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1
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,534
( upbeat blues theme playing )
2
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,322
Morning, Reggie.
3
00:00:25,824 --> 00:00:29,293
Hey, uh, Little Boy Blue.
4
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:30,795
If that's your Vespa
parked out front,
5
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:32,130
you might wanna
get out there.
6
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,332
A couple of bums seem
to think it's the men's room.
7
00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:40,172
Were there really
any bums out there?
8
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,075
No, he was in my seat.
9
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,310
Great. So you chased away
a paying customer
10
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,211
and instead I get
Diamond Jim Becker
11
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,314
and his bottomless
cup of coffee.
12
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,982
And keep it coming too, please.
13
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,216
W-what is it with that kid?
14
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,352
You got blue hair and you're not
from the Planet Krypton,
15
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,321
you got a serious problem.
16
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:59,624
What? He doesn't have a right
to express himself?
17
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,426
Not everybody
can be a symphony in brown.
18
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:05,463
Hey, I-I don't need
to express myself with clothing.
19
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,932
You know, I have ideas.
20
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:10,035
Name one.
Leave me alone, will ya?
21
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:11,503
Hey, Jake,
where you going?
22
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,004
Oh, I'm going to meet
Tonya for lunch.
23
00:01:14,006 --> 00:01:15,407
How do I look?
24
00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:19,043
Well, your fly's open,
there, pal.
25
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,313
Look, John, I don't have time
to play another round
26
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:23,648
of Let's Fool
the Blind Guy, okay?
27
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,817
No, I'm-- I'm telling ya,
your fly's open.
28
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:26,818
Jake, don't listen to him.
29
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,954
You look great.
Go have fun.
30
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:32,123
Thank you. Nice try, John.
31
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:35,660
Boy, I tell ya,
that's cold, Reg.
32
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,529
The guys trusts you
and you lie to him.
33
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,231
Yeah, well, he's been
gettin' on my nerves today.
34
00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:52,210
Margaret?
Mm.
35
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,846
What's this?
36
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,347
Tss. Your desk calendar.
No, this.
37
00:01:56,349 --> 00:01:58,216
This note about
the fundraiser.
38
00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,350
You wrote it in.
39
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,385
Yes, the Children's Hospital
fundraiser.
40
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,521
I know that,
but it's for this Sunday.
41
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:05,623
Come on, you're supposed
to be on the stick here
42
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,292
and reminding me
about stuff like that.
43
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,926
MARGARET:
John, don't forget.
44
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:11,128
The Children's Hospitalfundraiser is next month.
45
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:14,032
BECKER:
Don't bother me with that now.Just write it in my calendar.
46
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:14,932
( clicks )
47
00:02:17,202 --> 00:02:18,670
All right, all right.
48
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:22,740
We can go round and round
on who said what to whom.
49
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:25,644
But the point is
that it's a black tie affair
50
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:28,313
and I don't have time to--
To-- To rent a tux.
51
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,649
I ordered
your tuxedo last week.
52
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,383
It'll be here Friday.
53
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:33,718
Oh.
54
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,821
Well, I made other plans
and I can't get out of them.
55
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,889
Which are?
56
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:38,989
Oh, come on,
Margaret, please.
57
00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:41,560
I don't like
going to those things.
58
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,194
They're-- They're full
of pompous socialites
59
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,230
and those goofy
pediatricians.
60
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:47,165
Besides, I-I don't have a date.
61
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,133
And if I-- If I go alone,
everyone tries to fix me up
62
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:53,004
with their big-boned niece
with the inner beauty.
63
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,608
Why don't you
just ask Reggie?
64
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,243
Reggie?
Reggie down at the diner?
65
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,612
No, bad idea.
66
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,581
Why? You seem to get along
67
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,849
and she's certainly
pretty enough.
68
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,084
No, if Reggie and I
go out on a date,
69
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,585
it would just
screw everything up.
70
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:10,287
I mean, we-- We already have
the perfect relationship.
71
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:13,258
I mean, she cooks my food,
cleans up after me,
72
00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:16,160
neither of us listens to a thing
the other says.
73
00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:19,764
You know, it's like marriage
without the heavy lifting.
74
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,066
Well, you better ask someone
75
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,002
because you are going
to that dinner.
76
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,470
It's for a good cause.
77
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,971
And, frankly, John,
78
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:29,874
your world's been getting
a little too small lately.
79
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,209
So resign yourself.
