,157
Jonathan, this is Richard
and Priscilla Antrem
48
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:24,996
Richard is the new editor
of Women's Wear Daily
49
00:03:25,042 --> 00:03:27,658
George, you know I'm editing GQ
Don't be petty
50
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,415
Oh, I'm sorry I get the two confused
51
00:03:30,459 --> 00:03:33,667
Of course you do You ought to try
doing The Times crossword puzzle
52
00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:36,074
It's supposed to be really
good for senile dementia
53
00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:37,706
Richard, George, please
54
00:03:38,501 --> 00:03:40,492
It's very nice to meet the both of you
55
00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:42,748
- Same here.
So
56
00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:46,750
Who was the most orgasmic
woman you've ever been with?
57
00:03:46,791 --> 00:03:49,248
No, I wasn't talking about me, actually
58
00:03:49,292 --> 00:03:51,783
Jonathan here mentioned
a woman that he was dating
59
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:53,494
that was, what did you say, very lively?
60
00:03:53,541 --> 00:03:55,623
Lively
Really?
61
00:03:55,666 --> 00:04:00,535
You know, you've got an awfully good grip
That's probably kind of handy in bed, isn't it?
62
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:03,245
So how orgasmic was she?
63
00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:04,998
Thank you about the grip
64
00:04:05,042 --> 00:04:09,752
Yeah, I... She was...
I don't want to be rude
65
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,827
It's all right I don't mind talking about sex
66
00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:13,911
It's what everybody's thinking about anyway
67
00:04:13,958 --> 00:04:16,791
Why don't we sit down
and have a drink and be civilised?
68
00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:19,745
You know I'd love to, but we actually were
on our way out right now
69
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,907
So maybe some other time
70
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:26,663
So anyway, um hello and goodbye
71
00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:30,998
- Nice to meet you.
Just
72
00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:34,250
Wow, that was really weird,
the way Antrem wouldn't let go of my hand
73
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:37,125
Oh, he's a strange
and tormented creature
74
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:42,082
It really disturbs me that Priscilla
loved me once and now loves him
75
00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:43,990
I hate to think what that means
76
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,366
They're very nice ladies Well, one of them is
77
00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:51,907
I'd be doing them a huge favour
78
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,200
I don't feel good about this
I don't want you to be a sperm donor
79
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:58,413
But it's flattering They're fans of my work
80
00:04:58,459 --> 00:05:01,667
I've never had lesbian fans before
They should go to a sperm bank
81
00:05:01,708 --> 00:05:05,667
You can't just give your sperm
to two girls you met in a caf�
82
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:07,073
I met you in a caf�
83
00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:12,830
Ray, I just feel like you
shouldn't be doing this
84
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,365
The world is overpopulated
85
00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:18,205
You know there's an island of plastic
the size of Texas in the Pacific
86
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,162
I know, Leah.
You told me this a thousand times
87
00:05:21,209 --> 00:05:24,918
Please don't dismiss what I'm saying
Overpopulation is important to me
88
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:29,952
Look, I don't think that me giving
these lesbians one illegitimate child
89
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,706
is gonna add that much plastic
90
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:34,162
You have two children
Why can't I have one?
91
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,825
But you haven't thought this through
92
00:05:37,917 --> 00:05:39,953
You don't listen to me
93
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,787
I do listen I've heard everything you've said
94
00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:47,372
Really? You don't listen listen
I want you to go for therapy
95
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,540
Oh, God
96
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,458
OK I'll trade you therapy for sex
97
00:05:58,541 --> 00:06:00,452
It's been almost three weeks
98
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:06,118
I think it's sweet
you know how long it's been
99
00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:20,833
Well, let's get a drink
Keep an eye out for Jarmusch
100
00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:25,369
God, there's a lot of good looking women here,
much better than at book parties
101
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:27,786
Hello Hi
102
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:29,573
Goodbye
103
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:32,499
- White wine?
Yeah
104
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,869
Why is it, wherever I go, I look for Suzanne?
105
00:06:38,334 --> 00:06:40,825
Because your heart's broken, Jonathan
106
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:44,242
You're looking for the piece that is her
to put it back together
107
00:06:44,292 --> 00:06:49,002
I'll probably do the same with Priscilla
now that she's back in town, God help me
108
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:53,627
Well, if this thing works out with Jarmusch
I'll be so distracted I'll forget about Suzanne
109
00:06:53,666 --> 00:06:58,080
Movies equal money, women,
glamour, more women
110
00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:01,242
I like that That's positive thinking
But is any of it meaningful?
