All language subtitles for Black-ish s01e18 Sex, Lies and Vasectomies.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:03,540 [Alarm beeping] 2 00:00:03,576 --> 00:00:04,541 [Beeping stops] 3 00:00:04,577 --> 00:00:06,377 Dre: We all have a daily routine. 4 00:00:06,412 --> 00:00:07,344 Oh. 5 00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:09,179 - Bye, baby. - Bye. 6 00:00:09,215 --> 00:00:10,915 And it's comforting to always know 7 00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:11,949 what's going to happen next. 8 00:00:11,984 --> 00:00:13,017 [Telephone rings] 9 00:00:13,052 --> 00:00:14,718 But it also gets a little... Routine. 10 00:00:14,754 --> 00:00:16,287 But just when you think, 11 00:00:16,322 --> 00:00:18,589 "this is it. This is my life," 12 00:00:18,624 --> 00:00:20,190 life surprises you. 13 00:00:20,226 --> 00:00:21,125 Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! 14 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,693 Aah! 15 00:00:24,297 --> 00:00:25,863 I hate surprises. 16 00:00:28,234 --> 00:00:29,867 I'm late. 17 00:00:29,902 --> 00:00:31,101 That's your own fault. 18 00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:32,770 You know, you should plan your outfits a week in advance, 19 00:00:32,805 --> 00:00:33,570 like I do... 20 00:00:33,606 --> 00:00:35,706 Mondre through Fridre. 21 00:00:35,741 --> 00:00:36,540 [Chuckles] 22 00:00:36,575 --> 00:00:38,442 Not that kind of late, Dre. 23 00:00:38,477 --> 00:00:40,010 I'm... Late. 24 00:00:40,799 --> 00:00:41,426 Huh. 25 00:00:41,546 --> 00:00:42,991 Which is weird, 'cause in my rational mind, 26 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,431 I know there's no way I'm pregnant. 27 00:00:44,551 --> 00:00:45,049 But I still get 28 00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:46,850 that little, like, flutter of excitement, you know? 29 00:00:46,886 --> 00:00:48,418 - Mm-hmm. - God. It's so funny. 30 00:00:48,538 --> 00:00:50,552 Yeah. [Laughs nervously] Funny. 31 00:00:50,672 --> 00:00:51,355 It's like that feeling 32 00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:53,123 when you're at the top of a roller coaster, 33 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:54,757 and it's, like, scary, 34 00:00:54,877 --> 00:00:56,944 but it's, like, "fun" scary 'cause you know you're safe. 35 00:00:57,064 --> 00:00:57,661 Mm-hmm. 36 00:00:57,697 --> 00:00:59,830 I remember when it used to be scary scary. 37 00:00:59,865 --> 00:01:01,175 [Chuckles] 38 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,703 Before you got the vasectomy. 39 00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:06,971 Now it's just nice, you know? 40 00:01:07,006 --> 00:01:08,486 I even got to go off the pill. 41 00:01:08,606 --> 00:01:09,306 Hey, whoa. 42 00:01:09,342 --> 00:01:10,441 You got off the pill? 43 00:01:10,476 --> 00:01:11,508 Yeah. 44 00:01:11,544 --> 00:01:13,143 But... I thought you were taking those for cramps. 45 00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:14,912 I haven't had those for a really long time. 46 00:01:14,947 --> 00:01:16,814 Oh. 47 00:01:16,849 --> 00:01:18,148 Did not know that. 48 00:01:18,184 --> 00:01:19,149 - You know why? - Hmm? 49 00:01:19,185 --> 00:01:20,718 'Cause you did not need to know that, 50 00:01:20,753 --> 00:01:21,785 because you're amazing. 51 00:01:21,821 --> 00:01:22,748 [Chuckles] 52 00:01:22,868 --> 00:01:25,389 And you took care of business. My little baby. 53 00:01:25,424 --> 00:01:26,757 As sophisticated viewers, 54 00:01:26,792 --> 00:01:28,959 I think you know where this is heading. 55 00:01:28,995 --> 00:01:31,628 Now, as I said, I hate surprises. 56 00:01:31,664 --> 00:01:36,018 But Bow loves them, so maybe she'll be cool with this. 57 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,165 But, again, as sophisticated viewers, 58 00:01:39,285 --> 00:01:40,978 you know I'm a dead man. 59 00:01:41,098 --> 00:01:43,474 I hate Mondres. 60 00:01:46,859 --> 00:01:47,910 [Record scratches] 61 00:01:48,030 --> 00:01:51,386 Synced and corrected by OussLP www.addic7ed.com 62 00:01:51,506 --> 00:01:53,706 You lied and told your wife you got a vasectomy? 63 00:01:53,741 --> 00:01:56,942 W-w-wait. You never got a vasectomy? 64 00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:59,478 I only got mine 'cause you said yours was easy. 65 00:01:59,514 --> 00:02:02,548 I leaked fluids for six days without medical care 66 00:02:02,583 --> 00:02:04,613 'cause you said that was totally normal. 67 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,048 I must admit, not my finest hour... 68 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,721 here or at home. 69 00:02:09,794 --> 00:02:10,727 More ketchup. 70 00:02:10,762 --> 00:02:11,694 [Gasps] Ow. 71 00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:13,363 It hurts when I say "ketchup." 72 00:02:13,398 --> 00:02:14,330 Ohh. 73 00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:15,798 There might be another kid on the way? 74 00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:17,333 God, you must be freaking out. 75 00:02:17,369 --> 00:02:20,082 I know I did when my wife accidentally got pregnant. 76 00:02:20,322 --> 00:02:22,689 Luckily, turns out it wasn't even mine. 77 00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:23,757 [Dre sighs] 78 00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:26,159 Bow is gonna be so mad. 79 00:02:26,194 --> 00:02:29,543 [Chuckling] Aw, come on. Women are irrational creatures. 80 00:02:29,663 --> 00:02:32,512 How is being upset at your husband for lying irrational? 81 00:02:32,632 --> 00:02:34,201 And that right there 82 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:38,702 is why China is this close to producing a baby-making robot. 83 00:02:38,822 --> 00:02:39,627 [Laughter] 84 00:02:39,747 --> 00:02:40,885 And that right there 85 00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:42,929 is why I record all of these meetings. 