All language subtitles for Archer s06e07 Nellis.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,926 [PHONE RINGING] 2 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:10,308 [CONTINUES RINGING] 3 00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:19,734 [SIGHS] 4 00:00:19,902 --> 00:00:21,110 What? 5 00:00:21,278 --> 00:00:23,154 Ugh. Yes, I'll accept the charges. 6 00:00:23,322 --> 00:00:24,447 [ARCHER COUGHING OVER PHONE] 7 00:00:24,615 --> 00:00:27,700 Goddamn, who is it? Cancer? ARCHER: Oh. 8 00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:29,827 I think it's Mr. Archer. 9 00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:31,079 Hello? 10 00:00:31,246 --> 00:00:33,289 ARCHER [OVER SPEAKER]: Carol, hey, shut up. I need your help. 11 00:00:33,457 --> 00:00:35,833 And that's how you ask? ARCHER: Wait, Pam? 12 00:00:36,001 --> 00:00:37,335 Is that you? Yes. 13 00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:40,838 ARCHER: Great, shut up, because I'm talking to Carol. Carol, here's the deal... 14 00:00:41,006 --> 00:00:44,967 Let me guess, you're butt-hurt because Lana hired some Pakistani dude to shoot you. 15 00:00:45,135 --> 00:00:48,012 You went to Vegas, now you're drunk and broke outside a casino. 16 00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:52,642 You want me to wire a thousand dollars to buy you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore. 17 00:00:53,685 --> 00:00:56,813 ARCHER: Okay, I'm gonna list everything you just said that's totally wrong. 18 00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,357 A, not outside a casino, so... 19 00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,859 CHERYL: Okay, it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up... 20 00:01:02,027 --> 00:01:03,236 ...but... No. Wait, wait. 21 00:01:03,403 --> 00:01:05,279 Come on, I really need your help. 22 00:01:05,447 --> 00:01:09,075 Ugh. Okay, where do I send the...? Hang on. 23 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:10,368 Make him beg. 24 00:01:10,536 --> 00:01:12,912 ARCHER: Pam, goddamn it, I said shut up. You shut up. 25 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,207 Jesus, I'm sending you the money for your stupid plane ticket. 26 00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,167 ARCHER: Which would be great... 27 00:01:18,335 --> 00:01:20,878 ...if I were not on the no-fly list. PAM: Ha-ha-ha-ha! 28 00:01:21,046 --> 00:01:24,465 CHERYL: How did you get on the no-fly list? Uh... 29 00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:25,675 [GRUNTING] 30 00:01:25,843 --> 00:01:28,052 Help! Get it off! CO-PILOT: Oh! 31 00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:30,513 I wanna fly the plane. 32 00:01:30,681 --> 00:01:33,432 You know, who knows? It's the government. That's not important. 33 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,185 What is important is getting me home. 34 00:01:36,353 --> 00:01:39,647 Ugh. Fine, then I'll send the money for a stupid train ticket. 35 00:01:39,815 --> 00:01:42,358 Which would also be great... 36 00:01:42,526 --> 00:01:45,194 [GRUNTING] 37 00:01:45,362 --> 00:01:47,822 I wanna fly the train. 38 00:01:47,990 --> 00:01:51,117 Wow, I had no idea there was a no-train list. 39 00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:53,411 Well, neither did I, but apparently there is. 40 00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:56,038 And before you ask, the answer is no, Carol. 41 00:01:56,206 --> 00:01:57,748 A thousand times no. 42 00:01:57,916 --> 00:02:02,253 I will not, I cannot ride the bus. 43 00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:04,505 Wha...? Stop. Goddamn it, I said no. 44 00:02:04,673 --> 00:02:05,965 [MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY] 45 00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,425 Simone, I swear to God... 46 00:02:07,593 --> 00:02:09,719 ...I will rub your own remaining teeth in your eyes. 47 00:02:09,887 --> 00:02:11,929 [MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY] 48 00:02:12,097 --> 00:02:13,097 [SPITS] 49 00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:14,599 You ain't got kick pants. 50 00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:18,728 So I don't care what it costs me, financially or self-respectfully... 