111
00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:03,783
No, but it's fun
112
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:06,415
Mm, there's Jarmusch
113
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,165
All right, let's go All right?
114
00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,040
Look at that hair God I love that
115
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:13,041
Jim
Hey, George
116
00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,746
This is I'm sorry, I forgot your name
We just met
117
00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:20,500
Miriam
Nice to meet you George Christopher
118
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,372
- And this is Jonathan Ames.
Hello
119
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:25,033
Ah, the man I want to meet
It's very nice to meet you
120
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,495
Would you excuse us?
We have some business to talk over
121
00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:28,747
- Sure.
Thanks
122
00:07:30,292 --> 00:07:31,657
Are those hummingbirds?
123
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:36,293
Oh, yes Yeah, they're
dipping their beaks into flowers
124
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,991
I love them
125
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:42,205
- What was your name again?
Miriam
126
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,366
Miriam
127
00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:46,282
So I really loved your novel
128
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:49,167
Dark, funny, perverted, beautiful
129
00:07:49,209 --> 00:07:53,202
You must really suffer from
the terrifying clarity of your vision
130
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:56,868
Thank you I do suffer Thank you
131
00:07:56,917 --> 00:08:00,250
Take a look at this screenplay.
I kind of dashed it off
132
00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:03,250
- It's about the New York poet Frank O'Hara.
OK
133
00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:07,410
He had a beautiful nose like a boxer
- Yeah, I know. I love his nose.
134
00:08:07,459 --> 00:08:10,701
He got run over by a dune buggy
on Fire Island
135
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:14,243
Anyway, I'd like you to think
about doing a rewrite on this
136
00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:17,500
George has my number
Great Thank you for this opportunity
137
00:08:17,542 --> 00:08:20,284
I love your work and I can't wait to read this
138
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,949
- Thanks.
Oh!
139
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,912
Did you have this script made just for me?
My name's on the cover
140
00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:27,620
Well, you know, now when you
give someone a script to read
141
00:08:27,666 --> 00:08:31,830
it's kind of standard practice
to laser print their name on every page
142
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:35,538
Oh, I see Well, this is not a big deal,
but my name is misspelled
143
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:39,201
There's no O at the end
It's Jonathan, not Jonathon.
144
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:42,242
Yeah, man, I don't know
It's not really important
145
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:46,285
But call me tomorrow
and it's really great to meet you
146
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:48,290
Great to meet you
- Thanks, Jonathan.
147
00:08:48,334 --> 00:08:50,996
All right
Thank you, Jim Jarmusch
148
00:08:51,042 --> 00:08:53,954
Whoo
Do you know Jim Jarmusch?
149
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,742
Uh, yeah
He's my favourite director of all time
150
00:08:56,791 --> 00:08:58,656
His films are like poems that come to life
151
00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:00,915
It's really interesting that you should say that
152
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:04,291
The film that we might work on together
is actually sort of about that
153
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:07,667
You're gonna work with Jim Jarmusch?
154
00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:08,743
Yeah
155
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:18,368
I don't want to go to a bar on Smith Street
Let's just go back to my place
156
00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:21,875
I live with my dad, but he'll be out tonight.
We can have a drink there
157
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:24,033
OK, what year again are you at NYU?
158
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,449
- Senior.
Senior? OK
159
00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:29,959
Wait, so you're 22, right?
I'm going to be soon I'm 21
160
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,366
You don't think I'm too old,
do you? I'm 30
161
00:09:32,417 --> 00:09:36,160
30 is cool I've been
with guys older than you
162
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,245
But are you a man or a boy?
163
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:41,159
Well, what's the difference?
164
00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:45,202
With a man you feel like you're being taken
and you like it
165
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:50,165
And with a boy you feel like they're stealing
something from you and you don't like it
166
00:09:50,209 --> 00:09:51,949
Huh
167
00:09:56,209 --> 00:09:57,790
This is it Thank you
168
00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:05,661
Shit, my dad is home already
We can go to Seventh Avenue for a drink
169
00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:08,495
No, we'll go in his office.