86 00:02:43,049 --> 00:02:44,215 - Oh. - Oh, no. 87 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,284 Dre, seriously Was it easier to lie 88 00:02:46,404 --> 00:02:49,049 than to just have the vasectomy and endure 30 seconds of pain? 89 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,236 - [Muffled] 30 seconds?! - H-hold on. 90 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,471 See, y-you don't get it. 91 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,405 Tell me this. 92 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,540 Where would you rather be shot? Huh? 93 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,376 Here or here? Here or here? 94 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,011 - Here or here? Here or here? - I... I... stop... 95 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,045 - here or... - I don't know! 96 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,213 Charlie: Trust me... 97 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,254 from someone who's been shot in both, 98 00:03:03,374 --> 00:03:05,217 I'd take face any day. [Laughs] 99 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:06,577 - What? - Long story short, 100 00:03:06,697 --> 00:03:09,031 never make yourself a grilled butter sandwich 101 00:03:09,066 --> 00:03:10,299 while cleaning your gun. 102 00:03:11,568 --> 00:03:13,733 Okay, uh, Dre, what are you gonna do? 103 00:03:13,853 --> 00:03:15,369 I'm gonna ride it out, you know, 104 00:03:15,489 --> 00:03:18,409 and if Bow's monthly visitor comes, problem solved. 105 00:03:18,529 --> 00:03:19,988 "Monthly visitor"? 106 00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:21,072 You can say "period." 107 00:03:21,192 --> 00:03:23,745 - LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA... - Blah! 108 00:03:23,781 --> 00:03:24,699 - LA, LA, LA, LA... - Gross! Gross! 109 00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:25,606 - LA, LA! - Come on, Laura! 110 00:03:25,726 --> 00:03:29,624 This is a place of work, okay? Not the docks. 111 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,081 I would definitely rather get shot in the balls. 112 00:03:31,201 --> 00:03:31,924 Okay. 113 00:03:33,022 --> 00:03:35,022 Hey, everybody! 114 00:03:35,058 --> 00:03:36,390 Oh. Hey, babe. 115 00:03:36,426 --> 00:03:37,992 What's going on? 116 00:03:38,027 --> 00:03:39,727 - Aunt Flo come? - No. 117 00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:41,496 Oh, my God. 118 00:03:41,616 --> 00:03:42,011 Mm. 119 00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:43,230 Mom's pregnant. 120 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,754 - Are you sure? - Yes! 121 00:03:44,874 --> 00:03:47,401 Dad just asked her if "Aunt Flo" came, 122 00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:48,539 and she said, "no." 123 00:03:48,659 --> 00:03:49,445 That's crazy. 124 00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:51,241 We have an aunt I've never even heard of? 125 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:53,623 Are you guys getting birthday money we don't know about? 126 00:03:55,725 --> 00:03:57,291 - And then it hit me. - Hmm? 127 00:03:57,327 --> 00:03:59,026 I'm obviously not pregnant. 128 00:03:59,062 --> 00:04:00,895 [Scoffs] Obviously. 129 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:03,157 It's early-onset menopause. 130 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:04,348 [Drumroll] 131 00:04:04,468 --> 00:04:06,481 Dre, you are not the father. 132 00:04:06,601 --> 00:04:07,969 Whoooooooo! 133 00:04:08,004 --> 00:04:09,737 [Audience cheering] 134 00:04:09,773 --> 00:04:11,739 You will never be the father. 135 00:04:11,859 --> 00:04:13,706 [ Cheers and applause] 136 00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:19,348 It happened to my mom and my grandma early, too, 137 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,751 and I guess I was just in denial... 138 00:04:21,786 --> 00:04:23,453 It was gonna happen to me. 139 00:04:23,488 --> 00:04:26,055 It's like a whole phase of my life... my womanhood. 140 00:04:26,295 --> 00:04:28,495 No, no, no, no. Baby, don't worry. 141 00:04:28,531 --> 00:04:29,797 I'll still love you. 142 00:04:29,917 --> 00:04:31,077 - Wait... what? - Hmm? 143 00:04:31,197 --> 00:04:32,263 Why is that even on the table? 144 00:04:32,299 --> 00:04:33,264 I-it's not! 145 00:04:34,096 --> 00:04:36,550 No! We can't have a new baby! 146 00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:37,733 We're the babies. 147 00:04:37,853 --> 00:04:40,687 Mom says my butt is as soft as a baby's bottom. 148 00:04:40,722 --> 00:04:42,055 But compared to a real baby, 149 00:04:42,175 --> 00:04:43,459 it'll seem like turtle skin. 150 00:04:43,579 --> 00:04:45,439 Turtle skin is actually very soft. 151 00:04:45,559 --> 00:04:47,792 Why are you fighting me on this? I'm not the enemy. 152 00:04:47,828 --> 00:04:49,794 It's the unborn monster in mommy's tummy. 153 00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:51,296 We can't have another baby. 154 00:04:51,331 --> 00:04:53,798 I mean, I barely got you two out of diapers. 155 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,482 What are you talking about? You never changed our diapers. 156 00:04:56,602 --> 00:04:58,469 Yeah. You barely even talk to us. 157 00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,744 Until I was 3, I thought I was the only one who could see you. 158 00:05:01,864 --> 00:05:03,397 Junior: Guys, come on. 159 00:05:03,432 --> 00:05:05,632 We're bringing new life into the world. 160 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:07,938 I'm gonna talk to it in mom's belly, 161 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:11,146 and it'll learn my voice and love me best. 162 00:05:11,181 --> 00:05:13,749 If it's a boy, I'm thinking... 163 00:05:13,784 --> 00:05:14,816 Gimli. 164 00:05:14,852 --> 00:05:16,685 If it's a girl... 165 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,387 Gimli still works! 