80
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,477
You are going.
81
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:35,113
Yeah, w-why don't you
go with me?
82
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,047
Ha!
83
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:38,783
What?
84
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:41,719
I can't stand those people.
85
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,595
Hey, Jake.
Hey.
86
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:52,697
Where's Reggie?
87
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,099
She went out shopping.
88
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,167
Oh, you know, w-what is it
with women and shopping?
89
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,402
It's like an addiction.
90
00:04:01,139 --> 00:04:02,941
So how did your lunch
with Tonya go?
91
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,642
Don't ask.
Okay.
92
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,644
We're having a good time
at lunch, right?
93
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,847
All of a sudden,
it's like an Arctic wind
94
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,248
blows across the table.
95
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,149
For the whole rest of the meal,
96
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,917
she gives me
the silent treatment.
97
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,320
And I still have no idea why.
98
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,254
You gotta accept it, Jake.
99
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,789
As soon as you get involved
with a woman,
100
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,323
it's only a matter of time
101
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:22,961
before you're the next
contestant on Guess Why I'm Mad.
102
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,495
Oh, yeah.
That's on right before
103
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,731
All I Do For Youand This Is The Thanks I Get.
104
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,999
( chuckling ):
Yeah.
105
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,267
So, what's up with you?
106
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,137
Oh, boy, I'm in the middle
of a nightmare.
107
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,607
I gotta go to this really nice
dinner on Sunday.
108
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,174
It's a hard knock life,
isn't it?
109
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:39,744
No, no, it's-- It's--
You don't understand.
110
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,878
It's a fundraiser.
111
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,981
And the bad part is I have
to show up with a date.
112
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,149
( chuckles )
113
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,717
So I went out to buy
114
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,618
a friend of mine's baby
a gift.
115
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,188
Well, you're not
gonna believe this.
116
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:54,359
This is a dress
I bought for the kid.
117
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:57,695
This is a dress
I bought for myself.
118
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:02,534
This one cost three times
as much as this one.
119
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,602
If you put that one on
and walk around outside,
120
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,472
I bet you could earn back
what you spent on both.
121
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,178
In certain neighborhoods,
so could you.
122
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,650
Hey, uh, why don't you
take Reggie to that dinner?
123
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,751
What, 'cause
we get along so well?
124
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:22,454
Well, you've gone out
together before.
125
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,654
You went to that
Vivaldi concert.
126
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,090
No, no,
that's different.
127
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,958
This entails preplanning,
formal wear and it could--
128
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,294
It could turn romantic.
129
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,029
It doesn't have to.
130
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,731
Ah. I look pretty good
in formal wear.
131
00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:42,673
Oh, Dr. Becker?
Yeah.
132
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,476
I heard you needed a date
for your dinner on Sunday
133
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,944
and, well,
I had an idea.
134
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:49,213
You must be so proud.
135
00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,649
Why don't you
ask Reggie?
136
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,818
Did Margaret
tell you to do this?
137
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,521
No, it's the one thing today
she didn't tell me to do.
138
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:58,590
But think about it.
139
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,591
She already knows
what you're like,
140
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,961
she's already seen
the way you dress,
141
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,829
and if you've been
to the diner today,
142
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,865
she's seen that green thing
between your teeth.
143
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,666
You're good to go.
144
00:06:13,572 --> 00:06:16,074
Mr. Kirkham,
how'd this happen?
145
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,877
Long story. When will I be able
to take this thing off?
146
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,745
Well, looks like
a few more weeks.
147
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,180
That's a pretty bad break.
148
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,982
Seriously, how'd this happen?
149
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,353
If I tell you, will you promise
not to laugh because I really--
150
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,188
I can't take any more laughing.
151
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,956
I really don't find
anything funny
152
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,893
about a broken collarbone,
Mr. Kirkham.
153
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,862
Well, the other day,
154
00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,530
I-I was walking by
that construction site
155
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,099
over there on Belson Street.
156
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,300
Mm-hm.
157
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:45,069
And they've got some of those
portable toilets there
158
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:49,473
and, well, let's just say,
I really had to go.
159
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,142
So I figured, what the hell.
You know.
160
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,211
I picked one, I got in
and locked the door and--
161
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:57,015
And I sat down.
162
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,483
Go on.
163
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:03,187
Okay. All of a sudden,
it started to shake.
164
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:06,190
Then next thing I know,
it's going up in the air.