It's fun in there
170
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,498
Wow, it's a beautiful brownstone
171
00:10:15,459 --> 00:10:18,872
Oh, your dad's a therapist?
Yeah, he's a pain in the ass
172
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:22,535
He thinks he's the Carl Jung of Brooklyn
I like Carl Jung
173
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:26,872
Not when he's your dad and he acts like
your diary is part of the collective unconscious
174
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:41,413
Wait Sorry, I keep thinking
about people sitting on this couch
175
00:10:41,459 --> 00:10:44,417
- talking about being sexually abused.
Oh
176
00:10:44,459 --> 00:10:46,791
- That's what makes it fun.
Oh
177
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:53,830
You're a good kisser
Am I a manly kisser?
178
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:56,207
Yeah
179
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,036
Do you want to go to my prom with me?
180
00:10:58,083 --> 00:11:00,244
NYU has proms?
181
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,283
Oh, shit I'm drunk
182
00:11:03,292 --> 00:11:06,284
I should be honest with you I don't go to NYU
183
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,950
- Where do you go? Hunter?
St Anne's
184
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,991
The high school? How old are you?
185
00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:13,078
Old enough
- Wait, wait, wait.
186
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:15,161
You want me to go to your senior prom, right?
187
00:11:15,209 --> 00:11:16,790
You're 18?
No, junior prom
188
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:18,414
- You're 17?
189
00:11:18,459 --> 00:11:21,576
- 16 years old?
But I'll be 17 in two weeks
190
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:24,412
You're 16? Oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God
191
00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:28,577
Don't freak out
I haven't been a virgin for almost a year
192
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:30,911
I probably know more about sex than you do
193
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,950
I know plenty about sex, OK?
194
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,458
That doesn't matter
You said you were 21 years old
195
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,367
There's a big difference between 21 and 16
196
00:11:40,417 --> 00:11:45,286
Look, I'm sorry You're beautiful,
but I have to leave I feel really guilty
197
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:48,326
I wish I had met you in high school
I wouldn't have liked you then
198
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,616
That's true
199
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:56,035
If you really have to go, I want to give you
something to remember me by
200
00:11:57,791 --> 00:12:00,157
And you can tell Jim
he can put me in his movie
201
00:12:00,209 --> 00:12:02,165
Whoa! Don't do that Don't do that
202
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,160
No, no
203
00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:09,740
Dad!
204
00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:12,032
What the hell is going on in here?
205
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,160
No, please
206
00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:21,457
That's right Run, you little shit!
207
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,999
Oh, shit, the script
208
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:04,166
You're going to your mother's
You don't understand me
209
00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:06,370
I don't want to! You're going to your mother's
210
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:09,284
You can't deal with being attracted
to your own daughter
211
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:12,792
Do not try to pull transference on me.
I invented transference
212
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:20,412
I called the girl, but she's already
in Connecticut with her mom
213
00:13:20,459 --> 00:13:21,915
so she can't get the screenplay
214
00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:23,664
What the hell am I gonna do?
215
00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:27,496
You gotta break into that place
I can't break into a therapy office
216
00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:30,249
What difference does it make
that it's a therapy office?
217
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:32,533
No, it's not possible
218
00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:34,949
George is gonna kill me
and so is Jim Jarmusch
219
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,116
Well, they can't both kill you
220
00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:39,249
Look, just call the dad and ask for it
221
00:13:39,292 --> 00:13:44,377
He will shoot me She's only 16 years old,
Well, nearly 17 Nearly 17
222
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,331
- You didn't sodomise her, did you?
No!
223
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,411
That's too bad
224
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:52,792
You gotta be careful
A lot of things fall under sodomy
225
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,996
I wonder if kissing is sodomy
Don't say that
226
00:13:57,125 --> 00:14:00,492
OK, I need to get this screenplay
227
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:03,454
I'm supposed to call Jim Jarmusch
today and tell him what I think
228
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,992
Don't answer your phone.
That's what I would do
229
00:14:06,042 --> 00:14:09,375
But I don't want it to blow over I want this
230
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:13,285
I can't work on my novel I need this job
231
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:19,284
What about you go to the therapist
as a patient?
232
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:22,658
Why? I don't need help
- No, it's not about that.
