All language subtitles for Arrested Development s04e17 Dire Straights.eng

[narrator] Previously on Arrested
Development: Fateful Consequences...

You are gonna be my key advisor.

[narrator] Lindsay Bluth was working for
and dating the politician Herbert Love.

Perfume?

[narrator] Unbeknownst to her, however,

the work she was doing
was dating him...

That's my cologne. I want you to wear it.

That way, if my wife smells
anything on me,

it's me.

[narrator] As arranged
by her daughter Maeby.

Discretion is appreciated. To be clear,
I want to hire her for prostitution.

I'm gonna charge you for that.

[narrator] Lindsay took to her new
position like a fish to water...

-[squeaking]
-advising him all over town.

Maeby's father Tobias
had also found love.

And scene, as they say.

[narrator] After briefly losing her...

[chattering]

[narrator] ...a few times

and legal trouble when he tried to cash in
on her fame from The Fantastic Four...

-This is a cease and desist.
-You're under arrest.

[narrator] ...a few times.

She left him entirely.

I have a suit made of rocks.

[narrator]
But soon, he had a way to win her back.

We shall mount a musical
of The Fantastic Four.

I love it.

[narrator]  Although he still had
some issues to address...

[singing]

♪ Fantastic Four ♪

-[narrator] ...as did she.
-Is she all right?

[narrator] Michael, meanwhile,

had show business aspirations
of his own...

I am a movie producer now,
producing a movie.

They've got me in this enormous office...

[narrator] After falling into debt
when the real estate market had collapsed.

Although, he was mostly doing so
to impress an actress...

You seriously would be great
for this part.

I haven't been in work mode
for a while, to be honest.

I've been raising my son.

I have a son.

[narrator]
Whom he wasn't completely honest with.

Yours?

Seven in July.

-a few times.
-Teen.

Seventeen.

Michael thought the actress
was director Ron Howard's girlfriend.

But she was actually Ron's daughter.

I'm sure you've all got girls up here
in Hollywood, huh?

Brian's got two boys.

[narrator] But making the movie meant
getting the life rights

from a son who wanted his privacy.

I didn't really mean privacy from him.

[narrator] And with whom Michael
did not want to look needy.

You want your space from me? Look...

-Listen, hey, hey, look, look, listen.
-[narrator] But a meeting was set.

You're going to make me look
like a big shot in front of my son.

-[narrator] And then forestalled.
-Hey, buddy.

I am having real
trouble getting up there.

This traffic is unbelievable.

[narrator] As it turns out,
George Michael had arrived earlier

and was spotted by the same actress
Michael was falling for.

George?

[narrator]
Whom he'd earlier given a fake name to.

George Maharis?

I see you.

[narrator] And hoping not to be exposed
as himself,

forestalled the meeting himself...

I just hope there are no kids
on that plane.

[narrator] ...a few times.

I'm going to video this
and send it in to the news.

They're being real tight-assed
about this camera thing.

[narrator] Which led to this.

-Hey.
-Hey.

Sorry, that was my dad.
He's actually great.

If anything, I've been kind of
a lousy son lately,

but, you know, it's just...

I mean, at some point,
I've got to start living my life.

I know. I mean, my dad is
the nicest guy in the world,

but it's like he's always checking up
on me.

-Does yours do that?
-Once in a while.

You want to go in here?

[narrator]
And Michael found himself confiding

in the man he thought was his rival.

I wouldn't even think of my son
as my brother.

[narrator] Although this is something
a Bluth brother would do.

He's busy.

[narrator]
Things were looking up for George Michael.

He was finally in a relationship
and feeling good.

Okay, I'm good!

That's it for me.
You guys keep playing.[laughs]

Oh, too funny.

[narrator]
Now the story of what happened

when one man who was holding
his family together finally let go

and the separate journeys
that eventually gave them no choice

but to come back together.

It's Arrested Development:
Fateful Consequences.

Maeby decided to check in
with her family...

How's the love affair going?
-...business.

It's okay, but he always wants
to do the same old thing

in the same old place.