165
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:08,092
Turns out there
was a crane
166
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,361
that was putting the toilet
on the back of a truck
167
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,130
where it got jammed up
against other toilets
168
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,931
and I couldn't get out.
169
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,034
So there I am
170
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,368
banging on the door
with one hand,
171
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,870
pulling my pants up with
the other and yelling for help.
172
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:21,806
And nobody heard me.
173
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,875
And then--
Then the truck takes off.
174
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,843
( snorts )
175
00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:31,181
We hit a pothole
176
00:07:31,183 --> 00:07:33,984
and the toilet went flying
off the truck.
177
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:39,357
There was a moment when
the toilet went upside down.
178
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,925
I swear, I-I would've
traded places
179
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,527
with anyone
in the universe.
180
00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:45,195
And--
( snorting )
181
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:51,201
It rolled down a hill.
182
00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:55,706
Finally came to a stop
in a schoolyard playground.
183
00:07:57,576 --> 00:08:00,344
Kids, I mean,
they can be so cruel.
184
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:05,716
The laughter started there
and it moved to the paramedics
185
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:09,987
and-- Then it went through
the entire hospital.
186
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,190
I've never been so humiliated.
187
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:15,125
Wow. Some people
can be so insensitive.
188
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:16,026
You know something?
189
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:17,428
Your shoulder's
healing just fine.
190
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,397
Why don't you come back
in a couple of weeks
191
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,199
and we'll take some new x-rays?
192
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,066
Thanks, doctor.
193
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,969
And, uh, thank you
for understanding.
194
00:08:27,505 --> 00:08:29,673
( Becker laughing obnoxiously )
195
00:08:34,246 --> 00:08:36,013
S-sorry.
196
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:38,949
( chuckling )
197
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:43,621
( knock on door )
198
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,623
Yeah?
199
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,625
John, here's your tuxedo.
200
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,260
And the hospital
called to confirm
201
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,995
your reservations
at the dinner.
202
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,398
Well, I-I still
don't have a date.
203
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,834
Well, I suppose you could ask
your doctor friend Julie.
204
00:08:56,836 --> 00:09:00,404
You know, the one you call
when you get a little cranky.
205
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:04,175
And then the next morning,
you're a lot less cranky.
206
00:09:05,343 --> 00:09:06,944
Julie and I don't go out.
207
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,547
We stay in. It works for us.
208
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,783
Well, there's always Reggie.
209
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,118
Hey, Margaret,
we've already been through this.
210
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,988
I just don't understand
why you're being so stubborn.
211
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,756
Because you don't
understand women.
212
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:20,558
I am a woman.
213
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,327
That's why you have
no perspective.
214
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,229
Oh, well, then,
please enlighten me.
215
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,165
All right.
216
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,100
Women are crazy.
217
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,602
They-- They never take
anything at face value.
218
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,838
Everything has a deeper meaning.
219
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,506
If I go out with Reggie,
220
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,076
she's not gonna look at this
as just one date.
221
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,878
She's gonna think of this
as the start of a relationship.
222
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,713
I'm gonna have to tell her
that it isn't.
223
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,515
Then there'll be
tension between us
224
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,018
and I'll have to find
a new place to get my coffee
225
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,253
and my whole world
will be in turmoil.
226
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,354
And you know what happens
227
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,590
when my head's
not screwed on straight.
228
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,993
I might misdiagnose somebody
and then the guy would sue us
229
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,294
and I-I'd lose everything
230
00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,096
and have to shut down
the practice and--
231
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,200
And you and Linda
would be out on the street.
232
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,968
And all of this is gonna happen
233
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:07,972
just because you asked Reggie
to that dinner?
234
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,607
Exactly.
235
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,810
Ooh. Nobody would
believe this.
236
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:16,847
Boy, am I glad
I got this on tape.
237
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:45,209
Hello.
Oh, jeez.
238
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,279
Would you stop coming in here
when I'm not home, please?
239
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,647
Hey, you've been
busting up my chops
240
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,582
to fix your freaking
shower drip.
241
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,518
So I fixed
your freaking shower drip.
242
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,219
I called ya two months ago.
243
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:58,723
Yeah, I didn't think
I'd be here so fast either.
244
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,893
A tuxedo.
Where are you going?
245
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,093
None of your business.
246
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:06,464
Excuse me for trying to make
some freaking small talk.
247
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,233
Yeah, well, if it will get you
out of here any quicker,
248
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,901
I have to go to a formal dinner.