233
00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:25,871
It's about getting the script
You could act like you've lost control,
234
00:14:25,917 --> 00:14:29,034
then just stick your hand
behind the couch, grab the thing and flee
235
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:32,325
- Why don't you do that?
Because I'm too close to the whole situation
236
00:14:32,375 --> 00:14:34,366
I'll blow it Please
237
00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:39,207
I'll pay for the therapy, give you 50 bucks
and buy you dinner at Sammy's Romanian
238
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:42,370
I do like Sammy's
239
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:48,785
OK, yeah I mean, Leah has been trying
to get me to go to therapy
240
00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:51,916
and maybe this way
she'll get off my back and onto hers
241
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,620
What? What did I say?
242
00:14:54,666 --> 00:14:58,454
Uh, Jonathan found
a therapist that he likes,
243
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,241
and I'm gonna go,
244
00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:04,079
just like you said,
so then we'll, you know
245
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:06,537
Great, cos once you go for a few months
246
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:10,041
and learn the language
we can go for couples' counselling
247
00:15:13,833 --> 00:15:15,539
So what should I talk about in there?
248
00:15:15,584 --> 00:15:19,497
The guy already thinks I'm nuts,
asking for a suicidal emergency meeting
249
00:15:19,542 --> 00:15:21,749
No, that's fine Just throw a fit,
250
00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:24,328
pull back the couch,
grab the script and run out of there
251
00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:28,368
That is the worst plan ever
I gotta warm up before I flip out
252
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:31,875
I gotta lull the guy in
If I go nuts immediately
253
00:15:31,917 --> 00:15:34,909
he might try to throw
a straitjacket on me or something
254
00:15:34,958 --> 00:15:36,368
That's true
255
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,413
Maybe I'll come up with
some fake issues like, uh...
256
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:45,202
I overeat
You sort of do, don't you?
257
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,740
Don't be rude
Sorry
258
00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:49,749
Or maybe talk about how Leah
never wants to have sex with me
259
00:15:49,791 --> 00:15:53,750
Well, that sounds like another real issue
Do you want my help or not?
260
00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:56,498
Yes, I'm sorry
OK, that's the place right there
261
00:15:56,541 --> 00:16:00,910
OK, I'll see you in an hour Or 50 minutes
262
00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:06,869
Ray
263
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,953
Thank you for saving my life
264
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,865
I'll wait for you here by this tree
265
00:16:10,917 --> 00:16:13,374
OK, thank you, Boo Radley
266
00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:48,245
Hey, where's the screenplay?
267
00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:51,246
I didn't get it I forgot, I'm sorry
268
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:53,999
The session was too much
What the hell happened in there?
269
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:57,330
He gutted me like a fish
270
00:16:57,375 --> 00:17:01,835
He said I was so cut off from my feelings
that everyone in my life would die
271
00:17:01,875 --> 00:17:03,957
without knowing that I ever really loved them
272
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,082
Oh, God, that's terrible I'm sorry
273
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,865
- I want to go home.
OK
274
00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:10,408
I want a beer.
I want an ice cream sandwich
275
00:17:10,459 --> 00:17:12,495
I want to take a nap
And then I'm going to
276
00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:17,248
I want to read a comic book
277
00:17:17,292 --> 00:17:19,954
I want to watch Little House On The Prairie
and I want a vodka
278
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:24,367
Well, this is the biggest screw up ever
279
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,783
How old was the girl? 14?
280
00:17:26,833 --> 00:17:28,744
No no, 16, nearly 17
281
00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:31,328
Oh, well, that's not so bad.
Polanski was much worse
282
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,865
- Polanski?
Yeah
283
00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:36,910
You have got to get this screenplay back
Jarmusch is gonna blame me
284
00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:38,243
I'm sorry, George
285
00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:41,204
I think you did this on purpose
You self sabotaged
286
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,582
George,
are you coming back to bed?
287
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:46,992
- I'm lonely.
In a minute Put on the TV
288
00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:51,285
Who's in there?
Uh, Miriam from the other night
289
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:56,117
She's not Priscilla, but she's wonderful
290
00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:58,749
You know, I'm very oral nowadays
291
00:17:58,791 --> 00:18:02,204
I feel like I'm half man, half infant
292
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:06,792
George, please I watch TV all the time
293
00:18:06,833 --> 00:18:09,870
- Hi, Jonathan.