51 00:02:18,896 --> 00:02:22,273 ...but I need you to do me a big favor. 52 00:02:22,983 --> 00:02:24,400 Oh, thank you. 53 00:02:24,735 --> 00:02:26,277 Thank you, God. 54 00:02:27,571 --> 00:02:29,614 Yay! Right? 55 00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:32,200 Heh-heh-heh. Archer, you look like shit. 56 00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,409 And... 57 00:02:33,577 --> 00:02:34,619 [ARCHER SIGHS] 58 00:02:34,786 --> 00:02:36,287 And obviously thank you too... 59 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,042 ...Asmodeus, Destroyer of Men. 60 00:03:22,459 --> 00:03:25,378 ARCHER: All I needed was an airplane. 61 00:03:25,545 --> 00:03:27,588 So why is it full of you idiots? 62 00:03:27,756 --> 00:03:30,049 Well, I wasn't gonna sit around the office all by myself. 63 00:03:30,217 --> 00:03:31,259 [BELL DINGS] 64 00:03:31,426 --> 00:03:34,553 Because one of us needed some multi-engine time for his pilot's license... 65 00:03:34,721 --> 00:03:37,765 And one of us would go pretty much anywhere to piss off your mother. 66 00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:40,017 MALORY [OVER INTERCOM]: Hello? 67 00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:41,435 Hello? 68 00:03:41,603 --> 00:03:42,770 Son of a... 69 00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:46,440 Fine. Then I'll just get my own ice. 70 00:03:46,608 --> 00:03:49,402 No. I'll drink it neat. 71 00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:51,737 And me and Krieger are all about going to Branson. 72 00:03:51,905 --> 00:03:52,947 Boo-yah! 73 00:03:53,115 --> 00:03:56,784 And I assume Branson is some sort of all-one-cares-to-eat establishment? 74 00:03:56,952 --> 00:03:57,994 CHERYL: Um... KRIEGER: You're kidding, right? 75 00:03:58,161 --> 00:04:01,956 It's only the biggest country music tourist destination in the world. 76 00:04:02,124 --> 00:04:04,709 Wait a minute, is this about Cherlene? Who? 77 00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:07,503 She has no memory of any of that. Wait, what? 78 00:04:07,671 --> 00:04:11,007 You don't remember being the number one country singer in America? 79 00:04:11,174 --> 00:04:12,383 [SCOFFS THEN CHUCKLES] 80 00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,678 Okay. Besides, Branson isn't just country music. 81 00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:18,180 There's Tony Orlando, Charo... 82 00:04:18,348 --> 00:04:20,850 The comedy stylings of Yakov Smirnoff. 83 00:04:21,018 --> 00:04:22,393 How do you not know about Branson? 84 00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:26,063 I guess the same reason I don't know what grits are or hush puppies. 85 00:04:26,231 --> 00:04:27,273 PAM: You serious? CHERYL: My God. 86 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:30,026 Hush puppies are little balls of fried cornmeal batter. 87 00:04:30,402 --> 00:04:34,113 Mm. Not really, though. Well, and also shoes. 88 00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:38,743 Well, thank you, Cyril. I was just angry, now I'm confused and angry. 89 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:40,745 GILLETTE [OVER INTERCOM]: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. 90 00:04:40,912 --> 00:04:44,248 This is Captain Ray Gillette, welcoming you aboard from the flight deck. 91 00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:47,168 - Flight time to Branson is about three hours. - ARCHER: No, it isn't. 92 00:04:47,336 --> 00:04:50,796 Shut up. And in the meantime, if you look out the left side of the cabin... 93 00:04:50,964 --> 00:04:53,382 ...you can just make out Nellis Air Force Base... 94 00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:55,676 ...home to Area 51. 95 00:04:55,844 --> 00:04:57,053 Wait, what? Seriously? 96 00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:59,388 CYRIL: Hey, watch it. I can't see it. I can't see it. 97 00:04:59,556 --> 00:05:01,057 See what? What's Area 51? 98 00:05:01,224 --> 00:05:05,186 What's Area...? Are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51. 99 00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:08,356 Even me, and I didn't even know they made shoes out of cornbread. 100 00:05:08,523 --> 00:05:11,567 It's where the government keeps all the aliens that have crashed on Earth. 