249
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,036
Now, goodbye.
250
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:13,504
Who are you going with?
251
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,973
I haven't decided yet.
Goodbye.
252
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,809
Hey, maybe Alexi can help.
253
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,110
Do you like big breasts?
254
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,144
What?
255
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:23,647
How about Miss Munchnik
in 5B?
256
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:26,250
She's 65 years old.
257
00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:28,085
But no moustache.
Has her own teeth.
258
00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,621
In Russia,
she'd be a real catch.
259
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,923
Okay, okay,
I'll keep thinking.
260
00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:40,131
Wait one freaking minute.
I got it.
261
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,800
What about that, uh,
Reggie, down at diner?
262
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:45,168
All right, all right,
263
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:47,739
now this is getting surreal.
264
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,941
Reggie's very much
hot broad.
265
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,877
We are completely wrong
for each other.
266
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,012
It would totally
change our relationship
267
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,414
and why am I telling you this?
268
00:11:58,283 --> 00:11:59,817
Screw me.
269
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,118
I thought
we were bonding.
270
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,187
Yeah, well,
we're not.
271
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,056
I still think
you should ask that Reggie.
272
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,691
Hey, go away,
will ya?
273
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,959
You're so freaking
closed off emotionally.
274
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,896
I think you have hard time
relating to women.
275
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,530
Hey, Brezhnev,
you know,
276
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:16,167
take your tool belt
and get out of here, will ya?
277
00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:20,871
I do not have trouble
relating to women.
278
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,806
( bell ringing )
279
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:27,177
Holly.
280
00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:30,548
John Becker.
281
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,649
I know you, John.
282
00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,317
You've been in my house.
283
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,587
Oh, yeah. Listen, you wanna go
to the dance with me on Friday?
284
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,890
Sure, that would be nice.
285
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,891
Good. Just don't wear
one of those
286
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:42,760
stupid-looking
poofy dresses.
287
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,428
And don't expect
a corsage either.
288
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:47,497
Five bucks for a lousy flower,
what's the point?
289
00:12:47,499 --> 00:12:50,067
Oh, and tell your parents we're
not posing for dopey pictures
290
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:53,004
in front of the mantle so they
can say how grown up we look.
291
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,605
It's a load of crap.
292
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,106
And trust me,
those pictures will come back
293
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:57,408
to haunt us someday.
294
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,742
Better yet,
just meet me outside.
295
00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:01,312
Your house has kind of
a funny smell.
296
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,580
Do you know what, John?
297
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,282
I just changed my mind.
298
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,984
I'd rather not
go to the dance with you.
299
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,456
Lesbian.
300
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:16,327
( bell rings )
301
00:13:27,905 --> 00:13:29,807
Hey, Jake.
Hey.
302
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,875
Where's Reggie today?
303
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,376
Oh, she's at the bank.
304
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,678
Can I pour you some coffee?
305
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,179
I don't know.
Let's see.
306
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:38,449
Go ahead.
307
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:44,856
That's not bad, not bad.
308
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,190
Oh, yeah?
309
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:48,593
Hey, Jake, I'm back.
310
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,927
Thanks for watching
the counter.
311
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,129
Becker, I'll be with you
in a minute.
312
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:54,398
So you gonna break down
and ask Reggie to that dinner?
313
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,399
What is it with you people?
314
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:57,468
Do you have a club
or something?
315
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,204
I just thought you two
would be good together. Man.
316
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:06,510
Okay, Becker,
what do you need?
317
00:14:08,246 --> 00:14:10,648
I just wanna ask you a question.
318
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,783
There's a--
There's a dinner Sunday night.
319
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,152
It's a fundraiser. Formal.
320
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:19,223
It's for Children's Hospital.
You wanna go?
321
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:22,727
You're asking me out
on a real date?
322
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,930
Well, yeah.
Look, if it's a bad idea--
323
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,265
I'd love to.
324
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,134
Since the first time
you walked in here,
325
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,870
I've been hoping
you'd ask me out.
326
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,940
I've always been attracted
to you, I just...
327
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,808
I've been too afraid
to make the first move.
328
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:42,013
But now that I know you feel
the same way I do...
329
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,815
( sighs )
330
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:49,453
I really think this could be
so much more than a date.
331
00:14:52,824 --> 00:14:54,825
We could have
a future together.
332
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,061
I-I know it's not like me
to gush like this.