Hi
294
00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:11,908
I'll be right in
295
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,449
You look absolutely beautiful
296
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:16,831
So do you
297
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,873
God
298
00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:25,033
She makes me feel like I'm 50 again
299
00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:26,744
Now I'm feeling oral
300
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:29,282
OK, all right, look,
you gotta work this out
301
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:32,497
I don't want Jarmusch pissed off at me
How will I get the script back?
302
00:18:32,542 --> 00:18:35,454
I don't know I'm gonna have
to give you tough love
303
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,582
You you did this You clean it up
304
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:39,998
George, please
305
00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:56,950
I'm proud of you for going to therapy
306
00:19:06,917 --> 00:19:09,624
I'm sorry, I can't tonight
307
00:19:09,666 --> 00:19:12,499
That guy eviscerated me
308
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:15,830
- My penis is totally recessed.
What?
309
00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:18,787
When I was a little kid
I used to like to push my penis in
310
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,915
to make it look like it disappeared
311
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,907
Today that happened all by itself
312
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,658
I'm not the kind of therapist
that pussyfoots around
313
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,494
I like to dig in fast and I give feedback
314
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,874
Stop fidgeting
What are you doing with your arm?
315
00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:54,624
Nothing I'm just nervous
Put your hands in your lap Focus
316
00:19:54,666 --> 00:19:57,954
Sit up Good posture
sends positive messages to the brain
317
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,584
We're here to work
So what are your issues? Give them to me
318
00:20:01,626 --> 00:20:04,959
Well, I am sad about this break up
I just went through
319
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,115
- She left you?
Yes
320
00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:10,035
And you feel rejected and unlovable and
can't understand why she no longer loves you?
321
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:11,914
- Yes.
You do know she is not
322
00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:15,325
- the only source of love for you in the world?
But I want her love
323
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:18,867
We don't get everything we want in life
You don't get to have her love
324
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,408
That's it End of story Next issue
325
00:20:22,958 --> 00:20:28,043
Oh Erm OK, well
326
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:32,076
I'm a writer, and I've been struggling
to write my second novel
327
00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:34,832
I'm thinking about moving over
to writing screenplays
328
00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,490
Have you?
Not yet
329
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:38,282
OK, let's talk about the second novel
330
00:20:38,334 --> 00:20:42,418
Was your father competitive with you, didn't
like your mother showing you attention?
331
00:20:42,459 --> 00:20:45,292
Mm, a little He never complimented me
332
00:20:45,334 --> 00:20:47,325
And whenever I hugged my mother he said
333
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:50,538
that it disturbed him
to see me acting like a mama's boy
334
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,915
Well, simple then,
you can't write a second book
335
00:20:52,958 --> 00:20:56,200
because you're afraid to hurt your father,
it's a classic Oedipal setup
336
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,457
But how is writing my novel
being like Oedipus?
337
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:00,787
Because in doing so,
you will surpass your father
338
00:21:00,833 --> 00:21:03,791
Oedipus killed his father
and slept with his mother
339
00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:07,371
Success for you is like murder
But you are not a murderer
340
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:11,126
Hmm. Well, thank you.
So what should I do?
341
00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:13,533
Just know that you're allowed
to write a second book
342
00:21:13,584 --> 00:21:16,917
and your father won't be hurt,
and if he is, fuck him.
343
00:21:16,958 --> 00:21:18,038
But I love my dad
344
00:21:18,125 --> 00:21:21,583
Well, then don't write a second novel
and don't come whining to me
345
00:21:21,626 --> 00:21:23,412
Next issue
346
00:21:23,459 --> 00:21:27,668
Put the hands in the lap
347
00:21:27,708 --> 00:21:30,666
Focus Next issue
348
00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:32,824
All right
349
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:38,707
I put up this thing on Craigslist
350
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:41,537
advertising myself as
an unlicensed private detective
351
00:21:41,584 --> 00:21:44,246
I've had a few cases
So what's the problem?