The back of the limo.

Well,
why don't you take him out to dinner?

You know, guys who are used to
being charged...

I mean, in charge...

sometimes like it
when the other person takes control.

You know what I mean?

Hmm. Well, maybe I will.

I'll have to take him to Swappigans.

No, no, no.
How about the Balboa Yacht Club?

-Put it on the family tab.
-Of course.

All right, have fun. I wish
I could go out to dinner.

What am I doing?
This is disgusting.

I've got money coming in.

[narrator] Her father, meanwhile,
had no money coming in,

and had a production
that sorely needed it.

♪ Fantastic Four ♪

Am I crazy, or is this good?

It's really good.

[narrator]
And then Tobias asked the question

that nobody was thinking.

How much would it cost to do this right?

I mean, really right.

Do a Broadway-level production

of the eight minutes
we have right now?

Ballpark.

$700,000.

What if, I could raise between
$50 and $100?

How much of the remainder
could you generate?

Well, if my sister could
call in some debts...

-probably all of it.
-Oh.

But that means we'd have to
use the Cinco show as a preview,

and she would want to know that
we have the rights.

Of course.

[narrator]
A problem that continued to plague him.

Who are you supposed to be?

I'm The Thing from Fantastic Four.

You've been served [bleeps]

[narrator] Even after he'd lost DeBrie...

and hit rock bottom.

Someone should remake that movie.

Wait a minute.
You still don't have the rights?

Well, not yet. Not yet.
But I was going to ask you about that.

Who produced the one you were in?

I think it's Imagine Generic,
Ron Howard's company.

[narrator]
Imagine Generic was a division set up

to extend the rights to films
that studios weren't prepared to make yet.

I just hope the three of us make it back.

These quickie features

seldom were tested on actual audiences.

[man on screen]
Houston, we're having a baby.

I don't want to get arrested again
because we don't have the rights.

Okay, no. Don't-- all right.
No. All right, settle down. Settle down.

This has happened
to every Broadway show

in the history of Broadway shows.

And I swear I shall acquire the rights.

[narrator]
And that night, since Herbert

couldn't officially spend money
on Lindsay,

and Lindsay hadn't told Herbert
who she really was...

I'll get us checked in.

[narrator] Lindsay had to pay for dinner
the way she always had...

Bluth, I made a reservation...

[narrator] By secretly putting it
on her family tab.

I'm sorry, the Bluths have been seated.

[narrator] But she wasn't the only Bluth

pretending to be something
they weren't that night.

Who's the cheap redhead?

Well, hello.

Hello... indeed.

Look at you. What are you doing here?

I need the membership.
I'm taking my boss out to dinner.

It's too late. I already made a deal
with Dad for it.

[narrator]
When George Sr. made it a condition

of giving Michael his movie rights.

Can you help me, then, with Love?

Of course I will.

If you do something for me.

I would like to use your membership
at the Balboa Club.

The girl I've been telling you about,

she likes nice things,
and if everything goes well tonight,

I think I may want
to take her out for a nice dinner.

You really like this girl?

-[sighs] She's Tracey.
-Oh!

Fat Tracey or thin Tracey
at the end?

I think, just on this,
you owe me the membership.

We're kind of maxed out at the club,
but if you show them my card,

I'm sure they won't turn you away
at the door.

You'd do this for me?

I will if you...

This is why I had to ask you for the in
with Herbert Love.

Exactly, and that's why
you are leaving, and I'm going to stay

because I'm the one
who did the favor.

I got Love against the wall.

Plus I've got to impress him.

He's making me part of his campaign.

I'm sorry, there seems
to have been a mix-up.

A merry one. A merry one.

I haven't been on a date
in a very long time.

and she's going out with Ron Howard,
so I need to impress her.

[narrator] Actually, she was his daughter,
but Michael still didn't know that.

Great to see you.
And you look so good.

So do you.

I need to impress him too,

because I finally found someone

-who respects me for who I am.
-So does mine.

Listen, we'll share it, okay?

