All language subtitles for Bewitched s03e20 The Corn Is As Eye.eng

Well, all done.

Now to put everything back.

Oh, our new lamp.

No. No witchcraft.

But our new lamp.

Well...

...if I'm gonna go,
I might as well go for broke.

But from now on,
no more witchcraft.

Who says?

There I go.
Missed the mark again.

One mistake after another.

Oh, dear, Aunt Clara.

Well, we all make mistakes.

My mistakes? Oh, no, dear.

No, no. No, I'm finished.

I'm going to give it up and
change myself into something....

Oh, something useful,
like a footstool or--

Now, you listen to me.

Aunt Clara, you get that thought
right out of your head.

I've just come from a meeting
with Endora, Hagatha and Enchantra.

And they've been a whole hour
trying to put it into my head.

-Oh, no.
-Yes.

And your-- And your mother--

Yeah, well....

She said I'm an old cow
and I should be put out to pasture.

Well!

Oh, well. Well, they were right.

Hagatha said it's time
I hung up the gloves.

Or did she say broom?

Okay, you can forget about that
prospectus for the Morton Milk account.

You wanna know why?

Because while you've
been slowpoking along...

...showing Morton
what we can do on paper...

...the Whittle Agency's been doing
something creative. That's why.

Creative like what?

They're going to put Ginger,
Morton's world-famous Guernsey cow...

...on display in the lobby of
this building next week, all week...

...which happens
to be National Milk Week.

People will gape through
the window...

...and then run, not walk,
to the neighbourhood market...

...and buy a quart of Morton's Milk.

-ldeas were to--
-You'd better get with it.

If you think you can get ahead...

...riding on nothing but hard work
and talent, you're crazy.

-Hello.
-Hi, sweetheart. Guess what?

Aunt Clara just stopped by
for a visit.

That kind of news I don't need.

Darrin, I'm worried about her.
She's terribly depressed.

She's talking about giving up,
retirement.

Well, that kind of news I do need.

Darrin, this is serious.

She's been talking about
changing herself into something.

Permanently. Something useful.

Sam.

I thought if I brought her
into town...

...and we took her someplace
for lunch...

...it might lift her spirits,
if you'll excuse the expression.

Oh, it would mean so much to her,
you taking us both to lunch.

Well, okay, honey.

While you're at it, would you stop
at the jeweller's and pick up my watch?

I meant to this morning, but I forgot.

Oh, sure.
Oh, and Louise is gonna babysit.

What if Tabatha suddenly decides to--?
You know.

No, no, don't worry.

No, I'll put Tabatha down
for a nap before I leave.

-Okay, sweetheart. Bye-bye.
-Bye, sweetheart.

Aunt Clara, guess what. You and l--

Aunt Clara?

Aunt Clara, is that you?

I can't even make it
as a potted plant.

Oh, why not?

Can't you see I'm wilting?

There must be something
I could change myself into...

...where I wouldn't make mistakes.

Aunt Clara, the only thing
I want you to change is your hat.

And we're gonna do that by buying you
the prettiest one we can find.

Oh, I must say, Aunt Clara...

...you do look lovelier in daisies
than you did in philodendron leaves.

And you're much
better company here...

...than you would have been
if you'd gone out to pasture.

Well, thank you, dear.
And thank you so much for the hat.

-lt was time that I got a new one.
-Time!

Oh, I forgot.
I forgot Darrin's watch.

Oh, dear.

Oh, it'll take me at least 15 minutes
to walk to the jeweller's and back.

But it would only take me a second
to pop over and back.

-Promise you won't tell.
-Me, tell? Oh, certainly not.

Tell what?

Aunt Clara, you wait right here.
I'll be--

I'll be back in a flash.

In a flash.

Probably easier to get than a taxi.

Hi there, beautiful.

Well, you seem to be
doing pretty well.

Not wilting.

Now, you know,
when I was a plant, the trouble....

Do you mind? This is private.

I....

Look, I got explicit instructions
to bring her in here.

I'm giving you new
explicit instructions.

-Get that cow out of here.
-Will you listen already?

This is Ginger.

I don't care if it's Tallulah.

Look, I didn't hear nothing
about allowing any cow...

...to loiter in any building
on my beat.

Listen. Why don't we nicely
call up Mr. Whittle?

He's the advertising man.
He's right in the building here.

He'll come down,
and he'll explain that he's the one...

...that got me the clearance
to bring Ginger in here.

I tell you what, I'll even use
my own dime. Come on.

Hey, lady?

If you get tired
of yakking to the plant...

...there's a cow
with nobody to talk to.

Oh, isn't this all cute?

Well, of all things....

Well, hello there. Going up?

Going up with you
would be like going to heaven.

You're what I call a class A,
number-one, all-time gorgeous--

Please, would you mind going up
to heaven without me?

I'm very busy looking for someone.

Take your pick.
There's some beauts today.

-Talk about fruitcakes.
-Fruitcakes?

I don't care how long I live, I ain't
never gonna get so sophisticated...

...that an old dame
talking to a plant one minute...

...and a cow walking around
the lobby the next ain't a novelty.