166 00:05:19,423 --> 00:05:20,904 LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA 167 00:05:21,024 --> 00:05:22,109 Someone's in a good mood. 168 00:05:22,229 --> 00:05:23,648 I'm relieved! 169 00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:25,917 I thought I was either pregnant or going through menopause, 170 00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:26,906 and guess what. 171 00:05:27,146 --> 00:05:28,345 - I'm neither! - Oh! 172 00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,680 [Laughs] Thank God. 173 00:05:29,715 --> 00:05:31,715 Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank Go-o-o-o-d! 174 00:05:31,751 --> 00:05:32,506 [Laughs] 175 00:05:32,626 --> 00:05:34,818 I mean, pregnancy is bad, 176 00:05:34,854 --> 00:05:37,821 but menopause euggggh! 177 00:05:37,857 --> 00:05:39,123 [Laughs] 178 00:05:39,158 --> 00:05:40,791 Oh... oh, my God. 179 00:05:40,826 --> 00:05:41,725 Oh! 180 00:05:41,845 --> 00:05:43,652 Oh, I'm totally insensitive. 181 00:05:43,772 --> 00:05:44,938 Pam, I'm so sorry! 182 00:05:44,973 --> 00:05:46,506 [Voice breaking] No, no. It's okay. Really. 183 00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:47,507 [Sniffles] 184 00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:49,142 I'm happy I'm pregnant. [Chuckles] 185 00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:50,490 Y-you 186 00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:51,481 you're pregnant? 187 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,700 Yeah! [Chuckles] 188 00:05:52,736 --> 00:05:53,935 Who knew? Science, huh? 189 00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:54,568 [Chuckling] Science. 190 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,297 I'm so jacked up on hormones, I'm all over the place. 191 00:05:56,417 --> 00:05:57,381 Oh, goodness. 192 00:05:57,501 --> 00:05:58,610 Oh, but I am so happy for you. 193 00:05:58,645 --> 00:06:00,345 - Oh. - And I'm crying and, you know... 194 00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:01,346 come on! Fight me! 195 00:06:01,381 --> 00:06:02,280 Oh. Wow. [Chuckles] 196 00:06:02,315 --> 00:06:03,281 I don't know where it came from. 197 00:06:03,316 --> 00:06:04,549 No. I-I don't want to fight you, Pam. 198 00:06:04,584 --> 00:06:07,619 I'm actually really glad that I don't have to sue you. 199 00:06:07,654 --> 00:06:08,987 Sue me? Why would you sue me? 200 00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:10,288 Uh... 201 00:06:10,323 --> 00:06:12,223 Well, you did Dre's vasectomy. 202 00:06:12,259 --> 00:06:13,891 [Chuckles] I thought I was pregnant. 203 00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:16,294 No, I never did Dre's vasectomy. 204 00:06:16,329 --> 00:06:18,696 Oh, he canceled and rescheduled at least five times, 205 00:06:18,732 --> 00:06:19,697 but he never came in. 206 00:06:20,169 --> 00:06:21,168 He didn't? 207 00:06:21,203 --> 00:06:22,235 No! 208 00:06:22,271 --> 00:06:24,071 No, no, no. It happens all the time. 209 00:06:24,106 --> 00:06:27,974 I make $244,000 a year on vasectomy cancellation fees. 210 00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:30,343 I don't even practice anymore. 211 00:06:30,379 --> 00:06:33,146 I just make appointments and wait. [Chuckles] 212 00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:35,916 But if he changes his mind, I can scrub in any time. 213 00:06:35,951 --> 00:06:37,485 Oh, no. No. 214 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,365 If anyone's gonna be cutting my husband... 215 00:06:40,485 --> 00:06:41,698 It's me. 216 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,137 - Hey, babe. - Oh. Hey, babe. 217 00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:48,338 [Sighs] 218 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:54,823 What's that? 219 00:06:54,943 --> 00:06:55,790 Oh, the mouthwash? 220 00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,243 It's oral hygiene Fresh Breath. 221 00:06:57,278 --> 00:06:58,678 You ever seen this stuff before? 222 00:06:58,713 --> 00:06:59,903 No, no, I m... I m-meant the pregnancy test. 223 00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:01,342 Oh, the pregnancy test? 224 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:02,810 You know, I just... 225 00:07:02,845 --> 00:07:04,378 my symptoms are all over the place, 226 00:07:04,413 --> 00:07:06,981 so I just wanted to rule it out. [Laughs] 227 00:07:07,016 --> 00:07:07,882 [Chuckles nervously] 228 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:08,816 Yeah, I know. It's silly, right? 229 00:07:08,851 --> 00:07:10,851 [Chuckles] Yeah, so silly. 230 00:07:10,887 --> 00:07:11,785 Yeah. 231 00:07:11,854 --> 00:07:12,469 Hey, you know, I read someplace 232 00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:15,143 that sometimes vasectomies, uh, they don't take, you know. 233 00:07:15,178 --> 00:07:16,410 Oh, God. Not Pam's. 234 00:07:16,446 --> 00:07:19,247 Pam is known for the fascial interposition and cautery. 235 00:07:19,282 --> 00:07:20,181 Is she? 236 00:07:20,216 --> 00:07:21,182 Yeah, it's the whole snip-and-burn. 237 00:07:21,217 --> 00:07:22,650 [Laughs] Ouch. 238 00:07:22,685 --> 00:07:24,485 - She shuts... It... Down. - Mm. 239 00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:26,654 Yeah, so, I mean, I know we're good. 240 00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:28,289 - I just want to make sure. - Okay. 241 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:29,524 - You know you're safe with me. - Okay. 242 00:07:29,559 --> 00:07:31,459 [Chuckles] 'Cause this guy is ba-bang, ba-bang! 243 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,293 Oh. [Chuckles] 244 00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:33,795 - Shooting blanks. - Nothin's in 'em. 245 00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:34,962 - Nope. - Nope. 246 00:07:34,998 --> 00:07:36,497 Jack and Diane: Daddy, come here! 247 00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:37,799 Oh, that's the kids calling. 