Got it? Great.

My name is Cindy Featherbottom.

I used to be a real estate tycoon,

now I'm an impressive producer. Got it?

-Got it.
-Eat light.

This is my date. This is Rebel Alley.

And my boss Herbert Love.

-High-low.
-High-low...

Just like your plan to hurt the poor.

I thought it was
about neglecting the poor.

I guess the special tonight
is red snapper.

How do you know this woman?

She is... um...

Look at you!

-High school.
-Brother and sister.

We can't be brother-sister.
She knows about the family.

-We don't.
-Just met.

So let's eat.

[narrator]
And that's how Lindsay found herself

on a very awkward double date
with her brother.

Is everybody's food
as delicious as my side salad?

[narrator] And a couple of glasses
of white wine in,

Rebel started to espouse
her liberal agenda.

It's just a little hard to sit
two feet away from someone

who doesn't believe in paying
for a woman's contraception.

Well, to be fair,
he does pay for the room.

Is there anything better
than the great American scallop?

Look how he changes the subject.

Aren't you glad your teenager's
not here to see this?

You have a teenager?

I'm a movie...

Movie producer.

Producing a movie right now.

Rebel's in it, for Imagine Entertainment.

Oh. Is that Ron Howard's company?

-Yeah.
-Yes.

I don't want to be the one to say it,
but I hate that guy.

He's just another
Hollywood liberal big shot.

There are a lot of
those Ron Howards out there

that do abuse their power,

but I will tell you, sir,
that I do not do that.

Don't you have to have power
to abuse the power?

I am not going to sit here
and defend Ron Howard

to someone who's never achieved half
of what he's achieved.

Are you saying that to him or me?

I forgot how touchy
these Hollywood people can be.

I'm not. Are you saying that I am?

Maybe Ron Howard is,
but I mean, I don't know.

But I'm not. And I am also not one
of those Beverly Hills billionaires

who can't go two minutes without putting
his phone to his--

I got to take this.
Hold on one second. Hello.

Hey, George Michael.
You stuck in traffic, pal?

I just feel terrible that we couldn't
get together the other night,

and I miss you,
but I'm free all night if--

Listen, I'm in the middle
of a film meeting...

It's a producer thing.

People in politics involved, and I just...

I can't get away this time.

[narrator] It seemed the two men were
growing less alike every day.

And back at the table...

Lindsay found herself torn,

between who she was with
and who she wanted to be.

But what do I know?

-I'm just shallow, Hollywood--
-[cell phone rings]

God, I've got to get this.

It could be my agent.

Hello?

Hi, Rebel, it's George Maharis.

My night just freed up,

and I was wondering if you wanted...

I thought you were having dinner
with your dad.

You know, older guy,

the night ends for them at eight.

I think I could use a break
from the old guys.

And I've already
got some birth control in me

that I paid for myself,

and I'd hate to let it go to waste.

That's perfect, because
I'm not quite ready to have children.

That is one redhead I do not
want to have sexual relations with.

[laughing]

Well...

So, are we having dessert?

-No.
-No.

Well, I don't want to be
the one to say it,

but if we are not going to have dessert,
then I think I am going to leave.

No.

But we're gonna discuss
those new positions tonight.

Wasn't that the plan?

I think the best position
for me to be in tonight

is with my wife,

and tomorrow I'm taking
my wife and children

to see the beautiful
American ocean.

[crowd applauding]

-Hey.
-Hey. I have to go.

-My son is sick, so...
-Oh, no.

I have to go.

Rebel. Rebel, let me come.

I'm great with kids.

It's not about the kid.
I'm not comfortable here.

Okay. Are you off to see him?

Listen, if you've got a problem
with me seeing other people,

why don't you just come out and say it?

No, I can. What do you mean?
I can handle that.

We'll see each other a la carte.

Like the $18 baked potato you ordered
that you didn't touch.

Yeah, you're not comfortable.

No, listen. Rebel, Rebel.

Fine. See you later.

Say hi to Ron Howard for me.