333
00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,030
Just, oh, I'm so happy.
334
00:15:01,232 --> 00:15:02,499
Okay, Becker.
335
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:03,601
So, what do you need?
336
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,435
Nothing. Uh...
337
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,237
Some more coffee, please.
338
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,781
Hey, Theresa.
How are you feeling?
339
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:19,249
Still exhausted.
340
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,584
Yeah.
341
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,387
Well, I got your
test results back.
342
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,889
Good news is you don't have
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,
343
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,924
you don't have Epstein-Barr.
344
00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:30,962
Looks to me like you're tired
just 'cause you're tired.
345
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:34,665
Oh, good. So then it's
just because of my life.
346
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,400
Yeah. See, I thought things
were getting better now.
347
00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:39,737
That guy you were seeing
was extradited, right?
348
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,072
That's good news.
349
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:43,240
Yeah.
350
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,077
Well, work okay? Kids okay?
351
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,111
Yeah, oh, kids are great.
352
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,247
Healthy as can be.
Healthy damn kids.
353
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,149
Four boys.
354
00:15:52,151 --> 00:15:53,884
Doctor, what is it
with boys?
355
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,320
They don't stop.
They don't fear anything.
356
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,922
All they do is run,
scream and jump.
357
00:15:58,924 --> 00:16:00,558
And they spit.
Mm.
358
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,859
What is that about?
359
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,194
Uh, it's a guy thing.
360
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,096
Thing is I don't get
two seconds to myself.
361
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,432
I'd give anything
for one decent night of sleep.
362
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,433
Yeah. Know what?
Maybe we ought to think about
363
00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:12,536
getting someone
to help you out with the kids.
364
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:13,437
Yeah, I-- I have somebody.
365
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:14,571
A couple times a week
366
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:16,440
I leave 'em with my neighbor,
Mrs. Ramirez.
367
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,707
But she's got a pacemaker,
368
00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:20,277
so it's just a matter of time
before they kill her.
369
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,046
And today, they're with
my sister Donna.
370
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:24,615
But every time I ask her,
I get "the lecture".
371
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,649
Big shot.
372
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:26,817
Just 'cause
she got a husband.
373
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,285
( knock on door )
374
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,687
Well, don't--
Don't be down on yourself.
375
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,823
Now, you came close
a couple of times, right? Yeah?
376
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,658
John, I've got Mr. Colpits
on the phone.
377
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,992
He's asking
about his meds.
378
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:38,262
Excuse me
for a second, Theresa.
379
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,462
Yeah?
380
00:16:39,464 --> 00:16:40,831
He said he's feeling
light-headed
381
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,365
since starting
the Zestril.
382
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:44,501
All right, tell him to drop
his dose to five milligrams.
383
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,970
Then have him come in
to re-check his blood pressure.
384
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,439
Oh, and you got a message
from someone named Pam.
385
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:52,043
Yeah?
She said she can't make it Sunday.
386
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,778
Ah, c-- Yeah, what's her excuse?
387
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,112
She said, and I quote:
388
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,114
"After our last date,
389
00:16:57,116 --> 00:17:00,518
I'm surprised he had the nerve
to call me again."
390
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,087
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
391
00:17:22,407 --> 00:17:23,673
( knock on door )
392
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,042
Dr. Becker?
Yeah?
393
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,643
This is my friend
Heather.
394
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,145
I think she'd make
an excellent date
395
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,947
for your dinner
on Sunday.
396
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,850
You've gotta
be kidding me.
397
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:35,218
"Heather is an Aquarian
398
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:39,623
"who enjoys long walks
on the beach and rave clubs.
399
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,426
"Her turn-ons include
any book on tape,
400
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:45,563
"scented candles and honesty.
401
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,799
"Her turn-offs include fur,
Kenny G...
402
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:52,603
and carbohydrates."
403
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,705
I'll leave you two alone
to get acquainted.
404
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:56,974
What? No, hey,
Linda, don't do--
405
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,642
Yay.
406
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:03,080
Okay, uh, Linda's filled me in
on your abrasive personality
407
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,716
and your utter disregard
for other people's feelings,
408
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,217
but I'm okay with that.
409
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,420
In fact, I can fix you.
410
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,721
It's what I do.
411
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:15,825
Margaret.
412
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,704
( laughing )
413
00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:32,576
What are you reading?
414
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,778
Mr. Kirkham's file.