101 00:05:11,735 --> 00:05:14,820 Well, allegedly, but... Oh, my God. Cyril, shut up. 102 00:05:14,988 --> 00:05:17,615 Oh, so you believe the United States government... 103 00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:20,743 ...is actually harboring extraterrestrial life-forms... 104 00:05:20,911 --> 00:05:23,829 ...at an Air Force base in the Nevada desert. Heh. No. 105 00:05:23,997 --> 00:05:28,000 Ray, get in closer. I can't see jackdick. GILLETTE: No, this is good. 106 00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:30,503 That airspace is all extremely restricted, so... 107 00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:32,296 KRIEGER: For the love of God. PAM: You pussy! 108 00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:34,131 Well, maybe a little closer. ARCHER: Whoa! 109 00:05:34,299 --> 00:05:35,633 Hang on. What are you doing? 110 00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:38,052 Heh. And what are you wearing? 111 00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:40,971 It was in the crew locker. I think it looks pretty sharp. 112 00:05:41,139 --> 00:05:43,265 Really? PAM: Ray, get closer! 113 00:05:43,433 --> 00:05:44,767 Pam, shut up. KRIEGER: Make her. 114 00:05:44,935 --> 00:05:47,061 Look, Ray, I know you don't do well with peer pressure... 115 00:05:47,229 --> 00:05:49,105 Wha...? Teacup pig. 116 00:05:49,272 --> 00:05:50,356 Oh, yeah. 117 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,858 How big was Hamlet when you had to get rid of it? 118 00:05:53,026 --> 00:05:56,946 He was up there. Heh. Yeah, like 300 shit-covered pounds. 119 00:05:57,114 --> 00:05:59,323 Seriously, don't dick around with the Air Force. 120 00:05:59,491 --> 00:06:02,827 That's a top-secret base down there and they've got surface-to-air missiles. 121 00:06:02,994 --> 00:06:04,036 PAM: Ray! Pam. 122 00:06:04,204 --> 00:06:05,413 KRIEGER: Ray! Krieger. 123 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:06,956 ALL: Ray! What? 124 00:06:07,124 --> 00:06:08,165 God. Damn it. 125 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,792 What? That. 126 00:06:12,754 --> 00:06:15,548 Goddamn it. Everybody hang on. 127 00:06:15,715 --> 00:06:16,799 [ALL YELLING] 128 00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:20,094 Goddamn it. I said hang on. 129 00:06:20,262 --> 00:06:21,470 You know... 130 00:06:25,434 --> 00:06:27,768 [ALL SCREAMING] 131 00:06:27,936 --> 00:06:29,895 Jesus Christ, Ray, do something. 132 00:06:30,063 --> 00:06:32,898 Besides fly the goddamn plane? Oh, you're already... 133 00:06:33,066 --> 00:06:36,026 Sorry, I didn't know what the deal was. I think I can land it. 134 00:06:36,194 --> 00:06:38,696 But I gotta put it down at Nellis. 135 00:06:38,864 --> 00:06:41,866 Where the missiles are coming from? It's either that or crash. 136 00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:44,785 Okay, sorry, just making sure there's not a third option... 137 00:06:44,953 --> 00:06:46,203 Get out! 138 00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:48,122 [ALL YELLING] 139 00:06:49,624 --> 00:06:51,750 Are we gonna die? 140 00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:57,173 Not today, gorgeous, not today. 141 00:06:57,340 --> 00:07:00,718 I mean, probably today, but... PAM: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 142 00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:02,928 Krieger, everybody, calm down. 143 00:07:03,096 --> 00:07:04,847 Ray says he can land us at Nellis. 144 00:07:05,015 --> 00:07:07,349 You mean right at Area 51? 145 00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:10,102 Yes, Pam. Happy? 146 00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:14,064 I mean, yes. 147 00:07:19,321 --> 00:07:20,863 MALORY: And who needs ice? 148 00:07:21,031 --> 00:07:23,324 It's perfectly fine without ice. 149 00:07:23,492 --> 00:07:25,242 Just ask Europe. 150 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,077 Lana? 151 00:07:27,245 --> 00:07:28,621 No? 152 00:07:28,788 --> 00:07:31,457 Come in, dear. What are you doing? Come in here. 153 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:32,875 [LANA SIGHS] 154 00:07:33,043 --> 00:07:34,919 Hello. Hello, dear. 155 00:07:35,086 --> 00:07:37,588 Drink? Uh, no? 156 00:07:37,756 --> 00:07:40,174 Well, you're not missing much. 157 00:07:40,342 --> 00:07:41,509 No ice. Not a cube. 158 00:07:41,676 --> 00:07:44,637 And I can't wait to hear her flimsy excuse this time. 159 00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:47,097 SOLDIER 1: Get out of the plane. SOLDIER 2: Put your hands up. 160 00:07:47,265 --> 00:07:48,516 SOLDIER 3: Get out of the plane. 