Well, hope you're happy.
My girlfriend left,

because she can't stand your right-wing,
American scallop eating boyfriend.

He left because your chirpy little actress
couldn't keep her mouth shut.

-That's it. You're out of the movie.
-Fine.

[narrator]
And with his evening freed up,

Michael reached out to a son
he'd earlier blown off.

-Hey, Dad.
-George Michael, hey.

I got out of it.

I made a ton of people angry,

but you know what I always say,

"Family..."

Well, gosh, you know,
I really wanted to do that,

but I had this work thing come up.

And it's like you always say,

"Family first,
unless there's a work thing.

And then, work first."

-I have said that, too.
-Yeah.

So...

I've got politics and producing stuff
I can...

Yeah, we'll do it soon.

-All right
-All right, great.

-That'll be perfect. Bye-bye.
-Another time.

[knock on door]

-Hey.
-Hi.

-Oh, so this is a dorm.
-This is a dorm.

Well, I suppose
anything goes in a dorm.

You got that right.

[narrator] And while George Michael's
night would soon get better...

We should probably go inside,

because they don't like us
hanging out in the hallways actually.

Yeah.

[narrator] Michael's would only get worse.

-Hi.
-It's Michael Bluth.

Who is this?

This is my baby brother Argyle.

And here's the family joke.

I'm a tall drink of water,
and he's the chaser.

[narrator]
And the chaser wanted to be a producer.

Here's another joke.

You owe my sister $700,000,

and I'm going to chase you down
until you pay up.

And if you don't pay up by the 4th,

you're gonna be washing up
with the rest of the broken piñatas

on the 5th.

-[woman] Lucille!
-Hello.

Ow, ow!
What is on the bottom of those shoes?

Taps.

And I can tap dance all over your face,
if you know what I mean.

Even if my heart won't snap back
into place.

I don't know what you meant
with the last part there.

I'll chase you down
and find you, Michael.

You can't hide in
a gorilla suit from me.

[narrator]
But Argyle was wrong on that one...

It was Buster Bluth
who wore the gorilla suit.

Tobias had no way of being around DeBrie

without the rights
to The Fantastic Four.

And that's when he ran into
an equally worried Michael.

You okay?

Michael.What a pleasant surprise.

Please. Make yourself at home.

I am. I'm home.

This is my-- I own all
the homes here, actually.

And Gob's supposed to be
selling these, so...

Where is he? Do you know?

Out and about.

Me doth think he hath a lady.

-As doth I dooth.
-Oh.

And they're both bit of a celebrities.

Well, that is odd,
because I'm also dating a celebrity.

Perchance a double date is in our future.

-Eh, brother-in-law?
-I don't...

Tell me about her.

I don't think that you're
the best one to talk to

about my relationship difficulties.

Fair enough.

It's only what I do for a living, Michael.

What I'm trained to do.

Well, let me tell you
a little bit about her.

So, it's a simple choice, really.

If I keep seeing her,
he'll find out and kill the movie.

So, I either keep the girl
and lose the movie,

or I keep the movie, lose the girl.

But the whole reason that I did the movie
was to get the girl.

[sighs]
Michael, I appreciate your bravery.

And I know everything
seems doomed now,

and believe me,
I'm in a similar situation myself,

but trust me.

We are [bleeps] We are [bleeps]
We're [bleeps]

I mean, unless some sort of
miracle coincidence happens.

But, no, the best thing
to do is just walk away,

and we'll lick each other's wombs.

I think I should just go tell Ron Howard
that it is over.

Yes.

-Ron Howard's making this movie?
-Yeah.

Michael, you can't just walk away
from this.

You have to go talk to him.

How's this?

What I'm going
to do for you, Michael, is...

I am going to go there
with you for moral support,

and I will act as your assistant

and maybe I'll do
my famous gay character.

I don't think you've
seen that character.

I think I have.

Hmm... I don't think so.

[narrator]
The next day Michael sat down

for a one-on-one meeting with Ron Howard.

Hi, thank you for seeing me.