248 00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,100 Oh, so I'll just do this right now. 249 00:07:39,135 --> 00:07:40,935 O-or you could wait for me? 250 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:42,036 Oh. I mean, if you choose to. 251 00:07:42,071 --> 00:07:43,137 You know, I don't care. 252 00:07:43,173 --> 00:07:44,105 Okay. Well, then I'll probably just do... 253 00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:45,309 on second thought, I'll take it with me. 254 00:07:45,429 --> 00:07:46,040 Oh, you're gonna take that with you? 255 00:07:46,075 --> 00:07:47,241 Yeah. That's so weird. 256 00:07:47,277 --> 00:07:48,309 Yeah, I just want to check the accuracy. 257 00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:50,411 Oh. Okay. 258 00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:54,682 Dre: A wise man would have taken this as a sign 259 00:07:54,717 --> 00:07:55,883 to tell the truth. 260 00:07:55,919 --> 00:07:57,351 And an even wiser man 261 00:07:57,387 --> 00:07:59,787 would have hopped a boxcar and seen the world. 262 00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:01,722 But I decided to stay 263 00:08:01,758 --> 00:08:04,169 and take care of the children I already have. 264 00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:05,408 'Cause I'm stupid. 265 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,609 Here he comes. 266 00:08:06,644 --> 00:08:09,445 We have t-minus nine months till the new baby's here. 267 00:08:09,481 --> 00:08:11,314 Let's make it count. 268 00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:12,682 Hey, guys. 269 00:08:12,717 --> 00:08:15,051 Both: Read to us, papa! 270 00:08:15,086 --> 00:08:15,818 What? 271 00:08:15,854 --> 00:08:17,119 "And whispered with a smile, 272 00:08:17,155 --> 00:08:19,088 'I love you right up to the moon and back.'" 273 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,857 [groans] The end. And good night. 274 00:08:20,892 --> 00:08:22,492 - One more time! - You skipped a word! 275 00:08:22,527 --> 00:08:23,626 What's going on? 276 00:08:23,661 --> 00:08:25,384 You haven't wanted to hear this book in years. 277 00:08:25,624 --> 00:08:26,523 We love it. 278 00:08:26,558 --> 00:08:27,958 We miss its naive simplicity. 279 00:08:27,993 --> 00:08:29,793 I 280 00:08:29,828 --> 00:08:31,762 Jack, what are you doing? 281 00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,630 I'm dirty. I need a bath. 282 00:08:33,666 --> 00:08:35,432 I want a piggyback ride! 283 00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:37,601 Uh, no. It's bedtime. 284 00:08:38,404 --> 00:08:39,236 [Sighing] Oh! 285 00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:40,837 [Chuckles] You're a horsey! 286 00:08:40,873 --> 00:08:42,205 [Chuckles] [Groans] 287 00:08:42,241 --> 00:08:43,640 Hey, mom. 288 00:08:43,676 --> 00:08:44,741 Hey. 289 00:08:44,777 --> 00:08:46,476 Something on your mind? 290 00:08:46,512 --> 00:08:49,212 No, just, uh... just me. 291 00:08:49,248 --> 00:08:50,113 [Chuckles] 292 00:08:50,149 --> 00:08:52,382 Junior. [Chuckles] 293 00:08:52,418 --> 00:08:53,650 I love you. 294 00:08:53,686 --> 00:08:55,585 Oh. I love you, too. 295 00:08:55,621 --> 00:08:56,920 Sweetie, what are you doing down there? 296 00:08:56,955 --> 00:09:00,090 Who? Me? Junior? 297 00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:02,292 [Chuckles] I'm tying my shoe. 298 00:09:02,328 --> 00:09:03,685 Junior's shoe. 299 00:09:03,805 --> 00:09:04,840 Stand up. 300 00:09:06,632 --> 00:09:08,198 Look me in the eyes. 301 00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:09,724 Are you experimenting with drugs? 302 00:09:09,964 --> 00:09:11,330 [Chuckling] No. 303 00:09:11,366 --> 00:09:12,070 [Chuckles] 304 00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,199 Whoops! 305 00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:13,866 [Chuckles] 306 00:09:14,106 --> 00:09:18,608 You are so beautiful 307 00:09:18,643 --> 00:09:20,944 To me 308 00:09:24,116 --> 00:09:25,982 Is it the Greenstein kid? 309 00:09:26,017 --> 00:09:27,550 Is he giving you drugs? 310 00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:28,985 - Daddy, daddy, daddy! - Hey. Hey. 311 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,154 Look, I'm serious, Jack. It's time to get out. 312 00:09:31,189 --> 00:09:33,089 I'm a fish. Brush my teethies! 313 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:34,190 [Groaning] Ohh. 314 00:09:34,226 --> 00:09:35,291 Hey. Hey, Zoey! 315 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:35,892 Help. 316 00:09:36,132 --> 00:09:37,097 They're your kids. 317 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,866 Just deal with them yourself for once. 318 00:09:38,901 --> 00:09:39,733 [Jack blows] 319 00:09:39,769 --> 00:09:41,302 [Laughs] Boy, what are you doing? 320 00:09:41,337 --> 00:09:43,637 [Snoring] So I went to bed knowing two things... 321 00:09:43,673 --> 00:09:45,172 I have strange children 322 00:09:45,207 --> 00:09:48,242 and that Bow still didn't know if she was pregnant or not. 323 00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:49,877 But I needed to know! 324 00:09:49,912 --> 00:09:53,125 How could I get her to pee on a stick without knowing? 325 00:09:53,245 --> 00:09:58,319 Lucky for me, all my best ideas come at 3:00 a.m. 326 00:10:19,471 --> 00:10:20,203 [Gasps] 327 00:10:20,238 --> 00:10:21,071 What's going on? 328 00:10:21,106 --> 00:10:22,172 Huh? 329 00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:23,173 Uh... 330 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:24,707 [Gasps, coughs] 331 00:10:24,743 --> 00:10:25,775 Shh! Shh! 332 00:10:25,811 --> 00:10:27,944 - Oh, you're having a nightmare. - I am? 333 00:10:27,979 --> 00:10:30,580 Oh, poor thing. You're covered in sweat. 334 00:10:30,615 --> 00:10:31,514 I think I need a towel. 335 00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:32,982 I think I need to turn on the A.C. 336 00:10:33,018 --> 00:10:34,217 - Okay. - Okay. 337 00:10:34,252 --> 00:10:35,585 Weird. 