-A cow?
-A cow.

A co-- Where? Where?

Around the corner. How about it?

Wanna take a ride with me?
Fly to heaven?

Next trip.

Aunt Clara?

Aunt Clara?

Aunt Clara.

Aunt Clara. A cow, of all things.

And in Darrin's building.
Well, this is hardly out to pasture.

You--

Yes. Yes, sir.

A policeman. That's all we need.

No, no, don't try to talk.

I better get you home.

Oh, Louise must be upstairs
with Tabatha.

What happened to my Ginger?

You made me lose my cow.

Aunt Clara, just because I told you
not to talk before doesn't mean that--

Samantha, is that you?

Oh, hi. Hi, Louise.

-I'll be right up.
-Oh, no, no, no. I'll be right down.

Tabatha's asleep.

Aunt Clara, dear,
you go into the kitchen.

I'll try and get rid of her.

Aunt Clara, I said, in the kitchen.

Just because you chose to be
a cow...

...doesn't mean you have to be
a stupid one. And stubborn.

-How come you're back so early?
-Oh, hi, Louise.

I can't thank you enough
for staying with Tabatha.

And if I can ever return the favour,
don't hesitate to call me.

-I'm sorry you have to rush off.
-But I don't.

Oh, that's right, you don't.

-Well, then why am I leaving?
-Because I'm in such a hurry.

Oh, sure.

Thanks a lot, Louise.

-Oh, boy.
-You can say that again.

Oh, dear. Aunt Clara...

...being a cow
is no solution to anything.

Now, please. Come on,
change yourself back.

Don't tell me you've forgotten how.

-Hello?
-Samantha?

You were coming for lunch.
What happened? I've been worried.

Well, hi, sweetheart.

I was going to call you,
but something came up.

Well, that is, something happened.
Aunt Clara's sort of indisposed.

Sort of indisposed?
What does that mean?

Oh, nothing serious.
She'll be all right.

You better be.
I'll see you at dinner, okay?

Oh, yeah, sure. Sure. Okay.

Goodbye.

Sort of indisposed?

Now, Aunt Clara,
you know I can't change you back.

You just have to do that yourself.

Why not try to relax a little,
rest a little first?

How about a nice glass
of warm milk?

Warm milk. What am I saying?

Yes, Samantha,
what are you saying?

Oh, Louise.

-Didn't you leave?
-You gave me the wrong jacket.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Louise.
I must've been thinking about the cow.

I'm not quite used to it yet.
Having one, I mean.

Oh, but as soon as I am,
I'll call you.

All right? All right.

Oh, Aunt Clara.

A cow?

I'm going to call Larry.

Aunt Clara, why couldn't you
have been a Chihuahua?

Oh, nice.

Okay, you wanna know why
the Whittle Agency...

...may lose the Morton Milk account
and we may get another whack at it?

Well, I suppose--

Because Whittle has gone
and lost C.L. Morton's cow.

-That's why.
-Lost a--?

-How could anyone lose a cow?
-I don't know. But losing Ginger...

...Morton's world-famous,
prize-winning Guernsey cow...

...worth at least $12,000...

...you gotta admit,
that's pretty creative.

Larry, I would like to shake hands with
a man who really knows how to gloat.

World's champ.
They're down in the lobby.

Whittle's about to have
a nervous breakdown...

...and C.L. Morton wants to put the city
under arrest for cow-napping.

Let's go. Come on.

You're through delivering cows,
mister, I hope you know that.

On account of you and your authority,
I got a missing cow on my hands.

If she were on your hands,
she wouldn't be missing.

You're gonna give me logic, right?
Policeman's logic?

-You got something against policemen?
-Yeah. A missing cow on my hands.

That's what I got against policemen.

Don't worry, Mr. Morton.
I'll get to the bottom of this.

Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara.

Oh, Darrin.
Darrin, what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be at home.

I am? Oh, my goodness,
I've goofed again.

No, stay right here. I'm gonna
call home and check this out with Sam.

Stay right here.

Every endeavour is being made
to find your cow, Ginger.

And I give you my word that--
What are you doing here, Tate?

Well, I thought I might be
of some assistance.

-ls something wrong?
-Something wrong?

Why, this numskull Whittle--

Mr. Tate, your secretary says
to get on the horn to your wife.

-Very important.
-Later.

I think I'd better have a visit
with Mr. Tate here.

Mr. Morton,
if you'd only have a little patience.

Your secretary said your wife said
to call her now, not later.

-lf I was you, pal--
-Look here, young man.

Okay, okay.

I wouldn't take on both of them,
a wife and a secretary.

All right, all right.
I get the message.

Excuse me for a minute, Mr. Morton.

Now, there goes a good man.

Sam, what I'm trying to say is...

...I think you misplaced Aunt Clara.

She's here in the lobby
of the building.

Oh, Darrin, don't be ridiculous.

She's standing right next to me
eating her oats.

Sam? Amazing how
they pick their times.

-Her what?
-Her oa-- Oh, well, it's really oatmeal.

But I didn't know what else to give her.
She missed having her lunch.

Sam--

Darrin, I told you Aunt Clara was upset.
She turned herself into a cow.