161 00:07:48,683 --> 00:07:50,017 Now. Let's go. Let's move. 162 00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,685 [ALL GROANING] 163 00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:55,105 Wow, those guys look furious. 164 00:07:55,273 --> 00:07:57,858 Yeah, no shit. So thank you, Ray. 165 00:07:58,026 --> 00:07:59,860 For what, safely landing the plane? 166 00:08:00,028 --> 00:08:02,488 What, like that cancels out getting it shot down? 167 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:05,699 You were the one yapping your head off about my damn teacup pig. 168 00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:07,952 Who I hope to see on my next BLT. 169 00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:11,622 Well, too bad, because he went to live on a... 170 00:08:11,790 --> 00:08:13,415 A farm. Exactly. 171 00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:16,293 So unless that farm had a magical talking spider... 172 00:08:16,461 --> 00:08:17,628 [GILLETTE GASPS] 173 00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:20,548 Yeah. They don't keep them around for their milk. 174 00:08:20,715 --> 00:08:23,384 And I don't know that we're accomplishing as much as we could be right now. 175 00:08:23,552 --> 00:08:24,927 [CLATTERING] 176 00:08:26,596 --> 00:08:28,055 Hm. How about now? 177 00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,890 KRIEGER: Oh, my God, I bet it's nerve gas. 178 00:08:30,058 --> 00:08:33,143 Just like they sprayed on Duddy Kravitz in Close Encounters. 179 00:08:33,311 --> 00:08:35,938 CYRIL: Wait, what? It's not nerve gas, you idiots, it's... 180 00:08:36,106 --> 00:08:38,566 KRIEGER: Do you think the CIA's above nerve gas? 181 00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:41,110 I... Holy shit, that's right. It's the CIA. 182 00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:42,486 I've got Q clearance. 183 00:08:42,654 --> 00:08:43,779 PAM: Really? CHERYL: What? 184 00:08:43,947 --> 00:08:46,198 What does that even mean? It means get naked. 185 00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:49,159 Come on, let's go. Gun's out, buns out. 186 00:08:49,327 --> 00:08:51,203 Don't shoot! SOLDIER 1: Hands up, everybody. 187 00:08:51,371 --> 00:08:54,373 ARCHER: We're coming out. Don't shoot. God. This is horse shit. 188 00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:56,750 Great, underpants. ARCHER: Do not shoot. 189 00:08:56,918 --> 00:08:58,752 Guys, it's okay. SOLDIER 2: He's got a weapon. 190 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,006 He's got a weapon. Q clearance! I've got Q clearance! 191 00:09:02,173 --> 00:09:03,924 Seriously, is that even a real thing? 192 00:09:04,092 --> 00:09:06,343 Q clearance? We'll see about that. 193 00:09:06,511 --> 00:09:08,178 What's your authentication phrase? 194 00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:14,602 Sweet-44, tender-9, hot-juicy pork chops. I didn't pick it. 195 00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:18,272 Authentication checks out, sir. Says here he's, uh, Agent Slater. 196 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,233 Huh. Well, Agent Slater... 197 00:09:21,401 --> 00:09:22,776 PAM: What? ARCHER: Shut up. 198 00:09:22,944 --> 00:09:24,486 How'd you get Slater's code word? 199 00:09:24,654 --> 00:09:28,324 You mind telling me why in God's green dick you were in my airspace? 200 00:09:28,491 --> 00:09:33,203 Well, our airspace, for starters, right? Since I have CIA clearance and all. 201 00:09:33,371 --> 00:09:36,707 And not that it's any of your business, uh, lieutenant... 202 00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,542 Colonel. Lieutenant colonel. 203 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:42,588 But during transport of these prisoners... Black site, pretty icky stuff. 204 00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,840 They attempted to overpower me... 205 00:09:45,008 --> 00:09:47,134 ...forcing my pilot to make an emergency landing... 