338 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:36,686 Huh? 339 00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,247 Look what I found under the bed. 340 00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:38,852 Huh? 341 00:10:39,092 --> 00:10:41,359 And this was on the bathroom floor. 342 00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:43,294 - Isn't that strange? - Ooh. 343 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,295 How did this happen? 344 00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:45,130 I don't... 345 00:10:45,165 --> 00:10:46,197 This is it. 346 00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:48,366 Time to man up and stop the lies. 347 00:10:48,402 --> 00:10:50,669 Just wish I knew a man who would do that for me. 348 00:10:50,704 --> 00:10:51,636 Rats. 349 00:10:51,672 --> 00:10:52,837 Rats? 350 00:10:52,873 --> 00:10:54,472 Yeah, yeah. How else would that get there? 351 00:10:54,508 --> 00:10:56,174 Definitely have a rat problem. 352 00:10:56,209 --> 00:10:58,276 Remember the other day when you made that big plate of bacon 353 00:10:58,311 --> 00:10:59,944 and it disappeared before the kids came down? 354 00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:01,312 Oh. Rats! 355 00:11:01,432 --> 00:11:02,528 I think you're right. 356 00:11:02,648 --> 00:11:03,380 You do? 357 00:11:03,415 --> 00:11:04,781 - Yeah. - Oh. 358 00:11:04,817 --> 00:11:06,516 There's obviously a rat in the house. 359 00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:10,153 It's a big, fat, pork-eating rat. 360 00:11:10,189 --> 00:11:11,288 Mm-hmm. 361 00:11:11,323 --> 00:11:12,422 Uh-huh. 362 00:11:12,458 --> 00:11:13,990 So, I've laid out some plans 363 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,282 for landing the Clinton initiatives literacy campaign. 364 00:11:16,352 --> 00:11:18,486 It's a chance to do some real good in the world... 365 00:11:18,606 --> 00:11:19,887 okay, hey. Hey, guys, look. 366 00:11:19,923 --> 00:11:21,656 Forget this. My board! 367 00:11:21,691 --> 00:11:23,958 I'm gonna need 10 strategies to help me get out of this lie. 368 00:11:23,993 --> 00:11:24,926 Here we go. 369 00:11:24,961 --> 00:11:26,827 Honey, we're gonna need some coffee. 370 00:11:26,863 --> 00:11:29,597 Only one option... get a cover vasectomy. 371 00:11:29,632 --> 00:11:31,465 - What?! - Tell Bow you're on a business trip 372 00:11:31,501 --> 00:11:32,833 and recuperate at my place. 373 00:11:32,869 --> 00:11:34,769 I make a mean Turkey chili, brah. 374 00:11:34,804 --> 00:11:35,649 I put fritos in it. 375 00:11:35,769 --> 00:11:37,036 - Hard pass. - Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. 376 00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:38,708 Chili offer goes out to everybody here. 377 00:11:38,744 --> 00:11:40,911 I have four Xbox controllers. 378 00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,445 T-three of them a-are still in the package. 379 00:11:42,481 --> 00:11:44,147 Okay, look, any other suggestions? 380 00:11:44,182 --> 00:11:45,682 There are no bad ideas. 381 00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:47,317 - Tell her the truth. - Bad idea. 382 00:11:47,352 --> 00:11:49,552 - Any other ideas that aren't dumb? - Come on. 383 00:11:49,588 --> 00:11:51,087 Dre, there's only one way to play this. 384 00:11:51,123 --> 00:11:52,756 - Dre: What's that? - Lie till you die. 385 00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,090 Yep. Double down. 386 00:11:54,126 --> 00:11:54,958 Let's do it. Great idea. 387 00:11:54,993 --> 00:11:55,926 Everybody Hands in. 388 00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:57,727 Death before honor. Bros before... 389 00:11:57,763 --> 00:11:58,561 hey! 390 00:11:58,597 --> 00:12:00,430 Calm down there, sweet cans. 391 00:12:00,465 --> 00:12:02,599 - Hoo-hoo! - Yeah. Beverly Hills. 392 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:03,900 Gloria Allred. 393 00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:05,135 A-I-l... 394 00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:06,736 Dre? 395 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:07,472 [Thump] Ow! 396 00:12:07,592 --> 00:12:08,490 Whew. 397 00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:09,197 Hey, baby. 398 00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:10,583 You don't have to worry about that rat. 399 00:12:10,618 --> 00:12:11,684 Bought some traps today. 400 00:12:11,719 --> 00:12:14,820 Uh, I got tested at work. 401 00:12:15,923 --> 00:12:17,123 I'm pregnant. 402 00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:18,224 What? 403 00:12:20,928 --> 00:12:22,795 Oh... My God. 404 00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,597 How did this happen? 405 00:12:24,632 --> 00:12:25,731 Um... 406 00:12:27,035 --> 00:12:28,134 A miracle. 407 00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:29,201 T-that's the only answer. 408 00:12:29,237 --> 00:12:30,569 Okay, let's not question it. We'll move on. 409 00:12:30,605 --> 00:12:32,371 Sometimes you just got to roll with life. 410 00:12:32,407 --> 00:12:34,674 Dre, I do not believe in miracles. 411 00:12:34,709 --> 00:12:37,109 We need to sue the damn hospital. 412 00:12:37,145 --> 00:12:39,045 Yes... We do. 413 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,913 All right, shut 'em down, baby. 414 00:12:40,948 --> 00:12:41,947 Shut 'em down! 415 00:12:41,983 --> 00:12:42,656 - Are you sure? - Yes! 416 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:43,190 I mean, you know, 417 00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:46,765 they are the nation's number-one pediatric cancer center. 418 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,199 Did not know that. 419 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,502 Shut the whole thing down? Really? 