-She turned herself into a what?
-A cow.

I think you made a little mistake.

-A mistake?
-Sam's got a what in their where?

A cow?

What kind of a cow?

Sam, honey.
Aunt Clara's here in the lobby.

Aunt Clara's there?

Are you sure? Is she all right?

-She's fine.
-Bye, Louise.

Well, if she's there,
then who have I got here?

And what was she doing
in your lobby?

What difference does it make?
I mean, who cares, really?

The point is, since you're
practically next door...

...why don't you just pop over
and fix things, if you know what I mean.

In a minute, Lar.

-I'll have to get Mother to babysit.
-Terrific.

You even agree to that?
Must be worse than I thought.

That's right. I'll be waiting
for you in the lobby, honey.

Things are sort of crowded in spots,
if you know what I mean.

Yeah, all right. Bye.

-Something on your mind, Lar?
-Yeah. Are you out of yours?

I said get the account,
not steal the cow.

-Steal what cow?
-Ginger.

Ginger?

Do you or do you not have a cow
in your living room?

-No, I don't know--
-I was just talking to Louise...

...and she said she saw a cow
standing in your--

Larry, you don't think--? You don't
think that our cow is the Morton cow?

Your cow? Oh, Darrin,
don't be ridiculous.

How could you possibly think
it was the same cow?

Well, after all, I mean--

In the first place,
our cow's name is Trixie.

-Trixie?
-Yeah.

Hadn't we better get over there,
see what's going on?

What do you want with a cow?

Actually, I don't want one at all.
It's all Sam's idea.

She's on a big economy kick
like a lot of the housewives are.

Baking her own bread
and growing their own vegetables.

Well, Sam wants
to grow our own milk...

...and butter and cheese, cream,
the whole bit.

Well, why didn't she tell Louise?

-Probably afraid she'd steal the idea.
-Steal the idea?

-Hadn't we better get over there?
-Yeah.

Sure, sure. Let's get over there.

Now, you've had enough,
whoever you are.

You're gonna have to go back
a different way...

...if that lobby's as crowded
as Darrin says.

Oh, what would be the best way?

Why didn't I think of that before?

Well, aren't you cute.

Okay, you'll be back
to normal in a minute.

If you wanna blame anybody,
blame the fuzz.

-lf he don't bug me, I don't lose her.
-Look.

Nobody's got any right
dumping a cow on my beat anyhow.

Beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder...

...and, boy, is it ever
in the eyes of this beholder.

-Your chariot awaits.
-How nice. Five, please.

Honey, going up with you
is like going to heaven.

I bet you say that to all
your female passengers all the time.

Only the class A, number-one lookers
like you.

All day long, fat dames,
skinny dames...

...tall dames, short dames,
old dames.

Only one in a hundred
is a doll like you.

I don't give the eye to every one of that
hundred either. Only maybe 15 percent.

I guess I'm giving the eye
to the right percentage, though, huh?

-You're gonna get a fat lip.
-Yeah?

You know how many years
you can get for hitting a civilian?

Mr. Morton, I am convinced
that there is dirty work afoot.

There has to be, with that man
hanging around here like a vulture.

Are you pointing
your stubby little finger at me, Whittle?

Larry, take it easy.

-Sam.
-All this fuss about a cow?

-Well, where is it?
-Coming down.

Coming down?

I think someone should know
it's a very stupid cow.

There she is.

There's my Ginger.

Oh, there's my baby.

Papa's little girl. Yes, sir.

That's my little girl.

Isn't that sweet? You see,
everything turns out for the best.

Yeah, when you're around to give
everything a big assist, it does.

You know your papa, don't you?
Yes, you do.

Well....

Well, as I said,
I goof, goof, goof, goof...

...and spoil everything
for everybody.

Oh, I wish I were a doorknob.

Now, Aunt Clara,
you've got to stop blaming yourself.

Yeah, let Samantha
take a couple of bows.

I'll get it.

I'll get the door.

-Hello?
-Yes?

Oh, Larry.

What? We got the Morton account?

-That's great. What cinched the deal?
-Oh, really?

When you told Mr. Morton
that Sam and I were such cow fanciers?

What'd you tell him a thing
like that for?

What difference does it make
as long as it cinched the deal?

Well, thank you very much.

Mr. Morton is sending us
a little something?

Well, that's very nice.

Yeah, okay, Larry. Yeah. Goodbye.

We got the Morton account.

On account
of we're such cow fanciers.

And Mr. Morton is sending us
a little something.

Is that good?

Well, when is he sending it?

He already has.
That was the delivery man.

He's bringing Mr. Morton's
little something around back.

You see, Aunt Clara?

All of your mistakes turned out to be
wonderful mistakes.

-Oh, really, Samantha.
-lncluding the cows.

What cows?

The ones from Mr. Morton.

-Thanks a lot, Aunt Clara.
-Yes. Thank you, Aunt Clara.

Well, you're very welcome.

-How--?
-Aunt Clara, we love cows.

-Don't we?
-Oh, yes, yes.

Yes. You love....

Well, it takes all kinds, you know.

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