206 00:09:47,302 --> 00:09:50,929 ...but before he could radio your tower for permission to land, boom! 207 00:09:51,097 --> 00:09:54,350 And then, well, you know the rest. Is this true? 208 00:09:54,517 --> 00:09:57,394 Uh... He's Israeli, so just Hebrew, unless... 209 00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:59,229 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 210 00:09:59,397 --> 00:10:01,273 So, no, just Hebrew. 211 00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:04,193 Then how was he gonna radio the tower? Which, I mean... 212 00:10:04,361 --> 00:10:07,571 Yeah, exactly. And if I spoke Hebrew, I would ask him. 213 00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:11,533 Right after I ask your wife and kids about you, but they don't know. 214 00:10:11,701 --> 00:10:14,745 They haven't seen you in a year. They think you ran off with a stripper. 215 00:10:14,913 --> 00:10:18,791 When in reality, you were literally climbing the walls of a farmhouse in Virginia... 216 00:10:18,958 --> 00:10:20,584 ...out of your mind on LSD... 217 00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:24,380 ...compliments of the CIA and MKULTRA. Jesus Christ. 218 00:10:24,547 --> 00:10:27,132 So while you're finding me a new airplane, Air Force guy... 219 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:30,260 ...we're gonna need some sort of shuttle to... 220 00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:32,429 I assume you have an officer's club? Yep. 221 00:10:32,597 --> 00:10:34,890 Jeeps! Give me two jeeps up here on the double. 222 00:10:35,058 --> 00:10:36,433 Jeeps, goddamn it, jeeps! 223 00:10:37,268 --> 00:10:39,728 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 224 00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:42,314 LANA: I'm sorry? You're sure you don't want a drink? 225 00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:44,608 Yeah, in the low 90's on that. 226 00:10:44,776 --> 00:10:46,235 Suit yourself. 227 00:10:46,403 --> 00:10:48,779 So. And how is our little Abbiejean? 228 00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:51,073 Oh, yeah, she's good. 229 00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:53,951 Great, actually. And I'm really liking her nanny. 230 00:10:54,119 --> 00:10:57,955 Mm. Hispanic? Ah. She's actually Polish. 231 00:10:58,123 --> 00:10:59,540 Is that supposed to be better? 232 00:10:59,708 --> 00:11:01,041 What? No. They're both... 233 00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:02,376 Abbiejean. 234 00:11:02,544 --> 00:11:04,044 That's from where, again? 235 00:11:04,212 --> 00:11:06,380 Again, it was my grandmother's name. 236 00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:09,883 Hm. You know what I think would be wonderful? 237 00:11:10,051 --> 00:11:14,054 A border moat? Is if she had her grandmother's name. 238 00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:17,558 Well, yeah, and obviously I talked to my... Mother of God, you mean you. 239 00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:20,561 Thoughts? ARCHER: They don't have my brands. 240 00:11:20,729 --> 00:11:22,813 I don't even recognize most of these. 241 00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:25,566 Maybe instead of worrying about what cocktails to make... 242 00:11:25,734 --> 00:11:29,153 That's what I'm saying, Cyril. I don't even know if I can make cocktails. 243 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,322 What the hell's the Air Force spending all those kajillions on? 244 00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:33,907 "O'Dublin Tequila"? 245 00:11:34,075 --> 00:11:37,161 Vodka, maybe. They obviously know their way around a potato, but... 246 00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:40,497 My point is maybe you should worry about what's gonna happen to us... 247 00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:44,585 ...when they find out you're not Slater. I should worry about all kinds of shit. 248 00:11:44,753 --> 00:11:46,920 But you know what they say about stress. 249 00:11:47,088 --> 00:11:48,130 [DOOR OPENS] 250 00:11:48,298 --> 00:11:49,673 [CHITTERING] 251 00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:51,091 ARCHER: Come on, anybody? 