420 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,138 Well, uh... 421 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,406 Accountability, Bow. 422 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,675 Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do, right? 423 00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:57,842 - All right. - Okay. 424 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:58,944 - Let's do this. - Let's do it. 425 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,612 - Siri! - Huh? 426 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:04,749 Find me the best malpractice lawyer in Los Angeles. 427 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,751 Okay. Hold up. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 428 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:07,886 Um... 429 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,287 You know, I think it's time 430 00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:10,956 that I finally take the high road. 431 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:11,972 Yes. It is. 432 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,821 Which... 433 00:13:13,941 --> 00:13:15,193 Is forgiveness. 434 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,074 All right, we forgive the hospital. 435 00:13:17,314 --> 00:13:20,315 We can't have those poor little cancer kids out on the street. 436 00:13:20,350 --> 00:13:21,183 Wow! 437 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,117 What? 438 00:13:22,152 --> 00:13:24,686 Wow. I was so angry. 439 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,587 Oh. 440 00:13:25,622 --> 00:13:27,422 But you're so full of mercy. 441 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,323 Hm. 442 00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:30,192 You're like... you're like... 443 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:31,493 You're like Jesus. 444 00:13:32,954 --> 00:13:35,103 [Sighs] 445 00:13:35,223 --> 00:13:36,755 I'm not like Jesus, Bow! 446 00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:38,524 I lied! I did not get the vasectomy, all right? 447 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:40,459 They told me it would be 30 seconds of pain. 448 00:13:40,494 --> 00:13:41,994 30 seconds! 449 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,162 You know what? Okay. 450 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,097 I'll... I'll get a vasectomy tomorrow. I promise. 451 00:13:45,217 --> 00:13:46,996 That's another lie, 'cause I'm not gonna get that done. 452 00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:48,983 This is my balls, Bow. 453 00:13:49,018 --> 00:13:50,417 My balls! 454 00:13:50,486 --> 00:13:51,819 The balls that you love. 455 00:13:51,854 --> 00:13:53,220 Dre! 456 00:13:53,256 --> 00:13:56,257 I... Know... You... Lied! 457 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,792 What are you talking about? 458 00:13:58,828 --> 00:14:00,427 Pam told me yesterday. 459 00:14:00,463 --> 00:14:02,096 - Pam... - And you know what also, Dre? 460 00:14:02,131 --> 00:14:03,964 I'm not pregnant. 461 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,261 I stole it from a lady. 462 00:14:05,381 --> 00:14:05,688 I 463 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:09,296 Dre, we decided that we were done. 464 00:14:09,332 --> 00:14:10,331 I'm a princess! 465 00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:12,466 Look! I'm a princess! 466 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:13,934 - Sweetheart... - Look! I'm a princess! 467 00:14:13,969 --> 00:14:15,769 - I'm a princess! - Mommy... 468 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,371 I don't feel good. 469 00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:19,011 - [Vomiting] - Oh! 470 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:20,625 Snip it. 471 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,893 Copy that. 472 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:25,797 - We decided that we were finished. - Uh-huh. 473 00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,400 But I might still be in the baby-making game someday. 474 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,467 What day? 475 00:14:29,503 --> 00:14:32,070 What, are you just keeping your options open 476 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,304 in case we split up? 477 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:33,905 No! 478 00:14:34,145 --> 00:14:37,295 Bow, we are in it... till death do us part. 479 00:14:37,331 --> 00:14:39,164 So in case I die?! 480 00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:40,432 You think about me dying? 481 00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,200 No! 482 00:14:42,235 --> 00:14:43,201 Not a lot. 483 00:14:43,236 --> 00:14:44,469 Oh, my God. 484 00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:46,671 Bow, you eat really, really fast. 485 00:14:46,707 --> 00:14:49,351 Remember last year when you choked on a grape? 486 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,098 What? 487 00:14:50,218 --> 00:14:51,716 I would be devastated, of course, 488 00:14:51,836 --> 00:14:54,846 and in deep, deep mourning. 489 00:14:54,881 --> 00:14:57,115 But I know you would want me to pick up 490 00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:59,250 and move on with someone who loved our kids. 491 00:14:59,286 --> 00:15:01,197 Like... That nice little burrito girl 492 00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,403 who gives them extra guacamole. 493 00:15:03,439 --> 00:15:04,471 You want me to choke to death 494 00:15:04,507 --> 00:15:05,303 so that you can get with Chipotle girl? 495 00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:07,410 Okay, Bow, hear me out. I didn't mean to say... 496 00:15:07,445 --> 00:15:08,511 [trap snaps] Ow! 497 00:15:08,546 --> 00:15:10,880 Yes, I stepped on my own rat trap. 498 00:15:10,915 --> 00:15:12,381 Whaaa! 