352
00:21:44,292 --> 00:21:46,658
Is it wrong? I do say I'm unlicensed
353
00:21:46,708 --> 00:21:48,994
Sounds to me like you're leading a double life
354
00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:51,454
I think that I am I'm like a Russian doll
355
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:54,367
There's all these versions of me in me
356
00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:57,454
There's only one you
and he's running away from his life
357
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:00,492
Oedipus, you know, was
the first detective in literature
358
00:22:00,542 --> 00:22:03,375
He uncovered mysteries
to find out who he was
359
00:22:03,417 --> 00:22:06,124
I'm sorry, so let me just get this straight
360
00:22:06,167 --> 00:22:09,534
I'm not gonna get my girlfriend back,
I'm afraid to write my second novel,
361
00:22:09,584 --> 00:22:12,291
- and I'm a 21st-century Oedipus?
Yes
362
00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:16,041
Hm
But there is one other thing
363
00:22:17,917 --> 00:22:19,703
I know why you're really here
364
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:23,833
I'm not an idiot, you know
Your name is on every page
365
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:26,412
I would have used a false name
when I made the appointment
366
00:22:26,459 --> 00:22:28,666
but my insurers are sticklers and
367
00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:30,539
- So you know about me and Claudia?
Yes
368
00:22:30,584 --> 00:22:34,748
And you're not mad? I thought she was 21 We
did only kiss She's very mature for her age
369
00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:36,952
I promise I only kissed her
I'm not mad at you
370
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,163
My daughter is precocious
and wild like my ex wife
371
00:22:40,209 --> 00:22:43,918
She likes to sleep with boys in my office
Electra complex So I don't blame you
372
00:22:43,958 --> 00:22:45,949
Thank you, but we did only kiss
373
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,662
Also I don't mix my personal life
and my work life
374
00:22:48,708 --> 00:22:50,994
This office is my professional domain,
375
00:22:51,042 --> 00:22:53,408
a sanctuary where clients can be safe
376
00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:56,667
And you're a client, even though
you're here under false pretenses
377
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:59,666
I am sorry
- But outside these doors,
378
00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:01,699
I would cease to be a therapist
379
00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:04,162
- I would become a father.
I understand
380
00:23:04,209 --> 00:23:06,791
Considering the circumstances,
381
00:23:06,833 --> 00:23:12,328
I want to end the session now
Thank you
382
00:23:12,375 --> 00:23:15,412
So why were you so hell bent
on getting this script back?
383
00:23:15,459 --> 00:23:18,246
Well, because I have a chance
to work with Jim Jarmusch
384
00:23:18,292 --> 00:23:22,001
- And if I do, my whole life could change.
Sounds like an illusion to me
385
00:23:22,083 --> 00:23:26,167
Lives don't change We simply become
more comfortable with our core misery,
386
00:23:26,209 --> 00:23:28,370
which is a form of happiness
387
00:23:28,417 --> 00:23:30,499
Right
388
00:23:35,833 --> 00:23:39,701
Thank you for being
so understanding about everything
389
00:23:47,375 --> 00:23:49,832
- Uh. One last thing.
Yeah?
390
00:23:49,875 --> 00:23:54,369
If you go near my daughter again
I'll break your fucking neck!
391
00:24:04,542 --> 00:24:06,658
Same time next week?
392
00:24:08,417 --> 00:24:11,033
Hey, Jonathan I'm glad you found me
393
00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:14,573
This is where I do my best thinking
394
00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:17,367
Yes, the place is great
395
00:24:17,417 --> 00:24:20,329
Jim, Mr Jarmusch,
your assistant said you were here
396
00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:23,867
Sorry to intrude
but I read the script, which I love,
397
00:24:23,917 --> 00:24:26,078
and I've got
a lot of good ideas about what to do
398
00:24:26,125 --> 00:24:28,241
Oh, man, that's too bad, you know
399
00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:31,534
When I didn't hear from you yesterday
I called Charlie Kaufman
400
00:24:31,584 --> 00:24:35,168
He's been sitting on this script
for, like, two months.
401
00:24:35,209 --> 00:24:38,747
He finally read it
and he wants to do the revisions
402
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:42,661
But I've got a lot of good thoughts
403
00:24:42,708 --> 00:24:46,951
I'm really sorry about this, you know,
but I can't say no to Charlie Kaufman
404
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:50,783
But you know what?
I'll keep you in mind if something comes up
405
00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:55,042
I do make a new film, like,
every four years or so
406
00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:57,994
You should write another book, man
407
00:24:58,042 --> 00:25:01,034
I'd definitely read it
408
00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:05,634
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