252 00:11:51,843 --> 00:11:53,177 [BOTH SCREAM] 253 00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:55,512 ARCHER: Exactly, the silent killer. 254 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,682 [BOTH BABBLING] 255 00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,809 What? What is wrong with you? 256 00:12:00,977 --> 00:12:03,729 Jesus, use your talking words. Just slap her. 257 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:07,399 Ho... Ho... Holy shit-snacks. Did you guys see that? 258 00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:08,942 CHERYL: See what? CYRIL: What are you talking about? 259 00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:10,986 It was... It... It... Just slap him. 260 00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:12,446 PAM: Come on. 261 00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:14,948 Ugh. Where are you going? 262 00:12:15,116 --> 00:12:17,367 Oh, goddamn it. You think? 263 00:12:17,535 --> 00:12:19,119 Yeah, it's worse than I thought. 264 00:12:19,287 --> 00:12:20,329 [COUGHS] 265 00:12:20,497 --> 00:12:21,705 We might even have to use sour mix. 266 00:12:21,873 --> 00:12:24,082 I am talking about Pam and Krieger... 267 00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:27,586 ...running around a top-secret military installation in their underwear! 268 00:12:27,754 --> 00:12:30,714 When they're supposed to be prisoners. Yeah, that's no good, huh? 269 00:12:30,882 --> 00:12:33,592 They'll probably shoot them on sight. CHERYL: Heh-heh. 270 00:12:33,843 --> 00:12:35,344 Well? Well, what, Cyril? 271 00:12:35,512 --> 00:12:38,555 Yes, obviously I'm gonna go after them. 272 00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:45,896 So just calm down, do something with your hands. 273 00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:47,564 Uh, cut some limes. 274 00:12:47,732 --> 00:12:48,816 [ALARM WAILING] 275 00:12:48,983 --> 00:12:51,902 WOMAN [OVER PA]: Security breach, Sector 9. 276 00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,405 No, but seriously, Cyril, cut some limes. 277 00:12:55,573 --> 00:12:58,492 Like, six. 278 00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:06,250 WOMAN [OVER PA]: Security breach, Sector 9. 279 00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:09,503 You think that's for us? I don't know. What sector is this? 280 00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:12,589 What am I, this map? Oh, wait. 281 00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:15,092 Oh, crap, this is totally nine. 282 00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:16,677 Eh. Could be a coincidence. 283 00:13:16,845 --> 00:13:18,262 Yeah, like just a fire drill. 284 00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:21,682 Although it's probably because they found that poor kid you clobbered. 285 00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:25,477 You don't think I killed him, do you? What am I, a doctor? 286 00:13:25,645 --> 00:13:27,479 ARCHER: Heh-heh. Ouch. 287 00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:29,731 So guess Pam came through here. 288 00:13:29,899 --> 00:13:33,110 Jesus, it's like tracking a bear. 289 00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:36,446 Wait, you're breathing though, right? 290 00:13:36,614 --> 00:13:37,656 [MOANS] 291 00:13:37,824 --> 00:13:40,450 Attaboy, shake it off. Bet you probably just have a brain... 292 00:13:40,618 --> 00:13:42,327 SOLDIER: Freeze. 293 00:13:42,495 --> 00:13:44,913 Hey, guys. Drop it. I said drop it. 294 00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:48,000 [CUP CLATTERING] 295 00:13:49,627 --> 00:13:50,961 [BELCHES] 296 00:13:51,129 --> 00:13:52,254 It was empty anyway. 297 00:13:52,422 --> 00:13:54,339 The weapon. Drop the weapon. 298 00:13:54,507 --> 00:13:57,175 What, on the floor? Are you serious? 299 00:13:57,343 --> 00:14:00,470 Hey, you may not know this, since I assume you get yours for free... 300 00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:03,932 ...but guns are actually pretty expensive. I'm gonna count to three. 301 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,350 Count to whatever you want. 302 00:14:05,518 --> 00:14:08,437 A hundred thousand. Mm-hm. 303 00:14:08,605 --> 00:14:10,898 Dollars. Mm... 304 00:14:11,065 --> 00:14:12,816 To name my kid after you? 305 00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:16,737 I think it's quite generous. I think it's quite bat-shit insane. 