499 00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:13,983 As sophisticated viewers, 500 00:15:14,018 --> 00:15:17,120 I'm sure you appreciate the irony of this moment. 501 00:15:17,155 --> 00:15:18,621 [Whimpering] I can't feel my foot. 502 00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,235 Uh, what happened? 503 00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:23,269 [Voice breaking] I'm dying. 504 00:15:23,304 --> 00:15:24,570 He's fine. 505 00:15:24,606 --> 00:15:26,706 This shoe is the only thing holding my foot in place. 506 00:15:26,741 --> 00:15:28,274 Guys, we may be at the hospital late, 507 00:15:28,309 --> 00:15:30,843 so I'm gonna need you to put these two to bed. 508 00:15:30,879 --> 00:15:31,911 Oh. Fine. 509 00:15:31,946 --> 00:15:34,580 I'll just finish raising these two for you. 510 00:15:34,616 --> 00:15:36,749 Then I'll get started on that new baby you're having 511 00:15:36,784 --> 00:15:38,718 so that you guys are free to go off 512 00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:41,153 and drink pi?a coladas and step in rat traps. 513 00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:43,656 Oh, my God. 514 00:15:43,691 --> 00:15:45,057 There's no baby. 515 00:15:45,093 --> 00:15:46,292 - What?! - What?! 516 00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:47,293 - No! - Yes! 517 00:15:47,328 --> 00:15:48,528 So we'll still be the babies? 518 00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:49,996 'Cause we love being your babies. 519 00:15:50,031 --> 00:15:52,698 Oh, you guys are always gonna be my babies. 520 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:56,135 Great. You all are happy, but what about me? 521 00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:58,304 I was all excited about a new baby 522 00:15:58,339 --> 00:16:00,406 who would love me for who I am... 523 00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:01,674 like precious. 524 00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:03,209 - What? - Mm. 525 00:16:03,244 --> 00:16:06,479 From the novel "Push" by Sapphire, 526 00:16:06,514 --> 00:16:08,006 not from the film "Lee Daniels' precious"... 527 00:16:08,126 --> 00:16:08,379 - Oh. - Oh. 528 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,519 Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire. 529 00:16:10,555 --> 00:16:12,188 Never get those two hours back. 530 00:16:12,223 --> 00:16:13,155 [Chuckles] Me neither. 531 00:16:13,191 --> 00:16:15,826 And don't get me started on Mo'nique. 532 00:16:15,946 --> 00:16:17,053 How about Less'nique? 533 00:16:17,173 --> 00:16:18,094 - Huh. - Preach. 534 00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:19,829 Okay, guys. I'm bleeding out over here. 535 00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:23,132 - It's broken. - It's not broken. 536 00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:27,136 Unfortunately, it looks like you have four broken toes. 537 00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:28,471 Yes! 538 00:16:28,506 --> 00:16:30,272 Every one of which you deserve. 539 00:16:30,308 --> 00:16:31,907 This... this is a strange dynamic. 540 00:16:31,943 --> 00:16:33,509 Not for us. 541 00:16:33,544 --> 00:16:35,444 You have no empathy, Bow. 542 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,044 What?! 543 00:16:36,164 --> 00:16:37,566 Just like you had no second thought 544 00:16:37,686 --> 00:16:39,786 about forcing me to get a vasectomy. 545 00:16:39,821 --> 00:16:41,187 Which you didn't get! 546 00:16:41,223 --> 00:16:43,289 Oh! So now I'm a liar because I lied? 547 00:16:43,325 --> 00:16:44,290 You're impossible, Dre. 548 00:16:44,326 --> 00:16:45,925 You know what... it's moments like this 549 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:47,360 that make me want to roll the tape 550 00:16:47,396 --> 00:16:48,395 on my own escape fantasy. 551 00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:49,229 - Roll it. - Yep. 552 00:16:49,264 --> 00:16:50,497 Kids go off to college. 553 00:16:50,532 --> 00:16:51,898 I run off to burning man. 554 00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:53,566 [Snickers] Yeah, and I fall in love 555 00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:57,270 with a sexy egyptologist who tames wild horses 556 00:16:57,305 --> 00:16:59,572 and [Gasps] he reads me poetry, 557 00:16:59,608 --> 00:17:02,342 and he doesn't have to take forced naps 558 00:17:02,462 --> 00:17:04,444 because he eats too many hot dogs. 559 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:07,965 I eat the right amount of hot dogs. 560 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:11,903 Hey. What are you doing up? 561 00:17:11,938 --> 00:17:13,371 - Can't sleep. - Oh. 562 00:17:13,406 --> 00:17:15,406 I was really excited about the new baby. 563 00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:16,240 Ohhh. 564 00:17:16,276 --> 00:17:18,676 That's so sweet! 565 00:17:18,711 --> 00:17:20,311 But there are other ways 566 00:17:20,346 --> 00:17:22,888 to get a new little sibling who idolizes me. 567 00:17:23,008 --> 00:17:24,026 [Chuckling] Like what? 568 00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:26,433 Like, you know how dad never changes the batteries 569 00:17:26,468 --> 00:17:27,801 in the smoke alarm? 570 00:17:27,836 --> 00:17:29,069 Yeah. [Chuckles] 571 00:17:29,104 --> 00:17:31,638 Well, what if one day, I come home 572 00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:33,974 and the whole house is on fire? 573 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:37,577 I do everything I can to save you guys, but... 574 00:17:37,613 --> 00:17:38,812 It's too late. 575 00:17:38,847 --> 00:17:40,247 I get put in foster care, 576 00:17:40,282 --> 00:17:42,582 and even though it's hard sharing a room 577 00:17:42,618 --> 00:17:44,818 with five little brothers, I'm a star. 578 00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:47,220 The kid with the leather jacket 579 00:17:47,256 --> 00:17:50,223 who risked his life to save his family... 