Well, that's fine,

but I should warn you,
this is what I call a haircut meeting,

-So, we probably don't have much time.
-Okay.

It would be so much better
if we could just lose the baseball cap.

We go through this every time.

This is a hat-on haircut,

so you just cut what they can see.

You got it, Floyd?

I call all my barbers Floyd.
It's just easier for me.

Okay. I'm gonna make this quick.

[clears throat]

Are you not going to introduce me?

I thought you were gonn wait in the lobby.

Tobias Funke.
I am a producer, as well.

But I'm also an actor.
That's probably what confused you.

I've done several inmate roles,

as well as a couple of

"And As It Is Such,
So Also As Such Is It Unto You's,"

but I'll get to you after.

Well, that's terrific.

Do you notice that he's already
on my neck hair?

Yes. Last time I was in here,
we talked about,

I wouldn't come back until I had
all the release signatures.

-I wanted to give you an update.
-Terrific.

You can just leave 'em
on Louisa's desk.

But that's the update.
I don't have them.

Done.

Okay, well, thanks for coming.

Well...

Don't you have something else
you wanted to say?

If not, I'll do mine.

No, no, no. What? I don't--

[exhales]
Ron, I care about someone deeply,

and I think that you may also
care about this person.

Hey, that's terrific.

It's Rebel. Rebel Alley.

And she thinks that you're
gonna always be in her life.

I'm glad to know she thinks that.

Yeah.

Tell him how you feel about her.

Yeah, you know, I'm crazy about her,

and I'm not going to
be able to do anything about that

until you let her go.

-She's my little num-num.
-Sure.

-You understand what I'm saying?
-Of course.

I've changed her. I've bathed her.

Now you want to bathe her.

Yeah, it's my time to bathe her.

She should be my num-num,

She should be my num-num,

and you've got to just let her go,
I think, once and for all.

A father doesn't really like to hear that
when it comes to his daughter.

I haven't had a chance
to talk to her father.

I have not yet had a chance
to talk to her father, but...

No, no. I was saying that.

Because you are talking to her father.

Did you not know that I'm Rebel's dad?

I knew that part.

But I also...

I thought that you might also be...

her...

Her lover?

No.

Well, this is hardly an episode
of Happy Days.

I get it.
I was arrested as a sex offender,

but at least I knew it was my daughter
I was arrested for coming on to.

Now, about my project,
it's a family piece.

Does this mean our project is dead?

Listen, I never let personal matters
interfere with business.

However, you should know
she's dating someone else,

and I'll do everything in my power

to make sure she never dates you again.

Incredibly fair of you.

Well, that was a merry mix-up, eh?
[laughs]

Now, about my project,

it's based on something
that you produced in '92,

The Fantastic Four.

That was a favor that I did for Fox.

It turns out that one of the leads,
DeBrie, played Sue Storm.

In fact, she is the leading lady

in my production of
Fantastic Four: The Musical.

Which, with a wave
of your little pink hand,

you could make happen,

and then I'd owe you one.

Thanks, but I couldn't do that.

It would just be so incredibly meaningful
and change so many lives.

I can't do it.

But I also don't want to. [chuckles]

[laughing]

You are ruining my life, Ron Howard!

-You're ruining it!
-[Ron shouts]

[narrator] On the next
Arrested Development:

Fateful Consequences...

Tobias reassesses.

I'm gonna start wearing a hat
when I get my haircut, too.

What is wrong with you?

You knew that Ron Howard was
Rebel Alley's father?

Yes, everyone does.

I didn't realize that's who you thought
the other man was,

but the good news is,

at least one of our projects
is still going, which...

by the way,
I haven't signed this yet.

Should I?

Yes, absolutely. Thank you.

My movie rights.

Tobias Onyango Funke.

Initial down here.

This is exciting.

Thank you.

You're out of the movie.

[narrator] And after making his bed
goes to lie in it.

He's back.

I got the rights.

We're going to make a musical.

[narrator] Or just lie.

[cheering]

[continue cheering]

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