306 00:14:16,905 --> 00:14:19,072 Well, I... And Ron can afford it and... 307 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:23,493 I'm not selling you the naming rights, Malory. She's not a fricking bowl game. 308 00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:25,662 [SOBBING] 309 00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,205 Ugh. 310 00:14:27,373 --> 00:14:28,415 Oh, now... 311 00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:29,958 [MALORY CONTINUES SOBBING] 312 00:14:30,126 --> 00:14:31,168 [LANA SIGHS] 313 00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:33,795 I mean, if it means that much to you... 314 00:14:33,963 --> 00:14:36,381 [MALORY CONTINUES SOBBING THEN LANA SIGHS] 315 00:14:36,549 --> 00:14:41,803 ...I guess maybe Malory could be her middle name. 316 00:14:41,971 --> 00:14:43,138 Really? 317 00:14:43,306 --> 00:14:44,514 [LANA SIGHS] 318 00:14:44,682 --> 00:14:46,266 Yes. 319 00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:50,187 Well, obviously that's not worth a hundred thousand dollars, but... 320 00:14:50,355 --> 00:14:52,272 Fifty? Pfft. Twenty-two-five... 321 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:57,611 ...and I want a notarized copy of the revised birth certificate on my desk by Friday. 322 00:14:57,779 --> 00:15:00,030 I... Oh, and christen her in a white church... 323 00:15:00,198 --> 00:15:02,491 ...and I'll kick in five more. 324 00:15:03,618 --> 00:15:04,910 Wow. 325 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,161 Real life ETs. 326 00:15:06,329 --> 00:15:09,081 My God, I hope we find them. I have so many questions. 327 00:15:09,248 --> 00:15:11,833 Heh. Like what? How to build a better anal probe? 328 00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:15,170 Right? I bet their anal technology is light-years ahead of mine. 329 00:15:15,338 --> 00:15:17,798 A light-year's a unit of length, dipshit. 330 00:15:17,966 --> 00:15:20,425 Well, whatever then. Parsecs. Length. 331 00:15:20,593 --> 00:15:21,802 I... Hey, you know what? 332 00:15:21,970 --> 00:15:25,347 I know how far light travels in a vacuum in a Julian year. 333 00:15:25,515 --> 00:15:29,476 Oh. Very good, Pamela. 334 00:15:29,644 --> 00:15:32,229 I... That... My... I... 335 00:15:32,397 --> 00:15:33,981 You know my name? 336 00:15:34,148 --> 00:15:37,234 Yes, Pamela. And yours, Algernop. 337 00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:39,569 But... But... But... English? 338 00:15:41,155 --> 00:15:42,948 Yeah, head. 339 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,241 Head. 340 00:15:44,409 --> 00:15:46,868 Pam, I think he means telepathy. 341 00:15:47,036 --> 00:15:49,913 Holy shit, like in Scanners? 342 00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:51,373 KRIEGER & ALIENS: No. 343 00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:53,542 No, no, wait. I have Q clearance. 344 00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:55,711 Bullshit. Firing in three... 345 00:15:55,878 --> 00:15:57,921 ...two... No, stop it. Look, I'm serious. 346 00:15:58,089 --> 00:16:01,383 Just radio Lieutenant Colonel. He can straighten this whole thing out. 347 00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:03,468 Lieutenant Colonel who? What? 348 00:16:03,636 --> 00:16:05,971 Lieutenant Colonel who? 349 00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,015 Oh, my God. 350 00:16:08,182 --> 00:16:11,601 Whoa. Wow. All right, this is pretty embarrassing. 351 00:16:11,769 --> 00:16:16,606 I thought that guy was a lieutenant, and that his last name was Colonel. 352 00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:18,817 In three, two... Wait! 353 00:16:18,985 --> 00:16:23,321 Goddamn it. Look, I was just trying to get home from Vegas. 354 00:16:23,614 --> 00:16:26,616 So, okay, here, you can have my weapon. 355 00:16:26,784 --> 00:16:28,660 But I do have some conditions. 356 00:16:28,828 --> 00:16:30,245 Uh, what conditions? 357 00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:32,414 Well, you're not gonna like them. 358 00:16:32,582 --> 00:16:35,000 [GRUNTING] 359 00:16:47,889 --> 00:16:48,930 Whew. 360 00:16:49,098 --> 00:16:53,060 And not to knock the Air Force, but good thing you guys have airplanes. 