580 00:17:50,259 --> 00:17:52,225 Who all died. 581 00:17:52,261 --> 00:17:54,880 So... You were able to save your leather jacket, 582 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,253 but we all died? 583 00:17:56,288 --> 00:17:57,721 - Yeah. Pops, too. - Oh. 584 00:17:57,756 --> 00:18:00,791 Poor old guy... fell asleep while smoking a cigar. 585 00:18:00,826 --> 00:18:02,492 - Okay. - Started the fire. 586 00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:04,027 Okay. Yeah. 587 00:18:04,063 --> 00:18:06,263 Um... that's very vivid. 588 00:18:06,332 --> 00:18:07,626 [Clears throat] Hear me out. 589 00:18:07,746 --> 00:18:10,538 If you want everyone to think you're a hero, 590 00:18:10,658 --> 00:18:13,659 why not... learn a magic trick, 591 00:18:13,695 --> 00:18:15,728 teach yourself to peel an orange in one piece? 592 00:18:15,764 --> 00:18:17,663 People love that, Junior. 593 00:18:17,699 --> 00:18:19,665 You know, just double down on what you've got 594 00:18:19,701 --> 00:18:22,802 instead of putting all your hopes into a new baby 595 00:18:22,837 --> 00:18:25,071 or a... tragic house fire. 596 00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:26,478 - Thanks, mom. - Yeah. 597 00:18:26,718 --> 00:18:27,783 I'll sleep on it. 598 00:18:27,819 --> 00:18:30,686 Wha... okay. You can sleep on it. 599 00:18:30,722 --> 00:18:32,989 Just... No one dies. 600 00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,624 I'm gonna sleep on it. 601 00:18:34,659 --> 00:18:35,458 Uh 602 00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:42,157 How come everybody in our family 603 00:18:42,192 --> 00:18:44,693 has some insane fantasy about how to get out? 604 00:18:44,728 --> 00:18:46,552 Junior hit you with that house-fire story, didn't he? 605 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,924 Oh, my God. 606 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,393 - [Chuckles] Vivid, right? - Yeah. 607 00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:50,961 [Chuckles] Wow. 608 00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:53,096 But, honestly, Dre, we're not that much better. 609 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:53,997 Huh? 610 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,432 Why didn't you talk to me? 611 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,536 Because I was afraid that you would be mad 612 00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:02,773 that I wasn't locked into our plan... 613 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,485 you know, four kids, a vasectomy. 614 00:19:04,725 --> 00:19:07,126 You know, everybody out of the house by the time we're 50. 615 00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:08,031 It's a good plan. 616 00:19:08,151 --> 00:19:09,045 Yeah. See? See? 617 00:19:09,285 --> 00:19:11,852 You know exactly what you want our future to be. 618 00:19:11,888 --> 00:19:13,254 - That's not true. - I... 619 00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:16,157 I always thought being a doctor was everything, 620 00:19:16,192 --> 00:19:17,458 and then I had kids. 621 00:19:17,493 --> 00:19:18,960 And... ? 622 00:19:19,728 --> 00:19:21,227 And a beautiful house. 623 00:19:21,263 --> 00:19:23,096 That you bought together with... ? 624 00:19:23,131 --> 00:19:26,566 An amazing realtor. 625 00:19:26,601 --> 00:19:28,234 - Okay, I'll stop. - Dre, you know, 626 00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:31,065 sometimes when I miss a recital or a soccer game, 627 00:19:31,185 --> 00:19:34,553 I think I'm really missing out on the kids. 628 00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:36,689 And I think maybe it's time for me to just cool it 629 00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:40,259 with this hard-core doctor stuff and be part-time or teach 630 00:19:40,294 --> 00:19:42,394 so that I could spend more time with them. 631 00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:43,729 - Really? - Yeah. 632 00:19:43,764 --> 00:19:44,830 I never knew. 633 00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,357 So you're gonna stop being a doctor? 634 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,852 Hell no. I love being a doctor. 635 00:19:48,972 --> 00:19:51,272 But, Dre, come on. Life is complicated. 636 00:19:51,308 --> 00:19:54,108 Babe, we've got to tell each other things like that. 637 00:19:54,144 --> 00:19:56,077 We got into this so young. 638 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,045 Ohh. 639 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,613 Of course things are gonna change. 640 00:19:58,648 --> 00:20:00,348 I wish someone had told us that when we got married. 641 00:20:00,354 --> 00:20:01,100 Ohh. [Sighs] 642 00:20:01,139 --> 00:20:02,919 We could have used that advice way more than those towels. 643 00:20:03,058 --> 00:20:05,091 Babe, we made a contract with each other. 644 00:20:05,127 --> 00:20:06,259 [Sighs] 645 00:20:06,294 --> 00:20:09,696 And the only constant in that contract is us. 646 00:20:09,731 --> 00:20:11,031 The kids aren't a part of that constant? 647 00:20:11,066 --> 00:20:12,265 - Oh, hell no. - Oh. 648 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,567 You say the word, I'll get my sonicare and my speedos, 649 00:20:14,603 --> 00:20:15,792 and we'll be halfway to m?jico. 650 00:20:15,912 --> 00:20:16,787 [Both laugh] 651 00:20:16,907 --> 00:20:18,972 'Cause we're ordinary people 652 00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:20,673 Turns out life isn't routine. 653 00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:23,777 If you're doing it right, it always surprises you. 654 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:27,193 And that's a surprise I don't hate. 655 00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:35,972 Synced and corrected by OussLP www.addic7ed.com 656 00:20:36,022 --> 00:20:40,572 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 44962

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