415
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,980
I just got to the part
where the toilet
416
00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:38,515
fell off the back
of the truck.
417
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,550
Yeah.
418
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:43,587
Mar-- Margaret, listen,
he's our patient.
419
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,422
We-- We need
to be professional here.
420
00:18:46,524 --> 00:18:48,792
( both laughing )
421
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,195
Did you...?
Did you...?
422
00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:54,931
Dr. Becker, I can't believe
you let me sleep like that.
423
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,333
You know I gotta
get home to my kids.
424
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,768
My sister's
gonna kill me.
425
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,570
Relax, relax,
everything's fine.
426
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,571
Your kids are okay.
427
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,739
I called your sister
428
00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,274
and I told her you'd be
coming home late.
429
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,275
Oh, thanks.
430
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,675
Yeah, listen,
about your children.
431
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:09,113
Hey, you know, I got a couple
of patients that are retired.
432
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,647
They got a lot of time
on their hands.
433
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,716
Maybe I should
give them a call.
434
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,953
That's really nice.
Especially for you.
435
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,521
Yeah. Goodnight.
436
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:20,223
Hey, Dr. Becker,
437
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:21,892
I know it's probably
none of my business,
438
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,060
but, uh,
Linda was telling me
439
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,763
that you need a date
for some dinner--
440
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,497
No, no, no,
uh, thanks, really.
441
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,533
I-- I don't date patients.
442
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,735
Not me.
443
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,104
No, I-I was thinking of Reggie
down at the diner.
444
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,673
You know what--?
Hey, you, go home.
445
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:37,741
What's going on around here?
446
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,142
Every time I turn around
447
00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:41,645
somebody's telling me
I should go out with Reggie.
448
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:44,215
I keep telling 'em
it's a terrible idea.
449
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,149
Well, here's something
I bet never occurred to you.
450
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:48,752
You could be wrong.
451
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,588
I am not.
452
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,605
Hey, Jake.
Hey, John.
453
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,173
What are you
doing here so late?
454
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,808
Oh, I've just been thinking
I'm making too much
455
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,110
out of this whole
dinner thing.
456
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,280
You know, may--
Maybe I should just take Reggie.
457
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,514
It'd be good for her
to get out.
458
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:20,584
You know, do her hair,
get dressed up.
459
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:21,985
'Cause, you know,
frankly,
460
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:25,322
her world's been getting
a little small lately.
461
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:28,858
I mean, she's got, you know,
the diner and, well, you.
462
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:29,960
You know, not much.
463
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:34,831
Oh, hey, Becker.
464
00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:36,799
Just about to close up.
What do you need?
465
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,837
I just wanna ask you a question.
466
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:44,508
There's a dinner, Sunday.
It's a fundraiser, formal.
467
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:48,445
It's for Children's Hospital.
You wanna go?
468
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,914
You're asking me out on a date?
469
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:54,084
Well, yeah.
Look, if it's a bad idea--
470
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:54,818
No, not at all.
471
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,320
I bet we'd have a good time.
472
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,688
But, Becker, I--
I just wanna be clear.
473
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,690
Let's not make this
more than it is.
474
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:02,292
It's not a big deal.
475
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,060
It's not like
we're starting a relationship.
476
00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:08,064
It's just two friends going out
one night to have a few laughs.
477
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,233
Perfect.
478
00:21:10,868 --> 00:21:12,969
Oh, hey, Becker.
479
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:15,238
I was just about to close up.
What do you need?
480
00:21:16,374 --> 00:21:17,974
I just wanna ask you a question.
481
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:21,745
There's a dinner, Sunday.
It's a fundraiser, formal.
482
00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:24,648
It's for Children's Hospital.
You wanna go?
483
00:21:25,783 --> 00:21:27,584
Nah, I don't think so.
484
00:21:28,219 --> 00:21:30,054
What?
485
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:31,722
Oh, no offence, Becker.
486
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:35,025
But, uh, I don't know, it sounds
kind of like a boring evening.
487
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:36,326
You know, stuck-up people,
488
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:39,196
dull speeches,
not my idea of fun.
489
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,664
But thanks anyway.
490
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:43,067
Hey, uh, Jake,
mind closing up for me?
491
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:44,133
Okay.
Thanks.
492
00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:49,873
Lesbian.
493
00:21:55,613 --> 00:21:57,548
( upbeat blues theme playing )
494
00:21:57,598 --> 00:22:02,148
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