361 00:16:53,227 --> 00:16:55,645 Unh. I got a cousin in the Air Force. 362 00:16:55,813 --> 00:16:58,690 Brian. I should give him a call. 363 00:16:58,858 --> 00:17:00,525 Should we, uh...? 364 00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,903 Guys, I really feel like we should be doing something. 365 00:17:03,071 --> 00:17:05,864 CHERYL: Ugh. We are. Come on, nothing by The Drifters? 366 00:17:06,032 --> 00:17:09,618 Tams? The Dominoes? The Embers? They call this classic rock. 367 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,287 What is this, Myrtle Beach? 368 00:17:12,455 --> 00:17:15,874 Ray, is this Myrtle Beach? No. 369 00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:17,084 [BOTH SOBBING] 370 00:17:17,251 --> 00:17:19,252 And that, my dear Earthlings... 371 00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:23,548 ...is the key to understanding the entire universe. 372 00:17:23,716 --> 00:17:26,718 Well, at least as we understand it. 373 00:17:26,886 --> 00:17:28,303 Yes. 374 00:17:28,721 --> 00:17:33,016 Take us with you. 375 00:17:33,184 --> 00:17:35,352 ARCHER: I will, if you shut up. 376 00:17:36,813 --> 00:17:38,605 PAM & KRIEGER: Wha...? 377 00:17:40,108 --> 00:17:41,525 [PAM BABBLING AND ARCHER GRUNTING] 378 00:17:41,692 --> 00:17:44,694 What the hell, Krieger? Did you shove your dick in a socket? 379 00:17:44,862 --> 00:17:47,781 Did...? Did...? Did...? Ouch! 380 00:17:47,949 --> 00:17:50,117 Krieger, I am in no mood. Now get dressed. 381 00:17:50,284 --> 00:17:53,411 CHERYL: Ugh. Seriously? Yes, seriously. 382 00:17:53,579 --> 00:17:58,125 We're gonna walk out of this building, into a hangar, and steal an Air Force plane. 383 00:17:58,292 --> 00:18:01,086 While we're doing that, I could do with less shit from you... 384 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,964 ...since all I wanted was a ride home. 385 00:18:04,132 --> 00:18:07,134 On my private jet. Wha...? Yes. 386 00:18:07,301 --> 00:18:10,303 Can...? Can we talk for a second about what happened? 387 00:18:10,471 --> 00:18:15,267 Uh, is that before or after Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet? 388 00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:16,560 Area 51. 389 00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:19,229 No. You guys, I swear, they were al... 390 00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:21,231 Pam, seriously, get your shit together. 391 00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:24,526 We have to go steal a plane from the United States Air Force. 392 00:18:26,737 --> 00:18:30,031 Which not as hard as I would've thought. 393 00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:32,033 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 394 00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:34,119 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 395 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,787 ARCHER: Yeah? You guys good? 396 00:18:35,955 --> 00:18:37,706 If you want a drink, just... Wha...? 397 00:18:38,624 --> 00:18:41,084 Because it's just de-icing fluid and Tang. 398 00:18:41,252 --> 00:18:42,669 Tell me. 399 00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:44,880 Tell me you saw them. I... 400 00:18:45,047 --> 00:18:48,717 Pam, I saw a blinding white flash, that's it. No ET, no ALF... 401 00:18:48,885 --> 00:18:51,052 But... But you believe me, don't you? 402 00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,221 You believe I'm telling the truth. 403 00:18:55,099 --> 00:18:58,059 Pam, the truth is out there. 404 00:18:58,227 --> 00:18:59,269 [GASPS] 405 00:18:59,437 --> 00:19:00,979 So you do believe me? 406 00:19:01,147 --> 00:19:04,107 Heh. No. You stupid idiot. 407 00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:06,943 Alrighty then, I think I'm sufficiently drunk enough... 408 00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:10,530 ...so who's up for Branson? GILLETTE: Yay! 409 00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:13,450 CHERYL: Swearsies, realsies? ARCHER: Yeah. 410 00:19:13,784 --> 00:19:16,286 Does this thing have bombs on it? 411 00:19:16,336 --> 00:19:20,886 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31973

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